You Can't Rage Against The Flock Cameras Part Time | Joe DeRosa Vile and Horrendous

(upbeat music) - Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. Welcome back to Vile and Herendus. I am your host, the Vile Herendus. It's so nice to be back with all of you. During these turbulent times we all live in, let's, I like that we can come together here at the dinner table and spend some quality time. Let's start things off as we have been doing lately with a nice PSA. Hit it. (clicking) (clicking) So when you pee on cash, you switch that power deck. ♪ We got a lot tonight ♪ ♪ We don't need no talking ♪ ♪ Must step close and the world keeps rocking ♪ ♪ Body to body, close up, close up, you need no leg, go ♪ There you go. Women telling you that you should piss on cash. That much like some of these, that could have easily been a white women's. I like at the end that she opens her mouth to show you that she's willing to drink your piss as you piss on her cash. I thought she was saying she was gonna piss on the cash, but she's fully clothed in the video. She's, I guess, telling somebody else to piss on their cash that she's holding or to piss on her cash. Whatever is going on, the fact that she opens her mouth during it is probably the most upsetting part. But hey, whatever floats your boat lady, and if your boat floats with piss, that's your business. Hey, mine. Would you pee on your cash? I am so desperately wanting wealth to retire with. I'd let cash piss on me if it could. If cash came to me and said, "You gotta let us piss on you," but then you're gonna be able to retire. I'd say, "Have that, it boys." I'd go, "Ah, I'd do what this lady just did." There's your PSA folks, pee on your cash. It exchanges the power dynamic. I will say this, it all seriousness. If you are so upset about money, you feel like you need to pee on it to put it in its place. There might be some other things going on in your brain that you need to address. Anyway, let's get to the real meat of what we need to talk about up front on this week's episode. Look, pussy herons, we gave it to the people. And the people spoke. They did not like Dick Sucker or Cox Sucker for Carly. - Or Dick Lover, I think, was it the other one? - Dick Lover? - Yeah, I think that was what you first said was Dick Lover. - Dick Lover is, okay, so I gave this a lot of thought. I think the problem with Dick Sucker and Cox Sucker versus pussy hound is it does not have that, it does not hold the authority that pussy hound holds. And that is not my intention by any stretch. Everybody should have equal authority on this team. And that is where Dick Sucker and Cox Sucker came in as to be problematic. I believe versus the name that did win, which was smut dog. Everybody seems to love smut dog. And for everybody that said, I don't listen to the people and I'm not gonna go along with what the people want when it came to naming the team. I'm going along with the people here. Smut dog has one. So it's the pussy hounds and smut dog. Another thing that was brought to my attention, Carly, was that you might sue me for that clip in 10 years or so. And say, you know, I've had time to reflect. And that conversation taking place in the workplace on videotape was not appropriate. So I'm gonna ask you to say right now on camera that you will never sue me. Because I don't need that anxiety in my life. I don't need that stress. - I mean, luckily for you, we don't have an HR department here and I don't wanna go through another lawsuit in my life. So I'll give you that. I'm not gonna sue you for that specifically. I mean, I don't know what the future holds. - Oh, there could be. That's fair. If another offense occurs. - Exactly. - Yeah, of course. - I can't give you a fool for that. - Yeah, of course, sue me. But we were all, we were all, we have it on record now. We were all on the same page. - This is a legally binding episode. - With the pussy hounds discussion that occurred a week or two ago, whenever it was. And now people are gonna say this looks like I'm making you uncomfortable in this. - It is a bit of a leading. - I mean, you're leading me to say it. - I'm not leading you to say it. Okay, let me, let's start over. Let's start over. Carly, would you be willing to say on record that that conversation was all jovial and fun and not in any way offensive to you? - Yeah. - No, no, turn that mic on. Don't say yeah with the mic off. You couldn't hear it at home. She started saying yeah, confirm with that mic on please. - Mic on, I will quell your anxieties. I am not gonna sue you for calling me a dick lover sucker or cocksucker. - Okay. - Does that make you feel better? - Yes. Well, especially as one of those words was your idea, I think. Am I wrong on that? - No, those were all through you. - It was only 'cause I felt it was insulting to clump you out of pussy hounds, not that there's anything. - Well, that was me. That was me not wanting to look like a lesbian. - Yes. - It's really something. - So I was trying to accommodate you. Clumsy as it may have been. We have fun around here people, you know? We're all having a good time. Law suit free. So smut dog. All right, henceforth, you shall be known as smut dog. And that was, you came up with, or who, I don't know who came up with that. I didn't, who came up with that. That was actually my co-workers husband. But I was thinking of it more like smut DAWG, not DOG. - Too late. - Okay, great, great. - So like the dog versus, I got you, I think DAWG is better. - Yeah, I want to be one of the dogs. - I agree that DAWG is better. It looks cooler, it makes it cooler. Smut dog sounds like DOG. It sounds more like we're saying that you're like a glutton for smut, which was why when I first heard it, I was like, I don't know, that doesn't pop. But like I'm the smut dog. Like I'm the king or queen rather of smut. That's got a different ring to it and a different vibe. And I like it. So congrats. You're, in fact, the most empowered now of the pussy out. You're the only one with your own name. It feels good. - All right folks, let's get the show started here. Let's do it, pussy hounds and smut dog. We've been done one of these in a minute. More on, more ons. (clicking) All right, we're getting back to the roots here. We're getting back to the micro here. Sometimes we've been sliding lately into more of the macro on the show. Let's get back to the micro. I hope you're with me on this. I hope you're ready for me to bitch about this or you might just think I'm a psycho. But I can't fucking stand. And it's happened to me a few times recently, which is why I'm bringing it up. I can't stand when I'm talking to somebody. And as they're speaking to me, they're yawning. Okay, I want to be crystal clear. I don't mean, "Hey, I'm tired, I need to yawn." So I'm going to stop talking for a moment, yawn, and then continue talking. I get it, I'm not an insane person, I don't think, but sometimes we get stuck out in public or in social situations or at work. And it happens that we're tired sometimes. And when you're tired, a yawn comes, okay? Again, I'm not a psycho, most of the time. I get it. I'm not furious about yawns, all right? We haven't hit that bottom of the barrel yet on this show. We, you know, 12 years from now, there might be a rant about yawns in general. That's not what I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is if you talk through your yawn. I, oh my God, I hate it. I hate it. Get over yourself. Just shut up for a second and yawn. And then say, "Excuse me, you slug." That's it, that's how matters work. Talk, talk, talk. Ugh, excuse me, talk, talk, talk, like that. People though that talk through the yawn, this is what I'm talking about when somebody's like, "Oh my God, it's been such a crazy weekend." I'm just, I just know, "Oh my God, this is so much going on." Oh my God, oh my God. You got a busy week? Let me add another task to your oh so busy agenda adopting manners adopt some fucking manners Nothing you're saying is so important that you have to yawn through it as you're saying it Nobody's ever yawn through this sentence. Did you clear your forehead? You're about to strike People don't yawn through important shit all right the people that are doing this it's get over here It's stop stop my friends do it all the time. It drives me goddamn Crazy because let's be honest. Let's be honest. I know what you're really doing. Let's cut the charade Okay, I know what you're doing. You need to show me that you're so much busier than I am That you can't even stop a sentence to yawn You're just moving and the yawns are coming at such a clip Hey, man. That's due to all the shit you have happening right now. I know I'm spinning so many plates Can't stop. Oh, it's just the zone of it. Please Stop it. It's rude. It's gross I'm gonna start belching in the middle of sentences How about that? That's the same thing. Why not? Oh, belch. Why not? Hey, I also need to admit air admit not admit admit Before the comments go blaze a mitt air for my body due to the lifestyle. I've been living all week Which is eating Popeyes and KFC and sleeping on my couch. I can't possibly stop talking to do so I got shit going on sister I'm moving and I'm shaking. I'm feeling my gut with toxic shit. There's no time for manners for me Well, we're at it. I might cut ass Why not we're already a mitten Sounds out of one side of our body. Let's shoot shit out the other end as well Let's do it everybody let loose with their bodily functions. Nobody say excuse me anymore. Just let them rip mid sentence Don't take a break. Don't excuse yourself. Nothing. Just let it rip Football fans listen up your time has come You know what I'm talking about time to occupy entire establishments and living rooms while yelling at TV screens Maybe you're like me. Maybe you end up actually watching the televised pig skin throwing sessions Against your will Because you want to be out in public and you want to drink and you want to eat stuff and you partake Either way, you might as well make some extra dough while you're at it And that's why draft Kings is now live in all all count them all 50 states one app every sport all 50 states whether you're a diehard football fan We're just trying to capitalize monetarily on a game draft Kings has you covered New draft Kings customers by the way you're going to sign up with the code vio Spend five bucks to get $200 in rewards within 21 days. That includes all markets. That's code vio V ILE In partnership with draft Kings the crowd is yours That with decays sports book gambling problem called 1-800-gamilar 1-800-my-reset Connecticut called 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org On behalf of boot hulk is seen in Kansas that tax pass through may apply in illinois 21 and over Boyd in Canada of end contract trading with draft Kings predictions involves risk of loss Availability varies predictions offer void in new york bet to get bonus bets that expire in seven days Trade to get predictions dollars that expire in one year 50 dollars in rewards issued every seven days via click-to-claim for 21 days One non-withdrawable reward redeemable terms at dkng.co/offer limited time offer nationwide based on sports book predictions and free-to-place sports contest availability varies by state and here's another issue i have that's regarding matters in in a social interaction situation This this is today. This is this whole segment's about social interaction and things people do when you're having those social interactions regarding conversation This this i see read with this if i'm talking to somebody on the phone and somebody comes up to either me or the person on the other end of the phone and they just start speaking to one of us without an excuse me they just come in hey what's up man i'm a bit oh my god drop fucking dead you deserve to never talk to another person again for the rest of your life that's how i feel is that harsh maybe it's harsh i don't know fine don't drop dead but definitely be sealed into a room where you never see the light of day again or speak to another person for as long as you shall live people do this all the time and it happens more to the person i'm talking to than it does to me but it happens all the time i'll be talking to somebody on the phone and on the other end somebody just walks up to the other person and they start talking they don't say excuse me they don't say i'm sorry they don't say i can see you're busy but give me a moment they just start a conversation it's usually when they're bumping into somebody in the street oh hey how you doing how you doing do you not see the fuck did you not see they were talking before you walked up did you not notice that maybe you didn't see a phone because they're on the earpiece did you not see they were talking do you not read the body language as you approach somebody that they're clearly having a phone conversation at the moment what do you think they're doing talking to themselves in the street it's ridiculous and these fucking idiots that walk up to the other person they have no concern for the person me on the other end of the phone don't just let the conversation rip and the person that i'm talking to is being polite and they're indulging the rude idiot and because the rude idiot is a rude idiot guess what the rude idiot never says let me let you go i can see you're in the middle of something now they just talk and talk and talk and talk until the person on the phone with me is forced to go okay then well i'm just i'm just you i'll seal it it's this epidemic of putting the responsibility of every situation on the other person it's putting the onus on the other person it is constant and adults do this all the time adults do this all the time you know what else does it a lot kids idiot fucking kids do this their parent is on the phone the idiot kid comes in the room and just starts talking okay so if you're an adult and you do this you have the brain of an idiot kid younger than 11 by the way not even 11 you've got the brain of like a six year old but it's the worst it's the worst truly when a kid does it that's even it's more offensive when an adult does it it's more annoying when a kid does it because here's the thing when a kid does it they're always doing it to their parent okay so you're talking to the parent on the phone and then the kid just comes in with whatever stupid horse shit he or she has to say and big surprise it's not interesting or important big fucking surprise there and then the worst part is when a kid does it the parent completely indulges it nine times out of 10 nine times out of 10 the moment of the parent going okay i'm on the phone doesn't come the parent just indulges it god forbid the parent goes hey i'm on the phone you fucking idiot that's not gonna happen right and not only does that not happen the parent takes this moment to sort of put on a little show for you so you can see what a cute dynamic they have with the kid if you've ever been talking to a parent where they do this it drives me crazy your mid sentence and the parent goes no no no honey no honey we don't put crayons in the refrigerator no i love you so much but the the crayons go in the art box that daddy bought you not the refrigerator you're so silly oh my god fuck off now i'm listening to two fucking idiots hey dickhead i'm on the phone with you because i wanted to talk to an adult i don't give a shit what's going on with your kid and i don't give a shit what your reaction to that is this is boring and it's brainless in fact i'm almost fucking yawning okay let's move on pussy ounce am i crazy on that one and not entirely uh-oh little bit maybe it's Mitch i mean as someone who's been around kids a lot lately i actually really appreciate this because it is really frustrating when you're like mid conversation then you like have to watch a kid like roller skate in the house and it's like this is my evening now i had a friend where it would happen like once or twice every conversation and then i finally said to them i said you know you can say to the kid i'm on the phone right now and they were like i just did that's why i hung up to deal and like you get to hang up to do that it's not a big deal guys it's not a rejection it's just saying to your kid hey i'm busy right now give me a second oh god it's car sorry smart dog i'm glad you appreciate it yeah i feel like honestly i mean as the gen z in the booth i do think that there's like a lack of understanding of like your p's and q's that like older generations like no like i think that maybe like we could be a little educated yeah i think it's because you guys are afraid to be mean because it feels mean to say that like hey shut the fuck up on the phone you know i mean it sounds like a mean thing to do when it's really that's normal it's like no you're the crazy one coming up to me but that's easy for i don't know me to do it's not a personal thing but i feel like that's hard for gen z to do all right so two of the pussians are fully with me one pussian is on the fence is that what i'm reading here that's what it sounds like yeah all right well fuck off then to the one Now I feel like we need names for all the pussy hounds, which is going to deflate the whole purpose of coming up with the nickname. Well, I beg to differ because the reason why I said smut dog is because it's also a dog therefore when you say pussy hounds as the collective it does kind of fit into the group. All right, other pussy hounds, you got to come up with nicknames for yourselves, we're going to showcase them next week or the week after, all right? The N word, that's mine. That is a black person speaking, by the way, speak very clear. I'm a black man speaks, you listen. All right, let's, don't come up with a better one than that. All right, let's move on to your wrong. All right, you're wrong this week. Now we're getting into a little bit more of the macro and this is another thing we're at the end of this. I'm going to go to the team and ask if I'm being crazy, but I want to talk about flock cameras, all right, flock cameras. Everybody is up in arms about these flock cameras. Now, let me be clear, and if we clip any of this, make sure this is clear. I am not for flock cameras in any way, shape or form. I do not that they are good. I think the cons far outweigh any potential pros, okay? I am not a supporter of flock cameras. But I find it amusing that most of the people who are in the highest panic over these cameras are probably coming from the same sample group of people that think it's just fine, that everybody is whipping out their phone to record the misdoings of a neighbor at any given second. All right, people, we got to take responsibility at some point for our own behavior. Flock cameras, whether they are or not, you could make the argument that they're another example of a culture we created, a byproduct of that culture we created. It is not just the authoritarians doing the dirty deeds. We're guilty of it too. We're doing the very thing to each other. We're angry that the powers that be are doing to us. In flock cameras and phone cameras, that's not the only example, okay? There's a lot of examples. Everybody's pissed off about AI, yet everybody seems to be using chat GPT, all right? Half the people are pissed off about government censorship of art and entertainment. The other half are pissed off about YouTube demonetization, yet nobody can seem to get on the same page about any of that. Nobody wants laws, but everybody wants safety. Nobody wants to express themselves, but nobody wants to hear anybody else's opinion. Something is not adding up over here. This is the real issue, okay? Everybody wants to rage against the machine until the machine can prove to be convenient for them. You can't rage against the machine while occasionally utilizing it, okay? That's like saying, well, I'm sort of an alcoholic. I get drunk sometimes, or I kind of have a peanut allergy, you do or you don't. There's a perspective here that I find very disturbing with these behaviors I'm talking about, and that perspective is bad behavior is only bad when I'm not the person administering it. Violence is fine as long as it's committed by the people. Over-policing is fine as long as it's committed by the people. Rights trials are fine as long as they're conducted by the people. Dismissal of information and facts is fine as long as they're dismissed by the people. But the second, the power is the B, do any of this shit, everybody is up in arms. We need to make a fucking decision here, people, all right? Are we truly against all these practices? Yes or no. If the answer is yes, then we need to stop engaging in them. These are right or wrong, moral or immoral, ethical or unethical through and through. This selective righteousness shit, it's for the birds, all right? I fucking hate flock cameras. You know what else I hate? Some dickhead shoving an iPhone in a guy's face at a Starbucks because they had a slight verbal altercation. I hate government censorship. A video getting banned from a social media platform because it dared to ask a few honest questions that didn't fall in line with the narrative. I hate deportation of innocent people from this country. A bunch of assholes deciding somebody's guilt on social media without due process. Let's stop with the contradictory behavior. Let's stop. Enough. Look at Superman. Superman as your example, Superman doesn't pick a team. He doesn't say it's okay to kill once in a while, okay? He has one focus, pursuing good, fighting evil, sticking with that policy. That's it. You know what that is? Righteous. Completely righteous. Not selectively righteous. Superman is righteous. So let's all get on the same page and rail against the same enemy. No matter what enemy that fuck, oh, I was on a roll. So let's get on, fuck, fuck, so let's all get on the same page here. Yeah. Let's all get on the same page and complete a sentence. So let's all get on the same page here and rail against the same enemy no matter what team that enemy claims to be on, even if that enemy at some point turns out to be Superman. All right. I think that ending made sense despite my fumble, yeah? Did it track? Yeah. All right. Yeah. All right, pussy hounds. Let's keep it moving. All right. I think that's a sound argument I just made. Oh yeah, for sure. The grade of good. Don't blow smoke up my ass. You dick sucker. In fact, you're dick sucker from now on. You've got smut dog, dick sucker, and the end, no, no, we're not doing that. We're not doing that because you're going to assume me in 10 years. Nobody's safe for me in suit. Do I have dick sucker? Whoa, it's somehow worse. All right, let's, what do we got? I think we got what a world, yeah? Tropical Storm Dolly forms in the Atlantic. No, it wasn't named after Dolly Parton. Tropical Storm Dolly forms in the Atlantic completely coincidentally. Bullshit. Bullshit. It wasn't named after, did it, was it named after she died? Uh, no, it just happened to be next in line. No, all right, then I take it back. Not Bullshit. All right, sorry. It also wasn't named after her. It's, this is all just. Well, yeah, I mean, yeah, I, if Dolly Parton was still alive, I would not have even questioned it being named after her. I would never have thought it was named after Dolly Parton. Um, all right. Well, there you go. Dolly's still hidden. Even though we lost her, she's not with us here anymore. There's still a, there's still a Dolly out there making some noise. I like it. I like it. Where's it hidden? Is it going to hit the states or is it just kind of hidden? Uh, it looks like it's. I don't know how to read a map. What is that? That's the way geography is so embarrassing. God, I'm an idiot. Dominican Republic, it looks like. Okay, that's the Dominican Republic. Just hanging out in the Caribbean. By the way, why are we not all going down to the DR? Look how close it is. I probably got some Cuba. Puerto Rico right there. Is it bad to go to. Yeah, I don't Puerto Rico's right. Where's Puerto Rico? I know it's right in there somewhere. Right there to the right of it. There you go. A little company field trip. Wow. Puerto Rico is that much smaller than the Dominican Republic? I had no idea. God, I'm a fucking moron. I don't know anything. It is a crime that they put me in front of a microphone, everyone. Jesus Christ. Dude, I thought Puerto Rico was the size of like Mexico. Where are all these Puerto Ricans coming from? The island is tiny. I think we can get Seinfeld to do that bit, if I said it to him. I don't know him, but let's get to his people. Jerry, we got a great bit for you. It's about how Puerto Rican is so tiny yet there seem to be Puerto Ricans all over. What do you think? I'm a fan. I don't think we'll do it. You've done a lot of Seinfeld lately. I think you could do your own Seinfeld impersonation at this point. I did a Seinfeld impersonation on the Pete Homes show. I have a puppet. I have a Seinfeld puppet. I did a character on the P-Home show called New Material Seinfeld and I was a puppet of Seinfeld. You want to workshop some material for us with that voice? I don't remember a lot of it because it was not solely written by me. It was written by a team of us at the show. So I don't really remember a lot of the material. You know what? There's clips of it on YouTube you could find. We could play one at some point on here. But that would be a great, well we couldn't have done that bit on TBS because they would have seen it as us mocking Puerto Ricans, which we're not doing. I'm just making a dumb joke that it's a small island. There was also an episode of Seinfeld that was, I guess, banned in the Puerto Rican Day episode? Yes. Interesting little connection there. Yeah, but yeah, that is not one that would have flown on the talk show. But I do have a lot of, I still occasionally will write in the, without realizing it right in my head in like a Seinfeld voice and then I'll go, I can't do this joke. This is like a Seinfeldie kind of joke and I don't have that kind of delivery. So I have jokes in my own that I've lost, even though I thought they were funny. Woman's about fire trucks, about how fire trucks are the frat guys of all emergency vehicles. You know, you know, is there anything more annoying than a frat, than a fire truck? These things are the frat guys of emergency vehicles coming down the street, making a bunch of noise, big red face. It's like a drunk tear it through your neighborhood two o'clock in the morning, it's obnoxious. That's kind of Seinfeldie. It's not bad, yeah. It was good, that would have been good enough for the puppet. I promise you that would have been good enough for the puppet. Anyway, folks, that's our show. It's always nice to end on a Seinfeld note. Let's pull out my dates. Big, big, big announcement. Big show is on sale right now, folks December 19th. I am coming back to Phoenixville, Pennsylvania, my hometown to do the colonial theater. Home for the holidays part two. We did part one last year. This is the second time we're doing this. It is going to be a great time. I'm going to have some special guests and things going on at that show. Come on out. Tickets are on sale now. Also, before we get to December 19th. I have October 9th in Hobart, Indiana, Art Theater, October 10th, Grand Rapids, Michigan, the big room, October 11th, the drop comedy club in South Bend, Indiana, October 23rd through the 25th, the comedy mother ship in Austin, Texas, November 13th, Skankfest, November 19th through the 23rd. Berk Christchurch is fully loaded at sea. And again, December 19th, Phoenixville, Pennsylvania, Home for the holidays part two. All tickets are available at Joderosa.com. Thanks for listening. Please subscribe to the channel. You can find us at Joderosa Comedy on YouTube. Hit that like button and all that stuff. And we'll see you next time. But before we go, here it is, White Women's. (upbeat music) ♪ Let's look it up, let's put it down ♪ ♪ Let's look it up, let's put it down ♪ ♪ Let's run this game on the world and down ♪ ♪ Yeah, let's look it up, let's put it down ♪ ♪ Let's run this game on the world and down ♪ ♪ Yeah, take it up, you gotta put it down ♪