Zach Looks for a New Assistant

and go hey guys how's it going well i have huge news all this is exciting notice anything different about my zoom name oh you switched it to as yeah it's been my assistance name for the last two years yeah we know and i had to manually fix it every time yeah over and over for two years endured a lot of jokes about it you know from random pitch meetings and edit sessions what do you think not your name you know i mean yeah right right right and so what do you think finally got you out of your chair to fix it but you would change it but now you figure out how to permanently change it is that the difference it was uh i was signed in into the wrong account oh so this wasn't something for you to go and fix you just had to sign in correctly i took about 30 seconds i was like hey can we actually try and fix that we were together in person yeah and i had my computer and uh she was like oh yeah yeah i see and then it was fixed and now it's fixed this is huge it's gonna change the whole tenor of the podcast that yeah maybe this is why you've been a little grumpy from the very beginning that's why well also for the three of us we've been having some sort of mental dissonance because we'd be looking at your face but seeing her name and finally when i look at you i feel peace right yeah uh well i mean look it's the best thing that happened to me all week so feeling pretty stoked i'm really happy for you yeah yeah yeah i don't know now your your mom isn't here but we're gonna do a two-parter today this one episode will be in two sessions that's the plan the first half hour will be me and andy and kiva and then later in the day when andy's unavailable and your mom is available he will swap in for andy yeah we were hopeful that your mom was gonna join us once we decided this window worked but um he hasn't responded to any of us for the last 90 minutes yeah yeah which on a Sunday is his right yes it's a careful balance i was just discussing it with my parents who are here and who i confide in all of our scheduling issues but i was like sunday afternoon putting down your phone to be with your family is actually commendable and it's actually something my family would love it if i did it's however is anti-weekend but it's very difficult with four adults with kids and careers yeah sometimes my my wife i'll be like hey you didn't write me back she'll be like um i didn't have my phone with me and the amount i want to be like show it to me show me you haven't texted anyone else in the last two hours uh you guys calmly listening because uh it was a real um you know that real quiet yarn we need to come up with a word for when your mom just drops a little win in we're going over the best movies from 1994 and he very quietly said silence of the hams right which is a silence of the lambs parody uh with McGruber uh the television series own billy zane i listened back to that episode and i still didn't hear him say that that again time codes thank God for time codes is that often said now this is a cartoon that came out that year no it's it's like a parody movie with billy zane oh he plays a character named joe j-o-d-e foster yeah he's a character named jody foster oh so it's like a uh like a scary movie dom deliwies plays dr anibal cannibal pizza we gotta check the cell to the yes hold on where i'm bringing up the animal cannibal pizza martin balsam who played the detective in uh in psycho plays uh detective martin balsam so he plays himself i guess there's a real fun Seth i know a lot of people like a go-to kind of play joke at this point is like well that's a great name for a band but Hannibal cannibal pizza actually is like a fucking dope name for a band i would go see that band Hannibal cannibal pizza yeah dude Hannibal cannibal pizza plays hard so there's a lot of i mean so maybe by the way in our uh whatever we do we run out of shorts a bunch of people recommended they would love a silence to the ham's rewatch silence of at the hands excuse me insane you got that wrong oh i'm just learning about it obviously obviously you're new about it well um real quick we forgot say uh last week was the episode of japan and we forgot to say the beginning that we did record that in japan we did fly-over there with our podcast what yeah and do it in japan how did we forget that seem so important i wasn't there how did i get left out oh we didn't we had enough money for three um couple of new ones real quick are you ready and the people want it they don't want to give up on coming up with a way for words for you complaining oh i'm all about it yeah and he's can't cease i mean you know whatever uh sam slams s a m b's i mean it's just the problem is it doesn't you don't hear the b for sam slams slams sams slams um quibbles quibbles quibbles is not bad on its own yeah yeah quibbles when he's not quibbles he's quibbles like if the film studio universal was naming this in the early arts it would have just been quibbles yeah like a one word clean you know yeah nice and neat uh and then this one hit home for me i finally figured out the name for the part where Andy complains call it the lonely island in Seth Meyers podcast that's so funny did not register it registered all right i just find it so funny Seth let's just give this one a little what could be worse than a cycle pathic serial killer with an overactive appetite for destruction in producing special agent jody foster jody foster happy friend let's do a joke he's f-b-i haha why is the president right here i only see her husband smoking a cigar named non smoking restaurant is a federal offense you'll pay for this i mean there's a million things to pause for this that i'm not gonna but was that john landess uh i'd better think it was was a hillary clinton there i mean to somebody doing a hillary clinton somebody doing it uh george bush but they got the real hillary he's a good guy with some bad habits and a sixth sense we're snooping out the criminally offensive thank you smelly thing nothing is safe here we are just alone nothing is sacred fucking blowing so hard you know he doesn't in health nothing makes sense sorry boss i couldn't understand you with this cigar in the mouth there crazy murder cabin fever entertainment is proud to present a killer comedy with cutting-edge commentary and stabbing satire hold out of your hernias for a spooge of epic proportions the silence of the hams anyways the silence of the hams which seems even though it's spoofing silence of the lambs like it's mostly a psycho parody a lot of psycho it definitely seemed like some basic instinct was in there uh Dracula bram strokeers Dracula was in there bram strokeers uh oh um i've no i've never purchased a movie uh with that parody title strokeers Dracula it's already so sexy i think it was uh bram strokeers watch me do me i'm a Freudian you slipped i'm a Freud you had a slip how what's the pun there says help me out dude help help me humiliate you i don't want to do that um oh hey we talked about a dratch stepping in it with her special oh yeah did she respond she did she sent in a voice note i haven't listened to she had a lot of caveats that the voice note was too long and not good oh no let's rock it but should we just listen yeah yeah we got to listen to it in its entirety obviously yeah of course strap in quades hello this is Rachel dratch and i was asked to make a statement by chef about the controversies surrounding my New York Times cross repuzzle sub i just say or the only person that brought this up to me bull shit tell you talk to me i thought i thought i'd done a good job but oh no i understand that in cross words you have to be a real stickler about all the facts yeah you can't give a possibility of two different answers for a clue well i don't know something like that anyway i don't have a very entertaining story a defense if you will to um go into here but um no i think it's just something as simple as i think of sketches by their character names it's just that's how i think of it in my head so i think when i was constructing this with christina iverson the uh mastermind of all cross words um i was kind of along for the ride and i was we were deciding well should we say characters we say sketches and we decided to say the sketches and i think i just think of those sketches as church lady but yes technically speaking yes it's called church chat yeah but that i'm gonna be honest did not even cross my mind because she's one of my most beloved characters from us and i'll right and um i just always refer to that as church lady sketch oh my gosh did you see they did church lady i wouldn't say oh did you see they did church chat this is crazy anyway that's just how i think of the church lady it's not a very entertaining story technically yes set i messed up okay are you happy set i messed up um i think that's all i think there will be no further i will be taking no further questions on this that's good really controversial topic line in the sand yes and I'll crossword puzzle. But sidebar, I would like to do more crosswords. I'm gonna be very careful next time. But I really only came up with the actual, I said, I'll clues, I'd like to do one where I get to do more of the other clues and all that. All right, that's it guys. Carry on, I'll try to do better next time. Okay, bye. - Thank you for that, Jack. We love you. - Thank you, Jack. I have something, this is sort of in her defense or in my wife's, what's the offense? What's the opposite of defense? - Oh, interesting. - Which is that I was talking about this in the car with my wife and I gave her the clue and I said, so what would you put? Like, this is obvious. And she went, church lady. - Right. - And I went, no, it said, let me read it to you again, right again being like the sketch where the person says isn't that special. And she went, yeah, church lady. And I'm like, that's not the sketch, it's church shot. It says it in huge words up on the screen. - Yeah. - Opening title card. - And she says, welcome to church shot every time. - Yeah. - That's the opening. I will say in Dratch's defense, I do call it Debbie Downer, even though the sketch's full name is Debra Downer ruins, yet another family get together. - Oh, wow. - That's the technical name of the sketch. - Shots fired. - Does it say that? Does the Higgins voiceover say-- - Modern tone shots fired. - Like, does Debbie, I know you're joking, but does Debbie Downer have a title card? - No, it just starts. - No title cards. - Does it have a theme song? - Oh. - It goes, and along comes Debbie Downer, but then it might just say Debbie Downer, right? - I think it's Debbie Downer. - Doesn't it have a cold open, then a theme? - Yeah. - Then the sketch, yeah. - Yeah, it's like classic 80s SNL format. - Right. - But for all I knew, I knew wasn't what Seth said, but that it would say something else. But you're enjoying your day, something something or eight. And along comes Debbie Downer, right? - Yeah, great. - That's actually exactly right. - It would be amazing if it wasn't that, and you just fucking cracked. (laughing) I was like, good melody. - No, it wasn't that. That is like 20 times better than what it was. - Okay, Akiva for all the money, improvise the next few lines of the theme song. - Oh, but using the same melody. - Yeah. - Then along comes Debbie Downer, got some poop in your way. - Yep. - She knows what to say. - She's got a horn, and she knows how to honk it. - You do not win the money. (laughing) - I love you, and I love you, Moxie. - But you do in your way. - She knows just what to say. She's got a horn, and she knows how to honk it. That's all she's doing. I mean, I guess technically she's not honking the horn. - Do the guy with Downer? - I think it's more like if you're enjoying your day, she'll put some poop in your way. Just like, ultimately what she does is she brings you down. If you get some poop in your way, you're already down. - I would move, it doesn't need poop in there at all. But again, this is just if you're trying to win the money, not just if you're following your muse, which clearly keep us. - Listen. That's a Sunday morning, what are you gonna do? - Mm-hmm. - Hey, this is just a question. From a hold on, I swear to God, I got this fucking shit. Fucking gross. Send me fucking garbage somewhere. I got fuck fired. - Yeah. - Where were you flying in from? - Yeah, I had a, my fantasy football draft weekend in South Bend, Indiana. - Jail, do you, are you recording the Steelers game? - Yes. - Okay, I won't say anything. - Okay, great. - I figured you would be, I was like, you can't be recording a podcast right now. His beloved Steelers. - I know, I'm a very good person. - Or I'm a good podcaster. I don't know if I'm a good person. - I'd say you're just like a good worker and a good person. - They're one in the same, ask your name. - That's true. - Hey, this is one, which is the hired know. Somebody said, did you guys help write the colon blow sketch with Phil Hartman? That was years before you were there. - I don't know if I was even born. Just kidding, I watched. - But somebody said, how did they do those special effects of- - Oh. - There is a behind the scenes on that somewhere. - Oh, well, that'd be great. Somebody should check it out. - Yeah, obviously colon blow is like an all-time classic. I feel like that's a gym downy, am I wrong? - Certainly seems like a gym downy. - She might just be in. - And I believe first time I maybe even heard colon. - Yeah, I had to learn when that was. - Yeah. - I did not know anything about like fiber and cereal or breakfast or any of that stuff until that, commercial parody, but it still made me laugh so hard. - Your, somebody was very angry because your arm said there's nothing more American that screams freedom than yellow edition Red Bull. Now I think he was probably being a little sarcastic. - It's possible. - But this member Quaid Army wanted to set the record straight. Red Bull is an Austrian company, not an American company. I know this because I work for Red Bull, a company headquarters in Salzburg, Austria, where the locals are still traumatized by Richie Ainez Jr.'s offset antics. Incredible callback to Fred's character and the sound of music, which of course took place there. It makes sense that that's where it's from because their commercials are so weird. - That's exactly it. So those commercials get dubbed into English and that's why their fucking bizarre. - The first time I saw a Red Bull commercial was in Amsterdam, they would like show them before movies. - Yeah. And by the way, you can have weird commercials and I'll still use your products. - Yeah. - There was a span of three or four years when we were drinking them Red Bull and Vakas every night to try and not pass out. - Yeah. - Let's say we were a little on edge. - A little on edge. - Also, this Red Bull employee said that they think of us often because the Munich train station has a store called Yorma spelled with a Y. So what do they sell there? - No, no, no, probably Red Bull. - I hope so. - And Akiva, you think of them often because Munich is your favorite movie. - Yeah, I talk about it all the time. - Mm-hmm. I'm being told by Kevin that Colin Blow was written by Al Franken for the internet. - Oh, great. It's good to know. - So if that's the case, hats off Mr. Franken, hats off, sir. - This is just, we were talking about 90s movies and we're gonna go back and talk more about 90s movies, but someone reached out. What do you guys think about what changed in the SNL sketches to movie pipeline that exists soon in the 90s that no longer seems like a replica business model today? So many sketches of came movies in the 90s, seems like there hasn't been one since McGrubber. - I think just like what we were talking about, which is just there's just no comedy movie business anymore of this, the main reason. - Just a straightforward answer. - But you will notice that tons of SNL cast members, sometimes even during their time on the show now, have another show. - Right. - That's the new model. That is correct. - Right, no cast member of SNL back then, ever would have had another TV show. - Hell no. - That would have been insane. It started with Fred, right? Port Landia was the first. - Yeah, that was happening concurrently. - Yeah. - And produced by Lauren is the other way that it is able to happen. - Right. - And then Doc now. - Doc now. - Thrill with 80, right? Keenan. Keenan had his own television show while he was doing SNL. - I'm sure there's more that we're not remembering. - There was always the occasional cast member that would get a great movie offer, Schmegadun. - Yeah. - And get to go make that movie, a non-SNL movie during the show weeks. If they were senior enough and Lauren would let them like, skit out on like Sunday through Wednesday and then show up for the last couple of days. Like I remember Sidacus did that for hall pass. I know Bowen just did it for Wicked. That is sometimes double duty that could happen at the same time. - As mentioned, we were editing hot rod all during the season. - But I think Seth's answer is the really big main answer, which is just from last week looking at those 90s ones where there was 20 studio comedies. - Yeah. - That's how much of a business and hunger there was. So the moment something would pop at SNL with the success of Wayne's World, it was like, oh, that could be one. And even if you think of them as not successful, every one of them was profitable. - Yes. - The secondary markets with DVDs or VHS and then selling it to cable made every single one of these comedies profitable. So it was a no-brainer. They could green light them so easily because they knew they were gonna make money. - They also were not expensive compared to any other type of movie. - I'm looking at comedy movies released over the last year or two. And there's like, a lot of them are very funny and attempting to be funny, but they are hybrid genre. You know what I mean? - Right. - Like there's naked gun, shout out Keeve. - And happy Gilmore too. - But that wasn't even theaters, but yeah. - Yeah, but you know, there's SNL people in it and it's a comedy. - The Kiki Palmer Sizzle One that I'm blanking the name. I would put that as a real comedy in theaters. - Yeah. - And it felt like I'd buy gun era comedy. But without saying the names of things I don't consider comedies, the dink is a comedy. - Right. Again, straight to Apple. - Uh-huh. - Do we count Anaconda? - We do. - We do. - Okay. - Metacomedy but comedy. - Yeah. - One of them days, Kevin reminds me. - Yeah, one of them days. So pretty much like we got Netflix is still making some comedy movies. And then outside of that, it's mostly hybrid stuff. - I think that's about right. - And a lot of really fun, interesting movies. I'm not saying anything is bad about them. I'm just saying they're not how we would traditionally think of a pure comedy. - I think that's right. And so that's really, it's a short answer. - Mm-hmm. - And it's a little bit sad as well that we don't get to see SNL character movies because they are fun. Even the ones that I think had a maybe a patina on them of having not been successful. All of them have very fun things in there. - Ladies man, super star. I remember laughing very much at both of those. - Not at the Roxbury. I don't know how I need them hold up. But I just remember we would enjoy them at the time. - Did you guys enjoy the very good intro to last week's episode as well, which was a "You Arms World" to the theme of Wayne's World? - Oh no. - How did I miss that? - Yeah, how did I miss that? - Because it's "You Arms World" and you, I'm sorry to say, are just living in it. That's how it goes. Fellas. - Huh. - Should we talk about the Jack plaque? - Episode, sorry Jack. - Jack. - Plack? Sorry, I'm just fine. - Do you need to go to the dentist? - I'm just trying to, just trying to read comments. It's the same time I'll be here with you. - Yeah, just, we can just hold, you can just hold. (laughing) - Was it Zach Elvenackas or Jack Plack? Who hosted it? - It was Zach Cavity Gnakis. (laughing) - Zach Elvenackas hosted, we find his assistant. - I could've said Cavity Nackas, that would've been better. - Seth. - Yeah. - Just totally off topic. If you and me right now went to a place that had like, Banger Hot Wings, how many you think you could eat? - Banger Hot Wings, like because of the heat or because of the actual amount of-- - Delicious, like a delicious Hot Wings on their menu. - I could eat a easy dozen, right? - But like if the challenge was how many could you eat, what do you think you could get to? - I don't know, 50? - Oh my God. - Is that too many? - 50? - I don't know what this game is. - Did I mention their tarot dactyl wings? (laughing) - No. (laughing) You probably couldn't do one even as my guess. - Wait a second. You just asked me, Abberbo, of nothing. How many wings I could eat? - Yeah. - I said 12. Then you said no, if it was like a contest. I said 50. And then you dropped on me that it's tarot dactyl wings? - I thought it was implied that tarot dactyl wings. - We asked about the heat level. - What are we even talking about? - We're talking about the heat level. And you didn't want to clarify. They were tarot dactyl wings. - I guess I just don't know what hot wings means to you. - It means chicken wings. - To me, the assumption is tarot dactyl. - So in the tarot dactyl wing eating contest, what's the usual record? - 0.8, 0.8. - Don't I can even do a whole? - They're so big. Like it's so much meat, dude. It's so much meat. - It seems like the contest, it would be unsatisfying at the end when the announcement of who won is always sub one. - Well plus the rules, as you know, are that they can't be cooked. - Uncooked tarot dactyl wings. And they also don't round up. - That's why the records point eight. 'Cause they're big and uncooked. - So you're just eating flesh from a, I guess, live tarot dactyl that's been Jurassic Park grown? - Yeah, for sure, still alive. - Yeah. - That's another challenge. - Oh, you're eating it off the wing and they're alive. - And so they're getting hot sauce on a live tarot dactyl wing? - No, there's no sauce. - So what's the hot part? - We're just biting into a tarot dactyl. - It's a warm blooded, you know. Well actually, I don't think they are warm blooded. They're tarot dactyls? - No, they're probably tarot dactyls. - Sorry, your arms not here, so I'm trying to suck. (laughing) - Like fill in the gap and it'd be like frustrating and stupid. - Do you remember, can we watch the original Kings of Catchphrase comedy tour? - Yeah, I would love to. - This is Nangle, Christine Nangle and Bobby Moynihan. I think Paul Britton worked on it as well. It was delightful. It had a nice long run on the show and it was one of my favorite things. We've talked about it. It's a cast piece. Everybody gets a bite of the apple. - Yeah. - And it's a lot of fun. - This was the first one. Sorry, I know you were talking about it. - I mean, there's one thing in here that I still quit all the time to Paul Britton thing. - Yeah, I do too. Ooh, funky boy. - I wanna shout it out to my friends Nangle and Bobby. They came to my office and were like, "Will you do one?" And I was like, "I don't wanna do one." And they were like, "What if it's this one?" And I was like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll do that." - Oh yeah. - That's really fun. So I wanna start by thanking them for this. - This was basically making an observation about comedians who leaned on catchphrases. (audience cheering) - It's the original Kings of Catchphrase comedy tour. The four Kings of Catchphrase are back. And they're going absolutely crazy with David, Beef Jelly Winfield. - So my buddy, Jimmy said, "Hey, man, "you wanna go to the wife of house?" And I looked at him and was like, "Can I go to the house made from the wife of us?" - Beef, yeah. - Poisonin' for Goren. - Goren, funky boy, Barton. - I go to your Sonic restaurant. I order a plate of Dobrzejki. They tell me, "The washroom is that way." - Ooh, funky boy. (audience laughing) - Slapy, puppy. - Oh man, if a Dracula is chasing you, turn around and trip the mix. Slap him, hop him, wait, wait, wait, wait. And Pete Airhorn Shultz. (upbeat music) The Kings of Catchphrase. - So that's just Zach putting his microphone up to an Airhorn. And it's a really good use of what Zach would think is funny. And ultimately, when you had those stand-ups that came through that had really unique voices, it always worked best. I feel like we tried very hard to write a show that Zach would like and appreciate. And this is a great use of him. Also, Pete Shultz to this day. Still one of the headwriters of Weekend Update. This was an homage to him. Not that he's an Airhorn type guy. - Do you think Ries Thomas directed? - This one, do I think Ries Thomas directed? - Was it Jake? - I bet it's Jake. - Well, here's my news though. Is that Chrysler wrote me back and said he didn't do the Zach looks for a new assistant short. So then either Jake or maybe Solomon did the Zach one. - Well, hopefully by the time we do our second half later today, we'll know. All right, so we have our Kings of Catchphrase comedy for very well established beats. And then it's just gonna be a parade of an Golden Era cast members doing their catchphrase comedies. - Yeah, let's just say me and Seth get in there. - And they're Dustin of all your old favorite bits, like Eaton Duky. - Yeah, but come home. - And catch your wife, Eaton Duky. Talk about it. Put this Duky in my head. You did, you nasty ass bitch. - Beep. - Tell you what, don't. - Kick in the Johnson. - I don't know a lot with American women. I offer them a crescendo. They kick me straight in my yonson. - Ooh, funky boy. McDonald's breakfast. - I can't get an Eggie McMuffin because it's 10.30. Five. - Slap it, slap it, wait, wait. - And New York versus L.A. - No, no, no, no, no. - Freeze the Lord. - The Kings are back. - And this time they brought friends. - Barry the plumbing gentleman. - Not in my bake shop. - Mike insert joke here, Henry. - Idaho insert joke here. - Chip, I'm single, Fanny. - Yo, yeah, I'm single. - Chip, look, it's a little Dustin Diamond. It's a little-- - He's just a straight speech. - Robin Williams, maybe a little. But it's kind of straight screech. - Yeah, yeah, but it's 70s Robin Williams too. - Yeah. - Guys, I gotta go drive my parents to the airport. - Oh. - All right, we're gonna finish this and then we're gonna let Andy go and then I'll see you later. - Okay, I have texted the gang of usual suspects about these. - So Seth, my key, love you. - Love you. - Love your parents, your good son. - See you for part two. - You're a good son. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Tell them Seth and Andy love 'em. - We love 'em. - Yeah, we'll do. - So Seth, this character, Chip, so yeah, I'm single Fanny, is a repurpose of a character I did in my audition. - Oh. - Someone in his magic balloons. - Oh, wow. - And I tried to write it as a sketch, like my second week on the show is a live sketch that was actually, these guys never would have known about it. Similar to this sketch, not as a deaf jam or as just like an open mic night and a bunch of different types of vaguely hacky comics coming up and doing, and everyone in the cast, it was, you know, a character parade one so that I could get my whatever guy in his magic balloons and then he would tell jokes that would not have good punchlines and then he would very vigorously try to blow up a balloon and then let it go and it would fart away, 'cause he couldn't make balloon animals. He just would blow them up and then let them go. And it was very frenetic. But it was part of my audition, I believe. - Well, there you go. So this is a nice use of Chip. So yeah, I'm single Fanny, happy to see him. And we're gonna keep going. We had Fred. - Do you want me to tell you one joke from it? - Yeah. - He had a list. So I was on a date with this girl and she says, "You need to move out from with your mother." And I said, "Look, Mom, so I'm single." And then blow up a balloon. - So they did, they really took the heart of it with so I'm single. - Yeah, really nice. - And again, this meant they came to you and said, "Hey, we're looking for it and you just were so happy to like, dust, blow the dust off this second week's sketch. And this, your seventh year." - And then I'm sure crushed when they cut out everything, but the one line, but you know. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - But I probably had a really good show. - Yeah. - We'll look at that. - We'll look at it. - Bust in power! - Do I make you horny, baby? - Awesome powers. I mean, again, sometimes you just aren't doing any work at all. - Yeah. - Has a performer. - You don't need to. - It's premise plus outfit plus one line. - Now, would Boston powers be drinking a Budweiser? - Oh, it's good call. Probably should have been. - Maybe like a, what a past? - Yeah, I think it's okay. Again, what we're really looking at is just their like normal Greek beer. - Right, I know, but it reads as a bud. I mean, like, should it be a Dunkin' is my question. - Yeah. Should I have been having a Dunkin' Donuts? I think they want to maybe a little in ebriation. - Dr. Velociraptor! (screaming) - Well, so it's just Jay Farrow's doctor, Velociraptor. - And it exists. - A very, very adept use of probably Jay having a Velociraptor impression that nobody really had a home for. Now we have Addie News/Sweeney. This is Vanessa Bayer. Kind of what a Paula Poundstone type. - We're about to find out. - Addie News/Sweeney! - News/Sweeney! I'm crazy! (laughing) - Oh. And now. again this is why this sketch exists is to use impressions that otherwise you never could have done. Here's Jason Cedacus's White Bernie Mac. White Bernie Mac. God won't just turn my bitches. And of course fur coat Rhonda. Of course I can afford gas. Happy Elliott for Coronda. You know their catchphrases. The original Kings of Catchphrase to phrase the roof. Coming soon to bootleg DVD. Very fun. A very fun sketch and I do want to give a little extra tip of the cap to how funny a physical comedian Bobby Moynihan is. Yeah. Just the way he's moving around that whole sketch is really fun to me. So happy to be queen. Alright well that's our time. Well that's our show. I'll pick it up with the other news later. Yeah. You don't talk about anything else. Just me and you. What would you really a week later go with Ace Venture over Dumb and Dumber still. I mean I've talked about this before. We did we had a joke on Brooklyn about the inappropriate nature of the end of the adventure. I know we don't have to get in that I forgot. But if you're skipping over that. Yeah. I'm going just based on the impact it had on my life. Yeah. That's fun. Like I was at full Jim Carrey obsession fever pitch when Dumber Dumber came out. Yeah. Currently the same year. It's crazy. But like seeing Ace Venture that first time I remember being that in Billy Madison are on a short list for me of movies that when I saw them it like changed my perspective on everything. Right. Like I put Tommy Boy in there. I put Brain Candy in there. Pewdiepie's Big Adventure. Bill and Ted's is that for me. Bill and Ted's Money Python Holy Grail Wayne's World. Like these are all sweet spot movies right immediately. Kind of Space Balls and history of the world. List one for me. Uh-huh. Yes. The jerk. But the jerk I discovered were same later. Same. Even though it's now I would put it maybe above all of them. Right. Of just like whoa you can do that. Right. That's allowed. Like Sandler biting the dude's hand in Billy Madison. We sit down for dinner and I this guy can stay in my room and like starts biting his hand. Or like Jim Carey kicking the UPS box down the street in the opening credits of Ace Venture. Just right out of the gate. It's so psychedelic and psychotic and shooting on the premise of a movie. Yeah. Even existing or taking itself seriously in a way that is boring to me at that age especially. It was like a mind blow and and was like it felt so fucking punk and awesome to me. Wet hot is in that obviously. You're right. And it's also so great that both Dom and Dumber and Ace Venture the people behind the movies were like I think just we should definitely open with Jim doing something that only Jim can physically do. Yeah. And not overthink this. Yeah. Just let people know we are now living in this cartoon person's world. And it works. Like I was laughing hard just watching him fuck around. Yeah. Because part of it is you're like I can't believe they spent millions of dollars on this. Right. Like in a good way. You're so delighted that that exists in our world. It's apparently John Solomon did do Zach looks for a new assistant. So we'll check in with him. Shout out John Solomon. A tall drink of water. Oh real quick. Just because we're going to lose you later. Jack Black. Well you know what happened because we were in close contact throughout this. I then got on an airplane. I lost Wi-Fi for a while and you were real close. I used one hint. What was your last word that you needed to hint for? Dioxin. Yeah. It's a bummer. But I got every other word clean and I was so proud of myself. And then I was like I should have just waited longer and figured it out. Yeah. But that's right though. It's a tough one. I have had a pretty good week. Okay. Talk me through. Well Friday clean. Great. Thursday clean. Great. Wednesday clean. Great. And then you know that's three in a row. That's amazing. Monday was also clean. Yeah. So I'm just saying like you're good at this. I'm good at the bee. It just didn't line up for me on this particular pod day which you know if we had recorded a different day I could have been like dancing in the streets you know. At this point you should probably know that we are all kind of working with each other to do this on days where you haven't beat yet. Yeah. Like most of our scheduling staff is how desperate the three of us are to do this on days where you didn't clean clean be it. Yeah. That's absolutely right. If it was just me and you doing the pod. Yeah. Like how long till we turn on each other you know. I don't know if we would. I don't think we would. Like you would never start looking like a giant hot dog to me like a cartoon. We have to pose the photo from the there was a New Yorker article. I already forget what the New Yorker article is about but the art was like two halves of a grilled cheese sandwich. Oh yeah. And immediately maybe think of the hot rod grilled cheese sandwich fighting a taco. We have a fight in a taco which is also like one of the most delicious fights ever. Yeah. You want to be munching those. Keith and I and Client Solomon went to the New George Lucas museum in L.A. this week. Oh yeah. Tell me about it. Soft opening. It was pretty fucking amazing. How do you get an invite to the soft opening of the George Lucas museum? I don't pretend to know. A Kiva figured it all out and he told me I had to go because he thinks I'm in a spiral. So he was like just just play hookie and come. Oh that's great. So he just went for a couple hours. So he's like a bro looking out for a bro. Yeah. He's a sweetheart. That's great. And it was really great. So the art they have there is mind blowing especially like you know last 80 years of pop culture history and stuff. So what does tell us? Like what is exactly the George Lucas museum? It's like there's a section that's Star Wars stuff. Yeah. Like you can stand in front of R2D2 and C3PO and take a picture. You can see the original Millennium Falcon model which is like fucking awesome. And tons of other stuff. But then there's also like a huge collection of rock wells and like free to callo paintings. Oh my god. And Geiger paintings and like a whole like manga section and a bunch of original Sunday funnies. And like like I took pictures in front of like an original far side cartoon you know. And much to the light of my children there's a dogs playing poker. Right. One of their think they think that's like the funniest thing of all time. Yeah. But yeah it's it's I'm forgetting a million things. It's it's really special. I went to there's a comedy museum in Jamestown New York. Then they have a Jamestown comedy festival and I performed there this summer and they said hey we go on a tour of the museum while you're in town. And I did and it was incredible. And one of the things that made it so incredible is how much representation there is of people like you and other friends of mine. Like it's not to be at a museum of a thing you love and then see like oh everyone I know is here. Wait really? It's the best. It's a really great interactive museum. There's a very cool thing as well where you take an elevator down. You have to be like 18 and older to what's called the blue room. And it's just exhibits about filthy comedy. But genuinely like you know like all the breaks are off. Like it's a room where you are like oh this is a you can't come here if you were someone who was like prone to being offended easily. Right. Right. But I really highly recommended it was very very cool. It's mind-blowing to think that we're represented in any museum. No that's what I mean. You're kind of like hold up. This is a museum museum. Feels like it's for sure going to be a prank. Yeah. But it's not. It's great. So there you go. What happens when Keeve and Jormagon we start talking about museums. Yes we're talking about art. Because we care about the arts. I'm not talking about silence of the hams. No sir. We love the arts. Apologies. Mr. Shalame you Philistine. Yes. I'm sorry that we like ballet. I cared and I'm hung up on it. You're still to this day you you say ballet hasn't recovered. I don't think he was kidding at all. He should be held to his words. And he yes. And for that he should have no Oscar. He should have a wife. He Shalame not have it. I'm already supreme pretty fucking good though. That was a fight. He's a pretty good movie. He's good actor. He's really good. He's really good. I want to take nothing from nobody but I enjoyed it. All right buddy. I love you. Love you very much. I'm not going to say later Arnold but I maybe I'll say it and then they can throw it at the end. Yeah yeah do it. So whoever's better is second. Wait what are we what are we talking about here? We're deciding whoever is the better host. Oh I see. No it's going to be chronological. So if you want to say whoever's better is second that's going to work out real good for you. Yeah. Yeah I just I just think that you want to save it for the second half who is better because you want to keep people engaged. All right. Hi guys. Hi. So this is part two and we got a urine back. Thank God. And we lost Andy and Kevin I you know we're kind of stalwarts but Keith. Yeah. Do you want to dial in on something? The fact that you drove your parents to the airport. Are you always the kind of guy that drives your parents to the airport? No not every time. For instance if we had scheduled this and had decided we were doing it I would have told them oh my god I'm so sorry I'll put you in an Uber or a lift and I can't do it, but because I'm sorry Seth is that way you wanted the second half to be like when I join You want to talk about driving to the airport. Well, that's what I did since the last one So this is really following up is ticking on my time guys. I don't want to talk about this People don't want to hear about this. They want to hear of me talking and us talking about the short Let's get into it I think people get a lot of joy on this podcast for how princely our behavior can be at times and this was full Prince behavior It is very true, you're really Burbank airport for those that don't live around here. It's help Burbank. Wait it helps. Yeah, that helps You're no prince L.A.X is too much to ask of any loved one or friend or acquaintance It has to be a transaction in my head. I was like Jesus. No, he loves his parents if you drove him to L.A.X I'm so knowing it's personal. They listen to the pod so they'll hear this eventually Yeah, if they know if they landed L.A.X. They have to pay for a lift or whatever got it Okay, yeah, that's Burbank totally understood so to bring Andy into this again and exactly what we're talking about It was in me and Akiva's wedding speech to Andy where I started pretending to cry and talking about how much better his wife was as a person than him in the wedding speech That we were giving to him and I was setting like Andy is not the kind of guy who would ever drive you to The airport that is sure and then after that he was so I don't know mortified's right word He's never mortified, but he was so annoyed that it was on the record that he had never driven any of the or port that he Drummed L.A.X. The real airport and then and then he the whole time was like there. I did it I did it really I was like well, you got in again I've been defeating the purpose. I believe I have a very good reputation as a friend I feel like it may be the thing I'm best at in the world, and I wouldn't drive anybody to the airport ever Yeah, but you would pick up a guy from a vasectomy there, right 100% it's a different face There it is it's asking for a different level of favor because it's wasting both of your time It's taking someone to do something they don't want to do either. Yeah, I don't know. There's something about it But Burbank is fine Burbank is nice. Whereas a vasectomy is something that I want to do and Seth wants to do by the way I think it's totally different from your flying out of a smaller airport. Yeah totally hold everything and where you're not going to be fighting traffic You're just having a 20-minute drive to a place. There is something else relevant. So we're driving there and My mom was like who was on the podcast because she knew I was on this till like three minutes before we got in the car I got off the podcast. I told them that yarn wasn't there and she was like why not and I'm like it's sent By the way, you're we were not mean about it. You're not you'll see the credit, but I was said some that now, you know I'm repeating myself from earlier, but that it's a Sunday It's commendable to put your phone down to be with your family truly, but also there's the other half Which is that we all have kids and we're all just trying to organize something who'd been nice to have heard from your Oh, I thought we had made a decision, but I know, but it didn't have Andy on that decision. It was only three of us Yeah, but she was like, oh do you remember in high school? You used to get kind of she used to or annoyed. I think that's a little strong because your would get grounded every other weekend Because it would you told me it was a predictable pattern, which was that there'd be a curfew set for him by his mom He'd break the curfew and then he'd be grounded then the next weekend He'd allowed to go out again. There'd be a curfew He'd break the curfew and then he'd be grounded and then you would be like annoyed Obviously in a friendship way of like so every other weekend you don't get to come out with us Like what is this plan? Like I really was grounded a lot I was like this is very predictable and then every other Saturday we're like all right. Let's get in the car And you're like can't and you're like we'll never know why look like like you know I was flooding back to me that this happened. I think the most predictable part to me looking back Because that yarn would one disobey the rules and two never get any better getting away with it Well, in a way you guys are the the school arms of the group You know what I'm just like living fancy free a high on the hog, you know what I mean and then getting around it by the fucking You win one week fancy free. Yep two weeks a foot jail. I think you were also the only one with a curfew My mom was very good at like Pretending like I wasn't doing things like she had a very weirdly in 1950s like like at one point I remember like she was like I don't think Aces had sex and I was like oh my god This lady is out of it like yeah She went very nicely or I don't know what it is it seems nice But she would wait up for you, but I remember we'd get home at like because I'd sometimes be spending the night I'm talking senior year where I'd be spending night at your house. Yeah, because my parents lived in a different town at this point and It'd be like two three a.m. Sometimes when we would get home and she'd be awake I did not like it like did you think like when that happened and we walked in together Probably a little drunk. Let's be honest of course, and and she did you find it? You're like I wasn't she wanted to talk to you She'd just be like oh good. You're home. Good night. Yeah, she was staying up with worry Yeah, and to make sure you got home okay, and we have cell phones So she just was just laying there like who knows what's happening out there I don't she saw the two of us leave the house, right to Basically of the same person like two 17 year old. Yeah, like we looked identical and like what real miss shift We're gonna get up to you should ask why she was staying up like what she worried my parents definitely were not doing that But also I just noticed it. I don't know if I thought it was really sweet. I wish I wish I had that viewpoint I was always annoyed by it Our role is you had to go home you had to tap our dad go into his bedroom tap him on the shoulder and say I'm home I could see myself doing that version Seth Yeah, my kids to just be like I want to know you got home Don't just don't let me wake up at five. His thing was I don't want to wake up at two in the morning And then have to go check your room exactly and just wake up in the morning going. Oh shit Did they never come home last night. That's great. You want a little check it great way to do it. I wish I had worked that out with her Yeah, um, I like Asa is like you're like head sex Asa is sex Also speaking of Asa in his popularity I met two different girls on the same day who introduced Themself to me as Asa's girlfriend, and I was like, oh, that's a problem the two of you guys got done They knew your wires checked. He also my brother had a competition with himself to see how many like winter Formals and balls and like you know like senior proms that he could get invited to around the Bay Area And he went to 13 I think it might have been more than that. That's really good. Yeah, that's really really good popular guy Um, I do want to say it's really great keep that your parents listen to the podcast I would love to tell you my parents listen to this podcast But I do another podcast where the other host is my brother, and so uh, this one never had a chance No, my dad, which is the most my dad review he gave of the early days of this pot He goes, you know, I would never listen to it if you weren't on it. I'm like. Okay. I guess, but I enjoy it I'm like, I don't know why then the preamble. Like no shit You wouldn't listen to the fucking Lonely Island podcast. I'm like yeah It's good to know that but then you double if you were like well, then I'm gonna make one just for you daddy. Yeah, here's your two boys He's like I got too much comedy bang bang to listen to I'm like, you know, nobody let thought you were listening to I got too much awkwardment stuff to catch up on What would you guys cover by the way? Are you guys deep into the Zach? Zach? Oh, no, yeah, none of us worked on it. The biggest mystery on it is Why it says SNL digital short at the top when we were so strict about it? It didn't actually have the the title I wonder if I got added Solomon directed it and he told me to check dress Kevin could you check dress and just see if it's on there for dress? He's like maybe Andy helped in some way, but that still wouldn't be enough. It's it is surprising. Yeah Oh no, Kevin says it is on dress but hold on I have one thing before we do this short But again for everybody we yet just have nothing to do with it. So it's weird to just it's fun to highlight a random sketch But here we go. So here's something I want to play for Seth Okay, and see if he can guess the full context of it when I play for you This is a 20 second clip that I found in my iTunes and played for Andy in your few days ago. Okay. Um, it's from 2016 Okay, so I didn't just drop in that with no context your arm to Seth and I want Seth to try to tell me what he just heard Pick it apart Seth. How did you think that came about and if you need to hear it again? Just let me know all right Well, so it's a it's an introduction to a fresh air. Yes, well Terry Not a podcast, but a forerunner of podcasts sure a long-run NPR show But we're modeling ourselves off of like this American life was a podcast before we had podcasts So Terry gross why you guys did that intro for Terry gross is That's impenetrable to me Well said yeah, and that's also funk master flex. Yeah, probably the most famous New York DJ of all time, right? But that's him's doing it. Yeah, okay, and he's referencing an album that was very a seminal for us In high school called 60 minutes of funk that he put it in the album. He made that was a mixtape His mixtape's got so popular and his mixes on the radio that they I think it was loud record, but I'm not 100% gave him a record deal where it was like a full CD vinyl you could buy that was a DJ mix of Cool songs right with him yelling over them because that was he was like the first of that as far as I know I don't know I think the best one is the chic ones remix with the Wu Tang beat on - That is pretty, it still sticks to my brain as one of the best things on there. But what happened was, and this happened actually a bunch of when we were doing radio step, when we would go around the country and be promoting like an album or a movie or whatever. I would always want to bring little drops and things to like liven up our inner view. - For those of you that don't know what a drop is, it's like those, but it's also when you're listening to any radio station and it's like, hey, what's up? This is usher, you're listening to 106.5, the beat or whatever it is. - Yeah, or there's like the ones that are actually like four, you know, clear radio channels or whatever, like where it's always the same guy around the country who's doing like 106.1 KM and you're like whatever. Just when they need to station ID 'cause they're on the FCC, they're on the airwaves and every 15 minutes they need to station ID. So they have various people doing it. - So we made a bunch of drops for different radio stations that we had been on just to annoy them and we can get more into that one. - The best one that we ever did was pitting two shock jocs against each other. - Yeah, we got to find those. That was on K-Rock, wasn't it? - I can't remember. - I think it was LA's K-Rock where we did a series of them talking shit to each other, even though it was just us every time. - Yeah. - Like the Scoosh. - Like there's something like that. - Yeah, like the Scoosh is from-- - The Scoosh thinks so. - And then what would you use these for? It was like if it was Timmy and the Scoosh, let's say, those are fake names, but like doing morning show that was on K-Rock. - The most popular like rock channel in LA, like famous, and we went on there, and every few minutes we'd be like, "All right, can we play another drop?" And it'd be like, "Timmy thinks the Scoosh sucks." But he won't tell 'em 'cause they have to work together. So you know, one of five point three, K-Rock. - It's dirt off, and it's dirt off subtle, where it'd be like, it's to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to - And I did the fresh air one to surprise these guys. Like they didn't even know what this was gonna be. - And what did you use it for? You baited it for them and then did you ever-- - No, we were on fresh air with Terry Gross. She was interviewing us. - Oh God. - Yeah, and so to surprise these guys. - And Yorm's like, oh, we made you a drop. - Oh my God. - And the way it actually came about, Keith, was I was sitting with my friend, Jake, who we talked about on the pod. He's really funny, dude. And we were talking about, I was like, I'll be really fun to make a drop for Terry Gross. Like a really inappropriate hip-hop, he kind of dropped. So I made it super fast on my computer. And then within the span of like 20 minutes, I called our buddy, Peter Rosenberg, who was on Hot 97, he knows Flunk Flex. And I was like, hey, can you get him to do this part just saying like 60 minutes of point questions with Terry Gross. And I think Jake actually came up with that word phrase. And then within like 15, 20 minutes, we had it back. And I was like, look at this. And Flunk Flex is on this shit. - It's incredible. It's so funny, too, with how much we love Flunk Flex and listen to our whole lives, that was the use, that it's not on one of our albums or something. - Yeah. - Like, Flunk Flex got the fact that was just for an audience that zero people in her audience. Like, she was also very confused. Like, she was like, okay. And we were like, you could play that whenever you want. Like, you have a rock on it. Who are you interviewing tomorrow? Put that in there. - And then just drop it in the middle of their answer. - So it's a drop. I mean, the name describes the action. You just drop it in. That's why it's called a drop. - I did a live show with her, a live taping and fresher in Philly, which is her hometown. In a big room. It was a fundraiser show. And I think it was probably like 2,000 people. And she went out first 'cause she was introducing me as the person she was interviewing, you know? And the only problem was like, she went out and it was like Elvis had walked on stage. That place rocked to the rafters with excitement for people, for the kind of people who donate money to public radio in Philly. We're fucking losing their mind, seeing her purse. - I mean, it's, she's, and then they introduced me and it was just a perfectly like appropriate reaction to me, but like fraction of what she had just got. And I was like, you can't do that here, Terry. - You fucked me. - That's so funny 'cause she's so mild, man. - I'm so impressed to meet her in person because she famously does almost all of her fresh air interviews remotely. - Yeah. - One of the original remotes, pre-internet remote, 'cause they had those ISDN, whatever, connect, you know, that's yeah, but pre- - You would like go to a MPR studio and like put on cans and just start talking. - And then you just hear her voice. - And then you immediately start talking like her. - Yes. - 'Cause she's, well that's the delicious dish, right? - That's a great question. - I guess Dick and a box came up because. - But that is true. We were in LA and we all went to Culver City's MPR and she was, where did she always do it from Philadelphia or somewhere? - Yeah. - I was in New York actually when we didn't. - Oh, were you? So even we weren't in the show. - Yeah, we were like, there you go. - But it was so present, you really feel like you're in the same room with her, it's list. - Oh, it's amazing. Hey, Yorm, Silence of the Ham. Was that a movie you'd seen or you just read it off the list when we were talking about those movies? - Read it off the list. I was lying. - I was just being fun. - Would you be surprised to know who played the lead in Silence of the Ham? - Nick Cage. - Billy Zane. - Oh, really? - Billy Zane. - Played a man named Joe D Foster. (laughs) - Great. - Great stuff, gotta see it. - We watched the trailer earlier. - It wasn't Kevin in the bean or was it? I know that's the most famous K-Rock morning DJs. - Oh, maybe it wasn't. - I don't feel like it was Kevin. - His scooch, isn't that from the Seymour Butts? - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Mato Butts. - Yeah, yeah. - Let's get somebody in the scooter. - We're just referencing ourselves. - Yeah, who was it? Was it Kevin and Bean? They're so famous though, I feel he wasn't though. - Here's a question for Q and A question, since he came up earlier in the pod. Y'all mentioned Asa, created this from Jason. Y'all mentioned Asa created a beat for Mother Lever. Does Asa not pay him for that? How does the whole process work? I get record labels definitely would have, but this is different, right? Also, if it were to have one, Emmy Grammy, MTV Music Video, or would he get credit? He definitely got an Emmy, right? - Yeah, he won the Emmy for Dick and Box. - Yeah, but it is scary enough though, because it was a very last minute. He had worked on it and he totally deserved credit for what he did. He did a bunch of work. But it comes down to you just filling out a form. And it was like a last minute, like, oh, oh shit, we should put Asa on. And then-- - Oh, it's scary how close he came to not getting credit. - Yeah, just because we're filling out shit, and it's like it's the last minute. - Oh yeah, no. - Certainly in the process of when you're working on an Asa and I'll sketch, like the reality that you could make a, I don't know, clerical error that would cause somebody credit in perpetuity. - Yeah. - Because they are very, it's very hard to retroactively plug credit in for those things. - And there is something about being on the show that does, it does feel very insular. And so you did feel always a little strange about having outside help, because they have an amazing music department there too. Like, at least it was fucking incredible. She'd done a bunch of work on the song too. So in a way, just also 'cause we're young, it's our, we're very early on in the show. So we, it always felt a little strange, including people from outside. But to answer the question, yes, you got paid for your work. I'm sure you got very, I think he's talked about this, like I think he's got, got like $8 enough, like a handshake. - It was not much. - All right, you all right. Here's what I've found so far, ready? I don't know which one this is. (upbeat music) ♪ Kevin Bean ♪ ♪ New Kevin Bean theme ♪ ♪ By the lonely island ♪ ♪ They're gonna play it every day from now on ♪ ♪ Contractually bound ♪ ♪ To play it every day ♪ ♪ And they will get sued if they don't ♪ - P.S. goes to the watch. - Why were we there for 20, oh, it must have been further. - Okay, so that was a different one that we mentioned. - We were just going around the country. - So when you brought this to Kevin and Bean, - But that's not the one we were even talking about, we must have done, - But did you play that in front of Kevin and Bean? - Yeah, and they didn't know what we were about to play. And then we just said, we made a new theme song for you. - This is all your special stuff. - What else do you have there? This is what great stuff. - This is me just having searched the word Kevin. - Oh, okay, gotcha. - Yeah, what pisses me off, honestly, after hearing that keep is I don't think that they played it even the next day. - Yeah, that's so weird, 'cause you said they were contractually obligated. - It's all in the fucking song. - There's no confusion about that. I literally legitimately, I don't think that they were played it again. - I have a question. When we did the episode about Hot Rod, the two part, or did we ever play the cool Bean Revex? - Nothing, we ever played it, we maybe talked about. - Do you have the uncensored version? - I have something, you wanna play it for one second here? - Yeah, what is this? - The little T up here. This was a remix that we made for the cool Bean. - Oh, yeah, okay. - So, cool beans. - Cool beans. - This might be unmastered, or whatever, I don't know. - Cool beans, cool beans. - Cool beans. - Cool beans. - Cool beans. Cool beans, cool beans! (upbeat music) - So it's really using all the real ones from the movie. There was thousands of them. There's like, I think we ran out of mag on both of us. (upbeat music) Jacqueline. (upbeat music) - Cool. - Cool beans in the face for the cow in my waist. I pointed at your face if you really wanna take six shots for no chase and they'd my face and get your king crown around with the ace. A blast mass off in the seven doos cutting. Me and my buddy situations get ugly. Just wanna plug me when gas is on. Can't hit what they can't see. My mask be on. (upbeat music) - Okay, what happened at the end? - Wildly inappropriate. - Who joined us? - Well, I don't know if Beela quite understood what cool beans we are. - We are cool beans to him, but we'll take it. - Yeah, I think he thought we were like the group called cool beans. Like, he didn't explain a lot. - And he hangs with us. - There's like, go hard, go real hard. - Which I appreciate. - What did you say to him? What was the instruction? - What was your prompt? - Well, you know, it was me, so I was probably, I would say it was probably a little less clear than Keith may have written. I was like, "Beest gangster as you possibly could be. "Just go super hard. "Mention cool beans." (laughing) - Yeah. - And I don't know. And I was like, "This is for a ride. "Like, this is this movie." You know, I was like, "It was very. " - Yeah, he hadn't seen the movie or anything. It was just, just do a good verse. It didn't have any specificity. - Yeah, and that's sort of what we wanted to do. - It is a good verse. I love it. I love it. - Oh, it's fucking, it's sick. - And so what was in the perfect world what use would that have? - It was on the soundtrack. - Okay. - It was legitimately on the soundtrack. That's mostly songs from Europe, obviously, the band Europe, because they're 90% of the soundtrack. But it has the Queen's of the Stone Age song they did for the movie too, under the pseudonym "Gown." - Yeah. - And then, so we knew it would have little clips from the movie and various songs. So there was a place where-- - It was an extracredit thing that we were doing while we were in "Soundmicks" for "Hot Rod." Because "Soundmicks" takes a trimmer's amount of time, like you're giving notes, you're occasionally coming in and out to let the sound mixers do their things so you're not slung down with notes. And while we were doing that, I was simultaneously like, off of the soundtrack, let's do this cool "Bean's Remix," so I made that beat. And then, was sort of, remember, when we were "Soundmicks" and Keith, like, trying to facilitate getting money to be legit, like in the bay. And I was, remember, he was going to Drew's studio, Drew Campbell, who we talk about a lot on the bottom, made beats for "Bash Brothers" and all throughout, like I've done that shit that we've made throughout this. And my dad had to bring like a bag of money to Drew's, and this is my father, you know, Tony Ticoni, who has new play coming out of "Public Theater" right now that he directed, called "How Shakespeare Saved My Life." But making Tony Ticoni go and drop off a bag of money to be legit at a studio in Oakland, was just so comically wonderful. I've really, really appreciated it. - Did Tony have his own bag of money, or did you have to-- - No, I'm in a hurry to the 80s. - You're like, "Hey, you know my money bag?" Well, it's time to use it. - Dad, I'll get you back. I'll get you back. - Again, this is, sometimes we're talking about things and the divergence, that we ended up on a podcast together considering our very divergent beginnings. (laughing) - It's wonderful. - That a boy from "The New Hampshire Suburbs" could find his way into three albums from the bay. (laughing) - Can you imagine how my dad felt? Just like, "What's happening?" Just get in the car, go to the bay. - Why can't you write him a check? You're like, "Cause we won't record the verse for a check, dad." - Because a check is not money. - He wants to see the cash and he wants to count it and then put in his pocket and then he'll record. - Anyway, that was, we were talking about Ace Again paid and then obviously everybody's getting paid. That's the thing about the podcast. Most people who come up, if they did something good, they got paid for it. - Yes. - Not much. - Not a lot. - Yeah, just not a lot. They got paid enough. They're not allowed to complain later. - Right. - Wait, somebody said, "Which is interesting." And I feel like it's a mistake to show this with Andy, but maybe I missed it somewhere along the way. This is from Patricia. Are you familiar with the 1970s made for TV movie called "Bad Ronald?" It's like a combination of Declan and Shy Rani. - No. - All right. I mean, I will say just based on what I'm seeing. - Oh. - Hello. - I'm gonna go ahead and guarantee that Andy hasn't seen this. - I think what happens, as I understand it, from the little work I did, guys, is that "Bad Ronald" is a movie about a kid whose family maybe dies and they don't know he's in the house. And so he stays in the house and a new family moves in. And he's like, he's a little sneak. - Oh, Ronald, you should know better. - But he's traumatized. - You should know better. - I'll give him a lot of slack. - Bad Ronald. - If they're looking to do a remake of "Bad Ronald," I think we got our guy. - People love "Bad Ronald" nowadays. - Although it's weird, this is where I look at "Bad Ronald." I'm like, Andy could still play him. And I forget that Andy is no longer the age of young "Bad Ronald." - No, I think Andy would be "Dabney Coleman," though. He might be the "Dabney" like doing sit-ups and drinking beer. - Yeah, drinking beer. "Bad Ronald" is a 1974 made for television psychological thriller about a teenager accidentally kills a neighbor girl and hides inside the walls of his own house. - Oh. - So they just think he's run away 'cause he's a wanted murderer. - Yeah. - And now he's just hiding in the walls. - Oh, Ronald. - But then I think another family moves in. It's basically early parasite. - Yes. It's parasite. That's what they watched. - Do you guys ever listened to the "Clippee Podcasts" at all? - No sir, you know I don't. - There's one called "Radio Rental" that I'm pretty obsessed with. Early days it was "Rain Wilson" and it's like, "Video Story Clerk." It's sort of moved on to other comics, but he sort of plugs that he's gonna play you a tape. And then the tape comes in and it's a real story. And it'll just be like, "Let's put in a VHS tape." And then you just hear, it was 1984 and we were driving to the woods. And you're like, "Oh God, oh no, it's gonna happen to the woods." And it's really legitimate. - Just people selling like spooky short stories. - There's some really scary ones. And then there's like ones where it's like a. - And then it turned out that person was a murderer later that I almost got killed by. - You guys were too easily spooked for that kind of thing. - No, yeah, I can't do that. - He had a shake of his head hardcore, no, like that. - My brother got me into it. - And so now I got obsessed. - Should we watch Zack finds a new assistant? - We forgot, yeah, but also this is too late 'cause Andy's not here anymore, but he did the teenager that just woke up on update. - Oh yeah, well, that guy's a real bad Ronald. - That guy, he really is like exactly bad Ronald minus the murder. Okay, so here we go. - Wait, okay, so we're gonna preface this by saying none of us were involved in this short, and we're gonna tell you about that. - Yeah, we're just gonna watch it. - We're gonna watch a sketch just for fun. - Right, the only information I have is from Solomon. He couldn't remember anything, except for that yes, he did direct it. It was Zack's idea, and that Zack wanted his office to have a Lauren's office kind of vibe, kind of look like Lauren's office. - Sure. - You'll see that he has like posters on the walls from his own work and stuff. What year was this? - This episode is the Zack Galafanakis episode from March 12th, 2011. - Okay. - I don't know what Andy was doing this episode, but he was not doing this, and then me and you are not there still. - So there you go. What I wanna know is did I do those AT&T commercials before or after this, 'cause I'm gonna feel like I ripped this? - Was Andy still at SNL, and I'm still technically at SNL, I'm just on paternity leave while you were making those ads? I feel like that was a year or two later. - I think it was. - Yeah, all right, ready? - All right, let's take a look, see. - So there's the short logo, surprisingly. (audience applauding) It's called Zack Looks for a new assistant. - Do you currently have a job? - Well, at school I do. My job was floor sweeper, but I don't do it. So it's like, you don't have any job. Which is actually kind of fun. I don't like doing my job. Most jobs are boring. - Kind of music, do you like it? (paper rustling) - But I have to say, I do like Usher. - Usher is Justin Bieber's dad, right? (audience laughing) - So friends? - That's not Justin Bieber's dad? - No, 'cause they're from two different countries, actually. - Oh, it's good that you know this kind of stuff 'cause this is exactly what I'm out of the loop about. - They're not really related to each other. Like, they're not cousins or not brothers. - Man, you sure do know a lot about Bieber. - I like this, I like this a lot. (audience laughing) Your feet never smell? - Sometimes, like once in a while. - Okay, so Dean, when do your feet smell? - For like. - Like a week and a half and then it goes away and then. - A week and a half and then it goes away. (laughing) - He's very good. - Hello? - He's? - Yeah. - I'm just still out of pressure right now because he's just busy. - He's talking into a stapler. (laughing) - I want you to try and read this. - Does this kind of. - These are all different cues. - Laugh. (laughing) - Funny. (laughing) - Funny. (laughing) - La, funny. (laughing) Kind of funny. (laughing) - That's great. - Live from New York and Saturday night. - What? - Are you doing? (laughing) - Okay, I'm just acting. (laughing) (laughing) Listen, the entertainment business is a rough business. - Okay. - Well, what kind of ideas do you have to get me happy again? - Say that like I look weird and you look perfect if you look like crying. - It's okay. I'm gonna cry and then I want you to tell me that I look perfect. - You don't need to cry, you look perfect and I look bad. (laughing) - Everybody likes your beard. You look handsome, everybody likes you. - Yeah? - And they like your hair so much. - Thank you. - And they think you're so great. - I think you, I think you got it. (laughing) - Cute. - Oh my God, it's very winning. - It's a very wonderful little thing. - Yeah, adorable. - Nobody is good at being Zach. He's very good at being Zach. - Yeah, it's a good thing he's Zach. - He's managing to be cold and warm to children at the same time. - It's wonderful, he's really, really good. I do really actually want to know how they made it because I did spend so much time doing the exact same thing with those Beck Bennett commercials. - Yeah, well, call John and see if he picks up his phone. Yeah, I don't know why he can think of anything. Yeah, you want to know how much they gave the kids funny things to say and how much they just asked questions. - So there are various people that I won't name drop on here that are employees at the show who's those were their kids. - Yes. - Well, I will tell you guys and Keyboard, you know this, but when we, so we made all these AT&T commercials with Beck Bennett and it was just him in a suit with four kids. It was always four kids and he was just saying, "What's better, bigger is smaller." And they would go, "Bigger, why bigger?" And then some of them were scripted. We would always do like a scripted one. And then we would just start improving and then just having them make stuff up and talk for like 45 minutes. And then we would make them make sense retroactively. Like they'd start doing jokes. A kid would tell, "The weirdest fucking joke ever." And then we'd stop and then I'd go up to Beck and we'd think of the edit in our heads and then we would retroactively make it make sense so that he would say something that would trigger what you just heard to make into some kind of comprehensible sense. And we would hire like ringer kids. Like these are all feel like pretty ringery kids. I'm just like, you know they're gonna say something weird. They're good at talking and they're not uncomfortable. And then we started to like just do a tremendous amount of them during the day 'cause they wanted to have be like, "Well, how about four kids?" And they'll shoot all day, like for five hours and you're like, "Kids can't do that for more than half." Like you get 40 minutes out of a kid and you're like, "That's amazing." And so we would hire four kids. One of them would be a ringer. Three of them would be really good at sitting still. And then we would see if we were 45 minutes and then we'd get another group in. And then we made hundreds of spots that could have been used. We did this for like a year. - Yeah, they were on a lot the ones they used. - I mean, the best one that I'll just post of the pod here 'cause might as well at this point was with this future song called You Deserve It. - Yeah, it was his first great song. - His first semi breakthrough song. - And so we shot something around these commercials that at one point I was like, "I'm gonna do one where put all the cameras into slow motion and I'm gonna have all the kids start saying You Deserve." And then we said, "I sort of wrote this spot." And people from AT&T were like, "What are you doing?" I was like, "Just let me do this, let me do this." So then he'd be like, "I'm thinking about getting a car." Like what kind of car? You think I should get a fast car slow car? Like, "Oh fast car, why?" Because man, you deserve it. And then they all just start singing the future song. You deserve it with no music. And then it kicks into the music. And then they start, it becomes like a music video for like 15 seconds. And then it's out. And then Beck says, "You're right, I do deserve it." And they made the spot. And it was fucking great. And they sent it to future. And future was all in. He loved it. It was before, he was like really, really big. And I was like, "You guys are from the AT&T's in Atlanta." Like you gotta fucking do this. This is gonna be so groundbreaking. This is way ahead of, but they were like, it breaks the fourth wall. We don't know how to do it. - Just thinking about the math. The whole thing, you guys are blowing it. - Yeah. - It was so great. So I'll post it, but I'm still upset. And then future posted to his Instagram at one point. - That's awesome. - It's a very nice piece. It's a very nice, not quite a digital short. - It's not the logo, so I guess it counts, but that is a mystery. - You've got the logo, it is. - Yeah, it's charming. - It's charming. - Zach Galvanakis is, he's as fucking charming as he is funny. And very high scores in both. - Good job, Zach. - Oh, by the way, thanks to Seth McFarland for tags last week. Great. - So he's happy to help. - I'll say. I don't know if that's true. - I'm sorry, we're happy he helped. I am happy he helped. All right, love you guys. - Love you too, Seth. - Later Arnold. - In the future. - Later Quads. - Later Skater. - Hey, what's up? This is Tony Hawk, Pro Skater, saying. - Later Quads.