162: Works on Paper with Peter Revello | Soder Podcast | EP 156

Hey, everybody. I have very limited road dates still on the road, but December 10th through the 12th, I'm going to be in Rochester, New York at Comedy at the Carlson. Also go to punchup.live, sign up to find out when I'm coming to your town. You just give your email address and then you can watch all the movie watch-alongs. We got a new one with Stavros coming out, watching Cobra. Go to punchup.live, Dan Soder, sign up, get the notification the second tickets go on sale in your town. Works out pretty well. That's the only reason we're going to email you. That's it. I'm not selling any wares or lotions. Enjoy the podcast and I hope you're doing all right. Was there ever someone that recognized you from doing stand-up? Thank God, no. I don't think so. And if they did, I buried it deep down. Because that was the worst when it happened to me when I was a waiter. Painful. Because they would see you doing the thing you did. Like, don't do it. Don't give up, man. You're like, shut up. Shut the fuck. Don't tell me what to do. I'll give up. One time I was downstairs at Dos Caminos, like on the main floor, dinner shift, waiting on, and it was like a girl and her sugar daddy. It was like an older guy and she still had the upper hand. She still went like, I saw you at Eastville Comedy Club. And I was like, well, would you like a refill? The specials today are a filet of sole. Yeah, there's a Chilean sea bass that'll knock your socks off. But when you were like moving, moving something heavy and doing something as physically exerting as moving to have someone go, oh, you're actually an arts guy. That's where you go like, no, I'm not. I'm a cool, tough mover today. I miss moving, man. Moving was so fun because like when you do like a job like that, they can't, they can't take anything away from you. You know what I mean? I'm already moving furniture. You're doing the thing that is the biggest request of a friendship. Yeah. That's the number. I would say that's the number one besides an airport ride earlier late at night. Yeah. Early in the morning or late at night. I would say the only thing that comes close is can you help me move? And then you, yeah. And then I know. And then you get to see people in like really interesting moments because they're panicked. But moving is like one of the worst things to go through. Like, I think it's like divorce. Death is second. Death is second. They'd rather you die. Yeah. That's why that is why. Old people die in their houses because they go, well, I can move this into something else or I'll just fucking perish. I don't want to do this fucking pass away. Yeah. Because what it is, is you're uprooting everything. And then you don't know how much stuff you have. And then you're like, yeah, there's so many times I don't have a lot of stuff. And you get there and you're like, you have a lot. You don't think it's a lot of shit. And like, you just see, man, you just see a lot of interesting things. Like we found, I mean, it's like a lot of dildo, you know, a lot of vibrating boxes. Dude, really? Like the whole box just being like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude. Do they immediately triage that? Do they come in and like pull out the Kong Dong and switch it off? They're like, it's an egg timer. You're like, yeah, sure. I'll play along. Is that what they say? Yeah. You and TSA get the most excuses for dildos. Like you and TSA are the ones that you go like, it's a back scratcher. Sure, lady. Yeah, sure. Whatever. Well, why is there a whole box of them? And they're all dancing like vipers in a pit. What's the most embarrassing thing you found of somebody's? Embarrassing? I mean, we moved this woman. There was a dead rat under her bed. She didn't even know. She was so Xanaxed out. She was like, I don't even know what's going on. So when you move the bed, there was just a rat corpse. But he was like, it was decomposed. Like he was, it's been dead for a minute. It was like old spooky manor. It was, it was bones. Yeah, it was mostly bones. There was a tinier rat running through his skull. And you go, oh, whoa, that's crazy. And she was just like. She was just like, oh, it's all right. Because in New York, what you're dealing with, I'm assuming most of the people you moved in was Manhattan and like Brooklyn and Queens. A lot of, yeah, a lot of Brooklyn and a lot of Manhattan. I'm trying to think like not so much Queens, almost never the Bronx. Yeah, Bronx is like, puppy, we do that all the time. You're right, right, right. Mundanza. We're not doing, we're not moving. We're doing Mundanza. Like, okay, I got it. Si, claro. Gotcha. But when you're moving people, you probably get to see the worst in them. Oh, yeah. Because it's similar, what I'd say is. The amount of fights I've seen. The amount of, I was like, this marriage is over. Like, you know, you move them once. I'll be back for half your stuff soon. You watch them get into a fight. There will not be a rebate. Yeah, there you go. I think we got more business coming our way in about two to three months. Actually, that's true. You know, that is funny that you said that. I did do that a couple of times where I moved a couple. I didn't even think about that. But yeah, I moved a couple. And then months later, you move them again. But it's only. You know what happened one time? This is hilarious. So we moved this guy. They're in a throuple. Always works. Always successful. Always everyone's enough emotional maturity. It's like communism. It works on paper. Of course. It works on paper. And it's fun to jerk off to. You know, you go, a million dollar janitor. But so we moved the guy out. And we're like, what happened? And he's like, you know, they kind of. They wanted to be the couple. And it's just such a funny thing to be like. Yeah, man. You got cut. You got. He opened his locker. There's a red tag. You go, oh, man, I'm getting sent back down to the minors. It's not you. It's us. You're like, oh, my God. Can I tell you that that is a feeling that I somehow identify with, even though I've never gone through. I feel like in life. I'm the guy that got cut from the throuple. Here we go. You guys have an amazing chemistry. I'm just going to. You know what? Maybe this doesn't work. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, when you're. Do they ever ride with you in the. The van. Oh, my. They asked to. And you're like, no, like, just enough. I don't want to talk shit about you. Yeah. I want to talk shit about you, man. This is we've had some. This is like this isn't my story, but this was I used to work for a company in Brooklyn and a company in Staten Island. The company in Staten Island. Pirates. Lawless. They would. Bro. Doing coke in the morning. Yes. Bringing six packs. Driving the truck. Yeah. Driving the tree like I'm a little fucked up. Hey, I think I'm fucking talking crazy. You know, I'm going to lift that piano by myself. And they do. I'm out of slip discs. And they do. Yeah. That's what I mean. These guys are animals. They're knocking a teener out before lunch of coke. And then they're like, hey, what do you think that we think that bookcase was? He goes, I'm a. Listen, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not put on a back brace. I don't see any bits here. This is all. You might as well be reading a transcript. I'm dead serious. It's a lot of like, bro, how much does this weigh? I can one man this. No problem. I've seen. Does that lead to broken shit more times than not? No. I'm telling you, these guys were unbelievable. Really? People should have clapped when they when what they did. Oh, yeah. Do you think that would help the moving process is vocal support? Like when I are moving and if I go to what you got that couch in here, it has to be. It has to be earned because then it feels if it's like an empire, I think somehow like fit a couch in a tight space that you're like, there's no way. And they fit it. You go, come on, man. Come on, man. Yeah. It's like when. You see like an 18 wheeled parallel park, you're like, somebody should be clapping. Everyone that has like if you get into we have to go to driving school because like you have a temper or something. Part of that class should be watching a load in at an arena because you watch these guys drive and pimps nod in his head because he knows you watch these like 18 wheelers back up and shit. You go like, oh, you know how to drive. I don't know how to drive. I don't know how to drive at all. I'm in a little Nissan like. Am I close? These guys. They're like, if you ever hear air let out before they go backwards. Yeah. So they would try to ride in the van with you. They try to ride in the van and then like, you know, but that was annoying. I'm just trying to think what else will we find? This is like, this isn't again my story, but this happened to a friend of mine. They were moving this old woman. Her husband died and they were like cleaning off the top of her like TV console. And I guess she didn't see it. Like she's never been up there, obviously, because it was like a porn, a gay porn. It was white lips, black dicks. And they were just like, do we show her? Do we show her? And they're like, nah, man, just throw it away. It's better not to know that your husband was a homosexual. Isn't that crazy that she knew you think she might have been a lavender marriage. It could have might have had a marriage on Staten Island. All right. I mean, that's the only way you're going to have it. It's going to be kept a secret. It's going to be kept a deep, dark secret. But there is like a thing of that's crazy. That a mover could control the direction of a family. Yeah, because your friend that told you that story, he decides he does want to fucking tell people because she fucking bucks and freaks out because I don't think I don't. An old couple in Staten Island would handle a gay interracial denial. They'll be like, do you put this here? Why would you put your gay porn? Why are you planning to review on your company? Yeah, they were pretty good porn. It was great until they were doing a wonderful job. Yeah. Yeah. Until they put number one, they won't let you ride in the van. Number two, they put gay porn everywhere like little Easter baskets. That is like finding stuff like that. You are fine. It's like because you find money, you find how much money have you found? Hey, if you own a small business, God bless you because it's tough, but you should be using square. Square is the platform behind the scenes of so many businesses you already love. If you're selling smoothies, cutting hair, fixing bikes or running a boutique. If you're selling. figures, cards, whatever you're doing, you should be using Square. it's not just a point of sale square includes hardware that works in person and on the go it's software for managing staff marketing and customer insights and banking tools like square checking so you can get paid instantly and because it's because it makes running a business feel a little less like putting out fires square simplifies the messy stuff it works for one location shops and businesses with multiple teams or service areas my point is check it out if you're starting a business or running one that deserves better tools square helps you sell manage and grow without slowing down right now you can get up to 200 off square hardware at square.com slash go slash soda that's sqare.com slash go slash soda run your business smarter with square get started today oh it's fall it's gonna be crispy oh that's why you should be checking out square.com mac weldon i'm just saying mac weldon's got some versatile pieces coming in fit great feel good quality from top to bottom we're talking about socks underwear chinos wool sweaters they can get you all dressed up mac weldon is a one-stop shop for guys on the go their clothes are designed to fit your style and the demands of modern life you got the office parties to meeting parents of significant others you know everything in between mac weldon's timeless piece transitions effortless effortlessly between all your plans this holiday season they've been going at it for over 10 years so they got some experience all right innovative men wear to help you move through the day with confidence give your guy fresh versatile basics for the holidays go to mac weldon.com and get 20 off your first order of 125 or more with promo code dan that's m-a-c-k-w-e-l-d-o-n.com promo code ban how much money have you found we had to it was a debate because we found about like 10 grand in cash and we were like in staten island yeah so we were like what do we do do we keep some but some overs are stupid like you steal something they don't miss sure you got to be smart about it yeah they have duplicates you take somebody takes not me not you take it and by the way i've been accused for anybody watching this peter ravello's never stole anything and he would never even the change the change in the cushions maybe i'll take a cup a silver dollar a silver dollar come on get this man a soda he's moving your library i need a soda pop yeah but i mean that is like it becomes that movie the rip where you go you have ten thousand dollars and you go like do you want do we take five because honestly you find ten thousand dollars twenty five hundred bucks split between you and another each yeah what'd you guys do we didn't take it that and then we're going to do it and um but there have been other times like my brother found like a he used to work for the company too found like a derringer that like people just misplace everything they like so staten island you're finding a lot of like what you're what's happening now or for the last like 15 20 years yeah 70s and 80s mobsters retiring living on staten island and then i'm not sure if we've ever moved them i mean maybe i don't know it's tough it's always tough to tell it's always tough to visit if you're really part of the mob then it's not they're gonna have shit at their house yeah you don't know i'm talking about the peripheral i'm talking about the guys that do the dirt that's where you find the derringer the guy that was like associated with them and wanted to impress them and then he's an old man and he dies and his wife doesn't know that he was just jacking it to white lips and then you find that's gonna be the guy that you know yeah also top of the tv you are dancing with danger this man that's the excitement of it yeah my little secret the thrill the thrill you old bitch you have no idea what's on top of our tv oh my god the shit i'm into that you have zero clue about trying to think what else is like there's been so many fucking yeah there is i don't know um the staten island guys animals animals ever get injured um yeah i split my lip here i split my lip and then you get like but when you like do you watch them get hurt and then they go like i'm not hurt do they i'm trying yeah i mean everyone gets hurt i'm not hurt i'm not hurt i'm not hurt but for the most part i don't they're men yeah they're men they're just you know what it is is they are tired at the end of the day and that's like a thing that is really good for people they say yeah but then they would we would go out like when i was drinking we'd the money you made that day it's gone sick just you go to the you go to unique you go to the townie bar you shoot pool and get fucked up you do coke and you do it all again how long has it been since you drank it's seven years what was your drink uh i just loved beer and like tequila so you do like a tequila with a beer back yeah yeah that's a that's a tough one you know who the last person i drank with was kevin ryan no shit swear to god what a fun are you garbage bro i it was where at mcswiggins no shit yeah it was it was the historia no the one you know where new york comedy club is oh that mcswiggins right down that like you make the right on second hand yeah i know that's gone now yeah it was on 23rd and 7th r.i.p yeah mcswiggins was where i found out i was getting a comedy central half hour wow yeah i got drunk big moments and i was drunk with al jackson and joe de rosa and then i found out and i was like i'm doing a comedy central half hour and then oh my blackout and then i don't remember lewis used to live right by there when he had his son they lived on 21st and 2nd so i'd get drunk and then be like lewis you watching ufc and he'd be like you know but the baby's here and i would come in like ah sport where's sport oh man he's got your eyes i know that's i'm confusing mccann's in the story with mcswiggins on 23rd and 2nd yeah damn it is fun talking about old bars where he goes you know it's dead it's gone yeah gen z doesn't drink you talk to people like it's funny like you talk to non-alcoholics and they're like we never like i talked to my wife and like she drinks i don't know she'll have like two sure and then she's like i'm done and she'll like finished she won't even finish the last one and you're like it's not done yeah idiot that was the thing that made me want to get help was yannis and i were sitting at the old cbs comedy club upstairs drinking and he bought us i had no money he bought us two stellas and we were drinking stellas and he had like a third of it full and he goes the difference is you're gonna finish yours and i won't finish mine and i go and i'm gonna wait till you leave and i'm gonna finish yours because done that i'm gonna do that and i think i did it that night people don't understand you go i want to drink everything you know what the worst is too when you're like i'm gonna drink everything i'm gonna really getting fucked up and you're like looking around especially if there's like a party and you're like there's like that's like half full and you're like i'll have to give it a shot and then there's like a cigarette butt in and you're like how much of a cigarette but how much is it broke apart you know what you do you check the body like like a cop that finds a body in the river you go how bloated is this and you go it's still pretty tight that's new i yeah until you've brought that up anybody with a drinking problem yeah and if you haven't quit drinking and you've had a party oh you're wasted you're if you're putting in you have a problem yeah oh yeah yeah you know what that's another thing i think about too where it's like if you have a problem or not if you're like on the fence do you do dry january you're an alcoholic yeah you're as sick drunk if you do dry yeah hey i'm i don't i don't have a problem i can take a month i can take 30 days in a row off you're like the example and i know the listeners are so sick of this example but it's true joe list and i would take off a sunday and then on monday when we meet up we'd be like pillar of restraint and we were really sucking our own dicks where we're like i didn't even you know i didn't even think about drinking now let's go crawl to a subway at the end of the night how hard was moving hung over i've only that was it was hell i've only done it a couple of times where it was because i didn't try to like put those together because i knew how hard i did it one time i was like this is fucked yeah because you are just hammered and you're in these people's homes you read and it's too late what are they going to do call another moving it's over we're the move by the way they need to move they need to it is the first and you yeah here's my question to you about the power just to get into it the feeling of you're out drinking yeah you know you have to be at 213 canary lane at 8 30 a.m to move this family it is 1 30 a.m and you're feeling fucking fantastic if i'm doing coke if we were doing coke you're like let's move it now yes let's go to the house now turn on the lights be like let we're moving wake them up you're going to your house what the fuck you're like hey get the fuck moving them as they're sleeping i never did coke so my you would do it i know performance enhancing for daniel i'm a fucking mark mcguire rod karu i'm doing 61 just pure strength i out drank a comic that we know he was on coke and i outlasted him and that was embarrassing for that person it's one of my most proudest moments because home and i won't say i'll say it off camera of course i'll say it live if you come see me uh i'll say i'll tell you person to person um who's an impressive partier so the fact that i got that over on him i was like does he weigh like 100 pounds decent-sized guy, and could fucking go. This was just one of those nights where I was on it. I don't think I smoked even weed. So I was just like, dealing. You know, they left me on the mound. I was just fucking, the strike zone was the size of a billboard. I was just back, back. I was getting hammered. And then he was like, I got to go home. And I was like, that was when it was like, he turned the corner and I was like. Once I got the win, I broke down. But I'm saying when you're out, because for me it was always, okay, we got to open the cafe at 10 a.m. So I'd be at cabin, you know, and it would be like 2.30 in the morning. And you're going like, if I go to bed at four, I get five, six, seven. I know, I hate nine. I get five hours of sleep if I go now. But then you're drinking, you bump into somebody, and you go, I'm fucking still out. No, you can't, you can't. No, it's like in for a penny, in for a pound. If you're out, we're out now. So that first experience, you were like. Oh, no. Yeah, I mean, I did it. Of course, you do it a couple more times after that to really make sure that it's awful. A lesson isn't learned unless it's done three or four times. But I'll tell you what, though. You do kind of like, the hangover goes away. When you're sweating it out, and you're really working hard, you do feel pretty good after, I don't know, about an hour and a half, two hours. But that first hour, it's hell. And I would argue that's the difference between being a waiter and a mover during a hangover. Because that hangover's there until you're doing your paperwork. Until you're at home. Until you're having a beer at the fucking place that all the waiters go after your shift. You don't, even though you sweat, what sucks even more is you sweat it out, but it doesn't get gone. And you're serving food. I had a GM one time tell me, I came in. You look green. No, she said, I can smell the whiskey coming out of your pores. And I had to go drink a coffee and smoke a cigarette. Like that's gonna. I thought it was. It really was. And by the way, I drank it black, like it was gonna rip me out of my hangover. Yeah, right. Oh, those were the worst. Just like sweaty and you're like. But when you're moving hungover, do you tell the other guys? They know. They were out with you. It's the boys. So you're, the whole crew's out. You come, yeah. You come in hungover. They're messed up. And they kind of, you know, it's like, you don't put them on every piece. You're like, okay, I'm not gonna put you on the big piece. You run boxes. You get it out of your system. So that we had a system for the system. Yeah, you get garden duty. Oh, yeah, right. Just go around out back, see if there's stuff we're missing. Yeah. But that place was lousy with Coke, the Staten Island one. It was, this one time this kid showed up, he was doing blow at like, I don't know, we met up around like seven o'clock in the morning. He was just doing ripping lines. In the van? In the truck. Yeah. In the truck. It was four guys, two in the front, two in the back. He's doing it, doing it all day. And we have three jobs, two pianos. So we had one, he was okay. And then he starts to like, got real quiet after lunch. And then all of a sudden. Was he doing Coke at lunch? He was doing Coke at lunch. Was he eating lunch? He tried. There ain't much eating. You're on blow since seven in the morning. So he was like getting real weird. And we had to go to this other job. And all of a sudden, he starts like hyperventilating. He's just like, and like beet red. He's got like the vein popping out of his forehead. And we're like, what the fuck are you, what's going on? He's not talking. He's not. And we're like, well, we have another, the job, like we can't, he was doing this for like an hour. Like he, he was like kind of calm. And then all of a sudden he's like jerking, like, like what the fuck? I know. Cause you look at, cause you know what I mean? Cause you're like, oh, I do comedy. You know, I'm not like these animals, but I'm sitting next to you in the truck. We're in the same place. We're together. I'm next. We're coworkers. We're coworkers. This is it. Colleagues. We're colleagues. If, if you, if I was a doctor, I would call you doctor. And you're watching us go. But you wonder if that's like, I mean, did he get any super natural strength out of it? No, we couldn't go to the job. You can't bring a person. We're movers, but even there's decorum for movers. That is funny talking to like four guys and you go, yeah, I think the desk would, what's up with him? And you're like talking about, you go both desks. Why is he doing that? He's like, that's just Rodrigo. He's just getting, he's hyped. He loves moving furniture. Did you send him home? We tried to bring him. We, we had so many, we had, we were like, all right, do you want to leave? Do you? Nothing, nothing. We brought him. We went to the hospital. Do you want to get out of the house? Wouldn't get out of the truck. And he's still not talking to you. Not talking. So he got locked jaw, dude, bro. I've never seen it. He had a break. He had, I've never seen anything like that. So finally, I forget how we, we just were like, we have to go to this job. We were talking to the manager manager, like just bring them to the job. Like, okay, we're going to bring this person, this fucking coke fiend into somebody's home. All right. I would be so mad. Yeah. He shows up. He's like, Oh, I know. Like he's like, he's just a savant. He's a coke savant where he goes, people are weeping. That's Bach. And he goes, Oh, is it? I thought it was just some powdered weed. He's just doing it. Although that's, that's, I believe his fourth concerto. He's just like, his eyes are rolled back. His blood coming out of his nose, but he's fucking. And it's the most beautiful thing you've ever heard. Yeah. You go, Oh, the owners have done. Oh, I took my breath away. It's like, money here. You're beautiful. And he comes to, he goes, what happened? Sorry. I should have told you guys. I do more than two grams. And I accessed this part of my brain. He was fine. So when he saw the piano, he was like, I know what to do. We'll get them on the, and then, uh, so at the end of the day, this is like hours. So at the end of the day, I was like, I can't have this guy take a bus home. So I drove him. So I was like, I'll drive you to your house. So we're talking. And I'm like, now we're talking. I'm like, what happened? He's like, you know, I was like, man, it was the angels were here and the devils were pulling me this way. And I was like, Oh my God. You know, I'm like, what did the angels look like? And our friend Vinny was, he's like, it looked like Vinny. And I was like, wow. I'm like, what did the devil look like? He's like, it looked like you, Jesus. And I was like, ah, Hey, you know, the, you know, the, you know, if I was a devil, you know, I'm not the devil. You know that, right? So you're on the Coke is subsided to where there's a mania there. I'm like, yeah, I'm not the devil, but then I couldn't help it. I was like, but I did something the devil would say. He would say, why would you say that? I'm back in that place. Now you go, I'm just saying, if I was the devil, you know, I'd be afraid if he was driving me home and he goes, pull over, pull the fuck over. Yeah. That's crazy. It also comics were all a special kind of insecure. You hear that and you go, why can't I be the angel? Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh, for sure. I was like, fuck Vinny. What the fuck? I've been nothing but nice to you, man. Yeah. I'm driving you home right now. I'm an angel. Fuck you. Vinny sucks. Vinny's actually pretty awesome. He would, uh, when he get yacked up, he would like talk to you about like how the home runs he'd hit in little league. Yes. Dude, I love just, and he was ripping lines with a, what would Jesus do? Bracelet on. And I was like, I love you, dude. I love, I love absolute complete. You're full of shit in front of my face and I'm watching you be full of shit. And then one time we were on Coke, and he was just like, it's like, you know, man, if we were on, if we were storming the beach on D-Day, man, I'm like, what the fuck? That's where you go on your Coke thing? I don't want to be on an island. That's what you've never done. Yeah. Coke gets very like emotional. Like it's very like, tell me about your dad. I would have, that, I knew. Yeah. I knew. By the way, I went to the university of Arizona. I went to the U of yay. It was just, everybody was out there. That was where that shit was in my face. Crazy. And I, it's gross. Can I tell you what I think stopped me from doing Coke besides my family's history? Sure. Resentment of rich people. I really resented all the kids that had Coke money. Cause I was like, in college, it's crazy to have Coke money. Oh, and they had like, I had to work for mine, Abercrombie and Fitch. But like before it was, before they just made t-shirts like this, back when it was like lime green with a farmer on it and they were wearing Von Dutch and they were just like mean about it that I was like, Oh, I don't like Coke people. And thank God, cause I would have, they get, it goes together so well. Drinking loved it. Oh, when I do Adderall. Oh, that's basically when I do Adderall, when I drank, I'd be like, Oh, Oh, you put the Hulk in the Ironman suit. That's what it felt like. You guys fucked up. Cause now Hulk smash. And now Hulk's flying. That was a fucking problem. You didn't want to see me do Coke. Liz never did Coke either. And Liz couldn't hang. Same with Nate, bro. So we were the 63 Yankees. We were DiMaggio Maris. Just clean. I wasn't 63. Is that the right year? When was Mary? It was Matt Mantle and Matt was 61, 61. We were the 61 Yankees, dude. I'm telling you, no blow. None of this fucking juice. Just us going out. Only fundamentals. Just good fundamentals. That's all it is for content. We're hitting 400. Yeah. Joe's shitting in the shoe. It happens. Whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We all eventually had to go sober because it was like, because really it is like you get to a point. We're in our 40s now where you see guys going hard and you almost go like, you know, it's like when they talk when like older NFL players are still playing and they talk to guys they used to play with. They go, I don't know how I do it, man. Yeah. That's how I feel when I see like Norman drinking. I'm like, how are you still out there? We're Sam. Like I'll hang with Sam for a little bit or friends of mine that I used to drink with. Yeah. I'm like, he's still out there. It hurts too much. I mean, it's not worth, I mean, my dad would, I mean, he was, he's still, he's still doing coke until his 60s. Chopping up lines with an AARP card is a fuck. if you're going to a if you're going to a 5 p.m dinner yacked out of your mind you go you know what you're getting the senior disc you're getting the bluebird special and you're going like honestly i'd stick more coffee did your dad do coke like in front of you no no but then like when you when you're young you've like you it all kind of pieces like you look at things and then you get older you're like oh okay this makes sense now because he'd come home after like but sometimes he'd go out for like two nights that's when you know he was going out when it's like he'd every week he'd have to go out once a week if he didn't go out it was hell you didn't want to be in the house he was miserable so what would he do when he'd go out just drink oh yeah drink who knows yeah you know do whatever he was doing and then he i remember one time he came home and there was like just a a wastebasket full of bloody tissues i'm like what the fuck why does he have a blood now i'm like oh it's because he was doing so much coke that it was just yeah you have a nosebleed my mom always used to tell me she had the 24-hour flu and then i grew up and i was like you hung over asshole you were just crazy hung over i know and she would be like oh 24-hour flu it's like it's so crazy that it coincided with jones 49th birthday party weird and then now you're over here and now you're hurting all day when i had to hang out with a teenager till 11 30 at night yeah dude it's when you put it together as an adult it's honestly can i tell you what i like it it's like puzzles it's like year-old puzzles it's like a little bread that's a real positive way to put it yeah you're right there you know a real brain teaser watching your dad destroy himself it was crazy because i always was like something was going on you know what i mean but you'd be like you would see him and you i would go to the bars with my dad and shit so i always did yeah oh yeah all the time when i was with my dad i would probably you went you went and drank with your father no okay that's what i thought yeah my dad would take me to the bar do you pick the numbers you do quick pick and stuff yeah play fucking pac-man on the thing yeah if they got onion rings you meet all his friends you got iggy doogie rooster you get everybody a guy named guy i'm not joking it was i couldn't understand it when i was seven years old he's like this is my friend guy and i went what and he's like this guy it's just a guy named guy it's uh that was in denver before he moved back to san francisco but you remember the first time you met an identical twin i just you said a guy named guy and it's reminded me like when i was a kid my my friend's mom had an identical twin and i she came in and i she's like hi i'm sherry i'm like no you're laurie yeah the fuck you what are you lying to me for i will always thank and i hope they're good i haven't spoke to him since we were about nine years old but chris and daniel haas were identical twins okay and we were friends and i loved it because i had two friends i was like as for a lonely kid just greedy it was it my ship has came in they're all in they're both in the he-man we're both got like it was they lived um right by me and i would stay at their house a great cereal selection that's i want to say that to the hot to mrs haas great job did they have the rice crispy cereal that was this literally rice crispy treats in a in a box that was that was older that was when we were older okay they what they had was apple jacks and they had like um coco crispy they had berries oh that wasn't a thing yet wow we're talking early 90s late 80s so the cereal tech really took off in the late 90s i know we my generation we got hit with that where it's like this is debauched this is yeah reese's it really became the throuple of cereal it was in the late 90s where they were going roman yeah they go you know what fuck those other pieces of captain crunch all berries all berry oops yeah oops we jokingly always uh katie and i always reference the uh explosion in the flavor factory because of how many times it happened in the 90s where they were like the chocolate got in the marshmallow it's like days since accident crossing it out like well i was jokingly her dad loves a flavor mashup okay so i always jokingly call him the first responder at the accident of the flavor factory where i go he's there mike's there with the zmt on going like what happened raspberry and chocolate met in the thing but uh um cereal was real like almost kind of conservative in the early 90s where they're like we're apple jacks and that's all we are right we have missionary sex yeah we go to church on wednesdays and sundays you just got out of reagan so yeah come on it was still hw decorum right the head of the cia was running the country yeah you had like life cereal and like raisin brand kick they were trying to tell us that kicks kid tested mother approved i fuck yeah kid tested you know what the score was fucking i want sugar in my cereal even though i was a kicks i did love kicks i like cheerios i like i like the cheer like a honey nut came along and you went and then apple cinnamon came along and then it's that's the peak i'll argue anybody apple cinnamon cheerios is the best cheerios i knew something was wrong you know like when they started putting out like purple ketchup even that i even then that young i was just like this isn't stop staying your lane feels wrong yeah and then the financial crisis happened there you go you think that happened you think it's a mistake you think it's an accident purple you think purple ketchup don't lead you to fucking subprime mortgages subprime mortgage collapse use your brain for two seconds figure it out dude it really was like uh they just at one point in the 90s were like fuck it every flavor is going to go everywhere the rice crispy treats like that was i couldn't believe it i was like they just put it and you put milk in and you eat it and they're like no no that's how you start listen there is and uh it's people listening some of you might have lived through this but during the pandemic there was this mandela effect that i had where for a limited time they sold oatmeal cream pie cereal and there were little oatmeal cream pies feels right though it was so fucking good that i would buy two boxes at a time and then just walk through it like wet paper i would just i would eat the box and you said mandela effect and then it gone you can't find it can't find any proof of it can't find any proof of it feel crazy she's my only witness my ride or die is my only thank god yeah i feel crazy if i was living in yeah but you're telling me this now it made me a little uncomfortable i was like this isn't real man i can call katie in here right now and she'll be like yeah that he it was fucking great and it was good because it was airy so when the milk hit it that's what gave it its weight and the milk made it taste like oatmeal cream pie but you've googled you've gluten it's like buddy let's do it right just to just to prove it and then my eyes are gonna start bleeding when you open the portal yeah um no i mean i but i don't i mean i want to believe you i want to believe you pie cereal let's just see the men guys we're talking zoc doc if you need a doctor or you need to see one zoc doc is the place to go i'm telling you a lot of times the biggest problem about feeling sick is you're like who do i go talk to how are they going to help me well guess what zoc doc cuts through all that they let you search and compare local in-network doctors they have more than 150 000 providers with 200 200 plus specialties across all 50 states plus zoc docs website ton of reviews from real patients with detailed doctor profiles to help you choose the right one see the actual appointment openings click to instantly book a visit and appointments happen fast usually between a day to three and you can even book same day appointments plus the best part zoc doc free to use so check out zoc doc there's also the app whatever's easiest for you that's all you got to do go get zoc doc and let them know that we sent you that's pretty much it they just want you to you know that's zoc doc.com your health matters and taking care of yourself shouldn't be complicated head to zoc doc.com slash soda to get started and click that appointment off your to-do list that's zoc doc.com slash soda no i mean i but i don't i mean i want to believe you i want to believe you pie cereal let's just see for men for men not for babies for the men the guys so oh wait you can buy it for 5.97 the plot thickens like the cookie it exists it exists it's made by little debbie it's a little kellogg and little debbie mashup honestly where can i get this they maybe you shouldn't find that out there hold on it's over now now hold on i don't like seeing the side of you this addict in new york city you can purchase it through grocery delivery apps no local manhattan retailers such as target or walmart can he get my cereal pants but i get my cereal sweatpants it's time we go do a little fact finding review we got a rental car here in about three hours can i ask you a question i am gonna buy fucking boxes of i will update you what made you think it didn't exist though it stopped being in the grocery store in new jersey where we were and you're like and i guess it's gone forever i'll tell you what i'm going to do i did google it it didn't come up and that's why i felt crazy so i had googled it before i think now they probably heard my prayers jesus christ answer my prayers you know it was a good cereal that was discontinued that they brought back waffle crisps loved waffle crisps those are fucking unbelievable what a great cereal thank you for bringing it up love waffle crisps golden grams doesn't get enough credit and i'm just here to put some fucking respect i'm tired of acting like i don't like these motherfuckers are out here uh it's funny because that's cereal such an alcoholic thing of like that's our coke that keeps us going where you go to a little bump of apple jacks midday you know what i mean because now you need your treats it's just such a nice treat you don't smoke anymore right you don't no nicotine for you no i quit i'm still on the nicotine are you yeah smoke cigarettes no no i'll do zins i'm vaping again it's a it's the real what's the harder one for you is vaping or zins i don't know they go back and forth is it i mean i just how did you stop you have to what sucks is you have to just fucking stop just two weeks of just you just have to and also you need the easy way to quit smoking by alan carr because he tells you nicotine leaves your body in 72 hours so 72 hours after you're done you shouldn't you're not having a chemical reaction you're having an emotional and psychological reaction it is fucking hard to quit nicotine and that's what makes me mad about watching these zins and like kids get on just nicotine where you go oh the vape thing that was that was crazy because like our generation like my like millennia like they there was like the lowest amount of cigarette smokers and in high school and then vapes came and just blew it out of the water yeah because as a smoker there's something cooler about smoking the bumming the talking the being outside vaping brought it indoors i never i used to vape weed and then i didn't like it because it made me feel like a bum because if it made me feel like i was hitting a flask every time i'd be in like and be like even the way i would hit it would be like the way that they tilt the flask i'd be like and then come 7 p.m and i'm fucking zooted because i've just been hitting it all day and they're like dan you're right i'm like it was good i went back to and i have it oh i have it on me but i call i go fucking old school one hitter bro i love it i love it one hit i go bat and dug out dude i got i'm telling you this fucking thing stinks but it gives me the purpose it's the it's the right amount of weed and it makes me feel like i'm lighting a cigarette yeah because i do and that one am i inhaling metal does or you know like the who can't you know what yellow yeah but that's also vaping you don't know what the fuck that shit is that's true inhale by the way you talk to a doctor and they're like inhaling anything yeah it's horrible for your lungs i remember like in high school when we used to smoke we used to like put it like tin foil on like apples really anything did we had a mountain dew can smoothed out stab it it's you're smoking aluminum smoking yeah piercing aluminum and the things that stop it from bleeding into the thing and you're inhaling and by the way get you right for that red robin shift bus tables you fucking i gotta fish in my back seat find a pepsi can smooth it out with my keys stab it and then fucking roast the nug the amount of things that you weed like you'd smoke out of just because it was like impossible like pens gravity bong hits gravity but yeah when the gravity bong hit craze for me of 2001 for the same place my senior year of 2001 yeah motherfuckers were trying we were trying to get hot we were trying to get as high as possible on weed every time that was it but it was like gravity bong hits you ever do like a gaudy like you used to be used to like what is that such a new york i know i know but you gotta teach us mountain folk so you get a cigar and you completely get all the tobacco out and you do stuff at all with weed fat yeah and you smoke that oh i remember my buddy calvin had a eucalyptus xl right because he was like a fucking sick baseball player so his dad got him this yukon xl it was so nice and we smoked we clint we hot boxed it and it was like on this street somewhere and we smoked like four or five blunts and then we flavored were they flavored pineapple maybe one of the wraps was definitely flavored but i just remember getting out of the car and watching the we were under a street light it's the coolest thing hi we were like oh no you feel like accomplished like i did that you go oh it's my baby and then people are like are they still outside like looking at us yeah dude it was uh like there's like something about being a teenager and you're like you want to push your limits yeah i mean the high school was the like for like smoking weed was the best i got kicked out of my prom for smoking weed like that did you go to your prom yeah i went to what's funny is i went to my junior year one and then my date got mad i wanted to get high after uh after prom fucking bitch so i just classic ladies so i just went out with my friends later uh and then my second year i wanted to go to prom but i didn't have a girlfriend or a date yeah and i was at a baseball game and this girl that i've known for a while i go do you have a date for prom she's like no and i was like no i got a prom wow she's like yeah but then prom came along and i had a half ounce of just fuck it sticky and she like wanted to go to a party and i was at hanging with my friends my we're just gonna sit here and smoke and i was like this is the best night goodbye yeah and then i remember driving home it was but i didn't have a girlfriend so i think prom to me wasn't like prom as much as it was like getting high in a tuxedo basically what yeah yeah did you i mean me and my friend we didn't have girlfriends so we went as uh we went as dumb and dumber so that's fine so with this with the you which one were you orange or blue i was had longer blonde hair so i was i was the i was the blue really did he whack your back we did all we were way down at the bar put out the vibe we were so we were so fucked up so then so i that's very fun if you're not gonna have a date for prom you shouldn't do that we did that but it is fun when you're with the other guy you know when you're like oh cool when you get kicked out and you have to because it happened at chelsea piers so i was just kind of my phone was dead i'm just dressed now i'm just a guy in a blue tuxedo on the chelsea light blue did you have the ruffles and a cane and you start to go i can't really this i don't really have an undershirt how did they catch you uh well i had it coming i so i smoked weed in the bathroom with the one hitter and like like someone i knew and i was like i'll smoke weed guy comes in and he's like whoa what's going on and i was just like hey what i i don't know what the drinking made me brave so i was like what i do on my own time is my own business so funny that does not exist that does not exist for a high schooler it's just something you heard in a high school adult say and by the way i'm guilty of that on so many occasions i'm actually a man now you can't tell by the blue suit you're parroting like i've said to people not in my home this is my home like that kind of thing where you go i'm gonna tell you what i do that guy was like shut the fuck up but he was you're not gonna tell me what my business is he goes i'm your principal yeah but he couldn't find the weed so he's like fuck i gotta let him go so as i'm leaving i like ditch the weed and then so whatever and then i i'm like fucked up so i try to come back and get it and the security guard's like she he's going back for it and she i don't know in my head i guess this was racist but she was like black and i was like come on yeah i thought you were i thought you were cool like i thought you could tell i'm a white boy that's got soul look at me in my lime and my light blue tuxedo i was like i got i got drip you know and i just and she i don't and then she's like he's going back for it and then i had then i was i was like it was just the most and then chelsea piers getting caught with anything by an authority in school you're like fuck and then it dropping out and being like metal and just clanking on the tile and you're like yeah it's all right you got me i got caught um i this is 1999 you could go online in these these websites i think i might have told the story before on podcast i'm sorry if i'm what they called a um a gag id it was like a joke id like make yourself from cataween in the star wars universe okay really what it was was you sent in a passport photo we'll give you a fake id so i got one that said connecticut that i was 21 years old right and this is before the anheuser bush book where they could check to see what the licenses look like oh wow so if you brought it into a liquor store indian dude didn't give a fuck you just look at and be like all right and you would look for a seal to like make sure it was real there were no like uh holograms it was like way easier to it was way how old were you when you 16 so i was doing i did it for cigarettes but then i started drinking yeah when i was 17 18 i was 17 when i started drinking so then i'm like oh let's buy booze and then i become the guy that can get booze and then you start seeing how people are popular look who's guys from other schools that wouldn't let us into parties damn are all of a sudden like bro you could go get us a bowl a bottle of goldschlager and an aftershock yeah it was like the grossest shit like why would you want this pineapple schnapps and shit like that where you're like smearing off ice shit like that and i'm from a family of alcoholics so when i got into drinking it was like the way i got into smoking i started smoking reds when i started smoking this wasn't like i wasn't having ultra lights and then i built my tolerance up it's like i dumped i jumped into the deep end i was drinking honey brown ale and whiskey and i would buy like whiskey and then i was 17 yeah - Tough. - Tough, dude. - Tough, dude. - Loved vodka. - Ew. - 'Cause you could mix it. juice and vodka was my shit for a while um do you remember the first time you blacked out yeah cranberry and it was on cheap vodka and cranberry juice and i woke up and was startled i was like yeah it's like it's like you're waking up from a dream you got the reboot what i didn't like was being good at blacking out like a stuntman i knew how to land i knew how to take the fall i would like i would like get ready where i'd like start handing people stuff being like hey i'm gonna black out just if i see you know what i mean like i would you'll have to excuse me yeah dude i would it would start coming on like a werewolf where i'd be like i'm uh i'm starting to go so i'll see you tomorrow what did you do the first time you blacked out i'm curious if you have any i was in high school and i think we were just drinking at this party did you do anything out of like your normal deep conversations that i didn't remember oh confession confession of a lot of feelings yeah almost worse like i love you like you know wasn't ever letting it out so that's where it was starting to come around popping some zits yeah yeah you know what about you uh we were playing quarters with jack daniels oops oopsies what a stupid the youth is so dumb such that it's we're like we don't have any alcohol we don't have any uh beer so we might as well play quarters with jack daniels and i got fucking wrecked and i i blacked out i started hitting on everybody's girlfriend bro bro every oh my close personal friend let me talk to you a little piece there for a second hit mush their face away yeah swinging on people which is yeah you act in a way that you go that is not me no and i think that's why it was so funny to my friends but like what happened to he's a good man he's a he's a you know yeah when you wake up and have you know what that feeling is what started happening to me in new york was one of the reasons but that was like oh here it yeah i'd get drunk and i'd be like oh my god i'm gonna be like oh my god i'm gonna be like oh my god and i'd start shit talking comics that i didn't expect it yeah and i'd get real big with it yeah i'd get real big with it and then i wake up the next day and go no it was like the feeling of anxiety oh i've listed i used to talk about people are laughing because you're doing it and it's like funny but it's you know it's gonna get back to it's somebody that's what i that's one thing about drinking i never did i never i never put booze and stand up together which is like i never went on stage it just did i saved it from my townie friends i'm gonna get fucked up and stand up i'm gonna get fucked up and stand up i'm gonna get fucked up so smart because i dude i can't tell you you know the only feeling messy messy messy the only feeling that comes close and i truly mean this is when you talk shit on a podcast yeah because then you wake up the next day and you go what did i fucking say on that podcast it's like you like black out when you're having fun you go i think i talk shit and um i well i did it one time we there was a there there was a like a party in queens that all like stand i never hung out with like stand-ups outside uh so i was like all right we'll go and i got fucked up drove there of course yeah ask me if i ever got a dui no solid dude me neither never and you're out and i did it a lot really oh every time a success and they think it's luck my wife's like it's not you just got lucky not luck one crime at a time i shouldn't be advocating this sure but i'm just saying if you speak truth to power well it is one crime at a time people get a little greedy like i'm gonna speed and drink and drive wrong just drive at you're already wasted behind the wheel i'll tell you right now go five over yes sir go five over use your blinkers there is a in one of hunter s thompson's uh essay books i don't think it's generation of swine it's one of them so it might be songs of the doom it's so funny you brought i just i just watched fear and loathing last night it's great but it what he writes an essay on the proper way to drive drunk or not and it excuse me i'm i'm i'm putting two stories together he tells you the proper way to pull off a highway when you're being pulled over yes and he says you you speed up he says the cops behind you speed up because you don't just pull over to the shoulder where it's a danger he wants because they'll respect you but then also he gives in another essay that he says if you are drinking and driving powerful music helps turned up very loudly yeah again tested his theory again i don't drink anymore yeah i don't drink anymore a lot of drives through the desert where there has been some very loud music played and it does but you should not drink and drive yeah never drinking here at the soda podcast we are against drinking and driving but there is like a moment like but there is a way to celebrate if you've done it and successfully if you're like i remember being on the bqe and like just right to the windows down and i'm rolling a cigarette and driving with my knees i listen to a song i love and i'm just like i'm gonna live forever and you kind of do and you but usually your grandpa goes a cigarette on the bqe buy a pack you bum rolling it up yeah i i would say that version for me was when i would be driving home loading a bowl and i would smoke and then this was what would happen get the bowl out throw it out but it doesn't go out so it goes come back in and then you go like just getting towards oh fuck yeah fuck oh fuck but dude no way no way i don't even man i'm so old now that when i drive my vision and stuff i'm like i have to fucking lock it they're right youth is wasteful wasted on the uh what do they say yeah youth is on the young yeah it's just like greg giraldo had that unbelievable bit where he's like the drinking age should be 40 he goes because then you do it too much in your 20s and then you can't when you're 40 and he goes and i'm not gonna lie parent teacher conferences might be a little better with a big shot of jack and some fat rails that's a great job yeah and he goes what is reading i don't know it's just like a thing where you're taking thoughts off the page but you think that and it's like when i love a good bit it also makes a good point where you go yeah man he's like our bodies are tight when we're 18 and we're doing drugs and shit but i thought about that how long you've been sober i've been sober for seven so my prime drinking age was really 22 to 29 that's exactly my prime so i and it's funny now i'm like that the seven how old are you 35 oh yeah you have a much carry yourself with a wiser that's why i said 40s because i go you got to be around but yeah it's just a bad childhood i was thinking about this it does age you like an oak barrel oh sure yeah go you can go have some blanco tequila or you can have that repasado i have a dad that didn't talk to you that'll do it yeah i think the it is interesting that the ingredients for a serial killer are almost identical to the ingredients for a comedian what it is is it is and up and like an mma fighter sure yeah right i guess so there are like paths you can choose you know what it is um our moms never pinched our wieners if only it's some it's always something like that killers where it's like this thing where they're like parents were abusive and they got a boner off it right right right those wires got crossed oh no i got a fucking sex and violence yeah ours was like um value became entertainment became value or like breaking the ice or like like the emotion or regulating the emotional temperature of a room 100 you're like yep that's kind of the job brother that was sure and i love my mom we've had open conversations about this that was exactly how i was raised always i was the i was there to lighten the mood taking care of people lighten care of adults look over here they're like you're an old soul you're like i shouldn't be yeah i you know you've aged my young soul this looks like a nine-year-old lives in this office you know because my whole childhood i was going look over here bankruptcy alcoholism it's my impression of of bill cosby telling you that you've been served that's exactly it and they go like i love this and then you go home you go it's like that was the end of the shift going into your room and talking to your he-man of course we were smoking early of course people like how'd you smoke cigarettes and play with gi joes you go i was off a shift i was just going out going on i was hr for a house i go she doesn't appreciate the fact that i'm bringing up all these whimsical references yeah i go i made a fucking i made a prince of tides reference in there she's that's not my demo and she's staring she's theirs and she did you do your homework this bitch this bitch yeah yeah it is absolutely but i also think like um sometimes people what's funny enough is when i talk about quitting drinking or going through it they go like this again and you go a lot it's a defining moment in your life but i also am starting to get older and realize like oh those people are starting to realize their time on the train might be over oh yeah you're a complete mirror to be that's what you learn when you sober up too like this love some some people will not like it they'll they'll try to be like you were more fun and it's like i have a friend like that now it's like hey we used to hang out more and i'm like yeah i'm not going to a fucking bar you take booze out of almost anything that's supposedly fun and it's it's not fun it's not you're you'll see it for what it is you're sitting in a room yeah you're just sitting in a room with music and i can barely hear you talking this isn't that fun no and it is it is one of those things where i used to fucking hate people that got sober if you brought people that if you brought someone that had and by the way positively gotten sober right right dude i don't drink in my life so much better i'd be like get the fuck away from me but it would be in this how dare you get sober at me that's exactly how but it'd be like in this subconscious way where i'd be like ha ha cool fuck you get out of my face and they'd be like whoa and then i'd be drinking beer and i'd be like i'm sorry come here you don't do this anymore and it was because it you're right like it holds up a mirror they hate people go like oh fuck this is who i am yeah they don't like it yeah and they treat you like a narc like oh like you're like recording everything like i've thought about this a lot like when you're hanging out with people who are getting fucked up they like you're not you're not part of the group anymore no they think that you're always judging them you're like you're not you're like a little i mean it depends what you're doing but for the most part i'm not judging you also can i tell you the one that hurts the most and i don't know if you'll if you'll identify with this maybe it's the friend of the friend that's getting fucked up with them that casts suspicion on you that makes you feel ostracized from everybody there oh we're just like a guy you don't know well and he's like well you don't drink and you go no i don't drink they go all right all right you're doing a shot and you go now you've made me your enemy this might not benefit me in this battle but my friend the war the war i'll win that's how i feel where i go tomorrow this bachelor party goes on for four days you have made sober bachelor one king a hell of an enemy did you just get it honestly what do you do i won't do it anymore no it's i'm in my 40s uh my friends are mostly married mostly have kids but the ones that are getting married if they go we have bachelor i go i politely i politely decline yeah it's just just impossible he can't also if you're watching and you don't drink and your friends have a bachelor parties that is a acceptable boundary yeah yeah i mean also it depends where it like you know what kind of thing yeah new orleans no i this this oh yeah the beignets will do just as much as a hurricane fuck out of here this is the first time like it was like six months into being sober my wife and i we got engaged and so i went to um we went to new orleans to celebrate and then i was like as soon as i got there i was like i'm so mad at you that you picked this place i quit and started drinking in my head probably like a thousand times i'm like i'm gonna do it i'm gonna drink again almost i'm gonna fucking drink again i'm here the same exact experience i wanted to girlfriend i was like how could you do this to me wanted to go on vacation i said well where should we go she said new orleans didn't think twice right landed and went right it's a year and a half ago this would be now i'm going on ghost tours and now i gotta go do shit we're just like chubby spooky ladies you're like this is this is disgusting oh vampires live there really they go i want to be in the treme blacked out smoking cigarettes talking to a guy that washed ashore there was this place called red's chinese we went to this place red chinese and it was it's like american chinese fusion they had thai iced tea with rum and i was like it's wrong not to try something so good and it's that's unbelievable yeah that's that makes me angry when i hear that something how delicious yeah there was that sounds perfect um pig and whistle for a little you know the bars in the city oh yeah they used to do this one where they would there was like a um lemonade or it was a iced tea which is now very popular iced tea flavored vodka and they would do things instead of arnold palmer's called john daly's and brother had about seven of those and i was real john daly but i'd go to pig and whistle and have like fuck it i couldn't stop i'd have to go to the like seven of them and then i'd be on the porch after i got off my lunch shift like this at 6 30 p.m walking to the guy at wall street being like you're ruining the country like that and then like we got to put you on the end train back to the story and i'd be like you fucking paris one time i had a table did you get nasty drunk uh to people i didn't like really i'd kind of be like a i like i kind of wanted i kind of wanted to smoke i bet to say you're a big dude too so it's like don't want to do the one time where i was like that was it and i have told the story before apology i'm always going to apologize for double dipping on stories because i know that they've heard it and they're like i've heard this before i got drunk uh so i was wait i was doing a dinner shift big party like uh but under enough for auto gratuity so it was like six it was like a six top drank eight great it was a business night out they tipped me like shit they tipped me like i think on under 15 possibly 10 i go to cb6 the bar we used to hang out at around the corner i called uh stag's head it's on 51st and second but it's where we stag's head yeah i don't know they like change names but it was a bar where we would all go it's where everyone would meet up yeah i go in i'm having a couple shots i'm having a couple beers i'm going outside i'm having a couple cigarettes i'm pretty drunk and then i realize across the bar is the six top that didn't yo and the guys buying a beer and i start to jaw a lot where i go to them yeah i go you don't tip what are you doing dude i just go you don't fucking tip and then one of the girls from the party goes our waiter like that and i go you guys didn't fucking tip me this bitch doesn't tip either and then watching them it was it was the thing where like it's like what i said when i woke up and it's like the blackout feeling where i went i know but it feels real good in the moment i'll tell you that you're like this is who i am i don't know if you've ever had athletes foot they tell you not to scratch it but your socks are on and you scratch in between your toes but it's going to lead to more of a rash right it's just like that's what it was where i was like fuck i didn't need to do that but it felt good and that might yeah there's so many times why just across the bar being like fuck you i was so bad tallest guy at the bar foghorn of a voice coming across at you fuck that guy but shout out cb6 that was the first place that would lock the door and let us smoke what do you miss more cigarettes or boozing um it depends on the day i would say drinking drinking like i miss it because i miss being like in a place without being in a place like that's that was my favorite part you get to just kind of be present and you you know things become more fun but then you know i like it's not too much longer i liked that part of it of oh look at this airport bar it's now a fun hang yep or we're in the backyard of someone's house and we're having beers and it's oh we're gonna get more beers like that it coalesces a night in a way that you really can't like yeah i don't get swept up in the night anymore as a sober person yeah i go home i will say um how burt kreischer romanticizes it yeah accurate where you go the sun's going down you just want an extra drink you got to give it up at a certain i mean you i mean or you don't or you ride you rock with it guys that rock with it all the way through god bless but i think there's like a lot of us like me and you we weren't going to make it to past 30 five you know the thing is too like when you see your parents do it you're like to live this life twice what a what a waste though also i watched my dad abandoned two families two yeah i watched like well i didn't watch the first one because i was too young but i knew i saw the stats you heard tell and i i just became a thing where it was like you know what it's weird it's talking about being a comedian breaking the pressure you know what really got me tired of people of drinking what was how dumb people get on booze yeah how dumb and like how funny every thing is and when you're sober and they're clapping each other on the back you're like that's like it's nothing was said yeah it's like when i try to write jokes she said it's like when i try to write jokes high if i'm too high and i try to write a joke i go this makes no sense really i i don't really smoke i don't smoke weed because it freaks me out like i used to smoke weed obviously but then i i started having thoughts like what does it mean to know somebody and i was like i think i've had enough of this yeah brother there is there is about you're just staring at your no i follow i follow the line i deep sea dive i do one of those you know the answer though you never get to an answer no but that's not the point of it the point of it's to see how far down you can dive and then you come back up horrible yeah you know those people that free dive yeah sure that's all i do i mentally free dive almost every day i like it it's good you're gonna get the bends dan no you come up slow when you kick towards the light that's where you get in trouble now you follow the light up and then you go that was a lot yeah um peter revell is one of the funniest stand-up comics working uh watch everything i've done i've done a lot of things i've done i've done a lot of things you have a tour yeah i guess that's what they're calling it yeah we got a tour yeah peteravello.com uh and or uh punch up punch up dot live that slash is it peter repeat revello peter peter revello r-e-v-e-l-l-o nice dan go to punch up watch all of his shit subscribe find out when he's coming to your town i promise you this guy's fucking hilarious you'll have a hoot and a holler yeah hell yeah you