You Don't Have to Explain Yourself

Shut up, and sit down. Welcome to Being On Stage, the only podcast that gives you motivation, inspiration, and confidence to be better on stage. No matter how you entertain, sing, dance, band, comedian, public speaking, MC, drag, burlesque, performance art, or street performer, this is the show for you. Hey Rockstars, Reggie Dawson, your host of the Being On Stage podcast. Welcome back, thanks for tuning in. Have you ever had one of those performances where someone comes up to you and kind of asks you a little bit about what it means? It could be a performance, or a song, or anything like that. Or, even more so, when someone tries to tell you what your performance means, you know? There was a time, and I'll be the first to own it, there was a time that I used to really, really upset me. When someone would approach me and tell me what my performance was about. And for a while, I mean, it upset me for a while. There was a good bit of time where I would, I actually got into a little bit of an argument with somebody one time about what one of my performances mean. Because they tried to tell me it meant one thing, and I very, very clearly meant it to be, well, in my opinion, it was clear. But it was, I. Intended another meaning, a very different meaning with it. And it became defensive, and it was just outright, like, they would tell me, well, I shouldn't have done this if it meant that. And, like, they became, they became, they, like, scrutinized every bit of my performance because all of a sudden it didn't mean what they thought it meant. And I was kind of like, it was almost like I was trying to take something away from them, I think is how it was viewed. And I've noticed, what I've noticed is, there are other performers out there that do this. And I've witnessed it. No one's done it quite as bad as I have. I mean, listen, backing up. Again, my name is Reggie Dawson. I host the Being On Stage podcast. I'm a stage performance coach. I help performers of all genres and all levels take their talent, turn it into this performance, put it out on stage in front of an audience, and give their audience just an amazing, amazing experience. And I help get you there. I help get you more connected to your audience. And offline, I mean, we work online as well, and get you moving towards that dream of dot, dot, dot, whatever. Insert your dream here. Boom. But, listen, I'll tell you, I've made a lot of mistakes along the way. When I was performing, I did a slew of different styles of performances, performance. But when I was performing, I've made a lot of mistakes. You know, I've backstabbed people. I've been the cause of drama. I've had drama brought to me. I've, you know, cast people out when I should have pulled them closer. I've made wrong decisions. I've supported the wrong person. I followed the wrong people. I allowed the wrong people to mentor. Like, I've made the mistakes. And one of the mistakes I made was I used to kind of argue with my audience, I mean, about some things. And the meaning of my performances was one of them. And that one time, the one time I was talking about when I actually got it. I got into a full-fledged argument with somebody. There wasn't a whole lot of people around. Like, it wasn't like this huge onstage throwdown of performer and audience member. It wasn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds. But, you know, it was after the club had shut down. We were outside. And that's something that we did. We would just hang out outside the club after it shut down. Until, like, 2.30 in the morning. And then we'd go to Denny's until, like, 4. And then we'd go somewhere else to party until, like, 2.30 in the morning. Until, like, 6. It was a crazy lifestyle that I used to lead. And this time when I actually argued, it was after the club. There was probably, like, 10 people around. And some people would get on my side. And some people started questioning on their side. And it really took a night. Which, honestly, it was a great performance. But it really took the night and just turned it completely. And, again, it does not have to be that bad. But I think a lot of times what we do as performers is we feel the need. need to defend or to explain our creative process and what we were thinking and what we intended this to mean. And listen, it doesn't matter what it is. It could be an interpretation of someone else's music. It could be a dance. It could be your own music. It could be your own, any type of act really, your own comedy, your own magic and anything. But the meaning that you put into it, it's not always going to connect directly with every audience member. So here's my solution, like the solution that I found and I've read about and I've found that a lot of other, you know, higher caliber than me performers have done this. And I want you to do this too. You kind of have to let your performance mean whatever your audience wants it to mean. Of course there's limitations. If they're taking it to a bad place that really paints you in a negative light, you can do that. But if they're taking it to a bad place that really paints you in a negative light, you may just want to explain like, listen, you know, I can see where you get that, but I do need you to know that's not at all what this was intending to be. You know what I'm talking about, the terrible ones, you know, the terrible things that, you know, people do in this world. If anyone takes your performance to that level or like morally wrong, of course, explain yourself at that point. But otherwise, don't explain yourself. Let it go. You have to recognize when someone gets that meaning from your performance, they are inspired. You know what it feels like to be inspired. You're a performer. You have to get inspired all the time. So this is someone being inspired by you and by what you're putting out and what you can do. You are being the inspiration to someone else. You have to let them. Be inspired by you. Yeah, I know. I know that sometimes you don't feel like you deserve their inspiration, but you have it. So tough crap. You have it. So but you have to you have to let them you have to let them have that inspiration from your performance and let it mean what they what it means to them. That's some of the best performances, some of the best music, some of the best dances, some of the best performances across all genres have been created when the artist allows the audience to interpret their own meaning and to to be inspired. And it is those performances and those shows that that the audience connects with that, you know, creates that momentum for the artist. So when your audience is connected enough to pull a meaning that they persona that's personal to them out of your performance, let them have it. Just let them have it. Let them have it. You don't have to explain what you meant it to be. So here's you have the creative process. OK, your your inspiration happens during your creative process. You know, you're you you dream up this performance. You you visualize it in your head. You start building it piece by piece and planning it out and figuring out how you're going to do certain things and what you're going to wear and where you're going to stand. And you put together this entire performance because of that vision, that meaning and that inspiration that you have. The art, the vision, the creative process, 100 percent about you, 100 percent. That is that is all you, my friend, all about you, all about the all about the performer, the performance. Once you step on stage in front of the audience, it becomes about them. It becomes about what it means to them, how it connects to them. Don't ever, ever. And this is I know I sound like like a parent. I am a parent. I got a parent of a teenager, actually. So how about them apples? If you've been listening for a while, you already know I got a 14 year old that we homeschool. But who 14 year old? So don't ever, ever. And I'm I'm being parental. Don't force your vision and your meaning on the audience. Let them have their own. That's that's what's going to make you a great performer, by the way, is there. There's two pieces of this one. It makes you a great performer that someone is able to take a meaning that someone's able to take that that something personal to them is connecting to that something personal in your show. And you you may do an entire performance about. Oh, I have a great example. And yes, it's music. I always refer to music. It's easy to to explain music on a podcast. A great example. Great example. So my wife, was actually and I know I'm like two decades too late. I know that I'm young. I apologize. But I just now recently learned the meaning to the song Runaway Train by don't quote me. So maybe I don't know. Don't quote me. Runaway Train. If you know the song, you have to know the song and the meaning of the song, I guess, is actually it's about runaways and the things that the terrible things that happen to them. And I think it's a great example of that. After they run away and go missing. But what people have interpreted that song to mean, there's some people that have interpreted it as empowerment. there's some people that have interpreted it as a song of of strength some people have interpreted it as you know finding missing children and all those interpretations are 100% wrong but you never see it come out and like until you watch the video once you watch the video you're like oh okay I got it but if you just hear the song you can take different meanings from that song you can take something and it is personal to you out of that song and that that artist that created that song has let that happen they've allowed it they've allowed people to take all their meanings so it may not be the actual meaning of your performance that someone is taking away but why is that a bad thing they're still inspired they're still finding a connection to you as the performer isn't that what we want isn't isn't the connection with the audience that thing that we crave when we're on stage isn't that why we up on stage as performers like that little bit of they like me they really like me no I mean in all honesty listen listen I'm gonna give you both sides I'm gonna tell you about my mistakes but I'm also gonna tell you I'm I'm I was an egotistical one also and it feels really good to have an audience like you and if you want to keep that audience and you know let them interpret your performances it's not about it's not about you know not sharing real it's not about not sharing raw it's not about it's it's not it's a it's just about letting them be inspired in their own way there's gonna be times when you want to explain something there's gonna be times when you want to let them in on what you're feeling and what your creative process is and at times that's okay but not all the time not a hundred percent maybe like one percent of the time not a hundred percent maybe like one percent of the time hundred percent of the time ever ever ever don't ever do this don't ever oh man I'm feeling good feeling really good so I and listen I offer the same to you you take what you want out of this podcast but I'll tell you this if you ever want to work together hit me up you can actually just jump on my calendar go to beingonstage.com slash calendar and put in your name your email pick a up let's work on uh let's work on your thing let's get you moving forward and connecting with your audience and uh yeah wouldn't it be great like wouldn't that be awesome to to get to that point where you know that you're inspiring your audience and you have your meaning and your vision and they have their meaning and their vision and the fact that you get to come together and share in the moment and just have different experiences but the same experience at the same time it's it really sounds like explaining the type of drug when you try to explain the feeling of performing on stage and I guess in a way it kind of is like a drug but it's who we are we are performers take us or leave us keep on shining