Why You Should Never Feed a Potato Chip to a Kangaroo/The Never Ending Story Story

Hey grownups, Lee here. See Story Pirates Live! Our amazing touring cast, including Eric, will be visiting some East Coast cities this spring to perform some of your favorite songs from the podcast. And they'll take suggestions from kids in the audience to create a brand new story that will only be seen once. Best of all, all of our upcoming shows are on weekends, so no need to worry about school nights or bedtime routines. We'll see you soon in Munhal, Pennsylvania, just outside of Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, Ohio, Port Smith, New Hampshire, Metford, Massachusetts, just outside of Boston, and Richfield, Connecticut. Tickets to all the shows are on sale now at storypires.com/live. Hey Story Pirates podcast listeners, Lee here. Today's episode has brand new inventions, Evil King Aruse, Duck Liter, a mind-blowing trip down the rabbit hole of storytelling itself, and so much more. All of that coming up after these quick words for the grownups. (upbeat music) (buzzer) Attention everyone, please find your seats in the theater. The presentation will begin shortly. - Hey Rachel, Peter, did Megan tell you what this is all about? - I think she's announcing some new product. - Yeah, why else would you wear a turtle neck? - A product? I didn't even know she had a company. - Shhh, it's starting. - Innovation. On the SS title wave, it happens all the time. Hello all. You may know me as Megan, actress, story pirate, and friend of Elvis Presley impersonator, Elvin Parsley. But that's not all I am. I'm also the CEO of InfoniminiT. The most cutting edge tech company on this side of the Earth's crust. - Infoniminiity? - You may have not heard our company's name before, but you've certainly enjoyed our products in the past. The anti-smush suit, the goo analyzer, the toaster oven. - I use that last one very frequently. - InfoniminiT's products are all around us, and it's all thanks to our lead engineer. Her tireless dedication to innovation has brought us to where we are today. That's why I'm proud to announce a brand new invention that will completely change the way you live your lives. Finally, I'm tired of living my life without whatever mystery product you're about to announce. - Yes, I've been waiting for this ever since I learned about it a few seconds ago. - Now without further ado, I present to you the mind behind our next big product. - Infonimini. - Infonimini, that's your cue. - It looks like it, I don't see her. - What's going on? - I can really use the toaster right now. - Infonimini, where are you? - She's invisible. - No, Peter, I think she's just not here. Oh, also surprising. - I love story timing. We were just born and said, "Hey, why don't we write a story?" I have a huge imagination. If you only use your eyes, then you'll see less stuff. The perspective of a reader is different from the perspective of a writer. We inspire each other. And the world will never be the same. - The story pirates. - Welcome back to the Story Pirates Podcast, where we take stories written by kids and turn them into sketch comedy and songs. - Yeah, it is a little weird that I said that out loud when you're the only other person in the lab. What'd I do that? - Okay, bye, Lufa. - Niminity. - Ah, again, careful where you're kicking that door. - You didn't show up to the Infonimini keynote address. - The what? - Infonimini, our tech company. I sent you a long email with all your lines and cues and everything. - Oh, I thought that was a joke. - I don't do jokes. You know that comedy is beneath me. - Really? We routinely turn stories into sketch comedy. - There's no time for this. Everybody is expecting you to invent something brand new and revolutionary. How long do you need to invent something the world's never seen? - About the links of a story? - Great, then we'll do one of those. Preferably one with zero jokes. - Um, and here to introduce it is the author. - Hi, I'm Tyson, I'm 11 years old, and I live in Utah. And this is my story. Why you should never feed a potato chip to a king guru. - I can't believe I'm finally going to get my very own pet. - You're finally responsible enough to take care of one, Tim. - Thanks, love. - Wait a minute, this isn't the pet store we pass by every day. - It says Australian pet store. - Well, it pets the pet, let's go in. (bell rings) - Good eye, mites. Welcome to Australian pet store. - We've got the finest selection of animals from down under. - Up above. - My name's Dingo Migg do-do. And I'm delighted to help you. - Are you wrestling an alligator? - Of course not. - This is a crocodile. - Ah! - Three, two, one. - Oh, win. - Bit of luck next time, crook. (bell rings) - Sorry about that. Now, if you're looking for a pet, you've come to the right place. How about a koala? This one's been bought my pinky finger for an entire hour. - Thanks a lot. (cow mooing) - Ouch. - No thanks. So what else do you have? - Here's one that might be more to your liking, the Australian cone snail. - You think extremely venomous? - Pass. You drive a hard bargain. This third animal is only for my bravest customers. A kangaroo. (bell rings) Mom, can we get him? - I was thinking of a more normal quirky pet, like a tarantula or a cockatiel. - Please. - All right. It's not like a kangaroo is going to try to take over the world or anything. - Probably not. - Probably. - Hooray! I'm getting a pet kangaroo! - What kangaroo to go? (bell rings) Hello, kangaroo. - I think I'm gonna name you. - Jumperoo. (bell rings) - Now, to properly take care of a kangaroo, you have to remember three things. One, provide him with fresh water. Two, give him lots of love. And off say the most important for last. Never feed him a potato chip, because. - Croaking! The amused have gotten loose. You'll have to finish that sentence lighter. - But what happens if I feed a kangaroo with potato chips? - Fish down to it and you'll be fine! - So, well, time to take Jumperoo home. This is your new home, Jumperoo. (dog barking) Now it's time to take care of you exactly like the pet shop owner said. First, I'll provide you with fresh water. Next, I'll give you lots of love coming for a hug, buddy. (dog barking) Oh, I love you, too. (laughs) And finally, that's it. There were only two things. In a totally unrelated thought, I'm hungry for potato chips. (laughs) (bubbles) These sure are tasty. Oops, I dropped one. (bubbles) You ate the chip. Hey, give me my chips back. (bubbles) Jumperoo, you ate all my chips. Now I have to go to the kitchen to get a different snack. (bubbles) Let's see. Milk? No. Old yogurt. Aha, carrots and hummus. Oh, Jumperoo. I've got a tasty three, four. Ah, Jumperoo, you're floating in mid-air. It's called levitating Tim. You can talk, but that's not all I can do. Watch out for my laser eyes. Ouch! I order you to give me more flat, salty, tasty snacks so I can take over the world. (bubbles) Mom, help! What's wrong, sweetie? It's Jumperoo. He was floating and shooting lasers out of his eyes and threatening to take over the world. Don't be silly. Kangaroos can't talk. Right, Jumperoo? (bubbles) Oh, would you look at that? He's innocently whistling. He was talking, Mom. Wow, would you look at the time? I'm gonna be late for Ma Zhong. (bubbles) Don't leave me alone with this. Where'd he go? Maybe I should follow the trail of kangaroo hairs. (bubbles) Hey, why is my window open? I'll just walk over and close it. Hello. Jumperoo, you're levitating again. Bring me salty flats next, Timothy. I don't think that I should. We can do this the easy way or the hard way. Is that a threat? It is. Thank you so much for noticing. Now watch as I assemble a kangaroo army in your yard. What's that thing? (bubbles) Let's kangaroos everywhere. Wait a minute. Is this happening because I fed you potato chips? (bubbles) Chips give kangaroos superpowers and a tasteful world domination, Timothy. Now bring us more chips. Never. In fact, I'm shutting this window. (bubbles) (bubbles) How am I gonna stop these kangaroos from taking over the world? Are you looking for a pit? Petster guy? Oh, I must have left the TV on. Oh, Morrow is. If you boy a pit kangaroo, never ever. - I've defeated a potato chip. - Too late. - But if you did feed it a potato chip, the next step is to feed it gross. - I can do that. - Of course, the only way to get a kangaroo to eat gross is (crashing) - Oh no, the eating's a waste. I'll have to finish this commercial wider. - Not again. - Also, weird choice to air an unfinished commercial. I've got to get Jumperu to eat grass. First, I'll need to get all the potato chips in the house. - Hey Jumperu! - Ah, you brought me chips. Your compliance pleases me. (crying) - I shall be the ruler of the snacks, and then we shall rule the world. - Jips! - Yeah, definitely. It's just too bad you didn't want the real treat. - What could possibly be better than these holy snacks? - Oh, just this delicious grass. Try it. - You first. - Ah, okay. - Ah, um. - Oh, um. So good. - Good. Gather round, kangaroos. I, the ruler of the snacks, shall take the first bite. - Kangaroos, you must try this. (crying) - Thank you, Timberlake, for feeding us this delicious grass. Now we take over. (crying) - You're back to normal, and all the kangaroos are leaving. (crying) - I'm so glad to have you back to normal, buddy. (crying) - Oi, I'm so glad I caught up with you. - Pet, store guy? - I tracked you down via your credit card information to finish my sentence. You should never feed a kangaroo a potato chip, 'cause it'll cause them to try to take over the world. - I know. - Oh, well, all right then. Just one last thing to tell ya, kangaroos must always. - Oh no, dangerous ones. - Oh, yeah, woo. - How does this guy stay in business? The end. - That's the world. That story was fantastic. - Okay, listen, I could talk about how much I love that story all day, and often it feels like that's all I ever talk about on this podcast, but I've got to know. How's the new invention coming? - I'm actually done. - Tada! Is that a bag? - Yeah, I mean, it's not just any bag. It's got lots of room so you can carry everything. - Nimini, I'm running a tech company, not a convention center. - A convention center? - Convention centers give out a lot of bags. - Sorry, it's just that I've noticed a lot of clutter around the ship, and I thought this might be something that people would need. - Something that they need, okay, that's cute. I see. - Nimini, let me tell you a little bit about how we do things at Infinity. - The company that you started and named after me 10 minutes ago? - That's the one. You say, we don't give people things they need. We give people things they didn't know they need. So you're asking me to invent something that nobody wants. - I'm asking you to invent something that they will want, even if they don't understand what it is yet. Before, Chili's. Did people want their baby back ribs? Before, the Backstreet Boys. Did people want it that way? Before MTV, did people want their MTV? - I guess not. - That's because Chili's, the Backstreet Boys, and MTV all believed in innovation. So do we. My job as an artist is to have big ideas. And your job as a scientist is to bring those ideas to life. We are the marriage of art and science. Together, we can do anything. Together, we can create anything. Together, we are infinity. And at infinity, the possibilities are infinite. - Again. That was inspiring. Way more inspiring than any of your one-woman shows. - Okay. - Rude, but I'll take it. - I know exactly what to do. I'll just need a few moments, but I'll meet you on the stage. - Do you think the show's over? - We've been sitting in this theater for a long time, and my legs are starting to go numb. - I have to go to the bathroom. But I'm afraid I'm gonna miss something. - Personally, I'm starving, but I know that this is all part of the show, and that will be rewarded for our dedication and patience. - Fellow story pirates, welcome to the second half of the "Infinity Presentation." I hope you enjoyed the intermission, where you had the opportunity to stretch your legs, use the bathroom, and get yourself some snacks. - My legs! - My stomach! - My bladder! - My precious legs! - And now the moment you've all been waiting for, the lead engineer of "Infinity." - Nimmity! - Bye! - Bye, bye, you're here! - Hi, everyone! - Hi, Nimmity! - When Megan first came to me with her vision for "Infinity," I wasn't sure what I could possibly invent that would give everyone what they want before they even knew it. - That's when it hit me. I'll build exactly that, a technology that learns what you want before you want it and delivers it directly to you. I present the "Infinity Cube." - Whoa! - Whoa! - It's so cube-like. - By manipulating the properties of the multiverse and combining it with cutting-edge machine learning algorithms, this cube can not only determine what you want, but it can transport it directly into this dimension. - Huh, and what exactly do those big words mean and the little ones while you're at it? - I think she combined imagination with smart robots to bring us stuff. - Oh, neat. Can I have a sandwich? - The "Infinity Cube" delivers! - Wow! - I'd like a new bike. It's even my favorite color, metal! - Yeah, and could I have. (laughing) - Whoa! A duck that does my taxes is cube does everything. And it comes with a duck litter box. - Huh, a bunch of spare bike tires. - A toilet? Why would we need a. - Ooh. - I hate that sandwich too fast. - Oh, please. - Mimini, the "Infinity Cube" is giving us too much stuff! The room's filling up with too many incredible things. - Oh! - Is that 12 Oscars? - Oh, but I've always wanted 13. - I have so many people to thank. - Everyone just flew down. You have to stop wanting things, otherwise the cube will never stop. - But I don't want anything else. - Me neither. - Honestly, I could use another sandwich. - Peter! - Okay, okay. Maybe later. - That's the problem. It's giving us all the stuff we'll want in the future. - But we're always gonna want stuff at some point. How do we stop it? - I think it might be too late. We can't stop the cube! - We'll be right back. Our amazing touring cast including Eric will be visiting some East Coast cities this spring to perform some of your favorite songs from the podcast. We'll see you soon in Munhal, Pennsylvania, just outside of Pittsburgh. Cincinnati, Ohio, Port Smith, New Hampshire, Metford, Massachusetts, just outside of Boston, and Richfield, Connecticut. Tickets to all the shows are on sale now at story pirates.com/live. - This is so much fun! - Oh my god! - Oh, I don't think there's any way to stop the cube from spitting out more and more stuff. - Nimini, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. - I didn't listen, even when you said we should be inventing things that people need. Maybe we would have been better off with your bag invention. Even if it is, we're less exciting than a magic cube. - Wait a minute, that's it! We can use the bag to clear up all this clutter. - Huh? I know you said it was big, but how could it possibly fit all this stuff? - The bag is lined with a pocket universe that houses an infinite amount of space. - (laughs) Okay, wait a minute, the lead. You didn't mention any of that before. - That's incredible! - I said it had lots of room. - Okay, remind me to schedule a branding meeting later on. You could have a good product, but if you don't know how to pitch it, - I can! - Right, of course. Let's clear all this stuff up first. - Here, I'll hold the bag open, you shovel it in. (grunts) - Quick, coffee infinity cubeins! (grunts) - So long infinity cube, thanks for the ockers! (grunts) (dramatic music) - It worked! (laughs) - We did it! (laughs) - Niminity, Megan, what kind of bag is that? - Oh, this? It's called, um. - The infinity bag. With a literally endless amount of space, it can store anything. Like I said, at infinity, the possibilities are infinite. - It can store anything? Even me? - Sure! - Take a look inside! - Wow, okay, here I go! (grunts) (dramatic music) - I don't know what I just saw, but I need to sit down. - How much is it? Oh, we're not selling this. - Right, Megan? Do we sell things? - Like for money? (laughs) No, no, no. No, I'm just doing this because I like the magnificent presentations. and Nimini invents such incredible things to present. And I'm just doing it so that we'll have what we need for our adventures. But I'll admit, it did make me feel pretty special to have Meg and Hyde been up my work. Oh, Nimini! Wow, a cube, a bag, and a loving friendship? This has been the best Infiniminity presentation I've ever seen! Peter, how many other infiniminity presentations have you seen? Well, when I looked into the Infinity Bag I saw. far too much. Wow, ominous! Well, let's bring this Infiniminity presentation to a close. By doing another story? Exactly. And here to introduce it is the author. Hi, my name is Maggie. I'm 13 years old and I live in Washington. This is my story, the never-ending story story. Huh, what a great day to be a person alone at home. Nothing to do but relax. Did you say? Tell me a story. What? No! Who are you? And what are you doing in my house? I think what you mean to ask is. What story? That is not accurate. Why these story, of course. Gather round and I'll tell you the tale. Sounds like I don't have much of a choice. You don't. Once upon a time there was a girl named Natasha. Her biggest dream was to become the youngest author in the world. Mom, mom! Whoa Natasha, what is it? I finished my rough draft. The first step on my way to becoming the youngest author in the world. Ooh, how exciting. Would you read it to me? I would love to. It all started with the Library Writing Contest. Allison couldn't wait to share her story with the judges. Judges, here is our next writing submission from a young woman named Allison. Page 1. Mrs. Reed, the librarian at Riverside Middle School, had noticed that there was a high demand for origin stories at the school. So she searched the shelves of her local bookstore. Ah, Mrs. Reed, welcome. Can I help you find a book? Wait, hold it just up. What is all this mumbo jumbo about? It's just a story. What do you call it? A never ending story story? A story about a story about a story about a story? This is the most confusing thing I've ever heard in my life. Oh, for heaven's sakes, relax. Trust the process. I have no reason to agree to this, but. Okay. Now, where was I? Oh, right. Mrs. Reed, the librarian, was looking for a book at the bookstore. Yes, I'm looking for some new origin stories. Oh, I have just the thing. You'll love this one here. Hmm. It says, long ago, before stories really existed, there was a boy who made them up in his head, but he had always kept his stories to himself. Until one day. Cave Dad, cave Dad! What is it, cave son? I'm in the middle of trying to hunt this saber to stiker over here. I think I've invented something. I call it the story. Oh, good name. Can I share it with you? Could you be quick about it? You know, saber to stiker at all. Backtiger, back! I mean, who's hunting home, am I right? Okay, here it goes. Once upon a time in the future, there was a person who made stories for a living. He created many stories, but this is the one that was the most well known. Thank you. Thank you to people for coming to this reading of my new book. We love you, famous author! And I love you. Woo! Chapter 1. Mom. Just one more story. Please. Mia begged for the millionth time. Oh, good start. Okay, set her mom as she pulled a familiar book from the shelf. Mom, read it. Hold your horses, Mia. I guess love a spooky story. Are you sure you don't want to have nightmares? I can handle it. Okay. It was a dark and stormy Halloween night, and a group of kids were trick-or-treating. They rang the doorbell of a dentist who was disapproving of candy consumption. Trick-or-treat. Oh, now kids. You all know that I don't have any sweets on me, because I am a dentist after all. We know. But I do have something even better. How would you like to hear a story? Yeah, okay. Well, we'll finish. Once upon a time, there was a novelist who had been dealing with Ryder's block for a very long time. Okay, Kevin, think. How do you want to start your novel? How about once upon a sandwich? Now that's too predictable. It was the best of times. It was the broad worst of times. Now, that doesn't make any sense. Gotta stop writing before I eat lunch. Ow! Writing is so hard. I just wish I was at the end already. That's it! I'll just start at the end. The end at last. Yes! Is the perfect way to start my story! Okay, okay, hey, hey, stop it! You stop it right there. What? What is it? You promised me there would be an ending to this story, but this isn't an ending? It's just another beginning. That's it. I'm shutting this whole story down. No wait, there is an ending. Really? Yes. I promise. Trust me. All right. This is your last chance. So the novelist wrote and wrote into the night until he finally reached the end of his story. And in the end, she knew that she had to find her way back home, back where it all began, in the beginning. And then the novelist smiled to himself as he gently typed the final two words of his novel, the end. And after the dentist closed the door, the children wandered back out into the autumn night air, tricked of their treats by the telling of a tale. Well, how'd you like that story, Mia? Shoo! Then, quiet has a mouse. Mia's mother flicked off the light and whispered her good nights, as Mia set sail for her dreams. No, please, no, please, you're too kind. We love you! No, said the future man as the crowds on bridal adoration bellowed through the great hall. For it is I who loves you, and I shall love you until the end. Well, cave dad, what did you think of my story? Sabretooth Tiger, where did cave dad go? Oh boy! And while the boy never did find his father, instead what he found was a story, the story of stories. Well, I never get tired of hearing that one. And from the bookstore owner's cheek, a single tear fell upon the book's thirsty parchment as if watering the very seed of story itself. Well, judges, I think it's clear who the winner of this year's library writing contest is! It's Allison, y'allped the great judge. She had done it, both empowered by and in spite of her youth. The end. Wow, Natasha, that's just a rough draft. Yeah, do you think I'm good enough to be the world's youngest author? Oh, Natasha, I think this is only the beginning. And as Natasha's mother embraced the beaming child, she knew it was true. It really was the beginning. The end. Are you sure? That's really the end. You're welcome. Well, okay! Now that that's settled, may I ask, who are you? Does this give you a clue? I want to be the youngest writer in the world. Natasha? That's me. So then you wrote this story. No, you did. I did. No, wait. Allison did? I'm confused. That's how I intended it. Okay, that's it. We're shutting this story down. In the beginning. End in the end. The narrator never did find the end of the never-ending story story. Sir, the mall closed five minutes ago and that's some mannequin you're talking to. Or is it? No, it definitely is. Oh, okay, thank you. The end. And now, Lee speaks with the author. So Maggie, you wrote the never-ending story story. Which is the funniest, weirdest, most bizarre and confusing story ever. Accurate. When I wrote the summary. It was the never-ending story story, the most confusing story you've ever heard. Well, at the very end, you actually say that that's your intention is to write a confusing story. Yes, exactly. Whoever was writing one of those stories said that. Right, that was their intention. That was whoever's intention. That was Natasha's intention. That was the dentist's intention. And why do you like writing stories like that? I just thought of this because one of my favorite babysitters, club characters, like to write stories. And I was like, what if I write a story about a story about a story, about a story, and then that's kind of how I got the idea. I love how like there's a whole bunch of different characters and they're all linked. They're all linked by the story chain. Do you feel like that's like kind of a metaphor for real life? Well, yeah. Because like all my friends and I were linked by things in common. Like I'm blind and I go to the school for the blind. So all my friends at my school are linked by that one thing we have in common, that we all have low visits. You're all linked together and then there's all these other people that are linked to all the people that you go to school with that may not even know that they're linked. Yeah. Oh my gosh. This is so complicated. It's almost like all these connections with people are like stories in their own right. We're the main characters of our own stories. Yeah. And all these stories are interacting and intersecting in the same way they do in your never-ending story. It's like nesting dolls. Like there's the big story and then the story inside that. And then you open that story and the story inside that. That's amazing. So Natasha says that she's going to keep the story going until she runs out of ideas. But do you think it would be possible if you wanted to for this story to continue forever? Yes. It could go on forever. I could delete the end story and keep writing, keep coming up with more ways to do a story. Like I've already had the bedtime story, the storyteller and the origin stories and all the different kinds of stories. And so when you make up a story or you write a story typically are you writing just for yourself or are you writing for school or is it like a combo? They write most of my stories like for fun and then show it to my mom for revisions because that story required a lot of revision. So talk to me about that. Like what was the revision process like for this story? So we had to shuffle around some of the stories. One of the stories is actually just like one of them. Time goes a writer and she was writing a story and then this is what it's like. So we deleted that one and came up with different ones and sort of just changed stuff around until it was as best as it could get. That's so cool that your mom helps you out with edits and revisions. Is that part of your process normally? Yeah. Can you talk to me about like how it is that your mom is able to be helpful in that regard? She reads a lot. She knows how stories work even though she doesn't like write them. She reads them all the time. She knows how to like revise and she doesn't usually help me with editing because like I'm a pretty good speller and I can notice like punctuation mistakes. She mostly just helps me with revision. So she's like a story editor? Yeah. That's amazing. And do you enjoy that collaboration? Yeah, I do because like the perspective of a reader different from the perspective of a writer. Maggie, thank you so much for talking to me today. This was amazing. Thanks, we bye. Bye bye. And now it's time for Story Pirates' Roll Call. Our first story comes to us from an 11 year old in Washington named Amos. And Amos' story is called How To Worm. And I believe that this story would be very appreciated by DJ Squarmonlot because in this story the main character teaches the entire world how to do the worm. Yes, the dance, the worm, which is surprisingly difficult. If you've ever seen me try to do the worm, it does not go well. Thanks for sending it in Amos. Next up from a six year old in New Jersey named Wesley, we have the Farm Animals very own slide. And did you know that it is very funny to imagine different animals going down a slide? For example, have you ever imagined an alligator going down a slide or a duck or a goat or a sheep or turtles or a few snakes at a time? And they're all going down a slide. That's just instant comedy, my friends. Wesley, incredible work. Shout out to Kamaya, a nine year old from New York who sent us the story, Bad Brother. And Kamaya's story is just one sentence, so here it is, a hymn. My brother shrank me with a shrink O-ray and an ant eight bean. Yeah, that's a pretty bad brother if you ask me. Great work, Kamaya. And finally, from Natalia, a 10 year old from California, we have slip, dip, and trip. And if you like really weird game shows, you're going to really want to read this story because it even has a commercial from an establishment called Marley's Bagels, which may or may not be related in some way to Marge's Donuts. To read Natalia's story and all of today's roll call stories, just head to storypireds.com/podcast. Now it's time for you to write us a story and if you don't know what to write, here's a story spark from Tyson, the author of Why You Should Never Feed a Potato Chip to a Kangaroo. Kids, write us a story with a character from your imagination who gets sucked into a book. Tell us what book they get sucked into, what the world of the book is like, what they do inside of the book, and most of all, how do they get home? That's it for today's episode. Thanks for listening and a big thanks to today's authors Tyson and Maggie. Grown-ups can submit kids stories and stories barks at storypireds.com and remember, every single story we receive gets some love, some story love. We'll be back next week with another episode until then, stay creative and stay kind. Bye! The Story Pireds podcast is a production of Story Pired Studios, executive produced by Leo Virtue and Benjamin Salka. This episode was produced by Sam Bear, Mike Cavalon, Minzwi Karame, Mahela Lawrence, Peter McNerney, Andrew Miller, Megan O'Neal, Leo Virtue, Rachel and Itzky and Nimini Ware. Our theme song was written by Bobby Lord and produced by Brendan O'Grady, Roll Call theme by Andrew Barbado, musical scoring by Jack Mitchell. Our head writer is Minzwi Karame. Staff writers are Mike Cavalon, Mahela Lawrence and Alexis Simpson, and contributing writers are Peter McNerney, Megan O'Neal and Leo Virtue. This episode features performances by Matt Cox, Chris Verri, Langston Darby, Christina Grosspeach, Tara Halpern, Alexis Lambrite, Peter McNerney, Megan O'Neal, Leo Virtue, Jamie Watson, Rachel Winnitsky and Nimini Ware. [Music] And now to show you just how much keyfer I can fit in this infinity bag. Okay, I'll just turn the bag over and dump all the keyfer out. Here we go. Whoa! Wow, it is really coming out of there. This really is an infinity bag. That's an infinity amount of keeper. It's almost disturbing. It's starting to soak my shoes. Yeah, up to my ankles. Okay, yeah, now it's right at my knees. Getting faster. It's on my waist now. Shoulders. Oh, I'm still okay. I'm just in the keeper out. Don't call for help. I actually love this. Yep, drink it all.