WWDTM: Lucy Dacus

Hey it's Peter Segal, before we start today's show, I want to take a second of your time to talk about public media, you know, basically this. Public media was founded to inform, to expand your perspective, to enrich your understanding and over its decades-long history. Eventually it became also a format for, well, fart jokes. But we still believe, in the mission of public media at NPR, we always will. But as of this fall, all federal funding for public media, including NPR and local NPR stations, including yours, has been eliminated. So we need your support to keep bringing you weight-weight and the segments you love, like Bluff the Listener and Who's Bill, this time our weekly panel of comedians and of course our special guests, all of whom we try to get to say things they aren't able to say anyplace else. So help us bring you more surprising moments and comedy and laughter and perspectives and yes, fart jokes in 2026 because you can't have enough of any of those in your life. Thank you if you already go the extra mile as an NPR plus supporter. If not, you can join the plus community. Get a bunch of perks like bonus episodes and more from across NPR podcasts and support public media by signing up for NPR Plus today. Go to plus dot NPR dot org. From NPR and WB ZChicago, this is Weight, Weight, Don't Tell Me, The NPR News Quiz, I'm Al Goh Slade. The guy they bring in when it's too windy for Bill Curtis to land his jet pack. And here's your host at the Studebaker Theatre and the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Segal. Thank you, Alzo. Thank you so much. Thank you everybody. Yeah, later on. We do have a great show. I'm just as excited. Later on, we're going to be talking to the singer, songwriter Lucy Dekas, who is also part of the Grammy-winning supergroup, Boy Genius, Arguable. Yes. Get excited. Boy Genius is arguably the most successful musical act ever named after Young Sheldon. Once we want to test your IQ, give us a call. The number is 1-triple-late, weight weight, that's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant this week. How are you around? Weight, don't tell me. Hi, this is Blake, calling from Long Island, New York. Long Island. What do you do there in Long Island? I'm an assistant district attorney specializing in financial crimes, but right now I'm on maternity leave with my first baby. Oh my gosh. I'm thinking about this. I wonder if your skills as a district attorney, a prosecutor, will be of any use as a mother. Maybe once he can start negotiating back. Exactly. Right now I'm just in a hostage situation. Well, welcome to the show, Blyde. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. Next up, a comedian whose new special "UnAmerican" is available now on Amazon, Apple TV and streaming services everywhere. It's our friend, Adam Burke. Hi. Adam. Hello. Next, the host of the trivia show, Go Factor Yourself. Fallen Select NPR station should also be at Emerald City, Seattle on December 19th. It's Helen Hall. Hello. Hi. Hello, everybody. And a humorous woodworker whose new podcast The Bodet Problem debuts soon. Listen to the pilot episode at hatchspace.org. It's Tom Bodet. Hello, Blyde. Nice to talk to you. So, Blyde, welcome to the show. You're going to play "Whose Alzo" this time, Alzo Slade is going to read you three quotations from this week's news if you can correctly identify or explain just two of them. You will win our prize. Any voice from our show? You might choose for your voicemail. You're ready to play? Yes, sir. All right. Here's your first quote. From two DVDs a week to owning Hollywood, very impressive. That was a New York Times commenter on news that who has struck a deal to buy Warner Brothers Studios for just $83 billion? Netflix. Netflix. Yes. Very good. Netflix. Announced. They'd be buying Warner Brothers, which includes, of course, HBO and, you know, CNN, DC, all the other letters of the alphabet not currently owned by Disney. Netflix assured consumers who are worried about a Hollywood monopoly that even if they do end up owning every single streaming service, you will still be able to pay a separate subscription fee for each of them. I know this is supposed to be horrible and it's a monopoly and it's going to drive up prices and kill creatives, but think about the mash-up possibilities. Please. K-pop, demon hunter, sing-along, featuring Frodo and Gandalf. You shall not pass, 'cause we're going up, up, up, up, so a moment. I was just going to wait for you to do it. I was hoping for you to jump in here when you left me hanging. You're a comment that we're still going to have to pay separate subscriptions. Yes. That was the only hope I had was that half of those tiles on my screen would disappear. And they would just be like, "The end would just get bigger, bigger, bigger, bigger, and bigger." And all of your waking owls will now be taken with scrolling through choices. You know what? I think it'd be cool. I think if Netflix bought them all up, shut them all down and just went back to mailing us DVDs. Ah! That's sounding better all the time. Netflix are $18 billion in debt and they're spending $83 billion. Do they think they are me? Now, people are worried, this is true, that if Netflix, which streams, of course, video, buys one of the last movie studios, Warner Brothers, that will be the end of movies and theaters. What about a shared communal experience shouts the one guy you know who's always going to the movies alone? Yeah, awesome. I mean, how are they going to recreate that feeling of being in the cinemas? You know, sitting there through 45 minutes of ads. Yeah. Yeah. I got to say, this is true. I went and saw a movie the other day and I'll just say I didn't enjoy it very much in a theater and it wasn't so much I wanted to leave, but that I wanted to be able to point something at the screen and find out how much more of it I had to endure. Yeah, I know what that happened to me in the movie recently too. I was like, how long is it exactly? You want to just move the mouth around. All right, guys, here is your next quote. It's driving like a New York City taxi driver. That was one of many people who've noticed that what kind of cars have started getting a lot more aggressive on the road? Is it self-driving cars? Of course it is. Self-driving cars, specifically Waymos. Waymos driverless taxis are already operating in some cities and customers had complained about trips being slow because the cars were too polite, right? They stopped behind double park delivery trucks instead of driving around them in the other lane. They slowed down to check on the people they hit. So, and this is true, the cars programming has been tweaked to make it a little bit more human. Nobody coming in the opposite lane will drive around the truck. No other cars around? We'll just roll through the stop sign. School zone? If you say so. Some people say, well, now it drives like aggressively, like a New York City cabie. As a matter of fact, many Waymos passengers have noticed the sudden appearance of like pine tree air fresheners on the rear-view mirror. Although of course it's not really a New York cabie unless the car itself says, I wish Giuliani was still mayor. Who was complaining that they were too polite? Passengers? Yeah, I went through. It was actually more hilarious than unnerving was I owned a Tesla when it had the beta self-driving thing. Okay. And the week that they downloaded that to all of us and our cars would actually self-drive. The Zimmermont took my two boys out with us and we're going to let this drive us to town, right? And it's like 10 miles. It took forever. All right. Yeah, because it's for a month. I mean, I don't think it really knew where it was. I get it. It get to a stop sign and be like, whoa. What is that? I never inch up. And we were in tears by the time we got halfway to town. It drives like, no, no. Yeah. It didn't realize it was in Vermont and just started becoming more folksy. Yeah. It just stopped to appreciate the sunset. Well, every going down the road, and then, you know, look, another car is coming, which is more rare there than other places. And it would just like, whoa. Are you a Tesla somehow tipped its cash to the other person? I'm like, ma'am? Yeah, you got it. You got to have the wave. Very good. I can, I can, I can attest to the fact that Waymo's are more like taxi drivers because when I tried to kill one, they just went right past. They were way more racist than you thought they were going to do it. All right, here's your last quote. You want to look good for the person you're with. Not through Wampo, Gemma Pants, and Crocs. That was someone talking to the Wall Street. journal about the swag gap when one half of a couple does what better than the other. Dresses? You're right. Very good. Yes, when one half dressed is better. This is a family, a big deal in the dating community. You've probably seen this a mismatched couple where one one member of the couple dresses really great and the other one looks like they just rolled out of bed. You know that you might have a swag gap problem when you're out with your girlfriend and people keep asking her, "Is that man bothering her?" I live in LA where the women are stunning, but often the men are also stunning. So I feel like as someone who doesn't keep up, you know, with all the latest fashion in LA, I might be in a swag gap with my imaginary boyfriend. And I wouldn't mind if he was Ethan Hawke because he's a little shlummy, but I wouldn't be mad at him. Do you consider that personal growth that you're no longer mad at your imaginary boyfriend? The Wall Street journal did a big story about this, right? So you know it's real. They said some dateers go so far as vetting new partners for like a potential swag gap before they get serious. Like how do you do that? Hey quick question, how much cargo do your pants hold? Also, how did Blife do in our quiz? The new mom got them all right. Congratulations. Right now panel is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Adam, there are 15% more women than men in the country of Latvia. So to help the women out, a new business there is booming. What is that business? Robot men. Not quite robot men. No. Can you get a clue? You can't get a clue. It's like I promise to love and to cherish for $20 an hour with a minimum of three hours. Oh, is it like is it rent a husband? It is exactly rent a husband. Oh, wow. Latvia obviously has a man shortage. So there's been an explosion of quote, husbands for an hour businesses. These rent a husband's calm down, rent a husband's are advertised that they can repair cabinets, tile bathrooms, mount televisions, basically anything a task rabbit or a lesbian friend could do. How many married women in Latvia are like, damn you mean I could have just done this hourly? I know, yeah. I wonder if there's anything like Renaissance here where if you miss a payment they come snatch him up. Oh no, they repode. I don't have the faintest clue. I don't know what I'm about to do. Yeah. So put your hand in the line. Coming up get ready to binge our bluff the listener game call one triple eight wait wait wait to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of wait don't tell me from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is wait wait don't tell me the NPR news quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Helen Hong, Tom Baudet and Adam Burke. And here again is your host at the Stuttabaker Theatre in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Segold. Thank you Alzo. Right now it is time for the wait wait don't tell me bluff the listener game call one triple eight wait wait to play our game in the air. Hi, you're on wait wait don't tell me. Hi, this is Renee calling from Mozilla Montana. Mozilla, one of my favorite places up there in Northwestern Montana. What do you do there? I am a canine field specialist for the nonprofit working dogs for conservation. How incredibly cool. Wow. So what exactly do you train the dogs to do? So we train them on a variety of things. They help detect things like rare and endangered species invasive plants diseases. So how do they test for endangered species? Yeah. Or just like taste? Not invasively through scat detection. Okay. I was afraid it was like they they eat them and they're like I've never had that before. Well Renee welcome to the show you're going to play the game moment you have to tell truth from fiction. Alzo what is Renee's topic? The golden age of TV. So great new TV shows are streaming every day whether it's Love Island or Love Island beyond the villa or Love Island SVU. Now our panelists are going to tell you about a particular new TV show that made the news but not in the usual way. Pick the one that's telling the truth and you can win the weight weighter of your choice and your voice smell. You ready to play? I'm ready. All right first let's hear from Tom Baudette. During her long storied career in theater film and television British actor Emma Thompson has not often been required to confirm her identity. Everybody knows what she looks like. Courtney Hochstetler did too. She looks exactly like his mother Debbie who disappeared almost a year ago. It started with people telling him hey I saw your mom on Apple TV she's in a new crime show called Down Cemetery Road. Courtney watched a couple episodes to verify these reports. That's my mom. He said why would a 70 year old woman disappear to England in order to pose as one of the most famous faces in the world? It's something she would do. Said Courtney. He started besieging the BBC Scotland Yard Interpol demanding they return his mother from the TV show she was hiding in. In fact they got so overwhelmed by his demand Scotland Yard decided to look for Debbie and found her in a Buddhist retreat in Mexico. She just forgot to tell anyone. That is also something she would do. Courtney admits in retrospect. A man becomes convinced that Emma Thompson is his missing mother and ends up finding his mom. Your next TV tale comes from Helen Hall. The new show All's Fair stars Kim Kardashian as a high-powered divorce lawyer with an equally high-powered butt. The famous Kardashian booty is so famous that producers felt all the other butts on the show just couldn't keep up. Test audiences told us they couldn't pay attention to the stories because they were distracted by Kim's assets. Said executive producer Ryan Murphy. So we decided we just make her blend in. Enter AI's virtual butt lift. AI was used to enhance the back sides of every other actor in the series. Yes, if you ever wondered what Glenn Close would look like with a thick and juicy BBL. You're in luck. I'd never been described as curvaceous, but seeing myself with a righteous rump is pretty cool. Said the actor. Even the men were given the booty-boosting treatment. Spoiler alert Ed O'Neill plays a corpse in one episode. But a corpse with a rock in rear end. And buckle up. Conan O'Brien has signed on to join season two. The producers use AI to enhance the rear ends of all the other actors on Kim Kardashian's new show so that she would fit in. Your last saga of streaming comes from Adam Burke. Ever since its invention in 1913, the refrigerator has served as a message center for the household, whether it's opposed to note reminding you to get milk, a terrible drawing by a profoundly untalented child, or a death threat to whatever jerk face took the last froyo, there is no communication hub quite like the humble fridge. But with the advent of the smart refrigerator, it seems, the message is coming from outside the house. Such was the case recently with a British woman named Carol, who went to her trusty modern ice box only to see the phrase, "We're sorry we upset you, Carol." Clearly displayed on the device's LED screen. While some may have taken this digital mayor culpa as a reference to the fact that CRISPR drawers don't actually keep anything crisp, because after all it's just a drawer at the bottom of the fridge. I mean, how does that work? Anyway, it was in fact a promotional ad for the new Apple TV show Puribus, which features a character with that name. The real Carol not being aware of the show despite it being the one that all the appliances are talking about, instead thought she was having a psychotic episode and promptly check herself into the hospital. The confusion has prompted Apple to devise a more subtle promotional campaign for Puribus in the US, printing the name of the show on all of our money. So these are your three choices. From Tombow, that someone becomes so convinced that the character played by Emma Thompson on a TV show is his missing mom, that he ends up helping find his missing mom. From Helen Hong, how the producers of the TV show All's Fair, with Kim Kardashian, sort of equalized everybody's assets, or from Adam Burke about how a woman got an ad for a new TV show on her refrigerator thought it was actually speaking to her and promptly sought help. Which of these was the real story of a TV show making the news? - As much as I wanted to be AI, but I think my dog is telling me to go with Alan's story. - So your choice is Adam's story about the woman who thought her fridge was talking to her by name. Well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to an expert about the real story. - I love Fluribus, but it does seem like a pretty neat show. I would think that even people not named Carol might be slightly confused. - That was marketing consultant Carrie Sloan talking about the Fluribus ad, getting a little too real for one real Carol. Congratulations, Renee, you got it right. You're in the point for Adam. You've won our prize, the voice of your choice and you're voicemail. Congratulations. - Thank you. - Thank you so much. Thanks for playing with us today. (upbeat music) - And now the game, we call Not My Job. Singer, songwriter Lucy Deicas, recorded her first record as a favorite to a friend. He needed to produce something for his school project. That became her hit debut, No Bird in which she followed by an even bigger hit historian. And then she formed the super group Boy Genius with Phoebe Bridgers and Julian Baker. And their debut earned three Grammys. We are delighted she joins us now. Lucy Deicas, welcome to "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me." - Thank you. - Great to talk to you. I have to ask, is that true that your first record was recorded as a favorite to a friend? - Yeah, he had a school project to do and my friend was working at Reba Mac Entire Studio. And he was like, no one's scheduled on the Saturday she would sneak in. And so the whole record, we recorded it in one day, illegally. I don't know if it's illegal, but without approval. - Right, first of all, I'm assuming he was like, studying something like producing or audio engineering at school, right? - Yeah, he was interning. - Right, and-- - And I guess the first question is, did he get a good grade? - I never asked him that. - Really? (audience laughing) I got to assume that he at least passed, as a past fail situation. - Yeah, he didn't like, he didn't fail and have to have you record another record, did he? - Yeah, and that's what historian is. - Yeah, exactly, that was his second project. So that's an amazing story. You started playing guitar and I'm told it 12 years old. - I would say the correct answer is yes. - The correct answer is yes. I like the fact you're already getting to the quiz aspect. That's good. - I'm not very, I'm still not the best at guitar. I feel like guitar at that time was hardly listable. - Really? But you're actually quite an accomplished guitarist. You were on a list of one of the greatest of all time I saw. - Yeah. (audience laughing) - Do you remember, I'm always curious about this, artists like yourself, what your first songs were like, when you first wrote a song. Do you remember what it was? - I had a song called "Supercupid," which was like, "Why won't Cupid come to me?" I was probably like seven years old. - What? - Yeah. I don't know. - At the end of the song. - I was ready for love. - Yeah, I know. - You were already pining for a partner at seven? - Yes, yeah. I mean, I also had a song that was about people who were upset when someone cheats on them, but it's probably their fault because why would they cheat on you if you weren't hard to be with? Like again, I was probably like eight years old. - Oh my goodness. - Wow, you were eight years old. - What was happening at your elementary school? (audience laughing) - I'm glad I don't remember. - Yeah. (audience laughing) - I'm wondering, who are your big influences when you were a kid? Who are you trying to emulate when you were writing incredibly emotionally complex songs at the age of eight? - Our group, Fergie, actually. (audience laughing) - Okay, yeah, that one was good. - Yeah, okay. - Fergie, Fergie and Adele probably at that time. - Yeah, I understand. You also, in your early days before you recorded that school project and began to become very popular, you worked at a, I didn't even know that these still existed within a young person's lifetime, but a photo processing shop in Richmond, where you grew up. - Wow. - Richmond, camera. - Richmond, camera. - Did that experience inspire any of your writing? - Well, it was still mindless, and it was eight hours a day. And so I would sit and do my like, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. And then I had a pad of paper, and I would write songs, and I'd get home, and I'd get on the guitar, and write like a song a day at that time, which is not like what I do anymore. - Wow. Have you considered, I mean, you seem to be nostalgic for when you were that productive. Have you considered taking on like a mindless day job again, just to reignite the creative spirit? - Yeah, I think you're being funny, but I'm not, I know what you thought about that. - I hope so. - Yeah, I'm ready. - You're ready, you're ready. Somebody, somebody hired this woman for drudge work, so you can reach like the photo counter at Walgreens. I think that's exactly how you drive. - Why not? - In 2019, you released a song on certain holidays throughout the year, and then put out a record of them all, called "Holidays," and I love this record. How did you decide which holidays to do? - The real truth is that I had recorded a bunch of things for no reason because it's fun to do, and I was like, when are these gonna see the world? And so I realized that some of them have like a holiday aspect. Others, I kind of could make it up. Like dancing the dark, we just said that Bruce Springsteen's birthday is a holiday. Which I stand by, and then like in the air tonight, like that was kind of eerie, so we did it for Halloween. - I also wanted to ask, as you say, one of the holidays, Bruce Springsteen's birthday, and you do think that's a holiday, you're a big fan, right? - It wasn't my house growing up. I mean, it was written out, we had like a big calendar in the kitchen where we put like, you know, fast-to-ball practice, church, Bruce Springsteen's birthday. - Wow. - Can I ask, how did you celebrate it? Did you all put on tight white t-shirts, tight jeans, and workout issues with your fathers? Please tell me you called it. Please tell me you called it the Springsteen. (laughing) - The Springsteen? - The Springsteen. (laughing) - I have to call my dad. (laughing) - Yeah. - I saw a picture of you with Springsteen, so you didn't meet him, right? - Did you tell him about the Springsteen? (laughing) - No. (laughing) - I already knew, like I'm not that, like, saved when I meet people, but he, like, is so important to my dad and to me. And I, like, showed up at a friend's birthday party and, like, saw him and I was like, I need to go. I'm about to make a fool of myself. And so, I was crying at the party, a friend who was like, this is weird, (laughing) and I should go. And so, then I turned around and he was right there. And he actually, like, knew me and knew my music already. So, I was just like, I think you're the best. (laughing) I, like, yeah, and he was, he was very gracious and he kinda, he seems to be, like, the guy that you want him to be, which is not always true. - It's always true. - Well, Lucy Dayk is, it is a pleasure to talk to you and we have invited you here to play a game. We're calling. - Boy Genius, Meet Boy Geniuses. - So, your band is called Boy Geniuses. So, we're gonna ask you three questions about geniuses who are also boys. Answer two or three. (laughing) - Well, you're, okay, you're rolling your eyes. I didn't warn you earlier, it would be dumb. I mean, you can be, - You can be geniuses, it's awesome dumb, so. - Okay, let's go. - Let's go. All right, appreciate it. That was very charitable. (laughing) So, as I was saying, answer two to three questions correctly and you'll win our prize, one of our listeners. Also, who is Lucy playing for? - Kimberly Ramos of Chicago, Illinois. - All right. (audience cheering) Here's your first question. Math Genius Suburno Bari started at NYU last fall at the age of 12. When a reporter asked him, do you sometimes wonder at the fact that you're only 12? What was his response? A, quote, "Why wonder at that when there's dark matter to wonder about?" (laughing) B, quote, "Not really, I've seen my birth certificate." (audience laughing) Or C, quote, "Yes, mainly when my classmates "go to a bar without me." - I'm gonna say the second option. I think it's two. - You are right. It was B, yes, he said yes. I've seen my birth certificate. (audience applauding) He is a math genius, he can count to 12. All right. Here's your next question. Dugi Hauser was a fictional boy genius who in the show completed med school of the age of 14. But the actor who played him, Neil Patrick Harris, was not a medical prodigy. So, how did he get through the scenes where he had to spell a lot of medical jargon while performing surgery? Was it A, he recorded each big word just one at a time and then the editors would just cut away to the nurses a lot to make it sound like he was saying it all at once. B, he put a card with his lines written on them inside the surgical wound he was supposed to be operating on, or C, the actor playing the patient and the operating table would whisper the lines to him, taking advantage of the fact he couldn't see his mouth under a oxygen mask. (audience laughing) - I'll say B, because you're right. - Yeah. - It was. (audience applauding) All right. Here is your last question. Get this right, you'll be perfect. Boy geniuses from around the country are once invited to participate in a game show called "Hour Little Genius" where prodigies answer. answered nearly impossible questions in the pursuit of winning $500,000, but the show the recorded never aired. Why? A, the network head said, "People already feel dumb watching game shows. Now we're going to make them feel dumber." B, the phone a friend featured failed when every single contestant asked, "Does my mom count?" Or C, it was shut down when it was revealed the kids weren't actually geniuses, producers were just feeding them the answers right before they filmed. I feel like we live in the world of C. We do sadly, it is a fallen world that we live in and you are correct. It was C. It was a scam. It was never broadcast. Also, how did Lucy do in our quiz? She did great. Three out of three. Well done. Lucy Dacus is a singer/songwriter and won the third of the Supergroup Boy Genius her new album "Forever" is a feeling is out now. Lucy Dacus, thank you so much for joining us on "Web Wait For Your Time" today. Thank you for knowing me. It was a pleasure to talk to you. Take care. Likewise. Bye-bye. In just a minute, hear about a man with infallible style in our listener-liberic challenge, but one AAA wait-wait-wait to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of "Web Wait For Your Time" from NPR. From NPR and WB Easy Chicago, this is "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, The NPR News Quiz." I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Tom Baudet, Adam Burke, and Helen Hong. And here again is your host at the Stoodabaker Theatre in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sago. Thank you, Alzo, in just a minute. Thank you everybody. In just a minute. Thank you, Lamarick's Enter, but only one leaves in our listener-liberic Deathmatch. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-8-8-8-9-2-48-9-2-4. But right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Tom, this week, a couple who rented an Airbnb were shocked when they arrived at their rental and found a sign telling them to use the bed, quote, "only for what." Well, it's only a couple main uses, well, sleeping. Yes, only for sleeping. The couple checked into this Airbnb in Istanbul, Turkey, and they were surprised when they found this note on the bed that it was to be used, quote, "only for sleep, no other activities." Wow. Wow. Wow, man, where am I supposed to do my scrapbooking now? Obviously it seems like the owners of the Airbnb were trying to avoid any, you know, amorous activities in the bedroom. But then why did the dining room table have a sign that said, "Anything goes, get wild you freaks." Did they turn the sign over and it said, "That's what the sex swing is for." Now this is what they say what happened. It's possible one person in the relationship just snuck in early and put the sign there. Now we've had this experience, right? This is a little much though of seeing these signs and the instructions around your Airbnb. The remote for the TV at the same place had a sticker that read, "Use only to turn TV on off." Which is a mistake because now you're just asking people to come up with other things a remote could be used for. What was in the bathroom in any direction there? Helen, Japan is having trouble keeping bears and other animals away from populated areas these days. But this week we learned about an increasingly popular and successful method of scaring them off, just installing a what? A Netflix account. I need a hint. You need a hint. It just happened to the robots they already have when there was a full moon. Where wolf robots? Wolf robots. No. Or robot wolves. Yes, that's right. The monster wolf robot, that's an official name, is this sort of wolf shaped device that's got speakers and flashing lights and glowing red eyes to deter bears from approaching while also adding a fun pop of color to your home decor. I'm not sure if you're interested in a robot. It is legitimately scary. It is a combination of like a combination of electronic parts and cheap fake fur, vaguely, and an animal shape. It looks like something that was thrown out of the Chuck E. Cheese animatronic band because of a drug problem. Is it stationary? Is it they like just put them somewhere and they could- Well, what's interesting is right now the original model is stationary. It just sits there. It's got these speakers that can play 50 different sounds. Why? They don't scare off the bear. They won't famously have like two noises. Yeah, but all that bandwidth. You got to use it. Yeah. Yeah, but the bears will get used to the one sound. Yeah. We've got this new scatting werewolf that scares the crap out of everyone. Now, so apparently, like I said, it's very successful. They're buying more of them, but it's possible that it's not actually scaring anything. The bear is just running back to the woods to tell his friends, "Fell, you got to see this." When you AI was going to be stealing jobs, I didn't think I'd be doing it from animals. Coming up, it's lightning filling the blank, but first is the game where you have to listen for the ride. If you'd like to play on air, call the name of the message at 1-888-888-924-8924. You can see us most weeks right here at the Studebaker Theatre in downtown Chicago. You can catch us next on the road in Bloomington, Indiana on February 26th for tickets and information about all our live shows. Just go over to nprpresents.org. Hi, everyone. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, Peter. Hi, everybody. Merit is calling from beautiful Reno, Nevada. Ah, the biggest little city in the world. Reno, I like it there. You got it. I am a part-time substitute teacher full-time homemaker. Oh, I see. That's great. Do you enjoy substitute teaching? I absolutely love it. It's joy. It brings me so much joy to see those kids faces. It was a joy for me to see a substitute teacher when I was a kid. Well, welcome to the show, Meredith. Alzo Slade is good. You look so good to be here. It's great to have you. Now, Alzo Slade, filling in for Bill Curtis, is going to read you three news related Limerick's with the last word of phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word of phrase correctly, and two of the Limerick's will be a winner. Ready to go? I am ready. Here is your first Limerick. In hockey, we fight quite a bunch. Sometimes cheekbones or teeth need to crunch. We vote by the dozens for center-knit cousins of face that we all want to. Punch, yes, a survey of NHL players named Nick Cousins of the Ottawa Senators as the most punchable hockey player in a landslide. Now this does not mean the players went on to say that the NHL players hate Nick Cousins. One player in fact said, "I love the guy. He's a very good friend of me, and then voted for him as most punchable." Does he say that when he is punching Nick Cousins? Nick, you're a great guy. You have one flaw though. Too many teeth. Pow! Whoa. If we were to have that contest here, I think Tom Baudet would come last. Is the least punchable punchable? Well, the least punchable. Thank you. Yeah. I would think the most punchable face, I don't know if you've ever had occasion to actually punch a face, but it really hurts. It's only happened to me once. You punched a face? Yeah, it was. It's a long story. For another time. At a long time ago. But it hurts. It hurts a lot. And so I would want to punch a really fat face. Yeah. Yeah. Pussies. Like the potato of faces. Yes. All right. Here is your next limerick. Clothes and water are making this jar slick. It's a mouthwash that is a support trick. My mouth will be clean, but my breath makes you scream. My new mouthwash is four cloves of garlic. Garlic, yes. According to a paper published this week, the compounds in garlic are as effective at fighting microbes in the mouth as the best commercial mouthwash. The only difference is, and the garlic does it, it makes the microbes leave voluntarily. This is a way to low-key break up with someone without actually having to break up with someone. Yeah. Just be like, I got this new mouthwash, babe. What if you used like rosemary mouthwash to compliment it? You know what I mean? Like maybe end of a sauce. No, this product, garlic mouthwash, ticks all the boxes for the crunchy, all-natural crowd out there. It doesn't have any chemicals, and it makes you smell terrible. All right, here is your last limerick. For an old man in white, he's real dope. A plain gown and his belt is a robe. Leo 14 is a robe. real fashion queen. Yes, among the best dressed is the, "Op!" The Pope! Shocking, no one! We've seen the movie Conclave. The New York Times put the Pope on their most stylish of 2025 list. It's not totally intuitive until you remember that if the Times call something red-hut, people instantly stop caring about it. They said he, the Pope, has "altered the office's image by wearing Chicago white socks hat with his papal garments." It is a cool contrast, you have to admit, cursed by God versus God. Yeah, is there a swag gap between the Pope and Jesus? It's possible. It's show up together and the Pope is like, "You just wore a loincloth." But I feel like there's a swag gap between the Pope and the Cardinals because you get the wear like the red gums and like, you know, when it comes to a white man and a white robe and a pointy hat, I kind of get a little nervous. Yeah, you can see that. Also, how did Meredith do? She did great. Three out of three. Perfect score. Congratulations. Well done. I have a great time. Thank you Peter. Thank you also. Thank you everyone. Thank you. Take care. Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds, which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Also, can you give us the scores? Absolutely. Helen and Tom are knotted up at two with Adam in the lead with four. Okay. That means that Helen and Tom are tied for second. So, Helen, I'm going to arbitrarily choose you to go first. Here we go. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank on Wednesday. The US seized an oil tanker belonging to blank. Right. This week the Supreme Court agreed to hear a case challenging blank citizenship. Birthright. Right. This week, President Zelensky reiterated that he would not accept a peace treaty that ceded to Ukrainian land to blank. Russia. Right. Under a new government plan, foreign tourists could be required to disclose up to five years of their blank history to US officials. Taxes? No social media history. This week officials in South Carolina said they stopped a drone from illegally delivering blank to a prison. Donuts. No. Close though, stake, crab legs, and old bay seasoning. I guess the dessert was on the next drone. On Wednesday, NASA confirmed that they'd lost contact with the Maven spacecraft orbiting blank. Mars? Right. On Sunday, Katy Perry and former Canadian Prime Minister blank went Instagram official. Wait, what's the question? Oh, Justin Trudeau. Right. Exactly. Yes. You were too busy being glad for them. I'm so sweet. This week organizers apologized after attendees of a Canadian town's 2025 Santa parade were accidentally blanked. Transported to the North Pole. Lost their way from the North Pole. No, these spectators were accidentally sprayed with flame thrower fuel. What? Several people attending the St. John Santa parade complained that one of the floats, a giant truck decked out with working flame throwers, doused them in lighter fluid during the parade. The organizers of the event have apologized, but what do you expect them to do to throw a Santa parade without the traditional truck decked out in working flame throwers? Also, how did Helen do in our quiz? She got five right for 10 more points, total of 12, and she's in the lead. All right, very well done, Helen. All right, Tom, you are up next, fill in the blank. On Monday, the Supreme Court seemed blankly to side with Trump in a case that would greatly expand blank powers. Presidential policy. Yeah. On Tuesday, Eileen Higgins was elected the first Democratic mayor of blank in 30 years. Miami. Right. This week, the Federal Reserve cut blanks a quarter of a percent. Interest. Right. On Monday, Australia's ban on blank for kids under 16 went into effect. Screens or internet social media. Social media. That's right. This week a man in Florida caught behind the wheel of a stolen DMW explained to police that he didn't steal the car. He blanked. He borrowed it. No, he said he did not steal the DMW. He had been teleported into it. Oh, that happens. On Wednesday, the Powerball Jackpot rose above blank. A billion dollars. That's right. This week, a woman in Spain sued her employer after she was fired for repeatedly blanking. Being transported into cars in Florida, which is a thing that's happening. No, she was fired for repeatedly showing up early for work. What? The woman was supposed to start at 7.30, but she kept showing up between 6.45 and 7, and her boss said, cut it out. We started 7.30, but her behavior persisted, so she was fired for, quote, "serious misconduct." The lawsuit was a last resort for the woman. She had originally tried to protest to someone in HR, but they weren't in the office yet. How so, how did Tom do in our quiz? He also got a five right for 10 more points. Total of 12. He's tied up with Helen. Okay. So how many then does Adam need to win? Four to tie, five to win. Right. All right. Here we go. Adam, this is for the game, fill in the blank. On Tuesday, a federal judge granted a request to unseal blanks court records. Epstein. Yes. This week, experts warned that an atmospheric river could bring dangerous blanks to the northwest. A flood? Yes. On Wednesday, the White House unveiled their new $5,000,000 gold card blank. Is that a visa? Yes, an immigration visa costs $5,000,000. This week, authorities in Mississippi are searching for the person who stole a Christmas display of blank. Jesus of the robotic wolf? No. They're looking for the person who stole a display of the Grinch who stole Christmas. After pulling them off the air earlier this year, ABC announced they had extended blanks contract through 2027. Jimmy Kimmel? Right. This week, Magnus Carlson and other chess grades became under threat from a new, highly ranked competitor who is blank. Is it a dog? No. He is three years old. What? Sorry, Wagya Singh Kushwaha is the youngest ever person to be rated by the world's leading chess organization. It's just three years, seven months, and 20 days. He's already beaten several other players who are decades older than him with his trademark strategy of touching all the pieces with a snotty little helmet. Having his opponent's forfeit. Yeah, I also did Adam do well enough to win. Well, I don't know if we should celebrate or not. He got four right, eight more points, so either everybody wins or everybody loses because there's a three-way top. There you are. Everybody wins. In just a minute, Lorna, ask our panelists to predict that after Netflix and Paramount and Warner Brothers, what will be the next big merger in the news? But first, let me tell you, Wait, wait, don't tell me. It's a production of NPR and WB Easy, Chicago, an association with urgent haircut productions, Doug, Berman, Beneville, and Overlord. Philip Gaudica writes, "Our Lemrex, our public address announcer, is Paul Friedman, our tour manager is Shayna Donald. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theater. B.J. Leaderman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Durambos, and Lillian King, special thanks to Blythe, Roberson, and Monica Hickey. Peter Gwynne is our private address announcer. And the choice our visual host, Tactical Direction, is from Lorna White, our CFO, is Colin Miller, a production manager, is Robert Newhouse, our senior producers Ian Chilock, and the executive producer of Wait, Wait, don't tell me is Mike Nathan Detroit Danforth. Now, panel, what will be the next big corporate merger? Adam Burke, to the delight of kids everywhere, six and seven are going to merge into an even, into a more annoying number called sixen. Helen Hung. McDonald's will merge with Burger King, and McNuckets will be renamed Mick King's Nuts. And Tom Baudet, ex on mobile, Texas, and the U.S. Navy will merge to make a hostile bid for Venezuela. And if any of that happens, panel, we'll be sure to ask you about it on. Thank you, also Slade. Thanks also to Helen Hung, Tom Baudet. Adam Burke. Thanks for our fabulous audience here at the Stewart Baker Theater in downtown Chicago. And thank you all out there for listening wherever you may be. I am Peter Segal. We'll see you next week. This is NPR.