Wichita Slime | Kenneth Copeland Ministries & Wichita Slim

I think I'm experiencing some like internalized biphobia. Hmm. Did a bisexual scare you? No, what really started it was my friend having a Crow birthday party and then I was like, "Man, I want a girlfriend that I can bring little trinkets like a Crow." So when you say a Crow birthday party, do you mean a Crow is in the bird or Crow is in the brand-in-le movie? I don't know. I didn't go. But I think everyone was supposed to dress up like a Crow and then she had like where you can make like aluminum foil sculptures and they were like little trinkets and like stuff. Man, this started out so ADHD. I really had a point that I was gonna make and it was basically just, it would be so much easier if I was gay. I think because then there wouldn't be this like little line where it's like, "My family and everyone stopped fucking with me from my old life because I like women but I only like them some of the time." I feel like now I can't like dudes because if I like dudes, then I gave up everything for nothing but also like sometimes Dicks good. Okay, so I just, you think that you should exclusively date women to justify everything that's happened up until this point. Yes. Yeah, I get it. I don't know how healthy it is, but I get it. No, it's not, it's not at all, it's not at all, it's fine. I don't have a girlfriend that I can bring trinkets to. I don't even have a job so I couldn't provide for her if I did. It's all hypothetical anyway. It's all hypothetical and so I just need to start exploring women instead because I feel like I've had, like I've had dick, like I've just, I've been ran through. I've been. Even in the three way I had the other day I didn't get to eat pussy and I just really want to eat pussy. It's been like three months. I'm actually having a casual for some this Friday. There you go. A little casual for some, like that's what I'm saying. One time I suggested a three way, but it was like on Thanksgiving, I'm like my family was going to get there 30 minutes. Scheduling is a problem. That's something that happened here. You know, it came up as an impromptu kind of thing, but we're also busy that it's been almost four weeks now since we first talked about it and this was the first collective time we could find to get it on the calendar. See that's a thing. I feel like three ways are one of those elusive things that not everyone has had. I think it's because you can't get that many adult schedules to a lot. I know it's very difficult. Like I think that scheduling is really truly preventing society from like having ordries constantly. And each additional person you add makes it exponentially more difficult. A problem I have is that most people don't seem as motivated as I do and that makes me feel like an eager beaver, but you know, I'll rearrange my schedule. Right. Like, I'm over here. Like my friend suggested it and then is like fine with it not happening and I'm like, no, no, no. Things like this are at the top of my scheduling priority. Like, baby, I'll make time for you. We're making memories here, okay? Nobody can ever take those memories away from us. Exactly! It's just it's friendship fun time. Just got to love on each other. We love love. We're gonna lay some hands. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The presence of the devil is very real. With comical personality, the world is the worst that has ever been. Hello, everyone. My name is Clint Keller. He, him. I'm Jay Austin. They, them. And today you're listening to How Gay That Work. Comedy podcast broke growing up. Queer Christian and hella cuck cuck cuck cuck I like it. I'm an adult. I can do the show. You think Kenneth Copeland is a cuck? Oh, Kenneth Copeland is absolutely a cuck. Kenneth Copeland is like the definition microplastics and bad Botox. I don't know if he's gotten it, but his face just it looks like he could have come in the Christian dulcet. He's given himself crazy eyes from all the surgery and Botox, right? Like, it's like he can't close his eyes. Right, but he also, I think the crazy eyes are part of his preaching. Like, oh, I'm blessed by God. I'm highly favored. Okay. So who is Kenneth Copeland? Why do we hate him? He's an American televangelist and he's associated with the charismatic movement and the prosperity gospel movements. He's worth $750 million dollars as of this recording. He was born in 1936 near army air forces airfield. Okay, that's confusing because it's not the air force. It's an army air force airfield and it made him want to be a pilot. When it says he was raised in West Texas, do they mean West Texas or do they mean like West common Texas? I think West Texas. No comma. Okay, thank you. Sorry. West is a town. Yeah, talk about the oral Roberts sick because this is where he learned the con. He went to oral Roberts University who, you know, oral Roberts, another famous crazy preacher, but there he became oral Roberts personal pilot and so forth. Yeah, he was the pilot and he's there at this Christian university and he's basically doing the like Hillsong celebrity culture where they had like the drivers that would be volunteers and they would never pay them, but they would always drive around all the celebrities and stuff and all of the pastors to Hillsong stuff. He was that for oral Roberts and then realized, oh shit, I'm flying private jets for pastors and people just give me money all the time. Let me just become a pastor myself. He's an opportunist. The same year that he enrolled at oral Roberts University, he started his ministry. So 1967, he did both. He started at the university, founded his own ministry and became oral Roberts personal pilots. So yeah, he definitely got in there, saw the money to be made and started taking advantage of it for himself. He's been married three times because you can't just date when you're a Christian. You got to just immediately marry. You gotta keep getting married. First marriage was in 1955 and he was 19 years old. They had one child, then divorced in '58. Then he got married again in '58, divorced in '61. Oh, only three years. And then he marries Gloria his current wife in 1963. Hold on, hold on. So Christians, all the time I've told me you have to get married, you have to do this. I would never live with my boyfriend all of this bullshit. And you're telling me that pastors have marriages at last less than two of my longest relationships. This was before he was a pastor. Oh yeah, it was 1961. His current wife and he got married before he even went to oral Roberts University or founded his first ministry. So this was all early life marriages and divorces. Oh, this is part of his testimony. God yes, definitely part of his testimony and his life of sin and poor decisions and all those things. He's very, very wealthy. As we mentioned, $750 million net worth. And he makes all this money by promising people that if they send their money to him, God will reward them 10fold. Hasn't worked out for any of those people yet, but they keep doing it for some reason. His ministry has been very controversial through the years. He's lived a very lavish lifestyle. He is linked vaccines with autism. He has been very anti-COVID vaccine. That's because I think he is a tube full of demons. He's just, he's quite an enigma. It's hard to explain it all. Obviously, we're going to be playing some clips of him during the show, but I also recommend giving him a YouTube search yourself if you find this interesting at all because he is absolutely fucking nuts. He's been like one of the longest running televangelics. Oh yeah. Has he had any like big scandals? Or is he still interestingly? He has not had any big scandals in the way that Jim and Tammy Febaker are something, right? Like, he's never had anything that really brought him down. He's just always been fucking nuts and says a bunch of crazy stuff, but he hasn't really been subject to a lot of scandal outside of the scandal of his grotesque wealth. Yeah, that's, that's a thing. But yeah, I mean, he's been on television since 1971. So over 50 years, he didn't start out in TV. He was going to the moral oral university for a while there. Moral oral as opposed to the in moral oral that me and I ex used to give each other and then apologize for three hours afterwards. Man, pretty culture was great. Did you apologize to each other to Jesus? To each other and to Jesus ADHD is the bitch. You're gonna edit it out anyway. It's fine. So the Sistine Chapel, my friend just listened to the Ferries episode and we were talking about it. And in a way, religion is just the god fandom. And whoever the fuck painted the chapel was painting his boyfriend. So really, it's just like the furry fan art of back in the day because we were talking about like art patrons and the whole rule of the internet is that every artist gets their money through furry porn. So Ferries are the patrons of the arts of the arts. Like, they would be in the Renaissance. So we have to stop talking about Ferries. I will win John Oliver does. There's like one to three furry jokes every single episode to the point that I'm pretty sure he is one. I think he might be a furry. Absolutely. It's someone on his writing team. It's OK. I'm going to shut the fuck up because I actually do want to get to the content because Kenneth Copeland pisses me off as person. And so I'm just avoiding it. Here's the content. In 1967, he started his ministry. And it wasn't a TV thing at first. He did conventions. That was his bit. Kind of like revival situation might be another way to put it. Right. So he would come into town, do a three to six day situation. Maybe it's out of church. Maybe it's not. It would be him. He would get some other pastors to come to, right? And it would be several nights, three to six nights of straight preaching. They might do stuff during the day at some of them. And that was like his big deal. And they still do it once a year in Fort Worth. It's in the first week of August. So maybe you should pop up there. It's called the Southwest Believers Convention. Can also live stream it. I could. Do you think they would let me in the door? Yes. If they don't, you've got a lawsuit on your hands. You could be the scandal that brings Kenneth Copeland down. Yo, we joke about stuff like that. But that would be my life's work. I'm ready to take bitches down. That is absolutely why we're here. I'm going to shut the fuck up. Keep talking, my connect. But his conventions were so successful that four years later, in 1971, he began a one hour television program that would go down in history called The Word of Faith, which was a big to do. It was the number one prosperity gospel show on television. And it's really how Kenneth Copeland made his name. That's what made him famous. This bitch, all of my childhood trauma links back to this bitch deciding to make a fucking one hour TV show. You're telling me that the reason that I didn't wear bug spray because we had to believe that God wouldn't let the mosquitoes bite us because we proclaim Jesus's name over him is because of this bitch's one hour TV show. I'm so mad. I'm so fucking mad. I don't know if he was particularly faith healing but all of those beliefs stemmed from Word of Faith. So I'm blaming him. Oh no, he's 100% faith healing. He faith healed people from COVID through the television. This is what's so annoying about deconstructing is because it's like, I'm not annoyed at God anymore. I'm not annoyed at Jesus. I am a little bit annoyed at my mom and I am extremely annoyed and hope God will smite down if he was real. Any of these bitches. What I find so frustrating about it is how stupid, almost all of this stuff began. Like it all just comes from the dumbest shit and then it somehow through the years gets and turned into doctrine and generations of people follow it. Yeah, it's like it all came from somewhere and like being able to point it back to a particular person is very important but also infuriating. I feel like I'm unmasking. Like we thought it was a ghost all along. No, it's just fucking Kenneth Copeland and it's Word of Faith movement. It like none of it had to do with anything real and all of these teachings and that's why y'all should all just read this shit for yourselves if you actually wanna believe it 'cause none of the modern Christianity, global warfare against trans people and stuff like that. Like that's not in the Bible. But most people's reading of the Bible has been so indoctrinated. If you've been in Christianity forever, it's very difficult to read the Bible and not take away from it the same shit you've been taught forever because that's what makes the Bible so such a powerful tool is it's very open to interpretation. Yeah, and then you find out later, Mary Magdalene was never a prostitute. They just assumed that because she was a woman in the Bible. Not in the Bible. Kenneth Copeland's ministries today is, he brought this full circle. He bought a Marine Corps air station called Eagle Mountain Lake in Fort Worth and he turned that into Kenneth Copeland Ministries. Interesting little bit of trivia. So he just, he bought like a whole - Old military base. - Air strip runway, whatever 'cause he used to be a pilot. - One, he needed a place to put all his private planes. Yeah, so there's like an airport there. - Yo, I don't know what it is about Christianity and private planes, but do you know what the organization MAF is, Mission Aviation Fellowship? - No. - Have you ever seen the movie End of the Spear? - Oh yeah. - That is about MAF missionaries who would fly planes into the Amazon to reach indigenous peoples that lived in the Amazon and trying to convert them. - Until they got murdered. - Some people died, yeah, but now they're part of Christian and then capitalism and like Christianity is like really fucking up indigenous beliefs and stuff down there now. My best friend growing up, she was a missionary kid. She was an MK4 MAF. So that's how I know about it. But regardless, there are a lot of Christian ministries that involve planes or trains or anything that a dude can get into. - I mean, they gotta be mobile, right? How else you can just spread the good word if you don't have your planes, the trains and automobiles? - Well, and also like if you think about like airplane hangers, like that's a perfect thing to convert into a television studio because it's already just a shit ton of empty space. - And there is so much shit there. He's got his church, of course, Eagle Mountain International Church. He's got TV and radio production facilities, warehouse and distribution facilities, residences for the entire Copeland family and the aptly named Kenneth Copeland Airport. - Like Dallas love field, but like his own person. - That's not that big, but yeah, it's crazy. Over 500 people work there. It's pretty nuts. It's a huge compound. It's like it's own little city, very righteous Jim Stone's esk. - Feeam, okay, okay, okay. - He also opened a college there. So there's the Kenneth Copeland Bible college. He loves putting his name on stuff. He can't help himself. But yeah, he's got a college there that is credited by the trans world accrediting commission international. - Nothing to do with trans people. - Probably nothing to do with education, neither for being honest. (laughing) - But then in 2003, he opened a second campus in fucking British Columbia. - That's in Canada, right? - Yes. (laughing) - There's a Kenneth Copeland Bible college up there. - It's called British Columbia, but like, why, nothing to do with Columbia or Britain? - And yet they speak French-Canadian. - Make it make sense. Imperialism. In their private airplane hangar, he's got a 1998 Sesna 550 citation bravo. He has a 2005 Sesna 750 citation X, a Gulf Stream 5. That's the one he bought from Tyler Perry. And they're also restoring a 1962 beach, 18 twin when traveling internationally, Copeland's airplanes frequently make stops in Maui, Fiji and Honolulu, but the ministry claims that these stopovers are for preaching and allowing the pilots to rest, you know, so they can continue justifying their tax except status. - It's all to not pay taxes because it's all nonprofit private jets. - In 2006, they promised to do a four-year aviation relief assistance program for Haiti called Angel Flight 44 that they never followed through on despite raising a shits on of money by promising to do it. And yeah, the most expensive plane that they bought was Tyler Perry's personal jet from Atlanta. - Can we play that clip? - Yeah, I was about to say, why don't we play that clip of Kenneth Copeland defending his use of private airplanes to a reporter from who's this insider? - I think it's insider addition. - How are you, sir? - We just like to ask you about why you don't want to fly commercial. Why have you said that you won't fly commercial? You said that it's like getting into a tube with a bunch of demons. Why do you think that? - No, listen to me just saying, not the people. The main reason is because of the need. If I flew commercial, I'd have to stop 65% of what I'm doing. - Isn't it true that you want to fly commercial so that you can fly in luxury? How much money did you pay for Tyler Perry's Gulf Stream jet, for example? - Well, for example, that's really none of your business. But-- - Isn't it the business of your donors? - Listen, you kind of caught me off guard here, okay? - Certainly. Well, if you'd like to come out here, I'd like to give you a chance to catch your breath and have a conversation. We don't want to catch an off guard. - I love insider addition. You got to get this now. Hey, you listening to me? My wife thinks insider addition is, oh yeah. (laughing) Now, thank you, Lord, help me. Let me pray to you. - Well, let me just ask you a really simple question. A lot of people think it's unbecoming for a preacher to live a life of luxury and to fly around in private jets. What's your response to that? - It takes a lot of money to do what we do. We have brought over a hundred, let's see, 122 million people to the Lord Jesus Christ. Let me give you another example. Last May, I was scheduled for Legos Nigeria as a long ways. I had a week off and I was scheduled for Peru. And I prayed about it and I thought, I'm not missing that dedication in Jerusalem. Without the airplane that we have, that I bought from Tyler Perry and I didn't pay any more, Tyler's one of the greatest guys. He made it. He made that airplane so cheap. cheap for me. I couldn't help but buy it. Do you ever use your private jets to go visit your vacation homes, for example? Yes, I do. Okay. Again, getting back to the comment, you said that you don't like to fly commercial because you don't want to get into a tube with a bunch of demons. Do you really believe that human beings are demons? No, I do not. And don't you ever say I did. We wrestle not with flesh and blood, but principalities and powers. Can you explain what you meant by that term? Just explain because it's really simple. You said you didn't want to get into a tube with a bunch of demons. What did you mean? The. Well, let me ask you. Do you think that people that fly commercial or demons? Give me a chance to talk sweetheart. I'll explain this to you. But it's a biblical thing. It's a spiritual thing. It doesn't have anything to do with people. People. I love people. Jesus loves people. But people get pushed in alcohol. Do you think that's a good place for a preacher to be and prepare to go preach to a lot of people? When somebody in there is dragging some woman down the aisle, it made me so mad to see that on television. I wanted to punch the guy out myself. I can't be doing that while I'm getting ready to preach. So you just don't like to be around the sinful people or the hurtful people? Is that what you're saying? The people, baby. Not the people. Besides that, I need my clothes when I get there. And so. And you have some fancy clothes. Oh, Jesus. I mean, for a pastor, you are living a life of luxury. You've got great homes. You've got great planes. You drive in limos and. Very wealthy man. You're a very wealthy man. Yes. Yeah. And some people would say that is it. Is it a preacher. May I add something to that? My wealth doesn't come from offerings alone. You sell things, books and DVDs. And I have a lot of natural gas on our property. Didn't know that, did you, babe? Now I do. Yeah, you do. Isn't that wonderful? Well, I guess. It's wonderful for you. So, final question is, a lot of people maybe have a misunderstanding then about what you do in prosperity preaching. So, the final question is this. To those critics that say that a preacher should not be living a life of luxury, what is your response to that? They're wrong. There was another video you sent where actually has the quote, like, smashed up in between that, because she's asking him about him having said it at a prior time. Yes. And there's recordings of him saying these things that he denies saying in the interview, the impromptu interview. It's really good. I love this reporter. Yeah, she's having an hardward him way. Now, I know you're going to want to talk about taxes. I just want to know. He did something really, really shady. So, you don't say a pastor did something shady with the funds that they're not supposed to report on the taxes because it's a, sorry. So, you know how taxes has a law where you don't have to pay property taxes on parsing niches, right? That's where pastors live if they work for a church. Yeah. Why would you separate from a church in state? Traditionally, parsing niches were like small, two bedroom houses that would be built next to a church somewhere in the pastor would live there. The Texas Parcinage Law only allows these parsing niches to be built on a single acre of land. So, what Kenneth Gopland did? What do you do? Sell off a sidewalk around it? Well, he did the opposite. He bought one acre of land, built his mansion on it, then bought 24 acres of land surrounding it as a quote unquote different property. It's kind of smart, though. And, you know, he's got so many different businesses and corporations and shit like, he could easily do the parsing niche under one business and then buy the other 24 acres from, you know, under some other business name. So, they're legally not connected. He slipped out of 150K a year property taxes. This was in 2021. So, I mean, this in the last three years, he saved half a million dollars. I used to have this boss, right? And he got all his money because his brother made the stock market like two seconds faster or some bullshit. And so, during the pandemic, he bought like, he already had like 23, like 300 to $500,000 cars. And so, for more, and then he laid off 600 employees for like all the waiters and stuff, because he was like, they can just go on, get unemployment. He was one of those that like would use the letter of the law to fuck with people. And when people wouldn't sell him their property and he wanted to develop around it, he built a building within one foot of someone's property so that it would kill their bamboo because they wouldn't sell to them. Jesus. And then another person complained about his customers parking in her parking lot and they couldn't come into her store and buy her designer lamps. So, he bought the building that she rented her lamp space and made her move. That's what you can do when you have money. Kenneth Copeland sounds like that kind of rich person. I mean, GPFair, I don't think anyone really got fucked over in this situation other than the Texas state, which whatever, I guess. Yeah, I can't even be mad. Think of all the money that we wouldn't have to cut towards our education if we just made mega church pastors like Joel Osteen and Kenneth Copeland pay their taxes. That 150,000 year would go a long way for the public education system in Texas. 150,000 a year. One of the biggest scandalous things with Kenneth Copeland is probably his political involvement. He's definitely crossed the line of tax exempt separation of church and state kind of situation. You can be tax exempt and then be one of Trump's special 60 pastor advisory board. So yeah, he was on Trump's evangelical political advisory board. I fucking called it. James Dobson was also on there. Lord, so is my mom's pastor. That is her pride and joy. It was not her pastor advisory strump. What was interesting is when he was appointed to this board, he clarified, quote unquote, clarified that he did not endorse Trump at the time. However, prior to that, he was videoed telling Christians during a speech or a sermon that any Christian who didn't vote for Trump would be guilty of murder because of Hillary Clinton's stance on abortion. That doesn't mean he supports Trump. He just thinks that everyone that doesn't support Trump is murderer. That feels like an endorsement to me. Feels like when my uncle who didn't believe in the Holocaust tried to convince me to vote for Trump because all of the white people were going to be rounded up and put in internment camps. If Trump didn't win, you know, like that type of crazy. And I just feel like Kenneth Copeland having a platform and being that kind of crazy is I don't think the political advisory board had any actual sway at the end of the day, but it is alarming that Kenneth Copeland was on the short list of people who needed to be on it. In recent years, he has made a bit of a comeback in terms of pop culture and outside of the exclusively Christians fear because he was very, very, very outspoken about the COVID-19 pandemic lockdowns and vaccines. Well, you can't believe in vaccines if you believe that God can heal you with a word because like, why would you need modern medicine? But I want to know what is the health insurance policy like for all of his staff? I couldn't say. It's probably, I don't know. I don't know. Like, because a lot of them try to get out of paying like so much shit for health insurance because they don't want to play for like birth control. They don't want to. Well, I want to find a job application. I'm just curious. All times throughout the pandemic in 2020 and 2021 said that it was over and that God had given him authority to end the pandemic. He encouraged people watching his show to continue typing, even if they had lost their jobs. As whole, 10% of your income, if you lost your job, you have no income. He's still held the conference, the Southwest Believer's conference in 2020. They never missed a year. I don't like him. No, it just, it seems a little bit slimy. Let's play a quick clip here of him speaking absolute nonsense about COVID-19 on his show a couple years ago. This is on the back of a Chlorox cleaning solution. It'll kill the virus. It'll kill every virus. So hey, come on. The cut. I don't like COVID. I'm scared to death and blood. You listen to me. Do you love me? Do you love me? And you're asking for the virus. Stop it right now. Believe. You stop that fear right now. Stop that fear. Believe. I'll blame, does it need to be? That's right. Now you stop that fear. Cut it out right now. Fear is sin. You get that? It's not okay. When I, the kiss is old and nasty, big, stinking neck. I can't do that. But my faith I can. Yes. I'm healed in the name of Jesus. Oh, God, I'm loaded with car. Yeah, you probably will. Amen. There's another funny thing that it's not funny. It's terrible. But there was a big outbreak of measles in Tarant County where Copeland Ministries is based and health experts there and people in the community in general all blamed against Copeland Ministries because so many of the people that went to church there were anti-vaccine and involved in anti-vaccine movements. However, in response to this, they did have free vaccine clinics that they set up on site for people to come get vaccinated. His daughter, pastor Terry Copeland Parsons, headed up that whole thing and she said that she wasn't anti-vaccine, but she did still talk about concerns of autism and mercury poisoning and things. They tried to help out a little bit there, I think, but then he just completely blew all that off once what's COVID happened. I'm glad they reversed course though, because that means a lot of people got vaccinated that probably wouldn't have other ones. Yes, but they have not reversed course on COVID-19 vaccines, but they did on the measles thing. What about the Gays, Jay? How does Kenneth Copeland feel about homosexuals? I'm sure he's not about us. Do they think that if you went to a pride event and started speaking Jesus over that people would just like suddenly and like their glitter would come off and they would start talking about Kansas City chiefs? Like what? I don't know. I don't think so. I don't think you can faith heal homosexuality. I mean, I know you can't, but I don't think even according to them. When I went to Jesus culture conferences put on by Bethel Ministries from California that combines new age philosophies with Christianity and a Pentecostal thing that got them kicked out of the Pentecostal movement, they would have onstage testimonies about like going up to pray for people in Home Depot and those people like being completely cleaned of AIDS. Cleaned of AIDS. And after a month of like staying in touch with the person, they're no longer in the homosexual lifestyle anymore. Because yes, every gay person has AIDS and it's going to die of it. No. Also, take your prep, go get condoms, use them every time, wear condoms on the strap, go get tested every three months. Okay, that's my that's my soapbox. It's like your fourth one. I'm on so many soapboxes. It's a real balancing act. But yeah, pretty anti gay from their website, they say that homosexualities are a billion against God's sovereign design and a perversion of his perfect plan. They link homosexuality and pedophilia. They do all the stuff you expect. They quote all the clobber passages. But most of the time, homosexuality, and I think this is something that's kind of interesting about Kenneth Copeland's ministry is it has been a lot more politically driven than morally driven. And I mean that in that like most of the time when homosexuality comes up, it comes up as a sin. Yes. But usually in the context of like, should you vote for a democratic candidate or things you need to know about this legislation that just passed or that kind of thing, it's not usually a standalone topic for them. It's usually like in a political context. Not that that makes it any better, but it do think it makes it a little different than most of the people we've covered. Like I feel like it's a losing battle with like the Methodists and how they split. Yeah. But like eventually the other Methodists that were in regression are gonna come around in like 50 years. Like no, everyone's gonna be so gay that they're gonna be like you still have a problem with this. The fuck is wrong with you with Copeland in particular. The obvious irritating point here is how much of the Bible he ignores or reinterprets to justify his immense wealth. Right. Like the fucking camel in the eye of the needle. Like Jesus doesn't like you. He gets pissed at people an opulent wealth. You know, he claims that the disciples were all wealthy men. Right. But they weren't. No. No. Due to straight it in Jesus for like 32 pieces of silver, which they're like at the time it was like a thousand dollars. I'm like, okay, well, my thousand dollars will only pays for my rent for one month. I don't know. Maybe maybe I'm doing Jesus wrong in adjusting the hit on him for inflation. I mean, to be fair, you sold out Jesus for just a little bit of podcast cloud. It wasn't Jesus so much as I felt like my whole life. I've been living a lie similar to how shadow heart was brought up to believe in char. Yes. Let's make this about Baldur's cake. Yes. If we can just make it something more relatable right now, you know how involved you've all played Baldur's cake, right? Everyone has played it. The way Christians assume like growing up, I didn't know that it was offensive to ask what church you could go to because I'd only ever lived in Waco and everyone went to church on Sunday. Like clubs weren't a thing. Like going out wasn't a thing. It was what church do you go to? What do you believe? What do you do? What like group are you in? What section are you in? Who's your accountability partner? Oh, okay. Cool. Cool. Like how connected are you? Like I need to see that you're following Jesus. Sounds like a blast. My dating standards back then, I like wrote down a thing of like, who should your future husband be? And I was like, God, like, please let him play guitar and be a worship leader. Like, oh, my God. Honestly, that's a dream you could still make a reality. First of all, you should never trust anyone that wants to be a worship pastor. They're slut. They're slut. They're slut. Not slut-shaming. I am a slut. But they're the sluts of evangelicalism. They are absolutely. They are the person that will kiss you and then tell the pastor and then, you know, I don't know. I just, I don't trust worship pastors. Do you trust regular pastors? No. You know, I trust women pastors. Because like, I have no idea what you went through to have to go through seminary and to do all of this stuff just to be teaching a religion that still is upheld by so many people that believe patriarchy that do not want you teaching it. Like, what are you even doing? Well, also, you must believe harder than anyone fucking else to have gone through it. So I respect women pastors. I don't feel comfortable giving a blanket. I respect all female pastors because I think there's almost certainly some out there that are hugely problematic, maybe like Kenneth Copeland's daughters. Yeah. You know what? Now that I said it, I want to take it back. It's like those, those progress memes and it's like, Oh, now the, now the plane dropping a bomb on everyone has a gay flag and says BLM, but it's still dropping bombs on everyone. Yeah, it's exactly like that. I'm so off topic today. I am so sorry for you having to edit everything, but I love you. What if we talk about what actually brought us to even Kenneth Copeland to begin with, which is the Wichita Slim movies? Yo, so we started doing this Wichita Slim thing, right? We just wanted to do a thing about Christian Westerns. Yeah, we wanted to do Christian Westerns. Cowboy Carter had just come out. It was like three months ago. We were shooting shit. And then I start googling Kenneth Copeland and then I googled his tax ID for his ministry and there was like 60 ministries, but I was just like, this is huge and he's done so much. Like, if we just listed out like all of the places that he's been involved in ministry through whatever, you made me sit through so many episodes of this man's shitty ass western three full movies, three feature length movies that he co-produced with gospel bill, Willie George. Right, but we also just watched the other ones. We've watched so many Christian Westerns lately that like, I don't even want to see a Western. Not even a regular Western. I've never wanted to see a regular Western, but like, I don't even want to watch Westworld anymore. Like just really ruined the entire genre for you. There's no plot. I'm just watching a VBS of, oh, well, he did bad. Oh, well, he's a bad person, but it's okay because he forgot his memory when he was doing bad things. So these movies, there are three feature length films, but they're set in the gospel bill universe. So like dry, gulches in it, but there are other locations too. Dry, gulches also the name of my pussy. Good one. Thanks. And gospel bill is in it, but they're about this other character called witch toss slim, who is an ex outlaw turned us marshal played by Kenneth Copeland, so he could live out his cowboy dreams. What I really like about them is that they try to bring a more serious side of the like, trying to be a serious Western, but then all of the like goofball characters from gospel bill, they're still in it. And they're still like the same characters. Like when they get into town, it's like they're in a cartoon town. It absolutely is a cartoon town because you've got your lady who runs the general store. You've got the boy whose dad's dead, but everyone knows him and he stays on his horse at all times. Why does the boy have a horse? We don't need to spend too much time on these because they really are just kind of souped up gospel bill episodes, but they do try to be more serious, I think, very unsuccessfully. Some particularly weird things were equating faith in religion with like law and order, which maybe that's not weird, that happens a lot, but it was something that came through very strong when Wichita Slim found Jesus, that's when he became a US Marshal. A lot of these things like equating religion with law and order, which is inherently problematic. He couldn't help himself from doing the prosperity gospel stuff silly. There was like one bit where he was like mighty fine wagon you got there. Lord wants his people to have nice things. Don't forget that. - Yeah, he like straight up, I noticed that. He was just like, oh well God wants you to have a nice wagon. God wants you to have a nice Bible. Like it was so prosperity gospel. He has a brand and he's sticking to it. The Bible was kind of underplayed in its importance. It was like, I don't know, on one hand, it was kind of a mcguffin for him because he was searching for it and there's a whole plot line with the Bible, but what the Bible actually says is completely irrelevant. It's more of a thing where you just gotta believe and you gotta lead people to Christ. It's not about them reading and comprehending the Bible, which I think says a lot about Kenneth Copeland's approach to ministry because he doesn't really want people who follow him to read or comprehend the Bible. - So remember how earlier I was checking on the job descriptions on his website? - In the terms and conditions of all the stuff you have to agree to to work there. It says must be discerning patient and able to make a judgment calls with moderate supervision. (babbling) Boringon believer and must adhere to the doctrines of this organization as I've held by Kenneth and Gloria Copeland and their appointed representatives. Must work well with others according to Romans 6, 17 and must not cause dissension, difficulties and division. - That's a lot. - And then it goes on, 'cause didn't need to have something where he hates the equality act. - Oh yeah. - Because of the wide range of personal contact with ministry leaders within and outside the organization in this position requires considerable diplomacy, maturity and excellent communication skills and ability to work with people of all cultures. But also we hate gay people. - Yeah, but you want to be able to interact so you can evangelize. - People have all cultures, but we also want to change all their cultures and delete homosexuality. - I mean, they want to create a monoculture, obviously, but they still need to be able to interact with these cultures so that they can convert them to their prosperity, charismatic monoculture. There was a bit of chick track vibe in these, I thought, where the scenario was presented that doesn't matter how you live your life, but as long as you accept Jesus into your heart at the last minute, you're good to go. - That's why I'm just gonna live my life the way I want to and then. - But you never know when your time's gonna come, Jane, you might not have chance. - Look, if I die on a roller coaster, I think in the split second before my brain stops waving, I can be like, yo, please save me, thanks, bye. - I don't know if it's gonna work. That's not true faith. - For all of them saved through grace, and it's not from your stiles, it's a gift of God not by work so that no man can boast. - So take that. (laughing) (laughing) I wanna know what Bible verse it is, but it's burned into my brain. - It's a classic. My favorite thing about Wichita Slim is how normal Wichita Slim is compared to Kenneth Copeland's actual regular public persona. - Honestly. - Like Wichita Slim, just see, it's like, that is the closest he's ever come to acting like a regular person. It's what he was playing Wichita Slim. - Yeah, Wichita Slim is like Kenneth Copeland's version of the man in black from West Worlds. Like, he dresses the same, he just wants a rare. - Yeah, very like low-key kind of performance. - Occasionally, has Amnesia just goes along with things in trust to do what's right? - But he was so saved that even when he had Amnesia, the Holy Spirit and his heart wouldn't let him do bad things like he used to do because it'd been saved. And even though he didn't remember being saved or anything about God, God was still residing within his heart because Amnesia can't erase the Holy Spirit. - It annoys me when people attribute your conscience and your inner voice to the Holy Spirit because you have to learn, re-learn to trust your inner voice. - Yeah, huge problem. - And re-learning that it's okay, but it's also you talking to yourself. And also the fucking hubris of Christians to believe that without God, we're just gonna go and do all sorts of wild, crazy debaucher stuff simply because we have no voice inside telling us it's wrong. And it's just like, well, we don't get our moral compass from a book, but like, I'm not gonna murder someone, Jesus. - My question on the Holy Spirit thing that has always haunted me even when I was younger and when I was a believer is that there's all these people who claim to have the Holy Spirit and hear the Holy Spirit. Why is the Holy Spirit not telling them all the same thing? Why are they all getting different and conflicting messages? It makes no sense. - Yeah, like, why did the Holy Spirit tell that guy in life group, "Oh, you're the person that God wants me to marry?" Really? 'Cause he didn't tell me that. - Well, it's because one of you was listening to the Holy Spirit and one of you wasn't. - Right, and that happened to a girl in my cult and she was like, "No, God didn't tell me that I was supposed to marry you." And because she spoke up and said that, she lost all of her friends 'cause everyone in life group, they just stopped hanging out with her because the other guy was a life group leader and he would know more what God says. - Obviously. - So why didn't she go along with it in Mariam? And it's just like, that is so fucking predatory. - It's insane. - Anyway, gospel bill. - Which it's all slim, the dynamic duo. - I guess that's it. - We didn't cover a lot of this stuff that you researched and I do feel bad because you've got some great stuff over here. Like, there stands on how Christians can't vote Democrat. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just pulled out the parts that related to being gay but that is kind of funny. Well, talk about it then. Bring it, you introduce it. What's up with it? - So this is from an article on Kenneth Kildman's website, titled "Can a Christian Vote Democrat" and the article goes on to say some people think if it doesn't affect them directly, it's no big deal. The truth is there's no such thing as a law that doesn't impact everyone in some way. Consider recent legislation in California which softens criminal penalties for LGBTQ adults who have sex with minors. - Here's the thing with this is this whole law that he's referring to was an anti-LGBTQ law because here's what the thing was, is they had like a bracket of consent, right? That like whatever. If you were 17, you could still date a 19 year old or you know what I mean? There's a good buffer area for ages there if you're under 18. But one of the provisions of that law was that homosexual activities were not protected by this. So it was essentially a law that only applied for straight people and gay people could be prosecuted for it. Like if a 19 year old had sex with a 17 year old, if they were straight that would be fine, but if it would be technically illegal, if they were gay. And they just repealed that in California and made it the same for everyone regardless of your orientation. And that's what he's referring to here. And trying to frame it as if it's designed for adults to have sex with minors. - It's also frustrating because like if they actually cared about stopping sex with minors, then address the marriage laws in every state. Focus on the legislation that will actually protect kids. Protect kids from old men trying to marry them super young when they're virginal, but then no one would be, who would be left for the youth pastors to marry. And I feel like we point fingers both sides. Like church looks at gay people and it's like pedophiles. Gay people look at the church and we're just like pedophiles. (laughing) - Yes, but what if it's correct? - What if it's correct and the other one is Drake and it's the church? - The church is Drake. - The church is, the church said a minor, anyways. (upbeat music) - It's like focus on the family. They taught everyone to hate their gay kids and now they're selling them. How to fix your family, now that it's broken. - Like they live true to their word. They focused on their family and now they're refocusing on the family. - Did Kenneth Copeland do anything like that? Like a lot of the people that we've focused on in the show when we've talked about like focus on the family and Dr. James Stopson and like how they have their fingers and like every fucking like prayer breakfast and abortion stuff. - Kenneth Copeland is not as much in that world. He's more of an entertainer. James Stopson and Jerry Falwell, like their crusaders. - Yeah, their crusader, like James Stopson is the one that's like giving everyone a son of grand machine so that they can build fake pregnancy centers so that you'll keep your baby. And like it's a lot more targeted. I feel like Kenneth Copeland's just evil because he just saw like the overwhelming wealth of oral Roberts and the Christian aviation ministries and was just like, I wanna be a pilot. and just have people give me money all my life. - Like his political involvement has only ever been in service of drumming up controversy or having talking points. He's never seemingly been super involved in political action. - And piss that he exists and is taking people's money and he's been one of the longest running televangelists and a lot of other more harmful people have patterned their stuff after him. - That is true. - The bullshit about him in particular is just that it is ophthalent wealth. It is against a lot of just regular Christian teachings of giving a shit about your neighbor and not building up a lot of wealth for yourself, building up treasures in heaven, caring about the people around you. But as far as like getting rich and taking people's money, like he's basically just living his best life as though he was Cardi B. - Yeah, he's a fucking baller. - I bet you he probably has a crypto ledger that's being ruled just like her. - He's a capitalist through and through. That's all he has. He's just an opportunist. He's saw an opening. He seized on it and he made the absolute most of it. - I was thinking the other day, I was like, would I have made this podcast if I had still been Christian and straight? And I think I still probably, first of all, I wouldn't have still been Christian and straight. But also like this stuff still pissed me off when I was a Christian. - Sure. - Like I got bullied and called liberal in school growing up. When I thought I was still a Republican 'cause I would just get annoyed at like rich pastors and shit like that. - Well, you wanna wrap this up then? - Yeah, I wish that we had like some sort of game to play. I would love to know what gospel bill character you are, but there's just. - There's nothing out there. - There's not a lot of characters. - We can definitely drum up a game for next week's episode, which is gonna be about Bible man. - Oh my God, we're doing Bible man next. - Yeah, sorry, so excited. I don't know if so excited is the right word, but I am ready to be traumatized. I mean, you say next week, but let's be realistic. It's probably a two week. - It's always two weeks. Next episode. - Look, you'll get it when you get it and you'll be happy when you hear it. Okay, that's all I need. - I'm pretty consistent about getting it out every two weeks right on the dot. - I don't notice time passing. - You would notice it if you had to sit here and edit all these episodes. We done here? - I think so. - I think we're done. I can't wait to talk about Bible man. I am so done with Kenneth Copeland. I don't wanna think about this bitch again. - Well, unfortunately Kenneth Copeland is not done with you. - Kenneth Copeland will never be done with me because I want to see his career ruined. I wanna see every televangilist career ruined. - You should make it your personal crusade. You should be the Jerry Fallwell of anti-televangilist. - What do you think this podcast is, Clint? That is what we are here to do. - This is your first foray. - This is our first iteration. - Thanks for listening everyone to yet another episode of Howagay.com. We will be back in two weeks with the Bible man episode which is something we've been talking about doing. There's one of the first topics we ever discussed covering on the show and we haven't done it yet. So very excited. I'm gonna be picking out some select episodes for us to watch and of course, taking into the history of it because I don't know anything about its origins. - I heard that he lost all his money and came home. It was like a whole thing. I don't know. We're about to find out. That's why we're going to do it. That's what we're doing. - Oh, babies. Thank you for listening. We do this for free and we don't actually make any money through it and we should because the research that we do is valuable. Shout out to our $15 and $5 Patreon subscribers. You guys pay to keep our website online and one of these days I will put screenshots on it. Thank you so much. We also do sell merch. It's probably overpriced because I sat everything to like $69 for the memes, but you should still buy it. (laughing) - It's definitely all overpriced, but it costs a lot to get this shit made and it's super cool. - It's made to order so you should buy it so that you can get it made for you. - Just made to order like a good pizza. - Yeah, exactly. And then there's, yeah, you get to own one of only a few hoodies in the entire world. - Limited edition. - Yeah, it's limited edition. We're on Instagram. We're on other social media too. - Check us out on LinkedIn if you're in the corporate world. - Yeah, I've posted about this on LinkedIn before. I just talk about how successful my podcast is and hope to God that no one listens to it. Nobody ever validates anything on LinkedIn. It doesn't matter. - Sle. - We will see everyone back here in two weeks for Bible, man. - Thank you so much. Bye, everyone. (upbeat music) - We can through all of that, all of that, you know, all of them, the real stuff. The link has shown about commensions of that stuff. (laughing) (upbeat music) (upbeat music)