"Wicked" director Jon M. Chu talks Elphaba-branded Swiffers and we preview "Melania"

From NPR and W.E.C. Chicago, this is "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me The NPR News Quiz." It's cold out there, but don't worry, I'm still hot. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studio Bakery Theatre at the Fine Arts Building in the Chicago Atherlyne, Peter Seiball. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Thanks for being with us. We have a fine show for you today. Later on, we're going to be talking to John M. Chew, the director of Wicked and the latest Wicked for Good. So finally, we have a guest who has no basis to object when I burst out into song. Well, we want to hear your tune, so give us a call to play our games. The number is 1-trip-a-late. Wait, wait, wait. That's 1-888-924-8924. It's time to welcome our first listener contestant. How are you around? Wait, wait, don't tell me. Peter, this is Ken Carlton from Chamberlainburg, Pennsylvania, right next to Gettysburg. All right, next to Gettysburg. Okay, and what do you do there? I teach in middle school. I teach 6/7th and 8th graders about careers. Do you really? I have to ask what careers are middle school kids these days most interested in? Well, strangely, a lot are really interested in being physical therapists, video gamers, or NFL players. In that order, I assume. Well, Ken, welcome to the show. I'm going to introduce you to our panel this week. First up, she's a comedian and host of Ted's new Democracy Series, The Great Experiment on Ted.com. It's Nagin Farsad. Hello. Hi, Nagin. How are you doing? I'm good. Next, an actor and writer who could be seen in the stand-up show, we have fun at Young Ethls in Brooklyn on February 4th and in the show Uptown Showdown, it's Symphony Space on February 5th. It's Peter Gross. Hi there. Hey, Peter. And finally, making her debut on our panel, she's a writer and the brains behind Depth of Wikipedia, who's show Depth of Wikipedia Live, is on tour now with tickets at DepthsOfWiki.com. It's Annie Rower. Hi. So, Ken, great to talk to you. Thanks for calling. You're going to play Who's Bill this time? Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, just that. You will win our prize. Any voice from our show, you might choose for your voice mail. Are you ready to do this? I'm ready. Let's do it then. Here's your first quote. It's Milan. It's your vibe. That's the official motto of what big event kicking off on Friday. Oh, the Winter Olympics. The Winter Olympics, yes. It's coming. They're here with just days to go before the opening ceremony. Milan is still racing to finish some of the venues. The ice hockey rank has a hole in it. The ski lift gondola that takes people to the top of the mountain still isn't done. And I know, when I get on a gondola going up a mountain, my first thought is, I hope the contractors rush to get this done. Is it not done like it doesn't get to the top of the mountain, or is it like, oh, we shouldn't have started at the top and the bottom and met in the middle of it. There's like a plastic error, yeah. How did they not plan better to have this done in time? This is the country that literally invented the phrase about not building stuff in one day. What I love is that like, we now as a globe have learned how gay hockey is, like just and everybody's gay. And then I think what'll be really exciting. Everybody is gay. That's the message. That's the message, Ollie. Yeah. He didn't ride away. It was a two hockey player for gay. And then all of the more gay. And then I think, conversely, I think we might learn that everyone in ice dancing is very straight. Really? You know what I mean? This is what I'm thinking is going to come out of the Olympics this year. Well, how about skiing? How about Luz? Yeah, Luz. What's more, it's our gay. Luz, Luz, it seems like you know, famously Luz is very bisexual. Wait a minute. I was about to say, "Okay, hockey's gay, ice dancing straight, what's biathlon?" Now, the biggest star in the US team, I guess it's arguable, but this is the consensus, is probably figure skater Ilya Malinin. He's a yes. You guys are fans? Am I right? He's a guy. Wow. There's Ilya Malinin heads in the audience. He's a four-time world champion and he is famous for his quadruple jumps. He's done seven of those jumps in one program. That's twenty-eight. Now, that is. I'm going to say. Alright, seven quadruple jumps, that's amazing, but I got to say, it's like, after four or so, we get it. Yeah. Do something gay. Yeah. That's okay, but why? Now, Ken, your next quote is a woman talking about her new $75 million documentary, premiering this week. It's about so much. Moving into the White House, packing, moving into the White House, who's much anticipated. Who's much anticipated action-packed documentary premiered on Friday? I think they'll have to be our first lady, Melania Trump. Yes, Melania! The movie Melania came out Friday and all week, theaters around the country were boasting advanced ticket sales in the ones. The movie follows the first lady for the twenty days leading up to the inauguration with the big drama being will she ever complete, that Dalmatian coat she's been working on. I don't really care to you. I don't really care to you, yes. Ken, she, Ken, she be best. That's the question. This week, the White House threw a big premier party for the film. The guest list was the cremdle of what? Mike Tyson was there, true, as well as Apple CEO Tim Cook. When you imagine seeing this movie and then having to come up with something nice to say about it to the president and his wife, you're standing right there and you're like, "Wow, you know, the title of the movie, Melania, really accurate." Or you could say what people say, like I've done plays and stuff, and afterwards, like that you had so much energy, you were in it the whole time. And I have to tell you that this is also true, according to Rolling Stone, two-thirds of the movie's crew asked not to be listed in the credits. Oh my gosh. Oh. Seriously. It's like the, it's like the, the ice agents of the production world. You haven't seen that many names redacted since the Epstein file. It's a lot of the same people. Yeah. Probably. Bill Clinton, Nell, and Dershowie, Larry Sompers. Yeah, there's even the grip now. All right, Ken, here's your last quote. "Exploding trees are possible." That was a headline warning people to watch out for exploding trees during what recent weather event. The massive snowstorm that hit all around us. Yes, the big cold, the big winter storm that blanked into the country of this last week. That storm did not just make roads impassable, and it did not just make your skin burn from the cold. It also caused trees to explode. This is great news for those of us who have always wished trees would finally do something. So this happens when moisture gets into a tree and it pre-existing crack, and then it gets very cold, the ice forms and it expands, and all of a sudden the crack basically gives away, and the tree just was poof, and then you should not stand too close to trees when this is going on. Because this would be a very embarrassing way to go. This is also why the trees need Botox. You need to like, tighten that up. Tighten that up. Yeah. Tons of people who post videos, this being the world we live in, of exploding trees, it's pretty cool. You hear loud noise, and the tree suddenly goes pff, falls apart. The phenomenon is also called, and this is true, frost crack, which is also what you get when your snow pants fall down, right? Which is also something about drugs. My head went to Robert Frost, but that's just me, very different. And that's why we're on NPR, ladies and gentlemen. Bill, how do Ken do in our quiz? Wow. Ken, you did great. 3-0. Congratulations, Ken. Well done. Thank you. Thank you. You found the show. Thank you. Take care, Ken. Boom, boom. Boom, boom. Boom, boom. Boom, boom. Boom, boom. And now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Peter, times are stressful. We know that, but The New York Times has offered advice for achieving, quote, "nervana. Just do what?" Subscribe to The New York Times. No. I'll take it. It's okay. Not only do you achieve absolute inner peace, you also find out if you have polyps. Get a colonoscopy? Yes. Go get a colonoscopy. A writer was finally forced by his advancing age to get a colonoscopy and he discovered that they're actually wonderful, a secret known only to all the people who have gotten a colonoscopy. Why do you think we're smiling all the time? I'm sorry, I've had two, I do not agree with this sentiment. I like the being knocked out and not being awake for it, but have you prepped for colonoscopy? Here's the thing, so most people who enjoy colonoscopy, it's all about the drugs, they give you the procedure, you're out, you wake up, you feel good, it's okay, you feel good for the rest of the day. This guy even loved the prep. That's when yes, that's when you have to drink gallons of horse laxative until your organs liquefy and exit your body. He says, quote, "It was as liberating as a spa day." He called it, quote, "my diarrhea vacation." Oh my god. And I will admit it, it is kind of fun to discover that your own body is a clown car. I had no idea I would all fit in there. You know, people get on the New York Times for so many like political, this is the last drop, not interested in their opinions on colonoscopies. Yeah, this guy is going to be so amazed if he ever takes an actual vacation. You mean I don't have to spend all day lying next to the toilet? This Wisconsin Dells is heaven on earth! Coming up, our panelists send us a postcard from afar in our "Below to Listener" game called "One Triple Eight, Wait, Wait to Play." We'll be back in a minute with more of "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" from NPR. From NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me the NPR News Quiz." I'm Bill Curtis, we are playing this week with Annie Rowerda, Nagin Farsad, and Peter Gross. And here I get as your host at the "Studio Maker" theater in Chicago, and I'm Peter Tegel. Thank you, Bill. Right now, it's time for the "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener" game called "One Triple Eight, Wait, Wait to Play" game in the air. How are you around "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me?" Hi, this is Caroline from Tacoma Park, Maryland. I know Tacoma Park have friends there. What do you do there? I am a life and leadership coach and an organizational learning specialist. Organizational learning specialist? What is that exactly? It's designing learning programs and learning strategies to help companies and organizations function better. Oh, I was hoping you could help me meet in my office, but that's also good, because I desperately need the help. Well, welcome to the show, Caroline. You're going to play the game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. What is the topic, Bill? Let's go sightseeing. So it's great being a tourist. You're so busy trying new foods and seeing sites. You don't realize how dumb all the locals think you are. Our panelists are going to tell you about a new surprising tourist attraction that people are flocking to. Pick the one who's telling the truth. You'll win our prize. The "Wait, Waiter, If You're Choice" in your voicemail. Are you ready to play? I'm ready. All right. First, let's hear from Peter Gross. Scandinavians are famous for their sleek, minimalist design style. This week, the Museum of Interior Aesthetics opened in Stockholm, Sweden, celebrating that style with room after room of clean lines and minimalist flair. As a fun contrast, museum founders included an exhibit called the Vulgart Room, or Vulgar Room, featuring some extremely non-scandinavian design choices. Items in this tackling decorated room include a neon-bud light mirror, perched above a red belt poker table, a burgundy velvet couch next to a lime green plethora couch, a 70 inch TV sitting on boxes of books you've never unpacked after moving. Much to the chagrin of organizers, this is the most popular part of the museum. People are fascinated to see so many horrible design choices up close, says museum director Jens Olifson. It's very depressing and that comes from someone who was raised on Stringberg plays in Bergman movies. To add insult to injury visitors are also obsessively grabbing up only the gaudiest souvenirs. The gift shop is already out of plastic couch covers that poster of Albert Einstein sticking out his tongue and federal bikini inspector Drinkosies. A museum of good, modern design becomes instead an attraction for people who like the vulgar stuff. Your next odd attraction comes from Annie Rawerda. Sumerian 67 Fever has struck teens and tweens traveling to the UK. Instead of Buckingham Palace and that dumb Ferris wheel, middle schoolers from America are dragging their parents to the British Museum. The reason? A 3,400 year old Sumerian tablet. In the bottom left corner of an otherwise unremarkable clay slab sits a seemingly innocuous pair of squiggly figures. Their meaning in Sumerian lost to time, their uncanny resemblance, the Arabic numerals that we all know, 6 and 7. Museums staff report that pre-teens literally jump at the chance to snap a selfie with this apparently hilarious relic and that attendance was up 250% compared to the same period last year. It's even sparking an interest in more travel, with many happy kids asking, "Mom, Dad, for spring break, can we go to Iraq?" It's popular with British kids too. Kelly Warner, a 5th grade teacher at William Shakespeare Primary School in London, said that she had seen such a surge of student interest in the Sumerian way of life that she introduced a new student unit on the epic of Gilgamesh, reported one of her students. Shout out to 6/7 for introducing me and the boys to our new passion for ancient Sumerian culture. Life was crazy back then. (Laughter and applause) Middle school kids dragging their parents to see the 6/7 Sumerian slab of the British Museum, your last tourist trap tale comes from the Geenfarsaw. Ah, the glamour of international travel, the churches and museums, the exotic food, riveting cityscapes, and the Costco's. That's right, there's a trend among American tourists that involves visiting Costco's and other countries on purpose. These super fans of bulk consumption call themselves "Cosconians." And they won't stop till they've sampled every hot pocket in every time zone on God's green earth. Did you know that hot pockets in Australia flush the other way? After visiting a Costco in Japan, one woman said, "It ranks right up there with the temples." Of course, you wouldn't be a true Costcoian if you didn't buy the hot dog in every exotic Costco. Turns out they do taste different because in some countries hot dogs are made of a recognizable meat. Look, they can all be perfect. All right. So according to a report we found this week, tourists are going into a surprising place, or at least for a surprising reason. Was it from Peter Gross? Tourists heading into a museum of good design in Oslo just to look at the exhibits of bad design. From any rower to middle school kids rushing to the British Museum because they think an ancient slab from Sumer says 67 or from Nagin Fursad, tourists from America heading overseas and instead of seeing the local sites they go to the Costco, which is the story of tourism we found in the news. I'm kind of tempted by Nagin's story about Costco, but I think I'm going to go with Peter's. So you're instead of Nagin's story about Costco, you're going to choose Peter's story, which is the museum of excellent design. Unless that's the wrong answer. I think I'm going to go with Peter's story. We're going to go with Peter's story. All right. Well, we spoke to someone familiar with the real story. The classic Costco hot dog in pizza are here, but you can also get a nice little creamy mushroom soup, duck boogie, and even prugogi pizza. That was Hannah Ashering, a deputy food editor at Bon Appetit, talking about the glories that are available at the Korean Costco food courts. I'm so sorry you got fooled. Happened to the best of us. You did earn a point for Peter, though. Thank you. And he's grateful and we're so grateful you called. Thank you. This was really fun to have you. Bye. ♪ Doesn't matter I don't care, I will shop most anywhere ♪ ♪ Nothing but the best for me. ♪ And now the game we call not my job. John M. Chew was a prodigy as a kid making movies with his four siblings in Northern California, but unlike most child prodigies, he ended up doing really great. He's directed music videos, documentaries, and features like Crazy Rich, Agents, the highest grossing American movie ever with an all-Asian cast, and now Wicked. And it's sequel Wicked for Good in theaters now. They're the biggest movie musicals in decades. John Chew, welcome to Weight Weight, don't tell me. Thank you. Good to be here. It's great to have you. So you grew up in Northern California, the son of a very accomplished restaurateur, right? You grew up in the restaurateur. It's still there, 46 years later, my dad's still there, he's 82, it's called Chef Chew's, and he's there all the time. Love to work and loves to eat. Wow, yeah, and were you ever tempted to go into that business? Never. Not once, not even a little bit. I wouldn't, you know, a restaurant being grazed in a restaurant, it's great because it's a house of stories. Everyone's telling stories to my dad, my dad's telling stories to them about me, and it's the people in that restaurant because it was in Palo Alto and Silicon Valley. that people from Adobe gave me software to edit with. Gave me cameras, gave me computers, so it was a very beautiful film. - Wow, and that's what I meant. That you were identified pretty early as somebody with a flare. - Yeah, so you went to film school and you made a short film which got a lot of attention. And I was able to find the trailer for it online. - Oh man. - And it's called when the kids are away, right? - Yes, yes it is. - And if I understood correctly, 'cause it's just the trailer, the idea is little kid leaves her school with all his friends leaving for school, leaving their housewife mothers, they're all sort of traditional housewives. And as soon as they're gone, the housewives break out into these fabulous, big choreographed musical numbers. - Yes, what they do when the kids are away. - And I watch this and I'm like, oh my god, it was true. (audience laughing) But the twist of the movie is at the end, I'm just gonna ruin it for people, but at the end, 'cause you'll never find it. The end of it is that this kid gets found and he starts to share his moves, he thinks he's in trouble, but he shares his moves, and he actually introduces new moves to them. And we find out that he's actually little Michael Jackson, and that's the passing on of the old musical to the new musical, 'cause from then on, he knows how to do that. - Wow. I'm just thinking. - It's very deep. - It's very deep. - Yeah, it was very deep. (laughing) - You were a dancer, you studied tap dance for a long time, right? - I did, I mean, I was forced to tap with my sister, 'cause my mom didn't, I was in the car when she would take all her brothers' sisters to different dance things, so. I did tap with my sister, I didn't want any other people at our class, so me and my sister did our local talent show, our school talent show every year. - Wow, were you, were you any good? If by tapping well, you mean like glitter and gloves, and I did this one, me and my shadow with my sister, and we got enough fight right before we're doing it in front of our school, and my mom brought in the wood panels, and my sister and I are fighting, and so she's really shy, and I don't sing along with her, so she had to sing in one of her whole, our whole school by herself, and I'm in this big black unit heart as her shadow, and so I haven't lived it down since that. - Really? I actually still feel very guilty about that, so. (laughing) - So you have a big fight, and you have to do this dance number, and you won't sing, and she has to sing the whole number by herself, and you're just behind her and you're black unitard. - Tap them. - Big and my shadow. - It was devastating, devastating for her. - And she's never seen any movie you've ever done, because she's still mad. (laughing) At some point, I will get in a unitard and sing in front of her for at some point. - Right, but I yeah, so you grew up on musicals, and so you must have been excited when you got to direct the movie version of probably the biggest musical of the last 20 years, right? - Wicked. - Yeah, I was psyched. I saw Wicked before it was ever on Broadway, when it was at San Francisco, 'cause we had a season ticket, so my mom called me up. I was at USC at the time, she said, come watch Stephen Schwartz's new musical, so I got to watch it sort of as Patient Zero, before anyone knew anything about it. - I just have to ask, to personal reasons, when you were watching Wicked, were there any middle-aged men in the audience? (laughing) Sobbing at defying gravity? Did that happen at all? - We were all sobbing, we were all sobbing, so beautiful. - So I have to ask you about this, especially with the first installment, Wicked, there were so many marketing tie-ins, there was Wicked branded crocs, Wicked mac and cheese cups, Wicked barbies, Wicked Stanley cups, and Wicked build-a-bearers, I'm assuming you own all of them. - With firsts? - Yup, yup, you have it all. - Now I know who sponsors this show. (laughing) - Would you do your favorite one of those that they threw at you? - Listen, the swiffer is pretty cool. When you go to Target and you see the Elfaba and Galen dissections and they're there. I mean, it's not a broomstick, it's, you know, but it's close enough. (laughing) - Wicked swiffer is, what it makes sense, it's awesome. - Why does it like, though? (laughing) - That would be, that's a good way to get your kid to clean the house, like your kid loves. - Yeah, I'm defying gravity, it's there, yeah. (laughing) - I got one more question. So I watched, before Wicked, some years ago, you made not one, but two movies with Justin Bieber. And I'm watching the second one. I had to, it's the one that's leaving Netflix soon. (laughing) And here's the thing, you designed the concert in addition to filming the movie of the concert. And including, which I thought was intensely cool, Justin's entrance into the concert, in which he is, he flies in for shadowing Elphaba, right? (laughing) With these enormous wings. And I was wondering, speaking to you as a creative genius, if you have any idea that how I can improve my entrance. (laughing) 'Cause I just kinda walk out. - You need the blazers, you have scatthers, and you need your wings, you know, his wings were made of all his things that he actually knows how to do. It's built of all the things that have carried him, you know, again, I'm very deep, guys. (laughing) - I'm gonna find you wings. - Wow, wow, so my wings, all the things that got me here would be standardized tests and anti-depressants. (laughing) - I could see it, and don't forget to Van and I. - No! (laughing) (audience applauding) - John Chu, it is a pleasure to talk to you. We have invited you here today to play a game we're calling. - That's wicked good. - Since you directed Wicked for Good, we thought we'd ask you about a famously wicked good place, Boston, Massachusetts. - Oh God. - We're, by the way, now that I think of it, Wicked Swiffer sounds like something they'd say. (laughing) Wicked Swiffer. Anyway, answer two or three questions correctly. You'll win our prize one of our listeners, the voice of anyone they might choose, and their voice mail. Bill, who is John Chu playing for? - Joe Robbins of Seattle, Washington. - All right, you ready to do this? - All right, let's go, Joe, I got you. - Okay, man, here we go. - Here's your first question. Scientists have tried to study what makes people from Boston become people from Boston, and one actual study discovered which of these findings. A, Bostonian skulls are 5% thicker than the average Americans. (laughing) - That would make sense. - 15% of Boston toddlers drink coffee. (laughing) Or see all Boston school districts have a unit on how to climb light poles. (laughing) - Oh my God. The one that is like crazy enough, but not too crazy would be the coffee, B. - You're right, John, that's what. - What? - Yeah. - Here's your next question. Boston sports fans are known for their enthusiasm. During the parade to celebrate the new England Patriots first Super Bowl win in 2002, what happened? A, the crowd started chanting Yankees suck. (laughing) Even though they play baseball. B, three fans were arrested for trying to throw beer bottles right into the hood of Bill Belicek's sweatshirt. (laughing) Or see fans crowdsurf Tom Brady all the way from his duck boat to a nearby bar. (laughing) - I'm gonna go A. - You're right, that's what they did. I mean, of course, that's what they did. (clapping) - That's what I look at, that seems fun. - Yankees suck. (laughing) - I gotta tell you, I saw it on TV. It was wicked, swiffer. (laughing) Here's your next question. Earlier this month, Boston's WBZ news I team launched an investigative report after a man had something he'd been saving to pass on to his kids, ripped away from him, heartlessly. What did that man lose? A, his red socks, these and tickets located where his heckles could be heard on TV. B, a 1981 Pontiac Trans-Am that was missing both axles. Or C, 93,000 Duncan Donuts Rewards Points. (laughing) - Ripped away from it. - I'm just gonna go with my, what I think is just the most logical, I'll go C. - You're right, that's what it was. He had accumulated 93,000 rewards points of Duncan. He was hoarding them to hand out to his children. This is only legacy, and then Duncan changed the rules and they vanished. (laughing) - Isn't that sad? - It's sad, it's actually. - Alyssa, we had a great partnership with Duncan for, for, for, what could get for good? We could get these little munchkin tins. It was great, it's fantastic. - Of course, munchkins. - Yeah, it's right there. - Can you talk to them about this guy's points? - I think we should talk to them. Come on, come on, come on. - Come on, if you're out there. - Help this guy out. (laughing) Bill, how did John Chiu do in her quiz? - Three right answers is wickedly good. (laughing) - Look at awesome. - Look at awesome. (laughing) - John M. Chiu is the award-winning director of the Wicked Movies. You can stream Wicked for good now. John M. Chiu, thank you so much for joining us and thank you for taking the job of the movies. I cry like a baby. Take care. - Goodbye. (upbeat music) - In just a minute, Bill reveals a secret beluga whales have been hiding for years. Find out what it is in our listener lembrick challenge called One Triple Eight, wait, wait, to join us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, don't tell me? From NPR. (upbeat music) - From NPR, I know you'd be easy. Chicago, this is, wait, wait, don't tell me. The NPR news quiz, I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Annie Rowerda, Nagin Farsad, and Peter Gross. And here we get a sure host at these do-the-baker theater in Chicago Illinois. Peter's here. And just a minute, it's about time we sat you down and finally had the talk, the one where we talked to you in Limerick's. It's our listener at Limerick's challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call or one triple eight, wait, wait, that's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Peter, in the battle to eradicate invasive predators from New Zealand, a big problem there. Scientists have discovered at the perfect weapon. What is it? I don't know, something from Australia. No. I'll give you a hint. Dunking these things in milk makes them especially powerful. Chocolate chip cookies? A kind of cookie. A kind of cookie? Oreo? Yes. Oreo cookies. So there is an invasive possum species in New Zealand, and while most of them can be caught in traditional ways, there were some who were far too clever and wary to literally take the bait. Officials needed something, quote, "so tempting that it triggers reward-seeking behavior to override caution," which is basic, that's Oreos, right? Camp confirm. That's invasive raccoons, they're just like us. I mean, honestly, isn't that the slogan of Oreos printed on the package? So tempting that it triggers reward-seeking behavior to override caution. Right. And again, don't say it out loud. Just let me shove nine of these. Yeah, they definitely override the part of my brain that tells me, "You bought this for your kid to take to school." And it works. One sleeve per person, and then the thing where there's three sleeves. Exactly. And it worked in the two weeks before they switched to Oreos, they caught one possum. In the three weeks after the switch, 15. Well, it would work on me if I was ever in New Zealand. Oh, my God, they caught four possums in Peter Groves. Any. We all know there are secret formulas for Coke and the KFC, the Colonel's Secret Recipe, while the Wall Street Journal wrote about another even more secret formula. Hidden in a bank vault, seen only by a few dozen people over the decades, is the secret formula. For what? Okay, the Crabby Patty is not real. No. It is going to be the secret formula. Is it food? Can you tell me that? It's not a food. It's not a food. Can you give me a hint? Yes. Okay. You know what they say. The squeaky wheel gets the highly secret formula. WD-40. Yes, WD-40. Wow. Amazing. Whatever the formula is, it's working so well. It really is. Props to you, secret formula. The Wall Street Journal wrote all about this. Two amazing things in the story first, that the formula for WD-40 is one of the world's most highly guarded industrial secrets, and second, that it has a formula. I thought it was just a thing that there was. On the periodic table. Yeah, like this. Yeah. Like gold, gold, neon, WD-40, argon, carbon, you know, it's just a thing. It seems like it should be down there on the bottom with the weird ones. Exactly. It's a California and an all the other ones, yeah, one of the elements. But also isn't it just, I've always felt like it's just secretly olive oil or something. Like, it's not anything. No. No, it's an entire mystery what it is. In fact, the WD turns out to stand for, "What does?" I work so well. Like, I haven't had a sore throat in the years. I know. It's amazing. The formula is written down in a notebook that is locked in a bank vault in an undisclosed location somewhere in San Diego, only a handful of people have seen it over the past 70 years because, unfortunately, the notebook also reveals the name of the inventor's secret crush. Manaloi! I don't let anybody know. Coming up, it's Lighty Phil and the Blank, but first is the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message. It's 1-888-9248-924. You can come see us most weeks right here at the Studio Baker Theatre in downtown Chicago or you can catch us on the road. And if you live in Chicago and you want to see our show's weird little sister, come check out our special comedy grab bag live stand-up show March 11th at the Den Theatre in Wicker Park. Adam Burke will be hosting along with panelists, Alzo Slade, Rachel Coster and more special guests. For tickets and more information for all our live events, go to nprpresent.org. And while you're at it, head over to nprshop.org and check out our new merch. You can grab one of our new wait-wait-deez or sweatshirts, but you will still need your own pants. Hi, everyone. Wait, wait. Don't tell me. Hi there, Peter. I'm Rachel from Las Cruces, New Mexico. Hey, Rachel. How are you? I'm phenomenal. It's absolutely been a wonderful day for me so far. I am so glad. What a good attitude. I moved here to work on a trail crew with Conservation Corps, New Mexico. Oh, how very cool. I like it. Is that your job? What do you do for fun? Accounting? I know. I'm a musician for fun. Oh. Well, Rachel, welcome to the show. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limits with the last word of phrase missing from each of you. If you can find that last word of phrase correctly and two of the limits, you will be a winner. Let's go. Let's do it. Here's your first limit. Wow, and it likes to promote deals, but their mush had an ultra-hot throat feel. I am making demands because I scolded my hands. I have sued because they served me hot. Oh, to me, okay. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You got it. Good, good, good. A man sued air Canada for $5,000 for medical expenses and pain and suffering because of an injury he received while eating oatmeal in their airport lounge. He says he spilled some oatmeal onto his hand and it burned, it burned. He asked for $5,000, he claimed that air Canada was negligent in allowing people to serve themselves from the hot container. A tribunal said no, it was not an unreasonable risk and also said the oatmeal container had a large red flame symbol on the front, warning people it was hot. The guy said he just thought that meant the oatmeal was extra spicy. He really said that? No. But he really did say, and that was their defense, I said, you know, we'd say it's hot. He said that they should have a trained person there to scoop the oatmeal for people to prevent this injury because it's too dangerous for them. Someone who went to college for four years, they went to grad school to specialize in imperial studies. This guy's really into workforce development. You really am. I appreciate it. All right. Here is your next lemur. We stinks like to seek new domains, but slithered again is such a pain. When home ground seems stale, we start riding the rails. We stinks like to get on a train. Yes. When cobra snakes are spreading really efficiently throughout India and researchers have finally figured out why there are mother-epping snakes on these mother-epping trains. Researchers know that the snakes typically prefer forested areas in the inland of the country, but they've been found making homes in a handful of unexpected and far-fun places. And it turns out they all line up to nearby railway lines, right? So they think the snakes are taking the trains. I mean, maybe they're doing it to be sneaky, maybe they just look up and see this long thing moving around the ground and they go, "Daddy!" They're promoting the railway lines, you know, there's like the commercials for whatever and they're too good. People are taking them to the snakes. They're like, "That looks like a lovely vacation. I've never been to Goa." It seems like a blast. This explains why I saw a suspiciously skinny man in an overcoat ordering a frozen rock to the cafe. Where is your last lembra? We belugas aren't sexual clingers. For those keys in a bowl, we are ringers. On most of our dates, we are swapping our mates. Yes, beluga whaled pods are all swingers. Swingers? Yes. Swingers have determined that beluga whales are swingers, repeatedly switching mating partners from year to year. The findings were reported in the New England Journal of Ocean Perverts. Sluts. I know. I know. I could tell. I could tell. No. Weird how raffy never mentioned that. Bill, how did Rachel do in our quiz? Three in a row. Congratulations. Yeah. Cool. Thank you so much for calling, Rachel. Take care. Yeah, you two, Peter. Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now with two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? The game has three, Annie and Peter each have two. So that means the game you are in first place. Annie and Peter are tied for second. Peter, we're going to start with you. Great. Here we go. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, the new owners of social media app Blank blamed a power outage for some posts being censored. Snap chat? No. TikTok. On Monday, the White House announced it was increasing Blanks on goods from South Korea. Terrace. On Monday, Russia confirmed that it's black. C. Flagship was, in fact, sunk by a missile from blank. - You okay? - Right, according to health officials, blank expectancy in the U.S. is on the rise. - Life expectancy? - Yes. On Monday, the last two blanks on loan to zoos in Japan were returned to China. Uh, pandas? Right, after a WEMO self-driving car crashed into several park cars in Los Angeles, the company assured the public that blank. Um, there's gonna be WEMO with us. - Yeah! [laughter and applause] - Um, um, there's not gonna be WEMO. - No. - WEMO, WEMO assured the public the car was being driven by a human at the time. No injuries were reported after the vehicle crashed into multiple cars in a residential neighborhood, but WEMO was still quick to point out that it was human error and that a self-driving car would never hit another car, only pedestrians. [laughter] Pill, how did Peter do in our quiz? - You got four right, eight more points, total of 10 puts him in the lead. - All right, very good. [cheers and applause] In your applause, folks. Any of you are up next, here we go, filling the blank on Thursday. Senate Democrats and the White House reached a deal to avoid a blank. - Government shutdown. - Right, on Monday, the American Academy of Pediatrics released its updated childhood blank recommendations. - Uh, screen time? - Uh, no vaccine recommendations. This week, the Federal Reserve once again held blanks steady. - Uh, interest rate. - Right, citing declining sales, electrocarmaker blank announced it was discontinuing two of its models. - Tesla? - Right after fans pressured him to write a song against Trump, children's songwriter, Raffee, said he couldn't because blank. - Uh, um, his voice is tired. - No, because as Raffee, he is not allowed to use the F-bomb in his songs. [laughter] On Monday, France faced a backlash after banning blanks from their high-speed, real-ways, premium cabins. - Vapes, cigarettes. - Kids. - Oh. - On Sunday, the-- - More dangerous than fans of cigarettes. - These are the French headband kids long before cigarettes. On Sunday, the Seahawkson Patriots won their conference title games and will face each other at the blank. - Super Bowl! - Right! After two boys, age 9 and 11, at a daycare in Canada, got in a fight over a toy dinosaur, the younger boy blanked the older boy. - Um, pooped on. - No! [laughter] He sued him. [laughter] The 11-year-old hit the nine-year-old in the finger with a toy dinosaur, and in that classic school yard taunt, the nine-year-old said, "I'll see you in court." [laughter] In the end, the judge sided with the older boy in dismiss the suit, which is a huge relief, because he was facing 10 to 15 years in the time-out chair. [laughter] Bill, how did Annie do on our quiz? - Hey, we've got a Super Bowl here. Four right, eight more points, 10. I mean, she's tired with theater. - All right, then, and how many then does Negine need to win? - Four to win! - Three and a half to tie. Here you are. Here we go in the game to see. This is for the game to gain on Wednesday, the FBI rated essential election office in blank. - Georgia. - Right, on Tuesday, the acting president of Venezuela pushed back against the White House's demands to restart blank production. - Oil. - Right, this week, President Trump escalated his threats of military action against blank. - Iran. - Right, according to health officials, South Carolina's blank outbreak is the US's biggest in 25 years. - Measal. - Right, this week an AI-generated ad promoting Tasmania's tranquil Hutsprings had to be removed because blank. - They're not tranquil. - No, they're not there. There are no Hutsprings in Tasmania. (audience laughing) On Tuesday, the blank clock was set closer to midnight than it has ever been. - Oh, the end of the world? - Yeah, the Doomsday clock. On Monday, Cadillac became only the second American car maker to have a blank racing team. - F1? - Yeah, Formula One. Car shoppers suspected a car auction site was using AI. When photos of a used Cadillac showed that the car had blank. - Arms. - No, the ad photo showed that the Cadillac had cobblestone floors. (audience laughing) If you're unfamiliar with the 1999 Cadillac Deville, one thing to know about it is that it does not have cobblestone floors on the interior. It's hard to say why exactly. The auction site thought they should add that to the pictures of the car, but honestly for me, the only way I know I'm in a true luxury vehicle is if I might spray an ankle. (audience laughing) - Bill, didn't the game do well enough to win? - Did really well, six, right, 12 more points. 15 gives her the way in this week. - Congratulations, again, yes! - So cute you guys. - Congratulations. (audience applauding) - Gracious and defeat. Not gracious in victory whatsoever. (audience laughing) - Coming up, our panelists predict, now that we know they can explode, what surprising thing will trees do next? (audience laughing) - Wait, wait, don't tell me it's a production of NPR and WBZ Chicago, an association with urgent haircut productions, Doug Berman, benevolent overlord, Philip Godica, writes our lemurics, our public address announcer is Paul Friedman, our tour manager is Shayna Damold. Thanks to the staff and crew here at the Studebaker Theatre, B.J. leaderman, composed our theme, our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Nirmos, and Lily and King. Special thanks to Vinny Thomas and Monica Hickey, Peter Gwynne is the apple of our eye. Our visual host is Emma Choi, technical director of some Lorna White, our CFO's Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse, our senior producer is Ian Chilock, and the executive producer of Weight Weight Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth, and I'm afraid to say this is a sad day for us at Weight Weight, because we have to say goodbye to our beloved tour manager, Shayna Damold. Shayna came to us after working with people like the Eagles and the Rolling Stones, and just by her presence, we all got promoted from dorks all the way up to nerds. (audience laughing) Her energy is magnetic, her dedication to making everything better for everybody around her is endless, and we will miss her terribly. We just know that wherever she goes next, that place will not just be lucky, it will be much cooler. Now, panel, what will trees do next? Nagin Farsal? - They can't have cracks, so they're gonna get into skin care, so their barks look hot. (laughing) - Annie Rowerda. - The trees are going to apologize for exploding, especially in public, they will not do it next time. (laughing) - And Peter Groves. - They're gonna break out singing. ♪ It's time to try to find gravity ♪ (laughing) - Don't you dare. - Well, if any of that happens, panel, we'll ask you about it on, wait, wait, don't tell me. - Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Nagin Farsal, Peter Groves. And thanks for a great tip, you from Annie Rowerda. (audience cheering) Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Citymaker's Theatre in downtown Chicago. And thanks to all of you for listening wherever you might be on Peter's Segal. We'll see you next week. (audience cheering) (upbeat music) - This is NPR.