Wisconsin Dells

(phone ringing) - Hi, David. - Hi, Riz, about how's it going? - Going good, how are you? - I'm good. Today's episode is about America's water park capital. And I'm just wondering how you feel about water parks and water slides because in New Zealand, I feel like we don't have a lot of slides. - No, we heard that why we'd have hot pools that had some slides. I have an artwork on my wall that's about one of the slides at that water park. - Oh. - That was called Bob's Mistake. Did you ever, do you remember that slide? - No, but pray tell, please tell me. - Well, it was a slide that I think stopped quite a bit earlier than it was meant to. So there was a bit of a jump of memory saved and there might be wrong. But I was talking about it with a friend of mine and they were like, "Bob was my granddad." And they named the slide Bob's Mistake 'cause it was his mistake. - That's really amazing. Do we know how Bob feels about his slide and being the slide being called Bob's Mistake? - I think that's a really good question that I did not ask. - Have you ridden on Bob's Mistake? - I'm scared of the water. - Have you been on many slides or have you do actually avoid them? - I've been on many dry slides. - Okay, dry slides, but not many water slides. - I guess actually this could apply to any slides, but there was an urban legend back in the day when urban legends were really popular about someone embedding razor blades into the sides of water slides. - I remember that fear. - And I, it's just like, I just think about that and I just can't. Even though I know that's not gonna happen. - I'm David Farrier in New Zealand and accidentally marooned in America and I wanna figure out what makes this country tick. Now feel like for as long as we've been doing this podcast, listeners have been urging us to go to the delts. The water park capital of the United States. The water park capital of the world. - Robert, try these stats on for size. Wisconsin delts has more configurations of indoor and outdoor water parks per capita than anywhere else on the planet over 16 million gallons of water flows through every day. There are over 220 water slides at the delts and it has America's biggest water park, Noah's Ark Spanning, guess how many acres, Rob, you'll never guess. Seventy. - Seventy. - With three miles of water slides just in that one park. The water parks of the delts also feature America's tallest water slide and the largest man-made naturally filtered lake in the world. It sounds like heaven, but Rob refused to go. So I went alone. So get ready to get wet and avoid all those razor blades because this is the delts episode. (upbeat music) ♪ Fly this ♪ ♪ Fly this ♪ ♪ Fly this bird ♪ ♪ Touchdown in America ♪ ♪ I'm fly this bird ♪ ♪ Touchdown in America ♪ - Hi, Robert. - Hello, David. - Water slides. Did you remember the myth of the razor blades impeded? - I don't think that ever got to me. - Really? - There's razor blades in Halloween candy. I know that myth, which has been mostly debunked. - Mostly debunked. - And I think razor blades and art syringes and movie theater seats. - Yeah, that was a thing. - Did you have our member always razor blades and bobbing for apples? Was that a thing you do in America? - Bobbing for apples, but no, we don't put razor blades in. - No, but that was like an urban myth of those razor blades. And you'll bite into the apple to get out of the water and there would be a razor blade embedded in it. - Yeah, all of these sound kind of like, they sound adjacent to the satanic panic to me. - 100%. - To where I don't know that there were many cases of any of these. - I don't think it ever happened. - No. - [email protected] if you ever got sliced by a razor blade going down a water slide. - Rays blades aside. - How do you feel about water slides? - They start with water slides and then get onto the delts. - In theory, love a water slide. - Waterpark is not my favorite place. - No, I feel like the sick and this topic was raised. You were, your bristles went up. You expressed apprehension about the idea of visiting the water park. - I feel like yeah, I was all for you going. - You were, you have been quite some time. - It was a great idea for you to go to a water park. - And I'm deeply glad I finally went. - I have very fond memories of going to the water park as a child. - Yeah. - What water park are we talking about? Like your local one? - We had a local water park called SeaScape. That was like summer camp, go to the pool every day. - That sounds pretty great. - That's part of it with two big slides, one body slide, one tube slide. And then two drop slides. - Did you do the thing where you've got a whole lot of bodies at the top of the slide and you block it? - So all the water would back up behind you and then it would rock it you out even quicker? - Yeah, you weren't allowed to do that. There were people working the pool that. - I mean, we weren't allowed to do that. - I don't need to do that. - But we did it 'cause we were bad asses. - Yeah. But there was also an indoor water park near us called Raging Waters. - Sounds good. - Remember having a birthday party or two there, which that was more slides. I do like, oh, I mean a water slide is fun. - I was not too like about a water slide. - Okay, so you like a water slide? What then, when I say. - I like a water slide. I have not been on a water slide in probably 20 years. - A really long time. - Yeah. - I mean, they are primarily the domain of children. And I don't know why we grow out. Is adults, why are we growing out of water slides? So we had a great time on them at some point. Why are we not doing it now? - Well, so did you go to water parks a lot as a kid? - Well, I always said we didn't really have many. Like we had like one or two and that was kind of it. - There was also, the Disney World had blizzard beach. I remember going there as a kid as well. - What the fuck is a beach? - A giant water park that's part of Disney. - That's cool. - Do you have any preference of slide types? - No, I mean, I don't even know. - No, I mean, I'm talking like we have, I mean, New Zealand is small. You know, like we don't have big theme parks. We don't have big water parks. So I haven't been on that many slides. - Yeah, 'cause there are many different types. There's closed ones that are like dark tunnels, big drops. I'm not a roller coaster person. So I, - You and me both. - Didn't love like the crazy drop ones, but I like the fast ones. - You want speed. - A place like blizzard beach would have like the insane drop, like massive. - No, screw that. - Yeah, just slide story, slide down. Wouldn't do that. - No. - Tube slides, do you know about any? - No, I mean, that tube slide's just the enclosed ones, right? You're in a tube. - I'm talking more inner tubes or in a tube in a slide. - Yeah, they had inner tubes at sea scape. We're having one of them. You either have a solo one or a double. - That's fun. - Spin around a little bit. - What are the slide types that we got? - Drop slides. The slide will start and then it will just end and the water will be kicking you just like straight drop down. - Oh, I don't like that. - I didn't love those as a little kid, but then eventually got the courage. They were fine. Yeah, you got to kind of plug your nose to go on those. - Yeah, so to get up there. - Okay. - Those are your slide types. - Slide types of the rope. - Okay, so our second point of curiosity here, what do you make of the delts? Because I wanted to visit the delts because there's a culture around the delts. And that's what I was also curious about. What are your impressions of the delts? And how often have you been to the delts? - So I think the delts were only two and a half hours from where I grew up and we would often go up there verb vacations. - You pack your bags. Mom and dad would say, "Rob it." "Rough to the delts." - Go to the del's time share. - Close the time chair. - I don't think we did water parks there much as kids. - Okay. - Which is odd because I know my children go with my parents now in all their cousins. - They feature in this episode. - And they go to lots of water parks. - Yeah. - What were you doing as a child? What were you doing in the delts? What activities? - I don't remember doing much other than hanging out in the time share to be honest. - So you just drive to this face of water parks and kind of stay in the hotel sort of premises. - It's not even a hotel though. I think the time share that we went to up there were like little cabins in the woods. These little like standalone cabins. So that is mostly my memory. There was a skiing nearby as well. - Would you go in winter or summer? - Or both. - I think we mostly went in the winter. - So that would, but they have indoor water parks. - Yeah, but no big water park. Such a strange thing. I feel it's just your parents trying to use their time share, right? Just trying to get it ticked off. - Yeah. - May use of it. - Yeah. - So we're just going to this other place, this other house. - I remember there was Ripley's, believe it or not, up there. So there is a stretch of-- - There's a strip. - The delts with lots of gimmicky strip things that I recall. - Also, the other thing that I sort of always forget about there, there is natural beauty in the delts before the water parks. - Beautiful, beautiful rock formations. - Yeah. - Beautiful nature. - Yeah. - And then shrimp, it's like water park central. - Yeah. And I think a lot of the water parks are connected to hotels. So it is more of a come here and never leave. Stay here all week. - Yes. - In the room, down to the water park all day. Back to the room. - I don't think the time share was part of a water park until recently. So that is probably why we did not go then. 'Cause it would have been extra to go to the water park. - So we had to go to the delves and not be doing water parks. - Is this your first water park visit? - This is my first American water park visit. And it's definitely my first visit to the biggest water park, capital in America. - Do we need to set up what happened with this trip? - What happened with the trip? - I was on my summer trip. - Yes. - And we had just left the boys with my parents. - Yes. - 'Cause we embarked to a trip to Toronto in New York and then you texted me and said, hey, I think I'm gonna go to the delves this weekend to get an episode or two. I said, well, great. Vincent and Calvin will be at the delves. - Which is the weirdest time you've all time. - Yes. - I have no idea how that line was. - On planned, they were there for four, I think they were supposed to go over three days. They had so much fun. They extended it to a fourth day. - Yeah. - And it happened overlap with your trips to the delves. - Which is kind of perfect. - Yes. - It was perfect timing. It was incredible timing. It made you probably feel a little less creepy being out of water parks since there were-- - Yeah. Well, I just met up with him at the end. So-- - Oh, so you were at many-- - I was at many friends. - Yeah, it was a weird-- It's a weird place to be as an adult on your own. I get into that. This is my adventure in the delves. - To me, the delves is like Vegas. A similar feeling of things feeling somehow too big with too many people. Leading to this overall feeling of things feeling utterly unhinged. But unhinged in a way that's geared towards kids. So instead of giant casinos, there are giant water parks. Instead of strip clubs, there are endless varieties of fudge doors. I've never seen so much fudge in one place. The delves even has its own kind of strip except instead of sex and booze. It's candy and paintball. Driving in, I was struck by this giant outdoor water slide that was rotating 360 degrees. God knows what was going on inside. But that's why I was here to find out about the inside of the delves, the inside knowledge, the secrets, the inside scoop and scandals. So I met up with someone who knows the delves well. We met outside a wedding chapel. Again, very Vegas. - Morning Rays. - What is your favorite thing about Wisconsin? - Memo three things. - The culture, the outdoors, focus of it, and really the beauty of the state that you take it for granted when you hear and then you miss it when you leave, learn that, and then the packers. - I wasn't here to talk about the packets. I wanted to talk to Andrew, not his real name, because as well as growing up here, he also has a very specific job. - I built swimming pools for a living. They're all over the place. You don't realize how many pools there are until you're in the industry and apartment complexes, schools, communities, water parks, everywhere. - How many pools do you reckon you've been involved with over your years in this game? - Probably 200, at least. Ranging everywhere from almost bathtub size to Olympic size swimming pools. - And have you built stuff for any of the parks here? - Yeah, I have, actually, at least three of them. Our company has been involved in every single water park and hotel here pretty much, so. - For a man who builds pools, he's in the right place. - And talking to him, I realized there's plenty of crossover with other flatless bridge episodes as well. - Got to work for quite a few wealthy clients, Pleasant Roland of American Girl. We've built the pool for Liz Uline. That company is insanely big. - What do they do? - They supply the boxes for Amazon. That's one of the things they do. - Some American? - Weepflowers, look, your favorite. - Which temporarily interrupted by another very American thing. - Here is the sum, as we interview, there is a man that is leaf blowing and maybe five leaves. You see where I hate them, right? - Oh yeah. - There was no need to blow. There were about five leaves there in front of us on the pavement. - Yeah, there wasn't any need for that. - I drove past Mount Olympus, which has the most batshit and sane water park feature I've seen, which is a slide that is rotating in real time. - Yeah. - Which looked terrifying. And you had something to do with that? - Yes, we built the pools for it and did the piping for the slide. At the time it was built, it was the only one in the Western hemisphere. Like there's only like four or five in the world. - Can you explain how it works to all the systems who don't know sort of what I'm talking about, yeah? - Not really. It looks like a Ferris wheel and the selling point is you get to have multiple tubes in it at one time. You kind of drop levels. So they can have up to 12 riders at the same time in the slide. And I don't know if it's correct or not, but from what I remember is that the concept of the design was come up by middle schooler in Germany and a company bought the concept from him and the engineers made it work. I've rode it once, it's like an acid trip. You don't know up from down or left from right, it's insane. - Okay, so Andrew was mostly right. It's called a slide wheel. It was originally developed by a German company that manufactures rollercoasters and water slides. I found an interview with a co-founder of the company and he said this, believed or not, the ride was inspired by a six year old boy from Switzerland back in 2012. He had a vision of a rotating water slide. We've patented the idea and have kept ourselves busy developing it ever since. I also ask Andrew who the big dogs are in town as far as water parks go. Who are the big dogs here? - Parks wise it's Mount Olympus, Kala Hari, Wilderness. There is Shula Vista, which is just north of town. The amount of water they lose every day. Tens of thousands of gallons per park. - Oh fucks. - Where's it going? Who knows? Mainly into the drains gets recycled, but just the amount of leaks in the water they go through. The fact that the parks are constantly broken, like everything's getting fixed all the time. And it's just 'cause of the use, it's normal. - What's breaking, is it like the systems underneath that are recycling the water, the actual slides? - More like pumps and just valves rusting out and being used, seals breaking, normal plumbing issues that's just accelerated by use and volume. - Well you've got tens of thousands of people going through there every day, it's crazy. - A particularly crazy story about the Mount Olympus water park has always stuck in his mind. - Apparently when they turned on the wave pool that was built, they started it at full power and it emptied all the water out of the street. I think it actually runs at about 10% of what it's capable of doing. - Yeah, wave pools are insanely dangerous, they're crazy. - Added to that, he reckons about three-quarters of kids who come here can't swim. - Especially the crowd in the summer comes from like Chicago, Minneapolis, cities where it's not necessarily a necessity to learn how to swim. Yeah, and then people think that they can just go jump into a five-foot wave pool and be fine. - Nah, this is sort of the thing no one wants to think about when it comes to water parks, but obviously you've got a shit ton of kids in there. - In water. How many sort of disasters are going on with like kids pissing and shooting themselves and that kind of thing? Or is it like under control? Or is it like pretty hectic? - I think it depends on the day really, but yeah, every single one of them, every pool you're in, whether at home or commercial, it's got piss in it. The one thing I've learned is, if you ever walk into an indoor pool or hotel in your eye, start stinging, that's not chlorine. That's uric acid, that's urea. That's the chlorine working and it's piss. It's unbalanced pool. It being around a pool should never burn your eyes. - Stay tuned for more Flightless Bird. We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors. - Support for Flightless Bird comes from Square. 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Do you have a favorite park here and completely out of the realm of what parks you've worked on and which ones you haven't? Is there a favorite you have? Landon Atura, that just opened. It's so relaxed. It's fun. As an adult, it's fun. I'd go there today by myself and just relax. Yeah, I think it's America's largest inflatable water park. And it's like a 14 million gallon man-made lake that filters itself. It's awesome. He's talking about the water park I'd mentioned in my intro. The largest man-made naturally filtered lake in the world. This felt like a good idea to me, so I set off for the land of Natura. The first thing that strikes me about the land of Natura is that the water park doesn't stink of chlorine. Staring into the crystal clear water, I can see fish. And set up on the lake, these giant inflatable slides and platforms as far as the eye can see. The whole thing is a brain child, the brothers Adam, David and Rich. We were born and raised here, so we've been here for five decades. Their parents immigrated from Poland in 1969. After meeting each other in Chicago, they came to the delves on holiday and just decided to stay. First thing they bought was a 14-unit motel called the Sierra motel. And since then, we've grown up in the delves, and for over 50 years, now we've grown to three resorts, over 350 rooms, two restaurants, and land in Natura. What was the land growing up in the delves? Because you've been here a lot of your whole lives. All growing up in the delves is like growing up at an amusement park slash resort. We had to do everything from wash dishes to clean rooms to check people in to take care of maintenance issues, plunge toilets. And here we are today, and we've built this beautiful adventure in water theme park. This place is one of the newest packs on the block, open for about four years. The reservoir is 15 million gallons. We're turning the lake over twice, which is 30 million gallons, and then we're circulating another 20 million. So there's no stagnant water. The water is always moving and filtering and cleaning itself. And then it goes over our 400 foot waterfall, which puts oxygen back into the water, which is very crucial for the whole ecosystem of work. They tell me this water is so clean, you could technically drink it. We got the results back, and it was drinkable, potable water, but in the state of Wisconsin, like other states, it's not considered potable, unless you have some sort of disinfectant added to it. So you have to have chlorine or fluoride, something in it. Then it's deemed potable, right? But our water is potable, but not legal, the potable. So kind of we created our own natural space. After having a wee swim in a splash to counter the freshness of this place, I sit off for the largest indoor water park here, Kalahari, where I met the Big Boss. My name is John Chaston. I'm the general manager here at Kalahari Resort. And this is the biggest indoor park here, right? This is probably the biggest and we're about to almost double in size. We're opening an expansion. I'll show you today that opens this fall. So currently our indoor park alone is 125,000 square feet, and we're adding another 85,000 square feet. So just under rough, a couple hundred thousand square feet, and then we have an outdoor park as well. John tells me the vast majority of people that come to Wisconsin Dells drive here. So they live three or four hours away, as opposed to flying in. He says families often come for a staycation. That's why there's such massive resorts that come with each park. And while we're here in the summer, I remind myself this place gets even busier in the winter. When I was a kid, there was no indoor water park, but we would come for the outdoor water parks in the Dells. When the indoor water park was invented here in the Dells and then exploded over the course of four or five years and went from nothing to several, it turned this entire community into a year-round destination. And so we went from closing down in September to the point where there literally would be one gas station, one restaurant, one hotel open. Yeah. To now, some of our busiest times are on weekends in the winter when it's 20 below zero, and people want to get into some warm weather, they're going to come to an indoor water park. John points out that only around 3,000 people live here in the Dells, the rest of tourists, or seasonal workers that come in on J1 visas, with over 12,000 jobs that need filling here, all the parks and resorts rely on those J1s. And it's probably one of the most unique capitalism examples of where the competition drove the overall destination. Everyone had to have the next biggest water park. Everyone had to have the next cool restaurant. Everyone had to have the next ride. If it had been built by a big corporate world, it would have been built once. That's the place. So in a way, the Dells is the Dells, not because of geographic location, but because of how it was organically built by entrepreneurs. All of this felt very family-friendly and fun. But if it's one thing I know about America, it's that underneath everything, there's a sedia side, surely that exists here too in the Dells. So I went back to speak to Andrew some more, telling him about my own fears of the water. You always get scared of the drainage and like, we're all the shits going over in the dirt and there. I always see like a floating band-aid in there. Like, is there any kind of filthy knowledge about poles you can tell me? The Virginia Something Baker Act in 2008, it happened to a senator's granddaughter and one other woman in Minnesota at the same time. The only reason the law changed is because it was Senator's granddaughter. It was an eight-year-old girl and she sat on a drain and got disemboweled by the suction. So now all the drains have to be a certain build that you can't cover it with your body. Speaking of disembowed bellies and the swimming pools of your, I wanted to know about the underbelly of the Dells. Yeah, there's a more like a nightlife. I don't know if I call it quite an underbelly, but it's like any tourist attraction, but there's a lot of bachelorette parties. You don't see it during the day. They're all sleeping. There's three gentleman's clubs in the area. A lot of Airbnb's and rentals and golf, but yeah, the nightlife here is quite insane. There's a couple Vegas-style dance clubs and then just your die bars and it can get a little rowdy. I mean, you're right off the interstate. You have an influx of tens of thousands of people every week and just like anything, I think it follows where the people are and where the money is. So it's not seen, but it's here. One of the gentleman's clubs, there's girls that come in from all over the US to work there because the money's still good on the weekends. Traveling dancers. So like said, it's here. The money's here, so people follow it. I'd also heard mumblings of mafia-like behavior in the early days here. Big money with dicey origins. I'm gonna beep this bit so we don't get sued. It's kind of an open secret, but the owner started by owning some bars and a pizza place that he used to launder his cocaine money to buy the is this an open secret? Has it ever been written about or is it just this background noise? I don't know if it's been written about, but locals know it's mafia-style stories. But yeah, moving lots of drugs and using a pizza place to launder the money. Again, it all feels very vagus, very American. Now, coped up origin stories or not would be a crime to be in the Dalles and not talk to some kids. And luckily for me and a complete coincidence, Rob's kids were in the Dalles as well. Okay, but you haven't made me meet you. I have a bathing suit. I bought my togs. Okay. Vincent and Calvin had driven here from Chicago. While they had driven, but their grandparents had. And from what I could tell, they'd had a blast. What's been your favorite thing so far? My favorite thing so far has probably been the slides. My favorite thing in the slides. I think it's a good call. I mean, we are here for the slides. What did you like most about the slide? Siding. Was it scary? No. You must have been a little bit scared. You knotted your head slightly. Is it nice being here with your family? Yeah. Has Calvin been a good older brother? I don't know. Have you been a good older brother? He ride it on my back when we were running the GPS because he was like holding onto me so hard. And I made him go on the slide. And then after he really, really liked it. Is it nice being away from your dad for a little bit of a dad holiday or do you miss him? I miss him at 60, like a 70 out of, actually like a 85 out of 100. It's pretty high. Do you miss your dad? Yeah. How much a lot are a little bit? A lot. Before I left the delves, I wanted to check out the outskirts of the delves. I'd seen enough of the giant parks and fudge stores. I wanted somewhere a bit more rowdy and I found it a 15 minute drive out of town. Yeah. So this is an adult's only resort camping resort with an awesome dive bar and pools and the vibe is great. And it's a great place to get a decent price beer and just enjoy the vibes. Log cabin, cool vibes. It's cold age of delves because it's at the age of the delves and as I walk in a covers band is in full swing. >> If you want me to interview, I'm interviewing you. >> Okay, that's great. >> Okay, so you're from New Zealand. How long have you been in the coming of the States? Or do you live in the States? >> I lived in California for about five years now. >> Sorry to hear that. >> Wow, shots fired. >> Yeah. >> This is Mary and she's had a few to drink. She says peak delts for her was in the 90s. >> So I worked in the delts in the 90s. Not from here, but works in the delts. It was college kids, it was a great time. Everybody always, I don't care if you work for the ducks. Nozark, back in the day, it was a family land, which is now mon Olympus. Pizza pub, Kalahari didn't exist. Everybody went out at night, and it was a great time. There was house parties, the Tammy Bartlett's, and now, you don't have that. I don't know if because the American college kids don't want to work, and we pull in all J ones, nothing against J ones, but it's not the same. They don't go out like what we did back in the 90s. And I met some of my best people in my life back then, like my best friend. We met work in here at the golf course in 1997. >> Everyone here seems happy to talk, and I even bump into a few flightless bird listeners who'd recommended this place. >> So my name is Candace Wade, and I have lived within 30 minutes of Wisconsin Delts for my entire life in one direction or another. >> And my name is Jordan. And I have basically the same thing grew up 10 miles away, and haven't gone far from it. >> So when tourists come to town, they're thinking in the water parks, the slides, the fudge shops, and for us, it's kind of like our backyard, but more than that, it's like this little anomaly because if you leave the Delts, you are in rural Wisconsin. You're in farmland. And so to see that dichotomy, I think is really cool. >> When I was younger, all I wanted to do was go to Disney, I thought this is nothing special. We did it every other weekend, come go do golf carts in the summer, but now I realize we're in a special place, we get a very fun little town right in our area. >> So I was a kid back in the early 90s, and so it was a lot more mom and pop back then. I mean, it's still like local owners, but it's consolidated a lot. And so the tiny attractions are getting bought up by the big players so that I would be the biggest change. >> Everyone I meet here is also quick to point out the place across the road, Chubby's, apparently pretty iconic in these parts. >> Chubby's is the best strip club in town. And I'm not just saying that because I have friends who dance there, but no, it's a very fun strip club. It was my first visit to a strip club, in fact, my first lap dance. And so I would say it's great for beginners. >> There was talk about going there, but I ended up just staying at Edger Dells. The people here were all lovely, and they brought me drinks, and someone even gave me some bare meat. And as I got to the end of the night, people that had lived here that whole life started to affect on what this place means for them. >> I was thinking about what the Dells meant to me and means to the locals. I don't know if you'll use any of this, but I'm just going to talk here. I started thinking about how the meaning of the Dells changes for people throughout their life. So when we are kids, the Dells is like a reward, it's magical, they have these things called A days where kids, local kids can bring in their report cards, and if they have A's, then they get in for free. And so it literally is this magical, positive place as a child. And then you get to your teen years, and those 12,000 jobs that I talked about, Wisconsin Dells absorbs all of the teenagers from all of the surrounding towns. And this is their first job, they are lifeguards, they are scooping ice cream and running rides. And so it morphs from this magical place to this place that's teaching you responsibility. This place that's giving you independence for the first time. Once you leave your teen years, then it's your 21, your partying, it's all about the nightlife. And so like each stage of your life, it turns into something else, it's cool. I ask what stage she's in now, she claims she's in the after the nightlife stage. And she says that while she loves to travel, she'll always come back here to Wisconsin, because she loves the driftless region so much. In fact, most of the locals I talked to, walked at the idea of going to the actual water parks. They're here for the natural beauty that surrounds this very weird, very nutty part of America. This place we're out of the water parks and natural rivers that side by side, a weird clash that somehow works. What stage are you in right now? So I'm after the nightlife stage, what do you do, what happens in that stage? That is the stage of, oh, there's a lot of money to be made in the delts. And so I have a furniture restoration firm and we actually were new, but we were able to restore some furniture for a big local resort. Stay tuned for more Flightless Bird. The fourth Flightless Bird comes from Shopify. Now, if you're anything like me, you're very good at putting things off and putting things off and putting things off, but if it comes to starting your own business with Shopify, you should not put it off, you should start it immediately. Yeah, or if you've been sitting on a business idea, Shopify makes it easy to make it happen. Everything you need to start selling is included and ready to use from day one. And because Shopify handles the setup and the checkout, you have more time to focus on growing your business and the tools to do it. This is a time when having the right platform is critical. You don't want to be spending time fixing mistakes. You want to be spending your time doing what you want to be doing. And I'm sure you've seen that purple shop pay button. Oh, yeah. That's my favorite thing when I'm checking out somewhere is they have that because I know it has all my information and it connects. You click that button and it's a very easy checkout. So from the business side, having that for customers on your site, a plus. So good. And it's why Shopify powers millions of businesses worldwide from household names to small businesses that are just getting started with Shopify. Nothing stands between your idea and a real business. So go make it one. If you're ready to start putting off your business and start hearing, then you're ready for Shopify. Start your free trial at Shopify.com/bird today. You heard that right? Start your free trial today at Shopify.com/bird. That's Shopify.com/bird. Wisconsin Dells. That did bring me back to spending time in the Dells. It's a very, very specific place. Yeah, that strip we talked about that was, "Rupply's believe it or not." Just all the fudge doors and like the candy and it's like, "Kid's a trick." Yeah, the fudge doors I forgot about. Yeah. I feel like the Dells for the Midwest, particularly the Chicago, Wisconsin area was adjacent to Disney. We weren't going to make that trip to Disney every year. Too bad. It was too expensive. It gave you everything, though, that kid could want from that kind of space. Yes. It was a little more middle-class version. Completely. Of Disney. An affordable Disney. Yes. Basically. No, I think that hits a nail on the head. The other sort of weird thing I noticed in that little strip was there were so many theme stores where you'd go and take old, tiny photos. I was just writing, I was just writing down thing. What the fuck is up with that? I always wanted to do that as a kid. Yeah, they have costumes there and you pretend to be in jail and you get in different outfits and they take old, tiny photos of you. Every second store is a fudge store or an old, tiny photos. That is still exactly like that. I do. I did go with a high school girlfriend. Oh, here we go. Two, two one of those old tiny photos, finally. You finally got your photo? Yes. I had a job. I could pay for it myself. Perfect, perfect day material. I don't think it lived up to what the hype that I, but you built it up as a child wanting to go to this. Yep. I did it and I've now gone back soon. The other thing that I, that became very apparent visiting the delts on my own was the waterslides are kind of hard to take because I'm on my own, realized I didn't have contact lenses. So the second I took my glasses off, I couldn't see anything. I had my sound gear. It was just me. I had my phone. It just makes it really impractical to write on Slack. - Did you not go down any water slides? - I went down a couple. - A lot of natural. - Yeah. - I froliced and I swam. - Yeah. - And the Kalahari, I didn't endorse slide. But I didn't do that many slides, which sounds kind of crazy. - I don't think you were meant to bring your audio gear on the slide with you. - No, but like, what do you do with it? Like I'm just saying, you're on your own at a water point. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Like, I can't see. I've got no friends. Like, I've got no like, really like, staff me up. - So what I did with this podcast, I met the owners. I got them to the water. - Yeah, that was all great. - David, you went down your first water slide on this trip, right? - I've been on a water slide for New Zealand. I've been on a water slide before. - You said they don't have them. - We had like two tiny packs when I grew up. - How did the water slides here compare to the two tiny parks there? Grander? - Yeah, bigger. - Yeah, like, it's a slide. It was like, you went up some stairs, and you slide down, and you, it was fun, it was exciting. I don't really know what else to say. But I took a couple, but, I mean, is it a crime? Maybe they didn't take, I'm sort of thinking about this now refitting back. Like, was it crazy? I didn't go on every slide there. - No, I think it could have been beneficial for you to do the more extreme ones. - Never in a million years do that. Rotating around me, that some child dreamt up. - Yes, and then they just made. - But then there would be more to talk about. - But what would I say, you know what I'd say? I'd say, oh my god, Rob, it was crazy in there. - Well, we didn't, it was so scary. I thought was going one direction, and then I went in the other direction, and then at the end, I came out, the end of the water slide into a big bull, and I got out, and I went again. - All right. - Like, what is it to do? - You're right. Terrible thought. - I mean, it's like a tricky thing. But maybe if I was, if we were a YouTube channel, I could take a selfie stick, that would be fun. Anyway, I'm just having an internet debate about what a podcast, about what a slide should really be about. - Have you been in a wave pool before? - Never. - Those are intense. - Yeah. - They had one of those at the Calahari. They probably had them all over the place. But your kids were just getting like spat out, they'd be on a board, and then shh. Out the other side. But what I did bring back for you, is I've been sitting in this bag this whole time. It's some bear meat. - Oh, I don't want that. (laughs) - Don't want that. This is some bear meat there, and this is specifically bear bacon. So, we talked about this a little bit in another episode, but I'm concerned, I'm really glad that the flight of the spread listener gave that to us, but I'm concerned just about the whole concept. I don't know if I can get by out. - So this is all of the bear meat that you were-- - This is the bear meat. - This is too big bits of bear meat. - In a previous episode, I talked about how you were concerned that you probably couldn't eat it because of-- - Comes with certain parasites. If it's not cooked correctly. - So, you are now gifting-- - Yes. - This meat that you thought you maybe didn't handle properly. - Yeah, I mean, I have a weak kiwi disposition. Like, my stomach isn't used to this. You have strong American guts that might be able to handle this a bit better. So, yeah, it's my gift to you. It's a unique gift. - Some bear meat. In fact, I have a gift. - You're a re-gift to me from-- - I'm re-gifting the bear meat. - A flight of the spread listener. - I might've also defrosted on the plane back. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And now I remember-- - Yeah, re-froze it again. - Yeah, that you're giving me meat that you think has gone bad, that you have re-frozen. - Yeah, I mean-- - It's probably okay. - Unwilling to eat yourself. - It's probably okay. - You try it, and then I'll try some. - Well, so I have something for you too. - Okay, oh, what kind of meat did you bring me? I'm excited about this. - Wow, what is all this? - This was from my road trip. You've been gone for a while. - Oh, go wild. - Yeah, no, this is my-- - And I was gone. - Oh, rub. - So you're a sweet sky, and that's something-- - I am, this is some cookies from New York. - These are some cookies from New York. These are very fancy cookies. - Yeah. - Shape like a love hat. - That's nice. - It's made out of-- - It's one of the lessons I've done. - It's gelato bakery. - Rob. - Also from New York. - These are some pins. If you're not watching this on video, some pins are some beautiful creatures in New York eating delicious snacks. We've got a pigeon eating a pretzel, we're gonna screw a little bit of pizza. Oh my God. - It's a New York artist. - Diana Tita. - Making-- - Diana Tita, thank you. - Pins of vermin. - Oh, this is from Iowa 80. - Tvids. - Righty. Look at the back of that. The world's largest truck stop. - Iowa. - Iowa 80. - And this one. - God. - I, this is truly evil. I went to Taylor Swift's wedding and was hunted for sport. This is really good. And it's an image of Taylor Swift, the shotgun, yelling run peasant for being too poor. - That's really good. - That felt like a very-- - This is a pretty good dude. - Where did you get this from? This is amazing. - That one's from the internet. It's, you're about done. I mean, Bami can almost compete with this, but absolutely also cannot. Thank you, Robert. - Yeah, you got it. - These are fucking amazing. - Yeah, I mean, you always bring back chocolate and things from New Zealand. So it was only fit into these pins. - You bring your sweets. - The rule, thank you. We're back. - We're back. - We're back, baby. I highly recommend the Del's. It's Vegas, but with waterpucks. It's fucking crazy. - Yeah. - And you can get old-timey photos. - Yeah, and the people in Wisconsin like to drink. - Oh, they do. So much drinking everywhere. And also this hat I'm wearing, I forgot. They have a Bob's Big Boy, which has so many big boys in there. You know the Big Boy icon, iconic things. They've got versions of Big Boy that are amazing. Should we do a little bit of feedback? - Sure. - M-sets. In celebration of Dashan from Boythrob's Visa, I wanted to share that I went to a sold-out Boythrob rehearsal to a date at Irving Plaza in New York. I went alone as an almost 40-year-old woman, and it was the most enthusiastic concert I've ever been to. I started out admiring when I thought it was an incredible immigration performance art, and now I'm just an earnest fan, and I hope the Throb never stops. - So is Dashan in states now? - He is on route. He has his O-1. Don't know if he's arrived yet. - Is that what he's thinking about? - I guess he's like, get it and he's got to pack his bags and stuff and probably get a few affairs sorted out in India before he moves over. - Okay. - But he, I mean, hopefully when you see it, we can get him in the studio. Meet Dashan. - Scott Sears in regards to Hayden's story about a cricketer, sinking a lot of beers on a plane. Scott said there's also a myth that Wade Boggs, an American-based bullet drink over 100 beers on a cross-country flight, was also in the late '80s. - In Boggs. - He's pretty sure that both claims a bank. - I don't investigate it. How would you find out? - There's an Andre the Giant claim to, similar to that. - Really? - Oh, those are, you know, I mean, we've talked about urban legends in this episode, I think. - A few of these creeping. - A few of those. - And there's stories that are so easy to spread, like you drank 100 beers. - I feel like the Andre the Giant one is probably true though. - What was that one? - It was a similar-- - Drank a lot. - A thing of a flight where he'd put down 80 beers or just a night out. I don't recall the number. - Right. - Tonya wrote in about our Chili's episode. My theory on why you are overly enthusiastic about the food at Chili's is because you went in with low expectations. There's nobody to go but up. - There. - Could be an incredibly fair point. - Yeah, I think air conditioning helped. - So hot. - An anonymous person wrote in, Chili's is a staple on many military installations around the world. It was very popular on the Ramstein Air Base in Germany but was recently shut down due to horrendous health conditions. Screen shots of the leaked reporter attached. And look at the attachment. It looks pretty rough. Don't go to Chili's at the Ramstein Air Base. Jenny also wrote about Chili's. I wanna validate David on his recognition of the Chili's song I grew up in South Africa and have never been to a Chili's before. However, my family was a big fan of Austin Powers and we watched it regularly. When I heard you mention that Chili's had a theme song about baby-back ribs, I thought, "Well, that's so cool, just like Austin Powers." And while I listen to the Chili's episode, I was yelling at my phone. As David is trying to figure out, we heard her that song before screaming. It's from Austin Powers. All to say, I was today as old when I realized that fat bastards stole the lines from Chili's and not the other way around. - Yeah, it was from Chili's, not Austin Powers. - Great, I mean, that was a revelation to me here as well. - And Kristen wrote in. I can't tell you how much you're reporting on "Everly Stories" meant to me. I now live in Minneapolis. It's beautiful here, both reminders everywhere that this community was under literal occupation. It's not gone just quite, but I find hope in that fight and in "Everly's." I wanted to tell you a story of Vice's terror and another part of the country. It's hard not to think about it when I hear "Everly" talk about the people still locked up in their resource. I live in worked in Southwest Detroit for the last two years. 12 students from one high school I worked out have been kidnapped by ICE since 2025. May. They teach us fort successfully to get a lot of them out. Now they're getting ready to return this fall semester. Carrying within the trauma of being wrongfully detained and I just thought that was worsturing because there's so many people like Evily they need up in that situation, which is I mean fucking crazy high school students is another level of Another level of evil. Yeah, it's Beyond it's beyond beyond if you have any feedback to this episode about the delts about bear meat About Taylor so sweating about water slides Flight spread chat at gmail.com as we can find us you can watch on Spotify fewer ads Mm-hmm. You're at a great and video video on Spotify and we're also on patreon you can sign up for patreon for ad free versions Mm-hmm, and we do an extra bonus episode every week. Don't forget the foot picks my feet sometimes posts Feet picks. We keep feet.com 4.92. Don't let that discourage you from signing up You can easily not look at feet picks. This is accurate. You can avoid them very easily watch bonus episodes bonus content That is patreon.com/flatless bird. We'll see you over there. We'll see you next week. See you next week. Bye Oh no throwing no throwing tonight You