The transcription features a casual, humorous podcast discussion centered on a soap opera, likely *Coronation Street*. The hosts, reacting to a "best of" episode due to a lack of new material, dive into recent plotlines. Key story points include a kidnapping scenario where Lisa Swain and Carla are in danger, with the hosts critiquing Lisa’s impulsive actions and debating whether she wore a bulletproof vest. Character Bobby is heavily criticized for being unlikable and untrustworthy, with predictions he might sacrifice himself to save Lisa, a notion one host resists. Comedic elements include the "wizard baby" joke about Gary and a graffiti gag. The hosts also analyze wardrobe choices, particularly a controversial brown sweater vest worn by Lisa, sparking a lighthearted disagreement. They recall a previous episode featuring a wake for Craig Tinker and a jogging scene between Lisa and Carla, praising the audio description narrator. Additionally, they speculate about character pregnancies in *Emmerdale* and the potential return of lawyer Kim Wallace as Lisa’s friend. The conversation blends plot analysis, character critique, and playful banter, reflecting a fandom’s engagement with serialized drama.
I bet that wasn't so bad, was it? I decided we were going to go to home. Yeah, why were you expecting something else? You've got to keep this one alive. What's up with that? Well, it's not exactly my best radio. I said, Jane! Thank you, Madam, just did. Your shop was a tap easy tinker. Got it? I'm a cowardly little nobody you really are. Sorry. I've got more innocent people to rest. You want me to squire the ending? Well, Cory really has proven to be the Christmas Grinch this year, hasn't it? And while they have ruined Christmas for most of us, never fear. We are here. And while I don't have a brand new episode for you, because Stacey has been far too busy spreading Christmas joy. Hard to believe, I know. And my efforts to bring you some brand new quality content have fallen a little short, unfortunately. But if you thought that was going to stop me from bringing you a little Christmas joy, oh, how wrong you are, because I bring you. Yeah, the best of show. Yeah, I know, I know. We've sunk so low. But at least we haven't resorted to bringing people back from the dead. So get your mould one. Pull that down the seat because we're never drinking that again. Gather around the Christmas tree, not that Christmas tree. And unwrap your gift from us to you, this Christmas. We never got swayed men are. Jane, what? I mean, I've had to let go of it, but you're right. I remember back in October. You have no idea how badly I wanted to see Lisa Swain's house. Yeah, I mean, we saw the bathroom. Beyond the bathroom apparently nothing. I was saying what's her lounge like? What's her kitchen like? I mean, I like houses, so I naturally was interested, you know. But her bathroom was so beautiful. We were like, we must leave the rest of it at house. Like, and what is the rest of it at house? This is why we have called it a manor. I know, she's got money and she's got taste and we just know that that house would have been great. But we're not going to see it. We are not going to see it because I think ITV budgets. This is why they've moved them in so quickly. It's like we don't have the budget to do another house, okay? We gave you the bathroom. Especially not with Lisa's. No, not with her taste. The bathroom, they've seen that, that'll hold them for a couple of months. And then we'll move her in. And then I'll wait, it's okay because she's a lesbian, so everyone knows what lesbians do. No one will ask questions, it'll be fine. Do you think I'm going off topic a little bit? But do you think that Bobby might end up getting embroiled in the next phase of this rob drama? And he may even end up in prison or something or go away. He may go away. Look. If he, I don't care how, if he goes away, I'm all for it. I would actually, I would really like to see him go to prison. I just feel like something's going to happen to him. I kind of do as well. Unfortunately, I've got the feeling that he's going to redeem himself by putting himself in harm's way. And then they're all like taking back. He might end up saving Sweden's life for something. Oh my god, if he, no, I will not have that. I'm calling it now. Bobby is going to save Lisa. I'd rather she got shot, I'm sorry. It's just the same. She does dumb shit and I'm really angry at her. But then the next week, I'm like, "It's Beth, you're lovely." I love her. I love him, though. Bobby's the only problem here. Because he's not likeable, he's not loyal, he's not smart. What is he off of? He offers nothing. Do you think that Mandy's got murdered? I hope not because I apologized to her last week. I just don't know, that just randomly came into my head. She would have gone, wouldn't she? Unless he went and hunted her down. I imagine she's probably far, far, far away, somewhere safe for her. She's probably in jail because she's still done, she's still broken the law here. She's in jail for her. Yeah, she's stuck in gun in her face. I took her from a hospital. So she's not innocent here. Well, I did really enjoy a tweet during the week that said it had four pictures of her sitting on the couch and with just Carla can't sit straight anymore. I saw this. And she? She can't. She's just sitting gay every day. They're in danger again. But as somebody pointed out today, at least they are in danger together. They're in the same room when they might be killed. So that's an improvement here together. You got to take small wins. You got to take the positives when you get them again. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, that house, I'm not sure where they were. That. No. I didn't recognize it either because it's Kenny Barlow's house. Oh, that wallpaper. Oh, actually, I mean that wallpaper. Like, yeah. So of all the kidnappings, the kidney transplants, the knocks on the head that Lisa Swain has got, the most depressing thing of all of those things is that fucking wallpaper. That is absolutely sending me into a deep, deep depression. And we will briefly talk about fat, what I was laughing about earlier in a mysterious fashion, that Ali, Ali Mack, she's been busy today. I mean, was it today or yesterday? No, no, no. We're in different times, so I don't know what's going on. It took me a few minutes. Well, she's been practicing some art therapy. And she's actually done a drawing. She's done a drawing. I just say that Abby drew a billion times better than me. Didn't she? And she wanted to prove that. You didn't believe me. And I've now proven it because that's crap drawing. I thought she was being modest. That is absolutely that. You would be disappointed if you're three year old brought that home from kindergarten. If anyone else wants to share any drawings that they're doing, I think that's something fun. Are we hosting out therapy now? Is that what we're doing? I think that's what I'm doing. What I'm moving towards. I'm doing it. Listen. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I'll put this. Lisa has managed to wangle herself a long lunch. Oh, you see that. Since when did Lisa Swain take long lunches? No, Carla has changed her life. I know. There's no more workaholic swing. It's like, no, I'm getting out of here. You handle this? I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to new phone for lunch. She's got to go bang a nica factory owner. When she's on this phone call and Betsy kind of gives her that, you're not alone. Oh, God. How angry was she? She wasn't even that angry when Betsy stole the van. She was more angry when, over the, that she copped her, that when she stole a fucking van and crashed it. This is how I, yeah. I haven't, you know, she turned around very fast, didn't she? She whipped her head around so damn fast that if I was Betsy, I would have already had my bags packed and I would have been, I would be out the door, just find a new place to live, kid, because you're in the van. Holy shit. I mean, I mean, that situation is like so embarrassing for both of them, really. It's like she's hearing her mum like the very, um, in seductive on the phone. That's actually traumatising for the young girl. Well, it is, but she didn't even react to that. No, where was her reaction? How often does this happen that she overhears this situation, that she's not even faced by that? And then there was a whole, she's in a dressing gown, she's out of the dressing gown, she's back in there. Oh my God, yeah, dressing gown gate. Holy shit. The analysing of the static hair, the sequencing of the spoiler photos is driven us mental. We put that to Bets, but no pun intended. But we have. Yeah. Can I just say, um, I know we spoke about it a few weeks ago, but there's a serious, serious possibility that, um, Sarah in Emma Dale is going to be pregnant and she'll make charity a great, great cremma, which was, which were made that I like a, a good girl. This is getting out of control. It's getting in control. This is one of the worst things about getting older. The women that we start to fancy. I break that cremma. I tell them to say like a normal thing that happens to everybody. Especially if you often like older women. I'm not saying you do, Rally, but, um, it's not, these, these aren't even like, like, these are, not even proper aids, like they're not even old. Like, she's not old enough to be a good, great, great person. I mean, how old is, um, the pregnancy? Yeah. I mean, she's, I wonder if I had to take a guess, I'd say 47. Like, I have the top of my head. I'm going to check the detective is on Google right now. Yep. Um, Emma is 49. She was born in the welcome. That's cool. I'm watching the Bay of the Moon with that name. I don't know what that means. Um, it's a town, um, in the north. Okay, with a Bay. Um, yeah, so she is 49. Good to know. Okay. Well, there you go. And potentially going to be a great, great cremma.
Um, um, anyway, I thought you would join that. Charity, charity, not, not in, not in my- (laughs) Sorry, we have to separate the world. Sorry. Um, but yeah, just a little bit, I know there are other people out there. I can't be the only one that, you know, like, it is not fair because like, we've spoken about shortland straight before and 33 is just too young to be, may you someone to grab my- (laughs) And maybe it's just too hot to be making her grandma. Lisa enters and tells him to put the gun down and tells her to lock the door and she's having to comply. Mm-hmm. And again, guys, we were all so sure she was wearing a bulletproof vest. (laughs) Oh my god, where can we hide? I might have to just- I'm sure whether we should carry on with the podcast really after the amount- Because we got it so wrong, yeah. 'Cause I said stuff with such confidence as well. Oh, you said it with confidence. Oh my god. Like, unlike- I remember- We're not debating this. She's wearing a bulletproof vest. The end- Move on. I was like, I didn't even know. What's the debate? (laughs) Lisa. This is exactly what Carla told you not to do. Yeah, don't put yourself- I mean, yeah, it's all coming together, isn't it? 'Cause this is like, don't put yourself in harm's way, right? That's exactly what- I mean, that's exactly what she was doing and she knew that she could have been shot. He could have turned her in and shot her straight away. If the swan- Love story was a book, they literally could have called it, don't put yourself in harm's way. 'Cause that's been the main theme, right? Yeah. Yeah. Don't. All the things don't do. Just don't- (laughs) (laughs) He's a chapter. I have to do it. He's a chapter. He's a chapter. He's a chapter. He's a chapter. Don't get dressed. And some chapters are sexier than others. (laughs) Yeah, remember, you were worried there was going to be some kind of tragic situation. I- They were going to witness something that was going to be traumatising. Not just a wizard baby. Oh, pop. The wizard baby. Is that what you call Gary? No. (laughs) I will be from here, won't? (laughs) Is that the name for Alice Day? (laughs) I don't do drugs, I don't fucking know. It's so true. I swear to you, Wes. (laughs) The wizard- (laughs) I actually think I'm crying, which is the first time I cried for laughter on the show. Oh my god. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry. So now we can use the wizard baby to refer to Gary and also order some illness day. (laughs) Next time I'm in Melbourne, we'll give it a go. The wizard baby. The wizard baby. (laughs) No laughter is allowed. When Summer and Nina retrace their steps, the only thing they can remember is the wizard baby. Oh, the graffiti on the wall. The graffiti on the wall. (laughs) Oh my god, I forgot. (laughs) Well, I think about Swallow, I don't know. (laughs) Is that when you come back? I just put myself on mute because I was wheezing. Okay. Back. Back, not back, now. Sorry guys, I think we took some wizard baby before we started recording. (laughs) During the week it came to me. And I can't believe that I haven't thought about this before right now. Do you want to know who Lisa's friend can be? Kim Wallace. Kim Wallace was the lawyer for Toya. And for Peter Barlow, both times arrested by Lisa. Toya, Kim Wallace, Kim Toya. You're also listed somewhere you got to be. They're dragging their feet. Finally, you go and home. I decided when she goes home. I think she's fast enough and sophisticated enough to be Lisa's friend. What are you reckon? I mean, I did not. I don't know how you've bought a dress out of nowhere. But it does make sense. It makes so much sense, doesn't it? Yeah. I mean, do you think this is actually going to happen though? No. But are you sure? Yeah. Somebody, somebody tells somebody. I don't care what she's doing now. Just get her back. Let's put it out there. I'm just trying to imagine how she's going to come in, you know. Well, she's already around. Like, she's already-- Maybe there'll be another case and she'll be defending. I don't know. Betsy. Maybe. Or maybe. Maybe they're just running to each other as a beastrode. She's like, oh, hey, how you doing? Nice arm tattoo. I know Toy didn't like it. She was really judgy when she saw your arm tattoo and she didn't want you as a lawyer anymore because Toy is a judgy bitch. But-- Rob guesses that it's forching cookies. Lisa's favorite dessert. Which is an order. Bum bum. That is a choice. Or just a choice. Yeah. And he-- So I have to tell him, can we just start at one back? Because when he asks her-- and she doesn't answer-- she just doesn't answer at all. Why doesn't Lisa answer? That's right. I think-- I think it's a fucking ridiculous-- like, she's like, mate, have a look at where we are. Do you want to ask a serious question? I'm not doing this. No. Yeah. I'm not going to engage in putting chat. However. [laughs] Let me take you back to when she was at the beastrode having dinner with Betsy. And they were interrupted by that twat that's just gone to prison. And Betsy walked out without-- And we haven't even had pudding yet. So don't tell me that that woman doesn't have strong feelings about pudding. Oh, and then that just leads perfectly into our street fight where Lisa has to hold Carla back from beating on the end. Oh, God. Why are we not writing this stuff? This is going to absolutely trigger you. Oh, fuck. Right off. Fuck right off. Is he for real? Is he actually-- I'm sorry. Is he actually for fucking real? Just fucking-- Bean this cat-- Oh. Is he really still worried about his dad? Really? That was just-- I watched it and rather than thinking about the plot, I just thought of your reaction because I just knew it was going to be-- You were not going to be happy. I-- I got through my topics. Is there anything else you want to cover? There is something that I wanted to bring back and we didn't go back to it. And it's very, very, very important people. This could be the most important thing we talk about all episode. All year, actually. In fact, that brown sweater vest. Okay. Now, I know that you know. I know that you know that I don't like this. It's the worst one. It is the worst one. It's probably the most hideous piece of clothing that swain owns. I don't know why they didn't drown it with the cat. There is a growing mass of people that all agree. Carla needs to burn that thing. Before you know it, this vest is going to have its own Twitter handle. Oh my god. It will. It will. But it is the worst one. I mean, look. Even saying that though, she did make it look adorable. She's sitting on the couch and she-- Obviously, she cannot look bad because she was looking good even in this worst sweater vest. It's not a good look. It's terrible. Can a please go? I-- Look, you've got a tough crowd here because you know I don't feel the same. Come on. I'll give you. I know that you love it. I know that you are a big dyke that loves the sweater vest. But come on. It is brown and hideous. Come on. Give me this one. Well, maybe we should get people to give us some feedback because I will show-- I will show-- if everyone else goes, okay, we like it, we like it. Shut up. I will shut up about it. I will. So, let us know what you think. I feel like we give enough to Lisa Swain's new sweater in this episode. I don't know. We'll talk about that in future episodes, I think, when they're not being kidnapped. Yeah. I mean, I just want to say I like to, basically. I like to-- I like to-- I'm waiting for feedback on the brown sweater. On the sweater vest. But that will come. You might get some people in your camp. Yeah. I think I will. I think I will. I think-- Hey, some haters on the brows. I don't want to be as cocky as Swain here, but I feel like I'm going to get some people on my side here. I'm going to have to become a defender of these. You are going to create the Twitter account for the brown sweater vest, aren't you? We have a whole month worth of episodes and a whole lot of hair twirling to catch up on. Because the last episode that we did cover was the "Wake of Tinker's Memorial." Or, "A.K.A., the greatest swallow wake on record." That's a big thing to say about. But yeah. And when we left them, they were checking out houses with Betsy on the couch, and they were checking on the chicken. Carver leaves Lisa a voicemail saying good morning, and she lets her know she didn't like waking up to an empty bed. She didn't get a little kissy, so she wasn't happy. I accidentally hit the audio description button, and so this is how the episode started for me.
Coronation Street starring Alison King as Carla, Sydney Martin as Betsy and Farrell Heggity as Lisa. Farrell Heggity playing Lisa. So you can understand why I didn't believe this woman when she told me Lisa's outrunning. That Lisa's Wayne was running. Like bullshit, she's right, hang on Lisa's Wayne is running. What? What a way to start the episode. We've been waiting for this Lisa's Wayne in full uniform. Full police uniform. Yeah. Craig Tinker, you did not die for nothing. We open the show with a sexy jog with Carla and Lisa jogging together. A sexy jog. Come on, come on. Yeah, a sexy jog. We can call it that. That's fine. This is adorable. Let's start the show with a sexy jog. Why not? Yeah, what a way to kick off Coronation Street. They should start every episode like this. Carla had around that she was running. It was great. You sound like the audio woman from Coronation Street. I've forgotten about this. I've got, I've actually got any mentioned there. She was a hit last week. People loved her. I mean, you can hear why. I checked in on her this week and she wasn't there. Lisa and Carla are out jogging. Who the hell is that guy? What? So, I haven't gotten her in trouble. I'll have she's back next week. And I will be checking. So don't worry. You'll be hearing about it if she's not. Sorry. Where were we? Gail and Tim's mum and Sally go into report. Kim missing when he's missing during the whole Stephen Reed thing. And when Lisa walks out and she's wearing the stripy jumper and she's putting in a jacket on. Oh, I do like that. Oh, she does look good. Yeah. And she's like, oh, dear, Spain. Are you on this case? And she just looks at it like, like, yeah, same love, same. It's the sweet effect. And the way you're going to see, don't worry. I'm not, I'm not saying anything about Hoyer. It was just a moment, but it was quite funny. Or any of, or offies. I mean, she is Gail now. She's only gay for swing. She's a swing sexual. Okay. I'm sure there's plenty of boys. It's a whole new label. Straight for everyone but swing. Well, I mean, I just think that this was a beautiful red speech, but it was riddled with lies. Lies, I tell you. Like, Craig was a brilliant officer. He was delivered so well, but I'm glad I could call him a friend. Friend? No. You didn't call him a friend. You weren't friends. A colleague. Like, you were a barely colleague. Like, you didn't really think he was that great. We say it all the time, but how good is Vicky Miles at doing this, at acting? She's very good at this acting thing. She's got this acting thing now. Yeah. She's not too bad. Don't we're long for times like those again. And I didn't start out this journey with the lesbian detective. Meanwhile, plenty of fun was had. You can kind of maybe sort of understand why she left. Hang on. I'm doing it to help us all cope. Okay. Because this is a lot for us. During the week, it came to me. Are you excited about this? I mean, you kind of told me earlier in the week, but yeah. I know. I know that I told you, but you got to play with the sorry. No. We were playing. You could have pretended. You just left me hanging here. Oh, right. Yeah. Sorry. Take, take two. All right. Take two. All right. Let's go again. Yeah. Like, who are you thinking? Do you want to know? Do you want to know who is? Are you excited? AdjemyC. AdjemyC. So the kid's name is Bertie. Yeah. Bertie. Yes. Bertie. That's just Bertie. Yeah. Except God Daniel is a fucking no-pedizie. No, come on. All right. Let's move a bit. So you don't even know what a Bertie beetle is? No. And I actually don't care. What I want to talk about. What I actually want to talk about is the pro. All right. Sorry, guys. Sorry, guys. If anyone wants to know what a Bertie beetle is, you can have to do that yourself. Because I've done enough Googling on this shift. She doesn't want to know. She doesn't want me to tell you. I think I have feelings with that one. I'm just conscious of people's time here. So how are we so succinct? We never go off track. Sorry, guys. I'm out of character today. I should have just had an excuse. Like I always do. Let's just get to the bottom of it. Bertie beetle. No, actually I want a Bertie beetle. It's okay. Don't want the Fredo frog. Oh, it's a chocolate. Oh my god, it's really cute actually. I'm sorry. That is actually adorable. And it looks really good. So the only thing that I think of when he says Bertie is a Bertie beetle. That is fair. That is fair. Let's get it now. Okay. Anyway, moving on. Now that we all know that. I hope I have wasted anyone too much of your time with my Bertie. Bertie beetle track. Got nothing to do with anything at all. That was so fun. I tried to pull us back, but it didn't work this time. So I resist against that. If the more you try to back up. I know. I don't know how we've got into this dynamic. And when you say, here we are. I'd like to say, would you like to talk about it? No, I've got a whole thing to say. I'm neat. Yeah, I'm neat to seeing. There's reverse. I'm neat to see. There's reverse. I'm neat to see. I'm neat to see. I'm neat to see. I'm neat to see. I'm neat to see. There's reverse. I need to start applying with you. But now I've told you that it's not going to work. So. Exactly. Basically, the only other thing the development on Monday is that she is worried about Dylan. And she spoke to Sean. And that was all we really got on Monday. Oh, hang on. Didn't kick. Opened some. What did he open? He opened the bag of something for her. When she was a girl. Yeah. We scraped. We're scraping the barrel with this content. That was cute. That was cute. It was cute. Okay. Yeah. It was. When say. How do you attack? We're not even 10 minutes in. I'm under a month of fire from a content. What's happening? Like, have the roles reversed? I know, maybe. I'm just feeling a bit savage today. We'll have to turn this around. Hang on. What's going on? I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done like this. (laughs) I just wanted to see if he could handle it really. - Come on, I'm a little bit tired. I'm like, I'm on the back 40 here. I'm like, give me a second. Let me get better. (laughs) And you know what? People didn't want to hear about the biscuits. I was just being a bit. - I think they do. - I think they do. - I think they do. I was like, that was the fucking highlight of Monday for me. - I mean, we know how interested people got in puddings. So like, I'm sorry everyone. I'm sorry for. - I just think about the pudding. - People are still asking, what's your favorite pudding? - He gets on this call. He will, Rob wants a helicopter, cash, and some butterscotch angel delight. And this is when we get the, what's your favorite pudding question? And Carla doesn't know what Lisa's is. - Oh, but she does. (laughs) - Stop it. Oh God. - I will have to say. - Yeah. - And we know that you don't like pudding and I'm not being rude. - No. - Yeah. - Did you want to ask me that, did you want me to ask, do you want to ask the question? - Or would you say? - I just feel like I feel like it's a loaded question now and I'm just gonna move on to be honest. - Ali, what's your favorite pudding? (laughs) - Hate to break it to you. Not a big fair to put in. - I think mine's a profitor role. - Really? - In case anyone wants to know. - Okay. - Here you go. - I might change my mind on this. - Change is like the weather. - Are we saying what our favorite dessert is? - Yeah, we are. 'Cause people have asked us on Twitter. - Oh, I have a. - Oh, I didn't see that. - Well, I said I didn't see that. - I said I'd bring a pudding. - Well, pudding, I've never put in a dessert. - That's the same thing. That's what I mean. - No, it's not. No, it's not. - What's the difference? - Hang on. Hang on, hang on. Maybe this is a culture thing. - Yeah, this is a culture thing. - So, do you call pudding basically dessert? - Is dessert. - I would normally say dessert, but for me, it just means the same thing. - What? No, it doesn't. Pudding is pudding. - Okay, so literally only puddings. Yes. Okay, can we just. - What? - We're not gonna get through this episode. We've got so many. - I just mean in the board of cents. What's your favorite dessert? - Okay, but that's a different question. Hang on, so when he was asking what is your favorite pudding? He was asking what is your favorite dessert? - Correct. - So he didn't know that. I see the episode don't completely differently now. - Fine. I'm glad you've had this realization as we've been doing for. - But you legitimately just call dessert pudding. I don't understand this. - Yes. - Yeah, bunch of weirdos. Okay. (laughing) - So, can I, am I like to say what my favorite dessert is? - Yeah, but your earlier said you didn't like dessert. No, I said I don't like putting because I don't like putting.
Okay, got it. I can't go. You go and you can't back to this because now we know now anyone that listening from like I'm gonna take a tea break everyone I can't fucking do this anymore Ha ha ha ha I could do this all night Come on, then we'll see answer um well a Bertie beat him. No, it's not It's not a Bertie battle No, I do love a chocolate moose. I'm gonna go chocolate moose. Thank you. Oh actually That's such a good answer because I've normally got that in the fridge now. I think about it. Yeah, did answer I would like that to be the case because if he's going to work for For her there has to be a reason behind it and yeah I was gonna say this is a surprising move that they're taking Ryan out of the rovers I like I like that. I like that they're putting him with Debbie I like that they're referencing that relationship and I do I fucking look if it's so that he can catch out how oh How good's that I would love that my boy You're so convinced that you're really convinced Carl's gonna be bad in the end on you are you kidding me? Are you I'm just I'm holding out reasonable doubt. I don't know no reasonable so okay So he knows he finds out that he's he's a star has dementia right Where did they go? I'm getting sucked into his scenes yeah because they're so loving like he went to see her accountant With her he's not yeah, that's true. She doesn't need his help just yet. He It oh mate. I can't why am I even having to explain this Like he is so I'm obviously like you've just decided that he's rotten and I'm like are you sure are you sure? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I don't have to explain myself any further because I will take you back to the time where he met Abby in a car park She's my husband is being treated for cancer and then he hit on her More again and again and again she's he is a bad guy I'm she is encouraging him at the moment. She wasn't encouraging him there. He left it alone And she's the one I don't care if she stripped down naked in that car park She said my husband is getting treated for cancer. His next response should have been thank you for your help I'll see you later. Maybe bye Have a nice life. I hope your husband's okay Like I'm sorry. There is nothing nothing that makes what he did okay Have you got any other spoilers? So we've had a couple of lovely DMs on our new Instagram account Oh, mate you've been going that's on the old socials haven't you? Yeah, just stop and just try to get these a cram in and tick tock in and look at you go like you're a 14 year old girl I know it took me a long time, but I know that I Learned some things when I did a deep dive into Lisa Swain's closet not literally into her closet back We on a deep phrase I did I did her take a look at her wardrobe You're dead clothing her clothing. Yeah, and I was so I was surprised I'll be honest Yeah, but what we were sweaters. Well, I just assumed that she'd worn more tank tops than Than apparently she has Because I seem to feel like we see her in them all the time But not according to the research so I had look I'm the first one to admit when I'm wrong and I had got into my head that We she was basically wearing sweater best the whole last year like basically every day And when you suggested that it could have been seasonal I was like nah pretty sure we sat in her in them every day But I mean I did I did the research I went through all of the For those of you who haven't seen it I Went through and got every every every every outfit that Lisa has worn on every episode throughout the show since she arrived and One thing that was shocking her wardrobe. I mean not shocking probably You know Reasonable to think that her wardrobe was very limited up until 2024 like she didn't have many Clothes in the in the you know in the closet and then we hit 2024 Full-time character and then bam someone of the award-rump department had a good time shopping for swaying Because her her like at all the the jumpers The jumper count went out the sweater vest went from zero to 19 So 19 is the number of sweat of this that she Apparently says yep, so I look I was quite shocked by my results. I definitely thought she had worn a sweat of ester Wait or often then she did the 19 times And I was shocked by how many thin jumpers she has she has way more than I thought And some people enjoyed the inclusion of the hazmat suit. I mean Yeah, they did It was funny. I do want to you know, just mention the fact that I never actually said That that Lisa's way in war of Ignited vest a tank top Before she became a permanent character. I never insisted on that Okay, no you didn't believe you did you did you I did edit it How was on that look I will come to this I needed a way in and I'm ready to drive it But she came she's come clean so Well, let that go for the art you didn't argue with me though So you didn't agree with me, but you didn't argue the point you were like oh really? Actually, you probably you'd say if you say it But anyway, yeah, I hung out to drive but I had to because I had to start it somehow Yeah, I know, I know We'll let it pass just a small I appreciate you letting me do that. Yeah, thank you I mean, I don't think anyone is shocked to learn that I'm pretty difficult to keep on track But well, I wasn't off on random tangents. I was doing what I do best Defending one Lisa's lane Oh, people really start to they were starting to get you know pretty shitty with swaying at this point But I'm gonna again, I don't usually do this but I'm gonna come to her in advance. She doesn't normally do this Are we gonna get at least a swing being hospitalized? Look there are people online that have been saying Are they gonna because we had that many months ago back in the Joel story line when she said I'd take a bullet for Betsy Yeah, it's it finally happening. It's finally happening. I'm gonna I'm gonna need everyone to shut that talk down. Okay It's not funny Let's not tent fight. Lisa swinders not need to be shot. Okay. She really doesn't I mean if I think about all the things that happen to sway Of course, of course they're gonna shoot her. Yeah, has she not has she not been through? Has she not been through? Not been through enough people She got hit by a car. She's been Almost bloody killed by a mad man. She's been beaten up multiple times like what are she? Seriously, I really do think that I mean you're gonna shoot her You better give her the rest of the year on on the couch watching Netflix making out with a girlfriend I'm so I'm just saying because she's owned it just because like like you know life is about balance That's right. So she's got all the bad shit out of the way So the rest of this puppies and rainbows for the rest of the year okay? You know I've been very upset that that's he's had two birthdays and Lisa's had no birthdays Give the woman a day to birth for Christy come on. What are they doing now? Yeah, won't shock you But I really feel for Lisa here. I really do because I I think She okay her relationship with Betsy has been so broken for so long right yeah They're finally back on track and the way they got back on track was her being more understanding and more present right Yeah, giving Betsy more attention. Yeah, and Carla helped to do that and so They've got to this place now where they do have a better role even though Betsy's still misbehaving They are in a better place and I just I don't think I think she's terrified To To go back to the way things were before she doesn't and she thinks that if she's too harsh on her That that's what that she'll backslide and she'll stop talking to her And I think she does she doesn't want that to happen but also she's so guilty That she Wasn't there when she probably should have been directly when Becky died that She's pretty much just Every decision she's making with Betsy at the moment is is driven by guilt. I was kept that's exactly I was gonna talk about guilt I think that's one of her main um, I don't blame her. I get it. The line that surprised me was Lisa telling Betsy and you're not gonna need another mum And I was surprised that she said that to her. I don't know. Okay, so honestly, okay, so How long have they been together for Carla?
a runner-in-laser? Like, when did they get together just, um, November? So they've been together what? Not even six months, almost six months. Okay. Rewind six months. Um, what's her backup plan? If something happens, if she gets shot at work, what's the plan for Betsy? Who's looking after Betsy? There's got to be a plan. So what is it? Is it the art? Is it like, are we? They had to have been like, like, because Carla was in an option. So if something had happened and I can't believe that Lisa Swain, police detective who's lost a partner already on the job, doesn't have a backup plan for her 16, 17 year old daughter. If something happens to her. So what is it? That's a great question. I, I, I think she has got a plan because she seems like the kind of woman that would have a plan, especially in regards to her child. But like, so the alternative is that Lisa doesn't actually have a plan. Um, and she's sort of just assuming that she's going to be fine. I don't think, no, I don't think that she would do that. I can't. Too reckless. She, she's too smart for that. You can't. Okay. I mean, I, I, not that I have, I don't have, I don't have children. I've never had children, but I have, I had a dog and I'll tell you what, I fucking had a plan and something happened to me. The dog was going to be okay. So I can't imagine that Lisa's way would not have a plan for her daughter. If I'm going to plan for my dog, she's going to plan for her daughter. I don't usually come to Lisa Swain's defense, but I will here for never. It's very rare. I know, right? Because she does not cover this up. This is not a cover up. She calls his bluff because when he says, oh, you're going to cover it up, she then goes, no, I didn't say that because she didn't say that. She said, if you would like to make a complaint, you'll have to come down to the station, but you're going to have to provide some proof or it'll be your word against his. Like she's tired of the facts. So how many everyone just lie off her? She's not in the wrong. She was just sassing him. She was being smart. Well, what do you guys have? There's, there's pace of shit. Like we don't even need to do a DNA test because we know he clearly is a little kid. Yeah, he's an angry little kid and kid. He's a little kid. Oh, sorry. Kid and kid has the same meaning in my brain. We can call him kid. And if you like, that has a different meaning. I'm going to, I'm going to move us on really quickly. And this is when we get that scene about the dinner when Carlos made a special effort. And Lisa's, Lisa's a bit tricky here. She says, I wish you'd have passed. I'm not that hungry. Carlos trying to be nice and say, you need something to keep your strength up. If she wants me nice, she should have proposed. Oh, yeah, maybe that would have been the perfect night to do it when Lisa's in a total mood. And then Lisa's so defensive, because she turns it into an argument, even when Carlos just saying, yeah, like being nice about tomorrow. And she goes on the attack and says that Carla did this to make herself feel better. And so she could feel like she'd done something. And then this, this is when Carla gets, she kicks back. She's like, whoa, hang on a minute. And I actually, I love that she stood up for herself because yeah, the way he was coming at her, like she's not a doormat as everyone likes to say when when Lisa is being a little bit snappy. Let's, let's forget all of the times that she was genuinely treated like shit by the pieces of shit that she was married to in form, you know, in former marriages. You really want me to make a list of all of their things that they've wronged her with against a couple of snappy remarks from Swain. Like, I don't understand how she, I mean, I do understand why she cops it more than anyone else, but it's not fair because like legitimately, people are like, oh, Carla needs to get rid because she's snappy because her fucking colleague died. Like, people, people suck. So, Carla's like saying, I know your stress, but I've had a tough day too. And I'm showing up for you. And then Lisa says, yeah, by giving me support, I didn't ask for, well, that's bang out of order. Why are you getting so nasty? No, no, I'm not, I'm not trying to be mean. All right, I told you to leave it and I'm fine. I am. I'm not buying it. And then Lisa goes for a walk, leaving that beautiful dinner behind. She didn't go for, she didn't run. She just went for a walk. We're making progress. I mean, you know, you can't, it can't all be giant leaps forward. Sometimes there's a couple of steps backwards, but um, look, what do you want me to say? What do you want me to say? I'll build a window if I had to. I just think, I think Lisa was being a bit shit here. I'm really doing. She wasn't, like, she, look, yeah, look, she's being really snappy because she's hurt. She's in the middle of a fucking mental breakdown. We know this. If someone made me a four-course meal, after I came home from work when I was having a bad day, I think I'd be grateful to be honest. Yeah, but that's if you, maybe you, if you're not hungry, Lisa actually stands Karl or up at the viewing. You know, you, you said you were going to defend Lisa. So, now's the time. My cape is on. I'm ready to go. You ready? I'll be going off your pop. Come on, really? You know she's struggling. Her mental health is in a free fall, mate. She free falls. That's a good word. Brody comes in, causes a load of trouble because he knocks Daniels drink over and they, they have words. This piece of shit. This here we go. Piece of shit. I hate him. I hate him so much. I hate him more than I hate kid. And I hate kid a lot. Brody's worse. Brody is fucking worse. He makes me so fucking angry. Oh, is he the worst? He's the fucking worst. I feel like I hate kid more than Brody. So we're in different places, but I get you. He is very annoying. He's a fucking shit. No, you know what's, you know what really, you know what really gets me about him is constant. You're calling everyone dead. You're bit. You're bit. You're fucked. Fuck off. Fuck off. You are a fucking shit who should go back to prison. Back to the STC. Yep. He should be more. Anyway, let's move on. Lisa is about as angry with Brody as you are because she told him that he needs to apologize. And he offers himself up to be arrested by her, which was quite. He was being an absolute fucking shit. That's what he was doing. He was being, oh, do you know what? And you think that I can't defend you here, but I fucking can because at that point, he was just being an absolute cocky shit. He really was and he say Lisa said, do you want me to get my cuffs out? Let's take a look. Who would you want to get that out? And all of a sudden it was a line out the door of Royce. We were all just sat at home going, um, yes, yes please. What do I have to do? I'm just not just not a coffee over at on Daniel. I wouldn't do that anyway. I know that she says she was wrong here, but she wasn't. Once he says, it's kind of what makes copies and popular love. I get some hurt. Oh yeah, he crossed the line there. Yeah. So she wasn't wrong. Like at that at this point, it was a bit of a standoff. He crossed the line, but she didn't. She was in her full right to arrest him. And I will, I will not back down on that. He threatened her. I get you. Like I feel like she was initially a bit over the top about the Daniel situation, but then it became then it became about her and her and Brody. So hang on, this fuck wit comes into a cafe starts knocking coffee over on people, right? He was like, that's not okay. He was reaching the piece, wasn't he? He was. And I'm sure Nina didn't want him there. Like he he was out of control. So he did need to be dealt with. Daniel didn't help the situation because he got bullied and then he stuck up for the bully. Yes, but like he got bullied by a kid. Right. And then he goes, oh, so we're better do this. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. Like grow a set mate. Like I he I was so furious at the fact that she came in to help him. And he fucking threw her under the bus. He is an absolute fucking piece of shit. Perfect. So Lisa brings Brody to the station and again, he's saying it's harassment. And this is when she finds drugs on him. The only thing that this kid can say is you're corrupt. You're bent. You're corrupt. You're bent. I can't stand it. Somebody needs to fucking knock the shit out of him. Dylan, where's Dylan? We're still in the middle of the night.
You need me, don't want, I've even get him to do it again. Tough man, Dylan, or sort it out, yeah. This kid, this fucking little shit needs dealing with, I'm sorry, I can't handle him. If I, if I, if I, if I, I would have arrested so many times. He's protesting in his cell and he calls her a mad cow. Benz corrupt. This is no, none of this is okay and none of this is her fault. If you've got actual medication that you need to take, you don't take it out of its packaging and put it in a little tin. That just immediately makes it look like recreate. It does, like traditional trucks. And then he refused to tell them what it was. How is, how is any of this her fault? This, I actually never said it was because I don't think it was her fault. I think it was just, he was so evasive and tricky. But also, even, no, but you know what, real, we'll get to it in a minute. But what really should me was that this lying piece of shit who has been in and out of prison, whose parents are shit heads as well. I mean, we love Lou, but still she lies to that, you know. And all he does is throw accusations at coppers all day long, but we're going to believe him over Lisa's way. This made me want to vomit. Well, the person that, the person that, well, we will get to this, but we'll just do it now. The person that believed him over Lisa was hit. And, and Costello. Yeah. And, and, and fucking acceptable. It's got to the point where it's infuriating to watch. He is, it's probably because it's actually really real. But this kind of misogyny is just, it's fucking disgusting. And I can't stand it. And I hate him. And I hate Costello. And I hate him up like I just, I hate Brody. I hate them all. Like she is better than all of them. She's more honest than all of them. Most of the time. She's a bit like she, she, she's a far more honorable cop than any of them. And the questioning her over this and believing a piece of shit, scumbag kid, who they have witnessed lying all the time. Are you serious? Are we supposed to believe it? No. This, this episode sucked. Yes. It certainly did. But in happier, in her, maybe happier, a happier moment was watching Lisa hit the door and telling him to shut up. Oh, that was hot. And it was like she was, did you think she was trying to impress that female god? That was impressive. No, I didn't. Because I was like, all right Lisa, we know you're tough. Carla comes home and Lisa offers to make her tea. She looks like she's been crying. Yeah, she does look like she's crying. And Carla wants to know what's wrong and then Lisa explains about the Brody situation. And it's really sweet because Carla comforts her within embrace and Lisa's worrying that she could get suspended over this. Carla thinks it won't come to that. And this is when Lisa admits that she's lost it. Which is why she arrested Brody in the first place and she's really upset. Hmm. This isn't, not great. Not great for a while. It's supposed to be angry too because she, yeah, okay, she may have overreacted and it, well no. No, I'm sorry, no. This kid came in and he was, what was he doing? He was menacing the calf. He was menacing the cafe and the occupants. Is that okay? Should he have just been left to terrorise the neighbourhood? Certainly not. But what do they expect, what do they expect her to do? Is he allowed to just go and throw coffee on people? No. Is that, is that, is that a, is that a town that you want to live in? I do want to live in where they're feeling. I know that. That's for my own personal reasons. I know in comparison to like, I know he didn't murder a guy, but do you want to live in a world where people can just throw hot coffee on people? Because he wants to? No, I don't. He's a man. He needs to be stuck. Lisa Swain's a hero. God damn it. She's a fucking hero. Get that woman a medal for. Get her a medal. Coffee's. Get her a little bit of kissy. Come on, Carla. Cheer up. Okay. This won't shock you. Got a lot of stuff to say. You go for it. Okay. See you there's a thing. Lisa Swain copped, crap from her daughter when she went in to save Carla because she put herself in danger. You want about the rope, the rope situation? Yeah. So she cops crap when she goes in to be a hero and now she cops crap for not running after a dude with a wrench when she's off duty. What the fuck? She can't win. Can she? Here's the situation. Obviously they're unsuspecting, not prepared for this. He's prepared to fight his way out of any situation if he is approached. He's running away. He has a weapon. He's only a danger to anyone who tries to stop him from getting away. No one else is in danger. Why would you chase him? Yeah. You wouldn't. She shouldn't. I'd get you. But for her she behaved in a way that was so unsuain and everyone noticed basically. Yeah but guess what would have happened if she had chased him and fucking arrested him? She would be in trouble for arresting priority. Yeah. Like she would have probably gotten in trouble because he'd color a corrupt cop and she'd get in trouble. Or she'd get caught. Or she'd get caught. Seriously injured if he attacked her. But basically no matter what she does she's getting shit from people. No wonder she's having a mental breakdown. I think she did the right thing on the secade. Yeah. I mean she did freeze and that upsets her but she shouldn't have chased him even if she didn't free. Like it was not ideal to chase him. Let him go. He wasn't a danger to anyone unless he was approached and someone trying to stop him from getting away then someone would have got hurt. Why is everyone telling her to chase him down? I think they're just so used to her going into hero mode. They aren't used to her being a stand-by. How about stop giving her shit and maybe she'll keep being least swayed. But everyone's on her case and she's second guessing herself. I don't think she's got problems. I think everyone else has got problems with her. That's the problem. That is quite a sentence. I mean I think Lisa does have some problems but. Maybe a few but you know what I'm saying. I do. I just feel like no matter what she does she's. She can't win. She can't win and it's really. I'm frustrated. I'm sure I'm not the only one. You're not. Back at. I'm always saying this. Back at the flats. Moving us on. Moving us on. Moving us on without saying it. Maybe we can hire the audio woman to move us on. Yeah, can she say? Just introduce the scene. Lisa Swain is running. Lisa Swain is staring into mid-distance. Carla Conner is twiddling her girlfriend here. And again I go back to the. I get it and I can forgive Lisa for being depressed in this moment. But you know who's not going to? General audience. They're just going to say Lisa Swain's a bitch. And I hate that. They're going to feel sorry for Carla. Yeah, like in a way you could argue, well. Carla knew Lisa wasn't in a good place. Was it really the time to be doing bidding wars on houses and stuff? You know? There's many ways of looking at this. And to be fair, Carla's concerned is Lisa here. Yeah. Like she's not concerned. Like she's concerned about Lisa. She's not concerned. Like, yeah, I just. You just know what the audience is like and I just. I worry. That's all. Yeah, you worry about how Swain is going to be perceived. Yeah, because it just means I'm going to have to find Carla. You're worrying already about the Reddit comment wars that you're going to be in. You know what they're going to say. I do. The way that got left on Wednesday I was thinking, hmm, is Lisa going to sleep on the sofa tonight? Wow. Wow. We did. When there were some spoilers during before Friday's episode that it had us kind of maybe believing that she might have been on the. Oh, is this to do with Chloe Tim? Yeah. Some Twitter and her. So there was this, obviously this talk of Lisa's bed hair. And so we all kind of like, she's assumed, well, she's probably sleeping on the couch because Carla won't let her in the bedroom. But boy, were we wrong. We were really wrong. Coming into Friday. We had that morning scene at the flat. I did not see this coming. This caught me off guard. I thought there'd be a new, I could really bad mood with each other. And this is where I say. So wrong. This is where I, I double down on my. The guild goes both ways with Lisa's wine. She made it up to Carla. That's for sure. Yeah. She, when she overcomplicates Tabitsi, she does the same for Carla, alright? So. Yeah, I could have milked that. She's eating her breakfast and working on her laptop. She's having a great breakfast. She's having a great start. I'm gonna go and start the day. Oh, they already had a great stun. Have a day. (laughs)
And while I defend lesbian later to the end of the year, it does not make that I have forgotten about the original cobbles lesbian. So if you webster, let's move on to your favourite segment. What? Webster watch. Oh fuck, play the thing. It's webster watch! Where is he? Oh look at this state of that. What have you done? What a swather. What are you saying? What would Jesus say? Hey babe. Or knock yourself out with a him book. Do you want to cause time? You're mint. Sofe. I am not tarting. My daughter's a lesbian. Shut it you. Oh, balding. Are we about to jokey? You! Stop winding it up. Sofe! Roses get up me! You stupid fellow! Hi! We have had some serious whispering about the return of Sophie Webster. My daughter. And I feel like Ali manifested this because she's been begging on about this for months. Well there was an article that came out during the week that said you know wouldn't roll it out. It would absolutely be up for a return after you know. I think she's been gone for six years now which went quickly. I'm really hoping that she's meeting with Kate and they're bringing her on board. She's coming back. Because your dad's going through it man. You've got to come back. Cream okay? I have a theory that Sophie Webster is going to be going through. She's going to have a really really really bad crush on Lisa Swade. Oh who wouldn't? I mean she's only human. She's only human. One of our old episodes. You suggest that Sophie Webster may come back and steal the first. Like let's be in wedding. Yeah, controversially. I'm going to stick by it. I think she's putting the groundwork. I do think that she has a case for her. I'm sorry. She's been on that show for so long. She's had so many relationships. She almost had the first wedding. But no, she had to be tempted. She had to be tempted by devs, illegitimate daughter. Come on Sophie, you're better than that. And we look into the fact that Brawke Benson, Ezek Holsen's leaving do. And is she coming back to curry any time soon? I'd like to think yes. Back for good and the words of tape. Come on, come on Brooke. Come on. And you know, I've made I've made the sting. We'll play it. We will do this every week. That's not an empty thread. I will do it. It'll get annoying. It will get really boring. But we will do it until you know back. We will be consistent because you're going to hear that sting. Even if we've got apps and you know news on the web. No, I will spot play it. And I'll say, nope. Nothing yet. And then we'll move on. Do you think there's any chance of fame? No, I don't. I think there's zero chance of fame coming back. Well, at least we had a little, we had a little something there, didn't we? Oh, but Sophie's definitely coming back. I'm not even, I'm going to stick with this delusion as long as it will. Yeah. So if, if swallow and moving next door to Sam. Maybe Sophie will be there, brides me. Look, we can only hope. Can you imagine? I could imagine. Yeah, I could. I've all got to become friends. I don't think that's going to happen. But I'm just, I'm still flawed that we are this far down the road in the Webster, in their Kevin storyline and the daughter of that haven't come back. Yeah, that is a really good point. The fact that Kevin has got cancer and still neither of the girls have actually been back. So, kind of says it all at the moment, I'm afraid. Don't be so negative. Don't be, you feel like you've given up. But no, I'm not giving up. She just wants me to stop. I'm not feeling like that optimistic about it. I've got to be honest. You wanted me to, she actually actually implored me to end this segment last week. I refused. Don't lie, don't lie to me. You said, I think you said, do you think you should end this segment? Have you stopped doing it? Did I? You did. You did. And I said never, never! And boy, have we loved hearing from you. Oh yeah, we've got to do feedback. Yes, how could we? Shall I start? You shall. Look at me, big. I'm being eager. Look at you, jump at you. Okay, so I've got, I've got a really lovely tweet. This is from @outdoorb. Thanks for taking up the challenge to make this podcast. I listened to Conversation Street as well, but also felt the lack of Swala content. I mentioned it a couple of times in Autumn that a Swala podcast would be so cool. So thank you to you for filling this void. Thank you. Happy to do that. Who was that from? It was from Justa B or @outdoorb. Thank you for your, that was a really lovely message. And it was also like, exactly, you're in the same position that I was in. And I just wanted to listen to some people talking about Swala. That's all I wanted. And I didn't want to be here making it. I thought that was a lot of hard work. But I'm glad we kind of did because I'm having fun there. We also got a lovely email this week. So this is from Christina. She's in New Zealand. And she says, "Kia ora from a straight bird, souls." Oh, honestly, you don't need to apologise to us for being straight. It's okay. And she's in Alta Rua. Is that how I'd say it correctly? New Zealand, yes. So she says, "I've never written to a podcast." I say it like I've been there. I just want to show it on the straight. That's the extent of my feelings. Christina, I've never written to a podcast, but I wanted to let you know how brilliant, hilarious, insightful yours is. I was absolutely dying when you were discussing the double-hand hold. What even was that? She understands you, Ellie. Yes. I've been fully on board the Swala ship since randomly seeing the moment episode last year, and was blown away with Carla and Lisa's chemistry. And the fact that it's just so real and believable. It's also refreshing to see a relationship or trade where they show each other such kindness, respect, softness, love. And still be constantly giving each other shit. Yes! The cuteness is off. Yes! The cuteness. I don't know. The cuteness is off the scale. Anyways, love your work. Burn the brown sweat of us and bring back pink pastures for Lisa. No! And then Christina writes in Maori, and I don't know if I can pronounce it, but thank you. Oh, Christina, if you win a straight bird, I tell you what, I'll be packing my bags for New Zealand right now. She gets me. She really does. Burn that bit. I mean, I'm not allowed. I'm glad you said it because I'm not allowed to say it anymore. So thank you. This was an exceptional episode. And she said a few things to mention. Ellie is absolutely a hundred percent on point. Read the brown sweater. It's a definite no-no. She can no longer say it, but I can. Burn it and raise it from our memories. So she gets it. Thank you, Sam. I mean, I'm not sure if this is feedback. But it's, you know, I'm reading it out anyway. And I'll allow it. Bobby being called a turd on a podcast and kept stretch Armstrong nearly spacked my teeth out. I didn't honestly realise that Corey had such a global audience. I was totally ignorant of this fact, and I think Swallow, the power of Swallow, and I'm not on about some on a ball of show. Hey, hey, we've got, we've got some pull as well. The power of a swallow ship has resonated across the globe. With the barnacles on the bottom of that ship along for the ride. Basically, that's just a bit. So we have to know, we have to know our place in this ecosystem. Yeah, yeah, suck it on the bottom of the boat. Now, look, I address this on Twitter during the week, but I feel like I need to, I need to cop to it like in the public arena here, and I will. I will, because I was wrong. You know how I was appalled at Lisa making Shaq Shuka, and I, I, I, I, I claimed that it's not a thing in Melbourne. And I may have been at work the other day and asked my friend about it. And it wasn't what she said that made me feel stupid. It was the look that she gave me that made me feel like a fucking idiot. She didn't say anything. She didn't, she didn't, she, yeah, no. It's definitely a thing. It's on all menus. And I even Googled top 10 Shaq Shuka in Melbourne. Two of them are right down the road and one's right next to my work. So I have no excuse. I was wrong. Sorry, Jules. Sorry, Jules. I was, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just sorry. I was wrong. No idea what I'm talking about. Julia, Julia, WDHS. It was a pleasure to listen to the new episode. And as a member of the law enforcement myself, I absolutely love, I absolutely love the idea of a lesbian law enforcement network group chat. We need this immediately. Julia, I'm gonna add you to the group chat. Don't worry about that. I'll get you in there. We'll add you. We'll add you. Pedestrian at best said to us that
I look forward to falling asleep to your dulcet tones. I'm not sure we're dulcet, but. *laughs* Listen, I've listened to myself back and I wouldn't. How could you fall asleep to me? I'm a lot. *laughs* Wake up! Wake up to her! Don't fall asleep to her! Go to the gym with her! Go nuts to her! No, no! *laughs* Maybe you can fall asleep to this, I don't know. I don't know. Turn us down though. It's okay, but maybe, maybe they find a lesbian rage rant quite relaxing to fall asleep to. I mean, it's not a thing. Some people have wails and, you know, ocean sounds. Betsy Swae? Ryan? Um, um, um, pedestrian at best? Just rage and rant from rage and lesions? Why not? At Chris Horrick's 31, he said, "Swahal and Asian Street Stories that go off on tangents, numerous f-boms, "Shawli Ali Mack should be renamed Billy Connelly." *laughs* Are these things very good? Yeah. He's not. um, yep. Very true. Sweet Kerry answer turns out I can't do two rhyming reviews in one week on no sleep and a dodgy liver, but can still highly recommend this app. A.K.A. Shaggate is what she's calling it. Look out for Defcon 1 for the Swain Defender, a bitchy Betsy take Ali coming for Carl and no fox given about Kyrgyz's backstory. Do you remember a couple of weeks ago I read an Instagram message that we got from somebody called Hannah, um, and she talked about, um, yeah, her wife. Yeah. So, her wife is how she sent us a message. *laughs* Is this the same person that I said she should leave her wife if she's just doing that? Yes, yes! *laughs* Am I doing it all right? So, yeah. She said, "Hi guys, you recently read our message from my wife, Hannah. When she disclosed I didn't really get her obsession. You suggested she divorced me." Whilst this would genuinely be a delight some days, *laughs* I have grown rather fond of her over the past 12 years. What Hannah failed to mention is that it was me who planned and booked her trip to Coronation Street that led to her meeting Vicki. Oh, wow! I've been supportive of her running away to live her dreams and even offered to pack her bags for her and drive her back to Manchester. On her 14th birthday, I went out to breakfast. This is where it gets really good. I went out to breakfast wearing a mask of Vicki's face. *laughs* *laughs* Doesn't get much more supportive than that. What is her last name? "Aye, why?" Gemma. Gemma. "Ah, what a trooper." She said, "Thanks for making my wife so happy. And can you please tell her to finish her run and come home now so I can have a break from these kids?" "Oh, my Helen, as she's thrown her under the bus, Gemma says, delightful. I'm with you, Gemma. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I did tell her that she should leave you, but I didn't know your son's story and I'm now on my your side. I'm absolutely, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm suggested it. I'm glad you put a ring on it, that's what I think. Gemma, yeah, you sound. She should appreciate what she has at home. Finish your run girl, get home! Oh, that did make me laugh. Love seriously though, love to both of you. You sound like marriage goals, I'm not being funny, but you really do. Yeah. I'm actually really relieved that we've heard from Beverly again. Oh, oh, Beverly! Beverly, I haven't had chance to email you back yet and I was actually genuinely worried that we might have offended you with our terrible banter. They're there, but you have a come back strong with this email. This made me laugh so much, you were really funny. I've really buried with this because you know I was really worried that I'd gone too far and I'd offended Beverly because I really enjoyed her email the last time she. Well, I hope you're going to enjoy this one as well. All right, Will. So, it begins. Hello to the lesbian detective and her secretary. Oh, Beverly, you. For real? She keeps you. She keeps you little me. I appreciate it. Okay, I'll tell you that. I'll tell you that. To start on a serious note, I wanted to say I was sorry to hear about the mugging and phone being stolen and I hope you are recovering well. Thank you. With this in mind, I was then surprised when Lisa Swain referenced bone crime in Friday's episode and it made me think that Cory must be listening to the pod as they should be. Well, Beverly, unfortunately. I think this might have already been in the can when this. Have a bit of this freaky. It's very freaky that it. They feel a bit further ahead. But I certainly was like. But that's what. What is going on here? It's not really. No, they want to snuck it in at the last minute. Maybe. Maybe they want to go. We're going to get this little Easter egg in for the Sparlet ocean fans, yeah. If only. Yeah. I'm so relieved to know the jewel can't go ahead due to Ellie's poor upper body strength. Oh, cool. I recently pulled a back muscle. Very Beverly. After turning around. So funny. Oh, that's really unfortunate, isn't it? Oh, my god. Stop laughing at me, this voice. I think. Oh, got a really halfway. I think due to a bad case of the late 30s. Oh, god, he got to get worse for me a bit. With these worrying levels of body strength, I think the fan club route is the way to go. And it's more in keeping with the Swarlet community vibes. That's true. Get your T-shirt. Get your T-shirt on order in QuickBest. Sadly, after the recent Swarlet drought, this week's Swarlet content with Betsy has been frustrating. I agree with your points about Betsy's vulnerable side, but the repeated pattern of Betsy doing something wrong and Lisa not putting in consequences is becoming a bit tiresome. I hope this is building to change the dynamics between Lisa and Betsy, but right now, Carla has the patience of a saint. She does. She does. Agreed. The level of detail about Lisa starting to wear the sweater vest only when she was made a permanent character is why this podcast is great. Thank you, Ben. Thank you. That is Ali. That is thanks, Ali. Her sweater vest fascination, even though she apparently hates them. No, it was an observation. That's all. You get an observation that I need you to prove. Because you challenged me. That's true. I hope they gave Vicki Myers a sweater vest to take home when she signed the permanent contract. And if they didn't, they should now at least. They threw that in just to seal the deal. Yes, Vicki, which one do you want? Not the brown one, she said. I disagreed with the negative feedback about the pod. And it is clearly someone just not able to understand your brilliance. Wow. Thank you. Thank you. They must have never felt the complete joy when Ali says, "How fucking dare he?" To be fair, I think perhaps you should say that line right now, not me. How fucking dare they? There you go. How dare they? I'm actually really glad that you enjoy that. Because sometimes when I start and I hear myself I'm like, "Oh, here I go again, people, we're just going to turn off." But I'm going to know that not everyone is yet. Beverly feels complete joy. And before she hears you say that, she knows there's a ramp coming. And she actually feels sorry for people who don't feel the same way. I also disagree with the feedback about not keeping on track. I think you guys stay on subject for at least three seconds at a time. Thank you, Beverly. Thank you. My apologies. My apologies for the delay in responding. I've been busy refreshing only fans in anticipation. Oh, my fear. I might have sent people on a wild goose chase you. I'm so glad. Beth is actually responded with the level of sarcasm that my email reading out deserved is great. Thank you, Beverly. Thanks for all the work you put in for the port. Bev in the UK. If that's relevant information and it is. Thank you, Beverly. The title of that email was Fanmail. Fanmail. Thank you, Beverly. That was great. I was so worried that we'd offended you and you would never going to come back. But thank you. Honestly, when I read that for the first time, I did crack up. It's so funny. It's very funny. And to wrap up today.
We are going to give some love to Ali Mack because pedestrian at best said something very lovely on Twitter. She said, "I know that lesbian detectors voice has a fan club, but I feel there needs to be much more appreciation shown for Ali Mack's laugh." That is adorable. Yeah it does. We do need to show some appreciation. Thank you. Ali does laugh. She laughs well and she laughs a lot. I wonder what inspired that particular tweet? Were you laughing about something? Were you laughing about a tweet that the pedestrian at best wrote? Didn't you crack up about a tweet that they wrote? There was one. Yeah. There was one that I was laughing at about if she was being mentored, maybe Becky's just waiting for the mentoring to begin. That was very fun. That name, but that's when you lost it. Your laugh was like, yeah I think so. I think I was just kind of like, I almost had to wait for you to finish having your laugh because it went on. It was a thing of wonder. Yeah. Honestly, nothing feels better than a good laugh. Let's face it. We've had a few of the last couple of weeks too because we were, yeah. We have, oh my god, we really have. There's been a few moments. Yeah. I think Connoissewains has actually put sent me a muttley gift. Just where I'm wheezing because you know my how muttley laughs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Eddie's how I think so. I think it definitely in your laugh thank club. We definitely have pedestrian at best. We have the Connoissewains. I mean, it doesn't rival the lesbian detective's voice fan club, but you know I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I think it's on a par. Okay. Yeah. I mean, do I need t-shirts made up? Not yet. Not yet. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. So let's enjoy that. Enjoy that love for your laugh. Stop it. It's that a ruffler. Lovely Beth who is our regular listener said, IDT people. What does that mean? Sorry. I don't think. There we go. People realise how surprising and refreshing don't laugh at me. People realise how surprising and refreshing it was to not have swallah born out of an affair. To not have a man in their vicinity. To not have color being extremely uncomfortable at the idea of being with a woman. Not only is that rare in soap, but rare in the media in general. And I think for this, I guess what she's saying, I don't think that's connected with the awards, but I pulled it out because it's another reason why they probably should get this award. The Conor Swains wrote some incredible tweets this week about color and thesis relationship. ITV took what, Corey took one of its most iconic and beloved characters in color, Connor and said, do you know what she really needs? The most supportive, loving, healthy, women, loving women relationship and family she's always deserved. What a time to be alive. And it's just on that representation hashtag. I don't know how old Conor Swains is, but we never had this. We never had this. This is huge. And anyone that's taking it lightly, just don't. Because this isn't the usual. This is quite extraordinary. The quality and the way it's been handled, you know, the quality of the acting, the quality of the writing, all of that stuff mixed in with, you know, the actors that care about it and people that care about it and everyone that's picked it up and rolled with it and it's become this huge thing and there is a reason for that. It's because it's extraordinary. It's amazing and we are lucky to be experiencing it in our lifetime. Because a lot of people haven't. Honestly, that is an amazing speech in itself. Well, there you go. I hope that was a more enjoyable ride than Corey is at the moment. I know that it's not my best effort, but hey, it's better than bringing someone back from the dead. Right. So thank you for listening. Thank you for your support and Merry fucking Christmas. If Lisa Swains doesn't make it, I'm not coming back next week. I'm just going to put that out there. Well, if Lisa Swains doesn't make it, the podcast dies. So I think that on that note, it's a good turn. No, Debbie, Debbie, you heard that right? Our fate is in your ham steps. Interview terminates it. Feel like that's the perfect note to end on, Ellie. I think so. Do you like, would you like to end the interview? I interviewed terminates it at 15. You're like, fuck, yes. I wanted to end it at an hour and I thought, would you just shut up my head, I'm sick. Good night. I'm in the short of you. What she said. Finally, you go now. Is this going to take long? He'll take as long as it takes. You need to let it go. Wait there. Let me find the key. You're free to go. Why? Because I'm a supervising officer and I say so.
Podcast Summary
Key Points:
- The speakers discuss a "best of" compilation episode for the holiday season, acknowledging a lack of new content.
- They analyze a kidnapping plot involving characters Lisa Swain and Carla, with debates about Lisa’s choices and a bulletproof vest theory.
- There is extensive commentary on character Bobby, deemed unlikable and predicted to redeem himself by saving Lisa.
- A running joke about a "wizard baby" (referring to character Gary) and graffiti provides comedic relief.
- The hosts critique Lisa’s brown sweater vest, sparking a debate about its aesthetic.
- They reminisce about past episodes, including a wake for Craig Tinker and a scene of Lisa and Carla jogging.
- Speculation arises about potential pregnancies in another soap opera (Emmerdale) and possible returns of characters like Kim Wallace.
Summary:
The transcription features a casual, humorous podcast discussion centered on a soap opera, likely *Coronation Street*. The hosts, reacting to a "best of" episode due to a lack of new material, dive into recent plotlines. Key story points include a kidnapping scenario where Lisa Swain and Carla are in danger, with the hosts critiquing Lisa’s impulsive actions and debating whether she wore a bulletproof vest.
Character Bobby is heavily criticized for being unlikable and untrustworthy, with predictions he might sacrifice himself to save Lisa, a notion one host resists. Comedic elements include the "wizard baby" joke about Gary and a graffiti gag. The hosts also analyze wardrobe choices, particularly a controversial brown sweater vest worn by Lisa, sparking a lighthearted disagreement.
They recall a previous episode featuring a wake for Craig Tinker and a jogging scene between Lisa and Carla, praising the audio description narrator. Additionally, they speculate about character pregnancies in *Emmerdale* and the potential return of lawyer Kim Wallace as Lisa’s friend. The conversation blends plot analysis, character critique, and playful banter, reflecting a fandom’s engagement with serialized drama.
FAQs
The hosts debate Lisa Swain's brown sweater vest, with one hating it and calling it hideous, while the other defends it, suggesting it looks good on her. They ask listeners for feedback to settle the debate.
They speculate Bobby could become embroiled in a robbery drama and end up in prison, though one host fears he might instead redeem himself by saving Lisa Swain's life.
The hosts joke about a graffiti wall reading 'wizard baby,' which they use as a humorous nickname for characters like Gary and as a running gag about a confusing plot point.
They are thrilled, calling it a 'sexy jog' and praising the show for starting with Lisa and Carla jogging together, which they find adorable and a great way to kick off an episode.
One host suggests Kim Wallace, a lawyer, could be Lisa's friend, noting her sophistication and past interactions with Lisa. The other is skeptical but finds the idea plausible.
They describe the wallpaper as the most depressing thing in the episode, even more than the kidnappings and injuries, calling it 'fucking wallpaper' that sends them into a deep depression.
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