Windows

Lovely Rodrigo. What a quality engineer you are for a better class of podcast. We're very lucky to have you. Hmm. You are. Hello and welcome to the Luxury Podcast. My name's Jonathan Vernon Smith and with me is William Hanson. This is the podcast that helps you live a more luxury life. Hello, Jonathan. I here to help you create the everyday moments of luxury that make life worth living for ever your budget. Yeah, now in each episode of "I'm sorry, sorry, sorry." I'll try that again. In each episode of the Luxury Podcast, William and I tackle an area of life that we think you should upgrade. Sorting the on's lows from the higher since advising the nation in gracious living. So William, what are we going to talk about today? Well, I wonder if they'll be able to see through this topic. We're talking about Windows. Now, who came up with this? No idea. Maybe me, I don't know. Yeah, Windows. How do I have a luxury window? Yes, and I did have to clarify with say that it's not, I thought we'd call that computer operating system originally. Right. But it's not. It is the things that you look through, hopefully. If you've got a view, you might have. In fact, I had a great conversation yesterday with some friends who went to dinner about a UV film that you can have put on. If you've got big sort of crystal or bifolds or whatever, have a UV film put on, so it takes out some of the heat. Well, I have a man that does this because the man. I think I'm about to have a man that does this as well. Because the man that does this for me is also the man that installed my high security film. Yes. Well, could you please, actually, because whilst we wait for our air conditioning to be installed? Not another one. You want me to put another, another tradesman in your way. I'd always rather go off a recommendation. I like these tradesmen up for you and you pick them off one by one, don't you? I don't think I've seen that film. Yes, I do. Well, I do have a nice young man. Does he operate in my area? I don't know. I don't know, but I can ask him. Please. That would actually help cool it down, even if we did have AC, it would work more efficiently. Yes. You can also have the film put on with a mirrored exterior, so no one can see in. That's fine because we're overlooked by the school. There's no one overlooking us, is there? Okay. So I'm not that fast about that, but yes, if I were, I'd absolutely have that quite lovely. So what do we think is a luxury window? Sash. Definitely sash. Definitely sash. Double hung. Call me, call me, call me, call me, call me. What's double hung? Double hung. Yes. I've got to tell you what double hung. Well, there's side hung, I know that, but that's more for a casement windows. What's double hung? Double hung. I'm going to make me chew. You're right. Do you need a Heimlich? Double hung is where the top sash moves and the bottom sash moves. Yes, where the top and bottom open. That's right. Yes, quite. So you could adjust your top and bottom. Good. That's, that's, that's, that's double hung. Oh. And that's the way I like it. But you have sash windows. I thought you were case windows. No, I don't. No, I don't. What do you want about you? Well, if I, if I was getting, if firstly, if I had the right property. Yeah. I don't live in a double hung kind of house. No. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. But don't worry about it. Right. So. Go with what you've got. Ah. With what God gave you. So my property is not right for double hung. Yours is. Oh, we are double hung. You are double hung. Yeah. Of course you are. But I have, um, well, front and back. Are you? I don't know how exactly. Yeah. But if I had the right property, I'd definitely be double hung. No mistake about it. How much do you think it would cost to redo your windows? A lot. A lot. Because you. Well, I'm plastic. I'm double, I'm double glazed with a UPVC. Hopefully. And in an ideal world, I'd like to replace them, um, probably just the front. Because your curve of appeal is what matters. And you got that big bush out of the back. So don't really see your back. I've got a very big bush out the back. But what I would go for in my property. And I'm going to say something controversial. Oh. I'd avoid timber. I would, there you go. I said it. Oh. I would avoid timber. Why? I'd like a flush fronted UPVC where the frame and the window is completely flush. And you can get them in some lovely colors, some very, very nice colors. They give the appearance of a timber window, but without any of the maintenance, you see. And you also get the high security fixings. I'm sure with the timber window, you can. Well, timber is, uh, yeah, I mean, timber. So firstly, if you go to a luxury company. Yeah. But timber, um, is I, I still feel timber will be easier to break into than UPVC. Because the UPVC that they make windows out of, especially designed that even with a crowbar, it kind of bends in a way that it won't allow you to actually buckle the lock open. Yeah. But you've got a master blaster. Well, I have. But even so, I still like to be absolutely secured to and above British standards. So I think I would still go for that. Also, the other thing, um, timber requires a lot of maintenance. I mean, have you had to have yours done yet? No. When you do, you're going to see what I mean, because it's very time consuming to have your timber windows repainted. What I actually am now thinking, are we timber on our windows? We're definitely double hung. Oh, hang on a minute. So after all of that with you almost being sick and you might also be double hung with a plastic finish. I think we're wudging out the back. Are you? Yeah, which is the wrong way round. If you're going to have it one way round. I actually don't know because we have. We wonder how they're going to reach those windows when you have them repainted scaffolding. We, um, yeah, because we have shutters. I don't really look at my windows very often. Well, when you have your windows repainted, it's very timely. No time consuming problem. Um, I once had a huge row. How about if you have a wood stain? Yeah, like if they're just wood colored. Well, you still got to maintain them. Well, you'd redoing the weather affects them. But I had a big row once with the man that I, you, yes, in my last flat. Do you remember the man I had a row with before I chased him down the road? Yes, yes, we've done that story. This was another man. Okay, okay. This was a man who owned, he owned a top floor flat. I'm going to call him for the sake of this story, Gordon. And Gordon was a cheap, uh, cheap skate. Okay. And everybody else had invested in high quality luxury double glazing for a better class of, of apartment. And he refused to, because he rented his property out. And his windows started going all shabby. All the paint was peeling off. They're terrible. And we had a bill through for the, from the managing agents. Um, dividing the cost of the rep, repainting of his windows between all 14 owners. No. No. No. So I phoned him up. I got his telephone number, found it where he lived, phoned him up. And I said, I need to talk to you about your windows. Well, he was upstairs. No, he didn't live there. We rented it. Oh, we rented it for you. So I phoned him up. We've all had a bill to repaint them. And he said, well, that's not my problem. The, the upkeep of the building is divided between all of the owners. I said, but we've all had luxury double glazing installed. You're the only one that has them. Why should we all have to pay for your windows to be repainted? Anyway, he, he went mad that I phoned him up. And we had a absolutely blazing row. I loved it. And he ended up slamming the phone down on me. Hmm. Next week, scaffolding up those windows were repainted by him. Never spoke to him again. Never saw him again. But he had those windows done. And I did not pay no. Well, well done. No one did, apart from him. Yeah. So that's the problem with, with wood. You've got to paint it. And it's how often do you think you use paint it? Well, I don't know. But I often walk past windows, wooden windows. And I see them starting to go rotten. And you know, the paint spilling. And you think, gosh, this is a regular maintenance job. I would say every few years you have to have them done. Oh, yeah. Because you see, we got a new front door coming later on the year, November, of course, you have, we think. In fact, in fact, it was a shame that it has, I did chase up today because we're in the process now of choosing our stained glass. Oh. And I thought, maybe I could bring in some patterns and get you to help pick for our windows app. It's August's at the time recording. So people are off. So I can't. But I made in another episode. - And why don't you like to help you choose your window? - We're going geometric, not floral. - Nice. - Some people go floral and it works really nicely. In fact, the people I was at dinner with last night they've got floral stained glass door. - Oh well. - But I think we're a bit more geometric. - I think you definitely are. - Yeah, yeah. - With what we're doing, so that's it. And we colours, we haven't got, hair would grey. - Oh, yes, like a bluey grey. - Very. - Not far off the colour of your, in this light it looks a bit grey. - Isn't this lovely colour? - Yes, Jonathan's polo shirt, it's like, it's not a navy. - No, so hair would grey. - It's petrol blue. - Petrol blue. - There you go. - Yes. - Petrol blue for you. (laughing) - So can you now agree with me that maybe you PVC is not to be sniffed at? - It's not, no, no, I would say in an idle world wooden windows are smarter. - Yeah. - I'm sorry, you can't. It may not be as secure as smarter. But it depends on your property as well. Because some modern properties, they suit aluminium or even steel frame windows. - Well, crystal. - Crystal exactly. - This is out in the back, you know. - Exactly, crystal. - Actually, some friends I went to come visit this morning. They've got crystal out in the back now. They've just done a Renault, as they would call it in Australia. And their crystal is an aluminium, sort of a light grey colour. Not sort of silver, just a light grey, not the sort of the usual sort of black that you see. And I thought, oh, actually that looks quite nice. 'Cause it's not as, 'cause sometimes black, depending on the space, can look very imposing. - How long until you replace your by-folds with acrylic? - Oh, my people, if it's actually my husband, we would have done it already. But I've said, I can't really be bothered to go to the expense or the hassle. - I just think they're gonna be a bit of a fad. I think they're gonna wage, you know, things come in and go out. And they're quite a statement, aren't they? - They are, so we're sticking with my phone. - I think by-folds will end up being more timeless, 'cause I don't want to do other stuff in the house, but we'll do that quite. - What are our thoughts in terms of the inside of the window, and how to dress one's window? What's the most luxury way? - Well, let's start with what the most luxury way isn't net curtains. - Net curtains? (laughing) Yes, we probably agree on that. - I don't know whether I prefer a net curtain. I wonder if those really awful, what are those sort of school blinds? You know, they're sort of the- - Oh, the ones that concertina. - Yeah. - Yeah, what are they called? - Yeah, I can't stand those. - Right. - They look fine in an office, perhaps. - What are they called? - Or in a school, but not in a home. - No. - And bucket heads, I'm sorry, if you've got any, then you're listening and they're in your home. I'm very sorry if I offended you. - But you don't really care. - Rip them out, but I'm sorry, they're awful. - But unless it's a rented property, please don't rip them out without going on. - No, no, no, no, no, no. But you can get smart ones. - Can you? - You can have them replaced, yes. You can get them replaced with some kind of, some fabricy ones. - Okay, yes. - Rather than that sort of gray utilitarian gray. - Yeah, yeah, you don't have that. - But there's also- - How do you have those? - I'm sorry? - Don't you have not the gray ones? - In my study. - Yes. - Okay. - I think in an office environment, it's fine. But in a bedroom or a living room environment, it's definitely not. - No, that's where you have your neck curtains. - That's right. - But then you say neck curtains. - No. - Well, she's the, no, no, not neck curtains. - Sure. - The shears, now shears, I think are a more executive neck. - Yes, it's when they've got the sort of the pattern, the joyly-esque pattern in. That's where it's really, it's really- - I think if you've got a big window, and you need some privacy, shears can look terribly executive. - Yes, completely. And they dress the window nicely as well. But they're basically neck curtains, aren't they shears? - But they're not neck. - That's shears. (laughing) - No. - We don't have shears. - No, no. - Well, you don't need to. - No. - Because you've got wooden plantation shutters. - We just call them shutters now. - Why do you just call them shutters? - 'Cause it's more politically correct. (laughing) - Oh. - It's just called shutters. - They're joking. - No. - They're not called plantation shutters. - Just called shutters. (laughing) - I've had to give Ferris people in my life the talk. (laughing) - They're called plantation shutters. - They were. - Yeah. - Maybe when you were a child. - I'm looking this up. - Then now we now just call them shutters. - Why do you need that first word? - Because they- - There's no different from a normal shutter. - Because they were the words you, they were the blinds or the shutters that were used in plantations. - Mm-hmm. - And we now call it shutters. - Yes, but shutters can be a few said shutters. I'm thinking of the Londis. Pull my big metal shutter down, pant lock it at the bottom. I don't think that sounds like a plantation. Plantation shutters, here we go. - Yes, but I think we just call them shutters. Everyone knows in a domestic property, you're not gonna have your metal grill that outside the Londis. It's just called shutters. - Hilaries, plantation shutters. (laughing) You see? - Well, I think Hilaries should be canceled. (laughing) - Right. - Unless they wish to sponsor us. - There's even a company called PlantationShutters.co.uk. - Yes, I know, we used them. (laughing) - But that was in our previous property. - But you've decided they're unPC shutters. I think it's nicer. - Shutters. - But I do think shutters, or PS, whatever you want to call them, are smart. - High security roller shutters. - No, that's what William has in his living room. (laughing) - Surprise you haven't got one. - You do have one. - I do. (laughing) - You're a carpool. - No, that's not a shutter. - Wait, it used to show it shutters. - It's not. That's a high security prison style door. It's, you know what it's called? - No. - A bandit door. (laughing) - I've got a bandit door. (laughing) - Well you might not be double hung, but at least you've got a bandit door. (laughing) - It's true, it's true. So there's you with your roller shutters. Me with my bandit door. - What a lovely homes we've got. - But we've moved on to doors and, well, yes. No, bandit doors, I feel we could do another episode on bandit doors. - 'Cause I've got to go into this. - With shutters, your kind of plant, plant, plant, plant, and shutters. - Yeah. - I find that can make a room very dark. - Well they can do. - Yeah. - Depends on how many slats you've got in the opening. - How many of you got? - Per sort of pain, we must be eight. - And have you got one of those little wooden sticks that you lived up and down to it just your life? - We did so in the previous property, where we used that company, we did have little sticks. So you would just hold onto the rod and move it up and down. (laughing) - Mikey has just ordered some new shutters that have not yet been installed, they've been installed next week for his study. - Well they're not powered by Alexa, are they? - No. - But they don't have a rod. But they all move, you only move one and they all move together. - Oh, exactly. - Yeah, which I think all lads do, I think, in the bedroom. I can't remember if the bedroom ones have rods or not. I like a rod because I think it's easier. You can just use it and then they're all done. - But do you have curtains as well in the bedroom? - No, we don't. - Oh, it's not very cozy. - Well, I think the bedroom's very cozy. - What with shutters? - Yes! - Well, I like the curtains closed. - No. - I've got a fully upholstered helmet. (laughing) - This might be my favorite episode ever, though. - I'm not joking, I know you do. - I've got it. - I've seen it. - I've had it upholstered, but I love that because it hides the track and gives a hotel shriek look. And I pull my little cord, my curtains go across. - It's like the crème, isn't it? - And it just, it is. - I say goodbye, all my curtains. But I just love curtains. In the winter, I don't think you can beat curtains for cozyness. - No. But how often are you in your bedroom? - Every night. (laughing) - Well, not every night. - But. (laughing) - No, every night. - Yeah, I know, every night. - No, but like, you go in to sleep. You're not like, oh, I'm gonna go. I mean, some people have massive bedrooms and might go and read a book in there. - I like to watch television in the bedroom. - Oh, you see, you do have a television in your bedroom. - I do, I like to go to bed. In the winter, pull the curtains. Get under the duvet, all cozy. Watch an episode of Benador. And then go to sleep. - It's getting classier by the minute. - Luxurrating underneath my fully upholstered pelvis. (laughing) - Okay, let's talk about the cleanliness of the windows. - Oh, here we go. Do you clean your own windows, where you can? - Inside. - Inside. - Yes. - Outside, I have a highly qualified professional in the form of Pete with his extendable pole. - We have a perfect finish, Ryan, who comes and does us. - Inside and out sometimes. - Is he pole-fed? - Yes. (laughing) - Only if he does a good job. (laughing) - This episode is disgusting. - Absolutely disgusting. - Literally, he came about three weeks ago and did us inside and out front and back all floors. - 'Cause he did. - Literally two days later on our skylights. - Oh, but on both of them, managed to defecate. So I've had to text him 'cause we've got the Suarez coming up. - Oh, I said I can't have Pooey Skylights. - No, I have kamikaze pigeons, that's my problem. - What do they do? - Well, often people come around. He comes around on a Saturday, first Saturday of the month. And he'll do my big front window. And all of a sudden, you'll be sitting there watching cash in the attic and there's a big bang. And a pigeon flies into my window and then leaves a dusty imprint of a pigeon with the feathers. It's like an angel in the middle of the window. - And there's a pigeon drop to the floor all. - Sometimes they die. Sometimes they nearly die. At which point I have to go and get something. - I was gonna say, you're gonna get an extra labor. - Oh, in fact there was a sad situation the other day. Yeah, it was some, it was Ben Day. And I'd heard a bang and I thought it might have been a pigeon. And I went home to my kitchen bin and my wheelie bin was outside at the edge of the driveway. Waiting for the highly qualified professionals to come and empty it. And so I went to put my kitchen bin waste in there and I could hear a little flapping. And next to the bin was the pigeon who'd obviously flown into my window. - Yeah. - And tried to fly away. - He'd got a broken wing and a broken neck. - So you snap to it. - Oh, I did not snap at it. I did not. Actually it's a happy ending this story. - Oh, I thought I'll have my shower. - Don't know about your happy ending in the shower. - I thought I'll have my shower and then I'll take it to settle. 'Cause I didn't want to wake him up too early. It was the crack. - Okay. - And when I came out having had my shower and got myself already, it had gone. And I can only assume. - It'd be needed to buy a fox. (laughing) - Or either that or it was mulled by a fox. - Right. - Whatever you want to tell yourself. - But I do live in the countryside and these things happen. - Oh yes. - Yeah, absolutely. - So when you do clean your windows inside, what are you using? Ooh, ooh, ooh, when you come to Frig. The Spanish do incredible glazing shammies. They do. They do lovely cloths that have a rough side and then a high-buff side. - Great, because I used to use lint-free dusters and nobody sells lint-free dusters anymore 'cause it's all gone microfiber. - Yeah. - And I remember, I think I've told the story before, but at my grandmother's funeral, not etiquette granny, but grandma, I had been saying to my other granny etiquette granny that I could not find lint-free dusters for love or money anymore. And right outside of grandma's funeral, as I'm in floods of tears, having walked out with the coffin, granny comes up to me with a lint-free duster and goes, "There we go, you can take that back." Hang on, who died? - Grandma, but then granny. - Oh. (laughing) (laughing) - Yeah, plot twist. (laughing) - She came back from the dead. - I must give him that duster. - Gave me a duster. - No, yeah. And I still have it to this day. It's very thread-bearing, I don't use it, but I can't throw it away. - Oh, that's nice. - I remember both grand pairs. - Well, the Spanish do sell some wonderful window cloths. - Great. - More will get some. You see, I don't use a product. I would use a squirt of fairy-liquid and some white vinegar for the dirt. - Oh, yeah, but then you smell like a fish and chips. - No, you don't, Jonathan. Only if it's a splash. - Right. - Just, especially if you're doing outside the windows, you absolutely need. - Have you tried the last three of the blue has window cleaners? - No, but I have a feeling I will be. - The smell is absolutely joyous. - You tried it for a day. - No. - Oh. - It's really lovely. It's got a lovely perfume to it. - It doesn't smell like, 'cause you know when you use window lean or Mr. Marshall or whatever you call it? - Nilglass, have you tried nilglass? - No. - That's very good. - Yeah. - Yes. Lakeland. - Oh. - They do nilglass, doesn't smell. So you don't get the smell, but it is very good. I'll try and get you some nilglass. - No, don't worry, because I like my last three of the blue has. - No, but if I'm going to try yours, you've got to try mine. - Look, I like the smell. I'm not going to get the smell last. - Oh, spritz a bit in the air whilst you're using nilglass. - Okay, well, I'll try it. I'll try it. - We haven't taught, I mean, we've taught about films for windows. - Yeah. - Car windows. - I feel we should just touch upon blackout windows. - Yes. - I have them. - Oh, right. - So do you. Before you stop that little-- - I mean, so I do. (laughing) - I'm hardly in the car. - Really hum. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I think they're fine, actually. - They're very nice. - Yeah. - No, I think there is, there are blackout windows and there are blackout. - I think it also depends on the car. - Yeah. - And also, don't forget, you're not allowed blackout windows on the front windows. - No. - That is illegal. - They do in some countries. - Yeah, I'll win America and it'll sweat absolutely. But in the UK, it is illegal. And I love it. Do you ever watch traffic cops? No, or interceptors? - No. - Or I love it when they pull over a tinted window person. And they peel a bit off. They pull a strip off their window so that they then have to remove the rest of it 'cause the police officers have ruined their window tint. - So they, so hang on. So they're pulling off what from the front? - Yes, what they do. - So it's a film, it's not actually a glass. - No, it's a film. - 'Cause I'm sure ours is glass, it's not a film. - No, it's a film, will you? - What? - It will be a film on the inside of the glass, yeah. - What? I thought it was a glass. - It will be installed by the manufacturer, I'm sure. But it will be a film. - Oh, I'm going to look at my windows when I go out. - Well, don't stop peeling. - No, I'm not going to peel, but I'm going to just touch the egg. - Make a terrible mess. - Give me my car back in a month anyway. But when they stop some young hooligan and they say, they get this special thing where they test the tint of the window. And if it's too dark, they then get their fingernail and they peel a bit off. And you see this, you know, young bloke look horrified that is tinted boy race a car now has been removed. - I don't understand why people really, I sort of get it for backup cars if you're being showed for the same thing for privacy. - Well, and it's very good for security as well. 'Cause sometimes there have been points where I've left something in the back of my car in the rear seats, you know, coach or something like that. And of course you can't see it through the window. - Yeah. - It's not there as an enticement to a would-be car thief. - Unless they shine a torch. - Unless they shine a torch, yeah. - Yeah. - But, you know, during the daytime hours, you can't see what's in the back. - No. - So, ahead of it could be going on in the back. - But isn't. - But isn't. - Lovely. - I'd better get that. I'd better get that. It's bound to be someone very important. - Welcome back, Bucketheads. We've been discussing windows and it's now time for your questions. So let's check out our heaving bags and post. Do remember if there's something on your mind that needs a luxury touch, postmanateluxurypodcast.co.uk is the place for your queries and your questions. Also, little reminder, you can watch all of these episodes on Patreon. If you join our luxury members club, head over to luxurypodcast.co.uk to join. - Lovely, and this first one is from Helen, Hello Beautiful Boys. I have a quandary. My partner and I live in a house that has large sliding glass doors along one side. Sometimes in a certain light it's tricky to see whether they're open or closed. One day recently, my partner walked straight into one of these glass doors. Unfortunately, I witnessed this and now I can't see him in a sexual way. - What? - [laughs] - Any suggestions as to how I can remove the image of his misfortune from my mind? What is also what's the best product for cleaning windows? I suffer with some ears, what I bet you do now. Lots of love from Slaggy Helen from Devon. - Slaggy, hello. - We had a neighbor once who liked to drink. This was many years ago when I was a child. My parents had a very boozy dinner party and he and his wife were invited. My parents had patio doors leading out into the garden. I remember he was a smoker and he'd obviously gone up from the table deciding he wanted to go and have a cigarette and he walked straight to the patio doors. You have never heard such a bag in your entire life and then the blood started, he completely broke his nose. There's blood gushing everywhere, he walked bang into it. - Oh wow. Okay. - It was very funny. [laughs] - He went and had a shower and you came back. - But it's amazing. - It's amazing how unattractive that makes someone. - Well, clearly, psyche Helen, does not, does not, does not. not find it attractive. I don't know how you get that at your mind. You're just going to have to sort of remember the good days. There is a technique though that you can use if you do have windows like that. You can buy some little kind of in different shapes or sizes or little strips of a kind of frosted film that you can put a eye level on the glass to make it look like decoration. Well, and it stops you, you know, your eyes recognize that there is actually a window that shut. It's interesting you save this because last week we were on holiday in Chicago. Mike, you know, not us, Mike and I were on the Lynch Cargo and we did one of our favorite things during Chicago, the architecture riverboat tour, which is fascinating because Chicago has got beautiful architecture. We walked around Chicago by the way saying Jonathan would love Chicago. It is like clean New York. Everyone is nice. It's pretty. It's got everything you want. All the positives about America and it's nice weather as well. It's right by the lake that feels like the seas if you want a bit of that. Anyway, you would like Chicago. I do have some virgin air miles I need to use. Right. Well, let me know and I'll come. We'll do, we'll do for you. I know you're coming with me. What? Oh, we're still. Let's pick at this wound again. Hang on a minute. So you want to, well, let's see. Well, you got, I'll use my British airways miles. Oh, you're going with a different airline. Yes. Oh, I haven't been virgin for a long time. Well, neither have I. Longer than me. That's longer, which is why I need to use these points. Yeah, they're drying up. No, but you, yeah, just tell me when you're going. Okay. I'll pop over. No, no, it's okay. Anyway, but in Chicago, there's a lot of buildings at glass now if it's sort of more modern building. Yeah. They have, they've just, they now design them in certain ways so that because they're on the flight path for the migration of birds, so that the birds don't constantly flying into the windows. And they, they literally, you can sit once you know, you can see it and some of them, yes, have those patterns on, but some are sort of mottled or are not sheer plate. Some are mirrored. I'm not sure if that particularly helps, but apparently the apple store, which is a beautiful Norman Foster and Suns designed store on, on the river, beautiful store, absolute death trap to birds, because they refuse to do anything about it. Oh, it's sheet glass. I mean, it is stunning to look at, but it's, it's a death trap. They'd rather see the birds die. Yeah, then adjust the architecture of their building. The Chicago architecture center have written to the numerous times to let them know what they could do about it. Oh, really? And apparently they're not doing anything about it. Oh, a bit of Chicago controversy. Yeah, juicy. Jank's been in touch. Oh, yes. He says, good day, chaps. I come to you as a luxury gold member in seek of arbiters for dispute. My wife and I are having. We're looking to move to a new house in the future and cannot agree on whether to have blinds or net curtains. We, we currently have net curtains in our bay window now, and it's very pond court-esque. And in my opinion, should have been left in the nineties. What are your luxury opinions on this matter, Jake? Blinds. Or she is. Or she is. Now, we haven't talked about the difference between Roman and Venetian blinds. I like a Roman blind. I think a Roman blind looks very smart. With the right window, small window. Can't have a Roman blind on a big window, can you? Yeah. So we are in our top bedroom. In fact, when, if you, you might be coming round at the weekend with your drill. Oh, yeah. We'll talk about this in half an hour and do a whole for you. Yeah. And several. Actually, I think it might need several. And, or you might just put several in. I was attempting to do one. I've not got very good aim. We're so new from a potato. So you can put it wherever you like. But in the top bedroom, we have a nice soft, soft edge Roman blind, which is really, it's very sheer actually that, but there is a Venetian behind it that can drop down to block the light. And that looks very nice. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. This is from Rushad. It doesn't start with the greeting. Just says, what's your opinion on blackout curtains or blinds? I cannot get a sleep without them. Well, I have had all of my curtains replaced with blackout curtains. Are you one of those that puts, I mean, as a child, I used to put blue tack over the LEDs on things like power chargers. No, it was not a speck of light. In fact, when I was a child, I didn't have any curtains in my bedroom. I didn't like curtains. So I would sleep with no curtains every night. Whereas now. Whereas now, I'm a sensitive old soul. And I do like my blackout curtains. And you see, I've gone the other way. I used to put, you know, as I say, blue tack out, I lived in the country. So there's no light from coming through. Whereas now live in the city, we have our shutters that we shut. But there is lights that comes through from time to time. And I'm not that fast. Yeah, you're getting all casual and relaxed. I don't want it light. Don't get me wrong. No, but I'm fine with it. A bit of a street light comes through. I have friends. We have friends, actually, who listen to this? Hello, they'll know who they are. I also actually discovered I had another friend who does exactly the same thing. Apps, everything is blackout, pitch black. And then they wear an eye mask. Oh gosh. Aren't they funny? That's quite, yes, that's quite tight. Actually, it makes me feel quite relaxed. Quite over the top. No, it, hello boys. And that would make, that would make my face hot. Yes, unnecessarily hot. I don't like something pressing down on my face at night. No. Yo Han has written to us, William. He says, dear William and Jonathan, I have a question about the correct luxury protocol when one's boutique hotel stages a burglary of one's own room through the window. Oh, my partner, now fiance, yes, gaze. And I was staying at a luxury boutique hotel in Canterbury when a power cut disabled the RFID lock to our room, rendering our key cards useless. This was inconvenient because we needed to get to our room to get ready for an imminent appointment to inspect some of Canterbury's luxury attractions. Our hotel manager, you're missing your words. Oh, our camp hotel manager, surely a friend of the podcast, arrived to assess the situation. After a few minutes of camp panicking, he fetched a tall ladder, climbed up the outside of the building to our room, proceeded to smash one of its pains, and then reached through the broken glass, opened it, and climbed into our bedroom, before letting us in from inside. It was less luxury boutique hotel and more low budget jewelry heist, but it worked. Unfortunately, the operation left shards of glass shattered across our luggage. To compensate us for the temporary conversion of our room into a crime scene, the hotel generously waived our parking charge. What? Done more than that. So William and Jonathan, what would have been the truly luxury solution here? A locksmith, a replacement suite, someone discreetly repacking our glass covered belongings while we toured the cathedral, and most importantly, does free parking adequately compensate for a hotel manager burgling your rooms on the burgling your room on the hotel's behalf. Yours from our room with a broken view, Johan and Adam. Wow. No, a free parking, I'd say, for the consumer hour. Yeah, that's not really acceptable. I would move the locksmith. Yeah, and then once you're in, 'cause presumably the lockdown won't work, or even if they had smashed in the window, you move if the hotel had space, move rooms, definitely. Yeah. And comp that night's day. Yeah. That's ridiculous. Oh, three part. What? 12 quid for all the hassle and the time you've wasted. And also, presumably, the windows just been smashed in. You're quite a breeze. What time of year was it? It was quite breezy. What are you doing then when you tried to go to sleep? Johan, I think you were being far too nice letting that off. Absolutely. But how fun are you? Complain retrospectively. And if you need someone to help, I know, a very good consumer journalist. Yes. Yes. Well, do you not, William? I think that's more than enough luxury for this week. What a fun episode. I genuinely, I didn't know what we were going to talk about today, but I've enjoyed every moment. I also think it's one of those episodes where I'm going to listen to it back and go. We didn't talk about this. We didn't even talk about window locks. Oh, security. We'll have to revisit windows, I think. I do love a multi-point. We'll leave it there for now. We will, of course, be back tomorrow for another luxury bonus episode. But until then, goodbye!