Yellow Peril & Cave Butter

Hey, what's up, bad friends? I am on tour. I'm back out on the road. First up, I do San Francisco. Sadly, that's sold out. I think there's a wait list now. Braia. Saw the California Braia improv. Come out and see me. Braia. Then I'm going to be at the Tempe improv out there in my old stomping grounds of ASU. I'm going to be in Hammond, Indiana right before Thanksgiving. I'm going to be at Caesar's Windsor and Ontario, Canada. Then I'm going to Bethlehem, PA, Hanover, Maryland, Atlantic City at the Borgada that's getting close to being sold out. Valley Center, Harris, Casino, down in Valley Center, which is near San Diego, Canyonville, Oregon, over there during Valentine's Day. Then I'm going to be at the win Casino and Las Vegas in March of the new year. Get your tickets to Andrewsantino.com, Andrewsantino.com. I went for a hike today and I had to carry my dog up half of the hill. She's getting old. Oh, no. My heart break. It is so funny. She's getting the point now where she just lays down when she's over it. You know when dogs like sit and they just won't get up because you're like, come on, come on, come on. She just lay down in the dirt. I was like, please get up and go, please, can we go? And then she just looked up. I was like, I'll pick you. How old is? 36. Wow, that's good. That's really good. She's going to be nine, I think. So I made a decision. She's, she's an old dog. We have a dog named Remi. Eyes completely white. You're going to do it, aren't you? You're going to put her down. Okay. Spine crooked. Dude, bro, what? No, but when a dog's eyes significantly stressed or fear when they have completely blind, Remi is deaf, crooked spine, right? Won't leave his bed, right? So the vet said, you guys might want to start thinking about. Don't put him down. And I go, we're doing Christmas. We're doing Christmas. I go, we're doing Christmas. We'll put him down on January. Maybe in January. Put him down on Christmas. Yeah, but when I told Jules that information two days ago, we all just started crying. I know. I don't want to hear it. What? You don't want to hear the cry? I don't want to hear how you cry. And then, you know what? And then you start thinking about your other animals because I have seven of them. They're all going to go. Yeah. And it's just, it's just devastating. But we're all going to go. Yeah. I want to do that full body scan thing you were talking about. Yeah, I got to do it too. Yeah. Because we know a comic that had that done and they found a little something. They found a little something in our friend. Yeah. I want to do a full body scan. Carlos, you should do a full body scan. Yeah. I just got health insurance this summer. I'm excited. Is that the first time you've ever had it? No, not since I got dropped off my parents. They go up in years ago. Like, your parents disappointed in you. That's what it feels like. No, I couldn't look back at their lives and you and they go, oh, we're proud. Yeah. Because I'm not like, I'm not dead. Yeah, you didn't die. Yeah. I don't work like a, I'm proud of you. You are? Oh, yeah, the glory holes. You know what I mean? That stuff's cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Very cool. I kept on a time. You've almost died and survived. I kept this job. Yeah, that's true. Is this the longest job you've ever had? Yeah. 100,000%. If you thought about quitting ever. No, never. I love this job. You do. Yeah. I love it. You got like the fame. That's not why that's why that's projecting. That is projecting. I don't like the fame. Oh, you don't. I don't have get any fame. I do. But you know what I mean? Yeah. I don't I don't bask in it. Here's how much Bobby hates the fame. When I said, where'd you go see the movie that we're talking about? He goes the grove. The most look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Location. The grove of all places to go see a movie. That's like being like, I went to Universal Studios. It's up in two. I know. It's the busiest. You love that. Yeah. I go to the little quiet as far away. No, you go to the hipster one where all the hipsters say, what's up, man? With their fancy moustaches? I go to Burbank. No, you don't. I do. I don't. I shouldn't say that. You went to Echo Park or something. No, I go to Burbank. Where did I go to see this movie? Yeah. Lemmily on Sunset, eight thousand Sunset. Yeah. That's because I had dinner down there. And it's you do already do it. Can I just say something? And it's the only one that had it. Your lips tightened up, dude. You're starting a fight. It's because I'm my lips are sunburned. Oh, okay. I went to I usually go to Burbank because I like it. It's quiet. And there's four theaters up there. Have you noticed that they've cut down the Nicole Kidman video? Yeah, I'm tired of it. I'm tired of it. It's too long of a walk. Too much talking. Much. Right. The audience goes a little too haywire for me. But then Friday night, when I saw one battle after an ex, it was just one thing she said. And I was that that was perfect. That is good. The editing. You know the the scene where they're like, put away your cell phone down to that thing. Yeah. I went down to watch a movie in Inglewood. Yeah. They run a different pre roll down. What is it? Different. What is it? Like take out your cell phone. Turn that shit on. Text and FaceTime. The whole time the movie going. It was stuck as loud as you can. As loud as you can. The vital moment. Walk out to P4. Five more times. Yeah. Yeah. It was different. Start a ride. Start a ride. Start a ride. You know what else I'm tired of? Actually, wait. This reminds me the first time. I went to go see Belly in the movie theater. Remember Belly. Spring up Belly. He probably doesn't remember Belly. Look at how look at this movie. I went to go see this in a tough neighborhood. Yeah. And DM spoiler alert DMX gets killed pretty early on. And a do a black dude in front of a stands. And he goes, oh hell no. And they walked out. They want they want a DMX and the whole fucking move. That's what I do when Michelle Yow dies early. Oh hell no. Fuck. No. No. So I'm tired of God. Belly was such a good man. The Coca-Cola commercials. With the two people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. And then all of a sudden they're dancing. Yeah. Right. And then all of a sudden they're basically just in love on the middle of a New York street. And they hit the coax together. I hate that one. And it has nothing to do with it because they're black. Okay. Yeah. It has nothing to do with it. If they were, why would it annoy me too? I don't know. Maybe it wouldn't. No. No. I met this girl at the comedy store. It was Thursday. Okay. Pretty. Yeah. Yeah. And then she was like, then she's kind of made out with me in the hallway. Just started making out with you. Well, we talked a little bit and had to cigarette right about her drink. Like the Coca-Cola commercial. Just like commercial. And we raise cars. Yeah. It was crazy. It was pretty cool. Yeah. Yeah. One battle after another though. That's one of the best movies I've seen. That's movies I've ever seen. Also underrated as far as comedy goes. It won't be considered a comedy, but it absolutely is a comedy. It's an action movie, but it's a comedy for sure. Yeah. I find Leo because of once a amount of time in Hollywood too. I think he was very funny in that at times. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just think that it's because he plays it real as well. It's interesting. They're funny situations, but he's such a good actor. And when you play it real, that's when it's funny. That's when it's super funny. It's not like a, it's not like, you know, like a Will Ferrell character that he's supposed to be, he is just being funny. Yeah. This one, the situations are very honest, but yeah, the reaction is yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And Benesha was great in it. It's so good. The best. How old is Benesha Del Toro at this point? Let's take a guess. I thought maybe almost 60 by now. 60 got to be. 62 is my guess. Do you want a guess, Bob? Well, I remember when he first came, when he did usual suspects, I was at the Mondrian. I was a doorman. But how old was he then? 30. But he's seen my age. But he was like on fire, because it was him and Michael Rappaport were in that Mondrian. I see them like dancing with these hot chicks. And I remember just sitting there by myself with a die coke. Sipping going, oh my god, that's the new Hollywood. Oh, I want to ask you this. This is interesting. These newer theaters, these nicer movie theaters now. It's not just the old school snacks. Yeah. The upgrade is crazy. Crazy. Bro, they had, we had, what's it? Raising nets. That's old school. Let me guess, let me guess. No, no, this is just insane. They had those high-end like dark chocolate bars with mixed in like raspberry flakes and all that stuff. And I was like, I'm not getting at the fucking movie theater. And she was like, let's just get it just with their popcorn. I can't go back. The dark chocolate with like the raspberry, like the, you know, like the lint chocolate bars, you know, those they had those on display. They had 10 different flavors. I was like, come on, get three or four. How do you get the butter at the bottom of the bucket? Say it again. How do you get the butter at the bottom with the bucket? Well, you're going to think I'm a psychopath because I don't know. I scored a cup of butter. I get a side cup for a fountain and I put butter in it. Well, I eat the popcorn and I sip the butter. Like a shock, like a chaser, a chaser, a chaser, a butter chaser. The butter chaser. Wow. But how do you do? Do you do move? Sometimes I try to move it. Huh? Or you put the butter on top and you do a shake. Like, what do you do? How do you get the butter on the bottom? Do you want my secret? Yeah. So you get the bucket. You can't get the bag. The bag is an issue, right? You get the bucket. Yeah. And you go, hey, can you fill that up just below the line? I know it. Don't overflow it. And they fill it up just below the line and you go, can I get a second bucket? I'll pay for just an empty bucket. And I put the bucket on top of the bucket. Nice. take it like a salad, and then mix it all up. And I just throw-- - You really do that? - Yeah, throw away the second bucket. - That's ingenious. - It's that of the bucket, or the butter shot. I'll do a butter shot, too. I'll take a little cup-- - Yeah, okay. - Take a little butter back. - Yeah. - A little popcorn butter back. - Yeah, what kind of butter is it? It seems like oil. - It's oil butter. - It's oil butter. - Yeah. - Well, it's also been sitting in that vat for about 40 days. - Yeah. - There's no way they clean it. - It's not good for you. - You know that's how I got sick in college, right? - What? - The finals week of college, we went to go see a movie with our buddy Colorado John. And John was the only guy that didn't eat popcorn. He's like, "No, I don't want popcorn, man." And we shared a bucket of popcorn, and we got so fucking sick. - How do you get food poisoning from popcorn? - From the butter. - From the butter. - The butter spoiled. - Oh my God. - The doctor was like, "What did you eat?" I went down the list, I was like, "Dude, I had ramen," which literally doesn't go bad. Ramen lasts about nine million years in that packet. - Yeah. - I go ahead ramen for lunch. That's all I ate until we got to the theater. And then Colin had a totally different meal. We both were sick for two full days. I lost like nine pounds. It was insane. - Wow. - I look good for finals. I wasn't in my shirt off. (laughing) - B, C. - Yeah. - Dude, that's the sickest I've ever been food poisoning. And the doctor concluded, he was like, "Well, it had to have been, did you put butter?" I said, "Yeah, of course we had butter on the pot." He goes, "That's the brother, that's 100% what it was." - You know what I mean? - It's also a college campus movie theater. The fucking goons work in there are stone to the bone like us. They're not paying attention in cleaning shit. - Yeah. - Dirty, dirty, dirty. - So if you go to Major Domo, they used to, they used to have cave butter. And there's a cave somewhere in California where they get the butter. - What are you talking about? Butter comes from cows. - No, there's cave butter, dude. - So it just organically grows in the cave? - You know, there's like a bag in there. I don't know what it is, but like-- - Major Domo cave butter refers to cave age butter from crown finished cave served at David Chang's restaurant. - That's what I'm saying. - Right. - Right. So what I'm saying is-- - Crown fish. - And you can taste the difference. - Because it's from a cave. - Yeah, it's definitely cave butter, dude. - What is it? - It's just they store it in a cave. That's all it is. - I know, that's what I'm saying. I didn't say it's from the cave. There's not one cow in there going, maa. - How funny if there was just a cow in the cave. - He's exhausted, they're milking him all day long. - Yeah, yeah. - Leave me alone. - Yeah. But what I'm saying is you take fancy butter like that. - Right. - And then you put that in popcorn somehow. - Ah. - This is-- - Like level it out. - No, level out. Because the oil butter is fucking bad for you. - Of course. - And cave butter is so flavorful. Why don't we just take it to the next level? - Take it to the next level with the cave butter. - But how do you do it? Do you condense the cave butter into a liquid form? I don't know. - You have to charge more. - Of course you have to. - Well, it can't be that much more. How much is cave butter very expensive? - That's like $1,000 a bar. (laughing) - Fancy cave butter. - Yeah, yeah. Like elevate the popcorn. - We must. At this point it is. - Yeah. - Frank's gourmet popcorn butter flavored coconut oil. - Wow. - Yeah. - It's a substitute. Now these are all substitutes, my guy. - But still not elevated enough for me to. - Okay, but how about this? When you get a candy like an M&M's, you sprinkle that in the popcorn, yes? - No. - Insane, you don't do that. - Do you do that? - Everybody does that. You sprinkle them in there. Then you get to grab a couple of handfuls. Then you get some, you'll get one popcorn with some of the M&M's. Because the M&M's don't go all the way through. They stick halfway in some of the crevasses. - Okay, I know I got a good idea. You just, you make it so it's like a fucking yogurt chop. - Oh, yeah, yeah. - So it's just not just K butter, right? But you put the gram, the gram from. - A little bit of gram from. - From some toffee, some sort of toffee thing. - Maybe candy pecans. - Exactly. - If you're getting nuts, candy walnuts, you're getting fucked up. - But you put the butter in first so that all the other stuff sticks to it. - I like this. - What do you think? Maybe a blueberry? - You know it's a stretch butter. (laughing) - I like it. - One blueberry? - One blueberry. - In the bottom of it, I've tried to find it. And your partner goes, you got the blueberry? Yeah, there's only one in there, you know? - That's good for good luck. - That's for ya. - That's actually a good idea. - But elevate the popcorn. - What else can we elevate in there? - Yeah. - Well, they do, some of them, like at Lemley's, they have a full bar, which I think is insane. That you can just get like a cocktail with it, which I thought was kind of great. - That's nice. - No drinking, but still. Gareth's is good. I see that. You gotta elevate the popcorn, man. We gotta move on up. - Yeah, let's move on to popcorn. - We're running thin. And also the snacks, though, the snack game is very, what's William's Sonoma, what's this? Oh, pop. - $50 popcorn. - And Bobby's gonna love it. - Yeah, that's it. - What is that? William's and Sonoma makes Sonoma popcorn gift set. No, no. That's the bowl thing you're paying for the popcorn. - Oh, I see, yeah. - But it ain't good. - Yeah. - This guy was just gonna buy it. - Is there elevated corn? - Google is there elevated corn? (laughing) - I'm really getting into this. - We're trying to get to the next level of popcorn. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. It starts with the corn. - Kave corn. - Oh, there can be elevated significantly taller corn. No, that's not what we're talking about. - Is there fancy corn? - Is there untrace corn? - Yeah, organic fancy corn. - Is there, yes, there is fancy corn. - Yeah. - It's you conferred to corn and multiple. Indian corn. Oh, yeah, Indian corn. - We need Indian popcorn. - 'Cause they're different colors. - They're gonna be mad at us for appropriating that as well. Look at that. There's Indian corn. - Yeah, you use Indian corn, Kave butter. - Indian corn with Kave butter, right? - Imagine, I just sounded like John F. Kennedy. - Imagine. (laughing) - Imagine. - Imagine. - Indian popcorn with Kave butter. - With Kave butter and also all the fixings. - And sea salt. - And sea salt, dude, that's what I'm saying. Elevate the ship. - Kosher sea salt. - Yeah, I did. - I imagine. - Wow, I think we should be. - Imagine. - Imagine. - We can elevate the menu at a movie theater. I think we can. - I don't know, dude. - It's time, dude. - I will say those Coke machines they have now have every flavor of everything on Earth, and it's fucking amazing. - I refuse to do the flavors. - You're out of your fucking mind. - I refuse to. - Scary Coke is phenomenal. - If you get a diet fucking Coke and you put a sugary cherry thing, it defeats the purpose of the diet part of it. You're still getting sugar. - What do you mean, they do fake sugar? They do fake sugar. Yeah, they do fake sugar now. They do aspartane versions of all of it. - Oh really? So it's not real sugar. - No, it's fake. - Okay, well then I'll do lime. - You have them both. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, they have, look at all the options. - Those are my house. - Yeah, that's a great thing. - That's one of those things. I had a friend in high school who's a super rich kid and we go over to his house. In his basement, he had a Coke bottle machine. We could get Coke by the bottle. - Oh my god. - You hit it, but if it dispensed, we drink like nine coaks a day. - Oh my god. - My colleague Coke in movie where he gets $1 million. - Brewsters millions? - Put the McDonald's in your house. - Yeah, the McDonald's in your house. - Yeah. - I was hankering this morning, by the way, for a sausage egg McMuffin. I almost went to MacDee's for one. sausage egg McMuffin is the best thing in the fucking world. - I think so too. - It's so fucking good. - Amen, dude. - You slide that hash brown inside. - I don't do that. (laughing) - No, you know. - You don't put that hash brown inside the sausage egg McMuffin. - No, but I love the sausage. - It'll change your life. - It won't change my life. - I'm telling you. Why eat it separately? - Yeah. - Why eat it out of it? - So if I do that, the light, like it'll turn completely bright. - Imagine, right, and I'll have a spiritual awakening. What the fuck are you talking about? - You'll see in color for the first time. - Yeah, no, I don't think so, but I think it'll be good. - It's phenomenal. - Okay. - Here's what you do. You want a real little secret topper? They sell Taco Bell hot sauce now in the grocery store, which my fridge has five of them in there right now. Honestly, of all the hot sauce, they sell the fire. You can get hot, fire. Look, there they are. Taco Bell hot sauce sold in the store, in the bottle. We buy that shit. I put that on everything. - It's good? - That on breakfast. Do you not like Taco Bell hot sauce? It's so good. - I think it's so good. - I don't really think about it. - Oh, but rather, when you go to Taco Bell, you don't use it? You don't use Diablo or Fire, yeah, but I don't think, oh, this is amazing hot sauce. - Oh, no, no, no, it's not that it's amazing. It's the flavor is just good. - Well, the flavor's okay. - But I put that on my breakfast sandwiches. - You do? - And you know what? - Yeah. - I bet it is, yeah. - It's a kiss on the mouth. - Yeah, do you ever do the Taco? - This guy's selling 50 hot sauce packets. That's so funny. - That's funny. - I bet you people buy it. - Do you do the breakfast burrito at McDonald's too? Or no? - I've never done the breakfast burrito. - Yeah, I'm too scared. - It's a tube. - I don't have a tube of fear, I don't like it. - But this is the thing, McDonald's has been switching up their menu a little bit with introducing new items. They're risky and some of the new ones I'm not. Their chicken menus get too big. Slow down with all the chicken. - Amen. - Give me McDonald's new menu. - Yeah. - We went the other week and I thought, you guys need to slow down. Go back to the basics, dude. They got new shit on there that I'm just not, like chicken strips get the fuck outta here. It's nuggets or nothing, dude. It's nuggets or nothing. What's new on there? New addition, boo buckets. - Oh, boo buckets. - Wait, wait, tiny tan, happy meal. That's for the Philippines only, isn't it? Tiny tan. - Wow. - There's a meetup in Los Angeles. - For Tiny tan? - Yeah, for parents, I guess. - Can we go back to the movie, popcorn real quick? - Look at this, special edition, special edition gold sauce. - Yeah. - All right, what do you wanna do with the popcorn? - No, no, no, I'm just saying, so I went to see that movie with a date. We got a large popcorn, a small bottle of smart water. - Not needed, but go ahead. - Why? - We still money. - Okay, anyway, that's what we got in a Diet Coke, 30 bucks. - Oh, yeah, well, it's a fucking. - How much are we making off of that? - Can you imagine how much our fancy Indian corn cave butter is gonna be? (laughing) - 80 bucks a bucket. We're never gonna be able to source it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, wow. - We're gonna be ripping people off. - Yeah. - But the movie we can make cheaper, 'cause we won't, what we'll do is, we'll run a bunch of, you know, previews will be an hour and a half to pay for the Indian corn. - Okay, okay, yeah, yeah. - So you have an hour of previews. Movie theaters make almost no money with the movie. They make all the money with the. - Concession. - But they also make money using the previews, right? Don't they have to pay to have those previews put in front of those films? Is that not true? - Yeah, yes, yes. - But have you smuggled in stuff? I have, and they don't give a shit. - What do you mean, that was my whole life? - Yeah, yeah. - The only reason I do it now is because I'm just timing wise, I don't feel like bringing shit in. - Yeah. - But I would say the majority of people still sneak in food and You shouldn't sneak because it's a teenager ripping tickets. He doesn't give a fuck He think a 16-year-old's gonna be like share what's in your packets. Yeah, they don't do it. He doesn't fucking care Yeah, it's a it's a it's mostly coffee You sneak in coffee. Yeah, like an iced, you know, I mean venti something right what put it in your no I cup I do this This right right and I do one of these I hand the ticket like this. Yeah, they'll never see that when you walk around. No, can you see it now? Well, I'm just on this angle. No, I know he's been around in this side. He can hear the ice jingle jangling in that cup It's basing on the walk. Oh, I'm limp, dude You yeah, and I got here you go right smart and then when they're I always keep you always have to keep eye contact Got it, right? What if there's an employee behind you? Yeah, you got a cup it you sneak in coffee. Yeah, cuz in high school, you suppose cigarettes. I was good at cupping the cigarette Oh, yeah, you're just walking on the hallway, you're right. Oh, yeah, cup in this cup I know how to cup that I know there's smoke, but they thought I was Asian. I was doing some sort of you know me like street fighter thing All you can whatever you know, yeah, yeah, but yeah, that's smart. Yeah, I'm a very smart with my hands My friend Sarah and I used to sneak in 40s. You just bring in a big person college and sneak in 40s That's college days dude the good old days. Yeah, sneak in a 40 and then we get actually the fans down below comment The craziest thing you snuck into the movie theater cuz I'm actually curious to know who snuck in some wild. Yeah, like what do you think? The biggest thing you could put something down your pants if it's long. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, well I mean if you have like a fuck if it's like a big thing you just put it in your pant. They're neither they don't care Jackets by the way midwest we don't have that out here when winter comes you can sneak in a fucking entire kitchen into a movie theater. Have you repeated in the movie? Into what the bucket. No on the ground. You just pissed on the ground. What time it goes that way? What it just goes away from it was back in the early 80s Yeah, back when it was normal. Yeah, it was normal back in the 80s. Yeah, do you remember the movie evil dead evil dead? Yeah, yeah That was not the 80s. Yeah, it was like late 70s You didn't want to miss a minute. That was a kid. I remember and my friend my cousin Jennifer Because here's what we went to the movie there was Empire Strikes Back playing and evil dead and I was like can we do Empire Strikes Back and she was like Older said no, we're doing evil. You already saw Empire Strikes Back see a double feature dude. Yeah, so I was no We our parents will let two hours. Okay, so anyway we went in there right and just to make her mad I peed on the ground and I remember it ruined the movie for her. She fucking hated it. Anyway, I did that. Yeah You never done that. No, okay. Never peed in a theater Into the room dick first get in there dick first It's not just a tablet. It's a cheat code for your crotch stronger harder longer lasting like someone gave Your downstairs a pep talk and a gym membership that Bobby is finally getting blue chew has saved my sex life because When you get older, sometimes pop is not awake. That's right and you know me blue chew goes it's like it's own coffee almost Wake up and it's it does work last time I took blue chew My dick got sponsored by an energy drink company and refused to do missionary guys This isn't just about performances about legacy or third legacy. Hey, hey, hey give her a group chat something to talk about You know when you lay it down. 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Please play responsibly on behalf of Boudille Casino and resort and Kansas pass through of a wager Tax may apply in Illinois 21 plus Asian eligibility varies by jurisdiction void in Ontario bet must win to receive bonus bets Which expires seven days minimum odds required for additional terms responsible gaming resources cdkng.co/audio limit time offer Also, I saw signed it today yesterday that bugged me to no end They had a me okay It's one of these like progressive places, but they're trying way too hard It had a men's bathroom and a women's bathroom, right? So it literally said m men w women then below that on each door had an image of and you've seen this before It's like half man half a dress and then it says and then a disabled icon and it says whatever just wash your hands So I was like so what is it hmm you know that that's that's the symbol that one right there gender neutral is a gender New Jersey so it had that below the other sign that already said man or woman So it's like just say fucking bathroom. This is what say bathroom. That it's it's the guy that's doing the signs Just listen fuck the guy that made these signs. Yeah, no, it's not that sign. It's this okay That the original one is the men's one, right? And then somebody at the at the meeting where it said Hey, we need new signs. I don't think that's what they say Yeah, bro, you know, it's 2025 wrong. We need fucking new signs, right? Well Pedro I don't think we're trust you're aligned, but let me tell you something I bought the new signs on you know, yeah, Amazon right, but you know what I'm gonna keep the old sign on just in case Yeah, yeah, no because he's lazy. Oh, yeah, nothing because that I think because the characters max again See, I think yeah, I'm just saying he's like I'm just gonna put this sign underneath the old sign, right? Yeah, yeah You know, but you know those they'll get it. Don't get it. But then Santino comes along and goes I don't like that I don't you just say bathroom by the way, they should all just say bathroom then that's the deal if you're gonna Keep doing this game just say fucking bathroom and it should you know what the signs should say if you're a guy Lift the fucking seat up and piss and put it down when you're done That's what it the sign should actually say don't piss on the seat Don't be an asshole and then it's just a place to pee and poop But but you they should have ones this is big signage at it see the little white head on it Yeah, what if they have a race specific one. Oh, that's funny race neutral bathroom. No, just no Why don't we just go the reverse way? Oh, just white and black bathrooms no and different different ones. Oh, you like waterfounds like that too What else do you want to do you want schools to be only one color? No, because can I say something for Asians, right? We like Carlos's we like lower, you know Toilet you need lower sinks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and lower things here. I mean we like, you know, yeah We'll make the Asian only yeah, I get that. What would the what would the black one have in it? Well, it'd be taller. That's for sure on average. Yeah, go back to that picture. There'd be graffiti It's an art. Oh my god, dude. Did you see that video of that girl that fucking had a panic attack parasailing and then unclipped her shit? She died. Oh big time. Oh, oh fucking big time big time died look at her what the fuck that's not it Oh, there it is. There's the footage. So she's like she's freaking out She's freaking out and then she unclips the fucking harness. Why? Because she's having a panic attack You don't see anything gruesome here. You just she just disappears But look she gets out of it. She takes off the jacket. She must be having a severe look at how high she is This poor girl she gets out of the harness and is like no, I don't want to be here anymore and then Gone say Tom Cruise Yeah, well that turns out that mission was possible I mean mission complete that's insane. I don't know why she would do that. She must have had a crazy panic attack By the way, these things are all these things are fucking atrocious. How many times a year do you hear these accidents? They go down kids go down to Mexico and these things some fucking wild shit happens with parasailing. It's it's a terrible They're so dumb You see if she died she did die dude. It just said that in the article. Oh my god But did she know she was gonna die? I think if you're 200 feet up. You know, you're gonna die then why would she do that? I think she had a panic attack 60 accidents injuries and fatalities Over one death for a hundred thousand trips. Let me tell you something. There's one and one that's worth it That's not that's not no one in one hundred thousands worth that There's no exact number of parasailing deaths per year You know why they all happen in Mexico. Yeah, and they don't fucking report it if there was a roller coaster and they go one in every 100,000 people die on this would you not interested? That's why I do rollercoasters because it's not one in rollercoasters Probably like one in every fucking hundred million. Yeah, they never they never happened But it puts more fear into the roller coaster. That's what makes that funner right Carlos? Come on That's not what makes it more funner. I mean two to four. That's not enough to get my blood going That's not even fatalities half the time just accidents Health the fatalities from these accidents are often guest health issues right like heart attack people have heart attack or stroke Should drive fast on the freeway and turn your lights off for - Two seconds. - Yeah, exciting. - Okay. - Yeah, I do that sometimes. - 'Cause I've always. - Like these girls, they have all this dash footage of these girls texting and flipping their cars. That is some of the funniest shit, dude. - 'Cause I have a morbid fantasy of creating a water park, but it's everyone dies on each ride. Like I have a water. - Wait 'til word gets out about it. - I have a water slide where you go in a tube, but you get smaller and smaller. - Oh my God, that's like my nightmare. - And you get stuck, right? But the water's still flowing. - Oh, Bob. - Other people, you know me, hop, you're right. - Oh. - Yeah, yeah, so that's one of them. - Death trap water slide. - Yeah. - Welcome to. - Death trap park. - You don't have thoughts like that? - Absolutely not. - What's wrong with me? - I don't know. - Yeah. - Well, you know, Nate Parkotse is making a theme park. Maybe you can pitch this into a theme park. - Yeah. - At Nateland, you could die in the water park. Exactly, numbers aren't. There are specifically a few fatalities annual in the U.S. water parks. Drowning is a significant risk. By the way, no, this has got to be fucked up too. Every year a kid dies at those wave pools. Every year a kid dies at one of these wave pools. 'Cause they get stuck in the thing, they can't swim. Wave pools are sick though. - They're sick. - They're so fun. - Yeah. - You know what, you and I gotta go to at least one time. Look at that, look at that, the wave pool. - Would you go in that? - I don't think you would go in there. - No. - I've been to pools with you. If there's one person, sometimes you're like, I'm not going in there. - That's true. I don't wanna go in if there's one person in the pool. I want it to be quiet. - Yeah. - That, that's, that is a, this is genuinely, that's an anxiety attack. That's where you pull out the shoot. I can't do that. Also, rest in peace of that girl. I wasn't making fun of her. I was saying that's crazy. The poor girl had a panic attack and jumped. - Which SARS or is it not water? (laughing) That's where. - There's gotta be SARS in there. - That's where COVID really started at a wave pool. Oh man, I saw a funny meme online of the kid of, Ron Weasley, I don't know why I can't remember the actor's name. - Yeah. - Of yelling, it was like he was holding gasoline in the air. - Yeah. - What did he say? - Expense of petroleum. - Expense, yeah, what did he say? This is a great. (laughing) - Dude. - Dude, he's Ron Weasley 24/7 that guy, dude. - But that's killer. - Yeah. - That's so funny. - But that's almost like a wand he pulled up there, you know? - Yeah. - That's why he did it. - Yeah. - That's so fun. Expense of petroleum. - God, he's so good. - What a brilliant thing to do play into the bit, though. - Yeah. - So good, man. - So funny. - Oh, I got bad news for you too. Your boy Diddy just got 50 months. - I know. - Does he go to your meetings that Ron Weasley or no? - He hasn't been in years. - Yeah. - That's just showing up to your meetings lately. - Kathy Griffin's there. - She would even. - Yeah. - Kara top. Look at the picture that they put up of Diddy bending over on the stool. Did you see that? They're like, man, they did Diddy wrong. They drew him like bent over the stool crying. 50 months. Yeah, that one. Yeah, they're like, they did him wrong in the court drawing. - Isn't that a good time though? I mean, he was going to get way worse, right? - He should have gotten more. - He shouldn't have got like 40 years. I think four years he got off. - Is he say 50 months is that the truth? Is that what it was? Four months? - They cut that in half. He'll get out earlier. - Yes, time served. - Time served and all that stuff. - Yeah, I'll probably get out and fucking two and a half years. - And then would you go to the next Diddy party when he gets out? - Oh yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah, how good it's going to be. - How do you get invited to those? I've never been to one. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I don't know. - Yeah, you know, let me, who would get invited first? You or me? - Oh, brother. - You. - Carlos. - Carlos first. - But you and I don't get invited to any parties. - I wonder what I would wear. - To a Diddy party? - Yeah. - Get a suit. - You want easy access to your tush. Maybe one of those assless chaps. - Yeah. - You know, with a little flap. - I would be nervous. I would throw a party when he gets out. You do know that. - That's me sick. - That's me sick. - Carlos. It's going to be sick. Sick. It's going to be fun. - Would you rather go to a Diddy party or a Cosby party? - Oh. - No, Diddy, because I want to remember it. (laughing) Cosby party, no, no recollection of the party. - Yeah, I'd just walk up in my car to the next day. - I didn't like it when he made those kids walk to fucking Brooklyn for cheesecake. That's like the first time I actually hated him. You don't even know the reference I'm making. - No, I don't. - Diddy did a show called, was it making the band? Or whatever the what was the name of his show? - Making the band. - Making the band. And he would make them go on these missions, right? And they had to go do shit for him. And he had to make, one time he made them walk, I want to say it was across Brooklyn Bridge for cheesecake, making, that's not a proof of that you're loyal. - Is it a good cheesecake though? - It was phenomenal cheesecake. Yeah, I did. - Yeah, that's a walk kind of cheesecake at his, no? - There's no cheesecake that good. Now, if it was tiramisu, we have a totally different conversation. - Yeah. - But tiramisu is undoubtedly the best. - Are they being televised? - Yeah, it was on MTV. - Well, then yeah, do it. - I don't do it. - I knew you would agree with that. - I know, see, TV guy. - I knew you'd agree with this method of-- - No, it's basically like this. It's like when Leo was on the Revenant, right? He was out there on the cold. - Yeah. - That's so different than this. - It's not, it's not, it's not. - Leo-- - You do the job! - Leo was in character. - Yeah, and these kids are on the character. - They're not in character. - I'm playing the fucking cheesecake eye. - You're the cheesecake eye. - Oh, okay. - You are the cheesecake eye, dude. - No, you are. - What do you mean by that? - What do you want on it? - Yeah, I don't like cheesecake. - Well, then fucking it. - Why would I be the cheesecake eye? - Well, exactly. - But I'm saying though, if the cameras are rolling and they're playing a role, your reality shows to go, guy. - If the cameras are rolling. - You know what I mean? It's like, get the cheesecake. - Haven't you done this with someone where you made them get your breakfast burritos at like five in the morning? - Yeah, but I pay them good. - Okay. - Yeah. - Who got your breakfast burrito? - Like Alex and stuff. I'll call Alex and go because there's some breakfast burritos that don't deliver. (laughing) - So you say go get it for me. - Yeah. - And they get it. - Yeah. - Crazy. - At Lucky Boys. - At Lucky Boys, in Pasadena. - Oh, you've been there? Lucky Boys Pasadena has the best breakfast burritos in LA. - Look it up, I want to see. - And they don't deliver. So sometimes I'll call somebody and go, yo, I'll give you $100, go down to Pasadena. Give me Lucky Boys fucking breakfast burrito. - Do you get cheese fries with it? - Yeah, get the whole thing. That looks good. - The best thing about, see, that's the key. You have the breakfast burrito, right? To the right. It's the perfect amount of everything. Dispersed equal. - Eggs, cheese, bacon, sausage, - Yeah. - Ash browns, and that's it. - Yes. - And look it to the left. The best ranch sauce with the best hot sauce. - And you duck them together. - Yeah, I know you don't get the cheese. Chili cheese fries, that's-- - No, I don't get that. I can only eat one Lucky Boy fucking. - One Lucky Boy burrito. - Burrito, yeah, yeah. - And that's 900 calories. - My second favorite. - That's a big burrito. - Yeah. Is the corner cottage. - What the fuck is that? - In Burbank. They deliver. Get the corner cottage breakfast burrito. That's my second favorite. My third favorite is cofax. - Cofax is good. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - They've been good for years. And if you don't have an opinion about breakfast burrito, don't be my friend, all right? Do you have an opinion about it? - I tell you who's got a pretty good-ass fucking breakfast burrito. There's right here up at Sportsman's Lodge, it's called-- - Everyone has a good one. - No, no, fuck that, what's the spot? That's civil coffee. They have a good fucking breakfast burrito. I like that, you know why? I like that they have chunky potatoes. I like those big cute potatoes. - I don't know, man. - Ooh, look at that thing, give me that. - Yeah. - Oh, look at the big chunky, I like big chunky fucking potatoes. - Big chunks. - Give me chunky potatoes. - Yes. - Look at that thing. - Stop making that fucking noise, dude. - And look at it, but zoom in and look at the fry oil 'cause you can still see through the burrito. - Yeah. (barking) - Mm, mm, mm. - By the way, as soon as I eat that. - A lucky boy fucking burrito. (barking) - Soon as I eat that, my stomach. - Lucky boys. - Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. - Me, lucky boy, me and woodlucky boy. (barking) - Okay. That's me and woodlucky boy. - I'll kiss the burrito. - I'll fuck the burrito. - Oh, okay, yeah, yeah. You want me to fuck a burrito? - I don't. - Okay. - That's your name. - All right, my bad, YouTube, but I get it. - I get it. - All right, yeah. - We get it. - If there are places in LA where you can get the best of something, you know what I mean? - That's why the city is still at-- - It's the greatest. - Why it's still holding up. - Yeah, yeah. - What should we be for Halloween this year? - The girl from Silent Hill F. - Oh, is that-- - That looks like you. - Yeah. - I've been playing that game. - No, I haven't started yet. - I have, I've been playing it. - The fuss. - I'm gonna give up. - I've died 15 times already. - I can say it looks really hard, I don't want to deal with that right now. - I'll tell you, gonna tell you what it's hard. - Hmm. - There's only two modes. Story and hard. - So stories like too easy? - No, stories too hard. I don't even know what hard's like. - Fuck that then. - All right. In the beginning of the game, you're stuck in this small little Japanese town. - Yeah. - Okay. In all of some of these creatures that come out with a knife, it's fucking scary as fuck. - What's the name of the game? - Silent Hill F. - And. - I'm ready for some fucking Halloween shit. Are we gonna go to a haunted house? - Oh yeah, let's do it. You see that creature? Yeah, they're like-- - Is that Ali Wong? (laughs) - Yeah, Ali Wong's that. You play Ali Wong and you're the first 20 minutes again. You're just dodging, like running from them. And you can hear them chase you. It's so petrifying scary. And there's no, it's all melee weapons. So eventually you pick up a pole. - Like that. - Yeah, or something like that or like a pipe. And you're fighting these creatures with a pipe. It's so hard. - It's too hard. - It's so fucking hard. But it is beautiful. And it's pretty scary. - Bad friends Halloween. What are we gonna be for Halloween? - Yeah, I was just writing on my notes. - Okay. - Bad bunny. Oh yeah, people are mad at Bad Bunny for doing the Super Bowl. Is that what it is? - He was so good on SNL. - Yeah dude, he's the man. I don't know what it is. - He's the man. Go ahead. You're a spaniard. What's the issue with bad money playing the Super Bowl? I think people don't like that. He's big Spanish only Spanish. What percentage of America speaks Spanish? He speaks English. Yeah, like me. You're right bad English. Doesn't matter 15% of the 14% of about 45 million people speak Spanish. There's a lot of people who get it. Me encanto by a lot. I Think I think that funny is the fucking Elon Musk. Yeah, you know, Biblioteca. Yeah, yeah, we should do a bad French Spanish edition and try to speak only in Spanish. Good luck Well, how do you say bad friends in Spanish? Malos mano. Malos amigos. Malos amigos. Hey, welcome to Malos amigos. Dude, that was one thing that Leo did right in that movie was He got his he got the Spanish right when you when he was like vibing with those dudes you could tell he they loved him Shire can do that too with the Mexicans. He vibes with them. Oh, yeah, dude look at yeah Because Shia, but Shia's from from where in LA. He's from Echo Park. Right. He can do it. And Leo. Yeah. Didn't Leo grow up a little bit nicer. Los Fuas area. A little bit nicer. Yeah, I Wish that we grew up like in LA not me. Why I like being from Chicago. It would have been easier. I think though for the business Yeah, I don't think so. But you watch a Charlie Sheen, right documentary in Malibu when John Pan and all those guys Neighborhood kids were making films. It started then. I know, but that's a dream. That's a fantasy moment in time And the same way that like what are the chances that like the Will Ferrell class of us and now it's like These are fantasy moments in time. These are what to be in a fantasy moment. I didn't have a fantasy moment. We're living in it right now Oh, no, yeah, that we made bad friends together This is this is our this is our little fantasy moment Yeah, but you know, it'd be cool that you're in an avocado field with young cano wreaths You know, what are you doing out there? What throwing that avocados with each other You know, yeah, you're like cut it out dude. Cut it out bro. Yeah, and uh, well, it's fucking great. That was what a great throw, Bobby You know, I think you cano. I talk like that too I wouldn't probably talk like that too, dude Because Keanu Reeves would influence me. Yeah, it's like bro dude fucking fantastic. You got an angiometry. Now you just sound like your brother I know that sounds like Stevie. Yeah, I think it influences you, right? So it's like, you know You grew up with Denero, right? Right. Denero Hey, you know, if you want me to help you tutor in that Because I think I'll help you. I think you would have been a good fellas. It's what you think? That's really good Yeah, I don't want to grow up and you don't you have to grow up in San Diego. I'm two-time Nikki Bob Two-time Nikki Bob. Yeah Two-time Nikki Bob. I said Nikki Bob twice Every time Nikki Bob Nikki Bob. That's when they call me two-time Okay, what do you mean? No, I like it Nikki Bob. Yeah, Nikki Bob Nikki Bob Nikki Bob That's two times Nikki Bob's you always say everything twice. Yeah, it's everything twice. Yeah, what's your name? Say it again. What's your name? What's your name? I'm slippery sandteens. Yeah, do the slides do the slide Cops never caught me slippery sandteens. Yeah, as I sneak through as he sneaks through as he sneaks through It's actually pretty good. It's pretty good. That's pretty good pretty good You would have grown up in LA. Okay, you would have grown up in career town. Here's your life. Yeah. Yeah. You're working You're fucking busing at at At Seoul Park. Yeah, you're busing tables You're you're still gonna take your same route. You're gonna get mad TV like nothing's gonna change Oh, you think that no matter where I was you were gonna be I was gonna always gonna end up here Or you're gonna be on a roof during the riots. Yeah. I'm a rooftop Korean for sure for a hundred percent. Yeah, yeah And I'm at that college in your drive-through like what is going on? Yeah, yeah, yeah You would have been Bobby Lee no matter where you were placed in the world. You were born to be Bobby Lee. Yeah You were gonna be you and that's what we love about you I said those fantasy fantasies aren't real. They're bullshit. You're living a fantasy. You live a dream We get to talk to our fans and you stand up and it like this is the best dream as the best dream we've ever lived Yeah, I don't ever want to wake up. It'd be great like you're an echo park like Shia is like, let's go duck hunting We're like well friends with you. You think you would have been his click. I think Shia would have liked me because he liked me Okay, he likes you now all right chances of becoming famous are extremely slim Said is less than 0.01 percent of the global population and he's still not happy. He's still not happy The like I'm so happy and so grateful. You just wish you were from LA No, but when you when you watch that movie Charlie Sheen's is just like it's what an exciting life Yeah, I mean he lived under the guise of famous parents, so it it like ushered him into the world Naturally, yeah, right like I told you that documentary. I love better bastards of baseball It's great that her best is a paper better bad bastard a paper. There it is. There's Nikki two times Rocket money rocket money is a personal finance app that helps finding cancer. You're unwanted subscriptions Monitor your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings That's right. Look, we all have way too many subscriptions. This is an old point that we've made so many times on this show Bobby saved so much money by doing this and by the way rocket money's 5 million members have saved a total of 500 million in cancer subscriptions With members saving up to $740 a year when they use all the app's premium features Get alerts of your bills increase in price if there's unusual activity in your accounts If you're close to going over budget rocket money will even try to negotiate to lowers your bills for you This app automatically scans your bills to find opportunities to save and then goes to work to get you better deals They're even talk to customer service. You don't want to talk to them. They're gonna do it for you You do not have to Bobby had the dashboard it laid out his total financial picture So they include the bill due dates and pay days and it's easier to digest that way the way they lay it out Some of us are visual learners like Bob and I you can automatically create custom budgets based on your past spending So they're trying to help you save your money stop wasting it cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with rocket money Go to rocket money dot com slash bad friends today You heard it. That's rocket money dot com slash bad friends rocket money dot com slash bad friends shopify Hey, if you're running a small business, you know there's nothing small about it There's a lot going on and as business owners We provide and merch for you guys and the Shopify point of sale system is unified command center for your retail businesses It brings together in store and online operations across up to a thousand locations Imagine being able to guarantee that shopping is always convenient Endless aisle ship to customer buy online pickup in store all made simpler So customers can shop how they want and staff have the tools to close the sale every time And let's face it acquiring new customers is expensive with Shopify POS You can keep shoppers coming back with personalized experiences and first party data They give marketing teams a competitive edge in fact. It's proven based on a report from EY business on Shopify POS See real results like 22% better total cost of ownership and benefits equivalent to an 8.9% uplift in sales on average relative to the market set Surveived and we you Shopify and you must if you're running a business Bob tell him how to get it We love Shopify and we've been using it since our inception and we love it Get all the big stuff for your small businesses right with Shopify sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify dot com slash bad friends Go to Shopify dot com slash bad friends that's Shopify dot com slash bad friends Oh, that I could be that for Halloween. Yes. Yeah, that's great Shave my beard like that a little little Fu Manchu. Yeah, where do the name Fu Manchu come from I don't know man Asia. It's a real guy is Fu Manchu a real guy. It's a guy. Yeah Come on. You don't know that to be a fact. We're just guessing The new Fu Manchu is a bit of a British author Arthur Wilde writing as sex romer 1913 his series of novels about a sinister Chinese villain Bobby Lee becoming the embodiment of the yellow peril Bobby Lee The specific name likely comes from the generic Chinese surname Fu historical ethnic group Manchu Creating an exotic and threat and threatening identity for the character. So is Fu Manchu gonna be X out of our vernacular now because it's UnPC It's funny because people still call it Fu Manchu Like is that called a Fu Manchu? What up? Yeah, right? This guy's probably just aren't people who would change how they talk The character name originally from Arthur Ward. I like yellow peril yellow peril is a great name for your special. Yeah, yellow peril. Yeah, that's good When are you ready to tape? Are you getting close? No, come on. I'm not you're not at all close, but when when um Would Hula goes it? This is the amount of time we expect. I'm like, okay, you got it. So now we're right. No What do they expect out of you 40 minutes? You're doing just 40. I'm gonna do more, but I mean that's I mean That's the I have 40 so then I'm like, okay, you want to do the least possible. Yeah, I'm doing least possible. Yeah, yeah And then the next one is gonna be great because I'll clean slate. I'm gonna walk on say I just can figure it out I genuinely think you'll never do another one. I think one is good. No, I'm gonna do another one. I have to Why? Because there's no more personal things I want to talk about about how I really feel that I I don't do and I want to go and waste marking because it's all like A pipe dream because you were trying to show off for Louis like oh after this special I promise I'll really get into the depths of comedy and you know, okay You know my whole life has been this I believe in you know This is what I'm being real my whole life has been you can't do it My whole life has been this don't say me. I mean you can't do it. It's not gonna happen this and then and I always do it And I always prevail and I can't wait and then when that happens I would love that I can look at you and go What's up? I would love that and then you're gonna be like I never set that right and then we're gonna have another conflict All right, you'll see moment. It's actually just you'll see is my all the whole reason why I'm even Worm at it's a good thing to bring up you'll see because that was the my favorite phrase when we were in Australia Bobby's three First thing I was most I'm gonna be jacked I'm gonna get so jacked and I go and you'll see and I go No, you won't you go you'll see yeah, we're past a year you lost it doesn't matter the sea hasn't happened Okay, yeah, yeah, I'm excited for the sea happens you'll do it when the tides change all right So I I went to that fucking Jim next to my house planet fitness I sort of got I walked in there and I and I go Can I join and they're like what we need your bank account? Why I don't know why I go I just have a credit card and say that we don't do it that way we need your bank account No, no, no, no, that's what they said. I've never heard of that before in my life That's it. I've never heard that before in my life - bank account, right? So what go do you quit? So then what I know that there's too many hot people there What's wrong with that? Yeah, I don't want to be sloppy in front of those people You know what I mean? Just get a personal trainer then yeah, so then I brought my friend Alex over there You know my friend Alex up for me a tiger yeah, yeah, and I didn't know how any of the machines worked either Right so once we go we already went once he's getting teach me how the those machines you don't even know how to get in them It's like a pull away, and you don't know how to put the stick in and I don't know what it works It's like that Japanese game show where they got to go through those Thing that's what it's like yeah, yeah, and then every machine works on one thing like I don't want this muscle to be fucking this is a good muscle Look at this. Yeah, I know you don't want that. Yeah, but I know what you don't want that Yeah, yeah, or like you know my my elbows like gigantic, and I'm like I did this machine too long All you really need to do is like push ups, sit ups, and then you know some squatty stuff No, but I want to learn how to do this one the butterfly one what the fuck is that there's one with the sticks above and you do this Wait, what will you do flies? Yeah, and then you do this one like flies like that, right? Yeah, I want to be able to do it But even this machine is different the bench press. Yeah, just get on a free just get to go to plant famous fitness. It's evolved No, they've changed. Yeah, I don't know what the machines do look at the machines that are fucking so complex sound like I'm a The Kimmy Schmidt who has like been buried for like 50 years. Yeah Is he on all the machines see that machine right there? I didn't sit on that. No, I went reverse my knees were on that thing Right I was staring backwards. It would be funny to see a bobby Lee workout video trying the machines for the first time. Yeah Like I don't know how to get into that. She's in it right now just like that. Well now I know after saying her squat and press. Yeah So you're not gonna be going to plant a bit. Why don't you have someone come to your house to train you from your house? I don't have weights. You don't need much. You can do bands. You can do exercise with so little today Yeah, maybe tomorrow night. So I just decided I just literally decided because I have I have my pod tomorrow at four Mm-hmm, and then Alex will be there afterwards. I'm gonna give him a little money go right to them and I'm gonna go Right to plant a thing that fitness and we're gonna finish the training. I thought you couldn't get in without your bank No, you can do a day pass. Oh, yeah, that's what I'm gonna do. Yeah, I'm gonna get two big day passes I'm gonna figure out how all the machines work. I'll leave a video at it. Okay, not being real. I want to do it I want you to do because I'm just I think my thinness isn't good. What do you mean? I still look fat. What's the tone? You don't look fat No, if you take my shirt off, it's not good What do you mean? It's just it's just lumpy. It's undressed like I'm so no offense We don't know what he looks like without a shirt. I do. I do. No offense dude. I've done taken No take it. It's so much offense. He's taking. I know what I'm saying is that it's could I be honest with you? No, I'm a pork - Yeah, you're more like a flan. Yeah, yeah. I'm flan. He's a flan. Yeah, you're like a flan. Yeah, which dessert name it if we're all desserts He's flan. What's what's Carlos? What is it? It's like a churro. No, he's like a baguette. Oh, yeah. Yeah, a baguette. Yeah, yeah, you nobody wants it Nobody wants it. Yeah, I'm flaky and yeah, you have a great body. It's fine. Yeah, it's up and down Yeah, but it's pretty good. You can see the muscles. It can be if I were there supposed to be if I work out with me and Andreas No, we don't know what muscles what that's what I'm saying Yeah, yeah, he's a father now. He has less time to work out. Yeah, dad's have way less time He's busy. He's either editing taking care of his kid or editing dad bod Dad bod like and and dude his his dude the chicks especially in our age range. They love dad Bods They do yes, they'd fucking do you ask any girl of of an age that's our range, right? I'm sure girls in there like 20s don't like dad bods. They want young but like 30s and up those girls love dad Bods. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. Oh, I can't wait. I'm inspired today. You are. Oh, yeah, I'm doing it because you're right I did say that by now. I would oh, yeah, and I didn't yeah, I did lose the weight Yeah, five weeks. No, I don't well. I'm gonna start tomorrow. What can I in five weeks? Do you think if I start tomorrow in five weeks Do you think you'll be able to see the difference if you have to if you go every every like other day? Yeah, you would you have to go like literally three four days a week. Yeah, yeah You're gonna do it. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna do it. God. I think it's a great day. I love this Yeah, yeah, and then who are you doing it for though? That's the real question. What who are you doing at four? It's fine. No, I'm doing it because when I because women find you attractive Yeah, I get giggles when I walk into the Wee spa steam room from who little Asians? No, from all the everybody They give it because they know who you want. I don't know if that's okay. That's in my mind I think it's it, but it could be my poor Guy Andrea's like body You know he's gonna go home and be like I'm gonna quit the show Yeah, you are you a member of the gym. No, yeah Your wife is though. Yes, she's in your wife's in phenomenal shape. Mm-hmm. She works. She works full-time is a full-time mom and still has time to go work out Damn, dude. Yeah, did you get her? He's funny. Yeah, you're funny. Sorry. You know what? I love you. You're right. I see your skills up. No, take him. Yeah Hopefully not None taken he has to none taken then he's building all this up to like shut us down. Are you offended right now? No, I love you Yeah, you know that. Mm-hmm deeply. Mm-hmm. Okay Fans fancy does not yeah does not buy it's emotional abuse. Yeah, yeah, is it emotional abuse? Yeah, I think if you were doing this to like your partner They could like record it and get like show all their friends. They'd be mad. Right like that like that Mel Gibson you should just shut up and blow me I'm sure he's gonna have this lump in the courtroom Pork pork pork You apologize to mm-hmm. I'll use a different reference next time. Okay. Yeah, I Think it's just because he loves you. Yeah, we all are mean to each other because we love each other. Thank you That's the only reason we do it. That's the only reason have you ever hooked up in the movie theater? No, have you oh, yeah With the movies empty, right? No people were there if there was a bad movie, right? No, I got I got a hand I got a hand tug over Over a coat underneath a coat like Remlund's five You couldn't fucking it fucking would be impossible. I don't think so, dude. Where are you fucking unless no one's in there like in Germany There's like on porn hub videos of like Germans fucking that's a that's a casted porno. It's not hidden camera No, it's like a real movie playing in the background. Yeah, but Germans are fucking lunatics. They're lunatics Yeah, when you fuck me to Seattle they created two girls one cop, bud. Oh, yeah, yeah What are they gonna add another cop? Yeah, they can't just share that one forever Yeah, no, I got a I got a handy tug in a movie theater. I thought that was kind of tight. Was there a one girl one cop I mean why'd you go to the second movie first elevated dude jump right to two do part one Anyway, you know that reminds me of every time every time somebody brings up two girls on a cup I always think about cake farts. Do you remember cake? Oh, okay, parts were great. It's so good That was when the internet was really finding itself. Yeah, now. It's just evil and fucking dark and sad and nasty And you know, you want to see a guy get killed live on Twitter? Well, look, we're gonna create our movie theater of Indian corn and cave butter native corn and native corn So please come to our new movie theater and yeah, it's called they're gonna be called fancy corn what What's the name of our theater chain? We're gonna make a chain of theaters. Oh, yeah, you're good at naming things. Yeah, you've always been good It's gotta go. There's gotta be a law law. There's gotta be like make a French Yeah, I mean La Crochet La Crochet peripheral. Yeah, that's what it's called the preferred crochet. Yeah, the preferred crochet Yeah, that's it. La Prefecture. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so please come see the La Prefecture. Yeah, we'll have fancy native butter not Indian I'm sorry. I said yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll have cave butter cave butter love the fixings right no smart water You don't like that. It's bullshit. Yeah, it's bullshit. Okay, and we'll have filtered water No charge no charge and you can pee at your seat. There's a little Thank you for being a bad friend Fire and ice. What's up What is it? It's a move called fire and ice gone you get like Mentos or like like some sort of like mouthwash You make it super like crisp and stuff and you go down on them like a got like a girl does it to a guy And then what does this call her daddy now? What show yeah? Yeah, what was the fire part? The ice it's like it's like also it's ice and ice It's nice. Yeah, the name is more just where's the fire compound? Yeah, where's the fire? Super minty the mental the mental and mint. Yeah, that makes it's hot. Yeah, I got that wrong But the ice is like just super intense and you go back and forth between the two one time in high school This girl I was okay. Go ahead. No, I mean just it doesn't make any head him. Go ahead. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I could be remembering the escort Yeah, I think it's just called ice It sounds like ice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The door fucking flips open right there's guys with guns Is that what it is show me your paper? Yeah You're just going down on ice agents ice and ice. Yeah. No, I promise you have your - Have you ever heard of Blumpkin? - Oh wait, what's that again? - That's where you get ahead when you're taking a poop. - That's right. - Yeah, that's not a good one. - That's not a good one. - It's not a good one at all. - Yeah. - I mean, what do you mean, what do you mean? - Nah, be fun. - I've never had that before. - Yeah, yeah. - Kind of fun. - Yeah. - I've never had one. - A Blumpkin? - No, not even close. (upbeat music) (upbeat music)