Would I Lie To You?

Good evening, gentle listeners, or watchers, and welcome! Too destractable! This episode, non-biputal bob's baby flies the coop that he forces his friends to fib. Wisened Wade doesn't defeat decrepitude, threatens him franticide, lips amundine, then thinks hard. Melisted Mark breaks a metabone, gets technical about shooting, the nose is necromancy, and dishwashers from e-mail overload to the female orgasm. It's time for. would I lie to you? Now sit back, I'm prepared to be distracted, and enjoy the show. Hello and welcome back to another episode of the longest running episodic chronicling of three men aging ungracefully. That's right, it's time for another episode of Distractable! Oh, man. Come on, guys. I got cast on my leg, or I'm not feeling good about where my situation is, doesn't really reflect that much on you guys. I feel pretty reflected. It's just your ball, bald head. That's right, I'm your host, my name's Bob, I won the last one somehow. I don't remember feeling like I should have won, but I did, and so I get to host this. The two other voices you've heard so far are, of course, Mark and Wade, they're always here. One of them's gonna win, unless I do. We just had that happen with, with Wade, with the back-to-back, so you don't know. I thought really good, that felt really good. But probably one of them's gonna win, they're gonna host the next one. La, blah, blah, there's other rules, we don't remember them, we're gonna apply them at random. Before we get into the game that I have planned for today, that I worked on, I think I could say hours, I spent hours on this, might be embarrassing, depending on how the game goes. Small talk. How are you guys doing today? Very good. Wonderful. Thanks for asking. It sounds good. I have to, I'm turning into, you know, Adam Driver's character in SNL, he was the oil tycoon, stab the bird. I feel like day by day I'm turning into that man with my various business center prizes in the various, I have to send so many emails. I never imagined I would be at this point in my life where my entire existence revolves around sending emails. That's what I'm doing day and day. To whom it may concern. Go fuck yourself. I hope you die. And, you know, man, business is so hard. When 15 years ago, Mark made that choice, and was like, look, I could have a job in biomedical engineering where I send a lot of emails, sit at a desk, or I could have fun with my life. Never saw this coming. I look at Mark, I just want to say, who's HR Pickens? Exactly. I think it was HR Pickens. His name was like something, something, partners. I just remember when he stabbed his cane through the bird and everyone was just like, process it going to like that. Very good character. I would watch a whole movie based on that character. You got cast and X-Men or something, I think, or like for 2028. I saw that he introduced his character by their civilian name, and I don't know enough about it to know what that means, but apparently he's going to play someone in the X-Men people. I've learned most of my Marvel lore and X-Men lore and everything else from watching movies in the last 10 years or so. I guess it's been more than 10 years or so. Yeah, almost 21 might say. It's not that bad, man, it's not that bad. It's not your fault. Just wait till you hear when you were born. I think every time someone has a revelation like that, they actually physically grow older in that moment, because their brain is like, oh yeah, we're older. Hit the button. If it's so many moments where I've pictured myself as Matt Damon aging and saving private Ryan, that gift of him just like, okay, well, it's not that bad, man. It's not that bad. He's a little sad when he's doing it, but it's not that bad. It's me, Matt Damon. Yeah, that's how he talks. So they go, Matt Damon. His eyes are actually perfectly open when he's old. I'm looking at it right now. It's just like, no, that's not it. No, he's looking at a grave. Remember, he's looking at a grave. For listeners, Wade just did a one-for-one recreation of the scene from saving private Ryan, where they age Matt Damon to be very, very old. That is, that is. Look, with Sam's assistance, no one will ever know I didn't pull it off. Right, Sam? Chuck it about hot and fast. Right, Sam? Well, today's a big day for me too, and I'm allowed to talk about small talk. I couldn't keep it in. I'm sorry. I already said this to you guys, but James' first day of pre-school was today. We did the old picture by the front door. He got a new, but his first-ever backpack, carried it proudly to school. It's like way too big for him, because even the smallest backpack that we could find at the store is for like, I don't know, five-year-old and he's three, but I think he had a good time. Yeah, I told you, before we. I don't know if it's before we were recording, but you're screaming and moaning, but I think he just had to go down for nap time. It was so good he didn't want to come home. That's why he was sad. I mean, almost definitely. If there's anything that I know, James would enjoy. It's a room full of other kids who are not allowed to leave, and they're all supposed to play together and work and become friends. His biggest sadness in life is when we go to the playground and like other kids are already doing something else, and he just comes and is like, "Can I play?" And they're like, "We're high schoolers, you can't play with us," and then they leave, and he's like, "I could, I could have done it." Why are those guys so fucking mean to me? I could have done it. They know he'd come steal their girls. He's gonna steal yours first. He's not subtle about working on that either. He is not. Right in front of you. Don't leave shit. He is very bossy. I got to respect it. If I lose, I lose at this point. Like, "Yeah, it's, it's, it's, you complacency." "Game on." "Game on." Whoa, hey, wait, I have to, I have to ask. You're not gonna, you're not playing on doing anything to my three-year-old son, right? We'll see how far he's willing to go, man. If he escalates, I'm escalating. I don't like that answer. That's not a good answer. That's unsatisfactory. Check minus on your report card there. You have a report card in front of you. You could, you could do things like that. Mr. Judge Sir. Good point. No, wait, hold on. No, no, no. I'm aging again. I'm aging again. Sam. No, make him, Sam, make him younger. Actually, that works. That's you get fine in other age where ball is totally appropriate. Wait, I'm a baby again. That means Game on, but James again. We're the same age now. The story's getting a little complicated. Not true. It's like a combination of Benjamin Button and the Notebook. I'm probably not the Notebook. I just don't know a lot of romance movies. I've never watched the Notebook, so I don't know. Oh, wedding crashes. That's probably not a romance movie. Honestly, the Notebook is a good movie, unless you have dementia in a family member or something, and it is possibly the saddest for me, like the scariest movie I've ever watched. To be with the choose your own, so people were asking, hey, wait, great episode. Wait, we're just completely rip off supernatural because it's a supernatural episode about like a pagan god where a town makes sacrifices, but I was like, okay, if one, there's like an ex files episode. I think there's an entire goose bumps episode that came out before supernatural with that. And then children of the corn, like, there's a lot of things. And then half of every indie horror game ever made is kind of also cult in town. Outlast two is like all cult in town. That one with the goat. So not only did you rip off that one episode, you ripped off everything in the world. Norse mythology, the harvesting gods, the Venerer, Venerer, whatever. I played Fear's the Fathom recently, and that's kind of like got that town culty vibe to it. There's a lot of, a lot of town culty vibe things. So if you guys are going to blame me for ripping off supernatural, give credit to the other things I ripped off too. Actually, you know, there was a 1973 film by the name of cult town. Damn it. We used to make that joke all the time. I remember how unoriginal you've been this whole time. Whenever I was writing it and I came up with the name of the shepherd, every time I would write down that word, all I would hear is like mass effect people going shepherd. That's what I got to, but I didn't want to say anything to ruin the mood. Every time I hear the word shepherd, I'm like shepherd. This is my favorite cult in the citadel. Shepard, my quads, my quads, shepard. I asked shepard, my calibrations. Calibrate in a shepduddy. What was the other Krogan's name, the one that no one liked? It was like the two baby Krogan or something like that. Oh, I really can't remember. I remember that character vividly because he's talking annoying, but I, yeah, Rex stands out like super hard. I can't remember the other ones name. There's only two things I remember from Mass Effect 2 and it's Miranda. Why? What does that mean? That's funny. Explain it. Uh, because I love the voice actress Yvonne Strahowski. I think if you just made said that and didn't make those noises, I'd feel way better about it. Wait, I know we've covered this before, but so Miranda was your romance of choice. Oh, yeah. I was tally. The only one that I don't have any, any respect for is Liyara. Anyone that's like, I remember this Liyara. I'm like, that's the worst choice. That's terrible. That doesn't, that doesn't make any sense to me. You know what? That's, that's not okay. Well, it's been a long time, but I have done playthroughs both with Miranda and Tally. It's though the only correct choices, really. Those definitely be my top two. I can't remember all the other characters. You could remember it's like Ashley or what was the guy's name that everyone that died in the first one. For no particular reason. The people working on him in the third Game being like no one's gonna ever see this no one ever has done this is for the three of you that killed actually the voice actor for that It's like you guys are gonna call me back right for the game This is name I can't remember Caden Carl Tim game. That was right. Wow. Let's do that right. Hey, see see. Oh, Caden. I definitely let you die I have one more thing I got one more if if you don't mind last week I went down whoops upside down hold on And it's I went down to go pro not headquarters. I was not shot in the middle of the desert. I Met them and they were very Respectful happy to see me. I met the team and then they handed me These plastic Waddle shatter crash noise explosion in the background Anyway, look I have it The lens looking like it weighs three times the amount the camera does is crazy I absolutely checked in because you did a stream like that afternoon or that night I went to the stream because I was like I got to know what happened and you it I saw that it was fine But the only other thing I do know is I saw a clip of you I was you be like Showing it off and then being like it's brand new. I just got this drop Something hits the desk and you're going. It's not broken. It's not it's not Why don't you break it wasn't the camera itself. It was a mount. So this is it was something called a Metabone speed booster. So it's the plastic case that that came in Metabones does have some answering to do because that that is a brand new thing I got from them. It was a sharp inside one of the retaining walls of plastic Shared it off and then even inside the metadata bones like little clip There was another piece. I was broken inside of it. So that's supposed to be brand new and that thing that that thing was very Very not new feeling so some sketchy shit going on there. This camera is all lens and this is a tiny lens. It is so small It looks like the camera set up that like a chipmunk thick filming the chipmunk NFL would use You know sport sports photographers always have like fucking two two-foot-long Lenses, this is so fun. It is everything. I was hoping it would be by I'm doing a video where I compare it to just about every camera I own and I own some really high-end cinema cameras and there are some There are some things that this thing can do that those cannot do Like 4k 240 is is such a really nice slow-motion frame rate My reds can't do that or at least the commoto cannot do that Look at this is the stubbier 9 millimeter one. It looks very satisfying. It's so it's like golden baby shoes You know, it's like this is oh It's so dainty and cute It's so I fucking It's the perfect intersection of like all of my interests like lens I'm literally surrounded by lenses of course. You mean the camera not baby shoes, right? Yes, well But it's just so fucking cute. It's so useful. It's so fun I also think it's a incredible. Anyway, I could I could go on about it for ages, but I'm gonna let I'm gonna let the video do the talking Because I'm preparing it for when you know pre-orders are gonna go up and I have Probably tomorrow. I'm going to try to set all things up so I can get I'm gonna have Jason in his workshop like Welding in slow motion and I'm gonna have him like see any stuff do word woodworking. I'm gonna light it all nice And I'm gonna have this literally riding on top of my red camera and all my other cameras as I do like slider shots Yeah, can you just call to that on top of a camera? Yeah, absolutely. I totally could I I could get a little Three-eighths to cool to you or quarter or whatever it is to to cool to adapter I could put it right on there or I could have a little magic arm so I can put out there You just balance it so when are you gonna get the shot where you take it and Skip it across the surface of your pool and slam it into the wall of the far side at a hundred miles an hour I already have that shot. I could pull it out. I just didn't I didn't post it. I'm so excited about this I think as far as like people's first cinema camera or like introduction to it This is one of if not the best option that'll come out for people getting started in that world And it's just such a fun option, especially when some cameras are coming out like cinema cameras and they're like I mean the the cheapest red is $7,000, you know the the the new FX-5 got announced And I don't even know what the price of that thing is. Well, I have to imagine too for for traveling Even bringing like a DSLR with you know a moderate assortment of lenses if you're trying to travel and do like a shoot somewhere or something Compared to that where it's literally like the tiniest pelican case thing that they make Yeah, you can just chuck it in your backpack or like fit it in your in your carry on with the rest of your stuff You need like some of the new Sony cameras don't even come with lenses You just have to download them and hope that the license for them doesn't expire now wait a minute You wouldn't download a lens would you Where she would why not technically in the way when I got the the macro adapter for that one I guess I kind of downloaded that lens. Anyway, so it's it's very cool and I think that people are going to find a lot of cool things to Use it for bless you the first person that I know personally to have one Yeah, I'm the first person of the three here that has it. We're the only ones you know I know more people personally than just us. Okay. I have four pinned text conversations in my iMessage app I uh real quick health update. I jumped off a diving board for the first time in like a year I my knee was I got the jump. What'd you break? Nothing almost my spine but I landed a little bit harder on the deep end than I expected to so like my back was like Hey, but it's fine. Everything's fine. You landed on the deep end like on the the bottom Yeah, well, I didn't like my very first jump I was like well, I'm not kind of like cannonball or anything. I want to like have my knee hit first So I'll just like pencil jump in and you go down really fast and I was like my knee. It feels great Hit spot of a floor. It doesn't bend legs. It's fine Nice nice It's like better not bend my knees. That'd be a terrible idea. Wait. No, it would So all my favorite football players say the moment you get hit what you want to do is Defisible or made of stone Nothing bends that way you survive with no injuries. I should have I always I always been my knees man Like I don't watch in college basketball as a kid and I played basketball a couple of those injuries where someone would like jump To like block something and land and not been there lay in and they're like leg would snap. I hate that so much So like whenever I did that I was like good thing there was water because that would have been the end of me otherwise I'm starting to ramp up physical activity again. I can walk. I try diving board and leg good leg good I can't wait till I'm allowed to walk again ready. It is getting better But I still have like a month minimum of not really supposed to be walking at all So does that mean you can't like swim or anything too for however long? Not even at all. I can barely take a shower because I have the cast. I have odd I'm not allowed. I'm not supposed to get wet at all if it gets more than just droplets on it I'm supposed to go and have them replace it and uh, yeah I mean I get replaced once a week anyway because they cut it open and they have to look at the the wound on my foot But oh my god someday I'll be allowed to walk like a human. It's nice. It's nice coming back after like two months of I'll blend along. It's it was nice to like move again someday. Hey, you guys want to play a game? Sure Uh first I would flip a coin so you get to go first Lion is weighed lady is mark. Sure This is a normal coin. Don't question it. I see a lady I'm usually lady so whatever he said at this time. I was like, oh, I'm not lady for once Today's game is gonna be called When I lie to you Yes. Yes. Yes. Ding. Yes. Whoa I'm not the one who will be saying what I lie to you nor will I be the one who's lying Okay, you guys are gonna take turns and I'm gonna say because it's marks turns first I'm gonna give you I'm gonna send you a message first The message is going to first say Whether the the fact that I'm sending you is true or false and then it's going to have a fact That I want you to say as convincingly as possible or maybe as unconvincingly as possible Is there just a list of accumulated facts and some of them are true and some of them are false But all of them hopefully sound like they could be true or sound so silly But are actually you know, sound like they should be false, but they are true Tried my best to get a range of facts. So I'm gonna tell you this is a lie or this is true Okay, I'm gonna send you the thing and your job as the person who has to say the fact is obviously to totally ignore The first message I send you and not let that play on your psyche at all and then convincingly Communicate the fact. Yeah, so no matter what I'm just trying to say what you send as honestly as possible Yeah, unless maybe you know that it's true or like it's you know, I see the one of them is like the earth is round and you're like well Okay, yes, but you can try and say it deceptively, but like it's a game of reading each other. You do have to have your eyes open for this one, Wade. No, Wade, you can close your eyes. Close your eyes, Wade. This is true. True or false? We're going to try really hard not to send the message to the wrong person or say it out loud. All right. But Mark, here is your first fact and then Wade, observe focus. All right. So if you were to take every single bacteria on the planet and you were to stack them up on top of each other, one single bacteria on top, it would stretch for a single continuous line for 10 billion light years. Do you know what a light year is? Yeah, I heard that from Toy Story. 10 billion light years, 10 billion light years. That's so oddly specific. I want to believe it's true, but that sounds too big. I don't even know. What's the size of the universe? Is that like that's beyond the distance that we can perceive anything? Right? Because like what? I don't know. I don't know enough about like space and trade. Sorry, I'm not participating again. It just sounds like a really big number. So far, if you'd said like to the moon or Mars or something, I'd be like, oh, that's crazy. But to 10 billion light years sounds unfathomable. I'm gonna say false. That one is true. I meant true. That means I win, right? Another way to phrase that would be to say that Earth's 0.001 millimeter long microbes could wrap around the Milky Way over 20,000 times if you like did it in a circle around the Milky Way. You know, even when he typed that to me, it he was like, this is true. I really was like, that seems alive. Even in my head as I was saying, I was like, man, I'm trying to convince him that this is true. How do I, how do I feel convincing? Because 10 billion light years is a lot. But then again, there's a lot of bacteria on the planet. I mean, yeah, there he is, but like, I feel like the planet would have to be bigger to hold that much stuff. But even like right here on the palm of my hand, even if I've just washed it, there's probably still going to be millions on my just my hand, right? Yeah, but like, you don't stretch out your hands and all of a sudden you're slapping Venus on the ass, you know? Well, I mean, maybe maybe you know, look, me and Venus were very close. And if I want to slap Venus on the ass with my hand a bacteria, is that good for Mark that I was wrong? Or does Mark want, does he want me to be right? The person stating the fact or, or the lie is attempting to deceive, right? So Mark won because he got, he, you said the wrong, you chose the wrong answer. And Mark deceived you and the guesser wins when they accurately guess. So you, when you're picking true or false, you want to be right because that means you were not deceived. Well, how many times in a row could I possibly lose a coin flip anyway? I just, you know, a lot. Oh, all right. Wait, I am sending you your factoid. Mark, wearing a tie could reduce blood flow to your brain by seven and a half percent. Okay, I would believe that wearing a tie would could reduce blood flow, but it's weirdly specific percentage. Seven and a half percent. How do you even measure? Is that like a known lie number? Oh, you're thinking about like, yeah, I like, how would they just determine that percentage? They use the metrics as the blood monitor. What do they get? Like, 100% what, what could other percent? So they're, they got like, kill a percent, percent grade. Is that where centigrade comes from? Yes, yes. Man, I'm going to say it's false just based on seven and a half seems like a weird number. I guess 10 billion light years also seems like a weird number. But I'm just going to say, babe, false. The fact was true. A study in 2018 found that wearing an acti can reduce blood flow to your brain by up to seven and a half percent. It could also increase the pressure in your eyes if your tie is on too tight. And also ties carry a lot of germs, which I hadn't thought about until I put this together. But do you wash your ties? You ever washed a tie? That's a good question. I guess I haven't. So how many functions have you worn that tie at where you maybe like shook hands with people or hugged people? You never get swat. I've owned ties for literally like almost two decades because I still have a couple ties that I got in like high school, little school high school era that I don't really wear because they're kind of old and beat up. But that's two decades worth of germs and shit soaked into that bad boy. That's crazy. So anyway, no one should wear ties because they're fucking gross. Yeah, and dress socks. You don't wash those right? You don't wash dress socks. I've never washed a single item of clothing I've ever worn. Why would you? True. I believe you true. All right, Mark. I am. I wish I had thought of a more efficient way to do this. And I'm not having trouble copying and pasting stuff. There is your factoid, Mark. Oh, I had this thought too because both of the first two ones had numbers in them. You don't have to say all the info that I send you. If you think it will help you be deceitful, if you thought 10 billion light years was a lot of light years, and you were hoping, I guess you can't lie. So that one, you can't really, but like for ways, you could just say it could reduce the blood flow to your brain. Can't lie. I can't add stuff you're making up necessarily, but you can leave if it's if it's a complicated fact, you can leave stuff out. I got it. Okay. Wait. Look down. Look at your hands. What do you see? Do you see the toil that the years have plagued them? Do you see how they've changed from friend you were a child? Do you see how they have evolved? Yes. The story those hands tell. The places they've touched. The things they have grasped. Now look at your nails. Oh God. Same a little longer, don't they, huh? Yeah. Did you know your nails grow faster in summer? That feels awesome, but I don't know what nails are made of carrot juice or something. Yeah. Yeah. Carrot juice. And we get carrots in from not carrots, probably. I don't think so. Yeah. I think you're right. Carrots grow in the summer, but isn't it growing the winner? This is exactly where I hope this game would go. Frosty, a lot hornier in the summer when he's dying. He's carrot nose. God, that feels so stupid. So I'll say true because I don't believe it. That one is true. It's true. And I think I know why. It's because your circulation is better in warmer weather. So in the summer, in the cold, your blood goes away from your extremities. But in the warm temperature, your blood goes to your extremities more readily. I think that's probably the only reason why I would grow faster. Did you reason that out yourself? Because that's exactly what I got from the place where I found the source of that fact. I was also thinking like back years and years and years ago in the snow. If your nails grow all summer, you'd have natural snow shovels for the winner. Now, this guy's thinking that now that that is a thought that is one thought. I thought that he thought that I believe that he thought that true. Don't overheat yourself with all this thinking. Oh, God. Oh, my nails guys. It's getting too crazy in here. That's okay. Wait, I have sent you your factoid mark. Both hair and nails continue to grow after you die. Now, I actually know this one. I know this one. This is false. You are correct. This is false. Why do you know that? What the hell? Honeycorp is that you hanging out with? Oh, you know, I've watched a lot of death in my time. I've seen it up close. I got my macro lenses on all the bodies that I see you after they pass. I have extensive collections of footage from all kinds of angles of everything. I have a library of it. Let's just say I'm well researched in the topics of death. That is one of those things they say, though, like whenever you're growing up, I remember hearing that like, oh, yeah, your nails and hair will continue to grow. That was a thing. Yeah. So that is a thing. But I do know that that's false because originally as a kid, I was like, they said that and I was like, whoa. And then I remember like, I don't know, probably a Reddit post or something. I was like, it's not true. It's just because your skin recedes when you die. Well, Mark just stealing all my thunder from everything. The prevailing theory is that when you die, your body begins to dehydrate, which causes your skin to pull back and shrink, which makes your nails and the hair appear longer. Chokes on them. I'll still be bald. That'll be weird. You died. Then I'll say, I should mirror college. Oh, he did have hair in there. He was just hiding it. We find out that all the hair I thought wasn't growing was in growing. So it's just like afro tucked in like, wait, your forehead, the wrinkles are starting to really come and it's like, no, it's just the hair trying to escape the skin layer. Man, I hate that. I have a natural helmet of hair under my skin. Gross. Don't worry. Your fact is coming, Mark. You like this one? Wait, there might be a cure for evil. I'm waiting for more. That's a fact. You could take that into the bank. Well, psychopathy anyway, maybe I'm just going to go with true because that's hard to disprove a negative. So I feel like I was set up for finishing. It's a lot of wriggle room in a might. Now that I'm seeing it in context, I see, I see the issue with that one that you're right. That is true. That's pretty crazy. If that was just straight up false, I guess there's definitely definitely no cure for evil. Just kill Those fuckers rehabilitation done to work proven in this one sentence anyway. The way that was phrased is pretty unfortunate But there is a research. It's preliminary but those research that suggests that computer-based cognitive training Can help a person who is a psychopath experienced empathy and regret? Assume that those could be traits that are imparted and last beyond the therapy sessions Effectively carrying them off being a psychopath. Guess the thing about being a psychopath is that you don't feel empathy or regret or stuff, right? Yeah, so a lot of times a psychopathy that people are born with like the psychopathic trait doesn't mean anything comes of it But if they actually become and start doing evil things usually there's like a trigger in life But from what I've understood like even at birth the predisposition to Psychopathy itself is already there like the not feeling of emotion. No, no, I've seen this in Dexter That how to turn a baby evil you dip them in a puddle of blood That's it According that you remember who you've seen Dexter. That's it. That's all it's a you as soon as a baby touches a puddle of blood They're evil and they will kill I thought the blood of like a hundred virgins was supposed to give you eternal life or something It made you evil not evil straight up evil. So there you go the cutest psychopathy is just don't dip in blood We solved it. That's it. Yeah, and then do the opposite of blood to become good. She is You know, I don't want to say that's the opposite of blood I'm pretty sure that just makes the baby super evil. I think that Discuss further in the same direction. There's a lot of problems with the that thought experiment We shouldn't move on immediately. Yep, it's him. He did it officers. It was him. I'm Pope. I'm pointing at Wade Whoa, Sam make Mark pointed himself All right, Wade, you have your factoid all right, oh man. Mark didn't have to read much at all I got to go back to choose your own adventure It needs a little explanation because I wasn't sure of I didn't know what this what this thing was So I wanted to make sure everyone was on the same page mark No, a glass sponge is a deep-sea animal with a skeleton made of silica the exact same material used to make glass Glass sponges can live for 15,000 years Okay, so we got to evaluate a lot of things here are are there a glass sponges? Okay, that's the first question I can confirm to you. I will say that is true We can operate with the understanding that a glass sponge is a documented a real life deep-sea creature This is one of those things where it's like if one is false then the whole thing is false of these Oh, yeah, this is this is endgame blueprints box is bullshit the explanation of the glass sponge was just to be clear that We're not deciding if the animal exists. We're deciding how long they can live the factoid at issue is they can live for 15,000 years I'm not very good at looking to how these things are gonna play out in practice I'm just approaching at the wall. No, I like throwing Mark a paragraph It'd be like is any of this false or we got to look up if there's any like cave paintings of glass sponges Cave people were deep sea exploring Jesus is pet glass sponge is still going on his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandson still has it Oh, Timmy the sponge. I remember in the old testament They were talking about it and then the eighth plague the glass sponges rose When Jesus walked on water he was actually just stepping across glass sponges But no one could tell because they were clear. Yeah, they didn't notice. He's going I I bet wrong by thinking that a specific number was weird with seven and a half So I'm gonna do the opposite and I'm gonna run into a brick wall by doing it I bet and I'm gonna say this is true But I'm guessing it's not but I'm saying it's true and of course this fact is true Okay, all right scientists actually hypothesize that these things could theoretically be immortal that they are alive but given the nature of their biology They kind of could live forever, but obviously that's pretty tough to document given the linearity and Stationarity of time, but maybe someday we'll know if they do live forever I didn't know this but glass actually is it's made up of silica, but not even the majority of it I was under the impression that you could just melt sand and you would boom get glass. That's not it Yeah, kind of the kind of same for modern glass. You need soda ash and limestone To to make it and then other ingredients to melt down with it those things aren't clear at all So if you get lime soda, you could just have all everything ready from one go. Yeah, yeah, what he said wait false No, but the lime in the coke you know, no, I'm not giving you a play for that. No, but actually a lot of old glass Was made of a material called mica because it's a naturally forming mineral that's Transparent and you can cut it really easily into thin sheets and it's it's like got that it's if you see old like windows They're brown. They have that brown and kind of rough texture to them. It's mica. It's really interesting knowledge If you're gonna replace old glass make sure you get replace all of it though because old glass kind of looks down on new glass Because you know not really been around it understand the customs and traditions. Yeah, I see where you're going with that I don't I'm just saying yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well good one Mark. Okay. That was a good one Also, you have your fact by definition a snake's body is a limb Yeah, it's a penis I don't know what the definition of a limb technically is so like well, you got the definition right there by definition Every time the bangles score touchdown to snake bodies up, baby Something about this just feels weird because a snake still has organs and I just shit. I don't know what the exact definition of a limb is I'm gonna say false See you forgot the tail Now it's false. Oh, I was like I mean I could see it, but also that feels just not right I don't know how it does if you don't know what a limb is because honestly this is this is one where like if that was true I wouldn't even I would just be like oh, that's really interesting man being as I have to guess It's like what that one feels just naturally true So let me think about it for minutes like well, this thing's body literally you eat digested chips and pisses and all that stuff It's like I don't know that a limb is supposed to have those functions I don't know. Yeah, let me look at the definition of limb an arm leg or wing of a person or animal So tails tails aren't limbs some species have like prehensile tails So it's like it's not a limb, but they can use it kind of like a limb. Okay. Oh, interesting. All right So apparently a tail is a limb if it's prehensile that is that is a separate but then again Yeah, this is just one of those things where scientists are defining things and we have to go with like oh Pluto's not a planet Pluto is a limb, right I think that's the conclusion we can reach here penis Why do we all search jerk it off? I just unlocked something in the male braid. I'm all the listeners at home too. We're like Realize that the audience is going to run with a joke really hard Just know you're in that moment. Oh, yeah, your penis is a limb, right? Any time someone sells you something that's false like yeah, that's wrong, but if they tell you something you believe Whoever's turn it is I sent you a thing. Wait, you have a thing mark. Hmm your pinky toe or tiny toe the toenail on that toe your little toe is called a Spongal I think you said it Spongal. I think he said it right. Yes. This is like the fundus all over again Not that you guys ever encountered this but it's like the fundus is a part of the uterus Oh, they said fun dip and I was like I don't think that's like fun dip at all. Oh, it's a fun dip for me No, wait, was that a is that a redacted reference? I think I do remember that. Yeah, we were looking at the anatomy of uterus the back of the uterus or back. I guess top. I don't know back the farthest part from the Entrance of the uterus called the fundus and then you're supposed to tell me that the toenail specifically on the pinky is called a Spongal Yeah, if this was true I wouldn't want to live in a world where it was because this just feels like some scientist when a ride with me I'm saying it's false because I don't want it to be true and that's the only reason Well, you got the vancomen you got the stance the spangler the Zedmore the Spongal the four ghost busters and then the one who got rejected Well, boy, do I have some fat news? Wait, because that's false. Okay. Good. I knew that it said that in my document I was about to like flip the coin because I like I declare we all define that is not No, it's a lot to call that a Spongal ever again We've got it right like every time I think right the person calling I missed the seven and a half Yeah, you guys have done really well. You've done really well. It's okay Mark. I'm giving you a really tricky one. Okay Gold nuggets were named after chicken nuggets. - What's so funny, Wade? - Just try a picture of an old prospector like walk around with his panhandle and he's like, "There, my dino nuggies, ready yet?" (upbeat music) - I don't know if they had done it. They had amorphous chicken nuggets, I think, back in the day, but I don't know, when was the first chicken nugget? - I want to say false, this feels, that feels wild. - I think chicken nuggets were named after gold nuggets. - I really thought Wade would go for that one. - That is false. - It was a dab, you know? - Oh no. - I might have to take a point away just for that, but no way, hold on, give, give, help. I need all the help I can get. - But did the chicken nugget get named after the gold nugget? Was it reverse? Was I right? - I know, some of these false ones I literally just made up, so I don't have explanations for them necessarily. - Okay, so the original definition of nugget is specifically for solid lumps of precious metal. So it might actually be that the opposite is true. - Hey, hey, hey, good job, brain. - Yeah, it's Wade's turn. - I did not almost just send the wrong message to the wrong person. - Oh, I forgot you said to you. That was like, oh, shit, I didn't look up a fact. - Wait, find a fact. All right. - Mark, did I just get an email truthful? (laughing) - Good luck. All right, Mark, we're speed, we're speed running, Mark. Plants came before seeds. Can you say it in a less presidential voice? - Plants came before seeds. - Oh, clearly that's Ulysses S Grant. Give me a non-presidential voice. - That's came before seeds. - Oh, man, Roosevelt, get outta here. (laughing) - Plants came before seeds. - Carter? - Damn it. (laughing) - That sounds just like a peanut farmer. - Nixon? (laughing) - I'm not a plant. I mean, I get, okay, I'm thinking back to it. You know the game's spore. - Oh yeah. - Bore, content creator, yeah. - Abomination creator, yes. - What was that? (humming) There was no, you couldn't play as a plant in that, right? You had to be an aminol of some type. - It was like a me butter or something. - I kind of would want to, I think that this is true because I feel like there's probably a world where like certain types of lichen or things are that were the first plants or maybe something underwater. And it probably wouldn't be like seeds. They would probably reproduce in the same way that bacteria would wear. They'd just, first plant locked up, it was like, "Hey, I'm Jonathan." And then they fuck and smoke cigarettes. - Yeah, man, back when the trees fucked, that was rough times. (laughing) - It's so crazy. Shit out there, man. If two trees fucking the woods, I'm traumatized to see animal population. (laughing) - Oh, got the ends from Lord of the Rings. - If two trees fucking the woods and no one's around to hear it, who has to pay child support? (laughing) - Wanna really angry bush on the edge of the forest? - I forget which way to go, but I think I'll read it to you again. So you can, "Plants came before seeds." - Clinton? - President Kermit? - Let's say true, just because probably. - It's true. - I wrote down true on my paper. That's not what I meant. - Well, you get a true point. That one is true. - Oh, okay, you're right, Mark. And also, you reasoned your way exactly basically into the answer. The fossil record shows that early plants resembled moss and reproduced with single-celled spores. Multicellular seeds didn't evolve for another 150 million years. They just straight figured it out. - Life finds a way. - Yeah, that makes me think about the chicken and the egg thing, but I'm not gonna talk about it more just in case Bob's about to type me the chicken and the egg thing. - Early chickens looked more like moss. - But they were made of gold. For the term golden goose comes from, it's actually golden chicken. - Well, I'm gonna say one more each, 'cause this is fun. - True. - I appreciate you saying that. - There's your factoid, sir. - Wait, this one's directed at you specifically. - This is advice, this is not a fact. This is just advice. - Wait, you, in particular, should not stop your dog from eating poo. - I don't care what the right answer is. - Faults. (laughing) - And of course, that one is true. - Yeah, what is the, why, why, that's just false. - Doing, stopping your dog from eating poo makes that moment into something that the dog recognizes as important. And it, it's psychologically trains them to remember that and to go back to that behavior as something that you acknowledged as the owner/pack leader. They don't understand that they should feel bad about it. They just understand that they did that. And then you were like, oh, they were like, oh, cool. - I love whatever you do with bad behavior and people let you do it and it's like, that'll teach 'em. So by the fifth time they eat poo, you're like, ha ha. That's right, I'm not gonna say a word. That'll stop you. - Yeah, they'll figure it out. - This comes from the school, I think, of training a dog where negative discipline is like never done, you know what I mean? And it's not really a school of training that I subscribe to that much. Mostly for children, it's a different scenario but for dogs, I feel like, I feel like there's, there's like a punishment you could do to make them have a negative association with that. - Yeah, you put them in an oxygen deprivation chamber for a weekend and they become deadpool. - Was that only a week? - I think it was a weekend. - Man, that's fair. - I live with false, I will live and die with false there. - It's not an endorsement of any specific school of dog training and I definitely try and stop Lexi from eating poo when that comes up, which it doesn't, 'cause she's old now when she's learned that that's not good. - Is it time, boys? Do we need to change the rules? 'Cause I think that I, you know, I kind of want it. - I don't want it. - I kind of want it. - I don't want to change the points, but God, do I want to change that rule? - I just feel obligated to remind you that if we take that approach, one of the options on the table is that you can never stop any dog from eating poo ever again. - Oh God, it would be double-leave, right? The universe would never let that happen, right? - Don't say stuff like that. - That's not a good thing to say. - What are the odds of the first thing that that's right? Not only should dogs be allowed to eat poo, but we should have to eat poo. - Probably measurable and consistent if I had to give you that. I don't know what it is, but I'm sure it's one answer what those odds would be. I sent you your last fact, Wade. - Sunsu's The Art of War is a sequel. The first book was lost forever. - Who's Art of War? Sunsu, Sunsu, Sunsu. - Sunsu, Sun. I don't even know if that's right. I just know it's commonly pronounced as Sunsu. - Man, imagine if Art of Love actually made it to Shells, it would have really-- - Dude, a whole different world. - The Art of How To Run A Government Efficiently Forever. Damn it. - No more World War II. We just had Love Fest 1939, baby. - The Art of Eliminating Poverty and Hunger. - Can't live without those. - Okay, so it never, it's lost. - Yeah, I mean, presumably it existed. Not that it never, but how would they know? - Well, there could be records of references to it. Just like the text of it is, there's a lot of stuff that we only know exists because historians are like, well, this guy talked about this book, a whole shitload. So clearly that's a book or something, but we don't have a copy anymore, so. - Like the female orgasm, we don't know if it's real, but like people reference it. - It's big for yourself, but yeah. - That's a real joke. - (laughing) - I wanna join your club. - Imagine if the coin could fix that. What would happen? - I'm gonna go with false, 'cause I don't know how they would know that it was lost. - Unfortunately, Mark, you're right. - Oh, that's just straight up made up fiction. You're very intuitive with this, Mark. The number of times you either just flat out a reasoned that something should be true or false or intuitive for no apparent reason, but what we're spot on is shocking. - I stand by my dog. - Yeah, yeah, I'm with that, yeah. - I didn't know and nowhere in the rules of this game does it say that you cannot take a moral stand and I stand with you. Luckily for me, it didn't cost me any points in a game, so. - Now hold on, what if I say, can I make you lose? - Does it have that power? - Theoretically, I don't know, I guess. - Have we only scratched the surface of what these could do? - These coins could do anything. I think they're dramatically underutilized, but I did say that would be the last fact, and so now I will talk about how many points everybody has. - Wee! - In no particular order, Wade, you weren't points for, oh, Marvel Old is what I wrote, because Iron Man came out 20 years ago. - Oh God, that realization hit hard. - You were in points for, right Sam? Right? You weren't a check minus. You were in points for, - And the body. - You were in points for not baby shoes? I can't remember any of these. You were in points for jumping off a diving board. - I did that. - You were correct on neck type blood, nails grow faster in the summer. You got a point for ingrown hairs when you were talking about your secret afro underneath your head skin. You were correct on cure for evil. Snakes are limbs. Chicken neck. nuggets being named after gold nuggets and your Nixon voice, I am not a plant. Mark, you earned points for something, something, Parasis, never seeing the notebook because I hate that movie. There are dozens of us when talking about the people who let Ashley die and kept Kate in alive. You survived the GoPro encounter. I just wrote, what'd you break? Oh, when Wade jumped in the pool. That's right. You were correct on the bacteria distance. The hair in the nails, not growing after death. The glass sponge lifespan. You were correct on spungle. I wrote down true again. They got a point for that. I think you guessed you were correct on another one, but I wrote true instead of what it was. You were also correct on dog poo and sun suit. Leaving the current score at Mark with 13 points and Wade with 12 points minus one for your check minus Wade with 11, 13 to 11. Oh my God. I have to say Mark was behind almost the whole game. And then the last four points, the last four things he did, all earned points. He was correct. He absolutely clawed it back, but if pointed up absolute, I'm back. That's, that's not an option. That is an option, but you'd still be down by one. Wait, there's a lie points. Is there a just points absolute? Yeah, there's, there's one where like all point values are absolute. So all points are, are there's no negative points that would spend on their for a long time. And we've never hit it. That's on the long list of ones that have never a single time come up. How many spins today? Oh great. We love primary colors. All right, three spins it is. Of course it is. That's right. Back to the pattern. What is the mark face? I can't remember what that is. Is that like the deniero face where you're like, I have no recollection of that being added at all. Isn't there a rule in the constitution where the three of us can agree to remove something? Yeah, if we don't remember what it is, do we have to land on it? Yeah, you have to land. Oh, shit. Okay, but none of us know what that is. I am going to put one on here for this whole the best lie in this episode. That's going to be a tough one. I fully admit that that's going to be one of those ones where we're definitely going to land on it and be like, well, that didn't happen in respin, but I feel like if we're going to have lie points, she'd get credit if you tell a really good lie and get away with it. 121 options. True drooled the most. Who got laid most? I don't remember any of these. I thought we removed that one. We did remove that one. Still there. Still there. I host it. My I was like, instead of adding what I'm removing that because enough family's been like, please don't tell me this. Look, you don't have to admit it. Just only if you want the point. Three spins it is. Come on, wheel. Give us something that's outside the list of like 30 that we always get. Most angry. Oh, no, remember I started the episode with that angry email I had to send. Hmm. Oh, that's true. You did. I think you said the first thing you said on this episode was like, I'm glad to be here. Yeah. I hate business and having did be a bus stop. No. I don't know. Do you refute win? I mean, by definition, it says most angry and that is the most angry. I remember anyone being during. I'd like to fight it, but I don't know that I can. That seems right. All right, wait. Wait. Could see it. Mark was the most angry. It's hard to fight that. This was just a pretty like happy, go lucky episodes. I feel like there's a lot and a lot of episodes. There's some moments at least of faintinger. Yeah, we usually are very contentious. Everyone's just in a good, having a good time today. I mean, I can move today. I have my Pokemon Donut, which is a different other through the most bullshit. My Pokemon card collecting has gotten to the point where we've had a lot of extra boxes to break down and our kitchen counter. She's not been super thrilled about the fact that we have this beautiful big kitchen counter that 70% of it's been covered in Pokemon cards for the last three or four weeks. It's such a big counter. That sounds about like when I ordered a thousand lenses on eBay and my entire kitchen was covered in packages. Yeah. So if you could top that one, but Molly has been pretty on me about like, you are not using our dining room table and you'd better get this counter cleaned for like three or four weeks. And yesterday, she was like cleaning up part of the kitchen and clean up like, you know, her mess. And it was like the spotless, beautiful looking, tiny section of the counter because the rest of it's my bullshit. So, uh, bibs. Well, we got one more spin to make something happen here for you, Wade. I just need two points. Yeah. Or three. Maybe don't get two points. Maybe get some number greater or less or less. Wait, just two points. Come on. Witness. Wow. We're all just in our regular offices. Nobody's in witness protection today. Yeah. Imagine if we'd hit that. And the last was at the last one when Mark was traveling. We would have been a freebie. Mm-hmm. This is from God. We both made jokes about Jesus walking across the water and the glass sponges. I don't know which one of us. We both called Jesus a fraud today. So you both moved equally far away from God. Is that what we're concluding? I can't recall any of any of this jokes being particularly heinous or hera- hera- hera technical. Hera technical? Heretical? Heretical. That's it. Hera technical. I think that's probably a tie. Spin number three. Part two. Come on. We'll keep it us with the funny ones that are buried. Said fuck the most. Oh, trees fucking the woods. Why not if a tree fucks in the wood? I said that. That was Mark's thing. He said that. I think we all may be contributed to that. But you definitely said that first. And I would say I remember he's saying that most. Because he said it. I remember myself saying like one thing where I was like if a tree's fucking the wood who plays child support or something like that. I mean, I'm down by two just for the sake of it. Yeah, that's fine. We'll just know who actually said it the most. What if you go back and count? Thanks to all of Mark's fucks he gave. The final score is Mark with 15 and Wade with 13 minus 1. Also known as 12. Congratulations, Mark. You are the winner of today's episode. Thank you. Thank you for my speech. Yeah, yeah. Go ahead, give us a winner speech. Thank you. I had a bit of a losing streak. It was weird that I was up on points for the season and down on wins. But you know, it's coming back around. I feel really good about this victory. Tried hard, played hard. It's all looking good. What a magnanimous winter speech. Wayne, for a moment, I was back and I was on top and I was in control. I won an episode. I mean, Bob won an episode. I won an episode again. Then I won my own episode. I had three wins to bring myself back. Daddy even with these two points for climbing. Everything was well, maybe not points. Everything else was on the up and up. And now I'm back down five to five to four again. So I've got a hope maybe that either I get another winning streak or season golf rules. What if I that would be a hell of a thing. I'm not even sure. That would have to involve coins or something. I don't even know how that would happen. But nothing is impossible when we make it up on the fly. I look forward to your secret surprise. Come from behind victory at the end of the season. Thank you everybody for hanging out and watching and land or listening to this episode. Make sure you check out the merch. Distractable.shop. I'm going to throw my own plug in and say if you're at all interested in scary stories right now, if you go to realgoodai.org/anthology, you can get your name in the back of us book of collected scary stories as part of the scary tapes writing competition. Also going to be episodes on this podcast that you will see throughout the month of October. Make sure you check these fellers out. Wait as Lord minion 777 or minion 777. Mark is a markiplier. I am my skirm. Thanks for being here. Make sure you follow the podcast so you know when all of our episodes come out and Mark will host the next one where we will all see you there. Podcast out.