Yearning for Things You Can't Imagine with Caleb Hearon | 84

- Do you know what I've been listening to nonstop? - Girls by Kid LaRoy. - Kid LaRoy is such a funny side character to me on the internet 'cause I'm like, I can't name more than one song at any given time. And yet, he sticks around. - Was he Justin Bieber's like Prodigy? - Prodigy? - A little bit, yeah. - Okay, that's kind of how I remembered him. I never streamed, but I have been listening to Girls on repeat ever since I saw that video of my guy dancing, hitting-- I love when a man dances like a slut. - I, the lifting of the shirt, he was really in his hips in a way that I was like, where was this on off campus? - Where was this? - I was like, it was in hiding. 'Cause instead of non-campus girl, they were doing anything except for actually taking us there, actually getting there. The reveal that that guy is hot and has swag in real life. - I do also love that Kid LaRoy posted the worst POV of that video. The best was like the grainy footage from down here. - Yeah, I love that. - You see the spotlight? That was giving everything to me. I was like, oh my gosh, I have a crush on this boy right now. Everything else about it, I'm off campus, not doing it for me. - No, off campus is hard, but then it made me be like, well, maybe there's a case. 'Cause I think it's actually really radical and powerful to like, maybe on purpose, he played unsexy on the show. So that, he could be like, big or real unsexy in person. - I kind of love that. - I do too. - I love a bait and sweat. - Me too. We kind of did that like growing up. Like we were like, oh ugly faces, guess what? Hot now, but yeah, dad's face until you're 15 and like, you know what? A few years of braces and then guess what? That's called being a late bloomer. - That show in general though. I felt like a lot of young minds that I trusted led me to this show and I was thinking it was gonna be maybe like a summer I turned pretty. Maybe something that I love youth. I love the youth. I love to yarn and I love youth and I thought that's what I was gonna get. - I didn't care about the hockey. - Yeah. - Well, I mean, never that. But I just, I thought that I would have more fun and I literally was watching like, crossing my arms, like pissed. - I just, I think the biggest flaw of the show to me is that it took, everything just took forever. It took forever for what's his name? Garrett and Hannah to get together. Once I got together, it took them forever to like, get through a fight and then once they got through a fight, it took them forever for, I mean, to like, have any, to get over the abuse of dad's boiler alert. And that was such, you know, touching storyline, but it did just not seem, the pacing was so slow. Which is why I think I did sort of, perfect, I'm looking up names on here. Ali and Dean. - Ali and Dean. - Because that was like, quick, quick, quick. I'm like, first, they're flirting. Then she's like, - A first aid dancer. - And then he's like playing a song to get her attention. I'm like, oh, that, I'm locked in on. - I liked her two things about her. I liked her little dancing. 'Cause that's what it feels like. When a Baron comes on in the dance floor, and nobody else is out there, and she's gonna take her one two step and hit it in the middle when she was dressed as J-Lo. I was like, that would summon a man, that kind of spirit. But I wasn't really buying the chemistry between Hannah and Garrett. I wanted to, but I don't really feel like they had that much chemistry. And also, I just was like, this is not hot to me. The sex that they were having. At least like the masturbating scene. - Well, it's just crazy that they are doing that. And they're a toes curl at the exact same moment in the exact same way. That was the weird part. I'm like, wait, we get it. But can we not just differentiate? They're having two different sexual experiences that are both important and both separately monumental. And yet, they're expressing the exact same way. That was a bit, like, hard. And the toes curl'd in such a way that it was very like, he, he, he. His toes went up. There was an arch. - Don't he, he around me. - I know why. - She's trigger, she's trigger. We can't talk about Michael Jackson in this house anymore. - Right. - But yeah, unfortunately, like, I was a big hard pass on off campus. Again, Loki until I saw that video. And I was like, maybe, maybe he has something to say. - I started to see it when, when we gave up in that ridiculous love triangle between Garrett, Wellesie, and John, his friend. - Oh, yeah. - Because that, I'm like, where did that even go? - Honestly. - It went nowhere. It's like everyone just forgot about it. And Jules, the non-binary sibling, now so here for representation. - I'm not. - However, Jules was annoying. I never really understood what their role was. And they were so mean to the brother, John. - Yes, I was like, you hate him. Oh my God. And your, aren't you? Wait, mom is in rehab. - Rehab. - It's already hard enough. You're making your harder. Also, no offense. Good life. I, we gotta start Hollywood, big, big Hollywood. - Mm-hmm. - I'm available first. Second, I struggle with the way that we depict non-binary people. Like, the hottest people you know are non-binary just by the way. - Yeah. - I can confirm that a few times. But like, the non-binary characters are one, always in like a silly little hat. - Yeah. - Or like, always just kind of have like, weird, loser behavior, or they're kind of just mean. - Yeah. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? I genuinely thought Jules was mean, presented as very mean. And I would much rather have Jules, like actually, the scenes that I appreciated the most with them were when they were integrated into the friend group. Where they're like, okay, they have like a little gossip like they really like hockey. They're spending hockey like the puck bunnies, whatever. That stuff was making me, okay, this is like an actual plot and not just, here's someone who's gonna be mean every four scenes. - Yeah, it was a little tough for me. I also didn't love the eyeliner, but you know, it is what it is. - Yeah, you have to pick a struggle. I do wanna say, I'm ready for the love triangle with Ali and Dean and Hunter. - Hunter. - The new guy. That's like where the season ends. - Oh, right, oh my god. - When that new guy comes in, he had to fake ID. Well, that, I'm ready for. - I think that'll wake it up. 'Cause we gotta have better sex scenes all I ask for at the bare minimum. But otherwise, it's a little hard for me out here. Also, who's the guy, the brother, what's his name? John? John has an op in me. - You don't like him? - Well, I don't know his real government name, but that is Renee Raps, ex boyfriend. Who's you wrote the song Boston about? - So happy Pride. - What is Boston feeling to our beautiful queen? - I know. - Did you ever see that? There's so many songs about hating Boston, like what happened in Massachusetts? - I'll tell you, nothing good. - Okay, any thoughts on Justin, the musician? - Smash. - And you? - Yeah, smash. - But again, I'm like, we can't be, it's still talking about this damn songwriting competition. - Well, the song, the songs. And you know what, maybe she hasn't done the artist's way, but she has it, and it's on a bookshelf. And we're so close to her, really unlocking her full potential. - Collecting dust, we gotta get it off the shelf. - Yeah. - But, we'll stay tuned for season two, I think. - I mean, as long as Garrett Graham is on there, I'm seated. I'm, they're telling me, season two's on. Renee, and I said, I'm still seated. - Where's he from? - Chicago. - I don't know. But I know, I'm checking in at that hotel. - Yeah, I hate that. - But before that, who got a guest here with us today? - We got a guest here when we talk about some good stuff. I learned a lot in this conversation. And I'm happy, I'm better for it. And that's called Allysian. - Hunter's Allys card is right now. - Blotting him status. - Mm-hmm. - A round trip with that. But we, like, get me out of New York. Probably there's too much. But we have Caleb, actor, comedian, podcast host. With us here today, and we're so excited. We're gonna talk about astrology. I was gonna say some gay stuff, but that kinda goes hands in hand. And Caleb Herron has a new movie on Netflix right now. You can stream it after this episode called Little Brother. - Are you looking for a safe space for your secret celebrity opinion? - Do you need someone who understands your latest internet obsession? - We are a pair of best friends who connect overfesting and discussing all things pop culture. - We're your first stop after that TMZ push alert. - From Higher Ground Audio, I'm Peyton Dix. - And I'm Hunter Herron. - And this is Let Me Say This. - Let me say this. - Let me say this. ♪ I'm a sadist ♪ ♪ I'm a sadist ♪ - So I just want to acknowledge that you're in drag because we were like, oh my God, world cup! And you said that's not me. - Right, and so this, it is a type of drag, but this is actually not gonna be a Jersey for any team at all. So it is also funny for you to be like, world cup. And it's very clearly just like a fake shirt that I'm wearing. But yeah, I am in drag. I cut my hair short for the summer and now I'm wearing soccer jerseys. You know, everyone goes through changes, you guys. - Well, and you were, you said, you just did the next. You can't do the world cup show. - I can't do the world cup too. I don't even care about basketball like that. I've been a next fan for two weeks. It's been one of the most beautiful journeys of my life. - That's two weeks of my life. - I am absolutely loving it. I'm a bandwagon fan to my core. I've been writing poetry about bandwagon fans. - Oh, incredible. - I'm like, I'm in a moment right now where I'm just like, yeah, I'm a huge next fan. I'm loving New York feeling like this. You're just so up right now. I love it. I'm not even mad about the school bus situation. I'm like, sure they shouldn't do that, but let 'em have fun. - So it was out for the summer. - I was just like, who cares? - I don't care that much about them lighting the bus on fire. But for some reason, taking the hood off, and did you see like that one clip? Someone took the hood off in a way that was like, is this personal? - Yeah. - It was like, why that? - I don't know about it, but don't show a hood. - Don't take the hood off you guys. - I get mad when people start taking down street signs. I'm like, we need actually need girls. That's actually something we're gonna need to know where to go. - I need to know if that's 13th Street or not. Please don't take that down. - Did you see the boys and girls as in the girls and girls and the boys and boys kissing on top of, I think they're in four green somewhere. - There's gay kissing. - Two girls kissing and two boys kissing. - That's romantic to me. That's like, that's romance. - That is so fun. - I wish I could see two guys kissing right now, or two girls kissing. I mean, what am I supposed to see? - Well, you know, two guys kissing and two boys kissing. - That's so beautiful. - I wish I was there. No, I was not, and I even live over there, but I was in Chinatown with all the crazy people. - Oh my gosh, we went down with such a fun ride. - It was crazy. There were like 30 people riding like a 15, like a passenger van through the streets on top of it. I was like, let's go. - I saw a man driving with his foot out of the car, smoking a blend, like blasting a jaw rule. And it was like, wow, you're doing that. - That was actually-- - Oh, you saw me. - That was actually me. - Fire is limit all the street, I'm like, I love New York. - It's really fun being in between the two of you. - Yeah, do you like that? - I'm like, I'm like feeling real light. This is a really good time to me. - We were like, wait, we gotta put the guests in the middle because I do feel like it's your under investigation if we're all on one side looking at you. - Yeah. - This is like a little bit more open. - I'm surprised y'all have me back. I'm surprised y'all have me back. 'Cause y'all have switched up a little bit. You're hanging out with Michelle Obama now. Things are different. And so I'm just surprised that I got the call. I'm grateful, I'm excited to be here, but I'm surprised I got the call. - We're a little bit more buttoned up. - Not at all, not at all. - Actually it's been like butter's been sure off. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Wait, I have to ask something really quickly. The poetry, Ernest or why? - Now when I say poetry, what do I mean? I mean, I've been working on a book of essays for a long time. It'll probably never come out, who knows. But I get on these little kicks where I'm like, oh, I'm really into this topic. And right now I'm really into bandwagon fans. 'Cause I've been a chiefs fan my whole life. And we were really bad my whole life. And then we got good a couple of years ago. And now it's like TBD. We'll see what happens this year. But we drafted a bunch of defensive players. Patrick Mahomes says no. I mean, whatever. But I, when everyone started bandwagoning the chiefs and all the straight men in my life were getting like pissy about it. I was very much like, guys, this is fun. Welcome everybody to the party. - Yeah. - And now I feel that way about the next. I'm like, guys, welcome me in, I'm here. - Okay, that's good to know that you've like, I've lived both sides. That wasn't even like the Eagles, but not because I'm such an Eagles fan. I'm just a daughter of a man who loves Eagles. Which makes me like, basically the mascot. But like, I was like, if you've experienced the other side of it, it's like, no, it's fine. We want more people in here. So we can all grow together. Yeah. - I want to invite everybody to the party on all like all aspects. Like anybody who wants to see my worldview, if you want to be involved in something I like, you're welcome. Come on in. I feel that way about everything. Politics. If you want to see things my way, you're welcome over here. Come on in. - And me with the next fans, I want them to embrace me. - Yeah. It's like, as a lifelong next fan, it's been a real reframe for me. I'm now welcoming them with open arms. - Have you been, but were you hitting it at first? Be honest, it's okay. - It's okay. I'm an only child. I hate everything at first. - Yeah. - Oh my god. - That was beautiful. - What can I say? - That was real. That's real as you've ever been. You're like, let's come and tell it to you straight. I don't like it. - Did you wish you had siblings when you were a kid? - No. - Nice. - I like that. - Do you ever wish I had an older sister? Like, I was at my friend's wedding and her older sister spoke. And it didn't cry throughout the rest of the wedding. Love you, Gianna. - Oh, this is so special. This bond is so incredible. - Do you come from sibling experience? - Yeah. - Okay. (laughing) - And say we're about that. - Yeah, kind of. My whole thing, every single thing about my family is so complicated and sort of white trash in a beautiful way. But like, yeah, my sibling situation is complicated, but I have a brother and two sisters. - Yeah. - Okay. - Yeah, my sisters are cool as hell. - Did you grow up with them a little bit? Or was it more of like a leader in life kind of? - Yeah, it was a leader in life situation, but I would say, like formative years, it was really nice. My sisters were definitely around when I was like, figuring out who I was. And if it weren't for them, there's like a decent enough chance that I went like a boring way and they showed me cool music and kind of helped me be cool. What I think I'm cool. But they helped me be a little cooler. They helped me have better tastes. - Oh, that and all that. And see, that's why I want a sister. That's why we're there. - That's what they're there to show you like Deathcap for Cutie. That's what they're there for. That's what the big sister was. - 'Cause I will follow you into the dark. - Oh, I said that. - I will follow you into the dark. - And I've been saying-- - You all meet's body of more transit lanterns since we talked about a Myspace song. - Yeah, thank you for staying now. - Oh my God, that era of music is really important to me. - Dude. - In a spiritual way. - I'm saying, my older sisters, all they were doing was shopping at wet sealant dealias and playing me music I hadn't heard before. - Oh, Hot Topic? - They were. No, we weren't a Hot Topic. - Okay, well, Deathcap for Cutie was Cusby for the Hot Topic. - For sure. - Not in the Midwest though. - No, I don't think. Hot Topic, to me, was like, oh my God, you're listening to scream homies, is that? - Yeah. - Like, how do you watch invaders in? - Yeah, that's scary, scary, scary, scary. Okay, wait, I have to ask a chief's related question. Taylor Swift's wedding, are you invited? - I've not been invited to Taylor Swift's wedding. - Yes. - I don't, you know what I'll say yet? I don't like going to weddings. At all. - Oh my, wake that up, tell us why. - I don't get it. I don't understand why we're doing it. I'm so happy you're in love, but like, go do the paperwork with the government, and then leave us out of it. I have to come to Idaho, I just don't get it. I have to like, well, I don't get it. I will never, unless the person I end up with really, really, really once won, I will never do this to my loved ones. You're in love, I have to get you a toaster. It doesn't make any sense to me. I don't understand the math of it. - Wow. - It just doesn't make any sense. And also, your friends who get married expect you to drop everything, and they have never dropped everything for their single friends. When I have a big show or have a big life event, most of these people are not dropping everything, but then the wedding, all of a sudden, the friendships in question, if I don't wanna come. I don't understand that, that doesn't make sense to me. - Are you in a season of going to a bunch of weddings? - Yeah. (laughing) - And what are you doing? You said you're like, "Sorry, you're not gonna see me." - No, I'm there. I'm looking forward to it. (laughing) - I go to the ones I can't. And I do, I will say there are some that I look forward to more than others. There are people that I'm really close with. If I have a speaking role, that makes it a little easier to stomach. If I can get some situation. - Do you get asked a lot as someone who, like, is a professional speaker? That's a good question. - Yes. - Oh, my God. - I'm fidgeting another wedding this fall. And I do take it really seriously. I walk in. I just got, actually, the two people I'm fidgeting the wedding for this fall, they just, I sent them homework and they just send all their stuff back to me. - Okay, I love that. I love when Efficiencyans, like, talk more about the couple and how they met or what their love storyers or their journeys together, then they do about, like, random platitudes about love. That's the worst type of fidgeting to me. - Don't do that. Don't do that. You need to send homework. You need to get the information. I ask them all kinds of questions about, like, their feelings on love and what they think of me and when they knew that they were in love and like, their favorite love songs and things to do together. And then I'm gonna use it to create this, like, well, the ceremony, of course, but I'm gonna use it to, like, inform the other stuff that I pull in. - Oh, wow. I love that. I also love when people talk to parents. - Yeah. - When they ask the parents and the grandparents about, like, the, the best officiating is stuff that, that goes the extra mile. You're really working. - I love the wedding. - You're really working. - Yeah, I love the wedding. - You love the wedding. - You know, I love a fickle bitch. But when I say something 10 Jo's and suddenly, I'm like, I'll flip it. - Actually, no. - It's one thing about me. Anything I said earlier, I might not mean it right now. - Totally. - You're not defined by your past. - No, not at all. - And that's actually quite evolved of you. And go ahead and rewind just about five minutes and then press play again. - And then press play. - I do not care. It's fucking wedding right now. It might be, I love them tomorrow. And that's all my opinions. I'm completely for sale. I am, I'm completely for sale. I'm totally flip-flopping. I'm inconsistent. I, yeah, I love that way. - You're in community here. - I'm in community right here. - Do you know it's so funny? The other day I was filming this late night show type thing and like an internet version. - How's the tonight? - Yes, how's the tank. And my assistant Michelle, who we love, was there. And they asked me to say something like immature about myself and I couldn't think of something. And so I was like, Michelle, like yell out something immature about me. And she was like, "No, you're perfect," or whatever, I was like, "Michelle." And then as soon as the camera's cut, she comes over and she goes, "You're impatient." - Oh! (laughing) - And Michelle was doing it. - Immediately. I was like, "Michelle, where was that for the cameras?" - Wow. - Oh, wait, do you agree? - Oh, I'm totally impatient. She's completely right. I think the math we were doing after that was whether or not we think that's immaturity. I am impatient, but I'm like, do we bucket that as a maturity? I'm open to it. - I don't think so, actually. - I don't think so either. - I don't think it has a thing to do with maturity. I think like, one, I think it's knowing yourself. - First of all. And I think how the impatience manifests. - Right, right. - Like if you're impatient and it becomes everyone's problem and you're like drowning the room, that's one thing. But if you're impatient and you're like, "I just need this thing done." That's not really impatience. - I think it's a flaw. Impatience is a flaw in me regardless in something I could work on. Whether I do or not is to be determined, but sure I'm impatient. I mean, gosh, that's not even one of the big flaws if you think about all of them. - Are you like good at boundaries with people? - I think so. - I'm in a big, like everyone I know right now is really working on having boundaries. Like no one seems to have them. - Really? - Yeah, but I'm friends with a lot of like lesbians, by the way. And non-binary people. We are all too loosey-goosey with it. - Hell no. - I'm gonna say straight people are bad at boundaries too. - Rips, everyone in here. - Straight worlds, I feel like the things I've seen with straight men. - Yeah. - No boundaries. - Look at for you. - Boundaries, I think I am good with it. Here's what I get annoyed by though. My friends who are bad at boundaries when they decide to like start working on boundaries, I'm always the person who gets beta tested. Like I get the boundaries before anyone else, which makes sense 'cause I'm super demanding and loved things my way. But I hate that. When I'm the only one getting boundaries as they're like trying it out, I'm like I don't wanna be the test audience. Try it on someone else. I don't wanna be the first guy to get boundaries in your life. - Like please don't. - And it's always these lesbians. I'm the first one. - Lesbians are always trying to test their boundaries because the hours are way further. - Yeah. - And it's always for me. 'Cause they know I can take it. But I'm literally, I'm calling and being like, what are you doing right now? Let's go, we're young. We're only gonna live once. We'll die one day, get out of the house. And they'll be like, no, I said I would make T and knit tonight. So I'm making T and knitting tonight. But I love you. And I'm like, oh! - But I nearly made T and knit later. - I miss when you were a doormat. (laughing) - Are you on that type of time? You're like, we outside. You're like, well the next one. So. - It's like literally whenever I wanna do something, like I don't like to have anything on my calendar. - Yeah. - This has been on my calendar. Us doing this. It's been on my calendar for a long time, right? Ideally, you guys would have called me like an hour ago and been like, hey, do you wanna come to the show? And I'd be like, oh my god, yeah, let me get on the same bike. - Yeah. - I wish every, that's not how the world works, but I wish everything in my life could work that way. That'd be amazing. But you have to have plans, but I don't like them. So socially, I try not to have them. - I get that. If I'm like five minutes away, totally. I'm there, let's do it. But if you're asking me what I'm doing in November, it's like, please don't even, now you're playing. Now this is a game. This is a game. - That's a game. - Dentist. - Because of dentists? I don't know if I can come to your office. - No, I don't even know if you like that. - In the world. - In November. - Like how dare you. - I find I found a cool dentist. This is actually a problem in my life. In my dentist is in Kansas City, he's wonderful. But he's the reason I'm with him is because he's cool about my schedule 'cause sometimes I'll have to cancel the day before. It's like, "Oh, I'm actually not coming to town anymore." And he's really cool about it. But it's hard 'cause they're like, yeah, in six months in my baby, I don't even know who I am then. - I don't know who I am right now. I don't know what's happening in six months, whether my teeth, I don't know who they're gonna be. Like, it's a very different story. - Yeah, also wake up having like, I like going to my dentist in LA. I went to New York, I went to 10th, have you ever been to 10th? - Mm-hmm. - You ever been to 10th? (laughing) - That hellish place, it is so fake. They put like Netflix on and like, nobody more, it's now, yeah, now it's just like, I don't remember. - It's used to be like, you can have anything you want and now it's like, you can choose between these four shows. And one of them is always listed, rent it, listed or leave it or something like that. Listed or love it? I don't know. - You're going to 10th like this? You know they're contacting? - Actually, that's part of why I stopped going. I was like, yeah, I used to be able to choose whatever I wanted. I could watch anything and now I can only watch real estate shows, which I do like, you can get to that link. (laughing) - And don't worry. - And don't worry, we won't get to that. - We actually want to ask really quick, what are you digesting right now? What are you watching that you're loving, standing? - Oh my gosh, I just rewatched Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins. Do y'all remember when we put Queen Latifa, not Queen Latifa Pardon when we put Monique and Cedric the Entertainer in movies? - Mm-hmm. - Do y'all remember that? - And we need to go back to that time right now. - Cedric the Entertainer doesn't do movies anymore. And that's a societal failing. What else have I been watching? I just rewatched The Breakup 2006, Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston. - You know what, can I say something about The Breakup? - I wish he would. - Vince Vaughn correctly pronounced what's his name? Lionel Richie, he said Lionel Richie in that movie. And that's how I always thought you were supposed to pronounce it. - He says, I'll play it all night long, maybe Lionel Richie. - And now, and now that he calls me a whole press tour out of Crescent Prouncing, his man's name. - Yeah. - That's crazy to me. - He was right in 2006. - He was right back then and that movie is incredible and it doesn't get enough credit. - But Vince Vaughn unfortunately does fucking suck now. - Does he? - And I used to think he was fine as hell. - He knew that he was fine as hell. - Back in the day. - Yeah. - But now yeah, he's like wrong. - He's probably even low key like two persons are fine. - He was never my type. I always would hear people say this and I never understood it about this. - There's a tone of his voice. I like his voice. - I knew it was good for me though. When people started telling me that Vince Vaughn was hot to them and I knew so much that it was about charisma and personality. I was like, this is a win for me regardless. Like even if I don't see it, this is good for my place in the world. I was like, that's huge. That's also when I knew that I could kill as a straight man. It's not my journey, but when my girl started telling me they were feral for people like him, I was like, man, if I was a straight man, it would be fucking crazy. - Well comedians get away with way too much, I'll say. But I actually wanna ask, what do you think is the most accurate stereotype about comedians? - Oh my God, what are the stereotypes about comedians? Well, the stereotypes about comedians. I don't know. I mean, I don't really hang out with, I feel like a lot of the comedians that, I was in a bar last night and I was talking to this guy. I overheard him saying that he had a 2.45 AM pickup for a flight and I was like, where are you going? And he was telling me whatever he was like, oh, I'm going to Charlotte. I'm like, oh, you must be flying American, whatever. We're talking about the flight situation. And then he goes, what do you do? Because I said, I travel a lot for work. He goes, what do you do? I go on my community and he goes, have you ever done Kill Tony? And I said, no, I'd rather kill myself. And he got really quiet and sad. And that, I think, is the, those kind of guys, not the guy I was talking to, I'm sure he's lovely. He just has bad taste. But those kind of guys in comedy are the guys that I think people would be thinking of when they think of stereotypes. I'm hanging out with like Sidney Washington and Lisa Trigger. (laughing) - It's like, I just like being late and messy, maybe that if those are the stereotypes, maybe we're holding hands. - Quite literally her brand that she has marketed. (laughing) And that's late. - Yeah, yeah. - So maybe that? - You're like, lovely women, I don't know. - Lovely women. - Mentally ill, for sure. - Of course. - No way around it. - Well, that maybe is probably the true stereotype. It's like, there's always mental illness, even just a little one sprinkled in. - That's right, how many comes from that and trauma? - It's from the sicknesses. And you guys have the sickness too, or you wouldn't be doing this, right? - Well, don't you have some sort of, why do you guys do this? - Yeah. - We all get up and leave with it. (laughing) - I think there's money in it, but that wasn't when you started it. - I guess I should start with the doctor. (laughing) - We love the sound of our own voice. I mean, I guess now that it feels like everyone has a podcast, do you think there's a stereotype about podcasters? - Oh, I don't know about a stereotype, but I mean, it's like everyone thinks that it shouldn't be, people are always commenting on my stuff and saying, "We need to stop giving white men microphones." And I largely agree. I'm like, "Down with that." I'm not gonna stop personally, but I get the pulse. - Yeah, the other way. - Totally, totally. - Well, we got that recently in flux on a video of us dogging Drake back and forth. - I'd like me to say dogging. - I would say speaking about it. - Yeah, speaking the truth. And like, called all men gay and every single man was like, "That's just Drake, he's gay, we're not gay." And I was like, "You're making this gay or you're making gay?" - Yeah, this is getting gay or by the moment. - Yeah, but we're different. We're not like other girls and it comes to podcasting the three of us. - Why did you start this? - What was this in Genesis of this? - On Genesis. - Like a text. - Yeah. - I feel like. - Yeah. - Like they're just us sitting back and forth. - Yeah, I think this is so funny. Okay, we should take this on the road. - Yeah. - Am I on the road? - I mean, in a studio. - Okay, boom. - Yeah, yeah. - Let's start torn before having a podcast. Yeah, I think we just like had conversations like separately and then like with other people and then together, not other people like other co-hosts, but like me individual conversations, Hunter, individual conversations. And we both have the same thought of like, well, one, I would not want to host anything alone that sounds like a nightmare. But two, there's kind of no one else I would do this with. Like I feel like Hunter and I had the same exact like broken brain that was like, oh, we can actually like, really work together well on something like this. - Yeah. - Or kind of. - Yeah. - I think that also people, we need to share our opinions. People need to be told the truth about Drake. And about, I don't even know what else, Sydney Sweeney. - What is the truth about Sydney Sweeney? - I don't like the Bob. I don't like anything about, I don't think that's, I think she's like a talented actor. But I'm just like a bit like, okay, we get a dating scooter front of our attention. Whatever, enough is enough. - Yeah. Well, she's speaking to a lot of women who also behave this way. Dating like a mid guy for attention and getting a haircut that doesn't super work for you, like this is for the girl. - That's just a bad experience. - I don't think they even like accept her that much. Like she's not like the Taylor Swift of the Sydney Sweeney community. She's just like, I was gonna say like, even worse, I feel like I just don't think about her, which is what, I'd rather people think about me and hate me than be like, okay, that's actually different. 'Cause you know why I was thinking about her? 'Cause Nikki posted that AI video, or AI photos, saying happy birthday to Donald Trump. And Sydney Sweeney just happened to be in one of those photos. And I was like, oh wow, totally. - Yeah. - Crazy. - The AI, the like directors coming out and actors coming out on supportive AI right now. What is going on? - A lot of people are meeting. They're all in a group chat. It must be like a big group WhatsApp. 'Cause why are they all coming out of the exact same moment? - Dan, they don't need to do it. - That'd be like, if we agree in numbers, it'll like soften the blow in all of us. Like, Dan, I wonder if they're like- - It's like a pregnancy act. - Yeah. - That's a great time to do that. - There's like all these carousels now being like, where are people standing on AI? And it's like, Demi Moore support. Whoever vehemently opposed. And now we're like making the battle lines. And I'm like, how is this even a conversation? You're so rich, you don't even have to be co-signing this. And you're just like choosing to. - And also like, well, the Demi Moore one, was she asked about, I didn't watch the full video of that. But do you know if they were like, hey, are you pro or anti-AI? And what was her response? - A lot of them are just like, reach them just came out and just said like, oh, I'm like supportive of AI. Just by the way, if anyone's wondering. - Yeah. - That's always the funniest way to get yourself in trouble. Was when nobody asked. - Yeah. - Hey, just so you guys know, I have a fucked up opinion. (laughing) - I mean, it really is, it's just like capitalism. I don't know. I feel like there's just so much money in it. And then like, and people want checks. And that's really the root of how much money is enough. - That's the thing. - Something to sit with. - My bank, I was like, no, no. We can work. - Yeah, we're more. - But I'm a little more, and I'll call you one. I wouldn't, when I'm ready, but. (upbeat music) - Okay, real talk. I have spent so much money on skincare that looked incredible on the shelf and then did nothing for my skin. - The packaging got us every single time. - And then I'd like drain my bank account to stay consistent with something that wasn't doing anything for my skin. - Okay, and see, that's where notorium changed everything for me. Specifically, they're glow-getter bundle. It is everything in a shower and one. It's fantastic, write it down. It's that girl, I'm telling you now. - Okay, but then the body's scrub, the body oil, the whipped body butter. I mean, my skin looks expensive and it feels expensive. - And the gag is, it's not expensive. It's actually affordable enough to keep up with and stay consistent with. Nitorium is clinically effective. It is dermatologist tested and is even pH balanced. And they have the consistency club, where you can earn points just for reordering, which means that your empty bottles can refill themselves, basically. - Your empties earn points. I mean, I love that for us. - I love it for you. I love it for us and I love it for you. - Give your skin the glow-up it deserves. Go to notorium.com/lemme. That's L-E-M-M-E for 10% off the glow-getter bundle. - That's notorium.com/lemme. (upbeat music) - Okay, let's talk about a little brother. - Streaming? - No. When does this episode come out? (laughing) - In 2005. - Yeah, in 2005. - Streaming now. - Okay, I agree. Offbook. - Okay, really quickly. I wanna know, because there's a reality TV show that's part of this premise, what reality TV show would you be on? - I think it would be really powerful. It would be their final season if they had me on, but it would be really powerful if they brought me into selling sunset to clean things up. - Oh! - Yeah, somebody needs to get in there. 'Cause it's a mess. - What would you do? - I would put everyone in their place. The little guys. - The little guys. - The little guys who run the join. The only person who's getting off scot-free probably. Michelle. I'm gonna have a talk with her about some of her behaviors, but for the most part, I think she's in the right. A lot of these Mary, we got to tone it down. Like, there's just a lot of people that are getting notes for me if I get unsettling. So if you had me in the office, every episode would be like five minutes because the first time someone started acting crazy, I'd be like, everyone shut the fuck up. Let's go sell some houses. Like I cannot believe. The trouble these women get into, and it's the only reality show I've ever really ever watched because it happened to me during COVID. Yeah. And then I have unfortunately formed a bond with Crichelle. And so I need to know what's going on with her. Unfortunately, I'm so jealous. Because you formed a bond, Crichelle? Per socially. Oh, I was like, we don't. Okay, Humble, right? Unfortunately, I'm dear friends with Crichelle. We don't know each other. What? I don't know her from Eve. She doesn't know me from Adam, but she's from Missouri. So in a way, we know each other. Yeah. But so I started watching and it's just crazy the number of times that like some woman in that group will say something totally innocuous. And another woman will be like, the last thing you can do is come from my family and my business. And it's like no one did. Like you guys have to relax. Yeah. It's crazy. And if I was on there, I think I could clean some stuff up, especially with the little guys. The little guys. They're fomenting. They're fomenting what weird culture I feel. Some things weird about them, but I do hate that I could tell them part so easily. Can you? Yeah, of course. Yeah, of course, I'm joking. I was joking. I want the one thing I do want them to keep though are those tiny little outfits and those f*ck me pumps that they wear to like every listing when you're on a hill. And you're in like a six inch stiletto. And you're just like stumbling down the stair. Honestly, it's impressive. You're dressed in like a dress that's only changed. Yes. I completely make it otherwise. It's 20,000 square feet. I'm like sh*t. I need to get into this. I'm not a real estate showgirl except for House Hunters International. That I could watch for hours. International specifically. Yes. Oh my gosh. You have not lived until you've seen a mother and father from Missouri who were like trying to move to Spain with eight kids and they only have money for like a two bedroom. And they're like, so I actually do need six bedrooms and you need to find this for me. And so something is like this room doesn't have windows, but I guess like that can count as a third bedroom. It's really electric. I really, really love it. That sounds amazing. I've never seen it. Oh my gosh. It's actually streaming on HBO Max. Streaming on HBO Max. I was never into a like going out of big. I mean, I guess selling suns up at like a more traditional one except for like what's the one with trading spaces? No, it was like the Wasion woman married to that white guy. They broke up, but they kind of like flip it reverse. Joanna calls something. I don't know. I don't know. It was a really good. I really liked it. I mean, well, I really liked it. I will say I was chip in Joanna. That one. Yes. Yes. Yeah. I was fully like having an abortion sitting in the waiting room and I just was like sitting being like, this was a really good show. Like, this is a great program. And that's how I got turned on to it. If anyone's wondering, it's a lovely show. What an origin story. I love that. Anything can happen when you have an abortion, by the way, but life opens up to you. HDTV. But did you watch like, I guess, well, selling sunset? You would already watch it. You didn't like prepare. No. No, most of my ego, Woldem and I play like partners in this movie. Yeah. Yeah. Which was like, I was so excited when I found out that ego was, I don't remember when I found out, but they're like, ego Woldem is going to play the other one. I was like, oh, I would do this for free. Like, I think she's so fucking brilliant. Yeah. And most of my preparation was just like kind of trying to like brush up on improv because ego does not play around. She's so fucking quick and smart and funny. And I was like, I cannot be left in the dust. Yeah. And I just need to be able to like keep up with her. So I was mostly just like genuinely trying to go in with my mind right to be like, all right, they're going to number one, let us improvise because Matt Spicer is a really great director and has like a really great eye for comedy and like great taste. And they're going to let us improvise and then ego's going to fucking like blow me out of the water. So I'm like, let me just try to like keep up. That was the goal. Oh, hair. I didn't realize you guys were improvising so much, but that's so fun. We did. And it was so much fun. I mean, we didn't need to. Jared and Andy wrote a great script genuinely, but that's always the fun. The tough thing about improvising is when you go into a script and you look at it and you go, they are going to ask us to improvise in a way that it's only going to be funny if we kill on that day. When you have a great script, like the one that Jared and Andy wrote, little brother, you go in and you're like, if I just didn't on the page, it'd be great. And if I get to improvise, I think we can find something really special. That's like a dream come true. A little brother out now streaming on Netflix, Aaron Conjray, John Cena, Chris Maloney, Michelle Monty and Ben Aller, Sherry Cola. It was, it's really, really fun. Sherry Cola is so funny. She's unbelievable. I wanted to be like the biggest fucking comedian actress. Like, Bob. Can I tell you, she has an energy that is like on, like, Sherry will, she connects with everyone on such a deep level. And I think I'm a nice guy, like I really try to be present. I'm telling you, I'll get to set on like, it'll be the afternoon of day one of Sherry's like time on set and she'll be like, she'll be like talking to a PA and she'll be like, I want you to know, like your mom is going to make it through this. And I got you a gift and it's in my dressing room and I want you to go in there and grab it. It's like unbelievable. The amount of like connection and locking in that she is able to do. That's so much capacity. I love that. Yes. And it's beautiful. Sherry? Oh, yeah. Okay. That's what I want. Big lesbian. Thank God. Sherry Cola. Big massive lesbian. Most women are actually, but yeah. Let's make that up. And she was like, I'm on my way. Come on. Any chance? Well, no, I'm afraid. I feel like I'll start. I'll make a pit stop at buy and then you'll have a gun pointed at me. No, that's not true. That's not true. Because of the buy stuff. I love bisexuals and you know that. Someone does them. It's like only you. I love bisexuals and you guys know that. You know, a lot of people are for them. This, this, this has got to stop. There's a real, there's a real narrative about about me out there that won't work. That won't work. It won't work. It's not true. I actually need to know how it was working with speaking of bisexuality. John Cena. John. He's great. He's so funny. He doesn't really do small talk. So it's kind of funny because you'll finish a take and he'll be like, I was in a relationship at the time we were filming the movie and I was like, it was tough because the movie we were working like really long days and like overnight and stuff and I was missing like my boyfriend's like birthday week and I was like kind of bummed about it. But I was like, you know, I'm really grateful to have the job. I'm excited to make the movie and I was like talking about it and, you know, to groups of people. But then we were finished to take and John would turn to me and he'd go, just something like this is a one example of a bigger thing with him. But he turned me and be like, what do you think is the most important thing in life? And that would be how we would start our like post take talk like chit chat. And I'd be like, I mean, I don't know, being happy being yourself and he go, love. I love that. I love that. All the time with that. It was really, I just yeah, I was really enamoring. And you know the lore about his suits. Oh my gosh. Okay. This is one of my favorite clips ever. He's sitting at dinner with his, I think ex-girlfriend and she's like, oh, did you do some shopping in New York? He's like, yeah, I got some suits. She's like, how many? He's like, well, she's like, John, how many? He says 55. 55. She's like, I got 50 percent. She's like, you have to stop. You're in one shopping day, like may not for my own heart, sorry. I love that. I like that. He seems like strict, but also a lover. That seems really important. That's really our dynamic. You know, well, he would do well on his blog. John, you do really well, I'm gonna say this. He's really disciplined. I mean, of course, it just makes sense. But yeah, it's really, it's crazy. He's another person that like talking to him, you know, I don't have it. I'm not, I'm not like really meant to be the guy. And John, Cena was born to be the guy. Like, he would be like, yeah, I'm rapping. I meant to rap at 2 a.m. tonight. I'm gonna go straight to the airport. I'm flying to Italy. I'm wrestling in two matches. I'll fly back Sunday night Monday. I'll come back here, film this. And then Tuesday night, like it just was like every second of every day. He was being the guy. And I was like, oh, I don't have it. I'm glad it's you, John. So we've got to do the work. If we were counting on me to do it, it would not be happening. I'll tell you that. I'm canceling. You won't see me in Italy. I'm not wrestling in the matches. Like it's crazy. Uh, wow. I didn't realize he was still wrestling. He was at the time. I, he's done his, he did, he was actually on his like retirement, kind of two or while we were filming the movie. And, uh, yeah, it would just be like, you would be filming with him on a Thursday in New Jersey. And then on like Saturday afternoon, you would just see him on the internet getting hit with a chair, like bleeding from the head. And then on Monday morning, he'd be back on set at like five in the morning, smile on. Oh, any chance body double? For what? For the WWE. Yeah. Yeah. It's him. You're like looking at his face. Maybe what if he has, oh, what if he has like a twin? I wish I could have a body double, honestly, so that like my body double could be picking up my dog from daycare. And then I could be here. Yeah. I'd be incredible. He has like a selling something little bit like. Yeah. Honestly. One of my goals in life now is to be so good at being everywhere that people start to genuinely wonder if I have a twin. That's a great look. That's a great look. That's really incredible, like incredibly diligent. Yeah. I just also like love like a low stakes room. Yeah. Don't say it has a body double. Don't say it has a twin. That other and see what happens. I don't know. Yeah. I'll never face, I'll never face body double twin rumors. I'm just not hustling like that at all. I can't. It's not for me. I really need to be biking around Brooklyn in a serious way. What's our new? Aquarius. Scorpio Moon. Are there's great babies? What's that? Aquarius. Aquarius. Yeah. What is that? Are they crybabies? Crybabies. I'm not a crybaby. What's Aquarius? Aquarius lovingly avoidant is normally their main thing. Shout out. Yeah. Shout out to the avoidant community. We're gonna we're gonna keep everything in bed. We're gonna keep everything in bed. You guys just hang in there. Nothing. Nothing more touched to us. And they're like, Oh, I'm just kind of a one because I'm an artist. Do you guys ask my what is my other one? Hold on. I want to say this because I want you to know now if you guys know about astrology, I'd love to know what you think of me. She's the one. She's the expert. Okay, I am going to tell you you in any moment now. - What's the moon? You said Aquarius Sun, what's-- - Aquarius Sun, what's ascendant is rising? - Yeah. - Tourist rising. - Oh my God. - I think Scorpio Moon. - Oh my God. - Okay, can I tell you something? I never retain anything about astrology, but every time I say Scorpio Moon, people that like astrology get very excited. - Yeah, well, I mean, Scorpios are so, like I keep a Scorpio close, I'm a Taurus, and like Scorpios are our sister sign, so it's like who we really, like my best friend is a Taurus, my mom is a Taurus, my best friend is a Scorpio, my mom's a Scorpio. So it's like we fight hard, but we love heavy, and Scorpios are real specific about who they like let in, which is like once you're in though, you're locked in, you're not leaving for life. Like it's very like a very loyalist, your moon is like who you tend to be when you're alone and like what you care about, they're deeply emotional. That's like one of the crybabies, Pisces and Scorpios, but Scorpios has to have like a leather jacket. - What about cancer? - Cancer's a. - Cancer's. (laughing) - Can you think they're crybabies? - No. - They have guns in every pocket. Cancer's are secretly, they're like oh my turn, oh my desktop, but they're secretly murderers. - Yeah. - And we need to wake up that conversation. - Yeah, what's waking up about cancer? - Absolutely. - I believe you, you could tell me anything right now and I would believe it. - Well that for a while, I was in. So being of improv, it was just a way for me to flirt, and I had to just make things up, and like I was like okay, you're feeling seen, we're talking closer and longer, and it really, lesbians out there, just. - The lesbians. - I didn't say anything and it'll really land. - From what I know about lesbians. - Yeah. - These individuals, these folks are incapable of flirting if astrology is in the conversation. It is, I have never in my life, when I'm with a group of lesbians, we get to the signs faster than I've ever seen something happen, and it's really fascinating, and they're flirting with me about astrology, is the other thing, and I watch it, and I watch the way they start looking and rubbing their hands when they're asking about my son, and I go, uh oh, I hope you know, sister. (laughing) - But there's actually always something deep and romantic about a gay man and a lesbian woman, and sometimes I think it's the most fun flirtation that can happen, because it's like, we know that this really will never work, but that's beautiful, 'cause I like to yearn. - It's completely special. - It's so cross. - Yeah, I can see that. The connection that gay men and lesbians should have, not all gay men, not all lesbians are partaking in this. I certainly am, but the connection that gay men and lesbians should have is so beautiful and special. It's really a special, special thing. - People think we're at war, but I'm like, well, first of all, that war is with the bisexuals. It's everyone versus the bisexuals. - It's not true, that's not true. - And there's no, I think the hags and the fags we go together. - We go together in a serious way. - Yeah. - We should, 'cause we all need stuff from each other. - Yeah, well, often. - The lesbians need the gay guys to tell them like what is happening outside of the home. (laughing) What sort of events they might be able to turn down. You know, the lesbians need the gay guys for that, and then the gay guys, they're gonna need a TV mounted, a shelf, you know, like, we're gonna need each other, and that's the beautiful community that I'm trying to be in. - Yeah, yeah. - We start now. - Well, happy Pride Month, you guys. - Happy Pride. - Happy Pride. - I think God, are you, like, lover-hater of pride? - I'm down with pride. I don't go to any of it, but I send my love to everybody, the parades, the marches. I hope you guys are having fun out there. I'm mostly just not gonna walk around with no purpose. Like, I'm just not really milling anywhere for any reason, I'm not waiting in a line. Pride feels like a line to me. - Yeah, it is waiting in a line. - But I think it's beautiful. When I talk to older gay guys about it, I get really emotional, really great. - Yeah, yeah. - Or older lesbian's, when they talk about pride, I'm like, why? - Oh my God, an old dyke on pride is like, actually, like, I should be more proud. Like, I should put my shoulders back in my titties up and like, be gay. - That's true. That's completely true. - The only time I went to a priory was actually with Hunter, and I was like, honestly, still straight at that point, basically, but that was the first and last time I went, and we'll probably never go again. But-- - I'm not going to this. I'm true to this. - That's true. What are you doing for queerness this month? Are you gonna explore it all, experiment? Maybe take a stop on bisexuality. (laughing) - A pit stop and bisexuality. - A pit stop and bisexuality. - I don't know. I guess I need to, I'll find a carabiner somehow. - Yeah. - And I'll start playing with that, I guess. - Please do that. That would actually mean the world to me. - Yeah. - No, that's what I should look like. 'Cause being like, this is my friend's carabiner. - Yeah, so I'm actually-- (laughing) - Can we do, actually, speaking of pride, like a really quick lever-hater version of it? - Easy. - Okay. - Done, let's do it. - lever-hater tops. - Tops? - Tops. - As in the sexual position? - Nope, nope, just a crop one. - Nope. (laughing) - Tops? - Tops. - The shout out to my brothers. I love you boys. I think we need to not get so hung up on positions. I've had a couple of tops message me recently and say, "What would two tops do together?" And I say, "Oh my God, what would two stars do together in the night sky?" (laughing) What would a babbling brook and a beautiful tree do together? - Oh, I love a babbling brook. - What do you mean? What would two tops do together? What's open our imagination, brothers? - You have a bow in. (laughing) - This is what we're gonna say right now. - Yeah, yeah, please, please, please. - I love Tops, shout out, shout out to the boys. In the girls, their girl tops as well. - Yeah, when girls tops as well, they're not in this room. - Might be in this room. - Situations, but yeah. (laughing) - But when you say, like, "Dive, you know that I'm not a tomb"? (laughing) - Might be in this room. - Like, "Cross the Zards." - Yeah, sure. (laughing) - A sparring top, a sparring top. - Oh, y'all, yeah, sure. - Go ahead, ask the next one too. - Oh, well, lever-hater bottoms. - Good on you for staying out of it. - I tried to throw a couple in. (laughing) - Ask the next one. - Okay, bottoms are the most powerful people in our society. Bottoms are their givers, I'm gonna cry. No, I'm actually-- (laughing) - I'm actually gonna cry right now, I'm good. - You're such a genius. - You can find a tissue. - Bottoms are so special and important to our society. They give and they give and they give and they give. And they take and they are such special individuals. They are, God, they're just so-- They have to do so-- When you're a gay guy and you're a bottom, you have to do so much work for sex. You have to do so much work. You're doing operations in the bathroom. And then a top just shows up and gets hard. And that's barely any work at all if you're blessed. And I think bottoms are this nation's backbone. And I wanna shout out bottoms in a very serious way this pride. - And I'm glad you didn't just look to camera and shout out to you bottoms, what do you have to say? - Bottoms, we thank you for your service. Put some patriotic music under this. Bottoms, we thank you for your service. We are so proud of you, you are our brothers and our father's siblings and girl bottoms. I wanna shout you out as well. - It looks princess representation. - It looks princess. - People think it's not work, it is. - It's complete work. And bottoms are doing so much work. They're just doing it all. And bottoms, I wanna say to you, don't ever, ever, ever let a top dull your shine. And if he's not texting you back, I want you to have some self-respect and stop texting him. I want you to stand up. I want you to stop using that little emoji with the eyes that are like, I want you to stop using that a lot of the times and I want you to stand up and stand in your power 'cause we really respect you. - That's beautiful. - Thank you. - That book of poetry is gonna slap brother. - It's gonna hit. - About tops and bottoms. (laughing) - It's gonna be a guy from things like this. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Lover Hater Allies. - Allies? Love. - Okay, no one more time like you mean it. - Can we take it back? (laughing) Can you, what, obviously cut that? Can you go to me again? - Love. - Oh, thank you. (laughing) - Thank you, thank you. - Love, thank you, Allies. - Thank you, Allies. - Lover Hater, the way men act when their favorite team wins a championship. - Love. - Love. - For you. - Love the way men act when they're into sports. It's some of, there are really only two times that many, many men on this earth access a true and pure connection with their genuine emotions. And it's love of a sports victory and rage about anything. And so what we have to do, and obviously when men are rageful, it's scary and almost never justified. And so what we have to do when men get excited about sports is really encourage them. We have to encourage straight men, particularly when they get excited about their sports team. You go into a bar during a next game and it's like the second quarter and they're up by 10 and they make a feel goal and they're hugging, they're grabbing each other, they're brother, you know, it's like that's actually so beautiful. It's some of the only like loving touch that they will do. And we have to have to have to support them. - Yeah, no, I'd much rather they listen to the next than they listen to who's that one old guy feel of on. - Oh, I love that. - No, I'm such a member. Please, please listen to Josh Hart and not feel of on. - Oh my God. - And I support this message. - I'm saying. - I know, I was walking through the streets. I was on like orchard and this guy said, "Everything I do is for the nicks." And it's like, that's beautiful. - Fuck, that's like community. And please keep that energy. - And for something purposeful. - Exactly, exactly. - Because men are rageful about literally the dumbest thing you could imagine. I'm like, what if we channeled all this energy into something that, I don't know, it doesn't matter. - And what if we channeled this beautiful willingness to connect and go out of our way towards just other things as well? You could feel this way about a sunset if you just try. - And sometimes I do. - I do. - Yeah, I do. - Every day, actually. - I'm like, boys, we can do this about anything. - Yeah, you're allowed. I just saw that in my head, that picture of Vinnie and what's the name from Entrache. No, Vinnie and it's not like the situation, but the other guy, the one with the hair, the poly-D, taking a photo of a sunset, like right next to each other. And like, that's boyhood, like that's what matters. - That's boyhood. And the thing is, LeBron got cloned for this. But when LeBron posted that selfie of him in the pool. - Oh my God. - Oh my God. - It's mowing through it all, can't wait this is my life. - That is literally what you should be striving for every moment of every day. You should be crying on the city bike because you can't believe how beautiful it is to be on a city bike. - Thank you. - That is what you should be, Electric. Always electric. Always electric. You should be striving for that. We shouldn't be clowning LeBron. We should be celebrating LeBron. We can clown him for other things. We'll clown him for so many things. Yeah, when he drew SpongeBob. But that was also cool. He's like kind of a social media star sometimes. And the way that Yucky would least expect Ernest King, there's this video of the Nick's like pouring all the champagne on the championship like I always said ball was called like trophy. Yeah. What's it called trophy? I don't wanna hear anything from you because you just said field goes. Don't you even know I'm not talking about the way that she said trophy, trophy. You can tell we're the bandwagon bitches up in here, but that thing. That big old thing. And I was like, your goal, your goal is a technical term in basketball. Your goal is a technical term in basketball. Thank you my brother. Any other, any other boys here want back to the boys? Men as a man around. But very nice try. Oh, you got my ass back and I appreciate that actually. But if they're happy pride, don't leave me. Thank you. Anyway, it was just the most erotic thing I've ever seen. I was like, you guys are so gay. I love this shit. I'm high right now. Okay, really quickly. Love or hate or yearning? yearning. Oh God. Like, I don't know. I'm just high. I don't want to. Do you know what I mean? yearning is so exhausting. I can't believe it's like every moment of every day for your entire life that you have to yearn. I think love. I have to say I love yearning. I think love. I hold up. I think I love it. The sake of the time ever made, which makes you the realest. Oh, I've ever seen. Are you joking? I think love. You have to. What would I do with all my free time if I weren't yearning? Yeah, exactly. A crush can shape my entire day. Yeah. Yeah. The right crush gives a shape. It gives a structure to my life. It gives a structure to your life and can I also say that I think yearning, while of course most of our immediate reactions are to think about romantic yearning for another person, I spend like a good amount of my time yearning for versions of myself. I yearn for who I could be in six months if I lock in. Hey, hey. I have the most important person. Like, yearning is for so many things. I yearn for lunch, dude. I don't know. I'm yearning for like, I'm yearning for things you can't even imagine. I'm yearning for things you can't even imagine. Okay, so that's the episode title. Just so you know. Just so we're clear. And that's how I know your ass did the artist's way. Oh my god. Not the artist's way. We're talking about the artist's way the other day. Oh my god. All the other fucking things stays on me. Yeah. Yeah. I'm crying for help. Thank you for that answer. Yeah. Lever Hader, Afters. No. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Gay guys, stop. If you can hear me, gay guys, stop with the Afters. What the fuck are you talking about? It's a whole separate event. We've done three goddamn events tonight. There was the fucking pre. Then there was the event. God help me if we had to go to another event and now there's the fucking six a.m. Afters. I have, oh, I'm hot. I have had it. I have had it with the Afters. Stop it now. It's like, if you're at the afters listening right now, leave the afters. Leave the afters. If you were at the afters, the sun is up. It's time to go home, gay guys. I can't, I just don't understand it. I'm like, what's either what's what's go home and have sex or what's like call it a night. Get some sleep. There's a big day tomorrow. It's a big day. Afters, I just don't get it. I don't like it. And when you know sometimes you're talking to somebody and you're like really, I don't know, I can't even really get into it. Afters. Hate. Thank you. I love a firm hate. Okay, we're going to close out. Wow. Completely shut you both down. My energy completely sucked it both out. No, because that's what it feels like to be at afters. It's like 14 gay guys in my ear and then like there's like popper. No, actually, no, I actually, it's like overstimulated to a point where it's like this witching hour needs to end. Yeah. I think it should end with breakfast. Like someone should call breakfast in and it's like, okay, so we're going to have these egg McMuffins whatever and then like we all have to go home because it actually is a clock in the morning. Wow, I'm going to cry because I was actually about to say the only acceptable afters is a diner. Oh, love a diner. Let's hit the fucking diner. Let's get a vegan milkshake and some french fries. And if they have a vegan milkshake, it's just better for your tummy. Let's get a vegan milkshake. We're lactate nearby. lactate nearby or just do the milkshake and like roll the dice. Let's get a smash burger. I'm going to cry because that actually is really, really, really special. But like, yeah, just going to someone's apartment at 6 a.m. I have to rip it out all night. It's like not fucking cool. And that's why I'm an ally. I'm not bringing breakfast to the after. It's because the gay guy's not thinking like that. That's like women's business to be like, what if we starve and do more drugs and that gay guy? That's women's business. Okay, we have one last little thing for you. Rank these toxic mask lesbians trade twinks and tenderqueers. Twinks toxic mask lesbians trade tenderqueers. That was so quick. So you've been asked this before. Any questions? Do we have any questions? I don't, what is a tenderqueer? I mean, then I'm like them dot us. Yeah. So that comment section. It's like that. It's weird, man. It's we got to have fun. I kind of it was like we talked about last time when like queer people got mad. Remember in that video that I was like, God hates gays because oh yeah, like whatever. And so many people were like, why would you even like put that rhetoric out into the world and like affirm like all these stereotypes? No, no, no, hold on. So we got to have fun and and lesbians can say fag and gay people can say dyke and it's we're all going to handshake. And I feel like tenderqueers just like to fight internal wars. Okay, got it. So it's like you're like the woke friend. The well, the but not, but the yes, but to an extent, it's like it's woke about something that no one could have ever imagined caring about. Tenderqueers are destroying like they're talking about like woke is not destroying comedy. There's a version of what is good tenderqueers. They will take any fucking thing you say. They will even sometimes start their like screed with like an acknowledgement. A land of knowledge man. They'll be like, I know I'm just like really soft and like this world is hard for me. But like, did it kind of feel like even though it was a joke that maybe there was a little bit of serious. And it's like shut the fuck up. You are 37 years old. You have got to learn how to be in the world. I cannot do it with the tenderqueers. I love you guys. I love how open your hearts are. But I need you to like harden them a little bit, maybe just as a shell M&M style. Like do something so that we don't have to hear from you about every fucking thing you could possibly imagine getting upset about. I'm so glad I asked. I'm so glad that I'm educated. Tenderqueers, it's tough. Toxic mask lesbians on the other end of the spectrum. I find really, really special. I think there's a reclamation in that. I think toxic mask lesbians are some of the coolest most fun people I've ever hung out with. They say shit. You can't even believe. And they do shit. They do shit. And toxic mask lesbians will straight up say some stuff that you're like my Republican uncle would not say that. Like I was fucking crazy. I'm a loving you girl. Okay. I'm an aspiring toxic mask lesbian, but I'm kind of not really either. You don't have it. Thank you. You don't have that. You're too, yeah, you're too pure. Neither of you could be. I don't think either of you could be toxic mask lesbians for different reasons. But you could be. I don't know. You don't talk to mask lesbians. We will find each other at the fun time. For sure, for sure. Communities everywhere you look, that's what you do. Everything I do is for the mix. Everything I do is for toxic mask lesbians. We need an air horn for that. Thank you so much. Wow. Thank you, Caleb, for coming on. This has been even better than the first time. You mean like really you're keeping it better and third time is really going to like shake the table, save the earth. Guys, will you have me back at third time? Of course. Okay, sweet. Of course. That means the world to me. Where can people follow you? You guys do not follow me. I think it's reached, I think it's reached its resting point. But my show comes out so true is out every single Thursday, wherever you get podcasts. Preferably on YouTube. We make the most money from the views there, I believe. What else can you do? You can go see a little brother on Netflix right now. It's a really, really funny cast and everyone who worked on it is so great. Matt Spicer directed. Jared, Andy wrote it. Really, really, really funny movie. And other than that, if you see me on the street, be normal. Love that. Love that. Very important ending. Well, thank you so much. Thanks guys. Thanks for having me.