You'll Pay For This | Reading Reddit Stories

This episode of Red Stories is sponsored by DoorDash. Got you delivered, DoorDash. Hello, welcome to Smoshery's Reddit Stories. I'm Shane, and today's theme is hayback. That's right, it's all about vengeance. And I'm joined by two guests who are carefully plotting vengeance upon one another. Ian and Anthony are joining us. They're plotting it for years. Yeah, I got a bucket of rotten fish right above Anthony. I'm going to yank a bull. This whole buying back Smosh and running this company together. It's all just an elaborate plot to get payback on one. Is it payback on me for having left and for the six years? Are you waiting? What's going to happen at the six years? It's something that happened in high school probably. It goes, it probably goes way ahead. Yeah, there's a bunch of, there's a bunch of shit there. Oh sure, yeah. Maybe like one day you didn't give me a ride home or something. I had somewhere else to be. Tough. You're going to bring that up right now. It's curl friends and you're going to take out with God. These women, they just got to be made out with sometimes. How do we feel about vengeance? Revenge. I feel like it's probably not healthy. But I do love a good revenge tale. I love a good revenge tale as long as it doesn't involve me. Like I don't want to be the one on either end of it. I feel like at one point in my life I thought it would be so satisfying to get revenge on people that wronged me. But I'm like, how much of my brain power in life am I spending thinking about this? That I'm getting revenge on myself at this point. Yeah, not worth it. I think what is the, what is the phrase? Is like living well as the best revenge? Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Like being actually happy and moving on. Yeah. Yeah. I get that. I definitely, it's fun to play out the fantasy of revenge. Oh yeah. In certain cultures. But it's like like in L.A., the amount of times someone cuts you off on the road. And you imagine. Yeah. How could I get in the bowl? But it's like the safest and best option is for me to forget about this. Yes. Yeah. And live my life. Those people own guns here. I mean, I didn't even go there. Jeez. No, you actually, that is my brain. Whenever people talk about like, oh, if I was on the street and someone bumped into me or said something rude, I would do this. I'd be like, I'm not trying to get killed. No. I'm trying to get out of there. Yeah. I'm trying to. I imagine the types of stories we're going to read today are a little bit more about the calculated revenge. Right. Not like intense violence, probably more along the lines of petty swobbles, whatever. I'm excited to hear the stories that I'm involved in. I am very entertained by reading them. Have you ever taken revenge on anyone, Anthony? Taken revenge. Like maybe somebody messed up your Taco Bell order. Ooh, something. No, are you, are you eluding to something? It feels like you're eluding to something. No. Yeah. You're not talking about the time I spit in your food, right? That's not, you're not at that time. Information you just found out about. That's how you just found out about. I don't, I don't know. I mean, I don't think so. OK. At least nothing substantial enough to a stuck in my memory. I'm sure there are little things like, I don't know. Well, if it comes back to you at some point in this episode, feel free to bring it up. Halfway through the episode, I'm like, oh, yeah. Oh, my God. I smashed your tires. Yeah. Yeah, all my revenge is specifically against you. Yeah. Well, you brought up fast food, and that gets us into our first story. Wow. All right, good to see you again. This first story comes from petty revenge. It was supposed to a couple years ago. They write, "I got payback on an awful regular at my fast food job." OK, OK. So I, a 19-year-old girl, quit my crappy job recently at a fast food chain that has a certain arch and remembered this story, which I thought was funny. Wendy's. Yeah. Yeah. The one arch. Yeah. Well, the W is kind of like. The Taco Bell. Upside down arch. Oh, the arch. A bit of a bell. Up the bell. Yeah, there you go. Arches. They got to be more specific. Yeah. Unfortunately, this is a very true story. I know it's a bit ridiculous. We had these regulars that would come through the drive through nearly every day. And I was always the one handing food out the window. They were an older couple. And I was happy to make accommodations to make handing them food and drinks easier. However, it became increasingly difficult to allow their awful attitude towards me. For context, my branch of the restaurant was one of five in my town. But the rest were 20-ish minutes away. We were the worst rated as we were small, but extremely busy as a result and run by literal teenagers half the time. Lunch and dinner rushes were a mess as managers were more concerned with stats than actually running the place. Well, this couple would come through at our busiest time and order the same thing, shouting at the order taker, payment window, and me for how slow we were. Our small kitchen was unable to accommodate how busy we got. So wait times were often 300 plus seconds, supposed to be 120 seconds. Okay, so that's five minutes? Doing that quick math. Yeah, five minutes. Five minutes now, okay, so five minutes. You're waiting five minutes at a drive-through. That just seemed atrocious. That's not too crazy. But I think the thing is, when you sit in a drive-through, it does feel like time goes by so much slower. It is very true. It'd be interesting, I'm never going to do this, but it'd be interesting to like time it, like press a timer. Like when I point out, in and out, and the lines way down the road, it's like, how long is this actually going to be? I've seen some drive-throughs that have a timer. Yeah, I've seen that there's some. Oh, was it Del Taco back in the day? I don't remember. I mean, we used to go to Silicon Valley. Because I remember seeing a timer. Yeah. But I haven't seen it since, like, sacrament of time. I think they probably removed that shit. They're like, this doesn't need to be public knowledge. Yeah, we don't need to know. This is private. Yeah, but I think they moved pretty fast. So, they're operating at 300 plus seconds. Okay. Every time they'd yell at me for how busy we were, how slow we were, how their food would be cold, how it wasn't fair to make an old couple wait. And every time, yeah. And every way with the rest of us. Refinizing your age. And every time the man would ask for extra cream on his latte, if he didn't get it, he would become irate. I would do it for him because I'd learned to take the bullet for taking too long rather than deal with this guy. So much so, he would call me his creamy girl. Oh! No! No! With a shit-eating grin on his face, and every time I'd laugh but explain that it wasn't appropriate. On this day, I was maybe 16, 17. Oh, it's worse. Yeah, we were flat out busy, 600 plus seconds, when the cream couple arrived. Oh, God. I asked them to pull into a bay and we would bring the food out so we could serve the next customer whose order was prepared. He went ballistic on me, refusing to move, shouting at me, slamming his hands on the dashboard, classic temper tantrum. This went on for so long. I started explaining to my manager the issue who wouldn't take shit from the situation and she phoned the police to remove the guy. This is usually enough of a threat to get the customer to go, but not this time. He said something along the lines of, "Every time I come here, we have to wait and my cream melts. And every time we come here, you're working. You are an awful person. I'm not the kind of person to take shit from people. You get the energy you give. But up until now, I had been forgiving. So I blurted out while he was yelling at me. So, go somewhere else. It's called problem-solving, dude. He was stunned before lashing out again, explaining this place was his only option. And there was no way I could make him go anywhere else. So I said, "Want a bet?" "Late and extra cream in hand, I poured the coffee all over the roof and window of his fiat panda." Oh! Edit to clarify. I was going to pour it out the window, but he was parked too close. As I was thinking about it, I realized that I could safely pour it onto his car window and roof and not burn him, LOL. I then asked him again to pull around and his order would be ready soon and slammed the window. I then promptly burst into tears out of exhaustion and hate and began making my way to my manager to tell her my crime. The police turned up basically straight after. We explained what was going on while cream man was trying to open the window. They asked him to go and explained he was now trespassing if he didn't go. Long story short, the next thing I saw was this 70 plus year old man swinging at this copper before quickly getting put into the cop car, leaving his very frail wife still sat in shock. Lottayless. Did this man deserve to get arrested? Probably not. Was it appropriate for me to pour coffee on his car? Maybe, maybe not. You decide if I'm the asshole if you want. Either way, it felt good. Plus, I didn't lose my job, LMAO. And that's good. Because I feel like some of these things that she did. Yeah, directly on the windshield. But I mean, that shows that this manager's okay. Yeah. Edit. Some more of the crappy things this guy would do to explain my out of touch reaction. Yeah, for no reason. He would throw a temper tantrum if we were too busy to top up on his extra cream. If there wasn't enough cream, we would have to remake the drink. The coffee machines could take two minutes to pour sometimes. And would then complain about how long the order took. Often, he would ask me to add like five packets of sugar to his pre-Syrup Lottay, which I would happily accommodate for if we weren't busy. But I also would remind him there were like three pumps of syrup and they're already. He would then complain it was too sweet and accused me several times of adding more sugar than he asked for. Remaking the drink would ensue. This was not the first time he refused to park up either. Sometimes he would. So it wasn't even that he didn't understand the concept like some didn't. But I was always happy to reiterate what he had to do. Worst of all, he would personally blame me if his service wasn't good enough, even if I didn't have anything to do with the drive-through. My best friend was working on my day off and he apparently started screaming for the pink-haired girl to apologize for ruin. I need more cream, girl. Where's more cream, girl? He was asking her to apologize for ruining his order when I was at home. I know I over reacted. I'll own up, but this is Borderline Abuse, LMAO. Okay. Wow. I don't think she's overreacting. This guy sounds insane. Yeah. I mean, like, it's funny because I thought at first, like, this sounded very much like the United States, but it sounds like it's the UK. But I think like, really, like, I feel like they're from the, the customer is always right generation, where like, they feel certainly in the States. That's like how old people like act. But that's, that's like what was like hammered into them. Like, customers always right. Customers always right. And it turns out, like, that's not true. Yeah. But they they have this like level of like, I don't know, like, indignity about everything. Yeah. About like, no, I know. They're entitled to everything. Yeah. Yeah. I'm so confused by this behavior. I'm like, someone serving you, like, getting, getting things for you, making things for you. I'm like, I can't imagine, yeah, they were from this generation that feels like, I paid you $10. I get to treat you any way I want. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like when it comes to revenge, like, for fast food employees, I'm kind of always going to be on the fast food employees side. Sure. Of course. What a rigorous job. Yeah. And people are horrible to them. Yeah. Yeah. And I do think like, it's really, it's, it's not obviously not cream girls fault. But I think, I think what the manager could have done, and this is what plenty of managers do, do, is they just ban those customers. They say, like, you're, you're being a nuisance. You're constantly harassing my employees. You're done. And you can just ban people from, I mean, I'm assuming in the UK, you can as well. But you can just say, like, no, you're not welcome here anymore. Is it hard to ban people though? Like to identify, like, because he's just going through the drive. I mean, this guy is such a regular. Yeah. Probably could clock it. But this sounds like a power trip for this guy. Yeah. Like, this isn't, like, he doesn't actually care about the latte. I think they go for the, they're bored and they get the kick out of doing this. There's like some other emotional shit that he's not dealing with and he's taking it out on someone else. Yeah. Yeah. Imagine going, I can't imagine going to a fast food through a drive-thru being like, give me my cream. Like, I need my, like, that's, I'm just begging them to spit in my drink. And they're going at the busy time. It's not sweet enough. It's too sweet. Like, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, dude, if you're this specific about your coffee, why are you going to McDonald's? Like, bro, yeah. What I know McDonald's now is more, like, as expensive as of any coffee shop. But it's just like, if you're going to be hyper-specific, if it matters that much to you, like, you can't, you can't expect that of fast food. Like, they operate on speed and getting you the stuff as fast as possible, not precise orders, you know? Yeah. I mean, people love, people love their routines, right? And part of this routine is yelling at cream girl. Yeah. It's like, you love your routine, but you got to understand these fast food employees. Like, they see the line that they're in. Yeah. But I think they cannot comprehend that these people are taking care of other people's orders as well. The lack of empathy is just wild. Yeah. Well, people really do dehumanize, like, the second people are in a service worker outfit. Yeah. Like, you're no, they're no longer human to them. I never worked at any food industry. Yeah, I never, I never did. But you did work at Chuck E. Cheese. And you were in the, you were in the mouse costume, so you were kind of like able to spy. People probably forgot there was a person in there. He was so many friends. I mean, I feel like I probably experienced like the flipside when I was Chuck E. Because I feel like the parents were never mean to Chuck E. No, he got respect. It was the children that were fucking evil ass with the children were evil. Yeah, he's kicking my shins and pulling on Chuck E's tooth. You got revenge on time. But I think I don't know if I could say that. Would you kill those five children? Yeah. And stuff. And stuff them in animal truck. I might have thrown them into the dough maker. But I, I mean, like the only thing that like some adults who get really angry over at Chuck E. Cheese was we had a one alcoholic drink per person rule because they didn't want drunk parents there. Obviously, because they drove their children to Chuck E. Cheese. It's kind of crazy. They could sort of alcohol there in the first place, right? It's insane to me. Yeah. So they would have like, that you could have like one beer or one glass of wine. And some adults would get really angry about that. That is so embarrassed. Like how am I supposed to have fun with my kids unless I'm drunk? Really embarrassed. That's what those moments you got to be like, huh? Yeah, really? Yeah. Like OP. It almost doesn't seem like OP got revenge as much as there was just a reaction. That's just like a human reaction to some crazy incident. This guy's calling this 16 year old his creamy girl in front of his wife. I think she's allowed to dump a latte on his fiat. Like, I think that's fine. I love this. She didn't get fired for that. Oh, that's great. Yeah. That's really great. The comments on this, someone said, the dude was sexually harassing you with the creamy girl bit. On top of that behavior and his constant verbal harassment of a minor, he should have been banned long ago. But to answer your question, no, you're not an asshole for standing up for yourself and telling that creep off, especially when he was already told to leave at the threat of the police being involved, good on you. So, someone said, no, the customer is not always right. And yes, he and his car deserve to be cream. Well, well played and to Shay. So, someone said, what is a flat, what is a flat panda? I feel old. Fiat, they wrote flat. OP says, it's a car model. They're fairly old now and small. His was early 2000s at best. Someone said, yep, it was definitely my age. I don't have my glasses on and red flat, not feet. No, honestly, a flat panda baby. This makes me think any video I see of fast food employees, getting vengeance on customers is always great. Yeah. There's a clip of a guy like getting, like, getting really mad at the employees at a Taco Bell. Any leaps over and squares up to this Taco Bell employee and he throws a punch, the Taco Bell employee dodges it and perfectly knocks him out. And I'm just like, yeah, dude, I'm like, this is my pay-per-view. You know the waffle house. Oh, exactly. I was like, we need that guy. Dude, the waffle house video forever ago, we're someone through a chair and the employee, she catches it. Yeah. It's like, what are you doing? No. Anyways, our next story comes from Am I the asshole who's supposed to only like a month ago? Oh, we're heating up. Am I the asshole for humiliating my ex's new girlfriend in front of our friend group? Okay. This is probably pushing it. Okay. My ex's new girlfriend in front of our friend group. Oh, it sounds like this sounds messy. Her and the ex are still in the same group. Okay. Yeah. Here we go. Posting from my inactive account because I have some friends lurking in my main one. I, a 22-year-old woman broke up with my boyfriend, who's 24, around eight months ago. We decided to mutually call it quits and parted on pretty good terms, which is good because we just so happen to share a friend group. After a rough patch, I decided to start taking a bit more care of myself, eating better, going to the gym, going to therapy. The shift was pretty evident, both in my attitude and the way I look. My friends that I looked much happier and healthier and I began gaining confidence a little by little. Now, I am a huge nerd. I played D&D weekly. I have thousands of hours in Stellaris. And most relevant to the story, I like to cosplay as a hobby. Most of my old cosplay-involved characters that didn't show their face or body too much. Hornet from Hollow Knight, Mono from Little Nightmares, etc. But since I'd been feeling more confident, I decided that for the big con in my city, I'd like to try something different. A friend convinced me of going as Viper and Chamber from Valorant. So for the past six months, we've been pouring most of our free time into the cosplays. Three weeks ago, I sent a picture of me wearing the cosplay to the group chat, asking for feedback for the final details. My ex immediately DMed me asking me to please not wear that cosplay to the con, because it might make his new girlfriend uncomfortable. You're too hot. Yeah, you're way too hot. Please not be hot. I asked what it was. I'm afraid of being horny. I asked what about it would make her uncomfortable, but he refused to elaborate. I knew he was dating someone new, but I didn't know she was coming with us to the con. I tried to explain to him this was the work of months, and I couldn't just throw it all away just because a girl I'd never met felt uncomfortable about it. In the end, I wore it to the con, and it was a huge success. I tried to keep my distance from the larger chunk of our group because my ex and his new girl were with them, but we did spend a good part of the day with them. Throughout the whole thing, the new girl kept making snide comments at me and laughing whenever I got asked to pose for pictures. Everyone looked uncomfortable, but nobody said anything. After leaving the con to have dinner, though, another friend asked the new girl if she would like to try cosplay as well. Her answer was, why would I need more attention from guys? I already have a boyfriend. I'm not a slut. I snapped and told her to stop acting like a pick me bitch just because I got attention all day. She started to cry immediately. My ex steps in asking me to apologize. I tell him I'll only do it if she apologizes for the way she's been acting around me all day. More and more of our friends start to join the screaming match and it gets so bad we end up getting kicked out of the restaurant. It's been five days and my ex is threatening to leave the friend group if I don't apologize. I honestly wouldn't care if he did, but some of our friends are asking me to do so to stop him from leaving. Shai. Am I the asshole? Oh my gosh. All right. I kind of want to see so Viper and Chamber. - You know that character? - I don't play Valorant. - I must be hotties. I don't play Valorant. I can only assume somewhere to overwatch type of vibes. - I wonder if they got to be baddies. - Okay. - There are two. How do they dress up as two of them at once? - Is it one character? - One day they probably dress as Chamber. One day they probably dress as-- - Oh, oh, oh, okay. - Okay. - But they are not, they're like a fully covered costumes. Like it's not like-- - Yeah, but the, but the, I'm guessing which one is Viper has very form fitting. - Yeah, sure. Not that it matters, right? I think for cons, you're allowed to dress up as whatever point. - Absolutely. You could be as slutty as you want. - But I'm just think, I'm like picturing what's the situation here. The X is, the X is new girlfriend is clearly super insecure. - Oh, super insecure. - And by that comment is calling OP a slut. - Well, I want to be a slut. And if you think this is about you, then you're a slut, I guess. - Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry, I'm not talking about you. - Well, he's talking about slut. - And if you think it's about you, then I guess you are, too, but like I just say it. - That's crazy. It got into such a screening match that they got kicked out of the restaurant. - I love that. I love that. I love that the whole friend group got into this. - What if the restaurant owner is like, I am kicking you out. Not because of your causing drama. I don't like Valorant. - Yeah, yeah, just get out of here. - Right. - He's like, he's like, no, Viper Main's got to get out. - No. - That is, I think that's so embarrassing on the boyfriend's part too. - Oh yeah. - Like, you'd be like, hey, like, no, that's my ex. We're not, and for him to ask her, it's like, hey, you're not dating. You're completely separate people. Like, you don't get to dictate what she wears to a Comic Con convention. Like, that is what these are for. People go to cosplay. - So this is very like, young brain behavior. - 22 is 24. - Yeah, like very early 20s or something because I feel like, by the time you reach a certain age, you're like, oh, why am I putting all this energy towards something I don't like? Like, if they truly didn't like her, why are they so obsessed with her? - I also just like wonder what this ex told his new girlfriend about his ex, about the OP. - There must be something that's like, really setting her off though. Like, I agree. Like, maybe he said, maybe she was like, prime, do you still have feelings for her? And he's like, I don't know, maybe or something. Maybe with some weird-- - I mean, like, because she's apparently like-- - Change her look. - Yeah, she's changed her look. - Right. - Maybe he said something about he's like, wow, she looks like really good now. - Yeah. - That maybe set this girlfriend off. - I mean, it's also, you have the element like, of they are still friends, right? He's still friends with his ex, which is totally fine, but some people clearly like, in the case of this new girlfriend are uncomfortable by it. 'Cause they're just like, what if he wants to get back with her? - And that's the first day that they met, too. - That is true, yeah. - Yeah, that's so awkward. - Is it the first day that they've met? - Fine, the new partner. I'm gonna wanna definitely like make some good impressions. Like, I'm gonna wanna like show up as my best self in front of everyone. And they're just like starting fights and being really petty. - See, I think I knew at a young age like, I know they're young, but I knew that I'm like, being insecure about someone's ex is like such a red flag. - Yeah. - That I'm like, your best bet is to be chill and not make a big deal about it. Or if you're gonna, if you're gonna say something, say it in private, too. - Yeah. - Like, hey, like, I feel uncomfortable about this situation. I mean, even if it's irrational, like, that's how you have to handle it. You don't go and make rude comments to them to their face. - I think that takes a level of emotional maturity and vulnerability to admit when you're not, when you're feeling threatened or jealous because I think when you do that, it's admitting that you are the one that has the work to do. You know, if you say, hey, I'm jealous of your ex and your life, it's like, oh, I have work to do on myself to not be jealous. It's not, it's not the ex's fault. It's my fault that I'm feeling jealous. At least that's what it sounds like in this situation. This girlfriend, too, her comment is really messed up because it's not just insulting the OP. It's insulting potentially a lot of people in that situation by saying, why would I, like, in regards to would you ever do cosplay? - Yeah. - They go, oh, like, they're basically saying, anyone who does cosplay is a slut. - But you know, but you know that she's not sick. You know that she's not, but it's saying just like. - She's saying this directly about 100%. And everybody in that situation probably recognized that, including the ex. And she probably, I don't know, maybe she also felt maybe a little jealousy that OP was getting all this attention at the Comic Con, like making these like snide little quips and stuff whenever somebody asked to take a photo with her. I think that stuff is like, it's cool. Like, you've spent all this time on a costume and people want to share and then enthusiasm and take pictures of you or take pictures with you. It's funny though to be, it's funny to be jealous of that when it's like, yeah, 'cause they're at a convention where dressing up as cosplay is the point of it. So yeah, they're getting attention 'cause they're doing that. But I also believe, like, I see what you're saying 'cause people who get jealous and aren't clocking like the irrationality of it. She's just like, yeah, 'cause they're doing the thing that people do here back to the show. - The verdict is not the asshole comments. I'll apologize after your girlfriend apologizes for implying that we, the people cosplaying were sluts. Short, sweet, and to the point, let's see his hypocrite ass respond to that. I'd also tell your friend group that is your stance. It's the most fair for everyone involved. Someone said not the asshole. So it was perfectly okay for her to bully you all day, but the second you clap back, which anyone would do after being called a slut, she's suddenly the victim and you have to apologize. No, she shouldn't give if she can't take. She started it. It's not your fault that she's so ridiculously insecure that she has to tear you down to feel better about herself. It's not your fault, she's immature. Lastly, someone said not the asshole. Keep in mind you are 22, and this is probably not your forever friend group. If they want you to go against your values to keep the peace, don't. You're not the one in the wrong. Yeah, I mean, early 20s, you could keep a lot of those friends, but it's, you should not devalue yourself for your friend group or minimize yourself. I will say the X, I don't like that he is trying to control the dynamic of his own group. He's like, I'm threatening to leave if you don't abide. By my girlfriend who I'm bringing into the fold, like it's like, hey, this is the friend group. They, you guys have to operate as your own. Yeah, I feel like there is still room for like a level set of like, hey, you know, bring everyone together, bring all the parties together and be like, hey, like I reacted this way because what you said was really hurtful and the actions that you did throughout the day also hurt me. I'm sorry, I, you know, reacted in this way, but there was hurt there from things that you did. And so I think, I think there's a way out of this and there's a way to, you know, preserve the friend group if they, if the OP wanted that. Yeah, it would require, it would require both parties to be on board with that sort of like level set. It would require a lot of work. I think OP should probably talk to the other people in the friend group first about the situation because if they're all there and witness all this, it's tough, man, man, when you're in a friend group and two people start dating and then they break up, it's like, all right, like that's on them to manage that. If, if I was, that's why Anthony and I have never dated. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it would, it would just be like, you didn't want to risk that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, of choice. If I'm like the friends in the friend group, I'm pissed at this guy because I'm like, hey, like you are doing the thing that breaks up friend groups. Like, I'm sorry, man, like this is the situation. You got to navigate this. He's trying to control OP and the friend group. And the friend group. By saying, like, I'm going to leave if this, yeah, people don't accommodate me. It's just like, dude, fuck you, like, I'm sorry. Okay, then leave, I guess. Yeah, like, it might be what has to happen. One of them has to go. It's like, if, but he's, he is bringing the insecurity about. Yeah, his insecurity is causing all the issues, or I mean, I guess, and the person he's dating, but like, it's going through him. And then he's saying, everyone, he's a change because of my insecurities. Yeah, or my, my girlfriend. Or my partners. Yeah. Yeah. Update. Oh. Okay. So let's see what happens here. Five days later. Okay, so she's gone down in five days. She's like, I found a cosplay I'm doing. That's even slutty. I'm caught by you as your girlfriend. I'm Altidio. I'm Bayonetta. Yeah. All right. I'm silent. Yeah. I'm silent, dude. I'm like, we're just silent. That looks like Metal Gear Solid 5. Oh. Basically, I think it's in a bit. She's in a bit. It's a big, full in a skinny warrior. Yeah. Is that late in the game? Because I only played the first 40 hours. That game is 200 hours. Yeah, I think it's halfway because Metal Gear 5. Yeah. Am I thinking of five? Yeah. Yeah. That was like 40 hours deep in that. I think she probably comes in about 50 or 60 hours. Yeah. Anyway, I got to hear this up there. All right. Sorry. I got distracted. Wow. I didn't expect this post to blow up as much as it did. Thank you for all the support, understanding, and kind comments. First of all, I want to apologize if the redaction in the original post wasn't the best. English is not my first language, and I kind of wrote it in the heat of the moment. Second of all, my ex left the friend group and took his new girl with him. Good riddance. After a final attempt at making me apologize, he left the chat through a long paragraph of text and a blocked every single person involved. The two ex friends who asked me to apologize to him followed suit. I'm not surprised in the slightest since they've been his friends longer than they have been mine. I will admit, I'm a bit heartbroken about it, but I'll get over it. Of course, my ex DMed me to call me an immature bitch one last time, then proceeded to block me as well. I'm honestly fine with that. Now for some clarifications on the original post, yeah, I admit the screaming match was very immature and impolite of us. I don't want to make excuses, but after a whole day at the con, we were all tired, hungry, and very annoyed. Emotions were running high, and we behaved very immaturally. Thankfully, that particular place is used to dealing with con attendees and weren't too harsh on us. We did leave a big tip as an apology. To everyone asking if I'll post the cosplay, I am flattered, but while I believe I've become a bit more comfortable. We just got to see it. Yeah, nice going, Radik. Cool to be the job. Cool story. Let's do photos. Yeah, I don't think I'm ready to blast it to thousands of people on the internet just yet. Maybe I'll upload something to my main account at some point, but definitely not here. Just in case anyone wants to know what the screaming match seemed looked like, only five people out of the 11 were wearing regular clothes. The others were all in cosplay. I love that. Vyper, myself, Chamber, to Mikeus, a cave from Genshin, and a friend's original character. Again, thank you all, and sorry if you were expecting a more dramatic update, I'll reach out if anything more interesting happens, though I really doubt it. See ya. That's so funny. If I saw this, if I saw someone recording this on TikTok, I would be watching this whole clip. Yeah, that sounds awesome. I'm sure fights happen at every convention, because they are, it's always hot. Yeah, I'd love to see a fight at a furry convention. Yeah. I'm trying to find him. David Attenborough's narrating it from somewhere. Yeah. Oh, as you can see, the foxes have got to do it too. Oh, yeah. I know, I got some double searches in my future. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god. We combine these first two stories. Furry's getting in a fight at McDonald's. Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm in. The prime entertainment there. I never thought about people going to a con as their OC as an original character. Yeah. They put in stuff out there. I don't know. Yeah. People do also, people really go for niche things. They really do. Because there was the few times back in the day when we would go to Comic-Con, and I was like, I'm rarely recognizing things like, I mean, but nobody's going to go as the most popular stuff. They got to find the like, they got to show the day they know ball. Exactly. They're like, I went as the chef from episode 219 of One Piece. Yeah. That was in the background. But that's going to be a really sick fucking wreath for Laugh. Five people. Five people. Yeah. You've seen all the chosen, they're like, there's this trend of people going to these cons as chosen. Yeah. These videos of them coming down escalators. It's so funny. There's just like 50 chosens down an escalator. Yeah. What? I would be disappointed. Have you seen these popping up? No. Oh, people really go as the chosen a lot. It's a great costume for a con. Yeah. I am very honored whenever I see people dressing up as the chosen. If people get in a fight as the chosen, I will be disappointed. Yeah. Like that's because that goes against the character. Choosing these words. Yeah. At our Smoshery's Reddit Story show in London, these two people went as Zock-Dock. Oh, I saw it. I saw it. Okay. I saw a dog. Oh, no. One shirt's a Zock. The other shirt's a dog. That's the deep breath, right? Yeah. I was like, you guys are doing free ad podcasting. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So this dude split up the the friend group entirely split in half. Split up the friend group. Yeah. And in such a, in such a lame way to being like, I'm going to write this huge pair of drafts. And I'm going to block everyone. So you can't respond to it. And everyone's a bitch. Embarrassing. Embarrassing. It was embarrassing. Anyways, moving on. I don't feel like either of these have been like revenge as much as these are people standing their ground in a very fair way. Yeah. So far, I believe. I mean, it's kind of like a big reaction maybe, but it seems appropriate for the situation in some degree. Yeah. I'm on their sides. Yeah. The story comes from true off my chest, this is posted in 2023. My ex-girlfriend got revenge on me and I'm so broken. Oh. Whoa. Oh. This is from his perspective. Yeah. Interesting. This is going to be a vengeance receiver. Yeah. I feel like this is going to be a heartbreaking perspective. Yeah. I, a 25 year old man, have been with my ex-girlfriend Carly, 23, for nearly 10 years. We were high school sweethearts and had a good relationship up until after she completed college. So it has been putting a strain on our relationship so bills and finding sustaining jobs has been a challenge. We started arguing a bunch and just started overall being annoyed with each other's existence. We weren't sleeping in the same room, let alone being intimate. It was a tough time to say the least. We tried therapy and I felt like it wasn't working. I honestly wanted to be done, but I couldn't break up with her because we lived together and she helped me get out of debt. So I did something horrible and I started cheating on her with her childhood best friend. Oh, her other childhood best friend. I thought she would never find out and my gosh, I was wrong. Yesterday afternoon, I came home and she wanted to talk and without hesitation, she jumped straight into it and asked me point blank if I was cheating on her. And I of course tried to lie and she just starts laughing and says, I knew you weren't going to admit it, but I was going to give you the benefit of the doubt. So now I just feel less guilty. I just confessed to her and she just looked at me and didn't have any expression nor speak. When I finish, she just laughed and told me, and I will never forget it. Honestly, it's fine because Louis was over last weekend and we had a great time. My heart dropped to my stomach because Louis is my big brother. Oh, my God. Oh, that is God. This is all the messy. Diabolical. This is messy. You kept it in the family? God damn. Oh, I just thought it was a low blow on Carly Given. She knew how insecure I was about my brother. He's the golden child and literally always did things 10 times better than me. I'm stuck having to have some sort of- Six inches taller. Bigger dong. Eight packs, maybe even 10 packs. I'm stuck having to have some sort of relationship with him and meanwhile, she can just drop her friend. My chest and heart have been hurting so much since I found out and I'm so broken. I know I was wrong for cheating first, but if she knew, but if she knew, why didn't she just break up with me first? I called out of work because I feel like throwing up just thinking about it. Edit. I did not intend for this to be a viral post. I'm just extremely hurt and I get, I fucked up. Also yes, I know she did because she offered video proof and my brother has been dodging my calls. Oh, my God. What the hell? I'm going actually insane right now and all you people here are just obsessed with kicking me while I'm down and it's fucked up. Like I get it. LOL so funny. She won. Good for her. Also with the debt, she helped me pay off. She just did it from her inheritance. I didn't know. It's just her inheritance. If she asked for the money back, I will be willing to set up some payment arrangement with her. Oh my God. This is insane. Oh, messy. And he's the victim. He thinks he's the victim. And she's offering to send him a video of her fucking his brother. Yeah, that's crazy. This is chaos. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. You know what? Okay. Okay. There's a million things going on. One is him going like, why didn't she just break up with me? It's like, buddy, we could ask the same thing of you. Right. We're giving all these excuses of like, well, the situation's weird and we're living together and stuff. I'm like, yeah, that's kind of why cheating is so shitty because yeah, you're stuck in that situation. Yeah. If you're going to cheat, you need to just break up, like he's like, she could have just cheated on me with anyone else. Yeah. Yeah. So that it wouldn't have been too hurtful. Yeah, it hurt me too much. Like you already chose her childhood best friend. Yeah. Which is like, it's already, I mean, and also like to say, to say, I didn't think she'd find out how dumb are you like, dude, if you're going to cheat, all the people in the world, if you are going to cheat, you have to know that that shit is going to get found out. Yeah. Especially someone so close to her, right? Oh, my God. The closest person outside of a brother, maybe. What the fuck? She won't up to me slightly. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, does she's going to find out, okay, though, the best childhood best friend and his brother, diabolical human. Oh, they're horrible. Everyone's horrible. Everyone sucks here. Everyone here sucks. Like, that's not, I guess it's not her childhood best friend. No. Like, what the hell? And then his brother, like, his brother just sounds like he's the devil, like just living to ruin his life. I mean, I think that dynamic happens a lot more than we think. Oh. Like, people, I mean, I think a lot of times, like, I feel like we've all kind of heard stories of, like, people where it's like, oh, this couple got divorced and then one person started seeing the other person in the family. Like, I feel like that happens not, like, often, but, but often enough to know it's like an existing-- Only one out of every 10,000 writes a Reddit post about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. Oh, my God. So basically, she helped him out of debt. Yeah. She was basically, I think, in many ways. >> Right, supporting him, and they out of an inheritance. >> Yeah. >> It was just her inheritance. >> It didn't hurt it. >> I don't know. >> It was free money. >> Free money. >> It's impossible to be on this guy's side. And all the things he's giving, I just kind of struggle with it. He's like, we weren't sleeping in the same room, let alone being intimate. We tried therapy and it felt like it wasn't working. It's like, everything in the universe was telling us to break up, but I just had to sleep with her childhood friend. >> Yeah. >> Were they married? >> I don't think they -- >> Girlfriend. No, they're just dating. I mean, 10 years. >> Yeah. >> 10 years is like a marriage. I mean, they're living together. Their lives are intertwined. >> I couldn't have been dating somebody from 13 to 25 or whatever. >> That's like, you just, that is wild. >> That is wild. >> Lately different person. >> I mean, I get that feeling of being kind of trapped in a relationship where you're living in a house and you're like, in it, way past it, you're in the relationship way past it's primed. >> Totally. >> And you're like, I -- >> And you don't know any other relationship. >> Yeah. And you're like, I feel like this isn't working, but I don't have enough experience in my life to know is this the way that just relationships are just supposed to be this way. But like, when it gets to the point where you're like, we're sleeping in different beds and I'm cheating. Like, that's a, and therapy isn't working. >> I just don't understand. >> I understand. >> I'm like, if you are cheating on someone, the relationship is over. >> Yeah. >> Like, if you are at that point where you have no communication and you're just operating, I'm like, you don't sound like you like each other. >> Right. >> Like, why are you doing this? Especially at 25. >> Yeah. >> I'm like, I don't know if it's not like you have kids and it's like, oh, we're supporting our children together and stuff. It's like, come on, man, there's always -- and this is a tough thing when a relationship is not working out. It's always a really good reason of like, well, we can't break up because it's so uncomfortable and it's awkward. It's like, yeah, breaking up sucks, especially if you live together. It is super inconvenient. It's going to be an absolute hassle, but you got to do it. >> And it like watches it hurts now. It's going to hurt worse. Like, if they broke up a year prior, the pain would have been a lot more manageable than this. >> Yeah. >> It's also just funny that like, he feels indebted to her to not break up with her because she paid off his debt, but not indebted enough to not cheat on her. >> Right. Like, the debt stands out so much in his mind that he's adding it in his post. >> Yeah. And also in like the most hurtful way too, like, there's only outside of, yeah, relatives. There's like, that is probably the most hurtful person that you can cheat on. >> Yeah, it seems almost purposeful, right? >> Yeah. >> To like, completely- >> Like, trying to force her hand. >> It almost like- >> Force her to break up with him. >> Yeah. >> Like, he was sabotaging, yeah. >> Yeah, yeah. He was trying to sabotage. >> I'm picking up a few context clues from this. One is that when he lied to her, so she asked him, like, flat out, like, are you cheating on me? >> Yeah. >> Lie, and she was like, I knew you would. She had already gotten her revenge, but she clearly at this stage had zero faith in him and had such disdain for him. And this behavior clearly had been- >> Yeah. >> She had probably caught him in a million lies up to his family. >> Yeah. >> Also, I'm guessing that this affair with her best friend has been going on for a while. If she slept with his brother a week ago, and is now asking, like, it sounds like this timeline, this was not like, I slept with your best friend once. It's like, stuff had been happening. So I think she was so beyond done. >> This guy lost me so many times, so he's like- >> Yeah, and then she asked me if I cheated and I lied. >> And I know he's not asking for our opinion, it's just a confession. >> Oh, yeah. >> But it's like, dude, you're not going to get sympathy from Reddit if you're saying, like, people don't like, they're not going to stand with a cheater, even like- >> Especially now Reddit, Reddit hates a cheater. >> Yeah, I mean, I just think like, people nowadays really hate breaches of trust. >> Yeah, that's what really is. It's the perception of it all, like, no one wants to be like, and like, it's not a one time deception, obviously, it's horrible, but, and then to be repeated, and repeated, it like just exponentially increases it, right? >> The comments on this, you didn't just cheat, you went to her best friend all while you continued to reap the benefits of living with her. How is what you did somehow less worse than her going to your brother? And only in the aftermath of you doing it first mind you, so she'd hurt you too. You really aren't a victim here, my guy, and I don't know why you expected anyone here to fall over themselves telling you otherwise. So I said, this post is so funny, you go and cheat on her, but when you get the same treatment back, somehow it breaks your heart, please. Someone said, if you had a bad relationship, then why didn't you break up with her? You decided to cheat instead, and now you're mad that she did it back. You should be ashamed of yourself. I'm glad she gave you a taste of your own medicine. >> Damn. >> People are glad that she did it. >> I mean, I mean, like, yeah, I think you still allowed to feel hurt by what she did. But at the same time, at the same time, it's like, yeah, he's probably more allowed to be mad at his brother, but her, it's like, dude. >> There's just like this weirdness where, like, when someone's being so hypocritical, it's like, bro, look at yourself in the mirror for a second. Why are you getting your feelings hurt when you're looking at the situation in the mirror? >> Yeah. I really think, like, it seems like cheating really messes with people in their head, like, getting away with it. >> Yeah. >> It just like it really does something. Like, I almost think that's worst case scenario is to get away with it because I'm like, now your brain is like, oh, I got away with that. And like, I'm just like, I almost think that that scares me more than the repercussions. You know? Like, I'm just like, I just think it's bad for you. >> I feel like it would be such a haunting feeling. >> Totally, right? >> To live, like, it's, I think it's the same with doing anything and getting away with it. Like, people who get away with a murder. >> Right. >> I'm just like, you're now living day to day in this weird simulation of like, everyone's talking to me as if I am someone. >> Yeah. >> And nobody knows me. Like, it's got to be isolating. And that's why, like, I know, like, isn't it a weird thing that with cheating, the cheater can develop a resentment towards their partner for, for like, not knowing. And like, it's a weird, I'm like, it's one of those things where I'm like, I don't want to deal with the psychological horrors that come with that. >> Yeah. And like, a lot of times it comes up on, on the show, like, and you even mentioned, like, when someone is so concerned about their partner cheating, so often, they are the ones cheating. >> They are the ones cheating. >> That's why the idea is planted in their hands. >> The biggest red flag is, like, severe levels of suspicions. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And that's just their own anxiety going crazy because they're anxious about this own situation. Their own situation. >> Yeah. >> So they're being anxious about everything. >> Yeah. >> Because how you can't trust anyone if you know you've gotten away with someone. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> That's true. It's like, it's so easy for me to get away with. Everyone's getting away with it. >> It's truly like, it's like a horror to me. >> Yeah. >> I agree. >> Anyways. Moving on. >> Because that is the revenge so far. >> That was crazy. >> That is revenge. >> That was the first, like, real, also true diabolical revenge. >> That was some Game of Thrones revenge where it's like, the revenge had already been lame. >> Right. >> It was like, oh, I've already done it. >> I want to see the scene, like, reenacted with Game of Thrones theme, right? >> Yeah. >> I can see that. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> The girlfriend comment to be like, yeah, and I'm with his brother and he's great. >> Oh. >> Everything is awesome. >> Taller, longer, wider, faster, stronger. >> We're buying a house. >> A rancher. >> I'm already pregnant with his child. >> Better hairline. >> Better hairline. >> Better hairline. >> Okay. >> Bakes are really mean, baked ziti. >> Oh. >> Yeah. >> What is that? Whatever. >> Pasta. >> All right. Our final story comes from Petty Revenge. This is posted the week of Christmas, 2025. >> Ooh. >> Merry Christmas. >> I ate a bag of rich man's nuts. So my boss would stop coming into my office and eating the rich man's nuts. >> Okay. >> Coming into the office, average. >> All right. >> The way this is phrases. >> Yeah, there's a lot. >> There's a lot going on here. >> It's the holidays, so the company I work for gets a lot of gift baskets from our clients and vendors. I work in a department that because of the work we do, we rarely get gifts and treats unless one of the other departments shares their gifts with us. Thankfully, someone shared a couple of baskets with nuts, candies, crackers, etc. The VP has been coming into our office almost every day to pick from our gift baskets. He doesn't do this to any of the other departments, and I have seen him get a couple of baskets himself and never shared them. He had an unopened basket and he opened it, then chose the most expensive item, a bag of pistachios, and ripped into it, stealing some of our pistachios, then said, "I love the rich man's nuts." >> [LAUGH] [LAUGH] >> And that's because the rich man's nuts. >> They are more expensive. >> Oh, wow. >> Yeah. >> Especially if they come pre-shell. >> I got to learn about the harvesting process of these things to justify the price of these rich man's. >> I feel like pistachios on a lot of expensive desserts and stuff. >> Yeah, yeah. >> Like a Middle Eastern dessert. >> Yeah, like Baklava, with his pistachio on top, what is it? Is Dubai chocolate? Is that pistachio? >> Yep. >> That's the pistachio. >> Okay, so the vice president is coming into their office, grabbing pistachios and saying, "I love the rich man's nuts." >> And these are gifts, and these are gift baskets that were for the workers. >> So for the workers, for departments, they're a department that doesn't get many gifts, so someone else gave them some of theirs, and this vice president's waltzing in, taking the best things from their basket. >> Do you remember we had somebody? we had somebody back in the defy days. - What do you know on your fingers? This sounds like a mysterious story. - But what is this? - We remember when we came back. - Come with me to the pistachio car. - There was an executive defy. And there was a bowl of M&Ms. And they would walk in and just like grab M&Ms. And somebody was like, oh, I saw that person not wash their hands. - They didn't, yeah. - They go to the bathroom. - Or there. - No, this was in the dark ages. - Okay, this is the year after. (laughing) - And then they would like walk into this room that had a bowl of M&Ms. And they would just like stick their dirty little weener hands on into the M&Ms. - The hands were bad enough. - The unwashed hands were bad enough. - The rich man's nut. (laughing) - It could have been peanut M&Ms. - Yeah. - I don't know, boy. - Yeah, I do remember this. - Oh, those weener hands. - This man makes five times what I do. When the opportunity came for him to fight for raises for us, he didn't. And now he is coming into our office and stealing our gifts and eating our rich man's nuts. This cannot continue. I decided that I'm going to eat every single pistachio. I don't particularly like pistachios or nuts, but I am not gonna let him come in here and steal my rich man's nut. I'm gonna eat them all to myself and enjoy every single last minute of it. I have eaten four sleeves of nuts. The best is not empty. My body doesn't feel good, but my pride is intact knowing I am full of rich man nuts. Well, he cannot take any more. (laughing) - There's lots of other ways to get that, you know? - I am full of rich man nuts. - You can just get on a sugar baby website. - Okay. - There's lots of other ways. Why didn't this person just, I don't know if you're finished with the story. - It's oh yeah. - Okay. (laughing) - Why didn't this person just hide them, just tell their department, hey, this guy shouldn't be stealing our rich man nuts. - I don't know how to eat them all at once. - This counts as revenge, because that also means the rest of the department doesn't eat that much of the rich man nuts. - Revenge on one person. - What are you doing? - He cut off his nut. - But if he can't spot it. (laughing) - Yeah. - Yeah. - What the fuck? - Feeling from the rich and you're like a Robin Hood that ate the gold coin. (laughing) - He cut off his balls, the save his weeners. (laughing) - What? - Oh my god. - I don't know if you've. - What is the term? - The rest of the accounting department's like, "Hey man, where did the pistachios go?" And he's over here like filled to the brim, just like, "Uh." - pistachios are so filling. - I got a bag at the airport thinking I was just gonna chow down on the floor. I was so full by a third of the way through. - Yeah, they're like really fatty. - Yeah. - They're good for you. - But that takes effort. - Yeah, he's got a lot of fiber. - I don't know. I don't know how much fiber. - I don't know. - I just know they're really good for you. - Yeah. - I don't know pistachios in particular. I'm thinking like almonds and stuff. - Yeah, okay. - And I have some fiber. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - Comments, I mean, you could have taken them to someone who would enjoy them, but I still approve that guy as a jerk. Someone said, "Life pro tip, you have enough pistachio paste inside of you right now that if you dipped yourself in dark chocolate, you'd be the world's largest Dubai chocolate." - That's a thought. - Wow. - But you'd also need like phylodo too. - Yeah, yeah, you need a lot of stuff. Someone said, "That's nuts." Just put the best stuff in your drawers and leave the cheapest for him. Oh, he said, "Bro, that's the fuck thing. We hid them twice." And he still found it and ate our stuff. - Oh, I think your vice president is a squirrel. - Yeah. (laughing) - I was thinking he's like, he's like a truffle pig, you know? (laughing) - He's like, "I know they're around here somewhere." - There's pistachios. Yeah, I don't know if that counts as vengeance. I think vengeance would be you'd have to swap them out with those super spicy nuts. - Yeah. - Oh, yeah. - Something like that. You gotta get it. - Oh. - But he was unharmed in this process. - There's so many fun ways he could have gone about that revenge, right? - Yeah. - He could have swapped them out all for a shelled pistachios. - Well, or if he really wanna put it in the time, he could have taken them out of the ship, taken the pistachio out of the shell and just gave them bunch of shells. - Oh, bunch of shells. - Bunch of shells. - Yeah. - Or, or, or went through all the pistachios that have shells on them and only left in the ones that are, you know, sometimes they don't quite, like there's not enough like of a gap, actually. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Break a fingernail. - Yeah. - I really can't do anything that I have to shell. I struggle with that stuff. I'm like, I don't wanna work for it. - Okay, privilege. - Truly. (laughing) - Yeah. - I'll crack those thick ass nuts in my teeth, though. And it's scary. - That's crazy. - It's scary. You're like, I might lose something. - You know what he also could have done is attach the bag of pistachios to like a string, like a pulley system. So when he grabbed the pistachios, two logs came down and it smugged. - Yeah. - Okay, great. - No, great done. - Oh. - That's gonna be an awkwardly. - He walks into his office. - The guy's hanging from the ceiling. Like, whoa, look at it. - Yeah. Yeah, you know this. - Did this guy not watch him alone? - Yeah. - Were his wheels not turning? - Yeah, clearly. I mean, he can up his game here. - Yeah. - Instead, he heard his stomach. Instead, he felt full. - Yeah. - Congrats, man. - He had a bunch of pistachios. - You're gonna just take, if you're gonna eat them, I'll just take the pistachios home. (laughing) What are you doing? What did he make of that? - He got one sitting. - There's so many other things he could have done and he chose the silliest stuff. - All right. I wanna know if the dude came in and was like, where are they? Where am I? - They're in my belly. - They're in me. (laughing) - Then I'm gonna eat you. (laughing) - She just tears up the stomach. (laughing) - All right. Well, that was our final story. - Wow. (clapping) - Some good vengeance today. - Why? - Was there nothing, well, nothing beats the one guy who's-- - The brother. - Got, yeah, who cheated on his girlfriend and then she slept with his brother. - That's, that's peak. - That's peak. - Vengeance. - The rest was kind of silly, but, but still good. - If anyone's entertaining-- - If anyone's entertaining. - With my childhood friend, I'm gonna sleep with their brother. - All right. (laughing) And you heard it here, folks. - It's the way the cookie crumbles. - That's just how it goes. - How it goes, the only logical thing. - Hey, look, it's what you have to do. Anyways, thank you both for joining me. - Of course. - Had a great time. - Thank you. - And, uh. (laughing) - Of course. - I don't know the way he said it was. - I'm just, I'm just wrapping it up. I'm just wrapping it up. Look, yeah, you walk into my office and I have a bullet pistachio nuts, and I'm like, go ahead of you. Help yourself. - You're like, what do you think this is? - If I see what I'm on the phone with your brother. (laughing) - No, your brother now. - This is how you find out I have a brother. - Yes, yes, yes. - Because you're my brother, and I fucked it. (laughing) - I went on incestreet.com. - I have a brother, your brother. - And I fucked it. (laughing) - And you're just like, you just put the pistachio back in there. (laughing) - Okay. - All right, thank you both for joining. - Thank you. - And thank you for watching. We'll see you next Saturday. - Goodbye. - Bye. - Bye. - Thanks again to DoorDash for sponsoring this episode of Reddit Stories.