WWDTM: Kali Reis

[MUSIC] >> From NPR and WVZ Chicago, this is, wait, wait, don't tell me the NPR news quiz. I'm the boy so soothing, lullabies listen to me to follow me. [APPLAUSE] I'm Bill Curtis, and here's your host at the studio maker theater at the fine arts building in Chicago and Illinois, Peter Segal. >> Thank you, Bill, thank you everybody, thank you so much. >> It's all good to be with you. You do have a great show today. Later on, we're going to be talking to Kayleigh Reese, a champion boxer who seemingly almost overnight became an acclaimed and Emmy-nominated actor starring in HBO's true detective. She's now starring in the upcoming movie Mercy. We assume that she learns her lines by punching them. If you'd like to try your hand at a non-contact competition, give us a call to play our games, that's 1-888, wait, wait, that's 1-888-9248-924. It's time to welcome our first listener contestant. How you run, wait, wait, don't tell me. >> Hi, Peter, my name is Benjamin, and I'm calling from Boston, Massachusetts. >> Boston, I spent a lot of time in Boston, one of my favorite places. What do you do there? >> Well, I work as a computational chemist at a scientific software and discovery company called Schrödinger. >> Typical Boston guy, am I right? >> Absolutely. >> Yeah, absolutely, that's great. Well, welcome to the show, Benjamin. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, she's host of the TikTok series, Boy Room, found wherever you might watch your short form videos. It's Rachel Coster. >> Hey, Benjamin. >> Next up, he's a comedian and co-host of the new podcast, Health Stuff, which is found wherever you get your podcasts. It's Hari Kandabolo. >> Hi, Hari. >> And he is the host of the Daily Podcast, T-B-T-L, as well as the public radio variety show Live Wire, which will be live at the research center for the arts in Beaverton, Oregon on January 23rd. It's our old friend Luke Burbank. >> Hey, there, Benjamin. >> Hi, Luke. >> So Benjamin, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Bill? This time, Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show, you might choose for your voice mail. Are you ready to go? >> Yeah, I'm ready. >> All right. Your first quote is from President Trump, responding to a country saying it wanted to remain part of Denmark. >> That's a fair problem. >> Who's problem is it that they don't want to be invaded by the United States? >> That would be Greenland. This week, the administration met with the leaders of both Denmark and Greenland until them get ready to get liberated. Trump has been obsessed with Greenland for a long time and we know why they made Greenland one of the five words he had to remember on his cognitive test. I don't think I knew Greenland was a real place until about eight months ago. I don't think the president did either. >> Yeah, that's why neither of us should be trying to take control of the place. We only learned exactly eight months ago. Now people have speculated and the White House has not been able to deny this that Trump wants Greenland so badly because it looks so much bigger on flat maps than an actual is their Mercator projection is if I need to tell NPR people about that. We should never, never have given them any of those map of the world placements. >> It's oil, right? What is up there? >> What is there? >> There's rare earth in the earth. >> Okay, right. >> Which ones? >> I don't know. >> That's what he does. >> He doesn't know. They're rare though and they're in the earth. We have to go get them, right? >> There's got to be aliens there, something like he knows something. >> You think? >> Yeah, of course. Why would he be so excited and be keeping it such a secret? Mineryl's known to look into that and alien, I would live there if no one else is there and I haven't thought this one through, sorry. >> Okay. >> All right. >> Well. >> Yeah. >> There's no other has anyone else, so that's, you want to be president? >> Yeah. >> All right. Very good. Here is your next quote. >> We will be installing a few bad days in Gracie Manchin. >> That was somebody moving into his new residence in New York this week. Who is it? >> That would be Zoraan Mamdani. >> Zoraan Mamdani, very good, Benjamin. Two weeks after his inauguration, New York's new mayor, Zoraan Mamdani and his wife Rama are moving from, this is true. They're one bedroom apartment in Queens to the 11,000 square foot mansion on the upper east side of Manhattan that he gets to live in for free. See, he told you he would make housing more affordable. And the bad days that he is, in fact, having installed there, are just confirming for as many enemies that he is one of those a feet European types. Real Americans don't even wash their hands. He's installing bad days or as we say in New York, he's taken care of the subway. >> The underground? >> Yeah. >> As it were. I am a huge proponent of bad days. As I've often said, if you got some peanut butter and a shag rug, you wouldn't take it out with a paper towel. >> [LAUGH] >> Yeah. >> I've never heard, I've never heard that metaphor before and I think I can tell you why. >> [LAUGH] >> But like. >> Carbiting is so old fast. >> Because of my love of bad days, I was doing some remodeling in my house and I thought I was really upgrading these two little bathrooms. Both of them have these robo toilets that have the bad day built into the toilet. >> Yes, it's great to have these. >> And I was so excited to have people over and to have everybody enjoying this really nice experience and everyone has been going out to the garage to use the one normal toilet in my house because these toilets are terrifying if you've never used one before. >> I ask both for myself and for the new mayor of New York. If you were to throw a party or a gathering in which the purpose was to have people use the bad days that you're so proud of, what do you serve? >> [LAUGH] >> See, that's a trap and I'm not going to fall into it. We did have a comment card that people were filling out on the way out like how did you enjoy your bad day experience? >> What's interesting, this is, and I don't think this has ever been as true in the history of New York politics, it's such an upgrade for the Mamdani's, right? 11,000 square feet is a tremendous amount of space to fill when you only own two Ikea tables and a futa. >> [LAUGH] >> Prior mayors, right, very different. Mayor Bloomberg, this is true, never moved into Gracie Mansion because it would have been a downgrade from his own home. That's true. Now, Rudy Giuliani, on the other hand, keeps texting Mamdani, asking him if it's cool, if he comes back and couch serves for a couple of weeks long, get some things sorted. >> Eric Adams just lived in the club. >> Yeah. >> [LAUGH] >> You're in his home who's riding some Molly high. >> Yeah. >> [LAUGH] >> All right, Benjamin, your last quote is from a NASA astronaut talking about their next mission. >> We are ready. We are going. It turns out that very soon, we will be going back where. >> Would that be the moon? >> It would be Benjamin the moon. NASA announced this week that the first Artemis moon mission could launch as soon as February 6, which is really soon. I mean, all of a sudden, they're going to the moon, this is like when my family puts off making spring break plans for too long, and then it's like, my God, it's coming up in three weeks, so let's just go to the moon again. It's nice. >> Man, the moon landing, really, yet another Hollywood remake. >> [LAUGH] >> Am I right? >> Yeah, I'm not going to be original. >> Yeah. >> Is it really that interesting to go to the moon anymore, because we've already done it, and at this point it's just a gas station on the way to Mars. >> Well, that's why they're presumably they're going, then you need to set up the gas station. >> Right. >> Is Tom Hanks going to be part of this moon mission, because I really think he should be. >> Right. >> He did it good last year. >> He did it fine, he did it fine. >> A while, but he figured it out. >> Yeah. >> By the way, the news came the same week. I don't know if this was a coincidence, that a crew of four NASA astronauts returned to Earth early from the International Space Station because of a, quote, health issue, unquote. NASA isn't saying what it is, and neither is that little freak that just burst out of the astronaut's chest. >> [LAUGH] >> Bill, how did Benjamin do in our quiz? >> Benjamin is so smart, he got him all right. >> Congratulations. >> [APPLAUSE] >> Thank you. >> Benjamin, congratulations, and I'll see you around the commons someday, I hope. >> Looking forward to it. Take care, bye-bye. [MUSIC] >> Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Rachel. >> Yes. We're working together around the world to finally agree on the answer to the most important question about exercise. What is that question? >> How long, how long before you get abs if you don't do that much work? >> [LAUGH] >> You're close, you're close, but that's not right. >> What's the best way to make someone fall in love with you for your body, but not in a way that they'll bring out. up with you if you change. (audience laughs) I don't know the real answer. - So I love that. The idea is like, you want them to fall in love with you 'cause you're like the hard-bodied, sexy, completely, you know, close to that. - But then things like kind of you get comfortable and like you're just having like meals at home a lot, then what is the time frame in this transformation? - I can gain weight pretty fast, I would say. (audience laughs) I'll say it within a month. I'm just gonna say, just based on this conversation, I'm gonna say that you'll be very interested in this finding because this is, they figured out what about exercise, specifically the amount of exercise. - Um, one hour a week, I need. - I'm gonna give it to you, they figured out the minimum amount of exercise people need. - What? - Working out once a week for 20 minutes. - 20 minutes. - Has no meal benefits. - No, no. - It's science. - This country's gone soft. - How are you, a pigstead? - Literally, yeah. - Walking a little more quickly. Just a little bit more quickly. Will extend your lifespan significantly. Even vigorously running errands helps. So just order, really, this is true, this is science. So just order some weights from Amazon and then immediately return them. (audience laughs) You did it, now enjoy that smoothie. You've earned it. (audience laughs) - So my walk to the coffee shop in the morning and back, that I'm good. - Yeah, but. - You're basically a hero. - If you were. (audience laughs) - That easy now. - Yeah, if you just walk more quickly and make it just a little hard, then you get huge health benefits. And you'll extend your lifespan. - All right. (audience laughs) - I'll think about it. - Right. (audience laughs) (upbeat music) - Coming up, our panelists, Rob Elbowes with The Rich and Famous and our beloved listener game, called One Triple Eight Weight Weight to Play. We'll be back in a minute with more of Whitway, Don't Tell Me. From NPR. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - From NPR and WB Easy Chicago, this is Whitway, Don't Tell Me. The NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Rachel Custer, Harry Gundabaloo and Luke Burbayne. And here we get a share of host these doodabaker theater and Chicago alumni, Peter Segal. - Thank you, Bill. (audience applauds) Right now it's time for The Whitway, Don't Tell Me. Bluff the listener game, call One Triple Eight Weight Weight to Play or Game of the Air. How you were on Whitway, Don't Tell Me. - Hi, this is Lauren from Minneapolis, Minnesota. - I'm Minneapolis. (audience applauds) Got a lot of fans here. Minneapolis does. - I'm an internal auditor at the Federal Reserve Bank of Minneapolis. - Yeah, okay, you live in Minneapolis, you work at the Federal Reserve. You have no stress in your life whatsoever. I'm so glad to hear. Well, Lauren, it's great to have you with us. You're gonna play the game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Lauren's topic? - I'm Star Struck. - It's always exciting to meet a celebrity. Who knows, you might discover that stars are just like us, except of course, they're not. Our panelists are gonna tell you about a star-studded encounter that we found in the news. - Pick the one who's telling the truth, you'll win our prize. The weight-weighter of your choice in your voicemail. Are you ready to play? - Yep. - All right, first let's hear it from Harry Cunda Bolu. - When Jutton Chopra went shoe shopping last week, he thought he was getting some new kicks. Instead, he picked up the story of a lifetime. As the music blasted in the trendy street where it's stored tootsies, Chopra heard a quiet pss, pss, from the bench next to him. It was Timothy Chalamet. (audience laughs) Chopra was familiar with Chalamet's work because according to Chopra, quote, "My wife has a huge crush on him, "which is weird because he looks like that." (audience laughs) But Chalamet wasn't at the store to promote his new movie or White Wrap. (audience laughs) He was there to buy sneakers and he had a problem. According to Chopra, Chalamet whispered, "Hey bro, can you tie my shoes for me? "I never learned." (audience laughs) That's right, while Timothy Chalamet can sing like Bob Dylan, play professional level ping pong and do whatever Dune is about. (audience laughs) He never learned how to tie his shoes. Jutth and Chopra didn't just tie Chalamet's laces, but he mister rogered the situation and taught him how to do it for himself. (audience laughs) Wow, they really do look like bunny ears, marveled at Oscar nominated actor. (audience laughs) The man teaches Timothy Chalamet how to tie his shoes, 'cause you didn't know how. (audience applauds) Your next story of a dazzling, how do you do comes from a Rachel Koster? Football fans will do whatever it takes to lift their team spirits. Usually that only goes as far as wearing the team's colors or getting really hammered and screaming at them. But for one fan, it didn't stop there. Natasha Lane, a Florida native, was waiting for a friend outside of Pete's bar in Jacksonville, a bar with mostly positive reviews, excluding one one star review that says, "Stay away, lots of fights." If you like that, as she waited, who else would enter the bar, but Jacksonville Jaguar star quarterback, Trevor Lawrence, who was coming off a high from his victory against the Titans 41 to 7. Lawrence wasn't the only winner that night because upon seeing him in all of his big football guy glory, Natasha Lane asked what every girl dreams of asking an insanely hot pro athlete when he walks into your neighborhood bar. She asked if she could squat him. (audience laughs) The five foot five, the five foot five inch tall, 31 year old, hoisted the six foot six inch tall, 220 pound Lawrence onto her back and proceeded to squat him five times with perfect form. The samsonine effort was recorded by a friend and went viral. When asked what Lane would do if she ever saw Trevor Lawrence again, she replied, "I would ask, can I squat you again?" (audience laughs) A woman meets her sports hero in a bar and immediately asks to squat him. Your last VIP in passing comes from Luke Burbank. Sandy De Carlo knew her plumber looked familiar as she explained to the daily Colombian last week. The toilet in our guest bathroom kept backing up, so I called a company to come fix it and when the guy shows up, I was like, "Is that Christian Bale?" (audience laughs) It was Christian Bale. Doing research for an upcoming film role where he plays a plumber. He introduced himself as Ricky but I could definitely tell he was Christian Bale. (audience laughs) Who counts herself a fan of his work in the Batman movies in American Psycho. I told him what an honor it was to have Christian Bale fixing my toilet. But he just looked at me like I was crazy and headed for the guest bathroom. After four hours of dismantling the toilet with apparently no clear idea on how to reassemble it, (audience laughs) it also became obvious that Christian Bale doesn't know anything about plumbing. According to De Carlo, Bale was swearing under his breath and his Welsh accent, which was another big giveaway. Eventually Ricky said he needed to go back to the shop to get more parts. That was last Tuesday. He has yet to turn around. But Sandy is not mad. She says, "I just think it's so cool that the Christian Bale broke my toilet." (audience laughs) All right. One of these celebrity encounters happened in the news and we found it and you take it out from the fakes. Was it from Harry Cundabolo, a man who happened to run into Timothy Shalamay in a shoe store and taught him to tie his shoes. From Rachel Coster, a woman who ran into the quarterback of the Jacksonville Jaguars, threw him upon her shoulders and did squats or from Luke Burbank, a woman who was convinced that it was Christian Bale who came to her house and ruined her toilet. Which of these is the real celebrity encounter we found in the news? - I'm gonna say it's Trevor Lauren. He's like something a girl would do. (audience laughs) - Here's the great thing we happen to have for you now, the voice of the celebrity in question, describing the event. Did not think that was gonna happen so. I mean, I knew it was gonna get squatted. She didn't just pick me up. - That was Trevor Lawrence talking about getting squatted in a bar for a book of reporters. Congratulations, your instincts were correct. That is something a woman would do. (audience laughs) Lauren, congratulations. You have, it's correctly, you, first of all, won a point just because Rachel told the truth for her but you have also won our prize. So congratulations very much. (audience applauds) - Congratulations and thank you so much for calling. (upbeat music) - And now the game we call Not My Job. If you first saw our actor, Kaley Reece, starring with Jodie Foster in the series True Detective Night Country and HBO, you probably said, wow, what an amazing actor. Did she train it? Yale or Juilliard? No, she trained at the Big Six Boxing Academy in Providence, Rhode Island. The former world champion, Walter Wade Boxer, now stars in the movie Mercy coming out next week. Kaley Reece, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. (audience applauds) So, I was kind of describing myself. I saw you in True Detective Night Country as extremely impressed as we're the Emmy committee. You were nominated. And I was amazed to discover that was as far as I can tell, your third professional acting job. - Correct, it was my third professional acting job, first TV show ever. - Wow. And you did, in fact, train at the Big Six Boxing Academy in Providence where you're from, right? - Yes, that is my extended family. I've been training with them for a very, very long time. - And from a very young age, when did you start boxing? - Around the age of 13 or 14, I found boxing. Prior to that, I did, I played softball, I played basketball. I'm one of five kids. I'm the youngest girl, I always tried to do what my big brothers did. But nobody, nobody in my family box, it was kind of grown up, I wanted to be the karate kid, I wanted to be Bruce Lee, I was so obsessed with Rocky, so it just kind of happened. >> Yeah, wow, I mean you were obsessed with Rocky, wait a minute, I know some elite athletes, it doesn't just kind of happen, right? You must have really been dedicated to it. >> Yeah, I was dedicated to, I mean, I was a little rough kid growing up, I wouldn't, I wouldn't start fights when I'd finish 'em. >> Oh yeah. >> So, I didn't like to see kids getting bullied, I didn't like getting bullied, so I would always be the one standing up for the bullies, but it wasn't like, I wasn't trying to be a fighter, I do come from a very musically inclined family, very artistic family, fun facts, my father used to actually play with Marky Mark in the funky bunch, she was- >> No, really? >> He was part of the bunch? >> He was part of the bunch, she was the keyboard player, so there was good vibrations everywhere. >> Wait a minute, you're a descendent of Marky Mark, you truly are New England royalty, that is- >> I'll take that. >> I know, that is amazing, and so again, I stress how amazed I am that with the background not in acting, how good an actor you are, I know you have talked about how the discipline and focus of elite boxing has helped you in the acting world. >> Isn't there an element of acting in boxing in the way-ins when you're like glaring at the opponent? You're like fronting a little bit, right? I mean, did that- >> Oh, it's not entertainment business, at the very core of it, we're up on the stage, we're performing, there's a character, I'm not going around one shot and hit people on the street, that's not who I am as a person, but it's also, you have to be an artist, you have to be really calm, you have to prepare, but there are people who build characters, big charismatic entertainment, you know, all that build up is really good for it for people to tune in. I mean, we have some really cool things happening in boxing because of that charismatic type of entertainment value of boxing, so absolutely right, we are performing there. >> Right, I mean, was there ever a moment when you started acting where you were like, you were completely at sea and you were like, you mean, they want me to say these words as if I'm thinking of them now? I mean, you know what I mean? It's a crazy concept, but what helps me is I have a huge imagination, you know, it's not a big surprise I got into acting, it wasn't something that I grew up, I want to be an actor, but I used to have these, like, I love to, like, just people watching observe, so I used to have this character that I used to get my mom stuff, like her jewelry and everything, and I used to have this, I'm from Rhode Island, we have a very heavy accent, but there's some more than others, I used to have this character called Mary, and I used to come off, and I'm like, how are you doing, darling, I love to see it, I used to do this whole thing, and it wasn't so far fit, so it really wasn't, I could immerse myself in this imaginary world anytime, by myself, which is, should be studying, I probably should be studying. People are the child, I don't know why my mom would have to go to the therapist. >> Speaking of your accent, I read that in a true detective night country, you play an Alaskan native, but what I read, and you can tell me if it's true or not, is that your native or island accent would come out frequently enough, that they'd better write that into your character, so that it would be exlikable of all of a sudden, you're like looking at a corpse or something, and you're like, "Oh, that's wicked gross." >> Yeah, I love these as a director, she decided to make my character part of it, because I was, you know, working with the dialogue coach, to keep my quote-unquote accent at bay, I didn't want to sound like Peter Griffin making an investigation, so I just, I think you just sold the next hit series for XBO, by the way, hopefully with you in the lead, it went on. It was weird how your character always had a cup of Duncan in her hand. So in everything you've started so far, from true detective to this new movie, Mercy, you always play people who seem like they could, and would kick your ass at any moment. So, do you ever want to get cast on a different kind of part, like romantic lead in a Hallmark movie? >> I would love to, I would love to, you know, I wanted to have one with some comedy, I would love to do some comedy, I love a challenge, I love something that maybe I'm not as strong as yet, I would love to take any, you know, whatever is meant for me, I don't want to just stick to the, I mean, I can't help the bad assery just trying to prove it. >> It does, it can't, it does. >> I'm sorry. >> How about, how about, let me put some of you, how about a Hallmark movie where you come back to your hometown, leaving the big city, and you find the guy who, you know, broke your heart 20 years before, and it turns out he's a jerk and you beat the crap out of me. I'm sorry, I got, I just, that's happened, it's fine. >> That's another show for HBO, we're, we're lining up projects for you. >> Well, well, Kaylee Reesit is a pleasure to talk to you and we have Astru here as we do with everyone to play a game and in your case we're calling it the future is here. >> And by here we mean Las Vegas because that's where every year the consumer electronic show happens, it just wrapped this year, it's the annual convention where tech companies show off their newest innovations, hopefully to the public that will love them. So we're going to ask you three questions about the CES, consumer electronic show, past and present, if you get too right you want to prize one of our listeners, Bill, who is Kaylee Rees playing for? >> Christopher Wolff of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. >> All right. >> Hey, go birds. >> Here's your first question at the 2017 CES Intel made waves when they introduced their newest VR headset, which they handed out to members of the media along with what, a, a nurse with an IV so they wouldn't have to stop playing and you know, eat, be protective gear for when they banged into each other while playing the games or see barf bags. >> See. >> You're right. You knew it. >> Yeah. >> And you're right. >> Yeah. >> If you've the demo program that they tried out included jumping off helicopters, traveling to Vietnam, flying high with a drone, and in some cases apparently projectile vomiting. All right. Good. You did that really well. Now there are always robots being demoed at CES, but in 2020 the most exciting new robot had one purpose. What was it? A, to open your car door from the inside, if you lock your keys in the car, B, to look up people's names that you have forgotten at a party, or C, to bring you a roll of toilet paper if you run out while you are in the bathroom. >> I'm going to go and see because I hope that exists. >> It does. >> It does. >> A, a tech company partnered with Charmin to create a new robot which you operate with your smartphone from the toilet. >> I need that. >> We all do. But, but here's the thing. So you have the, where with all the, the foresight to set up the robot in this little niche wherever it is, with a roll of toilet paper on it, all set to go. Why don't you just put the roll of toilet paper in the bathroom? All right. >> I've stepped children forget to put it in the bathroom and then you're stuck there with no toilet paper. >> I'm just going to say I haven't seen all of your projects as a performer, but I've never seen you more vulnerable than you were in that home. >> It's that seat that I just gave you like an audition of my vulnerability. >> I know, and I'm, I, I am ready to cast you in your latest project about a vulnerable sensitive woman who's caught in a bathroom with no toilet paper. >> That's going to be my first short. >> We are planning a career here. Okay, last question, you were doing this pretty much about as well as you have done everything else you have ever attempted. At this year's CES, one manufacturer introduced a new device with which you can enjoy music. What is it? A, a large case with two built-in stereo speakers known as an I boom box. Be a lollipop that plays music inside your head when you suck on it or see a robot bassist complete with genuine bassist scent. >> What was B again? >> B was a lollipop that plays music inside your head while you suck on it. >> I'm going B because that sounds kind of cool. >> You're right again. I mean, your competence extends to everything. When you put lollipops scar, that is what it is called in your mouth, it vibrates against your teeth, which connects to your face bones, which connects to your ear bones, and it comes in three flavors or rather, songs. Bill, how did Kayleigh Reese do in our quiz? >> Well, if I don't get it right, she's going to come down and beat the living hell out of this. Fortunately, I don't have to because she is perfect. Three in a row. There you go. And honestly, Kayleigh Reese is an Emmy-nominated actress and member of the International Women's Boxing Hall of Fame. You can see her in the new movie, "Mercy," that is out next week. Kayleigh Reese, what a pleasure to talk to you. Thank you so much for joining us. Don't wait, wait. Don't tell me. >> Thank you. >> Thank you. [MUSIC] >> In just a minute, Bill pays tribute to some great full gams in our listener, Limerick Challenge Ball. One Triple Eight. Wait, wait. To join us on the air, we'll be back in a minute. Don't tell me. From NPR. >> From NPR and W.B. E.C. Chicago, this is, wait, wait, don't tell me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Luke Burbank, Rachel Custer, and Harry Conde de Bolue. And here we get a show host at the Student Maker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter. >> Thank you. - Thank you, Bill. (audience cheering) In just a minute, we get to the rymiest part of our show. It's called The Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play a give us a call of 1,888, wait, wait, that's 1,888, 924, 8,924. Right now, panel some more questions for you from the week's news. Hari, scientists have known for years that unlike all other animals, and this is true, of course, Wombat poop is cube shaped. You all knew that, right? But a new study finally tells us why that is. What's the reason? They're robots. They're not robots, they're Wombats, they're a wonderful Australian marsupial. I guess they have the stinkiest inboxes in the animal kingdom. They're trying to repel predators with what arrives in your inbox? Your inbox. Mail, which is a kind of paper. (audience laughing) Kind of correspondents. It's a way to communicate with the other Wombats. Communicating with other Wombats with their square poop. You got it, yes, that's insane. Some species like us communicate by email or text. Some do it via poop cubes. Here's the amazing part. All the Wombat messages begin. I hope this poop cube finds you well. (audience laughing) If I was pooping square, I'd leave that behind for my roommates to find to send a very powerful message. (audience laughing) I've got something extremely cool going on in my body. Yeah. So Wombats tend to be loners. They avoid each other in the wild, but they like to poop in common areas and they do it to let the other Wombats who are around know that they're there and more or less who they are. It's sort of like very stinky. Hello, my name is Badges, right? And the reason they poop in cubes is, so these very important messages to other Wombats do not roll away. Wow. Isn't that amazing? And it's also so the Wombats can use them as dice afterwards. (audience laughing) Trust me, you do not want to play Wombat Yatsi. (audience laughing) Luke, new editor-in-chief Barry Weiss has been remaking CBS News and in just a few months, I've heard. Yes. And in just a few months, she's already lost a million viewers. So, to make the newscast more fun and relatable, they have announced a new weekly feature in which anchor Tony DeCopel will do what on air? Drink? Yes. San Daniel Whiskey. That's right. CBS News is testing a segment with their new anchor called Whiskey Fridays with Tony DeCopel. I know it's hard to believe. But as Walter Cronkite might say, if he were working at CBS News today, "lash the way it is." (audience laughing) So it means great, drinking segment. Instead of throwing two commercial, they'll throw up two commercial. (audience laughing) And as you said, a picture of the set shows an anchor desk in the middle of what looks like of a homie bar with a Jack Daniel sign prominently displayed. And if you're wondering how this whole idea is being received, Jack Daniels, the company, put out a statement saying they had nothing to do with it. Oh my God. True. Imagine if your behavior is so embarrassing that Jack Daniels doesn't want anything to do with it. (audience laughing) Another W for the Tiffany Network. Exactly. Now, Mr. DeCopel, who is on board with a new program, he posted to Twitter this week, quote, "You may not agree with everything you hear on our broadcast, "but we trust you to hear it," unquote. So I guess. (audience laughing) Wait, it's awesome. You're gonna listen out. I guess we can deduce, it's also Whiskey Tuesdays, we've done a couple of things. Wait, so he's just saying that you might not agree with what we're saying, but you're gonna hear it. The average age of a CBS viewer is like 98. Like, I don't know if they're gonna hear it. - That's true, yeah. - Respectfully. - Respectfully. - Yeah. (audience laughing) - I forgot where it was for a second. - Yeah. (upbeat music) - Coming up, it's Lightning Film The Blank, but first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call and leave a message at 1-888-888-9248-924. You can come see us most weeks right here at the Student Baker Theater in downtown Chicago, and you can also catch us on the road. And, if you live in Chicago, I'm gonna come hang out with our panelists without me constantly interrupting them. Come check out our special comedy grab bag live stand-up show, March 11th at the Den Theater in Wicker Park. Adam Burke will be hosting along with Alzo Slay, Joyel Nicole Johnson, and more for tickets and more information for all of our live events, go to nprpresents.org. And while you're at it, head over to nprshop.org and check out our new merch. Grab one of our new weight-weight teas and sweatshirts and we can be twinsies. Hi, you're on weight-weight, don't tell me. Hi, my name is Ken, and I'm from Champagne, Illinois. Hey, Ken, how are things down to Champagne? A little chilly, little windy, but not too bad. Not too bad, and what do you do there? Well, when I'm not chasing after my four-year-old or working from home, I play a lot of board games. Really? You're one of those board game geeks that I know and admire so much. No, I'm probably a little bit past that. The collection's sitting around 20-100 items. 21-100 different board games? I guess I should ask, what is your favorite? It doesn't quite work like that. [LAUGHTER] Peter, you've embarrassed yourself again. I really have. It's like, wait a minute. So how does it work? Well, OK, what moving would you watch with your kids? And is that the same moving you'd watch with your wife? Well, yes. Parts of the Caribbean, parts of the Caribbean. Well, welcome to the show. Ken Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related Lemrex with a last word of phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word of phrase correctly, and two of the Lemrex, you will be a winner. Ready to fly? Thanks so. OK, here is your first Lemrex. With Bob Weir's guitar in support, the great full-dead, gladly held court. And with his style of dress, his legs would impress. Because he'd cut off his jeans, really. Short. Yes, short. When grateful, dead, founding guitarist, Bob Weir, transitioned to the actual dead last week. Oh. [LAUGHTER] They realized they were asking for it from the beginning for that. Fans around the world pay tribute to him, observing a moment of silence that was in honor of his music 16 minutes long. But people didn't celebrate just his music. They also celebrated his iconic short shorts. There was such a part of his identity that dead heads-- this is true-- do not call, you know, cut off jeans, Daisy Dukes. They call them Bobby Shorts. The rest of us might call them uncomfortably shorts. But if you would just play with his butt cheeks hanging out? Pretty much. Wow. Yeah. All point of those concerts is to trip on drugs, not your pant leg. That's true. So it's important to keep them tight to the body. That's absolutely true. All right, here is your next limerick. Not all princes can dance at our ball. And some short kings might just start a brawl. To enter our club, you can't be a wee cub. You must be at least six feet tall. Yes, a nightclub in London is only letting men enter if they are over six feet tall, as to why they are doing that and what happens inside, how am I supposed to know? They're all just brams of our shelves bumping into stuff. Here, Bill, let me climb into your shoulders. I have an idea. The event, it's one-off events. They've already sold out. It's called Land of the Giants. You know and make this really funny if these guys line up to get in, they get in, and the ceiling of the club is like at five foot ten. And all the guys trying to pick up the girls are coming and are like, hey, ow, I mean, what's your ow, name? Here is your last limerick. My green Buddha gets prayers and respect. You see weird ears, but I didn't check. You say he's an ogre, with bad swampy odors. Turns out I've been praying to-- Shrek. Shrek, yes, about that. A woman in the Philippines worshiped green figurine for four years, believing it was a statue of the Buddha. Only to finally discover it was actually a little figurine of Shrek. Now, I know you're laughing, how could this be? But if you knew what it looked like, it would make more sense to you. First picture, Shrek, that's what it looked like. [LAUGHTER] According to one article about this woman's mistake, quote, with its round shape and gentle expression, she believed it to be a depiction of Buddha and treated it with great reverence. Is it really that much of a mistake? Shrek is also a source of enlightenment. What is the sound of one donkey farting? I have to say I feel for her. As a girl dating in New York City, I've also worshiped the wrong nasty guy for a really long time. And I regretted too. Yeah. We're not going to judge. Bill, how did Ken do in our quiz? He did. Perfect. Way to go, Ken. Congratulations. You won our game. Thank you. Take care. Thank you. Bye. [MUSIC PLAYING] Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Rachel and Luke each have two. Harry has three. All right. Harry is in first place. The other two are tied for second. So I will arbitrarily pick you, Luke, to go first. Here we go. It's a clock we'll start when I begin your first question, fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the White House said it would stop processing blank applications from over 50 countries. Immigration. Close enough of ESA. On Thursday, 17 players were charged with a scheme to shave points during college at blank games. Basketball. Right. This week, Russia launched another massive aerial assault on blank. Ukraine. Right. According to a new poll, over half of Americans think that blank officers are making cities less safe. Ice. Right. After naming his new mega yacht ESA Nami, billionaire Larry Ellison is renaming it because blank. That name was already taken. No, because people pointed out that it spells "I am a Nazi" backwards. On Wednesday, the IOC began a lottery to win tickets to the 2028 summer games in blank. Los Angeles. Right. This week, IOC officials said they definitely be ready for the upcoming Winter Olympics in Milan, despite reports that the ice hockey rink had blank melted. No, a hole in it. Olympic officials in Italy said the country will be 100% ready to host the Winter Games, despite the test event of the hockey arena being delayed, thanks to a hole in the ice. They should model their prep on the TV show He Did Rivalry where the only holes are off the ice. We were all curious about how that sentence was going to end. Bill, how did Luke do in our quiz? He had five right, ten more points, total to twelve, puts him in the lead. Alright, very good, Luke. Rachel, you're up next. I'm ready. Here we go. On Thursday, President Trump threatened to invoke the Insurrection Act to quell the protests in blank. Right. On Sunday, the DOJ said they'd opened a criminal investigation into Federal Reserve Chair blank. I don't know. Jerome Powell. Sorry about that. It's okay. On Wednesday, Microsoft agreed to pay higher electricity bills in cities where they billed blanks. Day to center is last right. This week a bear in California who was finally removed from a crawl space by wildlife officials immediately blanked. Poops. No, moved into a neighbor's crawl space. On Monday. On Monday, luxury retailer blank filed for bankruptcy protection. Right. That, you know, on Sunday. On Sunday, Hamnet and one battle after another with the big winners at the 20. This week, a man who had collected a jar full of valuable U.S. coins was shocked when his partner blanked. Stuck them. No, when brought them to the store and exchanged them all for a couple of dollars. No, man's partner took the jar full of old coins. Some he collected years ago and that were worth a thousand dollars each and brought them to the store, you know, to get rid of all that. Lose change, get paper money, although lucky for him, and this is true, she did save among all the coins the Chuck E. Cheese tokens that were in there. The man was disappointed to lose such a valuable coin collection, but the woman is making up for it by mailing him a apology note every day using those old stamps he had lying around. Bill, how did Rachel do in our quiz? For right. Eight more points. Ten puts her in second place. All right. How many then does hearty kind of the balloon need to win? Five to win. All right, here we go. Harry, this is for the game. On Tuesday, Bill and Hillary Clinton refused to appear before the House Oversight Committee investigating the blank files. Epstein, right? Amid the ongoing government crackdown, several European countries urged their citizens to leave blank. Leave their homes. No, leave Iran. On Wednesday, an outage of blank cellular network left tens of thousands without service. Verizon? Yes. This week a TV station in Japan regularly interrupted a horror movie to broadcast a monk who offered a prayer every time the evil ghost killed someone. Don't want people to worry. After a four year hiatus, K-pop giants blank announced a world tour. Right. This week blank rates fell to their lowest level in three years. Interest? Close enough mortgage rates. This week a man developed a new invention that you affixed your cars back. Bumper that allows the cars behind you to blank. Go to hell. No. Nor does it suggest that they do that. No, it allows the people in the cars behind you to watch tiktoks while they are all stuck in traffic with you. It's called honk to swipe. It's a tablet attached to the back of your car that lets people watch tiktok and scroll to the next video by honking their horn. The tablet, of course, is mounted high on the car above the trunk, so it won't be ruined when people inevitably rear end your car because they are watching tiktok. Build it. How are you doing enough to win? Well, he did well. He got four right. Eight more points for eleven, but that means Luke is our champion. Congratulations. Coming up our panelist predict now that we're going back to the moon, what are we going to find there? But first, let me tell you all. Wait, wait, don't tell me. It's a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with urgent haircut productions. Doug Berman, benevolent overlord. Philip Gautica writes our lemmrix. Our public address and answer is Paul Friedman, our tour manager Shayna Dommeld, thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre. B.J. Leedham composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dumbass and Lily and King. Special thanks this week to Mohanad El Shehi and Monica Hickey. Peter Gwyn will defend Gwynland at all costs. Our visual host is Emma Choi, technical directionist from Lorna White, our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert, new house, our senior producers Zee and Cho-Log and the executive producer. A wait-wait, don't tell me. It's Mike Danforth. And before we leave you this week, we lost our former senior producer Murad Abid, none to us and all his many friends at NPR News as Rod. Rod, let our show in the early years when it was a struggling show when just a few stations to a mainstay of public radio, most importantly, by taking us from recording in a studio each week to in front of a live audience, which is why, in my opinion, we are all still here. So we owe Rod a tremendous debt and if you enjoy our show, you do too. Now, pal, when we go to the moon again, what are we gonna find? Luke Burbeck, a platoon of Scandinavian swimmers. Rachel Costa. He's already seen someone. We waited. And Harry Cundabolo, Jimmy Hoffa. And if any of that happens, panel, we'll ask you about it. And wait, wait, don't tell me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Rachel Costa, Harry Cundabolo and Luke Burbeck. Thanks to all of you for listening. I'm Peter Saga. We'll see you next week. This is NPR.