Wired & Tired | Son of a Boy Dad #398

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Start there. And no, and no bull. It's the only shoes that I wear outside of today. I wear no bulls every single day. Is that it? That's an old one, isn't it? It's brand new. Oh, they were at, no, they were doing, they did the Ryder Cup with us. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I was thinking of. Tripoli. Probably new for you. Yeah, yeah, I just got it onboarded, and I'm pretty psyched about it. Thank you guys for having me. Super fired up about it. Ooh, wow. I wear my nobles. I wore some nobles with a suit this past weekend. Really? Yeah. That's class. Just around the house for the derby. Damn. How was the flight? You were with Bert? Yeah, I, uh. Chrysler. Yeah, of course, of course. Yeah, uh, I was in San Francisco all weekend, and, um. With Crash? Well, no, I was doing my own shows. And then I got to the airport to drop off my rental car, and, um, I pulled all the way up to the stop sign and got out of my car. In fact, they scanned the barcode to be like, you're done. And then Brandon called me, because he runs my Instagram. He was like, you just got a message from Bert Chrysler asking if you were in San Francisco. Damn. And so then I got his, Bert's number, and I was like, what's up? I'm heading out, and he's like, let me know if you want to hop on the show tonight. So I got back in the car. They let you take the car? They didn't know. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. And I got to the, uh, the place where you, like, hand your agreement to them. And you're like. And the guy was like, wait a minute. It says that you return this. And I was like, that seems to be a glitch. What do you mean? How would I have returned it if I'm in it? I was told. Yeah, I was like, I was told I had until the end of the night. And they were like, well, technically you do, but okay. Yeah, and they figured it out. But get this. I. I. I. I. I. Somehow, because of that, I was now on the rental. The return area is not on the same floor of the parking garage at SFO as. The exit. The Alamo. I was on Alamo. So you had to jump it. I had to go to. They were like, you need to go exit on a different floor where the Alamo office is. And I was like, okay. And he goes, go out here, go right, and then go right. And I did. And I got a little confused. No, keep paying attention. Well, I don't know what that was. It was just a wiffle ball. I was sitting up in attention. I'm getting engaged. I'm leaning forward in my gamer chair. A bunch of toys just fell out of Roan's pockets. I'm having a good time. Bro. This is the closest I've ever come in my entire life to driving the wrong way across the metal spikes. Oh, that would have been bad. I was just mareshed out. Yeah. And the guy got out of his little booth and he goes, no, no. So I was like. 150 yards away. He's like, no, no, no, no. Next right. Next right. And I got to tell you, I really wanted to do this. Oh, yeah. It would have been awesome. I wanted to just. I wondered if my tires would like hiss quietly or explode. No, I think it's a dramatic. I think it'd be like. Yeah, it's such a menacing threat. I mean, you're driving right into the spikes. They're like. Oh, it hooks. Yeah. And the sign says, do not go forward. Extreme vehicle damage will occur. Damn. Extreme. That's so nuts. I guess that's what they got to do because the keys are in the car. But if you had just drove out and they came up to you and they're like, sir, you just ruined this car. And you could have just been like, I returned this car. I returned this car three hours ago. Check the system. How am I even in it? I'm not even. No one saw me. I was never here. I was never here. I'm not supposed to be in this car. I was supposed to be in this car in the first place. Yeah, that's on you. How could I have destroyed it? That is a. You found the perfect loophole to destroy a car at the airport. Yeah. So I drove back into the city and then I still had an hour until my hotel room expired. Yeah. Just went back to my hotel. Got back in bed? Well, I hadn't checked out. And admittedly, I should have. No one checks out. But this was lucky that I hadn't. And I took a bag straight. I took it to the gym, like literally with my gym outfit. And I walked into the tiny hotel gym with my roller bag. And I walked straight into Bert Kreischer. Oh, damn. Who was working out in the gym with his team. Wow. Did they have it closed off? Did they have a roped off area? No, but they were doing a circuit workout. Oh, my God. Imagine seeing the machine in the body shop. This is like your dream scenario. Is it? Hopping in on a circuit. Oh, yes. Yeah. Just tore the bottom off your pants. You guys cool if I work in? Yeah. Well, the guy was like, you missed being part of this by seven minutes. I'll catch up. I said that. I literally said that. I was like, backfill me. Fill me from the back. Fill me from the back, boys. And then I just started working out next to them. But Bert's in the best shape I've ever seen him in his life. He said he's like in the best shape that he's been in many, many years. Is he on roids? His peptide stack has to be insane. Because he was hitting the roids pretty hard last time I spoke to him. Was he? He was on the yak. Yeah. He came on the yak and he was like, remember he said he was taking them? Yeah. Or testosterone, maybe? Maybe testosterone. Yeah. He looks like lean and muscular would be the way I would put it. Natty. He's probably a natty guy. Could be natty. That sounds natty. Yeah. How do his nipples look? Like he's been using testosterone? They look puffy. Like he's been milked. That's, if they're looking puffy. Look, far be it for you to give. Anyone nipple shame. I've seen those fucking saucers you got. You've never seen my nipples. I've seen them. And the ones that are online are not real. They're fake nipples. Well, that's what anyone would say who's had nipple leaks. Those are stickers. You've been leaked. You had a vengeful ex leak your nipple pics. And then you had to, you tried to flood the market with different size nipple pics. Wait, who's bro next to you? What the hell? Is that Nas X? That's Nas, yeah. Why does little Nas X come up? He's shredded. Little Nas X shirtless. Shirtless? Little sass X. More like little gas X. You know what I mean? Look at those pepperonis. I'm fixated on Nas X. Why don't you do your bulge like Nas X? I know, I should have. You should have sculpted the bulge. Get the tighty whities on. It's crazy how many shirtless photos of little Nas X come up when you look up me. Yeah, what the fuck? It's nuts. Are you named after him? Yes. Damn, yeah. Oh, that big little Nas X. Yeah, I was a fan from the jump back when he was doing Nicki Minaj, back when he was a Nicki Minaj fan page. Yeah, that's when he started off as. That's when I became a Lil Nas X fan. I forgot that. What the fuck is my Nicki Minaj fan page rapping for? Give me Minaj. Oh, man. How was the set? Was it sick? What was it? Yeah, how was it? What was the cap? 2,500 was the theater. Were you nervous? Yeah. Yeah, I would have been. Yeah. I was. I haven't done a room that big in a long time. Honestly, though, that's just the community looking out for itself because you getting in front of 2,500 before you go and do the garden, you want to be building and building your rooms. That's exactly what I said to him. Yeah. That's what Rogan and him said. I said, this is going to be a hell of a rep. That's their playbook down in Dallas. Yeah. Perfect rep. How did it go? It went well. Chappelle Lacey went before me and he fucking murdered. I thought that was going in a different direction. Dave? Yeah. No. They wouldn't. It's about to be like, well, you forgot to mention that. All right. We're going to go David and then Francis. We're going to make this as hard for Francis as we possibly can. David has to catch a flight. No, he doesn't. That flight leaves when he wants it to. No, we're going to have David and then Francis and then Jerry. I saw something for like the, did you see this? Like the comedy store lineup last night? I don't know if it was last night. It was like, it was like, it was like Shane, Louie, Chappelle, Kanye. All written in at the end. Yeah. After Jeff died. Like they were like the drop-ins. What? Yeah. It was like a full, you know, they do the full lineup and then yeah, like what Ron said, it was written in at the bottom. It was, is that a heavy hitter lineup or a heavy Hitler lineup? I couldn't tell. Yeah. Yeah. Right. - Right here. - Wow. insane i think it's so much smaller i didn't get a potion stamp size that's great i wonder what kind it was on what that brother was hopefully yeah honestly what's his name did stand up that uh great rapper that everyone loves uh yes yes little nas x toy story or something was his album uh ty dolla sign no not ty dolla sign you know that like jazzy guy who's really really good key lock could have been his black music soul child token no it's not token i'm sorry it's like um honestly i'm token might be the funniest thing that could have come up there i'm too delirious to figure out the name but you guys would know i know who you're talking about i just don't remember the name right now blue and exile you said no it's like a very famous rapper yeah super super famous yeah he's jazzy jazzy he's not jazzy i don't know why you keep on saying that but the jazz is definitely mixing people up you got a friend of me toy story album jazz randy newman came up maybe it's like children's story is the name of the album no closer it's close to that i think we would have a better chance the rapper oh okay there we go is that who you thought no not who i was thinking of at all coloring book golly don't expect much out of me dude i so i did my set and then i immediately had to get in the car and i had to rush to the airport again yeah yeah well i have a question though and i don't want to i'm sorry i've cut you off nine times finishing i've cut you off nine times but let's hear this question my question is why didn't you just uber back to the hotel wouldn't you i feel like getting the car returned is like a good weight off the shoulders i had a lot of bags i had my golf clubs oh okay because i had been in oklahoma with foreplay oh yeah i went oklahoma san francisco i mean i've been i forgot about that yeah it's been a mess that's where the red eye really fucks you too because then it's just a tease getting home yeah you're like i got to go right back out dude i went to so i went to the airport and then uh got on the plane and i was the number i'd used a regional upgrade certificate so i was the number i was in premium comfort or whatever which i hadn't ever flown on that i don't think i have either and it was it's nice spectacular what is it it's like a lay down seat where you can't lay down so it has all the amenities of a lay down seat and it's a little bit wider but it's uh 75 percent more reclined than in coach oh there's a foot rest that pops out very comfortable that sounds better than the bed not gonna go that far they said on the phone when i spoke to the lovely lovely uh customer service reps to whom i give a five every single time they're so good that i always stay on oh i thought you meant you i thought you meant you tipped them i give them a five yeah send me your venmo i send them five i'd like to give you a five um no i i she had said it is akin to uh first class on like a regular flight on on a non-delta one flight but it was way better was this a new plane presumably yeah must have been but it's the type of plane that goes to europe yeah yeah and anyway i was number one on i was in that seat and then i was number one to be upgraded to delta one and i got to the gate agents and i said hi i'm just wondering if i'm number one on the upgrade list and i'm wondering if there's anyone who is not going to be in delta one or not coming and the guy was like well i don't want to speak too soon but uh there is somebody who hasn't checked in yet so this might just be your lucky day and as he was finishing that sentence that person checked in damn that's brutal but you you you had to know who's just casually just skipping the delta one it's i don't know i mean it's like a red eye i guess i would wonder if uh the attrition rate on a red eye is lower or higher than a day flight probably lower would be my guess nobody's probably yeah probably you have to get home that's the reason you're taking the only reason would be if someone decides to fly in the morning instead and that doesn't really have a bed you're like well i don't need to yeah true true so then i took uh let me sleep gummy in right when we took off okay that explains it wait what the fuck i knew that there was something yeah i had two of them you had two let me sleep well that's the dosage that is the recommended dosage that's the half you're still in the half-life of a let me sleep gummy oh you let me sleep let me sleep let me sleep gummy you'd probably know it as a edible or something is it an edible no let me sleep gummy they probably sell them at the airport you were really hitting the t and i'm noticing there's no t at all in the spelling to be honest with you i've never read the label let me sleep yeah it's an urban company i carry these loose in like a little package because my god damn fucking shampoo bottle blows up every single time i fly is that the pressure in a bag is that the pressure of the airport air whoa whoa the let me sleep gummies yeah it's a wolfing right now is that the pressure of the airplane car like the i'll be honest i fly with shampoo i've never flown with shampoo either i trust that it'll be where i'm going yeah shampoo is one of those ones i don't really care what like i'd use dawn do you care more about your conditioner or your yeah that's yeah the conditioner i travel with everywhere i don't use conditioner but at all now never what yeah it makes my hair too soft and flat no wonder you got that perfect that perfect coif you know you're acting like you're all fucking simple on your hair routine but i know there's a lot never once acted like there's a lot going on there's a ton there's a lot hours yes yes and then people are like why don't you just run a brush through your hair and it's like that it'll look worse by a lot yeah you want me to undo what took me hours to this this is natural chaos this controlled chaos i mean again your hair looks amazing it really does i don't know about that you got all these like disparate little threads at the top that you know it's like someone ran a balloon actually very joe burrow-esque but if you start acknowledging too much how much time you put into it it will lose its charm exactly we'll have to wipe all that yeah we have to nip this in the bud now i think that you probably dress the way that you do to even out how lovely your hair that's what it is you're like i don't want people thinking i'm you know a billionaire i can't if i show up with hair like this in a in a you know at risk neighborhoods like i'm gonna get robbed immediately yeah it'll be like those videos when people first get to like mumbai people are just pressed up against the glass those videos are insane we gotta get to mumbai smacking on the window clawing at it that sounds so nice and like the drivers turned off the car oh yeah just sitting there as people are just rocking the boat because the traffic's bad we gotta get out to mumbai do you guys uh crave going to india in your lifetime uh no no not really the only thing i'm interested in is that people talk about the service there as if it's the best in the world really yeah it's probably because there's like slavery yeah probably yeah like like middle class people have a chef a driver and two mates every day yeah like every they just are there um yeah i don't have a huge interest in india but i would go if the offer was well guess what brother i'm offering you right now two round trip tickets to to india yeah i mean sure curry week curry week curry i would definitely be down bringing steph curry and steph and seth um yeah we're going with the curry brothers curry week would be so nice or at least interesting yeah it would i bet tass would get sick so fast you wouldn't even eat anything i think we all would get terry would eat the food on the plane over and be like oh my god i have diarrhea that was the delta that was the buddha that food in india really got to me it's like dude we flew an american airlines um i took these let me sleeps i sat down in my chair and i started to like nod off and i'm not kidding you dude i slept in stages of five minutes for five hours yeah i've been there i mean it was like sleep for five minutes wake up be like wow i wonder how long i was out for oh a minute pull up the flight map five minutes has elapsed you still see the same town that you were passing over it's the worst yeah i couldn't believe it and i don't know if it was because the plane was jostling a little or because i didn't eat enough lemmys but for whatever reason i it was the worst yeah fucking i would rather have gotten bageled yeah i would rather have not slept a single minute i think honestly the move might be nothing i wonder because when we flew to birmingham i mean i took everything i could get my hands on and i didn't sleep for a second like i took a concoction that's like you like if you woke if you took that at noon you would fall asleep and it was like it was like midnight and i was just eyes wide open well give us what you took he can't say probably i mean we know he's prescribed ativan or whatever it is yeah yeah i took klonopin i took one klonopin and i felt it like as i was going on the plane and then i sat down and it was like it i shit it out or something like it was you beat it it was god beat it it didn't take yeah you needed to chew it klonopin also isn't like it's never gonna have that same effect like that like a xanax or like a ativan would because it's extended release it lasts for like 12 hours you got a drink on it if you if you really want to you you really want to have some fun and you didn't activate it you had the noz button in the car but you just didn't press it yeah that's right that's right i definitely thought about it you know up in the bed maybe i'll just get a drink and it would have been like the wolf of wall street like yeah crawling into birmingham well i thought it was fine just wrapped up in seat belts yeah yeah no i couldn't sleep though i can't sleep on those flights the way home though i raw dogged it slept literally for eight hours straight did not wake up i woke up we were landing in new york that must be nice hey son of a boy dad listeners we'll be right back but first a quick message from one of our partners cozy season is upon us bombas makes your comfiest fall staples so you can make the most out of one of the best seasons of the year bombas's new suede moccasins are perfect for fall with cushy soles a shirling lining and water resistant suede plus for every item you purchase bombas donates an essential clothing item to someone facing housing insecurity head over to bombas.com slash audio and use code audio for 20 off your first purchase that's b-o-m-b-a-s.com slash audio code audio at checkout all right now back to the episode oh man then i got in an uber from jfk and it was one hour and 32 minutes what time 8 a.m yeah that's how far philadelphia is yeah bro imagine being a tourist who has flown from like singapore or fucking wherever to new york and you don't know yeah it'd be reasonable not to know how far jfk is from the city and you you've been flying for 14 hours yeah and you get in your uber and you're like all right 20 minutes yeah we'll be at our hotel no hour and a half longer if they're going into like manhattan i went into manhattan okay okay um i just came yeah so that's probably the average ride for somebody is going to around where you came today and it's 90 minutes and you're just looking at like three graveyards are the best thing you'll see like the city's so far away for so long dude my driver was furious the whole 90 minutes yeah he was just this like latin guy who was like you know yeah just freaking out like at drivers bicyclists once we got into the city we were like oh my god freaking out like at drivers bicyclists once we got into the city uh there was a there was a guy biking the wrong way into traffic and looking at his phone yeah and he like he rolled his window down and he was like oh yeah yeah i don't really do spanish so i thought i understood that yeah it sounded legit uh i've been getting that a lot recently the uber drivers that are like piss they're furious yeah they're getting angry i was like wow man i finally i said to him i was like man i don't know how you do this job like yeah this really seems to bother you and he goes every day every day i get in fight every single day he goes when when no passenger is much worse oh yeah it's much worse he's probably pulling over he's like if you're not here is is so bad he goes the food delivery drivers oh they don't care at all he's right and i was like well we need our lo mein but that is two different classes of immigrants you know what i mean yeah yeah delivery sounds like the food delivery is kind of frowned upon by the drivers yes exactly those are the documented immigrants yeah yeah exactly yeah that's so i mean it's got to be frustrating but you it's your duty as the passenger in that position to be on his side you have to go to war with him and if someone cuts you off you're like fuck that fucking god dude you know my policy about i'm not not cutting traffic and stuff like that when i'm a passenger in an uber oh yeah if there's a long line heading into a uh an exit i'm like hey but see how uh 400 cars up there are people crossing that double white line why don't we go ahead really no i don't actually say it but they do it and you're fine with it i don't say anything what am i gonna do i don't tell a chef how to cook no i i like it i just i'm surprised that that's your outlook on it as the warrior when i'm a passenger i think it would be incredibly petulant to be a passenger in an uber i think it would be and condescending to tell my uber driver excuse me sir you understand that uh what you're doing is actually causing longer build-up for the people that are playing by the rules yeah understand that you just got a passive aggressively sigh at him then that's the only way to communicate with an uber driver i hold on to the the handle that folds out of the roof for dear fucking life is what i do start to finish i love it i love when they cross over like i'm you're on like international waters in an uber break all the rules just getting all the fights yeah i get jacked up when they start breaking the rules and try just tailing an ambulance with the sirens on yeah i love that yeah you're like we're flying yeah pull a fucking siren from underneath yeah yeah oh you're okay i didn't know you were a part-time emt um you should have explained to him about cortisol spiking though i know what that is for his long-term health the fact that his cortisol is getting up into that range it sounds like it's just out of control can you tell me a little bit about cortisol spike oh with weight gain irritation i mean that's the stress hormone every every type of build-up that uh that you could possibly want to avoid plaque yes actually not lasting long enough in bed your cortisol spikes your plaque builds up you start swallowing your plaque the plaque gets into your heart you start getting dementia you stress yourself and you're like oh my god i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna die yep that's literally what happens with cortisol you could wired but tired changes headaches you feeling wired but tired wired and tired what do you feel wired but tired uh i don't know how i feel right now cortisol spike what i think what you are the definition of wired but tired right now you're like dialed in for the show but you have all those let me sleep gummies in you you have skin changes has your skin changed at all i itch all the time i'm not disaster i am the itchiest guy alive you might be living at a full spike he's up at a butte he's plateaued at cortisol and he's staying there wired and tired is funny that'll be the name of the episode wired and tired all of these go ahead and write that down except for the stretch stretch marks on my belly w and god you don't have stretch marks no not yet it's from it's because you're keeping your cortisol low exactly maybe i'm low wait a minute wait a minute unintentional weight loss go down that's on there low cortisol oh i could have this to be honest well then i don't want that because i want my weight loss to be intentional right well that's because you have high cortisol so you do i think you that's you're you're showing all signs of high cortisol i think i might just be fat no no it's your cortisol you have a blockage i'm noticing the weight gain in the i have i've come i have some signs of high and low cortisol the worst of both yeah i'm like extrovert extrovert i don't know what i am because i'm fatigued and i have stomach fat it's like oh it sounds like you're just fat you might be a fat guy that has nothing to do with your cortisol bro we went to we went to so brandon had never been to the golden gate bridge before and i had a rental car so i was like all right well why don't we drive across it and we went across the golden gate were you doing that because you secretly hoped you were going to save someone's life that would have been uh a question i would have answered with the joke i was getting to that sucks that's all right at least we're on the same page i just had a feeling that's i i could see you doing that with only the intention of hoping to stop someone from jumping well the whole jumping thing was an amazing i learned a lot about it first of all uh the the nets that they talk about having put up for the first time i don't know if they're going to put up for the first time i don't know if they're going to put up for the first time or if they're going to put up for the first time i don't know if they're going to put up for the first time i don't know if they're going to put up for the first time people jumping from the golden gate bridge you can clear them yeah if you don't clear them you should kill yourself hell you're gonna die you have no like a standing broad jump ability whatsoever like how long how far out are they but you're jumping from pretty high above them so you can you can you know maybe you're the physics guy like could you just do a quick equation and figure out how when the when the force of gravity counteracts the force of like 10 meters per second per second a mile long and that's our mile long You'd have to be shot out of a cannon to get to clear the net. So anyway, the other part of it is you probably think like, oh. Shit, 90% decline in suicides. 73, 2. Yeah, because I would think that most of the people killing themselves off the Golden Gate Bridge probably can't. Like, they're not like. So they're not coming right from the NFL combine. Yeah, it's not the combine. Like, you know, you got to stick the landing. Getting caught up in that net must just be humiliating. Yeah, right? That's got to be. So get this. So get this. The net, you think it's like, you know, the type of net you see at a baseball field. Yeah, yeah. Wrong. It is steel chicken wire. If you get caught in that thing, like, you're coming home looking. Yeah. You got a thatched pattern across your whole body. Ripped up. Like, when they pull you out of there with, like, a fireman. Crane or some shit. Like, it's all sticking to your clothes and your skin. I mean, it must cost a lot of money just to get someone out of the net. I think so, probably. Millions. Yeah. Yeah. Is it? I don't know about that. Is it just a flat mat? Is it just a flat? Why would it be millions? I mean, they got to get, like, a crane down there. I don't know if it's a crane. They send a fire truck, you know? Yeah, yes. Some kind of, like, harness. There's probably some sort of system to speed it up. Maybe the nets come up. Everybody in San Francisco rock climbs. They definitely have gear. People who are just dying to get up there. The net is $400 million? It's a wasteful $400 million anti-suicide net. But hold on a minute. That doesn't account for the cost of all the body bags that were fishing people out of the water. True. And I know for a fact that the Coast Guard spent a huge portion of its budget every year on new body bags. Really? Yeah, they were always pulling people out of the water. Well, because, you know, the San Francisco game. And they're designer body bags. Yeah, exactly. That's not pleather. They had the best, the top of the line. No, right. But then I was thinking about this, because my hotel looked out over the Bay Bridge. Do you know the Bay Bridge? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So that's heads over to, like, you know, Oakland and whatnot. And I couldn't help but wonder, like, are there people who just have such a low opinion of themselves that they don't think they deserve to kill themselves off the Golden Gate Bridge? Definitely. So they jump off of the Bay Bridge? Or they're like, ah, the Golden Gate. I mean, I haven't heard that. Like, imagine how humbly suicidal you'd have to be. It's respectful. To be like, ah, you know, that's for the big leagues. I mean, is it lower? Like, I would definitely rather not jump off of the Golden Gate Bridge. Well, the issue with the Bay Bridge is that there's no walking path. So if you're going to jump off of that one, you have to walk with traffic for a long way. You kind of got to jog. Yeah, yeah. Or get a ride and just be like, let me off here. Yeah. Well, actually, I'm good from here. The fact that they didn't spend $400 million on the net on the bridge to Oakland, it makes it way funnier. I know, right? Just like if you're going from, what's north of there? Sausalito? No, Sausalito is just on the other side. Oh, on the other side of the Golden Gate Bridge. Yeah, like Sausalito to San Francisco. Those lives are worth $400 million. Those are. Those are dentists who have been found out. They don't even have guardrails on the Oakland Bridge. Yeah, certainly. It's just a swinging drawbridge. People just have to walk from Oakland across a waterfall every day. We got across the Golden Gate and Brandon was like, well, that was cool. Want to go to wine country? And I was like, fuck it. So then we drove to Sonoma. Oh, wow. How far is that? For the day. Another hour and 20 minutes. Damn. We went to like northern Sonoma. And I have a friend who his family owns a winery there. And I just called him up and I was like, hey, dude, we're on the way. We're on the way to your winery. Is that OK? He's like, oh, my God. And he set us up and we got a tour and like went through the caves and all this awesome stuff. That's sick. Yeah, it was cool. And then we drove back. What kind of wine are they peddling over there? Well, they got it's called Knight's Bridge. It's spectacular. Truly really good. They've got, I think, Cab is there like. Is there what kind of nets does that one have? That's a good question. The drawbridge. Grape nets. Yeah, the Knights Bridge. It was really good. It was cool. So, yeah, we had a we had a really cool time. I mean, honestly, San Francisco. I feel like somehow the conservative right has just like attached such a skid mark to that entire city. Yeah, it does have a pretty bad reputation as being like they've just somehow made it into being like a such a cesspool. But. Hey, son of a boy. Dad listeners will be right back. But first, a quick message from one of our partners. Football season's here. 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And second of all, it's like, yeah, if you go to any city like there. Yeah, they're very compact. I will say. Like Denver. Yeah, Denver, L.A., L.A.'s, L.A.'s the worst that I've probably San Diego's really bad. But I will say Burt's Theater last night was called the Warfield. And it was in the Tenderloin. And I parked on the street nearby and just walking a block and a half from my car to the entrance to the theater. I passed a homeless guy who was smoking crack. He had. I think that's it's out of the tinfoil. With a glass pipe. That's that's fentanyl. Is that fentanyl? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Well, that's I mean, that's good to hear. Yeah, that's nice. It doesn't really have the cortisol spiking nature of crack. You know. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's the big thing. I think that's like what most of the people on the street are doing now is just smoking fentanyl. Sounds nice. I learned a lot about fentanyl. You see that that video of that Indian dude smoking the fentanyl on the bus. You see that? Yeah. And he's like, bro, what are you doing? He's like, you're smoking fentanyl. Yeah. You're actually the one smoking fentanyl. Does he say that? Yeah. It's like a guy filming him and he's like, dude, what are you doing? You're smoking fentanyl on the bus. And he's like, you can't be filming me, man. No, you're smoking. Bus driver, he's smoking fentanyl. Yeah. He gets like super defensive. Fetty. This guy looks pretty good, to be honest with you. See, he's catching a buzz before work. Nothing wrong with that. You don't think anybody's coming to the Barstool office and smoking a little fentanyl? There's probably about 20% of the workforce are on fentanyl. We could have a couple of users. Did you watch Euphoria? Not last night. No, but I'm saying the first two seasons. Yeah. Do you remember the scene where Rue takes the fentanyl? Yeah. It renders her. You're incapacitated from one tiny drop, right? Yeah. But why is this guy able to smoke fentanyl? Is that ingesting the drop? Is that a far more concentrated dose? I think it's no. I think they're probably smoking a similar dose, if I had to guess. But I think people, if you're on drugs, you probably want to get the drug that's going to put you in a fucking black hole. You want the really strong one. And then maybe there's some people who are just smoking it and like, maybe it's not the best drug, or maybe their tolerance is higher, and then they can walk through the world. I see. And just be on the bus smoking it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I get it. Imagine how good it is that you can't even wait to get off the bus. I know, right? Imagine how good it feels that you just can't help yourself. I was like that with my school lunches. You had it first period? I was like that with PB&Js. I was like, ah, fuck, I'm not even at school yet. My whole entree is gone. You're eating your lunch. I'm going to have a lunch of grapes and Dan and yogurt. That's the worst. Yeah. Getting there and you're just done with lunch already. How could I be so hungry? Oh, that's right. I'm growing seven inches a year right now. Come home and take a nap because puberty is just like taking all the water out of my body. Oh, my God. I did. So I did the I moved this week or last week, I guess. Oh, yeah. By the way, I texted you about that and you wouldn't tell us where you moved to. Oh, yeah. I was just. I was just. I was just walking around. I told him I told you move to Philly. Yeah. I mean, I like that. It's closer. Then I was really curious because this has been an ongoing saga for us. And yeah. Yeah. Well, I ended up finding a place in Queens, luckily, but Rockaway. No beach. No, no. But I ended up. So I had to schedule all of the movers and shit, which, by the way, I thought that these moving companies cost like three thousand dollars for the move. It's just going to be a jacked Russian guy. that comes to your place yeah it was like 500 bucks yeah i i the whole time i was like i'm getting a u-haul myself i'm not spending all this money and then i was like oh it's 500 what did you tip the bros though oh i took care of the boys what'd you tip them that's that you didn't no i did it was uh i think i gave him 80 bucks each for three dudes three three dudes yeah that's good on 500 bucks total that's a 50 tip and not bad damn near 50 tip it felt felt solid right i mean i also packed up the whole place before like they didn't really have to do anything oh so you didn't do the they were in and out in 10 minutes yeah that's easy and then they just brought the boxes into the new i just said put them all in one room is your new place of walk up no you've an elevator yeah oh fuck yeah dude yeah welcome to the next chapter i mean my whole place to the big league too yeah yeah oh it did but you never used it because you're on the second floor yeah what floor are you on now the third ah seriously okay i see you bro um you does your new building have doorman no no so your packages will still get stolen yeah okay good why way more just gonna say you know you're gonna take the stairs no the third floor are you crazy i don't know did you take the stairs to the second floor yeah every time but that wasn't even the second for those one flight of stairs like a half that's the second floor why wouldn't that be the second floor because it was the my old apartment the building went down a step no it went down like probably five steps and then no you're five that's it'd be one that's a baker's five steps maybe it is that's an nba travel that you're you're given that there you know it was funny when i was two steps when i was leaving i was like uh i was like damn like finally leaving this place it's been a while getting a little sentimental and then i went to the wall yeah i went to return my key to the super and i was i was uh i was handing it back and she goes what's your name again and i was like all right fuck this place i'm getting the hell out of here i was like oh your daughter was in my room that was the one that was the one where your child walked into my unit she did not care about that no she didn't fuck god damn dude i will miss the stories that came out of that place you didn't feel like knocking on your neighbor's door one last time and just giving her a little smooch goodbye hell no you know hey listen i know it's always been like a will they won't they with us but no they were definitely fired up that i was leaving because the i think some other girl was moving into my building like she was i think there's some whole interconnections that i didn't know about therefore leading to me to believe that they were stealing my packages i really think they were of course they were i really think that what do you mean what do you mean your packages were disappearing i know right away of course they were like as soon as they were delivered but how can you be like i really think they were because i don't know you know enough time went by where i didn't have one get stolen where i was like maybe they weren't stealing she's playing in your fucking face yeah she's probably gonna be stealing them she knows your name yeah she probably has your identity the hottest black market depot for video game controllers came out of the west village of new york for the last three years the only thing that got through was a fucking kettlebell because they picked it up and we're like yeah this is a lot of controllers he's fucking with us what is this controller made of but uh i did have a funny story so i was i was leaving it was i think this was i moved thursday and wednesday i was like getting everything set up and i was like oh my god i'm gonna be like oh my god i'm gonna be like uh thursday the movers come at 8 a.m so i'm like uh they're they take they get everything out very early and then i was like i guess i'll just stay and wait for the junk people to come so that i don't have to like go back and forth and let people in and then the junk people called me so i'm sitting on the couch like that's that's the only thing that's left like a couple yeah and like a couple uh bags of clothes and shit and i got a call and they're like hey this is uh the junk removal people uh we're just uh we're ready to process this and i'm like oh my god i'm gonna be like oh my god your payment and i was like oh it's a little weird i guess they do it before i don't know um and he's like so you're aware like it's gonna be a little bit extra because we'll like we had to chop up the couch and all that and i was like yeah yeah of course and i was like but just a heads up uh i'm actually not having my couch removed anymore because the new tenant is gonna keep my couch and he was like uh i'm a little confused though because you told us that you chopped it up and i was like wait i'm sitting on my couch right now oh no oh no and the dude is like the blue one oh no i'm like no man he goes are you a little blue he goes are you sure and i was like yeah man i'm sitting on my couch and he was like shit all right we're gonna have to call you back and then he calls me back minutes later and i was like i was howling laughing because i'm like they just chopped up some random person's couch like they just broke into someone's apartment destroyed their couch and left and then he called me back and he was like it was a we mixed up the appointments it was a another person that's having the same thing yeah but i was like i said i was like i thought you guys destroyed someone else's couch and they were they were hooting and hollering they were laughing about it oh yeah because i'll tell you what i had junk removal guys come and it was they we did not yeah when they had to chop up my couch too and then they cut through all the way to the floor yeah yeah and then i lost the entire security deposit and then i hit them up and i was like by the way you remember when you cut the floor of my apartment they were like that wasn't us and i was like i watched it happen yeah and they were like well there were lots of scratches on the floor before and i was like yeah but there wasn't sawdust and deep like scarring ruts there were there wasn't a trench that would collect water yeah in the floor before and i was like look it's fine we had security like they are not security insurance they had to submit their building insurance or whatever but when they come into my building to to is when i lived in the same building as round and uh and i like i was like we'll just use the insurance and he was like he's like look when we invoke a claim it raises our rates in other words we don't have insurance in other words that was a completely forged document policy document and i'm like oh but you know i will say like security deposits in new york is just like one of those things a lot of the time you're like i'm not getting that no no you kiss it goodbye i have gotten it back probably like 80 percent of the time the best thing that i've ever had was when i lived in my old apartment like on waverly and i left something like there was something that i did that was like they were going to take it out but they just removed how much it costs to get that removed and then sent me the rest of the security deposit that's really nice yeah that's honest and that's pretty rare because i don't get that ever i you know that i sued my old landlords for taking my whole security deposit no i did not know that have i not told you that story i don't think so did you know i told you that story um i think it sounds vaguely familiar it's just a quick refresher three apartments ago when i lived in chelsea and uh my landlords were just crooks yeah yeah that's the apartment the guy broke in yeah yeah yeah and he was friends with my landlord yeah similar situation to what i was dealing with oh right now no no i was joking i was talking about my name my my super stealing from me oh got it will you a little bit similar you said that the new tenant is connected to them oh it's a whole they got a whole yeah i think it's a whole operation that they're running what kind of an operation would that be get some fake tenants in there make it believe like this is a real residential area oh i live in they're like they're like you don't know is they're all spies they're crap they're crisis actors yeah exactly yeah yeah i had to live in the worst apartment in new york but you know the fact that she wants your couch does not speak highly of her employment yeah i don't know why anyone would have ever looked at that couch and said leave that behind think of who has slept on that couch nobody really i thought it was like lemare oh yeah yeah i guess yeah yeah yeah when you say nobody how i guess i was i mean that was years he said nobody's like they're no but like they don't get booked yeah just nobody's i don't know do arenas that's crazy crazy to say that nobody slept on my couch but our brothers and all my brothers not yours you just called them nobody's i call them somebody slept on that couch but yeah i mean that couch was pretty like i was not it like i was gonna have it both slept on it yeah i guess a lot of people slept on that couch really jumped the gun on nobody at least it's progress that you're admitting that there is a gulf between your blanket statement and the reality yeah i mean there was like shit all like it was gross it's a gross couch you're gonna keep it clean though you're gonna keep your new spot clean where'd you go you didn't go to ashley furniture did you i haven't gotten that's those just gonna bring that up i'm actually furniture i haven't gotten a couch yet yeah you gotta go to go to ashley bro i don't feel like spying another couch is the problem what are you talking about you have a new apartment what are you going to just sit in your gaming chair no i'm not going to - No, that's the thing is-- - You just get a couch. Yeah, but they're just so expensive. I might just get a bean bag. They're not expensive. You know who you can get a couch from where it's a great price? Amazon. Wayfair. Wayfair, the best. Our sponsor. But how do you get them to bring the couch up? Not all couches are a one-piece thing. There's some from Wayfair that it's like you put it together on your own. Sectionals. What if I get the boneless couch? What are our thoughts on the boneless? A bean bag? On the boneless. You're just talking about a bean bag. You just bend it around. No, no, no. The boneless couch, it's like this. It comes in a box. You open it, it puffs out. It takes like three days for it to puff out. Are you talking about like a pool float? You have to pump it like a bicycle tire. Listen to me. You just asked me if- I think I get one of these things. Look at this guy. Look at the person in the middle. What are they? They're doing a damn acrobatic. Oh. I think that's what I get. Yeah, that's perfect. They're like 200 bucks. Well, they're inflatable. Why don't you work with Wayfair? Wayfair, and they're like one of the largest furniture retailers. I know, I know. I was looking at their website this weekend. And they have truly amazing deals. And you asked, how do you get it into your apartment? They do that for you. They bring it up? Yeah. Because when I used Amazon, they didn't bring it up. The guy said, this is where I stop. Correct. That's why you don't do Amazon and you do Wayfair. I just got a bar card off Wayfair. You might have to pay a little. I don't actually know, but you might have to pay a little bit extra for what's called the white glove service. Really? They bring it up? They give you a martini as you're carrying your furniture. Yeah. A string quartet follows it up. They play it into your apartment. It's so nice. You got to get on Wayfair. You got to get some inflatable shit. I was looking at some people's setups for Coachella, and it's like three tents attached to one another with inflatable couches all over the place. It's like they have the full living room set up. That's what I need. I need some inflatable shit. You need to get the Coachella set up. Just get some tapestry separating room from room. You have an open floor plan or what? What's the square footage, brother? I don't know. You're going to have way more weirdo people that you interact with, though, in Queens as opposed to in East Village or West Village. Why don't you say your address now that you're gone? I'm not saying my address. You're safe. No one's going out there. Because, I don't know. No need. It's that pink building. I don't need people to know how beautiful of a spot it was. How far are you from LaGuardia? Now? Yeah. Chipping a pot. Come on. You're going to throw a rock at it. A cast and a reel. I mean, I could book a flight like 30 minutes prior. Yeah. And just get on it. Is it truly like a five to ten minute Uber? Yeah. Yeah. Less than ten minutes. Did I tell you? I did tell you how I made my flight after our Norman episode. Yeah. Maybe I shouldn't have buried the lead on that, that we have Mark Norman coming. Yes. That'll be out soon. Should we cut that? No. That's fine. It matters. That'll be out next week when we're filming all this stuff. Yeah. What else? Hey, son of a boy dad listeners. We'll be right back. The course is calling and your Chevy Equinox can take on whatever the day throws at you. Stylish and ready for anything. Equinox handles your commute, weekend trips, and even those last minute tea times. Easily load up your clubs and gear with plenty of cargo space. Plus, hidden storage. Under the rear floor to keep things neat. And with a big standout touch screen, the Equinox puts all your tech right where you need it. Bold and confident, Equinox looks just as good on the road as it does down the back roads. From the first drive to the final putt, Equinox is built to do more so you can focus on the game. All right. I saw when I walked into the office today, I saw our security guard downstairs drinking. The hand sanitizer straight from the bottle and muttering the N-word. No way. No way. Swear to God. Yeah. Who? Dan. No. Yeah. He's drunk off hand sanitizer. The 99.9% pure, drunk off hand sanitizer, muttering the N-word to himself. Like he was any, it was like saying like the New York N-words instead of the New York Knicks. Yeah. What? Yeah. Is this real? Yeah. Danny was doing this. Dan? The security guard? The security guard. Yeah. Chance. I just saw him downstairs. I know. He wasn't drinking hand sanitizer. This morning he was. Is that because Ebony wasn't here today that he felt like it was okay to get away with that? He was so out of pocket. I couldn't believe it. Do you guys have beef? Like, is there a reason? No, he wasn't saying it to me. Spread such a crazy rumor about him. What a thing to say. I'm waiting for the punchline. I know Rome will find a way to bring this home. Is there a reason? Like, is he a big Knicks fan? What fan? A Knicks fan. Oh, yeah, I guess. I don't know. Is this because you guys are beefing over the Sixers Knicks? That's what it is. No, I wasn't even beefing about it. It sounds like you guys are beefing. There's no beef. He just said it. He was just saying it. Drinking hand sanitizer. To the fucking dome. He said no one counts the hand sanitizer. What a thing to say about somebody. It's so specific. It's so specific it's believable. I thought you were being serious at first. Dude, I am. He was drinking hand sanitizer. Straight from the bottle. Where was it from? It was on the. You know how it's on the front desk? There's so much free booze just in the office. Yeah, but people keep track of that. People keep track of that. Yeah, it says you can't drink it. You shouldn't. Well, you should. Did you tell him? That he can't say that? That he can't drink hand sanitizer. No, he was, like, gone off of it. It seemed like he'd been here since super early in the morning. Hand sanitizer. Oh, they got menthol in it. Dude, I walked by Sparky today downstairs on the first floor and your boy Sparky and. The guy who works the second elevator shaft. Correct. Yeah. Yeah. And I walked by him and I go, hey, Sparky. He goes, what up? And then as I was getting in the elevator, he turned to the guy behind the podium and he goes, everybody in this building knows who I am. He's not wrong. He's bragging about you knowing it. Everybody in the building knows who I am. Just the fact that you came from a theater show on your way to a stadium show. I mean. But that just makes it so much funnier because in his dynamic, he's just like this fucking dick rider. Yeah, yeah. Get off my fucking dick, pussy. Sparky, I wish I could show you the amount of calls and the amount of calls that I get. Answered calls and missed calls I have from him this past weekend. Yeah. He and I are in constant correspondence. Can you guys give me an update on, is there stuff happening in the Barstool world? What was this? What was this? There was another group went to Vegas? Oh, for Max's bachelor party. For Max's bachelor party. Oh, and was it like the Pardon My Take crew? Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's fun. I FaceTimed Max after the Sixers game and he was just with his two brothers and it's just two other exact Maxes on each one of his shoulders just screaming into the camera like we've known each other our whole lives. I think they were all just like buddied up. I think that Max, like, from the looks of that video that he just hung out with his brothers the entire time, that he was just dialed in. It's hilarious. Just flew Big Cat and PFT out there just to be with him and his brothers and like screaming about the Sixers. It seemed like they were all locked in. Like, they were all a three-headed monster. It seemed like it was so fucking fun. They went to a lot of cool shit. Yeah. Looked like a sick party. I really like Max. Yeah, he's hilarious. I like him. Every time I've ever hung out with him or met him, I've been like, that dude's great. And I don't say that about everyone, which makes you know that I hate all the other people I don't say it about. Yeah. He's got the best eyebrows in the company. Yeah. Best eyelashes are Tate, I think. What, uh, what, um, oh, just really quick. As a Celtics fan, that was one of the worst things I've ever watched. What do you mean? Lose, they won game one by 40 points. Yeah. They were up 3-1 in this series. I thought it was a fucking wrap. Yeah, damn. And what happened? Yeah, what happened? What happened? I'll be honest, I didn't pay attention. Tyrese Max, he's the fastest player in the NBA. That's what happened. Yeah, he's fast. He can get to the rim in a way where bigs can't protect the rim because he's getting there too quickly. And Joel Embiid is sick, too. Joel Embiid is amazing, and he hits his free throws. I watched the first game of the series, and I was like, I'll watch the next series. And then I tuned it on. Oh, you chalked it up as a win. Yeah. You countered your chickens. Well, everyone. I don't really watch. I don't pay attention to the Celtics during the regular season, but everyone I know is like, we're going to the finals. So I was like, oh, this will be a breeze. And then I looked up on, when did they play game seven? Friday? Saturday. Saturday. On Saturday, I looked up NBA on tonight. I was like, I'll watch some basketball. And then I saw Celtics Sixers game nine, or game seven. Game nine. I was like, game nine. It felt like game nine. I was like, game seven. I was like, oh, what the fuck? And then I watched that game. I watched us lose and I went nope x out of the don't care about that anymore i guess i'll i guess i actually never cared about just made me fucking mad dude i i you know i haven't really had an investment i don't really care about other teams and sports but the celtics matter to me and when they lost that series i was mad really yeah i like fucking went on stage and was calling people the f slur yeah that's so nice san francisco a bunch of f slurs at this fucking town yeah getting dragged off stage just nuts being nasty and mean dirty apps i love doing that yeah right after losing a louis when your team loses it's the that is that or make a twitter burner and throw some racism out there yeah directly at the player and their family's accounts oh i'm sorry that i'm lashing out at all you gays my celtics lost yeah the men i support lost speaking of sports i had this thought on my mind i was like i'm gonna go to the celtics i'm gonna go to the celtics i'm gonna go to the toilet uh oh talk to me nice i think like uh als the disease was called als until lou garrick right got it and then from then on now it's really known as lou garrick's disease that's why they call chlamydia wilt chamberlain now i was gonna say like imagine being so good at your sports that like aids becomes francis ellis disease yeah yeah that would be cool do you want a better disease though do you want like they'll only give you the name if that disease is shorted if it's if it's an acronym or no i think it's if it's if it's like a deadly disease like i got ellis yeah like lou garrick is true true the ellis challenge what disease would you guys want named after you that currently exists just like a pox or something like that something that like everybody gets over but like has a little cachet yeah yeah covid what if diarrhea became settles disease yeah i mean it would make sense oh boy i got i got a real bad case of the settles right now why is legionnaires called legionnaires was that named after a person or like a group of people legionnaire that's a good one we got to google that we got to find out why legionnaires is called because that seemed what's a legionnaire legionnaires makes it sounds like fw group or something sounds like i think of like a soldier in the roman army or something like that um legionnaire of the american legion convention in philadelphia in 1976 there you go what that's named after oh i thought it was like an old disease i thought it was like trench footers that's pretty recent legionnaires 1976 what is that what it said fuck yeah legionnaires uh it's crazy they had 34 people dying of a disease in philly in the 70s they had a mini covid in one city what yeah what the fuck happened did there there was like some bad toothpaste or something must have been that's what happens from sharing toothpaste if you share another comedian what do you think this is legionnaire this moose disease uh dude there are a number of obviously diseases that are just named after i presume the people who discovered them right guillain-barre syndrome or uh i'm assuming hodgkin's lymphoma is named after barry hodgkin's uh i just made that up it's actually mike lymphoma what is it mike lymphoma well done well done i didn't deserve a laugh when you had a far better tag thomas hodgkin so it's not that i always thought it was the person who had the disease first the doctor i think hodgkin's was the doctor and then lymphoma was the guy was the patient got it yeah yeah exactly you want to clap you want to go 50 50 on this but then but yeah but then it's like isn't it interesting that sometimes it's the person who gets there you go why isn't hiv called magic i don't think he wants it named after him i think he probably wants to like distance himself i think it was too late in the game i think i think it had found long enough that he couldn't be patient zero a lot of people famous people who had gotten it at that point yeah easy uh the lead singer of queen queen yeah charlie sheen freddie mercury later freddie mercury mercury disease would be well then they've got mercury poisoning yeah oh age should be called mercury poisoning wow yeah the cock is the poison yeah the needle the poison damn wow there's a little on the nose a little too obvious liberace anthony perkins kendrick perkins that would break my heart it's got to be tough being one of those people on the list that just no one knew had aids like no one knew that that guy from from psycho had aids until now that's what they're doing with homosexuality yeah like dude weaponizing it or but like guys would just be career gay guys career class the gay guys yeah they come out of their closet after their death posthumously and that's all they're known for da vinci you see that video of that little kid doing the anti-gay song uh i saw something a while ago about a little kid with the anti-gay song and it was pretty good this one's not great this one's pretty bad okay i i got a 13 year old rapper got something to say was this the kid i think this kid is mostly i think all of his songs are anti-gay he's got a gun in that i think he's got an anti-gay catalog oh my god all right it's badass oh geez i don't love this kid no he's pretty bad oh hear him out hear him out bad kid i don't think we should let's not platform him um you should get him on the pod speaking of the pod so in oklahoma i uh when we were we were at this pretty sweet place called uh shangri-la was the like golf resort it's on the lake we were at this pretty sweet place called uh shangri-la it's on the lake it was cool and um we're up by the course we finish our round and there's a kid probably a 13 year old kid uh on the practice putting green and i'm wearing my son of a boy dad hat our new hat that are fucking sick i wore it the whole week and uh he goes he goes putting contest for your hat and i was like oh i was like do you know the pod and he's like oh yeah oh yeah i'm like you you listen to son of a boy dad he's like i don't miss an episode i'm like dude you're 13 like that's i you can't there can't be too many 13 year olds you'd be shocked you'd be shocked that listen to this it's mostly 13 year olds and girls it is it is now i've looked at the numbers that would be devastating but 13 year olds it was just all little boys listening to no we'd have to we'd have to get like a a food product that they could like buy yeah lunch yeah yeah like we need something sassables sassables would be great imagine kids getting like a capri sun and a pre-made cracker sandwich that'd be so nice um but then this kid was listen to how precocious what does that say tyler 0.5 percent women or 13 year olds 13 year olds just got to make sure we're not putting out a kids product hey son of a boy dad listeners we'll be right back but first a quick message from one of our partners work hard and hydrate hard with body armor flash iv whether you're working in extreme heat or powering through a long shift body armor flash iv delivers faster longer lasting hydration with more than 2 000 milligrams of electrolytes vitamins b and c and zinc coconut water and no artificial sweeteners flavors or dyes body armor flash iv keeps you performing at your best get body armor flash iv at your local 7-eleven all right now back to the episode last year is seven percent female seven percent female 0.1 13 all right 0.1 13 so there you go you might have met the one that's kid yeah it might be just that one yeah and i'm trying to think of what his name was it was like calvin or something like that anyway so he i'm like all right yeah like i'll i'll i'll do a putt off with you for it and then frank and he got frankie to join too and and then he was like uh he was like actually let's play for some money and i was like what he's white man can't jumping you and he's like i got money and i go where do you have money from and he goes i day trade i swear to god frankie can corroborate this entire story and i was like you is that even legal you day trade that's crazy what are you talking about 13 year olds and then he was the worst putter i've ever fucking seen we waxed him yeah yeah we actually didn't win a single i was like i'm keeping the fucking hat did he put up anything no i mean we were just like i wanted to give him the hat but you know you got to earn it and i can't just let this kid who's like you know a fucking day trader that was one of three hat yeah yeah um that's crazy he was funny day trading never missed an episode dude jerry was such a riot oh yeah but uh you know he i mean i spent so much time with him he's just like you and mook like bush is his life oh he's obsessed you guys are dude we get to we get to we get to oklahoma late so we flew into tulsa and then it was an hour and a half drive from tulsa into the middle of nowhere northwest or northeast or oklahoma right on the missouri border god i can't speak at all and um we're like we're looking for food there's no there's nothing open we like passed the area that had food and we were like there's probably something closer yeah yeah sure enough there wasn't we ended up going to eat dinner at a gas station uh that actually like wasn't horrible and then as we are it's it's 10 minutes from the gas station to the course and we pass a strip club called the office yeah that's what it was called jerry's lane the office and i was like oh my god jerry he's like they're not open on tuesdays he's like they open wednesdays to saturdays and i'm like oh my god he's already done all the research he knew the nearest strip club he's like one of those autistic people where you can be like april 9th 1384 and he's like it was a tuesday yeah charlene was dancing and uh she was wearing black panties uh no but um so then we get to the hotel we check in it's fucking late yeah yeah it's like it's like the night watch lady yeah yeah and i go get my key and blah blah and then he comes up and he goes i'm sorry um do you guys have any pcs here and she's like i'm sorry what he's like do you have any you know personal computers she's like we have a business media center but no i don't think so he's like okay well i need to do some gaming like he stays up till four in the morning gaming every night and then he wakes up at six yeah he wakes up early he sleeps two hours a night dude that's it yeah dude like he'll you're gonna live to 45 doing that that's the life expectancy rate the only other people have lived like that are like mozart yeah yeah and benjamin franklin i think yeah or like soldiers under siege like you have to like your cortisol is through the roof yeah your blood pressure is like howling it's like a teapot yeah i mean he definitely he doesn't really sleep i mean he's up you're like we'll play video i mean i usually get off first when we play video games like i'm usually the first one to call it and then him and mook will stay on yeah you probably feel responsible as hell like okay you boys don't stay on too late yeah we played on saturday night we played on saturday night we played on saturday night we played on saturday night we played on saturday night we played on saturday night we played on saturday night and jerry it was me mook jerry and my buddy peters and yeah and then jerry just goes boys i gotta be honest with you i'm loving this sesh right now i was like i gotta go to bed it's way too late yeah yeah just buzzing apparently numbers is fighting a nasty fire i just saw that did you see that still photo of nicky numbers in front of a huge fire that was like billowing out of the fucking window yeah jerry said he's been fighting it for 48 hours yeah but he had time to post for a picture yeah i was gonna say i'm all i'm all for it but i've learned that their numbers is a bit of a scam artist oh yeah with not with the fires yeah maybe not they i could mean that's the photo that he posted there's a massive flame flying out of the window if you could find a way to yeah look at it there he is yeah there he is that's so crazy that they got it and that's hitting his face perfectly that's why you get he's gotta be furious yeah because they're seeing action i don't think they see all that i think it's a lot of just hanging around the firehouse on the game no i don't know i don't have no idea um jerry they they didn't bring his they gave him the wrong baggage or something like that yeah yeah i saw that where twitter oh yeah they posted a video of him with no pants on yeah yeah yeah and he texted our group he's like i got a disaster everybody i got no clothes what do they mean they gave him the wrong bag i don't know if they gave him the wrong bag or his bag just didn't arrive but he didn't figure it out until we got to the hotel which makes me think that he forgot a bag he had the wrong golf bag do you know this story no no i just saw the video got it jerry what do you mean what do you mean your pants you got no pants you look good though i'll say come over here what'd you get on the airplane with well whatever the case may be uh we go to that picture someone from the resort went someone from the resort went all the way to the tulsa airport and got his bag and brought it back oh nice and he was like i got it this woman doesn't have zell yeah yeah he's like this woman doesn't have zell i can't give her a tip does anyone have any cash i was like i gotta i got cash he's like you got a lot of cash i was like yeah i got a lot of cash and he's like you got 500 and i was like i got 500 i give him 500 bucks to tip who to tip the woman who the airport's an hour and a half away went all the way to the airport to get him his bag and brought it back for him and uh and i give him 500 bucks and uh he sends me the money and then he goes i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do and he goes oh uh francis you only gave me 400 and i'm like oh fuck sorry hang on and he goes he goes i'm just kidding i'm just kidding you gave me five but that's that's a nikki numbers special right there oh it was great no he said that nikki numbers called him so nikki numbers has been playing a lot of video games and and he said that uh he called jerry and he was like i need a new monitor and and jerry was like oh yeah you like you should definitely get one and he's like the problem is i just can't swing it right now and he's like so you're just calling me asking you to buy you a monitor like that's pretty much and then he said that now he wants a he wants a pc he wants a computer did he buy him one no but he said that he's gotta buy him one he said let's dig into the budget we can't why apparently numbers is banned from the budget what no numbers apparently all numbers uh travel has to come straight out it has got to come from jerry no one else let's get jerry a pc jerry's got a pc no what i'm saying let's get jerry a pc oh yeah i think that they've worked on they've tried that already let's get mook a pc mook already has let's get mook a pc i know they're working on it they're working on getting numbers one but apparently the thing is that they don't know how to set it up trickle down you know what i mean nobody knows that mook has a pc right now dude sometimes it really i i lose sense of this because we live in it but i was telling a friend of mine recently like a story and i was like yeah i was i was hanging out with uh jersey jerry and he was telling me a story about nicky numbers and mook was laughing about it and little sass was like and the guy was like who are these fucking people like are you growing up on like a stoop in the 1930s are these news boys that you're fucking dealing with i mean i think jersey jerry and nicky numbers the way that numbers and jerry talk about their childhood like i think they did grow up on a stoop yeah like they all have nicknames like all they've all got names like all their buddies they're like and it's all alliteration nicknames yeah alliterative nicknames yeah little sass would play mook could play francis did you what was did no one ever hit you with like i mean fran is franny fudge franny yeah that's nice franny fudge yeah not irish or not uh italian enough though i was i spent some time with some polish folk this weekend really i was squad deep with some some poles in uh greenpoint it really is a polish really to greenpoint yeah it's hard to get their neighborhood it's tough to get to yeah there's some there's like what's that bakery around there that's like that has a fucking monster line like it wraps around the entire neighborhood it's just what could they be selling that that's that good do you need to do that right now i'm so hungry okay you went you put that pringle in upside down happens you're supposed to put the flavorful side right onto the tongue or otherwise you're wasting all artistry of the pringle is not the sushi it's the the rice yeah so you need to put the rice on your tongue you got it all don't matter how you eat it you are on a i'm sorry please keep there's no there's no story here i just spent some time with some some polish people well what are they like they're incredible except for their language just sounds like it's it's like being rewound it's like oh yeah icelandic yeah this shit is but i mean they're there it sounds icelandic though they're i think they just sound like they're just like they're just like they're just like they're just get a bad rap the italians and the irish get a soak up all the glory while the polish people are the true backbone the italians and the irish are just like flamboyant versions of the polish people yeah simple right down the middle no heart in the in the jersey jerry's french jersey jerry spent some time with some polish people on wednesday at the office did he yeah they knew their way around a pole the poles yeah very nice um what was i gonna say you you've been on a which the world has never seen. here yeah right yeah i wonder why because i brought them in here and i never opened them bingo you you've got like emergency pringle stashes yeah pretty much what's what is it about pringles that you like more than other anything else any other food why is it why is pringles no i mean it's i just like chips and they're the best chip are they by a mile better than you know kettle baked or whatever the fuck they're called kettle cooked kettle baked there's baked there's not even no chips i feel like i just like exposed myself to the cartel um i meant uh no i know i know where i know it doesn't go in your nose you just gave yourself away mr ellis oh here here i'll try come on what's up what's up what's up what's up what a what a narc actually eat the pringles no i mean like like look i like a good lays like a good ruffle ruts uh ruts there is kettle cooked what what was wrong with you said kettle baked there's baked and there's kettle cooked baked it's like 50 less fat okay i love a good lays more fat a good lays baked nothing wrong with that yeah but i know a lot of people are anti-lays specifically big cat are they they're too mass i don't know we went um cape cod i like i like the cape codders there you go cape cod of course great but cape cod it's not a chip that you're just gonna casual like that's uh it's a very messy chip oh that's wrangle no dust yeah that's a clean one that's probably it feels baked it has like a big quality to it exactly it has but it is and also an orderly chip you know how many pringles you're gonna get in the can every single time it's not like you could you could open up a cape cod it could be 75 percent empty a little bit of air in here but pringles you're getting how many chips we think is in a pringles i if i had to guess i would say 80 to 100 we gotta count them out i can't believe that there's any inconsistency i thought it would be down to the number it has to be you know what i'm gonna do is i'm gonna go find all your emergency pringle stashes and i'm gonna shake the shit out of them that's fine i don't mind because you don't like messy no you said you didn't like a messy that's what you like but if they're crushed up you just drink them like it's like from a cup you're not gonna like that i've done it before yeah i'll do it again yeah in a pinch right what you can't do see it looks like they've got the approximate amount or they've got approximately 60 chips in the cape cod bag cape god and there's 80 in the pringles and i bet the cape cod costs more and it's a better quality chip in the pringles as far as the consistency of pringle nothing worse than when you get a bag of pringles you get a you get a can of pringles and they're all they're all sideways you're like how did this happen you can't even get them out oh man yeah yeah yeah yeah all right yeah all right i think i need to go to bed 38 hours right now um all right thank you guys all for listening uh we will be back on thursday trying to think if i've got anything to uh promote i don't by the way san francisco was awesome thanks everyone the videos of that uh venue looked fucking sick it was like a deep room and it was it looked packed it's huge it's like 400 yeah what kind of entrees did they have there they had fish and chips no quite literally a great cob salad which makes sense how ironic you'd have to nail isn't it ironic oh getting into league of legends that's my new thing mac bad apparently it like takes over your life yeah people who play that game don't it's like the most uh epic game right i don't know it's just been around forever people have been playing it for so there's so many different characters and shit that you got to memorize you to met why it's like a strategy game right would you call it that yeah yeah well said he said it's like he plays similar what's that the game that he plays dota 2 you play what the man's version man's oh yeah dota 2 i looked up i looked up is what's harder and they said dota and i was like i'm going with league what about fantasy what's the one something fantasy fantasy football final fantasy is that a game that's like you do not know what this game is francis why do you mean why don't i because you didn't have a 4 is that that they only started on four it's that's what it looks like it's been around since 1997 harry you might be right i might be wow i might be well we already ended the episode this isn't going anywhere you should have bailed all right goodbye you