139: Why You’re Secretly Afraid of Making More Money (Even if You Think You Want It)

Hello, my love, and welcome to their heroes podcast. This is your host, JVC, and I have another special guest today. This is Brigid Arnett. She's absolutely fucking incredible. She is one of my, personally, one of my favorite humans on the planet, and she's brilliant and she's smart and she's incredible. And she's just like the most grounded energy to be around. She's also one of my co-coaches inside of Currency Academy, which is our program on how to expand your wealth container and get a lot of big, beautiful money into the hands of really good people so that they can change the world, essentially. And I'd love for you to say hi, Brigid, because we got a great episode for you guys today. Hello, hello. Thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. I love it. I love having you here. I'd love for you to be able to, for those of our listeners who have never met you before, have never listened to a podcast episode with you before. Why don't you tell us a little bit about the work that you do inside of Currency Academy and how you help our clients? Yeah, so I am a traditionally trained registered nurse, and then I veered off and started working with you a little over three years ago, and my absolute obsession is subconscious rewiring and rewiring the nervous system to create safety in the body as you expand and grow and call in your, your highest purpose, your greatest wishes. And it's the coolest thing I've ever done. It's a personal practice of mine that I've been in the trenches of for probably over 20 years at this point. And I have a lot of, you know, personal practice, but I have a lot of love and joy for this work as well. It really, really lights me up. So there's nothing like it. There's honestly, it is the best thing on the freaking planet is the ability to change and to align your greatest desires with your unconscious and your nervous system and to, oh, it's just, you know, I think so many people need the resources to be able to have the tools to be able to actually do this effectively and to make life changes and to be able to feel safe, be able to have the impact they want because we work with a lot of generational change makers and impact creators and it's just a beautiful thing to witness and in today's episode, what we're really talking about diving into is why you're secretly afraid of making more money, even though you really want it. So let's dive into this topic. So I'm going to actually bring up one of my Instagram posts that I did recently. And it's a carousel post. So if you want to dive into it, you go and follow me on @jmcofficial and go look at this yourself as well. But I'd like to dive into this a little bit more and have a really juicy conversation about it. So before I do that, I'd also like to formally invite you to our amazing workshop that we are having. It's a free masterclass event and we have over 2000 people registered already in the last 48 hours. This energy is going to be so potent, so incredible. Get yourself in a room full of people who are expanding in the way that you want to expand. This is called the missing piece masterclass, which is best served for our clients because we're all entrepreneurs and all using strategy. And we're finding that so many people are trying to run their entire lives in business and success and call in money on a 5% ratio. And 95% is actually your energetics, your beliefs, your nervous system capacity and majority of people are not actually well equipped with how to navigate that work. And they are just implementing business strategy and finding a lot of resistance. And let's dive into that. So let's talk about the post that I created. So it was called it's not a money block. And if you slide over to the next slide, I'm going to read to you some of things that are actually not money blocks and what you actually could be feeling instead. So, without further ado, Ridge, are you ready? I was born ready. I had to get ready. It's a doozy. It's a doozy. Okay, so it's not a money block. It's a fear of responsibility. That's the one right there. Yeah, that's the one. That's the one. It's a feeling. It's feeling unsafe with success. It's a subconscious belief that ease equals laziness. It's a belief that success comes easily. Oh, it's a belief that if success comes easily, you didn't earn it. It's a fear that once you're wealthy people will expect you to give more or take advantage of you. It's a subconscious belief that being too successful will make you lonely. It's a hidden fear that if you actually get what you want, you could still be unhappy. That's a big one for me. That's a big one. That's a big one. Yeah, it's an outdated. What did you say, Ridge? It's scary. It's like, what if it's not the thing, you know, what if it's not the external thing? Well, that's why we always work on the inner world as a mirror to the outside world. So many people are trying to fix the outside world to make them feel something when really wealth is an inside job. It's always been an inside job. And if you can be happy with what you have right now, like truly deep gratitude for what is currently available to you, anything else is a cherry on top. Like that's that's that's the real secret sauce is like how deeply grateful and in love with my life. Can I be right now so that I could be in the energy and like be in the energy of actually calling it in. But also on top of that, like anything that comes on top of that is just juicy and delicious and amazing and beautiful. So good. Okay, continuing on. There's more. It's an outdated story that you have to suffer before you can succeed. I will never get over the idea that one of the the biggest thing that I had to heal was releasing my identity of suffering. I didn't know who I was without it. I had spent my entire life basically suffering, playing the victim. Life was hard. And the idea of life being easy was one of those things or is like who though, but I don't even know. I feel like I had an identity crisis. And now I'm like, who was that girl that poor girl. She suffered so much for what. Why I call that character building. We call that character building exactly. Okay, so it's a fear that if you reach your goals, you'll lose your drive. That's the one for our high achievers are overachievers. Yes, I know you're listening. I hear you. I see you. It's a feeling. It's feeling unworthy of making quote unquote that much money without struggling first subconscious fear that success will create conflict with friends or family. It's an identity attachment being the hard worker instead of the wealthy one. It's an emotional block deep down. You don't trust yourself to handle big money. It's a pattern of undercharging because receiving more feels uncomfortable. It's a belief that being too successful will make people resent you. It's a fear that success equals less freedom. So this is a question that we always ask inside of a currency Academy I said always, always, what do you feel you will sacrifice if you make more money. It's a big, big, big, big, big one. And then you get to decide if you want that to be true or not. That's that's the beautiful thing about being the author of your life is you get to decide. Well, and then you get to align your nervous system and your belief system to kind of lead with that story as the main character that you've written, which is really beautiful. It's a belief that making too much money will make you unrelatable. It's a subconscious guilt around earning more than your parents. That's a big one for our community. Huge. It's an identity crisis. Who will you be when you're no longer the underdog? It's a fear that you will make. If you make more, you'll have to maintain it. And what if you can't? It's a subconscious belief that wealth equals more responsibility and stress. It's a past experience where money did bring you drama. So now you avoid it. It's a fear that more visibility equals more judgment and criticism. It's a survival response. Your nervous system is wired for safety, not overflow. I want to stop on that one because I want to pass that over to Bridget on why the nervous system is wired for safety and not overflow. Yeah, because it's just a primal system and it's at its core. It's an older part from an evolutionary perspective and at its core, it is designed to keep us alive, alive and safe. And that is the only thing it cares about. So it's operating based off of your familiar zone and your sort of default zone of everything that you've come to understand. And it does this all beneath the surface. This is a subconscious mind running this program. So it's sometimes growing and expanding feels really unsafe. Yeah. And let me ask you a question. Is it possible to wire your nervous system for overflow? Absolutely. Absolutely. We do it. We see it every day. I just needed to ask you, I knew what the answer was. I knew what it was going to be, but I just wanted to hear it again because it's so beautiful. Okay, so we just have a couple. We have a few more. Okay, it's a subconscious fear that having more means you could lose more. It's a feeling of guilt that you're taking money from others instead of creating it. It's a belief that you have to be different, smarter, better, more ready before you're allowed to be wealthy. So I think this is one of the most beautiful things because it gives us a deeper roadmap to understanding where we could possibly be. And I think a lot of times we're like, okay, we're going to rebuild our relationship with money, this neutral tool. But the truth of the matter is that you have a story around money, around what it means to have it, what it means to be somebody who is identified with it, to be seen as somebody with it. And every single person, I always say, you have your own memory of money. And that's what it's running on. That's what your every behavior is a byproduct of that memory, of those beliefs. You don't walk around the planet just like, I believe this, I know you show up with a consistent set of behaviors and those behaviors are information, really beautiful information. And they actually show you where there is restriction and where there is areas to actually show more light on and to give more love to. So I think what I would love to just dive into really briefly is why it's so important that you do get the money that you desire to have, because I want, I want to have a conversation about this, because I always say that it's, it's bigger than you. It's bigger than you. I want to share a personal story, because there is a time when I had, you know, $4 to my name a five month old baby. And, you know, I always said success was the only option at that point. There's nothing that will get you to hustle harder than to take care of a child. I will tell you that much. There is nothing that will light a fire hotter under your ass than to have a small baby at home that is responsible. You are responsible for and I think that a lot of times what ends up happening is we end up creating success and survival mode and, you know, being able to actually sit in the energy of ease feels very uncomfortable. And I love, I love what we do in currency Academy because we allow people to be able to get out of survival mode and to be able to create in such a deeper expansive way and their impact becomes profound at that point. The energy of creation in, in creation mode versus survival mode. It's limitless. It's limitless versus limited, right? Like when you can get yourself up into that connected, safe, secure, all of those things, those, that is when you have this limitless access to the ability to create, the ability to be tapped into your highest potential, your genius, and it just flows and flows and flows versus when you're creating from survival mode that that is a limitation. You get to a certain point and then it's like, Oh, wait, what happened here? Are you either burnout or you pump the brakes or, you know, you slow down, you go backwards. There's still a lot of things that happen. How does the nervous system show up in survival mode? So survival mode is, you know, one of your stress activation. So fight, flight, freeze or fawn, you have fight or flight, which you're either trying to fight off something off or run away from something that shows up as avoidance. The flight, the flight energy shows up as avoiding certain things, not having difficult conversations, pretending things don't exist. And, but those are both activators, right? So the fight energy sort of has this fiery, spicy, go get it, go get them energy. So you can really create from both of those places. And then what people, people who are really stalled out and have a hard time getting momentum moving at all, they're usually dealing with either a freeze or a fawn. A freeze is a lot of procrastination, inability to choose, inability to take the next step, a lack of clarity, those types of things, those will show up as, as blocks to, you know, and all, all it's doing is trying to bring you back into safety. And then with fawn, it's a big fear of being seen, right? So it's, it's being a fear of being seen, if you're being witnessed, fawn is kind of this energy of like laying down and hiding until the danger passes. I see that a lot too. It's like you have these big visions and then it's all of a sudden it's like, well, if I speak my, my genius, someone will see me and that's not safe, right? So when you, when you create a sense of safety and you're able to get all the way up into what we call ventral vagal, it's this limitless, co-creative, connected, happy, joyful space that you just have this limitless access to the energy. Oh, it feels good. It feels so good. It feels so good. So to complete what I was saying before about why it's so important that you actually get access to the overflow and abundance of wealth. If you have a desire to create a lot of impact and you have a desire for overflow and you have a desire, it means that you're meant to do something really fucking good on this planet. And I, I'm going to tell a personal story because I think that, you know, I think about younger Jamie and kind of the what she had to go through to get here. And recently, it has always felt really, really good to me to give back. I mean, and that's what I love doing with my overflow. I've always loved it, whether it's giving back to charities, whether it's, you know, creating opportunities for people, whether it's giving back to my family, whether it's what just to make others feel more, you know, the people that I love, I want to take care of them. That's just true. And I know that's true for my audience because there's so many people that I have met that they were like, I just want to retire my parents. I want to take my parents. I want to do all these things. I want to do incredible heart led things. I want to create these beautiful nonprofits and whatever the case is. And I think it's just so beautiful. So, with my overflow, I remember the first, there's two experiences recently that happened that just were like, probably one of those. I don't think I'll ever fucking forget this feeling. And it was incredible because I would my with my brother passed away and if you've read my, read my book, you'll be written, you know, about my story with my brother. And when he passed away, I had this bracelet that I had that I carried around with me and it had a little, you know, gold or a silver, kind of like medallion. Anything and it said be the change that you wish to see in the world and had a leather strap and when my brother was in the ICU and we had to let him off of life support. I took that bracelet off and I, and I tied it onto him and I was just like, I will, I will take care of your kids. I will take care of your family. I will do whatever I had to, and I was broke as fuck at that time. Like I had, I, I don't know what I was, I, you know, it took a lot of years to be able to keep my promise, but I held it, I held it for many years. And I'll never forget the moment when I was able to sign a six figure check over to them so that they could be able to get their home and be able to, you know, put a deposit down on the home that they wanted and be able to live in a clean home and a safe home. And a safe, happy home. And I'll just never forget the feeling of being able to witness what the overflow was doing for other people that I loved. And then second was another, you know, six figure check for my parents. And, you know, once my parents retired, they didn't have much because, you know, they spent a lot on my brother, unfortunately. So it left them without a lot. And just said, like, whatever I can do just to take care of them. I don't, I, it was breaking my heart anytime I saw them like, oh, we can't go on that vacation or we can't do this. And it's like, I remember being able, I remember having to have those conversations of not being able to do things because I couldn't afford it. And I'll just never forget, you know, I'll never, I'll never forget my mom is sitting there like, falling her eyes out. And being so grateful. And then my dad just being like, you could do so many things, but you gave it to us. And it's like, that's, that's the beautiful thing that you get to do with your overflow is to help in whatever capacity you want. And it means so much that you do this work so that you can give yourself access to it so that you could do really fucking good things. Ah, so this work just means a lot to me to be able to see more people do that and to be able to see more good-hearted people make really beautiful, beautiful impact in the world. Because I don't know if you're anything like me, but when I don't know if I can handle seeing another not so great person do some really shitty fucking things with money in this world. I'm really ready to break the mold and kind of even the playing ground a bit. Can we make it easier for more good people to get more wealth to do good things. I feel like circling back to you've made that's just such a beautiful illustration of when you kind of play the tape all the way through you can get yourself into a safe space with regards to overflow in your nervous system. I think I went on a tangent. So, bringing that back your nervous system uses those different states to seek safety. And a lot of times when we're talking about overflow, it's like if you are reaching a level that maybe your parents didn't reach or you're reaching a level that your five best friends haven't reached, or you're sort of outgrowing your known environment. That becomes to feel like an unknown that becomes to feel like a stressor and that then the nervous system will use those states that I talked about earlier to sort of pump the brakes bring you back shrink you down whatever the the responses. And so you just described such a beautiful example of like, if you play that tape through so in the beginning when it starts to feel uncomfortable, you start to expand your, your known childhood you start to outgrow your maybe your parents wealth levels. In the beginning that feels really uncomfortable and there's this temptation to shrink back down but when you sit in that you stay in that and you continue to move forward. Eventually you get to see the blessings and the gifts of moving into that next level which is you get to turn around and lift them all up. And that just feels so beautiful, like that is, that is, there's nothing more beautiful in my opinion and that is a really beautiful motivator for people who, you know, maybe the money isn't motivational for that maybe it's that's not a thing that gets them excited but when you think about what you can do with it who you can help how you can support how you can bring it back to the community. And then that gets you really juiced up I know that was a big big thing for me when you and I first started working together. Yes. Yeah. Play the tape through, lay it through. Yeah, like, move it forward right move it past the sticky part. Move it past the part where your your nervous system starts to be like, Oh, this is different move it past that and then get familiarize yourself with your potential and what you can do with it all. Gorgeous. I love it. So excited. I can't wait for our masterclass. The energy is going to be so outrageous. The most beautiful way possible. So I would love to, you know, thank you for spending this time with me bridge and thank you for sharing your beautiful knowledge and for my beautiful listeners thank you so much for being here and spending time with us. Great to see you and our live masterclass. And if again, if you were listening to this after we do how we play for you it's in the show notes. So thank you so much for being here. We will see you and the beautiful energy of our live event on the 24th of February. And as always continue doing the work and I'm so proud of you for doing the things that most people will never do or have the bravery to do and here you are doing it. So congratulations. I'm so proud of you. So sending you so much love and we'll see you next time. Bye bye for now.