You Are Not Your Past: The Power to Begin Again with Rabbi Pinchas Allouche and Ian Lopatin

— Don't Quit. Keep Playing. And most important, speak to yourself every morning, every night, so that you can remind yourself of that heart, of that voice that tells you, don't quit. Keep playing. Because when you keep playing, just like that seven-year old boy in Shakuria, you'll be composing the most magnificent melody the world has ever heard, and you will be bringing sweetness not just to your lives, but to count this lives all together, now and forever. I heard your words. — When Fire Touches Fire I was deeply moved. Thank you. And I feel like this is a meeting of souls. And when souls meet, magic happens. It reminds me, if I may just because I'm feeling it, of this great story about two young Jewish boys. We're playing the game. The game was that the 8 year old needed to be a rabbi's minister and a six year old brother needed to be his student. And at one point the six year old student comes to the 8 year old rabbi and says, saying, there's a verse in the Bible that says that God is a consuming fight, so how can we come close to him? Wilber and the 8 year old rabbi answers the six year old student and he says you're right, if you come close to fire, you burn, but inside of you, you also have a fire. And when fire touches fire, it doesn't burn and only expands the lines. But I'm sharing the story now just to prepare because this is the way I feel that fire was touching fire in this room and the line is expanding and it's illuminating not just this trip, but I won't all together. I have no doubt. I want to share with you the story on my favorites about this young man. — You Are More Than You Think Speaking of God, this young boy also comes to his mother and says, mom, I have to ask you the question, where did we all come from? Mother says, what do you mean we come from God? God created Adam and Eve and the rest of humanity. He came down at lineage. He's not happy, so he goes to his father. He says that where do we all come from? His dad says, don't you know the Darwin theory? We all come from Ace. Now he's completely confused, so he goes back to his mother. He says, mom, I don't understand. You say that we come from God. Dad says that we come from Ace. What's the real answer? The mother says there's no contradiction. I was speaking about my side of the family, but inside of the family. But I reminded of the story because indeed, when we live lives, we sometimes measure ourselves as God and sometimes, unfortunately, we measure ourselves as apes. Sometimes we are spiritual beings and sometimes in our eyes, we are just physical beings. But the truth is that indeed, in every one of us there is a fire, never one of us. As you've and as you've experienced, not just learned these past two days, there's a soul with infinite potential, a soul that is divine and therefore no wall keeps standing in front of it, no obstacle get threatened. That is the consciousness that we should show up with each and every day. We're a soul. And therefore impossible, as Adele says, is nothing. My favorite story about truly my favorite story about a dear friend of mine, Rabbi Dr. Hersh Weiner, was his name. He's a story that he himself experienced in the 70s. He had many questions. He had many self deaths, and he wanted to speak to the wise man that could help him solve these questions. So he went and he downed up the number of one of the great rabbis of our generation, perhaps of history. His name is Rabbi Mnathan Shearson with a bava cherava. With blessed memory. He does up his number. The secretary of this great rabbi answers and he says, look, here's a Jew from Maryland. We don't want to share his name there has many questions and I would love to speak to the rabbi if he has time. The secretary says, oh, it's funny because the rabbi is right here next to me. Let me ask him. He says, here's a Jew from Maryland on the line, has many questions and he wants to speak to you. Rather. The rabbi says, oh, he's from Maryland. I suggest that he speaks to Doctor Weinler. This was Doctor Weinler Corner. So the secretary says the rabbi suggests that he speaks to Doctor Weinrich. Dr. Weinrich is flabbergasted as but I am Doctor Weinrich and it's me with the questions. So the secretary goes back to the rabbi in the room and says it is Doctor Weinrich. The rabbi was that skip of the beat says to the secretary that if that's the case, then tell Doctor Weinrich that from time to time it's good to speak to yourself. — Speak to Your Deeper Self I'm sharing this story because yes, we have to show up as souls. We have to see ourselves as souls. We cannot be defined by our limitations. We must be defined by our limitless potential. But how do we do so? I want to share with you this morning just three thoughts, three suggestions. The first one is the one we just mentioned, that sometimes we must speak to ourselves, to our deepest self. This is the purpose of prayer. This is the purpose of meditation in which we set ourselves. All right. The world may have tried to define us like A or like B. Well, I'm not A and I'm not B. I'm much more than that. A dear friend of mine lost a 16 year old child and about 3 months thereafter I met her. And I said to her, wow, how do you smile? And she said to me, how do I smile? I'll tell you how I'm in pain, but I don't become likely, I mean tears, but I don't become my tears because I know that I am so much more than my pain and my tears. How does she do that? Daily meditation, what she called daily prayer. When she connects to the deeper self, then the deeper self shows up. — Someone Who Remembers Your Song It is revealed. And then no matter what she faces throughout the day with emotion or what threat she may face, she knows that she's not then threat, she's not then obstacle. So that's tool #1 tool #2 I would say is, and I'm speaking from the thing ready for my own personal experiences, is the need to have a mentor that loves you, a mentor that knows you and friends and family that really care about you and that can at times tell you the truth. Even though it may be hard to swallow. You know, the line of what defines a friend is a line that is just so powerful. It's a line in fact, was hung at the on the door of the entrance of my beloved mentary parcel just a few years ago. I went back to Jerusalem to his home just two months ago and that that line was still hanging on the door. And I asked his son if I can take it home because that cherishes the line of the definition of a friend is someone who can remind you of the song of your heart when you have forgotten it. Someone who can remind you of the song of your heart when you have forgotten it. That's why there is a need for mantis, for friends, for family that really care about you. Because often in life you forget the song of our hearts. We are either so immersed in the boisterous noises of the world, or we are so despair and start to define ourselves by others, not by that song that we spoke about, that we forget that song mentors will not forget, and they'll remind you of who you truly are. And that song that you have, even when you have forgotten it, spoke about the Lubavitcherabba Ravishneh, son of Blessing memory. It was also a great mentor of mine. But I recall the time in which music composer came to receive his blessing and it's on video. You can see it on YouTube today. But this music composer outline and he already was in an advanced stage. He had already forgotten even eyes only meant to look like that he came to receive the blessing from. And when it comes to the rabbi, you can see that it has ratified. And the rabbi stops the mind. And instead of getting a blessing, he starts to sing one of his songs. Stop. Recall the song. That's a beautiful song. And all of a sudden you see the transformation on the face of this great composer, that his life is coming back, that his smile is being reignited, and that his soul is being refined. This is the art of a true mantle, someone that can remind you of this song when you're not to talk to him. — The Power of One Good Choice That's 2/3. The third tool, I think depends on our to change an expression that I quite dislike an expression that we hear often. We may even say often, but I'm just like because of one word in that expression. The expression is let's do random act of goodness. We've all got the right random acts of goodness and it sounds great. Yes, everyone should do random acts of goodness. My problem with that expression is, as I said, one word. Thank random. Random. Why random? Why are acts of goodness only dependent on when you feel inspired or elevated? You feel that it's time to do it randomly. How about we change the word random too intentional, much better. Consistent, thank you. Consistent. Whether you feel like a hold on any other words. Daily thank you daily, consistent, intentional. I love that because that is what it's about. There's a great debate of philosophy, and a Jewish philosophy and Aristotle of Socrates have this debate of whether a person should wait until his heart is inspired in order to do good, or whether a person should do good anyway because the deed might awaken the heart, not the heart of awakening the deed. I can tell you the Jewish answer, and that is that the deed indeed awakens the heart. Sometimes we feel low, sometimes we feel uninspired. The best remedy to that is go and do something good. Not random, but consistently. Our intention. God, was it the same. You have this senior citizens next to your home. Go and just pick up the call, the phone and call someone that you know needs a lift, a soulful lift. And you'll see that magically, almost automatically, your heart will be transformed. You will feel inspired because then it's the D that leads to the heart, not the heart that leads to the D Consistent and of goodness is another way to remind ourselves that we have a soul, because when we do good, that good deed is then aligned to our deeper self that is good, the divine soul itself. You know the great story about Chick Korea? Is anyone here a Chick Korea fan? I had the privilege of seeing Chick Korea a few times. My favorite performance of his was a blue nose in your city. Been to a jazz bar, to a Chick Korea was a masterful musician as you all know, and there's a great story about him giving a concert once, I think it was at Carnegie somewhere, and this mother wanted to show the beauty of Chick Corea's music to a 7 year old son. So she said come, I'm going to take you to the best concert at your live clinic. She goes to the concert and just a few minutes before the concert is about to begin, the seven-year old son disappears. She's all anxious. Where is he? I can't go get him. This light's about to shut off. The concept is about to begin. She just sits and hoax and it comes back, but he doesn't. The lights to shut off. The concept begins. The curtain opens up and to her astonished water fire, she sees A7 year old boy on the piano that was prepared for the Korea at the stage and he's there playing with one finger. Twinkle. Twinkle doesn't know what to do. She shot and suddenly Chuck Korea comes on stage. Everyone is asking the same question, what is Chuck Korea going to do? And amazing, just so divine, Chicoryavan goes to the seven-year old boy and he says to him, don't quit, keep playing, don't quit, keep playing. And then he puts his left arm on the left side of the board, his right arm on the right side of the board. And together they play quick little star in the most magnificent, defined, sublime way. It was the concept of the century. And as he was playing with the seven-year old boy Chuck Three, I kept saying, don't quit, Keep playing, don't quit, keep playing. Our divine soul tells us all day long, don't quit. Keep playing consistent acts of goodness. Keep playing the song of your mouth and forgotten it. Go to your mantis. And most important, speak to yourself every morning, every night, so that you can remind yourself of that heart of that voice that tells you, don't quit. Keep playing. Because when you keep playing, just like that seven-year old boy in South Korea, you'll be composing the most magnificent melody the world has ever heard. And you will be bringing sweetness not just to your lives, but to count this lives all together now and forever. I thank you any, any, any questions. We'll open this up to questions. Then we'll have to fireplace. Also conversation with Ian. I'm very much looking forward to. Oh, I like insistent daily intention. I like all those words. I would say insistent phantom pin love. I'm very consistent. Speaker 2 Conscious. Speaker 1 Sorry. Speaker 2 Conscious. Speaker 1 Conscious. I love the sound. What's the like? Insistent and conscious. Yeah, I love that. I think both right. Insistent and harmful. So again, one of the great, if I May 1, of the great Talmudic stories on Georgetown composed some 2000 years ago. It was the story of a shepherd by the name of Akiva. He was completely ignorant and one day shepherd in his sheep and he sees drops of water hitting the same spot on the rock time and time of day. And he goes back to that rock every day and he sees that the water is creating a bowl in the rock. And he says to himself, poor, it's this water can penetrate a rock and the waters of my soul can penetrate my law, my heart that it's a rock right now. And he decided to reconnect to his soul through study, through meditation and through so many other ways. And after 24 years, he became one of the greatest scholars of his generation. It's that consistent drip, the water on the rock, intentional conscious that that he creates magic. Yes, he's understanding the Harvard. Speaker 2 Stone So, Rav, I thank you. — Raising Children Who Give OK, So this is a real treat for me. I I admire you so much. And every time we're together, I learn so much and always just so really special. Speaker 1 Strength of time. Speaker 2 And I'm grateful for you coming here and sharing your wisdom with all of us. And there's a lot of stuff that you covered already, but I would like to talk about this idea of consistency. And I'll say one of the things I said when first came in and almost used to say, there's a reason that Wellness starts to breathe and illness starts to die. And I don't know anyone who's more legal than you are. All day long, seven days a week, you're helping people, whether they're getting married, having a kid, someone's dying, you're taking, you know, you have 10 children you've got, but you're all over the world. But you're so focused on other people and you're always helping and you have limitless, boundless and everything. And you're so consistent about it. And never we talked about, I never heard you complain. You're, it's just you're constantly helping everyone all the time, super consistently. And I'd love to just let you know, 1 how do you pass it on your kids? Because I mean, 10 children, a couple were here yesterday and this year they, they're all super consistent and they're out there doing this wonderful stuff in the world. So just share a little bit about that. Speaker 1 Well, thank you. First of all, we should ask our wife if I'm never complaining and so on. But thank you, Yeah, for those kind words. Look, I think education boils down to just one concept, modeling, believing in what we do and modeling. You can speak to your children as much as you want and tell them what to do as much as you want, but if you don't do it yourself, it just doesn't work, doesn't click. Mark Twain famously said that people spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on education and in the end, the $5, they lose it all. When when they go the children to the amusement park and they chopped over the fence to save $5 on their ticket, that's when they lose it all. So you have to model it and you really have to believe in it. And I think the Childs and children connect to that. Children connect to truth. Children are so pure and innocent that they want truth, they desire truth, they seek truth. And if you give them truth, they're not connect or make them an empath. So that's one. I think that also the, the I love what your mother says, that the Wellness begins with three and illness begins with five. I think that the greatest educational one can have for children all together is to develop the world and to not to I'm not when you live in a generation. They put Brooks Jonas false author and they go in, you know, some good books, but then he calls it the age of narcissism. That's the age we live in. I don't know if I agree with that, but it is an age in which can put the focus so much on the eye right. We have an iPhone and an iPad and even though we are you familiar with the we that gave the knife its way, we spelled with two I's. I think finally some topic went right. That's UEII. But so it's the I I, I and I think one way to break that and one way to truly involve them into lights is by asking them to give, asking them to participate in giving. We host dinners every Friday night and everyone here is walk coming up. Please bring as many people as you wish. Truly everyone's walk out every Friday. We have the Sabbath and we have Shabbat dinner for that, and they all participate. Some prepare the plates on the table, some are there as the greeners and some are there just as the weight of, so to speak, during the meal. But they have to give, and it's the best school in the world when they have when they learn to give and then they the potential becomes limited. Speaker 2 I love Shabbatic, the house and I always joke with Astra, I'm just going to leave one of my kids and I'll swap on the kids and see if they see if they change a little bit. So there's a couple other things and a lot of stories come in mind beyond being a great rabbi. He's an incredible concert pianist and he's also very, you're lifting to his, you're very present all the time. So we all, whatever we can be having is incredible medical experiences. And I started thinking back and we told a story about the pianist about our time. One night you're in Jerusalem and it was like 1:30 in the morning and they're walking back and we stopped in the Waldorf Astoria and there's a piano and it's 1:30 and I'm the crab. I sit down and play and then he sits down and sits and then there's a whole, a couple of girls from New York and she's a concert piano. So then she starts playing some. He plays a song, he plays a song. By the end of the they're pulled at the piano playing and people are crowding around bars. Just this magical moment of the serendipity of just one expressing their guests and view, but just cherry and do you think that's inside and I think that's a great analogy. We all have this great music inside you and I love the idea of your mentor reminds you of your music. I condensed a little folk. I took the rabbit of the spear to see my favorite music, the grateful day. So he's not even normal. We can talk a little bit about music in your family and your childhood and there's a piano in your office. There's a piano how music plays a role in how you seem like only did. — Music Is the Language of the Soul Yes, I think you could speak about that a little bit more, especially after being with the atmosphere, watching with that. This is a wine and experience. Hello. I think that music is the language of the soul and therefore whether you sing in tune or off tune, you should have music dating part of your life dating part of your life consistent conscious part of your life because it is the way the soul communicates. And now there are different types of songs, different types of musical positions and backgrounds, and everyone has to find their oath and remind that one of the great catalyst Mystics, Mystics in Judaism by the name of Rabbi Schrell Kyle Shemtov, who said that when a person passes on, there are three steps. 1 is that we cry, the second is that we remain silent, and the third is that we sing. So they're asking to cry if we can understand the natural response to remain silent. Yes, sometimes the tears dry up, but to say why say what? A person passes on and he responded so beautifully. That is because when God creates each and every one of us, He plants in us a song. And it is the duty of every person to sing that unique song as they are living this world. When they pass on, it becomes the duty of those who love, who love them, to continue to sing their own unique song. Everyone has their own unique song. Some for some it's a song of wisdom, for others it's a song of kindness, and for others it's a song of just pure selflessness and care. Everyone is their own song. And when we play music, and you can ask that musician, I'm sure they'll tell you the same thing. Because when I play music, I remind myself of my own song or the song that I've planted in me when I was clear. I think that's what music does. That in general, if you listen to music, if you completely tune out music, you're all of a sudden becoming one with that music. It's not like you're listening to something else. It's almost like you're listening to yourself. And then when you listen to yourself, you remind yourself of that unique song that is starting, that you have to live by and live with every day. Until we're gone. And then the ones we love us will continue to sing our song. Speaker 2 It's beautiful I want to go back to what you talked about earlier about doing good deeds of doing deeds for elderly idea of consistent. One of the things I might most by using the consistency of your character. But we talked a lot in here about the state looking in a suffering state or beautiful state, and I find one of the greatest ways for me to get to a beautiful state is helping others been doing but here gives me called mitzvahs. But the idea of constantly practicing and finding ways to help other and doing it consistently all day long. And I do believe that that only can become more other focus focusing on the lead or when you actually take action and do things you feel better about yourself, you can change your spade. We had talked about you did a little bit more about like this concept of like mitzvah and doing code in the world and how not only does that affect the world, but it actually facts you. Speaker 1 Love that and you live that. I know that and you live by that and you live with that. But I'm going to go back to another quote of mind that I love. And the quote says that there are two types of people that fail. — When Your Plan Gets in the Way Those that don't have a plan, you need a plan. If you want to become a doctor, you need a plan. If you want to have successful week, you need a plan. But those that are obsessed with their plans also fail because if you're obsessed with your plan, then you don't allow God to introduce to you his plan for you. And his plan for you might be very different than your plan for yourself. And I think that's the secret of being other oriented. When it's only about my plan, then it's me and my ego, my eye. When it's about the other, then all of a sudden I'm saying, OK, God, I know that at the plan and I know that at the meeting at 2:30 and but I also know that someone just called me at 2:15. I need to find out. Maybe that's your way of saying, hey, come out of your ego and be other oriented and follow that plan. And what's amazing, truly amazing, is that when you develop that metallic and it's not only about your command though, it's about God's plan for you too, you realize that your life is taken to levels and to to spiritual, the levels of consciousness I would say that you yourself could never reach. I don't know if you're familiar with the story of Nicholas Winton. Nicholas Winton was a hero. He was a stockbroker, 1938, and he had planned a vacation in Switzerland. He was living in Great Britain and in the sun. After this vacation in Switzerland, he had another vacation. All of a sudden he gets a phone. I'll make the story very quick. He gets a phone call from a friend in Czechoslovak and he tells him, hey, I know that you have this vacation plan, that you have to come and help me. There are kids in the streets, abandoned Jewish families that have been kicked out. Please come and help me save that. That you could have said I have my plan and I'm obsessed with my plan. But instead he said to his friend, I'm coming. He went to Czechoslovakia and he organized what's called kind of transports, transports of children to Great Britain. These children who abandoned found their home, thanks. And they just went in and break Britain of adoptive families. And he had saved all together 660 children until the the Second World War began September 1st night to 39. And then he had to stop. There was no way for him to get the children to grave victim. Today, Nicholas 110 is not known as a stock proverb, but he's known as the one of the greatest heroes of the past century because he had saved 660 children, which really are much more because these children gave birth to children, gave birth to grandchildren, all of that. Why I'm saying to myself because he wasn't obsessed with these plans. He said to himself, I'm going to put my plans aside. I'm going to be other oriented. And that took him to levels that himself that I've never reached. Speaker 2 You know, it's so beautiful. One of the one of the things we do every morning, the meditation is we put out there what you want to happen, but also the it's the idea of not only do I want this to happen, it's the universe, God, something or something even better. And a lot of times what I, what I experience is I have an idea more than a plant is more than an idea or a seed that I want to plant. And what I see what comes in frigates always better. And it's always past components that I didn't even think of her. But it's the ability to be flexible and to be open and to not be so stuck to my way. I think one of the greatest things that I've done in the last couple of years is I used to always have to be right or had to be my way. Now I know there's a pedal way and more I'm becoming a the channel of vehicle just to be open more present. I can become the more that I see these opportunities to pivot or bring in other things or. And can you talk a little bit about how, how you're able to be open to God's plan or for the for me, I I wise words, coincidence and it be synchronous. My life is full of these things of miracles. But I also know that a lot of people are so closed off, but they miss all this other stuff and it's a lot we're talking to. But how does someone in the city out there who's got a plan they want to do it be open to God's mind or all the, you know, and I think too, because we're young, we have it, but there's a real high frequency. But when you get these high frequency moments, it helps you stay up. It helps you get out there. But how do we help people leave people who are in the 20s and people who are in their 60s here and all. And I'm watching them open up and I see their faces today versus 2 days ago. And what I'm seeing is like they're becoming less rigid. They're becoming less duck to their way. They're becoming open to positive build. One of the things that I would like to say is if you know it, there's no possible, if you're just going to keep leaving Compass Devar, there's no possibility you're going to get the same thing. But what can we share with everyone here? How do you get open to possibility and then how do you build them on now? Speaker 1 That's the billion dollar question. Look, I think that first and foremost one has to be interviewed with his soul like we spoke about before, because the soul wants to get the soul wants to do good. But if we're not open to it, if we don't know it, then we want to go and, and be kind. It's almost to me, but I would say that a lot that it has to do with letting go. — Stop Carrying Yesterday Into Tomorrow In the Jewish tradition, there is a prayer that we sight each and every night before going to sleep. One of my favorites. It's the prayer of letting go in which we say to God, whatever happened today, I'm letting go good or bad. If I'm affected by this foundation of previously garnish, it doesn't matter. I'm letting go. And the reason we do that is because we know that you cannot say hello freedom if you haven't said goodbye atrium or goodbye Rogers. And if we are to embrace the freedom of the next day, then the night before we have to say goodbye goodbye to anything that made me pulling me down, let it go. I think it's key also to the Philippine, the openness to God's plan, because if it's about me and my projects and my way of thinking and my toxicity are becoming prison, even if I want to be open to God's plan, I can't because things are pulling me down backwards. So by letting go of any type of toxicity, we're opening ourselves up, not just to our team yourself, but to God's plan for us. Speaker 2 So that's so beautiful. I want to go a little deeper here because I think the concept of letting go, everyone gets right. And there's a great book, Letting Go by David Hawkins, who passed away. Incredible. But there's a lot of people in this room with that child and Trump or the relationship to North I and now we're 3040 years later and they understand. I know I got to let go of this, but how do they do it? So can we talk about really, how do you let go? And then we talked a lot about forgiveness and forgiveness being it's not for the other person, it's for yourself. Because the way I look at letting go or forgiveness is the these grudges that we call, they keep us bound to the self, which is with the ego and all this other stuff. And I think you're protecting the self by holding on to this stuff so it doesn't happen again, but you're depriving your soul of the next experience of life because you're carrying all this baggage from your past with you. You know, we're talking later today about entangling to your future self. And there's all these different versions of yourself. But if your present self is totally entangled with your past self, your future self is going to look exactly like your past self. So I think we've done a lot of processes in here. We've been doing healings. But the idea of how do we actually, because one of the things that I've been telling everyone, it's like, I don't give a shit what you know, how can you do it? So how can you tell people? So what are some practical links to actually put this in action, to let go and to get beyond? Speaker 1 These things that we. Speaker 2 Kind of caring with us from our past because that's one of the things I see the most and you can have an intellectual understanding. I know I need to let go of this but either they people don't know. Speaker 1 How? Speaker 2 Or they, they, there's some false benefit they see in kind of holding on to it. So I'd love your perspective on that because I think that'll almost make, there's a lot of people here working through different stuff. And I think this is one of the biggest things that I see if people dragging them past in their future. So their future looks exactly like the past. Yeah. Speaker 1 Look, I'll share 2 quick thoughts. Number one is that we often think that letting go means forgiving. We think that letting go means that nothing happened, man, I'm just fine. I don't think that's step one of letting go. Step one of letting go is being able to compartmentalize, to say, OK, whatever happened, yes, I was both, but I'm going to stick this in a drawer and I'm going to lock it in. That's it. I'm not going to go back to it. I'm not going to allow to fact me or my identity decisions each and every day. That's step one, because if not, it does open come, you know, Nelson of that famously said it. Resentment is like drinking a poison and hoping that your enemy will die for it. Speaker 3 But. Speaker 1 You are the one dying for it. I recall as a as a young child, at 7 years old, there was a garb of stride in the city where I was born in Toulouse, France, southern born in France. And it went down for three weeks and the city sunk and it's a beautiful city. I think you've ever been to Toulouse, the very flowers. But the city stung later on in life. I said to myself, this happens quite a lot with people. We accumulate garbage here and we just let it sit and we let it swell. And one week goes by, two weeks and three and it sinks. It's tanks for. Speaker 2 Thinking why don't we go the garbage? Speaker 1 Collector to put this garbage in the drawer, don't we realize that it's killing us and not our enemy? That it's, it's really arming us in the most profound ways. So that's number one. Recognizing that, as they say, hatred works for later the most. But #2 I would say takes a whole different perspective, a more divine one. And that is that recognizing that what happens to you is happening for you. One of my favorite biblical characters is Joseph. Joseph has suffered tremendously in his life. He was sold as a slave by his own brothers. First they tried to kill him and then they realized they couldn't suddenly sold him as a slave and as a slave he ended up in Egypt. He was accused of rape while he was completely innocent. He was thrown in a dungeon for 10 years and that miraculously he was taken out of the dungeon. The Pharaoh would time recognized his wisdom and he appointed him the vice king of Egypt. As the vice king, he's responsible of giving food to people from the area who were experiencing famine. Some of these people were his own brothers. They are not coming to him. 20 years later, he recognizes them. They don't recognize him. 20 years has passed, but he decides to forgive them. And when he reveals himself, these brothers, he says to them, you don't have to be afraid. I'm not going to take my revenge. I have more than both to do. So I'm the vice king, but I'm not going to take my revenge because I wasn't sold you. You may think that you sold me, but I wasn't sold you. That's not the way I choose to view my life. I was sent here to provide for me. You can view your life as being sold. I'm affecting. This is sold as cherry sold. These tables are sold passive. You have no say. We can view your life as big sent. Wherever you are. Even in those toughest situation, you are sent. God has made things happen for you so that you can use anything and everything that has happened to you or for you as part of your mission as ways to give, to eliminate, to brighten this world. And we all know people may suffer all sorts of diseases from cancer to traumas to and the ones that inspired me the most for the people that take their own disease and transform them into a source of inspiration to so many others. I have a friend like this who was severely injured. He lost both of his legs. And now he goes to every hospital and he goes to the angry teams and he says to them, you can persevere because I didn't. That's what it means that things don't happen to you that happened for you because we are not soul. Souls are not souls, souls of sense. We are gods and vestedness of goodness and kindness to this world. Speaker 2 That's so beautiful. The rabbi has so many great stories. I'm going to ask you to tell another one because I think it really goes for what we're talking about today. It's about, I think it's been just seeing the scar. You mind sharing that story with? I think it's really beautiful and I think there's a lot of wisdom that people can learn from from us. Speaker 1 Sure. I think we said the last time there's a. Speaker 2 Different audience. Speaker 1 It's a great story. It's a story about the neighbor of mine growing up. I moved quite a bit growing up. As I told, he was born in Toulouse, France, and we moved to South Africa. Then we moved to Israel. The neighbor of my family in Israel was a man who had a big scar right here on his right cheek. And we always were afraid because we had the scar and we don't want to look at him or we don't want to make him feel uncomfortable. But at one point I said to my friends, we've got to ask him what the story is about the scar. I was about 14 years old and he's my friend. Said fine, next time we meet him, we'll ask him. Few days went by and we meet my neighbor in the streets not far away from my home. So we said to him, you'll see, if you don't mind us asking you what happened to you. You always see you with the scar. What's the story? And Yossi says, I'll tell you something. I was 18 years old and I was coming back home late at night from school and I was passing by the spark and all of a sudden and hear this voice shouting. I'd see though. I'd see though which And he would mean save me. Oh. So he follows the sound of the voice, and he finds a woman being attacked by a man. Just behind the Bush. So he said to himself, I'm taking him and he jumps on an attacker and he starts to wrestle with him and he tells this woman this is not the kind of, you know, right away survival out there with him and he's able to overcome him. But unfortunately, he don't realize that this attacker had a knife in his sock that he pulled out and tried to stab him and he stabbed his streak and he was rushed to the hospital and he thanked out the cover, but he never got it from the scar and that the star left on him. A few years go by, he tells us it's time to date and get married. And he goes on a date and on another date and on another date and they're all at the same way. You're a great guy, but no thank you. You know, the signs are done. Thank you. But so that it's not you, it's me. And he says I know why it's my scar. I'm never going to get married. And at one point he tells his friends and it's time to stop trying to set me up. It's just not going to work. After a few months, one of his friends tells him, you know what, please just give it one last try. I found this wonderful woman for you. I think you'll fit perfect. Says fine. Just because it's you over because I'm on the state and it lasts for four hours and never a date. It lasted for four hours. Now after four hours, this lovely woman asks him a question. There's no one and ever dare ask him. And that one Yossi, why let's go. And Yossi tells this woman, I was 18 years old. I was coming from school. I heard this woman shouted, Silo helped save me and I went and I saved her. And this attacker stabbed me on my cheek. As is telling the story, the reason says that this woman is sobbing. And she says to him at one point, gossip, it was you. I've been looking for you for so many years. That's that, that he was the one. She was the woman that Yossi had saved on that fateful night. And obviously I went on the second date and on the third date and I actually got married and I know that I have five children since last time I checked they live in Jerusalem happily. All this because a woman was brave enough, was soulful enough, to see a person and a scar and look beyond it and see the Euro saying, and then not judging by his scar, by judging by that beautiful flower and he hands. Speaker 2 Cheek it's beautiful and as you're talking this story I can watch people tear up and it's we're being trained but I too felt that in the heart could feel that connection beautiful. So I want to talk a little bit about and talk about suffering state, stressful state and beautiful state. And I think at least it's my perception that a lot of people, they want to change. They want to live in a beautiful state. They want to get out of stress. But it's like their home is in this suffering space. I'm going to share a story and then I would love you just to help me unpack this for people. This is a story, You know what I had in my gurus from India and the host of the temple. And I said, that's what my picture was one of my favorite papers with me too. It's like you and Christians leave each other's eyes and it's like natural, but they tell a story. There's these two, there's a flower vendor in India and there's a fish vendor and they're at the mark and they see each other every day and they go there. And now the monsoon, I know if anyone's in India, but what have monsoons, it just comes, it's like the hoopoe times 100. So the fish from them is really far away. And they're like, OK, the flower. And this is come to my house and spend the night. We'll come down to the market tomorrow. So they go, they get rid of, they have dinner, they get rid of the bed, and that's the flower fender's house. If she goes upstairs in the bed and the fish Fender is sitting there and she can't sleep, but she's super uncomfortable. She's super uncomfortable and the house is filled with all these beautiful flowers and the fish Fender just can't fall asleep. Totally uncomfortable. So she goes and she gets her bucket of old smelly fish and she puts it right by her bed and then she's able to fall asleep. And the the story is this, like the smelly fish are in the suffering state, but people are. So it's so much their comfort zone to be in the suffering state that when they start to get. Speaker 1 Out of it and into this. Speaker 2 Beautiful state, they go back or they feel like hey I've gotten I'm more comfortable in this gnome, this smelly fish state then this beautiful flower state. So how about you share that? What's a great way to a lot of times we become our sort of like home base is the suffering state and they think, oh, I can do this. And then we go back to the smelly fish state. So what can you share with people of how to actually get out of that? What your cover zone is actually suffering, right? It's not comfortable, it's uncomfortable. Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. We know people like that, you know people like that. Unfortunately, 1st that's wig mentors and family and friends coming to play. The notes. We spoke about those three tools for mentors, family and friends coming to play and you're being open to that. But I will also say that it has a lot to do with the unknown. People are afraid of the unknown. They are afraid of that next step because they are clueless is what what will happen. I see that all the time or you see that the most. I just visited yesterday someone at a Hospice, and the greatest fear is the fear of death because it's the unknown. We have that fear in life too, unfortunately. So I understand the fear. But I will evoke my beloved rabbi and mentor very often say, and that is that the only way to climb the ladder is by losing your balance a little bit. If you stand up two feet all the time, you'll never be able to climb. You have to lose your balance a little and that will enable you to get to the next ramp. That's true with life. The only way to overcome that fear is by losing your balance. And that's fine if you feel that fear. It's fine if you are a little bit falling as long as you could hold up to that level because that is the greatest sign of growth. And where is the Dean will believe you the growth more than anything else, it's just being there for people being like so talk system telling me you're not going to talk, just lose your balance. I'll be next to you, I'll be holding you. And I think that's the greatest favour we could do for people more than as percent presently. Simple and telling people take that next step. And everyone has a different next step also. And sometimes they're very small step. Take that next step. And the more steps you'll take, the more you'll realize that's where the world lies. That's where life itself. Speaker 2 And So what about this idea of this, people call it their comfort zone, but when I look at most people, they're massively uncomfortable with what they call their comfort zone, right? And they'd rather stay in this uncomfortable place or just they can't get the courage to act and to take the action. So what do you tell people to get them to move, to get them to? Because I always say in the in the now there's infinite possibilities, but if you're if you want to be in the gnome, you're going to get exactly what you got. Speaker 1 Yeah, I think it's 93 words, you know, that just do it, Just do it. And sometimes it's just not even just do it, but there's something they're redeeming in the deed that almost releases you and from all those ropes that are putting you down. And just doing it is the greatest proof to people at all. I just did it and wow, I feel so free. I think that's what I thought. People, obviously every case is different and everyone has a different background, different context, but that's what it boils down to. Just do it repeatedly, consistently, with conscious attention. Speaker 2 And that circles back what you're saying earlier is do you wait to feel good to do the deed or do you actually do the deed? Because of that, you start to feel better. And I think that's the idea of these consistent acts of kindness. The more we do feel better, you feel. And I think everything's become habits, but you think the habit of actually doing it versus thinking about it. And look, there's all these people have all these excuses why they don't. Speaker 1 Do it. Speaker 2 This, this. It's just like all these stories they, they create to keep themselves stuck. You're a beautiful story. Every time someone tells me I'm stuck, I always think of you and your story. I'm like, there's no such thing as stuck, right? You're always in the right place. I always say I'm always in the right place at the right time. But can you talk about this idea of people who feel stuck or what the concept he said. Judaism. There's no such word as stuff. Speaker 1 Yeah, and it's a great story. Speaker 2 Let's get some stories. Speaker 1 There's a dear friend of mine. Her name is Barry Switlow. It was once stuck at an airport on a Friday night on a Friday afternoon. And she had to get back home for the two Sabbath and Friday night. But the flight is delayed, delayed then and again. I'm sure you've all forgiven the situation. And she didn't know what to do. So she called the rabbi who mentioned before, should I stay in Detroit? What do you think? What's your advice? Because I'm stuck here. And the rabbi says, what? I'm stuck here, what I'm stuck, He says to understand what the word stuck means. And she immediately understood that she wasn't stuck. And although she was stuck in this Detroit airport, she decided to use that moment as a moment that could be productive and food for self and for others. And she started going to other passengers and smiling at them, giving them presents and cheering them up. And until today, she has friends from that afternoon, which he felt. It's tough because as we said, things don't happen to you to happen for you to serve a mission, for you to be sent. She changed that, that perspective of being stopped, of being sent. And it changed not just her life, but so many others. Speaker 2 It's beautiful and I think it's a lot about awareness. Some of someone picked words before we started more of the words with awareness and just I think what I'm seeing is people are becoming more aware and are waking up. Their eyes are open. And we said that you perceive less than 1% of like all the frequencies around you. So what are the chances you're asking perceiving reality 0 right. So how do you have And there's another great quote is like the journey to new worlds is not it's not it's the journey is not about seeing new worlds. It's about looking with new eyes. So how do you help people get this expanded vision? It changes the way they're looking at because I think your perspective is outcome to turn out right. So what are the greatest thing to you to help people shift the way they look at them? So I think if I see you do it all the time with people, you're able to. We talked about it in training, like people hang out with you and they leave happy, right? Because I've seen it both times. So how are you able to get people to look at things differently? So then they go and take action They do Vince, was they good? They they get to be a participant in the world versus feel the stock. Speaker 1 So I'll tell you a little secret. The candy. Let's throw that and a secret is that when people did come and see me with all sorts of troubles and life's fluctuation, I have one boat and all of these meetings because most of the time it sounds to me like I need this and I need that and why is God damn this dominion? I want this to happen. And my goal is to change that question of what I need to the question of what am I needed for. I want people to leave my office with a renewed sense of purpose, not will just know what they need because those deeds may be fulfilled or maybe not, but what they are needed for is more important. Because once the others become, when we become purpose oriented, then meaning comes, happiness comes, all of life's blessed and awareness comes because then we are fulfilling that which our soul has always wanted to fulfill. So I think it's just watching, like watching what I need to, what if I needed for? And they are all needed for something. Sometimes what's granting grand scales and sometimes it's smaller scale. Sometimes just our friend that needs us today or our child that needs us today. And sometimes maybe something much, much greater. The world needs us for something great, but we always have to ask ourselves, what am I needed for much more than asking myself what I need. Speaker 2 But it's been I'm just thinking as you talk here, we're all searching what's my purpose in law? And then there's this in McDonald, right? People like what am I put on 3rd? And what I, I view about you is like you are living your life on purpose. I think one of the signs I get to see if someone is doing like health purpose is they can do. They never run out of energy. They have 15 hour days and they feel more energized to be evident and not exhausted. It's not like they're going to put in the time and something they hate and they go on and they crash on the couch. It's by refining the purpose of the woman. They're out there doing the work. And in doing that, they're creating a bunch of miracles. But also James Lyons talked yesterday about when you're Hindu, when you're in the now, in the present, you have limitless energy. It's written running with clean fuel. And if you're constantly like burning like the past and it's regrets or council on the future, you're basically leaking energy. Talk about it a little bit about how you found a New York purpose, because I know you always in want to be a rabbi. And then how you help people find their purpose because I think when you're living life on purpose, there's a flow to it. There's imagine to it and you don't get tired and you don't run out of energy, you actually get energy. Speaker 1 OK, I'll talk less about myself because it's not so, well, not that interesting. I did want to become an attorney. And then something happened and I because I was open to Dark's planet, I decided to become a rabbi. But I do have a theory that I think it's proven itself time and time again, but a theory about how to find your purpose. I call it the pop theory. Pop stands for the full letter is POPP stands for personality, opportunity, places and people. Let me explain. I think that in order to find our purpose, we first and foremost have to ask yourself, what is our team? What is our personality? What type of skills? What type of talents is God-given me? Because if I'm a musician and I do nothing about it, then a part of me will feel extinguished. I won't be fulfilling my God-given purpose. Well, if part of me is an artist or an athlete or a whatever it is and I'm not fulfilling that talent, then I'm turning off a part of myself. So you first have to know who you are. I'm a personality with self of skills and so on in order to fulfill your purpose. Then do something about right, benefit the world with those, those different layers of your personality. Then you have the O, which is the opportunities as we spoke about being open to what God is in store for you. Sometimes the opportunity is someone falling right next to me and I have to just help him more. Or sometimes the opportunity is like the Nicholas wanted story, right? I have to go to Czechoslovakia and help some kids who are abandoning the streets and we have to be open to the opportunities of life. It's almost like Victor Frank or the old man search for meaning that writes so beautifully that it's not about what I want for life, it's about what life wants for me as opportunity. Then you have places. I think the basis we go to have two reasons for which we go to them. One is the reason we know about and the reason. The other is the reason we did not call about. Sometimes you go to Hawaii and we're thinking like, well, then they're for vacation and that's legitimate, good for you. But sometimes we don't know why. Yes, for vacation, but we'll meet someone. It will change our lives or we won't change their lives. Sometimes it's just to maybe meditate and bring holiness to the world, to that part of the world that I'm in, the holiness that may have not been drawn down before. There's always a reason we do not know why we go to places and that reason has to be explored, has to be sold out, and has to be actualized. And the 4th is people. The people that we meet are also part of our purpose and not just there to make us feel good or to drink a beer with. They are there ready for us to learn from them, to learn for them to learn from us. They are there for us to maybe help them be the supporter of the ladder that they are climbing as we spoke about. But they are definitely there in order for us to actualize above us with. And I'll tell you a very quick anecdote and my wife is in the Richie, but she once sent me to fries. I don't know if you're familiar with the fries and Chey and tell you them they fried and I was looking for leg quarters because she had asked me. Now I go unless she had asked me to buy leg quarters. Check your leg quarters. Sorry. Yeah, whatever. Speaker 2 It is. Speaker 1 I myself did it and I'm there in the first section looking for this. Check my phone. I'm very crazy. Where is this? What is this? And like, really don't really have to go. Maybe I should have hits the car and who does? And then all of a sudden, someone taps my shoulders and I turn around and says to me, excuse me, are you a rapper? I said, what are you talking about? What makes you? And he had a good laugh, but he said, I'm asking because my father just passed away. And there's this traditional prayer that once says after the person passes away, it's called the Khadish. And I'm looking to say, Khadish, if you have an accommodation where you come and pray. I said, yes, please come tomorrow morning at 7:00 AM. And he came and he became a member and lead away. And I thought to myself, why? See, I thought I was going to buy chicken egg borders. Fine, I did. I didn't. I But I also went because there was a person who needed help. So God sent me to this place to meet that person for me to fulfill my purpose on that day, so that top theory can really draw this map that can lead us to finding a purpose every day. Speaker 2 So I just want who who's had that experience where you think you're going to do one thing, you show up and something that absolutely incredible happens, right? And then the things that I think you're hoping you're there, you're not so tunnel Datian, right? And I think that getting people to really see and be open to the miracles of life and what God has in store for it really becomes a muscle that you build and you can matter at it. And then you can start to live by this, right? At least say, of course, there's more things that drop in our lap all the time and we expect it to happen. But I think it's this idea of just knowing, like the lady in the airport, wherever you are, is exactly where you're supposed to be. So what? What are you there to do? How can you contribute to the field? So we're going to open it up to a couple of questions. Jeff Harold, I was. Speaker 3 Just going to say first, thank you for coming. I really appreciate that. And one of the questions I have for you is the thing I really appreciate on of course is it definitely has the meditation and all of this centering and everything. But I just know how much it helps the Ian overall, how close it gets him in his religion and Kyle and. Completely different religion, but they're both so focused and get together so long. And I think people that are in it that may not be in a in an organized religion, it makes them feel like, yeah, there's something else out there connects something to the the community or whatever. I'm just curious on your thought on that whole, the meditation part and everything and how you see that, your input on that. Speaker 1 Then great question. First, I think that religions are just means to the self. So everyone is the pathway, everyone is the religion. But as long as we reach ourselves, some people get stuck with religion. That's the danger. That's a means to the goal, not the goal in love itself. But I would say that I think meditation is a crucial part of reaching that self. Jews pray three times a day in prayer is meditation and it helps us connect to our deeper self. I'll share with you another quick anecdote if you don't mind, but really a cute one that we spoke about in machinism before when he was six years old, he was living in Russia and he was playing a game that no parent was allowed. Today it's 100 years ago, but a game with his friends on looking flying for the highest peak of a tree in the spot that they were playing it and he won his his mother was watching him the whole time. One time after he won, he said, wow, I'm surprised he won today. Probably be proud of the child climbing a tree like this. But she says to him, what was your secret? And he says, look, I'll tell you the truth. I was watching my friends when they were climbing, and I realized that the second they looked down and became afraid and they quit, I said to myself that when I'll climb the tree, I'll never look down. And that's why I won. And his mother told him that's a lesson in life, when you connect to the above, you can't fall below. And I think that's really what meditation does to me at least. I connect above to my above self to God within me and then no matter what happens during the day, can't fall below. Speaker 4 That's great. I have got a couple of questions and follow up with Jeff and talked about when you talked about purpose. One of the things I think about is the parable, the talents and how do we take our talents and multiply them. But one of the things I always as as a as entrepreneurs and business leaders, one of the things I struggle with is the 4th commandment. How do I take a Sabbath day, turn it off? And I'll be interested how you as a leader of a huge congregation are able just to turn it off for an entire day. Us as just lowly entrepreneurs, how do we turn that off for a day? Any advice on focusing on that? Speaker 1 I want to be a little biblical with you. So in the story of creation in Genesis, you find that God created Adam 2 wives. There's a story in Genesis chapter 1 and another story in Genesis chapter 2 and of the biblical but the big question is why? Why the story twice and the answer, the deeper answer is because there are two facets in every one of us. It's an Adam 1 and an Adam 2. The Adam one, as it says in Genesis one, I'm creating Adam one in order to go out to the world and to conquer it. That's the one that is used conquer the world. I'd like to thank to conquer it with goodness, right? The atom 2 is the one that receives a soul. That's the story in Genesis 2. But it's the atom, the facet of ourselves that is a soul that doesn't want to be art in the world, wants to be in here. There's the human doing and there's the human being. We have become experts in the human doing, right? We love to do and do. It's fascinating because you are someone today. Hey, excuse me, who are you? You know what they'll do? They'll give you their business start. That's the doctor. I'm like that who you are. Isn't that more to that? So if people are wiser and they'll say I'm kind, but kindness is the only way you you conduct yourself. Is that really who you are is much more. We are souls. We are infinite souls. That's who we are. But if we are always human doing, we can never get to that soul to really knowing who we are. And that's, I think it's so important to have us ever where we shut down everything and we engage with our family members, with our learning, with our meditation, with our Torah reading, right? With all sorts of tools and ways so that we can get to know the human being and have it lead the human to it throughout the week instead of the other way around. Speaker 4 Thank you. Any other questions?