Your Fingers are Rivers of Intention with Trixie and Katya

shut the fuck up love you ladies oh from the bold and the beautiful bold and beautiful you probably get the weirdest shit i'm so sorry damn they probably get like dog ears and like skeletons and like weed gummies and stuff oh my god i always forget that the bold and the beautiful exists i also forget that yelena zamolachikova is a real person who probably despises me it says love you ladies i love that your fan mail is getting redirected always rachel rose oginski oginski casting associate that's so funny because i get all those actresses w2s i get their 1099s i have to pay them um wait wait wait i got it before we start before we start well we're started i have been doing i have been learning you an activity that is so basic and so embarrassing i almost didn't want to share it learning how to type correctly i think i told you this on the phone the other day mary let me tell you i'm i was a hunter and a pecker you don't have the hunter gatherers back in the day yeah back in the day i was a hunt and pecker you hunt and peck you look and you and you you don't look at the screen like you know what i mean that's what they call it um so that was me all throughout our well my life in our two books best-selling books by the way um hunt and peck hunt and peck embarrassing so now i'm you know how did you write papers in college hunt and peck that's fucked up girl but it's but it's here's the thing though if it's not as if like my peers were doing this right that's right this was this was the 90s you had to think about shit and you nothing came that quickly it wasn't like the papers in your brain and you just needed to like you know load it onto the page no you know what i mean it was like you just had to think of a sentence oh that sucks erase it go back you know what i mean it was like i wasn't a stenographer is what i'm trying to say we had to take keyboarding in sixth grade but honestly my middle school experience was when like msn messenger like really hit and so you would go home and type to your school friends all day i did that and so in class we had the stupid classes to learn a s d f j k l s and then i would go home and type to your friends and then you accidentally become good at typing yeah like i never tried i know it's like speaking a language it's like it literally did you know peppermint uses peppermint uses t9 to text what the fuck is that like like determine like put the number multiple times to hit like c and then swear to god swear to god wait i don't want to air her dirty laundry but to the name believe the name are you fucking kidding me girl let's does she also like fax all of her invoices in like like what in the fuck does she have cable i'm calling her dial up i'm calling that is wacky jack peppermint peppermint damn peppermint peppermint i know peppermint oh one of the first drag queens i ever saw um she probably blocked me i hope she has what a cunt i hate that shit hello i almost started talking hello hi leave a message it's so diabolical i know i hate that yeah um but wait did i hear we called peaches christ a um a gossip on the pod and she called me and she was like i heard that you said that i was a gossip i said you're doing it now you heard she's so fierce um i love it but uh yeah what's the prognosis on you getting good at typing is there a goal so okay let me let me let me run your throat because i'm like thousand pound friends they lose the weight and then they have like a coming out party where they are you gonna have like a typing party or no i'm gonna have like well i'm gonna write the great american novel in three and a half days no so basically let me tell you something let me baby baby honey i need you to look and listen to understand what i'm talking about like oh i'm working on my tan i lotion up okay i lotion up and then my body becomes very slick and it's it's semi-sensual i wear very scantily clad undergarments and then i perch erect at my computer now i start with the very basics of course i'm talking uh d and k that's what we're working on this lesson d and k in space d and k d and k all the placement of the fingers i haven't even i haven't even gotten to all the letters yet can i give you some tips no yes helpful ones is keeping the wrist high well i have to i know but it's so um chair posture huh like being the right height and everything from it is good too it's essential this is what i have to do also macbook suck when i wrote our book they suck thank you sorry i wrote it on my gaming pc so i could sit at a real chair with a real keyboard that clacks and like you realize i'm three seconds away from ordering a typewriter from him mary i like i just i want to clack and i i i can't have i make so many mistakes keyboard pair to the macbook if you like the clacking girl they have my tick tock well typing club gives you the clacking but it just puts it in there typing club oh it's fabulous it's free is it like i think it's like duolingo for typing is that what it is it just teaches you how to use the keyboard it's really wonderful and fabulous and they should give me i've already bought their subscriptions so they might as well sponsor us or whatever but this keyboard i recently upgraded to this wireless keyboard and mouse combo i just found let's hear which keyboard sounds the best to you that sounds like tap dancing i love the one on a typing club i like the sounds they use it's kind of it's kind of like a typewriter you like creamy no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no it's kind of like a typewriter but it's kind of like a typewriter you like creamy no that sounds like because it sounds like tap dancing that does not sound like fingers this sounds like feet i love that well anyways the the sounds they have on typing club are fabulous and i literally just so the first two hours i'm telling you it's peppermint oh oh i'd ignored the call fuck perfect to a transom in 2025 how dare you girl i'm sorry i would we how are you girl i'm good girl what's going on girl katya's we're on the pod and katya's learning to he doesn't know how to type with a computer very fast and we're talking about texting i said i think that peppermint uses t9 is that true it's the truth talk about it bitch why do you like it i love it because it uh it allows me to do one-handed typing so like just holding my phone in my one hand and then type just with my thumb rather than two hands you know two two thumbs um and what's the other hand doing yeah what's the other hand do i make a frozen pizza usually punching somebody in the face i don't know eating something whatever um but the uh but i also on my phone have um it's not only t9 because regular t9 is like multi-tap meaning you have to like push like yeah like multiple times yeah but i also have predictive on so like it predicts the words just like it does probably on any other keyboard so like if i was going to type the word love instead of having to type five five five six six i just type five five four eight three and then it just types the word love i see what you're it kind of like put ninety nine percent of the time gets it right probably oh yeah it's not the only time it doesn't get it right i'm sure it gets the right the same amount of time as people who use the qwerty keyboard um but i also but i mostly if i'm typing a lot or if i have a lot to say then i'll use voice text and that's where it goes wrong well girl i just had to get confirmation on the t9 thank you for representing the t9 community thank you for uh all t9 is valid love you girl love you bye who was that her t9 was valid her t9 i just think of her being like i'll tell you exactly why t9 is fierce um she's right though i mean if you're not having to do five five five like that to me is like peppermint we got to get you out of the butter churning we got to get you out of the prairie yeah it's very you know yeah yeah but she's very 2002 well i saw her in the year i think it was 2000 must have been two no it actually could have been no i swear to god it actually could have been that long ago um no but the the the first day what the first it's like with any discipline that's like your first day of anything yeah you're not gonna be an expert right that's why you're there but because of because of like 40 whatever years of or 30 or something years of uh incorrect muscle memory right girl it was like i had just gotten legs for the first time and i was like i was like two books in by the way yeah i was like ariel like with that like whoa what do i do with these you know it was so it was so discouraging it was so humbling it was so embarrassing it was so rotten wretched and ruthless and i have been diligently um like spending time in spite of my extremely busy schedule i have been carving out the time to devote to this activity so i think i've been doing about three hours a day and yesterday or last night was the first time i got a whole fucking thing error free and do you realize i almost screamed at the top of my lungs like out the window just like do you watch tv while you do it no no i just you sit silently and keyboard yourself uh yeah i sometimes i'll have a musical piece on something by mozart or um chopin but i don't watch tv because i i suppose i know i can't right i could hear the tv but i like listening to some tammy brown music i feel like that would be counterproductive to type incorrectly but like the it's it's i like the hearing of the clickety clack um girl stresses me out this the the the the the challenges and how fast they want you to go stress me out so if you flop they make you do it again um no you just get an error sign you can you can delete and go back or you can just keep going it's it's very helpful typing club is they eat how many hours a day are you devoting to this about two to three are you lying no no i i enjoy it like i'm having a blast because now now that i got one fucking lesson right i'm like i'm the king of the world right i mean now i can actually envision it's like when you get your when you get your first kick up into a handstand or you get your first like standing back tug you're like oh i could be a gymnast yeah you know what i mean i also think i mean unironically i think that this will um shave off time in your life when you have to write something again which is never which is never yeah i'm never this for who when do you think you will do you think that you're paul sheldon no but do you know that i use my computer quite often to look oh you're right yeah and i don't want to be like i don't want to be a hunting pecker i don't want to be helen hunt you know i don't want to be a miss pecker do you ever swipe text do you ever swipe never in my life i got into it for a while never in my life not once it is fast i feel like it's the devil's work it's diabolical i don't get her yeah i mean with my fingers with my thumbs yeah i could write i mean like everybody else on this fucking earth but i hate that right um i do i really really really like um like a very well um uh functioning voice to text because i like enunciating like a faggot hello everyone i am so pleased actually whispering works best i found hello yeah like if my duolingo if it wants me to speak i whisper accurate and it works yeah it's like hi tricksy i'm wondering how you're doing if you have two hours on friday to go over some details for the next shoot we're going to do period i'd really love to get this in the bag tomorrow period perfect sue ellen we need that qed report yeah yeah i am right on top of that rose period yeah no the whisper i love the miss whisper do you think that i'm right on top of that rose like i remember old gays telling me about like mommy dearest are we are we speaking of a black and white relic when we tell the young gays i'm right on top of that rose that's a good idea yeah is our um do they have tina bring me the axe are right on top of that rose or like no wire hangers right um i don't know but i what i do know is that i stand by the fashion montage in that fucking movie miss sue ellen crandall yeah on her way to become a corporate drone the earrings baby the the the intricate hairdos the updos the the the power clashing jacket with the turtleneck oh it's just like for the 90s you know when it was kind of tough fashion wise sometimes it was that and then rose lindsey always gave it to you with that incredible page boy with all that weight and volume um have you gotten these targeted like reels that are the people getting the eye color change surgeries with the contact lens just inserted into the skin girl you want to talk horror i every time one comes up i have to watch it and i watch it pissed pissed off the reveal of these people having dorothy's boutique sort of 34.99 halloween shipment fucking um uh demonica or exotica or gothica lenses it's diabolical it's 45 year old dusky gentleman saying give me the ice blue eyes with the bloodshot red white well that's what i get into i want this full sclera black with a black eye it's fierce girl it's fierce i am a person i am a person who gives less than any shit about eyes like it needs to be investigated david boranis and bones needs to get down here scully and molder every tv yeah colombo get down here yeah uh jessica fletcher matlock please yeah both of the ones the old one and the new one it's crazy the comments are like you need to stop doing this to people yeah the comments are like it's flagrant it's gonna stop it's flagrant it's so insane too it's like i look back on our years of like using those crazy contacts for a dramatic drag effect it just looks ghoulish and weird but it's not even always successful for the dragoons so what about it's frequently not and i understand what it can be uh helpful in that it because your lashes for example and your heavy dark makeup you can see your eyeballs on the stage sometimes you can't but these people are human beings going to nine to five bank jobs and what have you and they look like they're in a like a low budget alien movie it's so wild i don't ever give a shit i have never given a shit about eye color or eyes in general like the most amazing eyes who cares you don't fuck his eyes that's what i get what i don't get is looking in the mirror and like dark there's a lot of things people could do if they wanted to change up their look hair outfits injectables veneers yeah a facelift a tan a tan diet ears pin backed it's a gold tooth like give me the good old hollywood boulevard permanent lenses and then the follow-up they're like how are you loving it they're like honestly it's incredible and they're sitting there with their eyes look like two little m&ms it's so fucked up it's fucked up girl weird make it stop i will i will i will devote my life to that i'll stop working for pita and i'll i will i will focus my efforts on no more color contact eyeball surgeries it's i don't know what it is what's the what's another what's the equivalent of it getting like um is there equivalent because it is so outrageous it's so bizarre and it's so fraudulent what what's another thing like um i don't it would the british the british veneers when it's like one big white tooth where it's just like a porcelain retainer yeah like maybe like that do you speaking of that do you know where i can get a feel a very realistic orthodonture made of um brace teeth with braces because that's going to be my new drag look oh doctor son probably do it for you really yeah so you can do cosmetic work or like something you put in and take a flipper yeah with braces the old-fashioned kind she has every kind of dental knowledge you could ever get fierce yes i also looked i looked into sedation dentistry because baby it's it's i'm long overdue and i i mean wow front page news nobody a person doesn't like going the dentist you know awful though but like i want to be i want them to just put me in a coma right put me in a coma it sucks even the cleaning i'm a little overdue for cleaning i even even the cleaning it's the cleaning yeah when the dental hygienist takes out her nazi um like a suitcase full of of torture instruments the rifle with the bayonet on the end that's how they clean your teeth yeah it's like we don't have picks or like um little water hoses also give up because it's like i have i floss every day what happens you go in and they're like are you flossing yeah yes i am yeah well and that's another thing it's too it's like you can lecture me you can but you can't torture me at the same time you gotta pick a lane you can't do lecture and torture plus now that i'm a little bit more aged and have a teeny bit more um ability to kind of stand up for myself i am not you know i can lightly touch the hygienist and say this is extremely painful right and i'm but i want to leave would have stayed there and let them pull the tooth and be like it's great love it the old me would have stayed there tears like like uh soaking the chair with sweat gripping the thing and then just tears coming out of my eyes that was like last year yeah crazy but not the new you the way it changed everything the tan it was the hair is kind of molly in danger girl autumn sunrise no no no the cut the bowl cut she has in that movie oh molly jensen yeah molly jensen yes but i wish you said autumn sunrise oh my god i wish though because she had that kind of um my mom had that haircut my my mom's sister had the haircut it's like it's the it's kind of like a tapered fade on the that woman also has it in is it hannah marx or um single white female yes right baby yes she really has it rigid fonda yeah mary that's the kind of shit i'm like did you see they're redoing hannah marx's cradle how do you feel i don't feel great i don't feel great i don't feel great about it at all i and i don't rebecca do i saw a thing with rebecca dorm the morning how she was she just found out about it and i'm like i don't feel great i don't feel great i don't feel she wasn't approaching anything not that she needs to be approached it's not you know if they're not thinking of redoing the movie or whatever but i gave her the cameo no shit make her be the friend uh you know the friend of but i think it's a series yes or the gardener or the gardener but because there's an iconic scene that is extremely disturbing it's just a dialogue between uh peyton flanders and um the i forget what his name is wilson maybe the gardener um where she says a very uh prohibited word and it's like i remember that she's talking to the gardener yeah and it really right before she frames him for like molestation yes it really cements her villainy she's evil yeah she's evil and it does its job the viewer goes oh this bitch is awful is it crazy yeah it's extremely impactful it's it's like when it's not like on a comedy a stupid comedy but you know it's seth rogan or whatever or whatever where it's used to be like just willy-nilly as an insult this is a very it's like oh shit this woman is evil i doubt we're going to get that kind of edge but maybe we will i don't know that'll probably go crazier or you think it'll be like megan where it's like super gay now i hope not because i love the hand that rocks the hand that slays the cradle diva it's all gonna happen during pride oh no the pride campaign the hand that rocks the cradle float in the weho pride parade what would the real gaze of weho rocking a cradle on top of it no the fab five it's a breast pump the fab she rigged the greenhouse and she rigged the greenhouse for me i love that movie the last episode of all the beautiful when you had the longer blonde wig on um somebody because you looked like fashion superstar carson kressley oh yeah love that that's i take that as a very good compliment can i tell you some other things that happened yes i haven't seen you in so long it's true i went up to wisconsin for my birthday oh happy birthday by the way i did not get you a single gift totally okay i turned 36 30 and i was supposed to go for the full weekend but as you know i got a very exciting television thing oh yeah you got an oscar nom yeah no yeah but i got this tiny little tvg job that was so worth staying in town i love the show so i was like i'm doing it so i end up taking the red eye to green bay i've never red eyed to green bay being at the chicago airport at like five in the morning was weird i don't know what it was i think it was on american um so i get i get my rental car and i asked for a volkswagen jetta and they go we upgraded you it's a hyundai sonata what that's not an upgrade but it was can i say it's a ferrari testarossa good gorgeous lane just gorgeous safety features um it had the thing intuitive what do you call it where it'll it'll cruise control until you get so close to a car and then naturally slow down i was barely driving fierce i just had both nipples i was wired both nipples hooked up wired battery yeah yeah yeah um so i get to up north in wisconsin the cabin i got on airbnb am i so big that the chair is just disintegrating you're huge damn um i get up there and i guess i didn't quite pay attention because up north in wisconsin the two types of rentals are either at one tiny little cabin with like one toilet one bedroom or a mcmansion massive estates yeah not mcmansions like sprawling estates i accidentally got the sprawling estate so i get there how many square feet two entire buildings two different buildings sleeps 15 what yes so i get there it's four of us right me my friend my brother his girlfriend and we're all there and i realized quickly i'm like this is it's maybe a quarter mile from the street i grew up on that trailer and for the weekend it was three grand i was like damn dan we live in the wrong fucking house in this neighborhood because apparently some of these are fierce rentals but it was gorgeous it was a great week went on little walks went to bars went out to eat um had a wonderful time it's always good to go up there and just check it out kick the tires make sure everything's going going good kick the tires love going up north silver clip wisconsin gorgeous gorgeous place to visit picturesque epic vistas well my dream was to go to the marionette county fair the marionette county fair now what's the dry there it's in wasaki wisconsin i used to go every summer and i was like you know what i want to do for my birthday this year i want to check out that fucking bear loved it went there big pig pig pig contests yes so 4h is huge so there's all these animal barns get to see the baby animals the chickens minimoos what minimoos what's a minimo a small cow no no i mean micro cow it's true it's true um love to see the goats anytime it's a black goat instantly you i always think it's instantly evil the witch movie where the goat is evil philip dr philip dr philip dr philip phil um black philip yes black so whenever i see a black goat with the horns i'm like that's the satan goat sure sure very reasonable love to see the chickens love to see these children who know everything about animals like little miss fames who are like standing next to their cage with their chicken with the blue ribbon and being like well because they probably grew up on a farm right right yeah also i got there's always this 4h who's always like that it's like a uh a girl wearing a crown in a prom dress who's like the queen of the fair what are the 4hs i hospitality homosexuality yeah uh hobo is hvac and hvac and homoism yeah yes um hoboism um so then i go in and there's having a part of the animal the kids all show the animals and they give awards like best in show basically yeah but it's farm animals right yeah so i'm watching and there's one thing where they all have costumes on so they're all wearing costumes and they're all wearing costumes and they're all wearing costumes the animals dressed up and the owners dressed up in like coordinating costumes and one of the kids was like in drag in my hometown with like a pink pony club goat my brother and i are watching and i go he goes what do you think i said and honestly reminds me of drag race because it was like all these people lined up like thank you ladies we've heard enough and it's all these like elementary school kids with like truly a billy goat with a clown wig on god it was so i love that shit anybody have a lizard or like a long helmon no it's more like farm animals yeah so i didn't stay around to see who goats chickens etc but also love going up there because everything's affordable like the parking at the fair guess how much the parking at the fair was free two dollars yeah there you go love it parking at beyonce hundred bucks love to run into people from high school see what's going on there see who's died stuff like that well on that on that note i am always fascinated by the gay the post um the gay the high school reunion for the average gay person especially for the person who has not was not out in high school you know what i mean like you revisit sometimes your success success story i would consider myself somewhat of one but no one cares about me up there no but they're all like a lot of them are like either dead or they got a wife or husband they hate or their children or they're like alcoholics you know what i mean it's like some of them peak in high school and it's a real like a real steep slope downward right it's always nice to go back and be like yeah i'm gay and i'm i'm more i think i'm more like someone some someone said someone someone like i was at the bar and i was like oh and they were like what are you doing in town i said well and i always specify up there i'm actually from here because if you're not of town everyone hates you really it's tourism but it's like we hate rich city yuppie people being like you don't look like a rich city yuppie person no but up there we call them shackers people who come on the weekends are doing tourism in the summer it's like on one hand we depend on it for business and the other hand it's like fucking city people come up here and something about city people in the country they act like they it's it's on unplowed earth and they can do anything it's littering it's loud music it's like like a group of city guys acting like they are better than everyone or you know it's very that littering should be a capital offense punishable by death shoot them chop the head right off um so then i'm talking to this bartender and i go she goes what do you do for a living i said oh i actually do drag she goes you said drag and not entertainment i was drunk oh so and then i go she goes there's actually some kid grew up a few blocks from here like some kid grew up over on boat landing 11 road who did the rupauls and i was like but but i mean is they don't know who i am but they've heard someone from there was on drag race that was you she was talking about no no no no no no no madame laqueer she's also no i'm just kidding she's also from we're all kind of madame laqueer in a way in a way in a way it was it was wasn't the destination it was the madame laqueers we met along the way great that sounds like the drag king the drag queen character in like a cw show in the widow von do can't get enough of that widow fondue the widow fun no not fondue widow fondue widow fondue little fondue is her son well there's there's there's there's the big fondue and then widow fondue but it was a fun trip and i love to go to the county fair or it was what if you're not a kid and you don't have kids once you see the animals unless you want to watch a tractor pull i was like well what now you know well you know you're not excited you don't turn up for the biggest pumpkin no that's not till a fall festival of course fall festival is in september i believe okay you love a hayride you fuck with a hayride girl haunted or otherwise we do haunted hayrides up there people with chainsaws that's coming out of the corn that's crazy terrifying that's terrifying they have the chain off allegedly it doesn't sound like that when i right it certainly does and there's plenty of gas in that thing when you're a kid and you're in your winter clothes on the hayride and nowhere in a mass comes out screaming legs dangling nowhere to run girl you're a kid and you're in your winter clothes on the hayride and somewhere in a mass comes out it's fierce it's fierce it's fierce burry scurred do you know what i did just last week did you buy the rv i went to camping world in sturdivant wisconsin and i test drove a bunch of stunning motorhomes tell me about it well i thought it was i had a bunch of ideas for what i wanted to drive but i thought what i really want to do is go somewhere where i can go in a bunch of them look at a bunch of them look at the specs And the more I looked at them, the more I was like, I want one of these. If I'm going to get rid of my condo, I want one of these big, horny motorhomes. The expandable ones like Will Smith has. Oh, yeah. So I got to drive one of the big Class A ones. I felt magical and powerful. You don't need a special license. You don't need a special license for those. Not if it's under 40 feet and under 26,000 pounds. Wow. So I was cruising down the highway in the giant motorhome. It was so conti. I have full body chills for the wrong reasons. You just described one of my gravest, most terrifying emotional nightmares. I loved it. It was a 2025, so it had a lot of safety features. Well, yeah, you're not going to die, but you're going to kill like four other people. Or rather, I wouldn't die. That's kind of what I liked about it. I'm like, you want to crash into my car? I want to be the perp, not the vic. Right. You're going to bounce off. You and your Volvo. It's over for you, bitch. You're merging onto that freeway with that fucking death machine at 20,000 pounds. The only reason I didn't make the move and buy it was because I have to figure out storage, because I need indoor storage for the winter. And B, I bet this is high season. I was like, I bet if I wait until fall, they'll be looking to cut a deal. Seller's market. Right, because everyone's buying it in the summer to go on vacation. But if you buy it before winter, get a good deal. And how much are these things running for? The one I was looking at was $200,000. Holy smokes. But you could get used ones. But I looked at six different used ones, and they all smelled used. Well, that's where a little potpourri dangle comes in. A little glade. You put it right on the vent. I just did that recently. The big ones are for people who are traveling. It's sleep six, because we got all our snot-nosed kids. The kid vibe's got to go. Yeah, or prolific serial killers on the lam. Right. Then I was in Milwaukee, and I drove around to all the different RV parks to tour them all and see what they look like. What's the vibe? The people who are part-time in RV are very. Very different than the full-time people. Sure. It's a very different vibe. Interlopers and then hardcorers. The hardcorers are a little more. Grizzled, ornery? They're on the lam from society, let's say. Milky eyes? Yeah. Yeah. I'm obviously aspiring to be a very part-time. So you're a city-slickin' interloper. City-slickin' interloper. And these people are about to harvest you for organs. For sure. When you're not looking. For sure. Damn. Fucking A. So I was really scared to drive such a big vehicle, and then it was thrilling. I loved it. I'm so happy that you love it. I would not be thrilled at all to do that. Camping World. Camping World. Not a great name. I mean, I guess it is direct. Like the name, what it is. It's a world of camping, you know? I'm obsessed with that REI store with the guy, the giant fish tank. He got in naked. Do you remember that? There was the big REI. Oh, fierce. Yeah, there's a huge fish tank kind of situation in an REI. Somewhere in the country. And he just jumped in. Teeny little penis. Love that. REI, the most Caucasian store. Driving. Listen, I just want to reiterate for the 685,000th time. Driving is so dangerous. But I love it. Yeah, you love the dangerous thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me tell you why, too. Some things I forgot about driving. Some things I forgot about are the peace in the car. Today, when I leave this set with you, which is, you know. You're having to drive me home, by the way. No. But to sit in the car and reflect on what I just did privately while I drive home is like such a missing punctuation of the day. Being in the car alone between, oh, going to the store, going to whatever. Love it. Also, buying big shit, putting it in your car and not needing to get help. Sure. And let me tell you, drive-thrus. Oh, I hate drive-thrus. Sonic. I hate drive-thrus. Culvers. Do you know how many times I had Culvers when I was in Wisconsin? I was stopping twice a day. When is Culvers? Sometimes I was just stopping for a Diet Coke because I love, you know, a nice, ice, big Diet Coke. And I felt like one of those cunts in the car eating chicken nuggets talking to TikTok. You know what I mean? Talking to TikTok? People love to eat in the car and talk. Oh, that's right. That's right. They do their. That's so sweet. Crashing out. What's that? These people need to elevate their definition of crashing out. What does that mean? Like, oh, I'm having a meltdown. I've hit my breaking point. I'm freaking out. But I'm filming. Filming it crisply and cleanly on TikTok. It's like, oh, my God, I'm crashing out. They didn't have my shade of foundation. It's like, girl, a crash out. I watch Netflix. I'm like, people kill their whole family. That's a crash. I also watch this other TikTok that was talking about, like. In all these. If you watch all these murder documentaries on Netflix, Hulu and the like, it boils down to, like, white men who won't divorce. So they just kill everyone like they're having an affair. Easier, softer way. Yeah. They're just like, I could never divorce. I guess I'm just going to have to drown my children and have my wife killed. Hey, listen, different strokes. Have you been. Do you get into Alien Earth? Did we talk to you about this? No, but everybody says it's so good. Oh, baby. We watched Alien 1. Did you? Great, right? Amazing. And then Alien 2, James Cameron. Don't really. Not a huge fan. Titanic. But, like, you know, he really goes. He really yanks that shit off. Like he. It's like you see one monster in the first one. You know, there you see fucking hundreds of them in this one. You see that big ass. You see that big ass nasty queen with all them fucking laying all them eggs. And it's all. The queen had the big head. The queen is Miss Nasty. Miss Nasty put some clothes on. You're not. You're gross. Don't walk out that hive without your clothes on. Right. Like bulbous egg. It's just so over the top. They got robots. They got synthetics. Because in the first one, I. When that guy ends up being a robot. I kind of forgot. Gagged. And I was gagged. Gagged. And the practical effects of his head sitting there talking. With the white. With the white blood. Cunty. White blood is so weird, too. Same thing in Aliens. Sigourney is so gorge. She's so good. Yeah. She's so good. She's so damn good. And this fucking. They got this bitch. Yutani on the new. On the new series where there's five corporations that like pretty much run the world. In this version of Earth. Oh, mama. She goes. Diva. It doesn't even begin. Do you need to watch all the movies? Because I think I've only seen one and two. That's perfect. OK. That's actually perfect. Yeah. There's not. There's really not a lot of new. I mean, there is new information, but it's not pertinent. And actually, I feel like it will. It will make this experience more enjoyable because there will be new discoveries that are actually cleaner and more concise and precise. You will love. It is hunt. They are turning it. When I was doing my horror movie binge like last month, I did. I watched Halloween one, the one you said you don't really respond to. But then I watched the three that are the newest ones. The Halloween Halloween kills on Halloween ends. OK. Because you don't really need to watch the middle ones. They cut them out narratively. And there's one that's really off kilter. The last season of the one that people. Yeah. Oh, are you talking about the season? The witch is like something else. Something else. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Something else. Well, I think I remember reading that they originally were going to just have it be, if anything, like an anthology series about different things that have happened on Halloween. Oh. But then Michael. Myers was so slay that they kind of got locked into that. Interesting. Like, obviously, they're going to do a Gladys prequel. Right. They said. Oh, really? Of course. They're going to milk that horror. Well, Amy Madigan, get her her Oscar. Yeah. No shit. She was great. You got to get behind Neve Campbell, though. They're going to do the horror Oscars. I have a list. Tony. Oh, she'd clean up her editor. I will do the voice, too, at the Oscars. Tony Collette. Hereditary. Hereditary. They're going to say some shit like that. Who do you think? What do you think your top five horror movies of all time would be? And say, but don't think about it too hard. Obviously, The Shining. The Shining. Yes. The Shining. The Shining. It eats. Yes. It eats. It's huge. Yeah. The Shining. Scream. Scream. Okay. Obby. And let's say. WALL-E. I'm just kidding. I don't know. Those are maybe the two I can think of. What about. Okay. Three more. Come on. The first Nightmare on Elm Street. That's definitely in my list. Is the Cunt Factory. Yeah. That's on my list. Can I say those? Does it have to be five? It has to be five or I'm going to kill myself. It has to be five. Oh, It. I mean. There you go. Any and all of them. There you go. Any and all of them. Oh, yeah. Mine would probably be Nightmare on Elm Street one. Candy Man. The original. Got it. It would be the. Don't you love Suspiria? I like the first one, but I don't like. I'm not. I don't. Not for it. I've only seen it once. Okay. Um, and I like, um, the, what is it? Maybe the, um, Hellraiser. The first one. It's pretty nasty. And then I just rewatched that too. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's scary. Love that redhead woman who's wrecked with sexual desire. Yes. With the whore makeup on. Yeah. Cause it's horny. It's horny. It's super horny. Clive Barker is a very lusty gentleman. Very lusty. And I would fuck that guy who is skinless. Frank? Yeah. Absolutely. And the second one, when he comes out of the bloody mattress. Cunty. Cuntalicious. And she's kissing him while he has no skin on. Yeah. That's me after a chemical peel. I, you watch that and you're like, the Cenobites aren't even bad guys. No, they're just travelers. The human's opening this thing. Yeah. They're just, they're just making their way through the universe. Boop. Bippity boppity boopity. And then. I can show you what. Yeah. It's, I, I rewatched the, um, the, the, the new one and I'm like, God, this, like what was going on? What was going on here? Like, what was going on here? I, I thought it was, I thought Jamie Clayton as the new pan was very intriguing, very intriguing, but like. Like, the story was, like, so toothless and kind of nothing. It was so weird. So, so weird. The first one's very sexual. It's very sexual. It's very disturbing. It's very gory, nasty. Love that final girl, too. That girl from that first one is excellent. And then, what was my fifth one? Her dad gets killed. I mean, all these people getting killed in her house, she doesn't even know. Boop. Anytime you're moving in life and someone cuts their hand, it's like an empty house you just bought. And there's blood on the floor. You have to move. You have to move. Because that's going to be the awakening. That's going to be the portals opening. The chains flying out of the walls up the pussy. See, that's, like, that's the kind of shit. When there's chains flying out from hell and then ripping my skin apart, that's when I'm really going to reevaluate my choices. It's kind of gross, too, the way the chains grab the skin and stretch it. It's disgusting. But also, in that first movie, that guy's looking. I mean, obviously, the metaphor is also, like, sex and drugs, right? It's some kind of extreme high that he's chasing with, like, pain and pleasure. Sensation. Yeah, so then there's these kind of priest figures who have the belief that pain is pleasure, etc. Maybe the book is more together, but the movie, I don't. I mean, the story doesn't hit me. The book is just a novella, I believe. I think my number one would be, The Exorcist. Whoa. Because it's still shocking. And you love exercise. Yeah. It's still as shocking as it ever was. Lick me! Lick me! Forcing. Taking her mom's head and putting it in her bloody puss that she just, like, jabbed with a crucifix and saying, lick me, and then throwing her across the room. That was the movie that people were leaving. Have you ever heard, like, the interviews of people leaving being like, it's obscene, it should be banned. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Jesus, you see people get so fucking weird. But the book is fabulous, too. I mean, I read the book, and I tore it through. It's a page. Great beach read, by the way. It's, like, fierce. Great William Peter Blatty or something like that. It's a great book. Beach read. Beach read. Tearing through that shit. Lick me! Lick me! Yeah. Do you know what she did? Your cunting daughter. If you had a child and they got possessed. I mean, you have to call the exorcism. Shotgun. Shotgun right to the head. I'm not calling. I'm calling the two actors from The Conjuring who play Ed and Lorraine. Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga. Vera, get down here. Okay, get the Ouija board. Let's go. I'm getting Otome Brown. Oh, for sure. Because she could talk him out of anything. I recently re-watched Ghost with my friend Joseph. He hadn't seen it. Did he love it? He loved it. Did he cry? I don't know if he cried. I cried. And when she says goodbye, it's too much. When she. It kills me. It's when she rolls the jar of the penny down the stairs and it breaks. I lose it. It's just a wonderful, simple image. And it's so lonely. And it's so sad. Her whole life is fun. Do you think she ever gets over it? Do you think she ever dates? I think she absolutely does. And I think she and Otome are like BFFs. If your partner dies, husband or wife, do you think it's an act of love to never date again? Some people do that. Or do you move on? They would want you to be happy. But the real crime of that movie is that Sam Wheat didn't let her keep even a million of that check. I don't care if it was blood money. You terrorize this black woman's life for like three months. Where's her reward? And let your late wife or your widowed wife have a little cash. How about. What about half and half? A million to Otome. Also, it's a very. Do your research. You don't know these nuns. They could be grifters. Do your research. They could be seven-day Adventists. Or. What is it? Salvation Army. Hate the gays. Bummer. You got to do your research. If you're going to cash. You got a $4 million check, I say two goes to Molly, two goes to Otome Brown. Well. Are we going to do All-Stars? Are we going to do All-Stars recaps? I think we should, but I think we should wait until we like run out of things to talk about or we're on tour or like. Oh, really? Because I'm afraid of doing them all close together and then we're just another drag race. Recap podcast. All the girls reheating their own nachos. Is that what's happening? I don't want to do that. I don't want to. I think our lives are too interesting. I don't like regular nachos. So I don't want to reheat anything. And I have a lot of pride that we don't talk about drag race very much. Yeah, I kind of like that too. Okay. Okay. Well, bye. Bye-bye. Bye.