Zac Amico - Halloween Party 2026 - Episode 962

"It's everywhere I go. I can't escape it. Ads. Ads everywhere. Trying to sell me something new every day. But it's not the product that's the problem. It's the time. Time. Time. Time. Time. Time. I'll never get back. I'm not crazy. I've done the math. By the time you die, you will have spent an entire year and a half just watching ads. They stole my time. Now I'm going to have my revenge. We have to end this broken system haunted by the remnants of what could have been. But as my plan is coming together, I spotted it. A slightly cheaper alternative to building a time machine to end capitalism. Alright guys, let's take a quick moment and talk about the brand new merch that we have available at skanksmerch.com. You've been asking for hats and we've got three new styles on the site, including the three-for-life hat and the classic Legion hat plus four new mugs. And all of our classic shirts and hoodies are back in stock as well. Order yours today to get your gear in time for skank fists. And for the month of October for every 50 bucks you spend on the site, we're going to throw in a free sticker of one of your favorite designs. Head over to skanksmerch.com right now and wrap the show you love. Welcome to your favorite podcast everybody to my right as always brother love the great Steve Ren is easy. You know what you love it. To my left, the Puerto Rican rattlesnake, Lewis, Jay, Mean Jean, Okrlin, Gomez. Oh yeah brother, dig it. I only know one impression for that era. This is your time to use your white voice dude. You can go I am I am I am mean Jean overland. There's always going to be a little Lewis in it. And I of course, I'm big J. Okr sin the mouth of the South Jimmy hard. Welcome to the Legion of skanks. Happy Halloween. It's too bad. It only does two things. Yeah, you get talking it or this. All right. Well, we'll be using that a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, probably. That's happening a lot. This will probably live on the show from now on. This sort of megaphone. Yeah, I got no makeup on. Yeah, the sun came back. It was in the sun for three hours yesterday. It was in the sun a while yesterday. I also got a little banged up. You notice right there. What happens if you said you fell yesterday. Yeah, I fell. No, I didn't fall. I hit my head into my wife's car trunk. I hope you can't hit her. Yeah, I was like, fuck no. I was I was I tried to keep up with college kids drinking last night. And it did not go well for me. Well, I try to get pussy. Do tonight might be the night with Tina. Yeah, Steve was raped by the Cornell 7. I think I was I had all seven of them in me at one time. Seven inputs. But you were calling for it. Yeah. Is this all you could boys got? Yeah. I drank a lot. I lost my phone. I lost my dignity. And and I'm never drinking again. You lost your phone. Yeah, it's gone. If I lose my phone, I'm assuming my life is over. I think it might be. I have to get on a plane tomorrow. But under under my underage drinking with your children and their friends until you lose all your shit. Is maybe a wake up call. Maybe don't drink again. I don't know. I want you to drink. I know. I was trying. I said to myself, stay cool, dude. Stay in the pocket. You should never be there. They're not supposed to drink yet. I know. You were like, you pussy. You're still standing up. I always pretend like I don't. Like it's like, you know, like I don't know. And I'm not you know, you do what you want to do. I'll just keep it. But last night I was like having shots back then. Yeah, it was bad last night, dude. It was bad. But yeah, you learn lessons. You made it today, my friend. That's all that matters. And you look, by the way, you look fucking great. Not bad. Very special. And you will Halloween show. We we we've all dressed up. G Mike is dressed up as great WWF former referee Earl Hedner. Dom is dressed up as Alex. Dom show everyone. Dom is dressed, Dom is dressed up as Alex with a better body. Dom, did you borrow Alex's actual clothes? No, the pants are from Seraphina. This shirt I just found on Amazon. Nice. Very cool. Where is Seraphina? Uh, she's I think in the green room. So she's giving dress. All right, we should get our guest out. Everyone just wants a green room. Why feed to the guest green room, please? Now it's time for our hidden camera in the green room. Love that trick. Yeah. Let me bring our guest out here, everybody. You know him. He's a family member over here. You know, I'm from Zach Amico's morning zoo right here on gas digital. From JCW Luna C and he has this debut special out right now 30 minutes with Zach Amico. It is the international superstar. The great Zach Amico. Hello, boys. Now Zach, just one question. Why didn't you get dressed up? We're trying to do a little effort. I bought a t-shirt. Well, look, we're very happy you're here. There's truly nobody that I'd rather celebrate Halloween with. This is your favorite holiday, Zach Amico. So it's my time of year, baby. This is it, baby boy. I'm excited about we have a lot of people that dressed up today for the Halloween costume competition. Which, by the way, Body Brain Coffee is supplying a $250. Very nice. Now it's $250 and Body Brain Bucks. You can only buy Body Brain Products with it or you can just get it straight up fucking bean. Oh, yeah, straight up beans to $250 of beans. $250 of beans. I'm excited about today's show. Also, G Mike and oh, there she is. Seraphina's dressed up as Mike Harrington. Lewis, go beat her up. Still right now, Seraphina is too hot for dumb. It's all happening. You see, Dom's dating that hot bearded lady? Look, I'm excited about today's show. We have a lot of people. Seraphina, yes. The people that are going to sign up to be signing them up for the costume contest already? Oh, no. Seraphina is going to come out. If you want to sign up for the costume contest, I see a lot of people are here. Oh, they did it. Okay. I'm just making sure. Dom looks like every girl who's still mad at Shane. I guess I'm a whore now. So we're going to get to the costume contest a little bit later on. How many people have signed up for the costume competition? Do we know? This shot is good talk. 20 people. That's crazy. We only sold 17 tickets. How's that possible? We're losing money, hand over fist in this costume competition. How many people have signed up? Like 20 people. Oh, jeez, please. That's a lot of fucking people. Well, we have to get to a lot of stuff here, which is. No. I mean, the biggest thing that's taking over the internet right now is that I think. Body brain coffee now has creamer. H3 podcasts, Ethan Klein. I don't know. Ethan Klein has always been in my peripheral in the ether. I don't know really anything about him. I watch clips of the show because of people they've had on that I was interested in the story or whatever. But I don't know. I guess they're just not comedians or just podcasts. Yeah. Ethan Klein and then his wife, Heela Klein. - Climb, I might say that. - Oh, is she. That looks like a fucking wall. - What? Kristen Wigg character. (audience laughing) Oh, she's like, "I live at the night. The night is my son." I think that's her happy face too. I think she's, I think she's smiling. I can't believe we were nominated for one of these awards. (laughing) I mean, it looks like a Kristen Wigg Tim Heideker comedy I can't wait to not say. (audience laughing) Yeah, it's, I mean, look, the reality is like she's, keep you the picture up, she's terrifying looking, but she's also substantially hotter than him, right? I guess, I mean, it's, not even that, but the thing is, they're just podcasts, but she, so the story was, right? I just saw this, that she posted a thing. They have kids. Yeah, they have three kids. And she posts it. Imagine how disgusting these kids look. I mean, look at them. I've never seen, I'm not gonna take a shot anyways, kids, but look at these fucking parents. There's no way it could go really bad. Good, it could go bad. They're definitely gonna look happy. Yeah, so this is the big news. He cheated on her, which I guess wouldn't even be big news. Like, nobody like that, so he, a dude cheated on his wife. Ooh, wow, but apparently like this is the big deal. It was one of his, it was one of their interns. It was after 20 years of being married. And apparently he's like a big like, oh yeah, you fucking cheat your piece of shit guy. Oh, so it's the hypocrisy is what gets you. Oh, he's about to get killed steamed. Yes, you can't be hypocrite. See, we're all proud jeeters, so we're like, cool. All right, whatever. It's a live by the sword, die by the sword. If you're a wife guy, and you get caught, like the fucking track guy's guy, the who? They track guys online. Oh yeah, they were from Buzzfeed. The one that just put out a cookbook with his wife and got caught pork in their fucking hot Japanese intern. Nice. God. The problem is these interns are too hot. That's the problem. This is why we've hired all disgusting fucking interns. Yeah, smart. The last hot intern we'll ever have will be Sarah Fina. Once we figured out the format last year, which was to torture retords in the internal Olympics. Sarah Fina was in the internal Olympics, but she's the CEO of the company now, because she's hot. But all these ugly motherfuckers are actually, when she was, yeah, she couldn't be an intern. Yes, we had an ongoing six month of fair. And apparently it's with one of the interns. I don't know where they got the information that it was with this intern, but that's with the the internets. What does she look like? She likes the wife kind of, but like younger. Imagine an uglier version of his wife. Ah, wait a minute. That's the intern? Yeah, she looks like gay blind Mike. She looks like gay blind Mike, folks. She looks like an island boy. What the fuck? Yeah, I'm good. Did they have to choose a dorm room photo of her? I don't know. But I hope eventually that his wife so go back to that picture. I hope his wife's face grows into her teeth one day. Yeah, those, what the fuck is she? The intern, she looks like you remember like, when they made Planet of the Apes like back in the day, like she looks like one of the masks of the old school Planet of the Apes. Yes, yeah, just like a little AP, but instead is Rayleigh. Yeah. Oh my god, she looks kidnaped. This is, by the way, this is the most baller move ever, making your wife and your mistress dress up as thing one and thing two. It's delightful. No way. (laughing) Do you think he called them thing one and thing two? (laughing) Yes. What it was about to do? Oh, that's so fucking, what a hilarious thing. But that wife, well, again, when you're so public like that, the Nietzsche felt when they have three kids to be like, each of you know me, everything's a lie. He's a piece of shit. I'm like, why would you put that on social media? I mean, they lived their whole lives on social media, blah, blah, per statement. Yeah, pull it up, I'll read it. Yes, good training. Yep, the betrayal I feel is immeasurable. The person I love that trusted for 20 years evaporated overnight. He was my safe place, my partner in marriage, parenting and business, my only family on the side of this world. Nope. Nope, okay, that's fucked up. We can have families on the side. That's his thoughts. How do I even begin to make sense of this? I don't know what comes next. I've never been here before. I'm in survival mode trying to navigate separation. By the way, what a CUNT. For throwing a fucking semicolon in a fucking. Yeah, in a fuck you. Proper use of a semicolon, fuck off. Oh, yeah, she did throw a semicolon. But to this day, even in that context, I don't know if that's proper use. I'm assuming it is. It is, but it's like also could just be a period and not be a fucking job. I know. This maybe this is why he's fucking the intern. She's not so pretentious. Yeah. This is a run-on sentence. I'm in survival mode trying to navigate separation, co-parenting, and unthinkable heartbreak. All I can do right now is focus on taking care of myself and my children one day at a time. You're not crazy. Trust your instincts. Trust yourself. If you're not beating. Hold on, this is. Whoa, what's that? This is the third page of a statement you made. Yeah. Yeah. She's got a much longer statement. Oh, I'm not reading all this, dude. No fucking way. No, see if you got it, dude. Come on, you got it. I'm in living. I am living in a nightmare. I can't wake up from. My husband has been having an affair. You've stopped putting inflection into this. I know. Because I got a slow down, dude. This is my training. Deep breath at the beginning. I have been fed lie after lie after lie for months. That was tough, and I did it. You did. I'm tired of the lies. There's no love. I'm tired of lies. Here's the truth. Oh, no, no, no, no. Oh, no. You've got this. You've got this. I'm already tired. I'm very hungover. I could sense something was wrong. I tried to ask questions and share my concerns and hurt feelings, but I was met with dismissive answers and no action. Things that bothered me continued to bother me and he did nothing about it. So I trusted him because I loved him. I stopped questioning him and began to question myself, my own instincts, my sanity. Even? No. No, technically. No, technically. Even's the first four lies of that word. I got it. I was so tired. Eventually, he was caught in a lie and I knew I was done. But the lies continued. It's just a kiss. Ew, you just kissed that thing? It became. It was just emotional cheating. Ew, you're emotionally cheated with that thing. After I dragged these lies from him, he finally admitted he'd been having an affair for over six months. The extent of which I'm sure I still do not know, don't know. You will never know. No, no, no. I already read that one. That's okay. We got it. By the way, advice, ladies, by the second page of your statement, every guy is gone. I get it. Yeah. Yeah. So they had a podcast together. I assume, right? Yeah, yeah. So like their whole brand. So now what his whole thing is, he's now left the podcast and he's like, he's giving it all to her. But it's like, then you just have a female fronted podcast. That sounds like a nightmare. What do you think next week's topic is going to be about? Fucking loser dude. What are you doing? Hang in there until she cools off. Yeah. Yeah. Holy shit. So they're like wealthy from this, right? They're super wealthy. Yeah. Oh, they're wildly wealthy. Yeah. Like they make so much fucking money. Really? And then why? No, I mean, I've been watching their clips. It is the worst shit I've ever heard of my entire life because I've been following it now. Just what are they comments? Just for the tea. Dude, I don't even know. It's like, imagine we gave all of the interns microphones and we just talked to them. About nothing. About their days. Oh, god. Well, I don't know. If you look at them, I bet their days are pretty interesting. Yeah. I can see you. I woke up, changed my father's feeding tube. Yeah. We saw somewhere that started drinking. Holy cow. So they're going. I still have binoculars outside of an elementary school. He's got to figure like, he's like, he's a pretty famous dude. Like, I get that he's like a dweebie, like, look at me. I just don't know why he's faint. I just don't, I never-- There's famous part. He's famous. The same reason you're famous. No, but it's not. Is that a comedy podcast? It wasn't a knock. He does a podcast. He's famous for-- He didn't mean for cheating on his wife, published, right? [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER] You and him were the same. Yeah. Jay's back because he got the order backwards. On all days, my daughter comes. Is she really here? Yeah. Oh, fuck. Yeah, no. So, no, he's famous from podcasting. They're just podcasters. But it's not a comedy podcast, what I'm saying. No, I think it is a comedy podcast. Oh, really? Yeah. I never heard of these people before. You've never heard of the each story podcast? Well, they're not comedians. I have heard of it. And I've seen clips of it before. They said, but like, it's not a-- But yeah, it didn't strike me as comedy. Yeah, it's not really funny. But it's-- I know he used to do a podcast with another girl. It's where he used to see it, too. Name the Trisha Paytas. And I know I don't know anything about her personality. I think I just know that she did-- like, you tubing? I just watched five girls clap. How excited are they? Yeah, why? My girlfriend clap. These girls clap. Who's Trisha Paytas? Oh, there they go. Oh. Well, here's me. She's fat, but in like a way of like a girl in school where you would have been like, I'm going to try one night, though. Can we say her? Can we say Trisha Paytas? And then she did. Oh, me. Yes. Funny. That is-- there we go. That is a false bill of goods. So that guy did a podcast with her, and he did try to fuck her? You may have, but also-- What's her name? Trisha Paytas. Trisha-- Trisha Tatas. But she-- what's she about? But she did a couple of pawns. She did a pawn with Adam 22 and the-- Oh, OK. What? [APPLAUSE] You know what, girls? - Let's give us Tricia Paytaz facts that the entire show, I like that. - She's in an M&M video. - She's a squirter, she's a squirter. - Oh, she's, that's not, that's not where Miro's going into a fight. - Yeah, nice cupcakes. - Yeah, that's like Zach's profile, Jesus Christ. - I mean, you can go to like the worst of the worst and you're gonna be like, oh, Christ. - Yeah, so he did a podcast with her for a hot minute. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - She almost looked better there. - Yeah, in a weird way. - Nice lips. - Yeah, those are fake Steve, I'm sorry. - What? - AI Slop. - Damn. - So yeah, I mean, the thing is he's kind of like a, he's kind of like a Deweybie guy. I don't know what's got, I don't know. I just sort of watching more clips. Apparently he's got like Tourette and he's like, - Oh. - Has a weird like Flemmy Cough type thing. Like, so it's, but I'm just saying like, he's famous enough that you wouldn't fuck, pull up the girl he's fucking again. You just wouldn't fuck this girl. There's so many girls. - Literally, Dom is hotter than their intern. I swear to God. - Dom would fuck Ethan Klein over Seraphina any day. - Maybe. - There is something to be said about having like, maybe she could keep her mouth shut. - Oh my God, dude, what the fuck? - Dude, that's a boy. That looks like a man. - It looks like a boy, it looks like a sad boy with a cold. - The diary of Blaine Frank. - Yes. - Damn friends. - Is he gonna shoot up a preschool? - Jesus Christ. - And she is psychoized in this. - She does, she looks like a boy whose parents don't get him. - Yes. My dad's man, not a football player. - I mean, she just look at her, like she, like you could just, she's got so much extra hair on her face and her, like, up her waist. - Definitely arms, lower back. - Yeah, this picture. - This is a hairy bitch right here. - No doubt. - That's her side of the face. She got tickets to the cure. She's like, whoa, yay, look at me. She has toes. - If you're a woman, are you more offended if you're man's cheating on you with a gross, like, thing or you want more-- - I think whatever hot check. - I think whatever you get caught with. - It's not good. - They would say-- - They'd rather be-- - Why wouldn't it be the, yeah. - Yeah. - I don't know. I don't know. You think a girl wants you cheating on, like, if you get caught cheating with that, your wife is like, what's the, even the fucking, what Jesus Christ, you might, you might think it was easy. - That's what she looks like. - She looks like a young Dustin Hoffman. - Yeah, like, like Timothy Schalman has Dustin Hoffman. - And that's what she gets. - No, Timothy Schalman has Dustin Hoffman. - Yeah, she looks like a fantastic musician. (laughing) And again, I don't want to get in trouble here, but there's nothing feminine about this photo at all. Like, this is a, I can't imagine. - She looks like she owns a ukulele with a kazoo glued to the, she definitely has three gene jackets. - Yeah, so whatever, I mean, more power to you. I mean, look, guys are gonna cheat. That happens in the world. But I just, if you're that famous and you're that wealthy, you just think you just, and also like, - You don't want like the girl that you're working with. - No, by the way, she was babysitting their kids. - They're cheating. - Fucking gay. - That has to be part of it, by the way. Like, literally the fact that like, she's like, working in his world, babysitting the kids, that has to probably turn him on in a weird way. - Because of a guarantee it's her yet, though, right? - I don't know. - Do we know why they're saying it's ours or any reason? - You guys can do the research. - Yeah, it's being reported, let me look to see if there's a reason. - Yeah, see if there's a reason why they're saying it's her. But there's so many hotter, Jewish women that he could have cheated with. - Wait a minute, we have a question. - First of all, you're not on the podcast, bitch. - Oh, no, no. I think it was a valid question, I guess. - Can you bring a picture of her back up? - It's any picture of her at all. - Any picture, see if we could see why we think she's Jewish. - We saw her horns. - That's why she's covering up her horns in that photo. It's the lifelong allergies and the eyes and nose. It's just, I think he's probably only with Jewish people. - Her name is Tamara. - Tomorrow. - Tomorrow. - Tomorrow. - But it's not Tamara. - Black people would say Tamara. - His wife's like Israeli, right? His wife is really ugly. - Damn, Israeli. That was good. - Israeli? - Israeli, ugly. - Good. - So people are speculating it's her because the entire crew and followed her on Instagram. - Oh. - And they're all sticking together the crew. - Oh. - The whole crew. - By the way, if you guys ever fucking did that to me, if I ever got caught cheating and you guys were like, "We're gonna fuck off, you fucking faggots." I literally fucking killed-- - I think it's a message from his crew. - I'll beat the fucking shit. - Lewis, we wrote this for you. - That's crazy. If you guys think you're gonna write a message publicly against me, poke about it. - Guess again, fuck faces. - I would love-- - I'll just show all of your lives. - Yeah, I would love, I want nothing more than to read like the entire crew. - This is hell. - I'm all of them. - This is semi-colon. Who the fuck do these people think they are? - Oh no, there's something going on here. - Oh my god. By the way, in a full colon at the end, suck balls. - Yeah. Steve, take it away. Steve, got it. - Message from the crew. - This is from the podcast. This is their dumb Alex, G-Mike, fucking nut sack. Imagine them coming together. All of them and putting a message out to me. Oh, it's making me angry. - Steve, quick question. Where do you see a semi-colon? - Uh, well, I have to agree, that's not a, that's a colon. - There's two colon's. - That's a colon? Where's that a semi-colon? I can't tell if that's got a little comment at the bottom. - Where? - After a colon. - It's a colon, here we go. Message from the crew, semi-colon. - Colon. - That's a colon. - All right, well, I'm wearing glasses and are not done. - Steve doesn't know what a semi-colon is. - Are you misreading punctuation now? - No, but I'm infuriated. They're using it because I don't know how to really like, well, this colon's fine. - Okay, a message from the crew. We're all shocked, angry, and heartbroken to learn about Ethan's ongoing affair. Not all of you. One of you knew about it the whole fucking time. As soon as we found out, we all agreed. - Let's kill the cunt. - No, we would not continue working with Ethan. - By the way, colon, yes, I know. That's why I think I throw a joke in there. We could not continue working with Ethan. We involved or profiting in any way. We don't yet know what that means for the future. There's a lot of work to work through. And we wish we had more answers. Dude, I'm so, this is the most I've read in two years. - We will. - Start through these things again. - Come on, you got this. - I don't want to do it again. There's a lot to work through. And we wish we had more answers for you. We stand with Halaia, Hila, Hila, Hila, Hila. I'm not saying Hila, Hila, and we'll support her every step of the way. We're disgusted by Ethan's actions. Okay, gross, yeah. We're disgusted. Who the fuck, you guys don't fuck people? And the hurt that he has caused. We all deserve better. - Now he owes all of you an apology. - Another colon. - Yeah, Hila, three colon. - And you. - Hila, us and you. Oh, come on. - Come on, dog. You got this. - Please, no, that we're safe. - We're safe. - Oh, thank God. - Nobody's never questioned you. What is he doing? - We're sticking together and we're looking after each other. Who gives the fuck? Did you guys talk about how much money you make? I don't think so. We put so much of ourselves into this show and it's hard to find words for what we're feeling right now. Thank you for giving us some time to figure things out and for all the love you've shown us already. I don't know. We love you and we miss you already. - We miss you. - Yeah, he literally skipped 13 words and just went to already. - I was going to get to the end. - The query. - The query. - Wherever we're at already. This is that shit. - That's stupid. - I can't believe the crew came out. I mean, he must be like. - That's what good reason that might be that girl because why would the crew, like we're all, that's the dumb people. - Unless they're getting ahead of other shit. - Maybe, maybe. - They might know something else. - It's very possible. - I was saying to quit a job over like is fucking ridiculous over that to who get more. - Yeah. - What do you give a shit? - I mean, once again, if you guys got behind my back and put on a public fucking statement, I would literally be just fighting you all. - Can we say though, there's a little dynamic difference here though. They do a show together. Also, now. - No, they do a show. I mean, that's what it is. If their producers have microphones. - Now, but listen, if we, if me and you broke up, me and you, me and you broke up. - No. - Do they leave with me and write an angry letter about you or do they just all stay put here? - Can I tell you what happened is it all stayed put because they don't have any faith in you leading the next fucking thing. (laughter) - Like, you're, you're-- - I don't have you. - Yeah, it's my way you guys know. I have no jobs for you. (laughter) I have nothing for any of you to do at all. - You guys would get together and then Jay would go, "All right, well, what's the plan, guys?" - But, will they go? - They have to have the plan. - Will they all call me behind our back? - If they go, "Dude, please, let us know "if you ever start anything." - Wait, I was kidding. You're part of the show. I was kidding. Sit down. - No, they're gonna go throw up before they eat their pizza. - All right, go, go, go, do, go, do your cocaine. (laughter) - That's a tough spot. - I feel like if you came to a four o'clock show, you have to know the show. Who wanders upon this? - No, I don't think that, do you think they're, do you think they're coming back? All right, let's say over, you think they're coming back. - You think they're coming back everything. Oh my, this is. - This is such a, all the fat guys are going, they left the pizza, they have to come back. - By the way, it's the first thing I know it. - That's the fat guy in the room, he's like, "No, there's no way there's no way there's pizza." - It's the first thing I said. - Hot chicks don't care about leftover pizza. - It's not leftover, they didn't eat any, I thought they were gonna go throw up first. - They're probably bailing on their bill right now. - I am starving though, so if they don't come back in 10 minutes. - Of course you're not paying for it. - Steve's gotta stop up some of this fucking booze. - Yeah. - Hey, let's take a second, thank one of our amazing sponsors over here, Legion of Skanks, prize picks everybody. The NBA is back and it's back big. It's back three and oh, in fact, it's that easy for all-star team to walk right through this fucking season. But you don't have to go with my sixers. 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Benchmade knives are built to last with each one hand assembled and sharpened by expert technicians in Oregon, dude. I can watch videos of guys sharpening knives all day long because you know what they're going to do. - Oh, your shirt's off. (laughing) - Soon enough, they're cocked around, right? - Soon enough. Soon enough, it gets gay. - Whether you're using it around the house at work or outdoors, Benchmade knives are quality and you can depend on them when it counts the most. - They send you a chef's knife, it's so sharp. - Really? It's so good. - You get your knives? - It comes in a very cool shape. - Your wife is probably sealing your knives. - She probably has all the sharp knives. Thank you for the way for me. Yeah, no, it's awesome. Benchmade's legendary bug out knife is the ultimate everyday carry knife. Everyday carry, that's awesome. It's a pocket knife, they send me that too. - Oh, really? It's lightweight, strong, low profile. Keep it sharp, keep it tight. 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All you gotta do right now is go to BodyBrainCoffee.com and use the promo code LOSGift. Get both the coffee and the creamer for 10% off. Then we're giving you a free gift. How exciting is that? (cheering) You can either choose the Body Brain Mug or the Body Brain Froth or $800 for cashback. - No, no, that's not it. It's just the mug or the hunter. - $100 cashback. - If you don't like your order, just send it back. We'll send you a lot of free shit. - The mug or the frother? - That's what you get. - Or eight, if you look, there's a widget. (laughing) - BodyBrainCoffee.com is a website. Use that promo code LOSGift for 10% off and a free mug or frother. - All right, where were we? - So yeah, I mean, look, I guess cheating is, it's not like, do you know what they say? Like rape isn't about sex, it's about like a gray shower. Yeah, about power, right? Like cheating is about power. You can move Lewis to act like you don't know it. - I know, yeah. - It's about like a-- - Well, they teach you in your course, Lewis. - They say it's about something, I don't know. I don't even know what that's about. It's about power. Is that what they say? - Yeah. - I guess it's about having mighty awesome power. (laughing) - Well, I mean, that's not what cheating is. Cheating is about just getting some fucking strange and getting some pussy. So why would he go with such-- - It could get more, it could get more than that, but I said, like, if it's just fun. But if he's, if it's the same girl, six months. - Yeah, same girl. - No, that's what I'm saying. It might not be how hot she is. She just might be like everything that he needs. She just might be quiet and easy and whatever. And it's like, yeah, and she might want to fuck 'em. - And convenient, and also maybe she shuts her mouth. Maybe that-- - Well, that's what I'm saying. - The big factor there is, if it's gonna be a cheater, you gotta be with a girl who's gonna shut her fucking mouth. And maybe this bitch just didn't yet. - He seems sloppy, too, with covering up his shit. - Well, I mean, if fucking taking holiday pictures with them all together is bad shit. - But we are doing it now. We're all took a portrait together, and I was banging fucking G-Mike behind everyone's back. They're like, that's diabolical, they're taking pictures. But you're not fucking G-Mike. - You don't know that. - I don't. - You don't know anything. - You always insist he shares a room with you when we go on the road, and I'm like, we can get G-Mike a room. - No, he's gonna board with me. - I mean, he like, you think like Jewish women, obviously, that's the thing. - My guess would be, he doesn't deviate out of that. - He doesn't deviate out of like a, I bet that he seems like a Jewish guy that might be, I might be wrong, but it seems like a Jewish guy where it's like the girls are always gonna be Jewish. That's the circles you find. - Yeah, but there's way hotter Jewish women. Name four. - Yeah, go ahead. - Hold on, I got it. Natalie Portman. - Boom. - Great. - Hold on. - Sure. - Hold on. We've already acknowledged that she looks like Anne Frank. But it's already being knowledge. - Yeah. - So you can't call that. - The next hottest Jewish woman, I think is Sarah Silverman, who's not hot. - She is hot. - Avengers. - Avengers. - No, Gal Gadot. - Gal Gadot. - No, no, Avengers. - Wonder Woman. - Scarlett Johansson. She Jewish. - Scarlett Johansson Jewish. - I didn't know. - And Titties is. Scarlett Johansson Jewish, look that up. Fact check that. - That's crazy. - Whatever it is. - Oh, well, well, well. Look who comes back for their pizza. - Throw it back. - You're so lucky, we're gonna say something. - This should count for full Jewish, because if Scarlett Johansson's Jewish, 'cause like, you know, one parent's Jewish, I'm not counting that as full Jewish. We're talking about a full Jewish, super smoking hot chick, Gal Gadot. No doubt. - Gal Gadot. Gal Gadot's the hottest Jewish chick. - Milakuna, is Milakuna Jewish? - No. - Are you sure? - I think everybody says the name and says it. Whitney Houston. (audience laughing) - I don't know. - Which by the night, we'll be Goldberg. - Natalie Portman and Milakuna's are both, if you're a tractor to them, you are a pedophile. The reality is, we all were a tractor to them when they were children, and then they grew up, and they were like, oh, they're so pretty hot, I guess. - But they were only hot when they were children. - This is your game. - What? - This is your game you do. - You go, right, everyone. - Yeah, exactly. You guys go, "Guy, aren't we all pieces of shit "for fucking realize we were just still attracted "to them as children as one more adults?" Isn't it fucking, aren't we pieces of shit that come out of that house? - Milakuna's was, I believe, 15 or 16 years old, - 14. - 14? - Yeah, I never watched the show. - Me neither. - I really didn't, I never watched that show. - What was the show? - My first Milakuna's thing was-- - That's actually a show? - That's 70's show, yeah. - My first thing was seeing her, like-- - Can you not show her as a child? Can we show adult Milakuna's please? (laughing) - Ew, I didn't know. - I didn't marry now. - Yeah, I didn't know this show at all. So my first knowing who she was was the voice on family guy, and then seeing her in Ted, and she was an adult. - Yeah. - But a hot adult. - Oh yeah, hot adult. - Oh, when she first came out, when I was a kid too, - I mean, I saw that girl. (laughing) - Good usage. Now, what if she was Mexican? Oh my god, look at the titties on that chick. (cheering) -What is this at the point? -What are they saying, Etha? -I thought the whole lyrics were just the O'Lathes. -This guy's new lyrics. -Getting a little bit nervous that there was some kind of white supremacist message. -It sounds like we are the wall. It looks like she's like that, but I don't think we are the white. -You're not the white, you're not the right. Or other hot Jewish women. I don't know. It's got to be off the dome. -Full Jewish. -Full Jewish. -Sara Silverman, I would put on the lips. -She's on it. She's on it. -There was a moment where Sarah Silverman was hot. -No, there was decades where she was hot and she's still pretty. -She's still cute, really, really hot. -This is what it is. I don't know what it is. It's you guys being young comics and Sarah Silverman was already established and she was kind of hot then and you're holding onto that. -Yes, the hottest photo ever. -Yes, fine. -Yes, fine. -No, single greatest photo taken. -She shows her pussy and bush in two movies. -Yes. [ Cheers and applause ] -This movie made me cry on an airplane. -It's so sad. -Yup. -Those are nice natural things. -Those are big natties. -Those are right up my alley. -See, were you doing big natural in Austin this week? -Whoa, all right. -I never saw this. -This movie I didn't ever watch. I've just seen this picture a thousand times. -I mean, she's also just skinned. -Yeah, I smile bad. -The only reason it's hot is because we're looking at her naked body is not great. -No, I don't think her body was great in that picture. I agree with that. -She's also 50, I think, at least. -Those are great tits, bro. -Yeah, they're great. -I'm staring. -She's on the list, for sure. -100% on the list. -I pulled you, Jimmy. Throw me something. -I mean, what are you going to do? -We don't want to lie. -We're going to off the dome. -We've only been able to name a show Gailer. -Celler? -Young, okay. Young, she's aged rough. If you watch the new Dexter, it's tough. -Really? -Yeah. -But she was buffy, right? -Yeah. -It's really hot. Jennifer Chase. -It's very hard. -It is hard. -It's so hard. -Didn't name hot Jewish women because they're not attractive people. -Yes, what I mean, not now. -Man. -She looks like your dad's bitchy wife. -Are you going to be here all summer? -I'm projecting. -She's got a chimney, Joe List. -God damn. -Not good. -That was our complete list of the four hot Jewish women in the world. -Come on, there's got to be. -There's got to be more. -Anyone else doing the Hanukkah song in their head right now? -Oh, yeah. Going over. -I've got his all three stuages. -Wait, was Berrick Bo Derek? Is that in the song Bo Derek? -I don't know. -Hold on. -Now I've got to go through the fucking list that he does in the song. -O.J. Simpson. -I'm with the girl from Broad City, right? She's got big titties. -I wouldn't call her hot. I would say she's-- -Buddy, I'm fucking scraping it about. I'm doing my fucking best. -We're down to a Lana Glazer. This is getting crazy. All right, Joe, I give us a list of attractive people. -Who are we missing? -We got to be missing some people. -People are doing math in the audience. I see them counting on their fingers. -Let's see. -Come on, G. Mike. Show me those hot jeans. -Give me some of them. -Hot, Judaism. -Okay, so Harry Weiss who said that? -Semitic Usah. -So, Scarlett Johansson is Jewish and Mielekudis is Jewish. -All right, Zach. -Here we go. -On the list. -A Lana Glazer's not bumped to fifth. -I'll be honest, the rest of the list is people I've seen in things. But they're not very-- People I don't know by name, but are like Rachel Weiss. -All right. -She was the mommy girl. -Zone Kravitz? -She's Jewish. -It barely counts. -It's passed down from a black Jewish guy. We got it from the lady from the Jefferson's. Married a Jew. -It's too many degrees of Kevin Bacon. -That's like making a photocopy of a photocopy of a photocopy of a photocopy. You can probably see that here. -Here's my big dick. -And Jews can't have Kevin Bacon. -She's a beautiful, light skinned black woman. Lisa Bonay and Lenny Kravitz. But she's can't be on the list. I'm not giving Judaism. -Not because of the hotness. -I'm Jewish and I'm not giving that to Judaism. I will not. -Yeah. -It manual tricky. -Oh my God. -Tarajaraj. -And by the way. -Yes. -Also, when I was a kid, I watched Snow Day. She was the girl on Snow Day. Oh my God, I loved her on Snow Day. -Can we not make them children angry? -No, she was a hot child. She was a hot child on Snow Day. I was a boy. -Can I say this? I was a boy. -I was a boy. -Can I say this? And this is maybe, go back to that picture. This is my self-defense mechanism. -Oh, Jerry, are you about to do the thing where you try to point out what's not perfect about a manual. -She's stunning. I don't have anything bad about her now. But in the good, I already see. This is my superpower. This 10 more years, and it ain't going to be good. -It might be better, dude. -It's going to be a stern face. -It's going to be a stern face that never looks happy. -Like a Howard Stern face? -It's going to be a frowny face. -Can you pull her up as a child in Snow Day? [ Laughter ] -Imagine, hold on, imagine. -Oh, it was talking about a boner today. -I know. Why are you going to tempt yourself? -Imagine you're 14 years old. -You stay home from school. -Jesus Christ. -She's in Snow Day. -Lewis, you could just save us a lot of time by showing this picture and going like, "Hey, she's 20." -I have no idea what I saw. What year did this come out? I'll tell you right now, this is the year that I was attracted to her. So if I was over 18 when it came out, I guess I'm a pedophile. -I was born in 1982. -I was born in 1982, good. -It came out in 2000. -No! [ Laughter ] -Give me a towel. -How old is she? -How old was she when it was made? -Wade, 99? -99, probably, is when it was made, because -- -It's big right there. -Is that big to you? [ Cheers and applause ] -So you were just on the cost of being a sexual predator. [ Laughter ] -How old was she when Snow Day was made? -She was 14. [ Laughter ] -She was 19. -She was 19. -How old was she? -19. -19! -23. [ Cheers and applause ] -23. -23. -23. -23. -She was 23. -Oh, wait. -She was 23. -23. -She was so good. -Playing a high school student. Dude, that Johnny Depp played a high school student in 21 Jump Street. -I don't think they've robbed me of my boner. She wasn't in high school. That's crazy. -You jerked off to some old lady. -I jerked off to a girl in her 20s. -That's horrible, Lewis. You're a horrible person. -I think the next girl we bring up, Lewis, like, "You actually got her started on Sesame Street." -Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Remember that when they looked in the mirror, I see this person. She was in that. She was so hot. -When I was a girl, I made me one of the sexiest ultrasounds I've ever seen. -Nobody's gonna even know this show. Maybe some people in the room on the show, there was a show called Kid Songs. That was like public access, essentially. And the girl that was on Kid Songs, when I was a little kid, I was in, like, to this set. I want to find her today. If we can find her now. -I'm so sorry. -When I was young, Alyssa Molano was the thing. You know what's funny? Family guy did a thing when a quagmire and Peter became a band. You heard a song that you could tell Alyssa Molano was gonna be hot when she was a child. It's so funny how that would just. They would have said that episode out completely. -Of course, yeah. -For sure now. But you could tell that Alyssa Molano was gonna be hot when she was a child. -You're trying to pull up Kid Songs if you can. -Is this her? -No, I don't think I was her. I'll tell you the hot child when I say her. [ Laughter ] I used to watch Kid Songs just for this girl. I was like, "Dude, I love her. I would have fucking. I would have gone to Hell and Back for this girl." -Okay, based on Tits alone, is Soleimoon Fry Jewish? -No. -No, probably not. -Punky Bruce Lee. -Alson Brie, fully Jewish? Both sides. -Is Dakota Johnson Jewish? -No way. -You think Don Johnson's Jewish? That gorgeous motherfucker? -Oh, Alyssa Brie is fucking hot. -She's Jewish? -Yeah, Alyssa Brie's Jewish. Yes, full. -See? -Put her on the list, dude. -Put her on the list. -People will try to call us Nazis. And here we are pointing out a beautiful Jewish woman. -Here we are. -She's very hot. -She's gonna age bad. -She's married to James Franco's brother. -Yeah, she's very frank. -She's gonna age bad too. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. -They're women. -They're all gonna age bad. in an age band. Yeah. Women do not age. good. Well, that's everything keeps you from putting a fucking razor blade in my wrist, buddy. I don't know. I liked it when they get old. I like it. Yeah, get better than that because you be doing them the favor. Yeah, sure. So look, here's the deal. Right. Uh, Ethan Klein, you know, I'm not right wrong. By the way, those girls crushed that pizza. Oh, they were true. Good job, girls. Um, so here, here's the deal, right? Um, you know, I'm not going to pile on Ethan Klein. He's a man. He was tempted. He did what he did. Um, you know, if we were put in the situation here, a gas digital, where one of our interns were coming on to us, maybe we wouldn't be able to fight them off. You know, so, uh, what, what I thought we should do is maybe we should decide if we had to fuck one of the interns, the current interns, meaning cerebral Paul, uh, uh, uh, fucking, uh, gimmick, um, fuckface universe name is Steve. To Lewis just presented like, we don't have a meeting. So he can get some credit for being like, man, what an on the spot genius idea. He goes, I had an idea that we, I'm like, what the fuck is that? He said, I propose. Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, what was it? Not my idea during the meeting as well. Yeah. Yeah. What's your idea? I'm not presenting anything. It was my idea. I just acted like it was just, it took us a while. This guy is an ego maniac. We're going to have to keep him in check. We're have to get his mother fucker in check. It was my idea. He's a mad man, dude. I didn't know we were cute. He's drunk with power. All right. As soon as his horseshoe grew in this mother fucker, he got all fucking elite on us. What's, uh, what's fuckfaces? Fick nuts act. There we go. It's so close to fuckface. Yeah. I like fuckface better, I think. Um, I'll be honest with you. I co-sign changing it right now to fuckface. It's fuckface. Safe. Done. Done. You're an amendment. All right, fuckface. So much easy to remember. Or Poe. Those are our four options and CP. And why is that CP? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So CP first just in here because he slurred it. Yeah. So if you had to, so if we had to choose one, yeah. Which one are we going to fuck? I know. You already know. Yep. 100%. Wow. CP. Why do you say CP? He's probably the easiest to kill after. Yeah. And also, no one's going to sit there while he tries to tell him the story what happens. Steve Reynolds. Yeah. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. I'm sorry. I'm going to get back on the job. I'm going to get back out there. Yeah. CP is never saying rent is easy. I know. And rape? Imagine how much more he's going to slur after you fuck his ass. I mean, I would fuck him straight. I would think that I think a fucking gimmick is probably the most tall dude. He's the most attractive probably, right? Well, he's also done gay shit before. So God knows his way. You're on a call. That's true. Why do we let him ever live that down? We should be bringing that up every week. I just did. Yeah. It's just one sign. I feel like there should be a thing that we re yeah. We go over all the time. For sure. So I'm saying that's why for that reason. I would totally pick gimmick because I'd be like, I'm like, dude, I don't even got to tell you a lot of spit work. Squeeze the bottom, work the top a lot and we'll be adding a few minutes like a haircut with a new barber. You're like just three or four. It's very funny because you you pick CP, you pick gimmick. And I already why would pick somebody else? I I thought we're going to have to battle over who we wanted to get here. But I would take Poe and a heartbeat. Poe. Po naked would be like having sex with a woman. First of all, well, I say something. I'm a little bum that didn't overthink Poe because Poe and me could watch a lot. He's like a movie guy. We could do a lot of I think me and Poe in our downtime could have a lot of time. But is it just fucking or am I spending emotional time with this person? I think that you're you're having a full-fledged affair on Christine. So I'm spending time with them. Spending time with them. You're going on the road. We're having we're finding like our fucking movie. Yes. Yeah. Okay. It's not just a one time having sex with this is an ongoing you're having sex with this. I can totally live with CP. No problem. I have a question. Poe. Would you mind if every night we went to bed watching like American dad? We don't know where Poe is. Oh, he's what if he's watching American dad? I'll fuck him now. Yeah. It's really just fuck face. Nobody wants to have sex with. I thought you were going to pick. Can I say mine? Please. Can we hire this man in the blue flannel as an intern. That is a handsome man. He's want to have sex with this fuck here. Let's go back. That is a good looking gentleman. This is like a prodigy cover band. There he is. Look at him. Damn. Oh, don't go to me. There he is. But right behind you. This guy won't sexy. Oh, I thought you'd talk about the other guy. Oh, no, yeah, no this. He's talking to the guy. Yeah. Matt's out of your head. Oh, shit, dude. Let me look at you. He's better looking. I got to tell you he's better looking blurry on the camera. They see him like that. He's not that attractive. He's blurry on the camera. I remember he looks good, dude. He looks good. Blurred out. He looks like the guy who fucked up in the look. Look around, Lou. Beggars can't be choosers. If he was our intern, I would have picked him. Yeah, I bet he's sensual, dude. Oh, he's going to sing. Can you sing? No, he's got. Do you play any instruments? Which one? Guitar? I'm going to fuck this shit out of you, bro. Do you think? Do you think if I have had a fan blowing through your hair, you can hold me in a dip for a while? And just look at me. Oh, dude, he's ripped. He could do it. He could do it. He'll hold you up. He'll fucking dirty dance with you. Dude, that would be awesome. If you could hold me, if you could fuck me in the ass while holding me in the air. Nothing makes a fact. I feel better than feeling dainty. That's why I look at the pool so much, dude. I weigh nothing in a pool. I can flip in a pool, isn't that crazy? I love flipping in a pool. Ass over fucking teak head on a pool four times in a row while holding my breath record. I saw him do it. Yeah. And then he'll see me do it if you run up with a fucking girlfriend and I was doing flips and I'd pop up and I'd be like, oh, that was four in a row with no air. You were like, hang on, baby. What's that? And I was like, why did I come here? Hold on. My fat friend is flipping. I'll be right back. Oh, God, sorry. He gets mad. His dad left when he was young, so he freaks out if I don't watch him do flips. That don't give him enough flip attention. He's giving you mad at me. Hold on. It's what I can do again. Meanwhile, Lewis doesn't have a girlfriend around. We go to his house. He's like, everybody watch me dive into the pool. He didn't mean watch me do like a flip fucking quarter and a half dive. He just goes, I know how to dive off the edge of a fucking thing now. Yeah. And I do. I face time all of you at the same time and showed you in a giant group chat that I can now dive. Yeah. Yeah. Something. It was way more impressive than flipping. No, no, no. Four in a row dude under water. Four flips with no breath. No breath. You get disoriented. You got to fucking, by the way, you spent a lot of energy. You've got to pump your arms. He doesn't have a fin. He's got to move. What's the goal? Were you trying to go to the, you get the bends? Yeah, you get the bends. Yeah, dude. It's out. I'll be honest with you by next summer. I think I can get five. Probably dude. This is going to be the summer of five. Summer of five. Summer of five. Hashtag. Write it down. I'm not doing funny at some point. How did Jay die? Oh, he tried the fifth flip and it didn't work out. I'd tell you some whole long of fucking water. Yeah, I would feel like when Swayzey went off into fucking Australian waters to die in the big wave. I'd be like, that's how I was supposed to go. Flip it under water. Maybe, maybe since, months into knowing me, Lewis is known that I like to do underwater flips in a pool. He loves it. Like an autistic person. You won't be on a gig. I don't know what they're imagining, but it's less athletic than your match. What? No, don't believe that. Do you want to be a tight circle? You got to be a fucking dolphin, dude. It is, dude. Like a fucking one of those bugs that fucking curls up. Yes. A roly-poly. A roly-poly. A roly-poly. I fucking get into a complete circle. I catch a rhythm where I don't need to put too much arm into it. And I'm just catching the fucking circle. Like Sonic? Yes. A lot like Sonic the Edge, I guess. Word on the street is people get emotional when they watch him flip. You know, you know, you know, if Lewis would have paid attention, he was two billions in a new relationship and fucking suck. And I was fucking hitting record flips. He's flipping for his life. He was flipping one point. I was hitting four every time. It's like how they have a jump in supercontra. Oh, yes. Dude, say exactly like that. Ninja Gaiden. Yes. All right. So look, we have a lot of shows still to get to. Obviously, we have our Halloween costumes. There's some plugs real quick. What a fun show. By the way, I stand with Ethan Klein. I say fuck that bitch. Good for Ethan. Get it. It's much closer. I don't say Ethan Klein, but I say I stand with that fuck that lady. Like making all that soap public is so shitty to kids. Fuck him, whatever. You know, I mean, if you want to do a podcast or something, social media is a weird place to put that down on writing. Can I think the only reason I will say that I disagree is because their entire life is public. Now they're not doing the podcast. It's like the he posted a thing being like it's on hiatus. You almost have to address it. Like, what are you going to do? Just never say anything. Yeah. They should entire life is public. No, you can just say we broke for the sake of the kid. Say we broke up and you could be like, I fucking hate this guy, but like just be like, yeah, we didn't work out. They should just only speak once a week for an hour and a half and get all their fucking shit out. And like, met it, you know, meteor. She's being a twat. T met W. What's the word I'm looking for? >> The Meditation Mediator Mediation Mediation Mediation Mediation Mediation, you also can meditate on it a little bit. >> [LAUGH] >> Sphere will pull? >> Is that going to pull, I get my friend. >> Actually, Paul, can I get a die-cote, please? >> Just follow me on Instagram, Zach is now funny, check out my shows on the network. And if you haven't yet, please check out my new half an hour. He has digital presents, which is great by the way. >> Yes, very good, right? >> Thanks everybody who watched it. >> We love it. >> Luis. >> Come see me live on the road, guys. Go to my website, louisofskanks.com, we're doing a bunch of stuff on the road coming up right now. Next week we're in Austin, we're doing a bunch of shows there, comedy, mother shit, that sold out. But now the week after that, very few tickets left for a comedy store in November 4th and 5th will be in Los Angeles to be story wars live with a bunch of special guests. Right after that, I'm in Pekipsi and laugh it up Pekipsi. And obviously, Skankfest, three different legion of Skank shows. You can still get your single day passes for Skankfest, so get them right now. I'll be in South Bend, Indiana after that Grand Rapids, Hobart, Indiana, and Tampa, Florida for New Year's Eve. And also, we're going to Europe. We're doing a story wars European tour. The first week of June, we will be in Dublin, Ireland, Glasgow, Scotland, London, England, and Amsterdam. So get all of those tickets at my website, louisofskanks.com. >> It's totally fucking good, I'm sorry. >> Subscribe to Gast Digital, if you love the show, go subscribe to Gast Digital right now. We do a bonus show every Friday night. Hey, everyone, shut up. What's happening in here? Everyone's saying these fucks, terrible Paul, they feel good. >> All right, take it, adopting a puppy. Go subscribe to Gast Digital, use the promo code LOS, save a couple bucks a month. It supports the show directly, you get a bonus show that we do every Friday night, just the three of us. Plus, you get the uncensored and ad-free version of the show with pre-release. Plus, over 900 episodes of the podcast that are not available anywhere else in the world. Gast Digital.com, apps for iPhone and Android. Buy my book, "Knives and Spoons." >> Yeah, boy, Steve Aureno, yeah, baby, come see me live. SteveRan is easy.com, I'll be in Cleveland pretty soon, so hopefully, come sell that out, that'd be fun. I love that club, hilarious in Cleveland, we got, what else we got, I forget. Oh, yeah, punchline in Irving, Texas. That's going to be great comedy, mothership, and Uncle Vinny's, and I'll be adding more. >> Louis, can you stop influencing while Steve's trying to do this? >> I wish I knew, I don't have a phone right now. I think I'm beating Jeff Garland in fantasy football, but that's, you know, I can't check. >> You have no idea because you lost your phone playing spin the bottle with a bunch of fucking teenagers. >> No, you didn't play any sexual games. >> Seven minutes in heaven? >> No, dude, I wish. >> Yo, son, if you tell your mom, you're gay as shit. >> I'm done, that's it, that's all I got. >> Big J, bigjacomity.com for all my days, greatest ever-life tour happening right now. This coming weekend, I'm at the comedy mothership. If we do story wars, I'm in the mothership Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. How will we night, in fact? That's going to be a wild time on that street. After that, I'm doing I'm Killtonia on Monday. And then I'm going to, while saying just we're doing two story wars there, and then I'm doing Braia Improv, Friday and Saturday. After that, of course, story wars. I'm going to the Berk Rysher cruise right after that. Thanksgiving weekend, I'll be the stress factor. New Brunswick, how fun is that, right in my backyard sort of. But yeah, come fucking, let's fill that the fuck out. Louisville, Kentucky, Oklahoma City, Bricktown Comedy Club, doing the after parties. The only place I do an after party, hang at a strip club. The Red Dog, this is the best documentary on fucking Hulu ever. And listen to the Bonfire, five days a week, Faction Talk, series XM103, with me and the great Robert Kelly. And of course, story wars right here on the guest digital network. Watch the Kevin Hartrose. I got some fun announcements coming in the new year. >> Very cool. Why don't we get some of these, why don't we get this costume contest going? >> Let's see these fucking people, 20 people, $250 and cold hard cash from. >> We should always tell people that nudity already gets you at least to five out of ten. >> Yup. >> If you just do nudity, and by the way, that also means weeners. >> Ah, yes. >> But they have to be nice. >> I'm not a misogynist. >> They have nice or hilarious, if you just have a regular old fucking, no need to see. >> Waste of everybody's time. >> Yup. >> It's got to be a monster or a fucking disgusting. >> A monster or a fucking hilarious, or you're mangled. >> So, Jim, do we have any sort of organization here? We have a list, names, anything like that? >> Yep, they got a list right there and they're going to bring everyone up one by one. >> This is the problem, when you have the interns in charge of anything. This is the fucking list that they hand me. >> It's a receipt. >> It's a receipt paper, right? >> I think they can intro the people. >> I can't believe I said that was fucking you guys. >> Just fucking crazy, man. >> He just bent them, no, what do you want to type it up? >> I mean, just something a little more organized, I guess. >> Line paper, notebook, yeah, maybe type it up, I don't know. >> I don't remember Stone Cold Steve Austin having home boys sag on his fucking pants, by the way. You threw a little of your own flair in there, didn't you? Fuckface used to be in a house of pain cover band. Has anyone said Cold Stone Steve Austin? That's been used, right? >> Yeah, Cold Stone Steve Austin, Stone Cold Steve Waltzism. >> Yeah, yeah, that's all they've been doing. >> All right, just making sure. There's been a lot of roast battles in the same good joke check, good joke check. >> All right, so $250 in cold hard cash. >> Do we have a microphone set up for them? We're going to take a moment and interview them. >> One right there. >> All right, is that what it is? >> Fuckface has it. Okay, great, grab the microphone. Fuckface, we appreciate it. I want fuckface. >> And maybe pull the camera back a little bit so we can get them on camera. We have somebody, we have a camera right over here. Okay, great, beautiful. >> All right, sweet. So first up is, you should tell G Mike, you should tell everybody that you're the rapist from Revenge of the Nerds. I mean, what does this, what does this say? >> It says Honey Bear and Wes. >> Honey Bear and Wes. >> Team Rocket. >> Team Rocket, okay. >> They've done them in Run Bear and Wes, team coming up here. [APPLAUSE] >> All right, a couple that meths together, right? So we got Honey Bear and Wes, what is this supposed to be now? This is Dragon Ball Z? Pokemon, dude, you don't know the ball, the ball, at least, you know. I know nothing about it. >> Just the left ball, you've never seen an image of that left ball before. >> I've seen an image of the left ball. >> And that's Pokemon. >> You could have told me we're Dragon Ball Z. >> Now Dragon Ball Z is, listen, I understand what you say because of his fucking Dragon Ball Z hair. But the thing in his hand is definitely a Pokemon, I know that. And my daughter's not Japanese. >> Wait, is the thing in his hand a Pokemon? >> It's a Poke Ball. >> It's a Poke Ball. >> Sure, but it's a Poke Ball. >> A Poke Ball, I love Poke Balls. >> It's the Poke, yeah, I don't see any, I don't see any Sesame Vinegar on that. >> [LAUGH] >> So are you guys a couple? >> Nice. >> You're just friends. >> What do you guys do, you just hang out and shave each other's bodies? >> [LAUGH] >> Where are you guys from? >> [INAUDIBLE] >> Do me a favor, we did check. >> Hey, check. >> Fuck, face, go over there and hold the mics for them. >> [LAUGH] >> It never held the microphone before. >> No, I didn't know it was on, I didn't know it was on. >> Take it out of the stand and hold it for them, please. >> You're going to interview them, some folks see Boston. >> It looks like we started labeling retards. >> That's what I thought too. >> I thought they were going to say retards one and two, retards all my life. I thought they were doing Dr. Seuss, but instead of like thing one, they're like retards one and two. >> Retards one and two. >> That's a better cost if you were just retarded one and retarded two. >> [LAUGH] >> So what's your name again, Miss? >> Honey Bear. >> Honey Bear, okay, is this your real name? >> Yeah. >> He was your God-given name. >> No, I changed it. >> You changed it, what was it before? >> I don't like my old name, so I don't use it. >> I want to know, could we dead name you, what was your old name? >> No, you can't dead name me. >> It's worse than Honey Bear, it's impossible. >> It's both me and my sister change their names. >> What's your sister's name? >> I'm not going to dead name. >> I'm not going to dead name my sister. >> No, what's your new stupid name? >> [LAUGH] >> Barry. >> Well, look, I don't know if you guys have any more questions. >> Maybe it's a good costume. I don't know- >> I don't know. >> She also has a brother named Golden Graham. >> [LAUGH] >> Can we see what they're supposed to be? Can you give us an image of what they're supposed to be on the screen? Maybe it's closer to that. >> What if it's just two friends 69ing? >> They're team rocket, the bad guys from Pokemon. >> I don't watch. >> [LAUGH] >> I don't, yeah, I don't. >> I'm sorry there was no hot children on that show. >> [LAUGH] >> And I was beaten off the Snorlax. Is this Halloween music? >> [LAUGH] >> No, this is, yeah, put spooky music on it. Obviously put spooky music on it. >> That's my Harry Potter, what the fuck was just on? >> Whimsical, it's like we're getting raped in the woods. >> If we dream it, we can believe it. >> [LAUGH] >> Find some spooky and also pull up what they're supposed to be on the screen. I need to see how accurate the costume is because I never watch Dragon Ball's it. >> [LAUGH] >> Okay, now I gotta be honest with you guys, you guys are nowhere near as hot as these two characters. >> [LAUGH] >> You guys are like, if these two like fucking really fell off the wagon and fucking sort of drinking every day, so just fucking eating whole food. >> I don't see their go-tees. >> [LAUGH] >> Okay, team rocket. >> All right. What are we what are we what are we gauging? I mean, I think we just pick a what let maybe we'll let the audience pick a winner at the end We'll pick the top three and let no one is ladies jump in one more time for honey bunny job guys. Thank you And let's get to do you think they thought we knew anime stuff. I don't know that What I'm just saying it should have been a better thought out costume because we don't watch that horse shit So but hey, but here's the thing we might give off that we do do we give off that we watch that horse shit? People say people say to me all the time when I go on the road to say things like you know in that show bleach And I go what the fuck you talking about like samurai anime on an adult swim. I go. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about So do we have spooky music? Thank you Next up is Okay, Robert is clowned from slipknot. Yeah, what's up boy now? This is my this is So so good. That's the identical mask from one time. That's his identical weight. That's the identical jumpsuit Yeah, yeah, no, it's a loose. You actually told me I had some nice tips. I Don't you say I don't like you looking at me and talking to me. It's freaking me out. Okay, little is You say I used to live under your mattress. I said you have nice tits. Yeah, do we see your tits. Let me say oh My god You should have joined the biggest sense competition Yo, sir, that's a nice fucking tit right there I like it and this is a great costume by the way pull up the you do me each time guys Let's pull up what they're supposed to be so we can show everybody at home What the original G Mike you don't you somebody could do this. I know they can you gotta find this era though because this is it's identical Yeah, try to sell it so if you define that era The Iowa era maybe no, no, no, so I've titled 99 auspices. We're more versus I got to be honest with you So we can't understand a word So You still have you still sound like you've ever met how do you do have in your mouth? 62 in short, dude. What's under that one? Um, and what was it? No, that's not the one you wore on the original. No, no, no, no, self-tile 99 is it? Yeah, there is wow No, dude, you do yourself a disservice. There's an identical one of that. That was great. Yeah, good job, dude. Thank you boys Just like them All right, one more time for Robert. Thank you, Robert. You did great The next one is is Mastikman Mastikman Oh my god, is he have cerebral palsy? Give me an excuse. Oh, hell yeah, dude. All right, so your your name is Mastikman. Yes What I'm Spider-Man, but I'm from another district in my own, so they sent me out there What do you say? I'm from Mastik. I'm Spider-Man. Oh, you're from Massick. Yeah, Mastik. Yeah, but it's not it's not Spider-Man is named after the the animal though not his neighborhood. Where's it called Queens man? Flushing man they call him. Oh, Queen's Bug. Oh, Mastikman Queen's Bug Messing man, I mean, I gotta ask you this is just a store bought costume. There's no creativity. It's not store-boss my cousins Look at it And he has special needs, right? You said you have special needs. Yeah, you know what you're on the spectrum of sorts. Yeah What You want to be an intern you want to jump? You want to hand you pronounce whatever you have. What a house it for Lewis for a week? If you could spell it, you're hired. Are you a Jimmy on the spectrum? You didn't know there was a costume contest Even when he's saying he's not on the spectrum. It seems spectrum. He's a way. So saturated All right, well, one more time for master command master man Lewis wants to get him out. Lewis wants to get him out of here before he pulls a gun out of his lunch box All right, next up we have Abby Let's see Abby is a Delta Airlines ticket to Jamaica Yo Yo until the passenger's name The passenger's name on the ticket some slug And it's gate 3 4 L. I love that great You fucking Nobody knows what this shit is She framed her titties. She framed her to necessarily but it helps. It's great Holy shit. I want to give her this costume or got money What so Abby? Where are you from? It's a great costume. I'm from here. You're from in New York City. Yeah great great Abby Very nice. How'd you hear about the Legion of Skanks? Oh, I love it. I found you guys I brought my boyfriend. You brought your boyfriend Fuck you buddy Abby's going to Jamaica possible. It's a big deal here It's a big deal. It's a big deal. This is huge. I love like spider-man everybody gets one So look Abby, I think this is a great costume. I think we're all digging it This is probably in my opinion in first place so far At least top three at least top three no doubt all right one more time for the lovely Abby everyone. Thank you Next up in our spooky costume contest We have John Yeah He has a t-shirt. This is black people rules. So this is a big this is a big J thing Here's the thing if you just want to got look to the video though. You could have made it look I put a little more work into my black people old shirt Just a little bit just a little bit this guy just threw it together. So I it's Yeah, can I be honest with you like even like you didn't even line up the black people rules I wrote it a very Oddway for sure if you see it, but it's uh, it's fucking what do you steal? Did you write it with the shirt on? Yeah Yeah, it was a joke It's it's it's not bad you wrote it in the mirror upside down with the shirt on. I tried great job Knowing that that's pretty good Do you have the picture of me in the shirt Mike? Do you have a video me in the shirt? You probably find it. So uh, where are you from John? Uh, here you're from New York City beautiful. I'm the boyfriend You're oh you're the boyfriend Let me say that she made god. Let me say this Okay, you're you're hold on one second. Oh, okay, you can come back up. You come back up. You're happy Listen me this costume. I would have been like, yeah, it's okay But because of how good your girlfriend's costume was This is turned into the biggest pile of shit that I've ever stayed in my entire life She fucking nailed it. No, no, she told me it was bad. She's like don't do it. I thought she oh really Oh, I thought she was gonna I thought she just told you this would be a good one. Okay I told him to take the shirt off in a fat guy way and then do the cut that He didn't either. You didn't do anything. He didn't so he fucked it up Keep panic Abby Abby listen to me and I mean this you're too good for this fucking loser You need to you need to have a little self-respect yourself. You're a brilliant queen and very creative Come to skank fish. You'll find your classic man. Come you might fucking be your I have a lot of thinking you do One more time for Abby and John everyone Nice I just want to say that I only get I only get like eight or nine trick-or-treaters every year. So you know what I've become I've become the full candy bar full candy bar house. Yeah, it is straight up rich. Yeah Wow if you don't think you're fucking making them look bad, but I'd be honest with you I just do a focus that the price difference is minimal. I mean well it depends on how many if you like what I was a kid It was like non-stop trick-or-treaters all to the entire neighborhood non-stop We get like eight or nine kids still got a hand you got a grip of fucking miniatures But like kids don't kids don't even trick-or-treat like my son eats like five pieces of candy Fucking and try and create them No kids just like they're not into candy the same way that we were into candy-as-kids. I know I would be a porn dude I would be out until fucking like 10 o'clock at night until the So people turn their lights off and they're like do not come to my fucking door and out of a pillowcase full to the brim of candy Yeah, you can't whack off with fucking chocolatey fingers though Porns available now All right folks, let's take a quick moment and thank sheath underwear the only underwear that I'll ever wear my entire life For supporting the show I was there my girlfriend just but you only have one pair no I have a bunch and my girlfriend just bought me a six pack of other bullshit underwear true or not true Very true what I say take them the fuck away. I won't wear them. I refuse. Oh, you're not gonna tell me a hitter I won't I died into I didn't hit her. Well you it was oh, yeah, no, you didn't hit her But not too hard on you. Yeah, let's just say she won't become with any other underwear anymore Oh, it's so weird. 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The big J beard is pretty accurate Yeah, this is like an hour before this is great. It's actually a pretty goddamn good costume right now Where are you from my friend? He's village. He's very cool. So very very nice. That's where I live when I had that exact shirt And what are you doing for Halloween this year? Working then partying What do you do for a living? I'm a dormant man. We're a dormant. Yeah, upper west side Oh, I don't know if I should give too much out because I don't want to get fight Yeah, you don't get to come by and yell shit out of your fancy building you work at please that's fucking great You were banging old lady in the building Not for lack of trying but you've tried nice All right, well, well, I thought this was a great one as well guys give it up for And blue makeup on your face sucks. It sucks. You got to get that off later. It sucks You went for it. He did I'm saying he has to take that off later and it blows Now I'm able to say it's good blue jail because it's a good costume But blue jokers. It was based off of birds if it was dressed as the bird with like some blue big jokers in maybe some feathers on the arm What else the feathers would have been a beep a little bit more next up we have David and Jen oh, oh, they dropped right now. Where are they? Oh? Because they saw fucking Guys, you're crushing it. Why are you dropping? Because they saw their competition. Oh, it's because that priest got hit in the head by the cross Now you feel bad you piece of shit That would have been a great costume dude. Just a priest with a fucking smashed in neck with a cross on his head That's a good costume this year. That would be good. All right, so they dropped Next up we have Nurse Benny There's Benny I don't even know this was you Yeah, it's me who are you? You cerebral brawl cerebral brawl. I'm sorry I thought he was I thought he was Lewis at the crack of dawn No, I must cerebral pals wrapping alter ego kind of like a crack amico. I say yeah Yeah, so your cerebral cerebral Paul if if he somehow had more brain damage Yes, love it very cool. So nurse Benny. What are you doing for Halloween? I'm going to party, you know nothing crazy. You just mumbled. I don't know the fucking party. You know there's nothing crazy. Did you imagine going to a party? Would I mention it? Could you imagine going to a party? No, like today being a go to a party, but I did in my life Yeah, very rarely. I got kicked out of the woman because Kurt Metzger's dick hair could come into his leotard. Oh, yeah I don't remember that it's great story Well nurse Betty. I think this was a great costume as well. Thank you very much nurse Betty Next up we have Megan Holy shit, Megan Holy fucking moly mega yo Megan. He's saying that cuz of your titties. I won last year because of my titties Megan, this is how forgettable you are that I only remember your tits from last year Megan, I don't remember you buy your tits at all because my daughter's here Can we see you work a jackhammer? Sure So tell us about your costume. What is this? It's something I bought off a spirit Halloween last year when I couldn't find a costume. So you just yeah, you got a same costume No, I have like five costumes, but this was the only one my friend could grab because I literally landed from Chicago like an hour ago Oh, you still came out that's a good sob story to add to it. Yeah. What did you win as last year? What is it fucking tits? No, what's tits, but um, what was it? No, it was the guy with the He flies airplanes with the movie top gun. There you go top gun top gun. It's job you won with that I'm really just engaged with your tits last year You might have been single. You might have been single last year. I might have been single Remember we called her top gun and technically everyone voted so it wasn't you guys it was the whole group voted for me The whole group one of the audience. Yeah, you know, that's what we're doing today We're not we're we're gonna choose the top three Fuck Louis Louis said I can ask whatever I want so I want to know is that a shadow or your ariola coming out of the top of the shirt I'm gonna be honest with you looking at the camera. My daughter's here. It's a bra. Oh How bad do you want to win this contest really bad? Oh my god here suck everyone's dicks Like not right here, but yeah I think you're great, but I will say that you kind of a one-trick pony This double points. Thank you. Good job I would love to I would love to see you go further in this competition I guess we're just going to have, we have a very, Our decision ahead of us so this year's a little bit harder last year was weak, so I think that's why one no there We go. Well good for you. There we go Megan. Thank you very much. One more time for Megan. We'll tips when it this year Well all it takes is tips next up is blue Blue Hi blue. What are you Freddie Cougar? Freddie Cougar Swenny Krueger All right, we're out of puns So it's great Freddie Krueger obviously very cool. Where are you from Daran? Yeah, I'm from Jersey originally You're from Jersey very cool. All right, very very good. How are you celebrating Halloween this year? I'm going out with my best friend Titz Oh, your best friend is Titz. Yeah Did she commit you to dress up? Did she commit you to dress up for this? Yes, I'm like forced to yeah, so you're not even You're not even a fan of the podcast. No, I am a fan of the podcast, but I wasn't gonna dress up and I wasn't gonna But this is great. Are you about to do you and I mean this you are ahead of tits in the competition right now Sorry tits. Is that can I ask is that a package Freddie Krueger costume because this the the sweater looks great It's her so oh she gave you the costume that you're gonna beat her with all that rules stop. That is kind of awesome for some reason She goes don't worry about me these tits usually carry me She was here put this on cover your tits up completely That backfire in your face tits She pulled the fucking mean girl move and she was like here put on this fucking dumpy sweater I'm just gonna be tits again. I don't even care if I win. They don't even like tits here put this on me We love tits They're like J's daughter is gonna be there like don't even be weird with tits All right, well look you're doing great. I think you're you're pretty I think she just said she also has great boobs You said you have great sex though. Yeah, prove it prove it. Are they filled with the souls of all your victims? Tell your shirt off like Hulk Hogan. Oh my god. Oh, yeah What if she would have went what if she would have went the distance and had like the souls screaming in her chest? All my children Those were great tits and that yep, and I will say this is the site the psychology of a man She didn't technically show any more tits in her friend, but because she lifted her shirt to show her tits seems dirty I mean seems so much dirtier. She's in first place right now. I mean, what do you want me to say over the Over the fucking uh, maybe over over but we're not voted the audience is voting tonight So what I'm gonna say, but you're doing very good right now miss. Thank you very much tits. We great sit down Next up, we have Mike show your dick show your dick show your dick Okay, here we go All right, sir, so Mike what's going on? How are you doing? What's going on Mike doing pretty good all right So what is this costume right now? So I was thinking of Michael Lair the other day And I really miss him Michael Lair from Kyltony. Yeah very fish Kyltony one of the regulars He was the man We meet him in an on and ongoing Fucking battle back and forth for quite some time. Yeah, he said I look like a hot dog fucking asshole Oh mother fucker Well, I love how creative he was and how he would combine things So I was doing dishes a few weeks ago and I started laughing at the concept of Michael bear and he has the one wish willow And all he wants to do is steal a poor woman's autonomy But he cannot do to his ALS because he's so weak, and it's almost like a T-Rex trying to masturbate It's like it's such a tough dilemma to have to live with All right, look I love your costumes a boring explanation or something. Oh, yeah I haven't smoked a lot of weed, but I was what I know what he's doing So he's doing a pun so his Michael Lair, but he's Michael bear bears with the guy from obsession It rhymes. So yeah rhymes just end it there All the other shit you should have said it instead of Michael air a Michael bear So it's the obsession guy if he had the same affliction as the other guy Yeah, and he would wish girl is a girl at home right do you have a video you can show us of a girl pissing herself waiting for you to come home? I need to be that prepared Well, I would have pushed you over the top look I gotta be honest with you like This stinks we all hate it everyone in the room hates it Everyone hates it. I don't know. I don't I wanted to like it look this is Michael air the straight Okay, all right It's just you did you did too much It's a tracks you from Amazon you did too much now stop yelling at me Would you like the one? I would like to wish will I think I'm gonna wish for you to die tonight actually I Ordered too many by one wish will us for everybody to wish will a three wish will a four wish will a thank you. I don't fuck with booty I do I Do oh man, I thought this was a Tobler on Me too, that's what I thought too Good Tobler on for Halloween candy would be some baller shit Don't I might get Toblerones and give him out on Halloween. Oh, dude Full size chunkies you'll become the mayor of that tank. No, I love dude I I only time I've eaten junkies in my life has been on Halloween. I love a chunky. Yeah, not in raisin and a big square hard fucking brick-like bar Yeah It's Tobler was white trash Tobler do Toblerone but I told Barone and that's like and I've got I've seen my sons got in a Roshet or Roshet or Ferrer Ferrer Roshet Ferrer Roshet Ferrer Roshet We're just sorry. Is that sorry? Is that can you give me the He's got it for Halloween. He got it for Halloween. Yeah. Oh a three pack though would be cuz he got like a single ball That's baller dude a three pack of Ferrer or you can also go you can go retro and do like chuckles and lemon heads and shit Then you're a pretty dope too. No, nobody want no kids I understand that you like retro and the 80s are cool. No kids want lemon heads for that's crazy I thought we were gonna fun talk about candy. What the fuck did you attack me for your piece of shit? You like a bunch of dumb shit No, we're talking about candy for giving up on how we ended. What is your attitude today? We both flew this morning Lemon heads. What are you a faggot? We're talking about Ferrer Roshet. Yeah, Alex in there the fucking great Now don't eat no kids want lemon heads on Halloween. What? No kids want lemon. I would fucking get molested for a lemon head Alexander they want it. I don't want the great great. No, they don't want you don't want Mike and Iks if you give up Mike and Iks I have a black licorice. You're a fucking content. Yeah, that's just to keep your fucking grandparents alive But you're being you've good and plunnies. I don't know. That's what I'm thinking of good and plenty So what are you thinking Mike and I Mike and I started like for like 30 ones? Yeah, those are fine Those are above board and then not the lemon would be the sour Mike and Iks which are topped here Vantep or tropical fruit by the way, he's still sitting here. Look at this fucking way's got a L. S. He can't move He's got a kill Tony book. Yeah, a lame story about his costume A L. S. Come on folks a lame story break I thought he was I thought he was Reagan after going for a flip Mike you're probably not going to win, but you were you were fun. I appreciate the effort. Good job, Mike Mike Thanks for bringing an entire wheelchair with you All right, next up. I hope somebody in your life gets paralyzed so you have a reason So I don't want you to have to waste money, dude. I know times are tough man groceries are through the roof and things aren't getting better with the Stray or moose I hear next up is Okay, you're also big J. O'Coursen Okay, so this is our so so Mitch tell us about your costume. Who are you supposed to be what is this? I'm Jesus hiding as a priest Jesus hiding as a priest. Yeah Do you don't where's the effort? Why isn't like a child coming out from underneath your outfit? They traded me to another church Yeah, yeah, gonna be honest with you like that's a great point this costume if you if you would have lifted that up and there was a baby sucking your dick You would be fucking in first place right now. I don't know the message I think you went too far, but you're in top three. I mean easy top if you lifted that up and there was a baby attached to his crotch Everyone would have lost their fucking minds. I know you you just vade out of his head I got your prayer the other year. What happened? I remember when you were on the 23rd floor. I got you out of there First of all is the 54th floor you Hey, hey Steve is repented We don't talk about that anymore. You piece of shit, you know, I felt we should be giving them candy. I'm eating it Steve's just eating all the kids first thing I've eaten all day. Jay's taking candy for himself Sir Some for them a little for me. Where were you from it's by the way Jersey Jersey very cool part of Jersey you say Bergen County. Oh me too. Oh, yeah, look at that. Welcome. Did I just watch a video of somebody using a Tim Dillon AI voice to describe every town in Bergen County all 70 towns? That's the video that just exists in the world and I watched the entire thing in rule Anyway, dude, I don't think you're gonna get too far in this competition, but here's some candy one more time for match guys Okay Next up is wait not so you can't be in the competition. You piece of shit Which by the way the costume is good. Hey How many things do you want to lose on this show? I thought I got a pretty good costume. Thank you. You know some candy, but Yeah, I mean, why do you think you should be in the competition? I just dressed up just so I can show But you wrote the list and also you put yourself on the list other people the other interns you dressed up on there too Oh the other interns are also in this are you in this no? No, nobody else is in it. No, you're not competing. This is for the fans But not so you would have been in the top three. This is a great costume Easily top three there Next up we have gimmick. Why would you put gimmick in the You gave us no direction, so I figured he was that I look here's like I do you're not in the competition, but I need to know what you are I'm a dude dress as another dude disguise as another dude I'm Xbox doing the black face of Mark Henry from the nation segment It's ruffled some feathers that the everybody like how to strike upstairs People got mad at you upstairs. Yeah, apparently the kitchen strike and whatever Our interns aren't allowed to get us in trouble first of all What's going on right now? Strike because I was yeah, I didn't have all black face. You're all black. I've done a lot of three Fits of it all face you watch three fifths of it off. That was a solid bit That's a good bit. The kids trying he's learning he's getting good Yeah, and then like the waiter the one waiter gave me a shit upstairs everybody like what do they say? What are the waiter say to you? One of the way they just came up to me and I was outside was like that's Like fancy if it's too much. You know, you shouldn't be doing this boss. They bought us like you're not a wrestling fan So I understand but like you're right to be mad and then Joe made me a wash it off Joe made you wash it off because like the the kitchen got involved And I don't know what they're cooking smells like shit. I'll eat it. Hold on gee Mike. I'll say it all fairness Joe I already fought for him to stay Joe for for the sake of black face. Yeah. Can we get Joe Ferrari? I want to hear my first sentence Joe. I told Joe I go if it's causing a problem here I go just tell him to take it off. It's like oh you knew this was going up when I was in the green They go I go just don't take it up and but Joe Ferrari was like he's like no dude. It's like he gets the bit So he's like the thing is like ah, but it's okay. It's fine But who was having a problem the kitchen stuff? Yeah Gathered together it was like can you please get Joe Ferrari for me right now. I need to I need Joe I need to find out what's going on here Outside there's like seven Mexicans that are fucking refusing to work It's ice man, I'm rallying that again. I don't get it back We are the what we have the clap I don't know. I don't like it. We're probably playing something We're gonna to believe that out just in case I need YouTube, but no, yeah, I told Joe in the back I said the crap Joe So Joe we're finding out right now the kitchen was having an uprising over his costume. Yes Please just give us some background as to what happened here He was in blackface and a bunch of people were upset They're pretty mad the chef is like I'll fuck them up. I swear I never gonna fight you The chef was gonna beat your ass. He's a really nice guy They're just they're just having fun. I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention. And yeah, if anyone man I'm in red face up there not a single person no one cares Not one native on this dad Well, Joe that's crazy and we heard that you did get his back you tried to keep him in blackface I just I told him that but I I folded pretty yeah Now but I said I told you in the room I go if it's causing an issue tell him take it. Yeah, you were really cool Oh, thank you. Thank you. Oh, I think that's pretty good Joe got the bit no wait, not this one We got it. Yeah, easy man. We got to warn people first Can't just come out buddy. Look at your bracelet. What would all price? Uh-oh I know I'm eating no Ranna's easy for the resist deep Reese's piece of this is All right Yeah, thank you. Thank you so much. You know what I feel bad that you're out of the competition now I should be I I mean I need that 250 you're well, it's not happening You if you would have gotten beat up by the chef of the stand you'd be in the top three guarantee If I go fight him outside if you if you give your ass kicked by a tiny Mexican chef Ship it out of you, but if you buy you'll be at least in fourth is we have a couple more people here up next We have Lexi Sexy Lexi Sexy All right, so Lexi what's what's going on here? Come up here drop out. You were gonna drop out Good for you to drop out. This is great. It's a walrus Lewis, you're such a simp You're like really great job. Nice. You said great. You know that's nice. It's fucking pajamas It's a Facebook advertisement Listen to me. It doesn't matter. We're just gonna try to see your tits. Shut your mouth. Jay There's a chance you'll show or kids So Lexi Things close up. How does it open and close? It's the closure on that thing The closure on that thing so Lexi how are your tits? That's really what we're wondering. I'm saying they're very small they're small tits But small tits can be good Like small tits. It's a lot of walrus I can't compete with Abby or the elder girl now Abby and Tits one and tits too. So where are you from Jersey? You're from Jersey's well. I'm a Jersey fan's here It's great. Cool. And I was I was I was like asking girls this question. How did you hear how did you find out about the Legion of Skanks? I was dragged here by my friend shoving. You were dragged here. You have no idea what this even is You feel like an asshole right now Not yet You're so unwelcoming the people Thank you for being here. No, fuck you lady. Show us your tits. Oh go on. Oh, we got it It could be a new fan Lewis Steve. You're the great area. The worst part about those outfits is she has to shit naked later I just went pee and actually pretty hard. Oh, yeah, wait. Hold on. Tell us about that slowly It's really hard We'll brought you here. Who's your friend that brought you here? The guy in the hat over the guy in the hat back there Hell yeah, thank you for bringing a new fan and you have an outfit on He doesn't have an outfit. He just made you dress up and made you dress like a walrus He was like now. I'm good He's like, let's both get dressed up as big dumb animals And he showed up with no outfit on. Yeah, we picked her up from a halfway house Yeah, all right one more time for Lexi Lexi here. It takes a day job Lexi Get some candy Lexi. Thank you Next up, wait a minute He worked for us. Come on Dayblind Mike. Dayblind Mike. Can this be allowed are we allowing this? I don't actually want to win. I just wanted to show off my costume. What is your costume? I am the Rogan sphere. You're the Rogan Traveling aimlessly with no vision We are we are all orbiting the Rogan sphere. I think this is pretty. This is a great costume He doesn't technically work for this show What thank God is he allowed Can you imagine if I go, hey Mike never make me look fat. He's like, he has no idea what anything was Everybody looks fat. Um, should we allow him in the competition? He doesn't even want to be any sick. Yeah, I just want to show up my costume. That's a great costume. You just want some candy. You just want some candy, my friend. All right, and our last person entering the 2026 Legion of Skanks, Halloween costume competition is Chico. Chico. Nice. All right, Chico. Hell yeah, dude. Chico, what's up, man? What's up? What is it supposed to be? Pizza Hut. [LAUGHTER] Oh. That's usually the reaction. I thought I swore I was going to be a Vietnam War rep. Yeah. I thought it was Charlie coming out of the bush. I wouldn't be smiling as much. Charlie coming out of the bush, the pizza Hut. Yeah, I may pop. So you're a hot and there's pizza inside of you? Yeah. Cheeses. It's a extra pepperoni for you, Jay, if you want it. You should give him a-- That's what it was pretty nice. I like guys just showing their tits showing the win. We should make this the only place in the world where guys showing their tits get you something. It's never gotten you out of a ticket into a bar for free. This should be the place where you show a guy. You show your tits like so we something. You get like a fun-- you can do 10 times. You get a free drink or some. This costume fucking stinks. Yeah. This is the bad one. But you get-- Jeff who's mad about Blackface, why he ignores the rights hat? Yeah. Yeah. Interesting, right? You're not going to win this competition, but you do get one punch on your punch card. Yeah, I mean, I don't know what else to ask this guy. I mean, this is probably not going to go too far. But it's creative. No, I've lost $250 for that costume, dude. You have to give us $250. Here's some candy, sir. Thank you very much for being in the Legion of Scance Competition. Where do you find the fucking hilarious, awesome racist hat? We're going to-- He's dressed like the title of a lot of fusion restaurant. Amazon will just sell you a fucking rice hat? That's awesome. All right, so I mean, guys, let's talk about who our top three is here, because we're going to give it. We're going to leave it to the audience right now. I think unquestionably-- Delta. Take it to Jamaica. Take it to Jamaica. Take it to Jamaica, Abby. Guys, we're going to have it out. [APPLAUSE] I thought Blue J. Oakerson was a good one. I thought-- [INAUDIBLE] Clown was a good clown, but it was once again a little bit not that creative. I think that-- I mean, this costume is so fucking terrible. This is just so missed the mark on everything that we're about. Jesus Christ, guys. And hell, but I'll tell you what, if we give them the money, she might be like, yo, if I let you fuck me, can I have it all? [LAUGHTER] All right, so I also liked-- I also liked Blue J. Oakerson. I liked Tits too, the Freddy Krueger. We told her she'd be at the time. Tittie Krueger? Yeah, that was Blue. Let's see, anyone else would be like us? No. No. That was all the ones we liked. I mean, I think Sober Brawl was good. Sober Brawl. Sober Brawl. I would tell our finalists, Sober Brawl, get up here. Blue J. Oakerson, get up here. Freddy Krueger, get up here. And take it to Jamaica. So three. We'll do four. That's fine. The audience is going to vote anyway. You know what, too? You're right. We make the vote. Give me a piece of candy. Take some candy, my brother. We're going audience applause only. And only vote for the one you want to win. Guys, only clap for the one that you want to win, all right? Can't clap more than once. All right, we'll go. There we go. Thank you very much. Sorry, we'll go. Stop moving. You. You have the microphone. All right, we're going to go just down the line right now. Ladies and gentlemen, if you-- And by the way, you can do anything you want to do to make this audience clap, by the way. If you guys-- I said it already. I can quip on command. I'm just saying whatever you want. So only clap for the one that you want to win $250,000 cold hard cash courtesy of Body Brain Golfi. If you think it should be blue, Freddie Krueger. All right, clap your hands. If you think blue J. Oakerson should win, you got booed. Some of the noise was the boo in the back. They don't watch the show. They don't watch the rex. They're not-- they're not-- they're not real asses. Look, that's a great costume, sorry. Don't make-- don't let anyone make you feel bad about that. Clap your hands if you think the ticket to Jamaica should win. [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] That's so easy. And last but not least, clap your hands if you think it's a terrible brawl should win. I think it is very clear. Your winner is the ticket to Jamaica. Abby, you won $250 in cold hard cash. What are you going to spend the money on? Look, I can't get to Jamaica. A ticket to Jamaica? Yes, I love it. Ladies and gentlemen, one more time for Abby. Lovely, Abby. They'll set you up with that, guys. What a great show, holy shit. What an unbelievable show. We thank our amazing guest, Zach Amiko, for hanging out with us. Everybody makes a noise for Zach. Amiko's Zach Amiko's morning show, Morning Zoo. Midnight's book show, Lewis. What the-- you're fucking out of your tree. Nice, man. What the fuck's going on with you? Wild card today, dude. Make sure you watch his half-hour special available right now on YouTube. Cup it up for Zach Amiko. We'll catch you guys later to speak on the Friday to hang until next time. Peace. Woo! You've been listening to the Legionals Gang's podcast with Big J-Operson. Did you suck it? I think I would instinctually suck it. Think with three scenes. Let's be fucking over, Lewis. Lewis Gomez. Lewis Gomez, your father's daughter. Lewis J- Gomez. You're trying to watch a retard-drossed, wassick, that's hilarious. I'm sort of known as a point card of podcasting. Being a fat gay guy is so fucking awesome. And comedian Steve Ranna Zeezy. The Legionals Gang's podcast.