Will You Be My Work Wife? | Reading Reddit Stories

Support comes from wise, the smart way to manage the currencies you need around the world. Your life is global. Your money should be too. Some providers promise no fees on overseas transfers. Don't be fooled. Extra costs often hide and blow to exchange rates. Choose wise. You can send, spend, and receive money in over 40 currencies. Count on the exchange rate that you'd usually see on Google. That's how millions save billions on hidden fees. Be smart. Get wise. Visit wise.com. Tease and seize apply. Hello and welcome to Smoshreed's Reddit Stories. I'm Shane. And today's theme is co-workers. And I actually am genuinely joined by two of my co-workers. What? I get to actually like not be alive for one of these interviews. Not be alive. But not be alive. It's like sometimes, like I say silly ones all the time, but you are both legitimately my co-workers. And today's episode. My fidget will be my head phone. Oh! Look at you. You look like you're gonna tell us like the-- We'll come back to 101.1 the mix. The mix. You'd be a really good radio DJ, I feel it. That is so nice, Shane. Yeah, you'd tell it. Radio? Is that our next big venture? Well, Smoshreed, we're gonna go to radio. You know, we've been doing YouTube. Okay, drop out. We went to cable so we go to radio. Okay. Actually, it would be fun to have a radio. It would be so fun. It would be cool. Even if it's like a station on Spotify, it's like you just turn us on and we're live, like talking to you. I'd like to take a local station to just like one random town. Somewhere with like a population of 2000. We could do it to Oxnorn. Yeah? Oxnorn Radio. Oxnorn Radio. Anyways, you're both my co-workers. Yeah, and you're our co-worker too. Yeah. So. But, yes, that's how that works. You're not special. You're not that special. Okay, cool. I'm assuming we're gonna get a bunch of bullshit co-worker stories today. I've only worked, as people know, on sets and then it's Smosh. And Smoshre's the most normal job I've ever had. Which is pretty wise, but just pretty wise. It's us surprisingly normal. And there have been phases of Smosh throughout the years where it's been like an office job. Yeah. Like we had cubicles for a long time, like back in the day. And like, it's like, yes, I'm working with the cast, but I would go over and like hang out and talk to all the people working, all the like administrative jobs and learning how they do their job. And I'm working with them. And there's a kitchen. There's a lot of room. There's there's aspects that it's like an office job sometimes. But the nature of the actual work itself is very silly for the most part. You did a lot of service industry. A lot of service industry, mostly service industry. Did some catering, did nannying, worked at camps, a lot of camps. Nice, I wish I would did camps, that'd have been fun. And then I worked at a pharmacy for a long time, and then a play place. A play place? Yeah, it was like a wannabe chucky cheese, but there was no mascots. Like, it was like FNAF, but without the FNAF. I don't even know. That sucks. Devastating, anyway. But anyways, I feel like, so whenever we read these types of stories, I feel like I'm like a Martian reading about humans. So I get like a very outside perspective. Because I can't Google for two months. Two months. I feel like you've talked about this before. Yeah, wow. It was my first job out of college. Oh. It was Google Maps doing vertical integration on Google Maps. That's crazy. Whoa. Damn. Okay, jobs. All right, let's hop into our first story. This comes from today I fucked up. This was posted back in 2023. Today I fucked up by adding the Celeryman to the name of my friend on his resume, which he did not notice. What? My friend has a bad habit of not double checking or revising his work. Earlier in 2022, he asked me to look at his resume as he was looking to apply for new jobs. I said, "Sure." Let's say his name was Tom Henderson. I added the name to be Tom the Celeryman Henderson. I also added a bullet point to each of his positions in job experience that said, "Crunching and munching that Celery." Why did I do this? I did this as a joke, assuming he'd see it and remove the silly edits. When I gave him feedback on the resume, I asked him if he would be sure to make some revisions before sending it out. He said, "Sure." Well, he didn't. Not only that, but he never noticed the edits. It turns out, since April 2022, he has been sending out resumes with the Celeryman on the resume. He has good experience and has been frustrated all year how he got like no interviews. Oh! He actually had one initial call with a recruiter and was perplexed when the recruiter guy called him Celeryman. He had no idea what it meant, but just went along with it. Never got a second interview. Finally, before New Year's, he had a legit interview. They also made a Celeryman joke, which astounded him, and he asked why they made this reference. They told him it was all over his resume. He was mortified. He even told them he had no idea this was on there, but in doing so, it basically came out that he had never looked at his resume. He thinks this is the reason he didn't get the job. In any case, I had to confess to him I was the one who did this, but it had never been my intention that he would actually send it to jobs. I thought he'd have noticed it right away. Well, he's quite mad at me. He said I've made him the jackass to all of the New York City tech scene and that I went beyond all acceptable lines of pranking. I think he is overreacting a bit. I mean, it is just a silly prank, really, and how in the world does somebody not notice this for almost an entire year on their own resume? I am worried it might cost me this friendship, though, so I'm hoping to find a way to make it up to him. Okay. You got to look at your work. Look at your resume. You got to look at your resume. Especially if it's, I mean, I'm not trying to blame him wholeheartedly. Like, it really sucks that someone did that to his resume and he was just trusting his friend when he was proofreading it. Like, you know, he was trusting his friend. He was like, make sure to make some revisions. And he said, for sure. But I feel like when he gave it to his friend to check, it's like, the friend should have been like, hey, it's a celery man all over your-- Like, I think that's what the friend would have expected. I think it's also like, it says it right in the title, like, in between your name. Like, he would have opened the documents. Yeah. And the fact that it's like, if you were getting-- you were struggling for so long, if I was in that position, I'd be like, damn, maybe I got to fix my resume or something. Like, maybe the way I wrote it isn't good. Yeah. There's always so many hacks online of like, how to make your resume work for the jobs you apply for. Right. So, yeah, I'm like, shocked. And I don't think the guy did it as to like, trip him up or to sabotage him. I think it was a cute little bit that didn't get caught. It's a funny little bit. Yeah. It was a funny little bit. But lost wages. I mean, it's not a brand that's like-- It's like, you didn't have a job for a whole year. But it's not like, oh, I didn't have a whole job-- for a whole year because of him. It was that he-- for that entire year didn't look at his resume. Yeah. Just when he-- It kind of does reflect on him. Deep back, he said, look at the edit before you send it. Yes. Yeah. No, it's on the guy. Like, if you're going to have a friend edit your resume and not look at it, you're being a little lazy there. Especially if he told you to look at it. Yes. And you said you would. Absolutely. I was going to say instead of-- instead of Celery Man, he should have had Tane, and then had been like, oh, show me nude Tane. Neither of you are getting this reference. That's what is that, the freaking-- the-- the-- What? What's his name? It's the Paul Rudd sketch. The Paul Rudd sketch. It's like, it's Celery Man. Yeah. It's like, show me Celery Man. And then-- Yeah. Oh, is that the reference? Have you never seen this? No, yes, I've seen that. Paul Rudd sketched for many times. Oh, I can't see what love this shit. It's so good. It's very good. It's weird as hell. It's just like-- No, Celery Man. And thank God it was something like innocent, and not like-- Something innocent. Not like Tom Fuckface Henderson. Right, like, Tom's sexual harassor-- Yeah, the sexual harassment. Yeah, the sexual harassment. The sexual harassment. It's harmless, and it's like-- Super hunting, munching on some celery. That's good. Part of me thought, like, as this story was progressing, I'm like, is he going to get a job because of it? 'Cause it'll like you like your vibe, man. It's like a icebreaker. It's like a silly thing that if only he had known about it, he couldn't have leaned into it when they brought it up, and like, yeah, I just love celery. I love being healthy. I got good discipline. How refused those recruiters had to be when they're like, "Oh, yeah, celery, man." And he was like, "What are you talking about?" Or someone who's playing was like, "Hey, celery, man." And he goes, "Oh, yeah." Then I'm like, "What?" Yeah, sorry. I don't-- I don't-- I don't do that. I don't go by the name anymore. Okay, that's my father name. That's my father name. But then also, if he applied to Smosh, I think it would do well. You'd do gangbusters. I think it would do really well. The people who handle the hiring at Smosh are about to see so many celery resumes come through. Okay, okay. Don't be original. Be original. I'm not mad at OP, but if I pulled a prank like that and my friend made no reference to it, I'd been like, "Did you see?" I would just be kind of like, because I want to know what he thought of my joke. Yes, I agree. I like a day or two later, I'd be like, "Hey, man, you haven't said anything." I want to perform-- It's okay if you don't mind. It's okay if you didn't like the joke. Do you have notes for my jokes that I put in to your resume? There was a really weird time at speaking of performance reviews. We've changed leadership here a couple times. And there was a good section of Smosh when I first started where we were getting performance reviews, which is such a weird thing to be like, "This is a job and now I'm getting performance reviews on actual performance." Yeah. And I'm like, "Is it going to affect my pay?" Like if I don't if I'm not funny enough right it was so I've never gotten creative feedback in a corporate way. In a corporate way. No, it's not. In an email. Yeah. That's why Smoshit, I think, has always been the strangest job I've ever had because it is like a bunch of incredibly creative eccentric even on our best days. Like, creative, kooky people, theater people, all into a corporate, like, office set, like it is so-- Yeah, it's weird. It's an interesting little mix of it all. Comments? That's both hilarious. And you should have brought it up to him maybe a week or two later to make sure he was aware of it, tops. Never following up with the aftermath, especially if you fail to notice him ever mentioning it to you is not good. A week or two, maybe sent out to a couple companies would have been funny. A year, almost, of its gone past the fail. Yeah. Yeah, he let it go on too long without checking in. Yeah. Someone said, always work on collaborative documents with track changes on. Then it will be harder to mischanges other people make. Someone said, or, you know, just double check your resume before sending. Yeah. Yeah, because if it's that big at the top, I mean, broad. Yeah. It's the title. It's literally. Someone said, my boss would toss resumes with spelling errors. Not enough time to run a spell check, not good enough to work in his medical clinic. Yeah. Fair. Someone said, I act in community theater, comedy, storytelling, et cetera. So I have my own resume for all my credits. I also have my work resume because I'm not at the point where the money I make for entertainment is enough to quit yet, hopefully soon. But I was applying to office jobs with my actor resume for like three months because somehow I switched the names of the files. Eventually, one company replied and was like, very cool, but I think you sent us the wrong thing. I was mortified. She understood and I sent the correct one and fixed the file names. I got that job. Wow. Okay. You're vigilant. Yeah. And in the actor world where like some things you need actor resumes for like theater and musical theater, usually you'll need a resume. Yeah. Unless you're like now a lead role in Broadway where it's like your resume is how famous you are. Yeah. They're aware of your work. Yes. The resume is out there kind of and a lot of actors are that way too for like streaming things. Yeah. I know who this is because I was blah blah blah blah blah. Here I come. Next story comes from Am I the asshole? Am I the asshole for stealing my co-workers dream honeymoon? This is fucked. They told you what their dream honeymoon was and then you went and did it. Well, but if you didn't do it at the same time, but how much did you do it? But how much? How hard did you get? How hard did you do their honeymoon? And before they did it. I have a coworker who loves being engaged. She's the quintessential typical bride to be. She has her wedding plan to the smallest detail and talks about it all the time. She's the type to share mood boards and swatches with us during lunch. This isn't something that bothers me, but I wanted to paint a picture for context. I actually like talking to her about her wedding. The issue that recently came up was that she was sharing with us about her honeymoon destination. It's a cute seaside city and honestly I thought it sounded great. I shared it with my husband and we decided that we'd love to take a vacation like that too. Because of our itinerary, we decided to visit a different, but very similar city in the same country. Think San Diego versus Santa Barbara if you're in America. When I came back from my trip, my coworkers were excited to see pictures and hear about the trip and I shared some chocolates that I brought back as well. The entire time my coworker was kind of icy and I finally found out it was because she thought I stole her idea for a vacation. She said that since I've gone on a similar vacation, I've stolen the magic of coming back to talk to our coworkers about it. Even though it's a different place, she says it was similar enough and that it was kind of shitty for me to take the attention when she's been planning on her trip for a long time. I personally don't feel like I did anything wrong since we went to a different city and did different activities than what my coworker talked about. She likes sporty things like hiking, whereas I visited museums and dined out more. But she's so upset she's talking about changing the destination of her honeymoon entirely. So I feel like I'm missing something. Please let me know if I'm the asshole in case I need to apologize. You know what this reminds me of? I will never forget. I was going to a restaurant with friends in high school and we were going around ordering what we were going to eat at the restaurant and I ordered something and my friend looks at me and goes, "Oh." And I was like, "What?" and she's like, "I was going to order that. You heard me talking about it." I was like, "You can order it too." What? And she was like, "I'm just going to get something else." And I was like, "What?" And she's like, "I guess I'll just, I'll get what? I'll get that." And then she get ordered the same thing and I was like, "What is going on?" It was like, "You've used food like the Highlander." She's like, "No, there can only be one." There can only be one, but it's exactly the type of thing. I think it's kind of like a fun moment when you're with a group and you people order the same thing. You get that too? Yes. Yes. But this is even weirder in that it's not even the same thing. It's not the same thing. And it's not the same thing. Or inspired to go on a vacation. I thought it was going to be like, "Oh, she stole her hotel room or something." Yeah, I thought it was like stealing for a temporary doing all the same stuff, like taking the same opportunities. A part of me would almost be stoked. I'd be like, "Great. Someone went and like test drove and said, "Oh, that's a great vacation spot." Like, hell yeah, I don't have to worry about it being a scam or not turning up. It's like someone going to the Eiffel Tower and being like, "Oh, I can't go now. You already went." You went to the Eiffel Tower. You did it. No, but it's like I'm going to go to Paris, but I just found out there's other people already there. Yeah, but it's not even weirder where it's like, "Oh, you're going to Italy, now I can't go to France." Yeah. Like, hello? Yeah. They're not even, they didn't even go to the same city or do the same things. This person feels like they're like, you know, with the wanting to share so much of the wedding planning, like loving being the center of attention and having their unique experience that everyone wants to know what their experience is. And so now that everyone is excited to see OP's experience at this thing, she feels like the attention's off her and is being so stubborn about it that she needs to start from scratch on her honeymoon. Which is insane. She admits like, "Oh, you took away like I wanted attention from being able to come back and talk about it." It seems like that was her number one priority. She doesn't actually give a shit about her fiance and the actual trip. She's more excited about coming back and talking about it. Which I don't like, I personally don't like talking about a trip after I go on it. I like going on the trip. Yeah. But then to re, like. No, I literally, I agree with you so passionately, but I hate having to do that. I'm like, I'm recapping you and like, what things do I, I don't know. It's just like, it's a weird stressor for me that I'm like interested in. It's so weird. I don't really want to. It's like working. It's like hard work. I just, like when we went to Japan, I'd be like, "How was Japan?" I just wanted to go, "Good, it was good. That's all I wanted to say. I really agree with you." Yeah. It was cool. It was Japan. That is so funny. Yeah. But I do think it kind of like sums up what I think things are for a lot of people now. Is people are not excited about the actual thing anymore. They're excited to tell people or show people the thing. Which is, it's attention is okay. It's okay to want attention. Like everyone deserves attention. But you're getting engaged. You're getting married. You're going on a honeymoon, like I on the prize of what's actually fun here. What's like the number one most exciting thing and she does not see it. She's going to change her honeymoon so that she can tell her co-workers about it. Like how lame is that? If I'm her fiancee, she comes home and she goes, "We have to change our entire honeymoon." It's like why? It's like, "Well, because Nancy and finances wins with close city." I'd be like, "We're not getting married." I'd be like, "There's something so similar to in that. When I go on trips, I am very much like not on my phone a lot. I'm not taking a lot of pictures. I'm not taking a lot of videos." It's like, "I'm like in the moment doing the things that I'm doing." And then I sometimes don't regret it where I'm like getting back and I'm like, "Oh, I want a post." And I'm like, "I have, I'm really bad at putting pictures." Yeah, I will pick it. That's not what I did the trip for. I did the trip to work. I did the trip or didn't do the trip to share it with people. I did the trip to experience it myself. Courtney can attest. I'm horrendous about taking photos. Yeah. I'll be like, "That's the coolest thing I've ever seen." And I will not, like I- Cheers. I'm going to ask you to not take photos. The cooler something is, the less likely I'm to take a photo. Because what is your photo going to do? Mm-hmm. Yeah, I mean, it's like, I can Google that thing and see a photo. Escape shots. Yeah, for sure. Who was that celebrity who was on a talk show recently? He was like, "I saw someone take an iPhone photo on the top of Mount Everest." He's like, "I shouldn't be able to see that." He's like, "You." This person climbed over dead bodies to get over to the top of his smell. You're so right. Mm-hmm. To get there. And I can see it from my living room. Yeah, keep it going. Keep it going. Yeah, keep it going. What I do like to take photos of, the best thing to take photos of are like mundane little silly things. Because you can't Google that. Mm-hmm. You think Google it? I'm not going to take a photo of like, you know, some famous temple or something in Japan. I'm like, "Go Google that." It's so is, I do love like a picture of like a coffee table and what's on the coffee table in that moment. Mm-hmm. Yeah, mundane photos are the best, I think. Yeah, but I think what I was saying about the co-worker and attention is like, this OP doing this thing doesn't take away from her attention. I think everybody deserves attention. Just know that there is unlimited attention eventually. Yeah. And not worrying about someone doing something similar to you like. I wonder what would have happened if she did do the exact the same thing as this honeymoon plan. Like I'm like, I just feel like the reaction was very big. - Yeah, oh, absolutely, it's definitely a lot. She needs to add an air of mystery too, and people in her co-workers are gonna find that more interesting. - I'm also the type of like, I think Marcus recommended a hotel to us, and then we went and I'm obsessed with it, and it's like now my personality trait, and like I'm telling everybody about it, like I'm the one who invented it or something, but it's like, I love when people impact each other, and it's like, oh, I love that thing that you do, I now do it every day. - I love when people like, go to some place that we've talked about. I get a little nervous 'cause I'm like, I hope they like it. - Yeah. - Like, I hope it was good, 'cause I'll be sad if they go and they're like, that's something to be like, oh yeah, for sure. - Okay, you guys can drop places right now, you can drop one place, one thing. - Oh, we know. - I've got one, Audi Nocle in Mexico City. - Ooh. - It's like, I'll describe it as the in and out of tacos in Mexico City. - Oh. - It's amazing. - I've got chills. - Yeah. - Hell yeah. - Go try it. - Yum. - I'm not gay, keep me up. - Okay, go. - Wow. - When you're in Mexico, it's all good. - Wow. - Oh, yum, yum, yum. - Yeah, I'm excited. I'm driving there now. - What? - Getting in my car. - I'm leaving. - I'm driving. - No, no, no, shame. Okay. Verticked, not the asshole. - Oh, comments. - I forgot about this. - Right, right, right. - We're reading Reddit stories. Someone said, not the asshole. A severe main character syndrome, someone responded to that saying, this. You didn't even go to the same town. Even if you did, that's like trying to call dibs on Bolly or Fiji. - Whoa. - Someone said, my wife and I recently traveled to Japan, upon my return to the office, I spoke about the trip. At least four people said Japan was at the top of their bucket list. Their dream destination. None of them got upset. I had visited there. No one owns a destination when it comes to travel. - Right. - Literally, at Smosh, someone is always in Japan. - That's true. - Someone is always there. - At any given time, someone is in Japan. - Yeah, boots on the ground. - I think Selena's in Japan right now. I think Arosha's in Japan right now. She's back. - Ian might still be there. - Ian tagged back. Selena went in. We always have someone in Japan. - One pair of boots on the ground. - At any given time, someone from Smosh is in Japan. Just wait for Smosh Japan. - Smuppan. - I didn't know he recognized me in Japan. They were not watches. - Anybody who did recognize you was a tourist from Australia. - Yeah, there's a lot of those. - Yeah, yeah, a lot of us. - There's a lot of fans. - I love our fans in Australia. - Someone said, wait, she's choosing her honeymoon destination based on how she can talk about it later instead of how it would feel with her fiance in the moment. That's messed up. She's planning a wedding, but not a marriage. - Dana, to all of them. (laughing) - Not the asshole, a well-adjusted person would be happy to have been an inspiration. - Yeah. - I mean, yeah, weird. - Yeah. - Weird. - Weird. - Our next story. This is posted in 2020. It's comes from Tales from the Front Desk. - Tales. - Oh, he writes, "I invented a coworker. I usually work the afternoon shift three to 11, so I get a lot of calls asking about reservations and check-ins. One night, I got a call from a man asking about our availability. I informed him we did have openings that evening and that I could make a reservation for him. I asked for his name and credit card number to reserve. He gave me a reward number. Then he started cutting out since he was driving. I tried to explain that I needed more information and especially a credit card to reserve the room, but he kept cutting out until the line went dead. Well, the hotel wasn't particularly busy, so I decided to put a room on hold for him. I thought that since he was driving, he would arrive in about 30 minutes. He doesn't show up, so I released the room and go back to work. When I have about 20 minutes left in my shift, guess who shows up? He says that a woman over the phone reserved his room. Now, I have to point out that I am a man. I have a higher pitched voice and it is exacerbated over the phone. Now, the guest is upset about not having a reservation and I've got 20 minutes left and I'm not in a mood to deal with him. I tell him, Susan must have been talking to him but her shift ended hours ago. We still had rooms, so I made a reservation for him and checked him in. He still seemed angry, so I typed up a note about him and emailed it to my co-workers so they would be aware. Next day, I go to my manager's office first to get pass-alongs and information about the day. She walks out first and I follow her to the front desk and guess who's there. Since my manager was in front, she addressed him first before I could get there. He says that I'm not mad. Always a red flag whenever that gets said. But I want to know what woman was working here last night. My manager is a little confused but says that she will check the schedule. She clearly hadn't seen my note yet. So I jump in and say, as I said last night, Susan was working yesterday but today is her day off. No one named Susan has ever worked at the hotel and my manager slowly turned away from the guest to look at me in a, what are you talking about face that the guest thankfully cannot see. My co-workers behind me, who did read my notes, had to contain their laughter. The guest accepted this and left. I then had to gather everyone and have them stick to the story. To this day, that guest thinks Susan was responsible. - You got a room anyway. - Yeah, what are you even at the front for? - What the hell? - You already spent the night, what do you want? - I need to talk to Susan. - I don't get people who just can't let shit like that go. Like, I'll be mad about something but I'm like, yeah, well, there's nothing that's gonna be done now. And it's also like, you got a room. You got a room, it was fine. - You just came out of the room that we gave you a room and just came down to say, I'm not mad, but-- - I'm not mad. - What, I love the barrier of information. Do you know what I mean? I love that they could make up a coworker to avoid conflict and everything was okay. And nobody was harmed in the making of this information coworker. - No, I think every place should make up a coworker. - The fall guy. - Like, 'cause we don't have fake coworkers. We have Sadie who, like, people just kind of don't remember a lot of times, but it's hard to forget Sadie. It's hard to forget Sadie. - There's a dream. - Sadie's the best. - Republican, but-- (laughing) - Say it again. - Hey, hey, hey, hey. (laughing) - Listen! - She's actually really nice. - She's really nice. - And I'm surprised. - She's surprisingly nice to me. - She's Republican, she's Scientologist. - Oh, I hate to meet everything you just said. - She's both a rare combo. - Somehow a combo. - I don't understand what this guy would have said if he did learn of Susan. Like, like-- - What do you want? - What do you want? - What do you want, Susan? Leave Susan alone. - What does he want? - He just wants to-- - He just wants to hurt someone. - Wanted to be superior. - Um, comments? I read something similar a while back. I think at a pharmacy, basically, when any customer was mad about something, especially unjustified, but didn't have a name, the employee would ask if it was anesthesia. The customer usually agreed and was then informed that anesthesia had been let go for cause, pulled their fangs. Someone said, "I invented a whole planning department for clients that wouldn't agree with the news that their project couldn't be finished earlier. I really did my best with my colleagues at the planning department, but unfortunately, it cannot be done." While people are lying out there, but hey, for shitty customers-- - To protect themselves. - To do it. - Especially, I worked at a pharmacy and there's so many bits of information and complicated things about pharmaceuticals and getting your medicine that, like, they just get mad at you, whoever's in front of them. - Yeah. - And it's just such a nightmare. - It's interesting to see, like, when controlling people meet, like, a wall, that they can't control, and they just cannot handle it. - Yeah. - At the airport, every time you're at the airport, you're gonna see someone doing it. - Isn't it, yeah. - I think I talked about this, but I saw on, I think it was Facebook at the time, but I saw on Facebook how someone were like, "Was the manager on the shift?" And so did the turnaround. I'm the manager on the shift when they want to talk to them. And I worked at a restaurant in college and I tried it and it did not go well. - Oh, really? - I had the manager. - Like, I was like, "Can we get to talk to the manager?" And I was like, "Yeah, one second." And then you turn back around and he was like, "Hey, how can I help you?" They did not go well. They looked up the owners, they called them, and they were like, "That was not funny." It was like-- - I'm back, Joe. - I think my view on these things is no matter how, even unless I'm being robbed of money from this business or something, I'm like, "You're just wasting your time." Like, people will spend hours, days. Like, I'm like, "Do you not want your life back? Do you not want to go do something fun instead?" It is, like, God. - So trivial. And it's like, move on, put your energy elsewhere. - Yeah. - You're gonna lose, like, how many years of your life are you gonna lose throughout your entire life from just following all this petty bullshit? One more comment. About a week after Chris was fired, I was wearing his shirt with his name patch and got a little jerky with a customer. Customer came back the next day to complain and I hid in the office laughing while the manager told them that Chris had been fired. Someone replied, "But why were you wearing Chris's clothes?" The original commenter replied to that, "I ran out of shirts and there was a whole pile of his, they were rented from a uniform company." - Ah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Right. - Chris is part of move. Where one of your co-workers name tags? - Yeah. - And then the crimes. - That's why it's sometimes on podcast episodes, if I feel like I'm not being very funny. I'm just like, by the way, I'm Amanda. (laughing) - That's awesome. - For our audio listeners, I'm Amanda. And then they think Amanda's the one who's not funny. - Yeah. - Got 'em. - Got 'em. - Our next story comes from Am I the asshole? Am I the asshole for refusing to help my coworker paint his new house in work clothes. - Huh? - Okay, so I, a 27 year old man, have a friend from work, the 31 year old man. We've known each other only about two years but have gotten fairly close. When I moved to a condo a few months ago, he helped me paint and I've been meaning to help repay him the favor on a house that he just bought. Things keep popping up and we're in a busy season at work. We're both teachers and it's middle of the year testing period. So I have admittedly been pushing it off. Anyway, last Friday he asked me if I wanted to stop by after work and see the house. He doesn't live there yet so it would be mostly empty but I could finally get a look at it and then we could grab dinner and drinks in the area. I say that's great. He drives and I'm immediately taken aback that the house is further than I thought. He had said about an hour away but it ended up being close to a two hour drive with traffic. I'm trying to enjoy seeing the house but I'm immediately stressed because I'm realizing that this is going to be a massive out of the way in convenience to do after work. He can't do weekends as that's when he has custody of his kid. I see that the paint is already brought and I say since I'm already out here, why don't we do it now? He had already prepped the place to be painted and he seemed into the idea. That way I wouldn't have to do a whole other trip. The issue was I was wearing fairly nice work clothes that I didn't want to mess up so I asked if it was cool if I just wore my undershirt and boxers. He looked at me like I was crazy. He said if I didn't want to do it, just don't do it but please don't make dumb excuses. I felt taken aback because I didn't think it was unreasonable to not want my clothes to get dirty. I ended up not painting because he wasn't into the idea and I just went home. At it, since everyone's asking, he had no stuff at his house. He was also planning on traveling back that night. He hadn't moved yet. It's like, hey man, can I just get naked? Well, it's like, let me just get a little naked, man. It's also just like, that's kind of when it's, or didn't it say if they were gay or anything? No, I'm assuming no. But it's just like, I don't think that. I don't even think it doesn't matter. I would think I would just be like, okay, I'm gonna do it in my boxers so I don't get it on my pants. It's not a thing. But the way he's writing that the guy, the guy took it as like, oh, you don't want to do this. Okay, fine. You can just go. Like, oh, you're trying to come up with this. Yeah, it doesn't sound like they're like communication was very like direct or just overall good. If he couldn't go, no, no, I want to do this. I just, I really want to keep my clothes nice. And like, being in an undershirt in boxers, I'm sorry. That doesn't sound like, like. That sounds like crazy. That's a full-on outfit. Yeah, that's a full-on outfit. Yeah. Like, I see girls wearing that to Coachella. Like, you know, I mean, I guess the guy is allowed to, like, 'cause it was OP's pitch to paint it then so that he can put another two-hour trip to Coachella. And OP also said, like, I was trying to enjoy seeing the house but was stressed so it was like, okay, clearly OP was maybe putting out bad vibes. Like, just stressed in general about the whole situation. And it's not like the friend, the coworker, was down to paint it. Yeah, it was down to paint it. But then when he was like, oh, can I take off my clothes? I'm just being a teacher in boxers to paint this. Then he got weirded out. I will also say a lot of people have trouble asking for help and asking for favors, especially. And they feel really guilty. And like, they're a burden for asking for a favor. And so then they're like, oh, you're probably looking for any excuse to get out of me being a burden here. That's kind of my assumption here, but I don't know. Verticked, there's no official one, but comments leaning towards not the asshole with a few everyone sucks here. Comments, no one's an asshole. I think your title is misleading though. You proposed to paint right then, but in your underwear because neither of you had a change of clothes and you didn't wanna ruin yours. That was a reasonable proposal and it was also reasonable for him to decline and prefer to do it later when you were both better prepared. Someone said not the asshole, you were basically kidnapped. If he had everything set up already, he knew what he was going to do when he asked you over. The least he could do was offer you a change of clothes if he didn't give you a chance to pack something appropriate. 5,000 upvotes. - I don't think he was, I think that maybe they're assuming because they think that they rode together and this, oh, he didn't have a car to get back. - Did he? - He's stuck there without anything to do. - Oh, I guess if they rode together. - If I was in the situation. - But did we don't know that they rode together, right? - We don't. I think that to assume this person's being held hostage and being kidnapped to check out a house is a bit extreme. But I think if I was in the situation, I'd go, hey, let's go run to CVS and get those cheap t-shirts and pants. - Sure. - And so then we can-- - There's so many fixes to this problem. - There's like $5 shirts and $6 pants at CVS or something. - Yeah. - But-- - Where are Mumu? - Get some Mumu's. - Yeah, get a Mumu. - I love Bumu and a Mumu. - La Bumu and a Mumu. - It is, it is. - I love Bumu and a Goo Goo Dolls Mumu. - And not you. - I knew La Bumu and a Goo Goo Dolls Mumu. - I knew, I knew La Bumu and a Goo Goo Dolls. - I knew La Bumu and a Goo Goo Dolls. - Wow. - Oh, wait, you gotta say what I mean. - God, that's hard. - Nope. - He didn't do it right. - No. - A new La Bumu and a Goo Goo Dolls Mumu. That's hard. Okay, with new tongue, please don't look, do you want to try? - Yeah. - A newly? - You just, you couldn't even say one word. - All right. (laughing) - Someone said, I had a coworker like that except instead of helping him paint, he wanted help moving. He made it sound like he had a crew of multiple friends that would be helping that everything was packed and ready to load into a U-Haul and that the distance between the two places was close. False. First, there was no U-Haul. There was his new boyfriend who had a compact car and an elderly female friend that is a hoarder so she was basically unpacking things and standing in the pathways. So the transportation was my SUV, the compact car and his sedan. The distance between the places was two hours. He had no food or even water for us. There were two dogs who were not trained and pee pads everywhere. Everything in both places was dirty and gross. - Whoa! - Damn. - Did you sign up for hell? - Yeah. - I'm out. - No. - He signed up for a tough mutter. They continue on. Hardly anything was packed and the furniture was not taken apart. My husband, who didn't even know him, did the best he could to fit what he could in the vehicles. We agreed to do one trip to the new place and then my husband and I went out to eat and went home. Never again. Damn, they had more of a story than Opedan. (laughing) - Like we almost painted, but not really is that. - Yeah. One time I almost helped my buddy paint, but then we didn't. (laughing) My ex, his friend, needed to move. And it was like one unit over in the same building, but was completely not packed. - Oof. - And it was also my ex's birthday that day. And we were like, well, he really wanted this friend to come to his birthday thing that we arranged. But he needed to help his friend move in order to have him cut. It was just so weird. And I was just kind of there. And that was the first time I heard Post Malone. - Oh, okay. (laughing) - Moving is the worst. - Moving is rough. I just moved and I did a pretty good job of it. I'm not gonna lie. - Yeah. - I was quick. I was quick, I was fast and I was organized. - Yeah. - Wait, is that also like ready to leave that apartment? - Sure. - That feeling. - That feeling. So I was like, I know exactly where. And as soon as I got to the new space, I was like, I know where everything's going already. - Cool. - Nice. - That's awesome. - You were cooking, you were nesting. - My mom, after the divorce, my mom moved like every year for years. And then when I started living on my own, I kind of did that because jobs change and things get better or worse, whatever. And I just, I got very good at packing up and moving and getting unpacked very fast. - Same. I was that way for a long time. - Yeah. - Oh yeah. Military brought, turn after. - Well, yeah. Well, I only remember one move as a kid, but for many years, I moved to a different apartment for like five straight years. - It's kind of fun. - Point. - I hated it. I had like super light, cheap furniture. I was like, whenever I would buy furniture, I was like, what's the lightest thing I can buy? So I can move it super easily. - Hey, what do you have all those muscles for? Why? - Yeah, what do those muscles do? - They don't do anything. - The hammer. - The hammer muscles. - Not couch muscles. - He can't move a couch, but he can move your feelings. - Okay. It's working. - It's working. - All right, let's move on to our next story. This was posted in, what is this, May of 2020? That was a rough time. - That's a tough time. - That was a tough time. I was in Nashville at that time. This comes from, am I the asshole? Am I the asshole for demanding my fiance tell his co-workers that he will not be renewing his vows with his work wife when they return to the office? What the fuck? What is happening? - Okay. - What is happening? - My fiance, Mark, works closely with a woman, Megan. They both have similar responsibilities and need to work together as a team. I've never had any problems with this. They don't really interact outside of work. We have been working from home the last several weeks. I happened to be in the living room with him yesterday while his office had their weekly Zoom meeting. During that meeting, people began talking about what they wanted to do when everyone returned to the office. I could hear someone say that my fiance and Megan must really miss each other. Several other people began referring to them as a work wife and work husband. Then someone suggested that my fiance and Megan should renew their vows when everyone is back in the office. Mark just played a long and joke that they would be registered at Office Depot. I left the living room in tears while he continued. oblivious to how I was feeling. I confronted him after the call and said I felt humiliated. Our wedding was supposed to be in September, but we've had to postpone it, and it's not clear when it will be safe to reschedule. And here he is talking about renewing his vows with someone from work. Mark explained that it was just a joke and not a big deal. He tried to show me some joke article his office had been passing around about how teleworking is ruining work-wife relationships. I said the term work-wife itself is offensive and humiliating because I'm supposed to be his wife. I demanded that at his next meeting he needed to publicly apologize to his office and tell them that he will not be renewing his vows with Megan because he is engaged to marry someone else. I said he also needs to tell his office that they need to stop calling him and Megan work spouses. He says he can't do that because it will be embarrassing and hurt his reputation at work with his colleagues. I said, Oh, is it hard to feel embarrassed? I would never know what that's like. He called me an asshole. Now that I've cooled down a little, I need to figure out if I overreacted. Well, it's a bit much. It's a bit much. This is one where our job being so silly goofy. It's hard for me to relate and understand. The concept of that gets thrown around by our fans and stuff so much of obviously talking about us that I'm like, whatever, I don't think we don't think anything of it. But if you're working a very different type of job, like an office corporate job and someone's referring to someone as a work-wife, it's like, I understand why people probably feel really weird about it, especially this woman is so insecure because they've had to postpone their wedding. So she's in her feelings about a lot of stuff. So that gets brought up. Now, it wasn't her fiance himself saying like, Oh, we got to renew our vows. It's someone else saying it. Yeah. But it's weird. I also think he's not reacting like she's really messed up from this and he's being like, Oh, it's not a big deal. I think the work-wife thing, I feel like when we joke about it, it's very ironic because I feel like work-wife ties into the same terminologies of like when a workplace goes like, we're like a family here. Totally. And it's a little bit too, like, nasty, a little bit too unhealthy of a workplace. So like, but it sounds like if an article is going around and a group of people who are going through a pandemic together are working together and are making jokes about the work-wife because you know, sometimes a bit just keeps running to the point where it would not make sense to a newer person. Right. Like, I'm sad that this fiance, the OP feels just the right amount of insecure about their relationship that this is affecting her so much, you know. I think the demand of you need to publicly apologize to your entire office and say to some like, that's a lot. Yeah. That's a that's a lot when what she needs is just assurance from him. Yeah. That they are secure in their relationship and that this is nothing like. I also, yeah, I totally get that and I think that there is something so playful about work-wife and then there's a point where it goes too far. Yeah. And there's like vows doing the vows and like, what is happening here? What is renewing them? Like, was their vows at one point? Yeah, was there a wedding? I don't know about this. I think she could have offered to be like, oh, I can just like start chatting on the work-wife thing. Like, it is a little inappropriate. Right. And also, he could have just really like taken that moment too because clearly she was not feeling very validated in their relationship and just isn't. She's talking about how like insecure she was about that they're postponing their wedding and stuff. He could have just taken that moment to really be like, hey, like, yeah, I know. You are my fiance. I'm so excited to be like married to you. It's like, you are my person, but he's just kind of playing it off like casually. Yeah. And in playing off the work-wife thing, he's also kind of playing off her emotion. Yeah. So she's probably feeling dismissed. I think it just, it's not one of those situations where I'm like, oh, you guys, one of you is an asshole. It's more where I'm like, you guys are not on the same page. Clearly, there's insecurity and like something going on here that you need to talk through. The verdict was everyone sucks, which is maybe I guess like the closest to what I would agree with. Because it's not that I think like no one's the asshole. There's nothing going on here. I'm like, there's there's a problem going on. But they are in the middle of lockdown. It's it's May. So it's been those couple months. So they're at the peak of life. It's the worst. Really spirally. Yeah. Nobody's in a good place. A lot of MakerBake relations. So I think like given that. But I also think clearly there's there's just a lot going on in this relationship. Yeah. Like she deserves more validation if she's, you know, she's feeling for something like this. Um, comments. Someone said, everyone sucks here. I think the whole work-wife thing is disrespectful and silly. But you did over react to what was obviously a joke. He's not literally going to be renewing his vows with anyone or registering an office depot and forcing him to tell everyone that they need to stop calling him in Megan workspouses is going to make a mountain out of a mole hill and give everyone the impression that you're a difficult person. Just ask him to stop joking about it. O P said, no, they were actually planning out how to do it. Like where in the office to hold the ceremony and reception, etc. My fiance was fully on board planning. Meanwhile, I have to nag him constantly to help me reschedule our actual wedding plans. Someone said, in that case, not an asshole for asking that. He don't go through with it. But it would be embarrassing for him to publicly apologize and say he wouldn't go through with it in front of everyone. Maybe ask him to talk to Megan separately and tell her it's only a joke and won't be doing a ceremony. Yeah. Hearing that, I'm like, that's embarrassing. Publicly apologize. Is this not also embarrassing to have like a public renewing the vows thing at work with your work? I'm like, I know it feels weird. I just feel like, what the hell is this? No, like your adults, like your grown adults, we don't. Yeah. That is confusing. I mean, that's sad that that he's like, it sounds like they were just doing bits and I want to assume that it was like, oh, they're riffing or like, oh, we'll do it in the break room next to the water cooler that we always like. Yeah. But so she interpreted that like, and that's me. That's putting the bed a bit of the doubt on him. They were, yes, standing each other and she took it as, no, they were actually doing it. Yeah. But, you know, even if it was like, they're going to do this as a bit, as a, like, that hurts if she's feeling like pulling teeth when she's trying to play a real wedding. Yeah, it's just like a lot going on. Someone said, you're the asshole. It sounds like they were just joking. Demanding that he tells everyone that he's engaged sounds pretty controlling. If they bring it up again, then he can say that he's engaged so he can't be married again. But what you're asking is a little much. Someone else said, it sounds like you have more issues than this. You say you have to nag him about planning the wedding and you clearly have some insecurity around his faithfulness if the joke upsets you so much. Getting married will not solve these issues. Perhaps it might be wise to try couples counseling before your wedding. I'm sorry. I'm still blaming this on COVID. Like, you were, I was unwell. Yeah. Oh, it's prime time. It is bad time. Prime unwell time. Yeah. Questioning everything. No, the world is in shit. It is. Yeah, truly. It was an apocalypse. So, I'm like, I can't even take this like, it's true. I'm like, it's really true. You're so focused on this. Yeah. The world is ending at this point. We've kind of forgotten like the places. I think if you're like, scale it, like, if we were to like, really tear down all the like, the chaos of it all, like, I think it would have been so reasonable for her to just express that it made her uncomfortable. Yeah. And, and like, and see what he would have done with that. And she seems really upset. Like, she was probably so excited for their wedding. And it's May. It was the wedding was only going to be four months away at that stage. And now it's not happening. And they don't know when it's going to happen. And she's probably thinking like, yeah, at that point in in COVID, you're probably like, oh, my God, are we ever going to get married? Right. So she's losing her mind over that. And he's just playing this off. I remember there were so many weddings planned for like 2020 that got pushed like a year, a year and a half later. But they didn't know when it was. I remember they a lot of the weddings that were planned. I'm like, okay, we're doing the same venue next year this time. Same day. Yeah. Yeah. But they still didn't know. There was no knowing then. Um, lastly, someone said everyone sucks here. You did overreact a bit, but knowing how uncomfortable it makes you, he should be willing to quit playing along with the work wife thing. A dumb concept, a concept anyway, but I digress. Um, but I don't agree with that. Yeah. Tough. And that's all we've got to say about that. I can understand. I really understand her though. If she's hearing like, why are you guys taking this bit so far? Is this a relationship that is deeper than I understand? Like, yeah, it's room for doubt, you know, but yeah, I agree, though, with chance of like that era. Yeah. All these things are exacerbated. Do our zoom meetings, our monthly zoom meetings are in the pandemic. What were they like? Oh my god. Crazy. It was just everyone trying to get their quick little 15 minutes of being funny. It was just weird. We're all just like trying to be like doing stand up in a big meeting. Like, just it was such a weird time because we were filming a lot. We were filming the same amount of videos from home, but from home. Yeah. It was weird. But that month we were tired King. Yeah, we did a sketch about Tiger King. No way, I care about it. Oh my god, play it. I want to see it. I'm going to look it up later. No, it's really, it's like really tough because we had to change our entire design of how we made things. Edward had on a hat so it was Tiger King, but we couldn't do like we didn't do real Tiger King It was Tiger King so he was obsessed with Tiger King. Not Tiger King. I know. I know It was Tiger King And there was lots of Winnie the Pooh merchandise around our apartments for a while. What? Yeah Shame that's tough and and a monthly Zoom meeting. Who was the Tiger King? Ian Yeah, I think she was here to look crazy. The things we did. Yeah Yeah, it was like my day was film the sketch have maybe one meeting and then Animal Crossing. I did some Animal Crossing. I did a lot of Overwatch. Nice. That's when I learned People are probably so good in the in the pandemic. They were so good. I was ranked. I was ranked Oh, right. Yes, ma'am. What? Who's your main? At that time, I think it was a Rissa, but it was an Rissa still had the shield in front. Oh, okay. I love it. Wow. And then right when Moira came out, I was like, that's my girl right here. Our next story comes from Am I the asshole? Am I the asshole for not paying for my co-workers lunch? Okay. This is generally the dumbest Am I the asshole I've ever made slash red, but here we are. I'm a first responder and was writing along with another shift for training purposes. The first day we drove through a Chick-fil-A. I ordered a small mac and cheese in our area. That's about $4. He ordered a whole meal. When we got to the window, they gave us 50% off making mine $2. The guy I was writing with said, don't worry. I'll cover you. Cool. Thank you for covering my $2. I appreciate it. Well, well, second day we went to a local bistro that's decently pricey. I ordered a salad that was about $10. His meal totaled out to just over $20. When we went to the register to pay, he told them she's going to cover mine while pointing at me. To say I was appalled is an understatement. The cashier looked at me and I calmly stated, no, I'll just be covering myself. The guy I was writing with got mad and started saying he covered me for lunch yesterday, so it's only right that I cover him. I'm not confrontational, but I'm also no punk, LOL. I calmly stated, $2 does not constitute $22 or whatever the total was. If you'd like me to give you $2 to cover my small side, I ordered yesterday, I will absolutely do that, but I will not be paying for your meal and handed my card to the cashier. He paid for his meal and we went outside where he refused to let me get into the vehicle. He continued to argue and cause a scene in the parking lot. He told me I'm no longer allowed to ride with him, so I called for a supervisor. Once the supervisor arrived, he told them that he covered my lunch yesterday and that I refused to extend the same courtesy and that I embarrassed him and caused a scene and he no longer feels comfortable riding with me. I explained my side to the supervisor and apologize because this is literally so ridiculous, LOL. The supervisor essentially said I was wrong because I should have just been respectful and paid for him like he did. At this point, I was pissed and told them this sounds like extortion and that I wasn't going to be taking advantage of. I told them that $2 is a whole lot different than $22. We are first responders. We don't make a lot of money. I continued to say if you wanted me to buy him a drink from the gas station or give him $2, I had absolutely no problem doing so, but I was not going to be bullied into covering his meal because he covered mine. I ended up riding with someone else because obviously riding with him is no longer an option. The person I switched to also said I was wrong and should have just paid for his meal. What? I don't think I'm wrong here. Had I known the previous day that I would be expected to pay for his expensive meal after paying for my $2 mac and cheese, I would have never let him cover me. I feel like since he put me on the spot, me putting him on the spot and return was only fair. I don't feel like I caused a scene. I wasn't the one who argued and refused to unlock the doors, but now everyone's saying that I'm not a team player and I embarrassed him as well as our place of work. Am I wrong here? Am I the asshole? What in the world? She is in a tough spot. Okay. I have feelings. Okay. Do tell. There are 3,400 billionaires on the planet. There are 8 billion people. Billionaires should not exist. This problem should not exist. We should be paying first responders more. This should be a non-issue. There are so few people with so much money that could fix so many things on this planet and we're not angry enough about it. Instead, we're yelling at each other over $2 and Chick-fil-A mac and cheese. I hear you, dude. I mean, yeah. Like this sucks to hear. They're first responders and that amount is bothersome. That should not be an issue. It should not be a conversation. I agree. I shouldn't. It shouldn't. I think what I'm thinking about is she's newer, right? She's in training. She's the right along. That's the opposite. She's the trainer. He's the training. He's training them and so he covered her on $2 and sounds like the restaurant because my dad was a firefighter and sometimes a restaurant would like comp them the meal or give a big discount because it's like thank you for everything you do. But like it's just it seems so like there's a dynamic issue. The dynamic feels a little weird and it also feels like this guy and all the other co-workers are very much of the vibe of just like oh just yeah you should just done it. Like I agree with her. I think it's like an unfair dynamic because it's like when I'm like because yes to the whole situation you screwed but it's fuck when it comes to when it comes to though like splitting the bill and like you you pay for someone's coffee one day and then like expecting them to pay for your coffee the next. I do take into consideration like the amount of money that was spent right. Yeah and also like you can assume someone's covering a meal but I'm never going to just assume someone's covering me. If I'm going to assume I'm like oh I'm just going to assume I'm going to cover them. Yeah but you need to have the conversation especially. But there is like also levels to it. It's like if I buy someone burger king I don't expect them to buy me a steak dinner like there's that's very true. That's that's what I feel like is kind of on a some level is happening here. That's a little ridiculous. She also ordered a side not a full meal. Right. And he's expect this just feels a little bit like kind of just taking advantage of it just feels like a little bit of like a weird toxic workplace type. And if he had to say like and she embarrassed me it's like that shouldn't be a more limited issue. This feels like it needs to be taken to a draw. It's a personal issue. Let's look at this too. He tells the cashier that she's going to cover it instead of asking oh did you want to cover this. Right. Yeah. You're putting this third party so that you have leverage over her she's not going to tell her no. She actually had she's not a punk. So she told her no. He's going to cover his own because he's a grown-ass man. And to just like it now okay now the job it needs to continue and not letting her continue her job. Yeah. Because it's something that is so not work-related. Like I just that's so that's so petty. It's really petty. The verdict is not the asshole. Comments not the asshole. I bet that most everyone who is saying you are wrong or men. I bet you have violated some unspoken bro code that you as the trainee need to pay for the person with more experience. What the dude did was a form of theft. The $2 snack meaning you need to pay for a $20 lunch that was double the price of your lunch. Then he locked you out of this vehicle. This is a toxic work environment. 5,000 upvotes. Oh he said funny enough I technically wasn't the trainee but instead the trainer. It was definitely not a fun situation and I've requested not to work on this shift again. I told my supervisors if they want me to train that shift I will not be working under that supervision again. Someone said to that not the asshole I cover lots of people's meals but it's because I decided to not because they demanded it. You're better off avoiding these assholes. If you have HR or union rep I would lodge a formal complaint to get it on the record. So now I said not the asshole my husband works the MS and I wish I could say I was surprised. These guys are bullying you. I don't know why but that's what they're doing. Someone said not the asshole if it had been a few dollars of difference that would be one thing but $20 is a lot. It would be different if you had been partners for a while but it sounds like you barely know this guy. He was trying to take advantage of you because he didn't think you'd push back. Him refusing to let you in the vehicle was super unprofessional. Unfortunately it sounds like everyone knows and likes this person so they're siding with him and anyone who disagrees is probably staying out of it. If you have to work with these people for a while you might be better off apologizing even though you did nothing wrong. It would be easier than being the outsider who no one wants to work with. Sorry. Oh yeah guys. That's tough. Oh my sister's an EMT and I'm like I'm trying to she's never talked about anything like this. I'd be different region to region like you. But jobs like that and just like because my dad's a firefighter state a shift is 24 hours like or or like two days on three days off like that's a dynamic. You would not just hang it out each of nine to five or you're basically living with this part part time shift. It's a different environment and yeah like part of me was thinking about like oh well if this is going to be a long standing work relationship they're just like yeah this because over time we are going to hopefully that it's going to be equal over time but this person doesn't know that it's just that's just it's just tough. That's really tough. Oof, our final story comes from Petty Revenge and and it's probably one of my favorite titles of a red story I've ever seen. - Oh, what? - That's that. - Farded on my stupid coworker. (laughing) - Angela, for it in my answer. - Oh my God. - Stupid. - That's awesome. - That's awesome. - What? - You kicked me. - Are you okay? - I'm gonna fart on you. - No! - Guys, stop farting and fighting. (laughing) This happened a while ago, but I figured I'd share. I used to work as a hostess at a massive three-floor restaurant slash bar. One bartender, Mac, had the tendency to do what I like to call "Macsplaining." He would always go on about how the highest paying tables should always be seated in his section. Before my shift, he'd always give me the same lame speech about how his section of the restaurant was the most prime seating with the best service. So of course, I should only be seating people who look like they're going to spend a lot of money, though. Whatever that means, typically I'd just be like, sure, whatever, Mac, and then seat people without profiling them, because obviously, this place was also always jam-packed with a massive line, so it's not like there was much room for me to shuffle people around based on how much they looked like they might ball out. Also, how the hell am I supposed to gauge who is going to ball out? Anyways, Mac took this personally, apparently. One time, I sat a group of older women celebrating a birthday in his section, and they ended up ordering some food with no drinks and then left. Mac went on this massive tirade about how I was incompetent at my job, and how I should clearly have known those women weren't going to spend much money, and should clearly have sat them in another section, another server section that wasn't Macs. I'm sorry. One shift, I felt a particularly heinous fart brewing and got a sinister idea for context. A little bit fart, I forgot about the fart. But here comes the fart. For context, I'm not a regular farter. I'm not a regular farter. So I'm really getting-- I'm an irregular farter. I'm getting into farting recently. For context, I'm not a regular shame. Guy who's learned about farting. For context-- But Angela's impression of you was like, I'm really getting into farting. Clip that, clip that. A lifetime of terribly disordered eating habits has rendered my gut to be a few strokes shy of a chemical weapon, and I've instigated several heated arguments on fart politics amongst my friends, all with the power of a single fart. So there at Mac is, behind the bar washing glasses, fast as hell during a rush. And I thought, wow, how helpful would it be if I go put them away behind the bar for him while he makes orders for customers? So of course, I go out of my way to go behind the bar to help Mac, and right as he's behind me shaking cocktails, I let it rip. Some of my finest work I must add. I peeked over to Mac to see if he'd been caught in the radius, and sure enough, there he is with his face twisted and sheer disgust. To make matters worse, there were two pretty girls seated across him at the bar, seemingly clear of the nuke zone. As I was fleeing the scene, I caught Mac trying unsuccessfully to keep his cool in the midst of the stench while attempting to chat up these girls, LOL. The satisfaction of that moment led me to get a little carried away, and I started systematically targeting Mac whenever I needed to fart on shift. One time, I even made myself a protein pack green smoothie to up my impact after a shift, where he'd been particularly menacing. When I saw Mac frantically talking to a manager, pointing at the open drain under the bar and checking the fridges for milk spills, I knew I'd gone too far. Anyway, Mac, wish you the best. You thought you were a smart fella, but you're really a fart smeller, LOL. Oh, my God. God. So he never knew it was her? Didn't figure it out. Yes. The comments rolled just a bunch of fart jokes. Someone said Mac dusting. Someone said big Mac attack. Oh, come on. I hate it. Yeah, it started to get a little cringy. As soon as you started cringy, you died to make a fart. All right, okay, we're done. We're done here. We're done here. You got 'em. When it was one fart, I was like-- One fart was awesome. One fart was awesome. It continual harassment of fart rockets as well. It's also like, that feels like chemical warfare. Like, I feel like-- A certain point. I feel like too targeted. I remember, okay, now that we've been talking about the pandemic in this episode, like when people who were anti-mask would fake cough or sneeze at people, and that was like called I think it was called a form of tort, like a-- Bioterrorism. Terrorism, yeah, bioterrorism. I'm like, how is a fart different from that? Like, if you're targeting people-- You don't like it. I can say I've never wanted a fart on it. I've never wanted a fart on anyone. I feel like I have this beard. You guys, I've never wanted a farted on it. I do feel like I have this bad luck thing though, where when I'm out in public, and I'm like, okay, I'm by myself, and I like kind of like silently fart. At that moment, some person is gonna suddenly approach my area. You're like, hey, can we just-- And I go, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's away from them. Like, I'll be at a grocery store. I'm like, I'm alone in this aisle. And then as soon as I fart, it's like everybody comes there. They're like, they're like, oh, we're gonna go to the aisle six now. I feel like I'm telling their friends. They're like, come here, on. And then multiple cases, they'll be in an elevator. And like, the second I'm like, okay, I'm gonna do this. And then it stops, opens up, and like, people get in. And I'm just like, the guy who was in here before fought it really bad. The guy before me. There was a guy in the house elevator. My house is a fart freehouse. It's a fart freehouse, hold. Take off your socks. Please don't fart. It's a fart. No shirt, no shoes on. No shirt. No shirt. No shoes, no shirt, no shirt. No shirt, no shoes, no shirt. No shoes, no shirt, no shirt, no shirt, no shirt. But all the shardonnay. Oh. Oh. Can we go back to how shitty Mack is? Yeah. Mack's up. Because he is wanting to discriminate and send the rich people to his section. Don't you love the feeling when it's like, like, I remember being really not, like, not having a lot of money in my pocket, you know, like, really, really struggling. And then you get seated at a restaurant and you're like, wow, we got a really nice table. Yeah. Isn't this so nice? Well, he's saying his area is the best service because it's him. Yeah. Well, and he has the prime seating. So it's like best looking, like, maybe his side of the restaurant has a view of the city. And he thinks his service is the best, and he's making, he's taking, he's like, the view of the city is me. I am the good city. I am the service. I am the good city. I am the good city. But, like, that's so sad, like, he wants, like, you know, the whole, like, we're rich getting richer. Like, oh, so the rich people get to have the nicest experience in the restaurant. Yeah. Like, come on. It's a bullshit. It's a bullshit, Mack. Maybe he should. And maybe I'm glad he got farted on. Oh, I'm glad he got farted on. Yeah. I'm indifferent. I'm getting farted on. Unfortunately, other people, other people, other, there's collateral damage here. She's out there farting all over the place. Other people are getting hit by that. But he's not connecting those things. He's not going, I'm getting so stinky smells around me. Maybe it's because I'm discriminating against people. But the hope is that people think that Mack is the one farting. That's the hope. But I don't know if that's occurring. That's not my hope. What's your hope? Stop farting. Peace on earth. Yeah. Yeah. Don't be fart. Nice. I don't want. Yeah, piss on earth. Hell. I've been quoting a lot of things that nobody knows the reference from in this episode. And it's, I'm really curious. That's okay. People in the comments don't know. I don't want anybody to fart on me and I don't want you guys to fart on anybody. No, I would. Okay. I won't. I promise I won't. Thank you both for being here. I'm glad that our coworker situation is not like these. No. We're against it. You're a good painter house. And I would work your wife. Wait, no. No. I will work your wife. You would work her wife? Work, why? I work. Work. Anyways, thank you both for joining me. Thank you all for watching and listening. And hey, we have a lot of live shows this year. Wooshery's Red Story's live. They're going to be all over the place. So keep an eye out for them and we will see you one of them. But we will see you next Saturday, right here. Bye.