Why Success Doesn't Make You Happy (And What Actually Will)

What is present all the time is the knowledge that you exist. I am. You're not who you are. You're pure spirit. Drop the ego. Stuff is happening. It's happening through you. It's not happening by you. You don't want to be a CEO. You don't want to run a billion dollar company. You want the feeling that you will have when you're CEO or running a billion dollar company. The ideas that you have right, oh this is the real world and I'm in pain. It's a model you have. You've been brainwashed into it. When you look for science at the friendly university, you will find them everywhere. Hi friends. So today we are talking to Dr. Rao, who is the founder of the Rao Institute. And Dr. Rao is an elite coach who works specifically with highly successful entrepreneurs and professionals. These are folks who are already mega successful. And what he does is he works with them to really make a dent in the universe. He does this through a spiritual journey and he talks through some of the things that just happened as part of the human condition. I think one of the things you're going to hear in our conversation today is that similar to his TED Talk, which millions of people have listened to, Dr. Rao has a workshop. He has several books. But he leads us down a rabbit hole. It determines how far you're willing to go as to what you want to adopt. And think about as it relates to feeling stuck, frustrated, worried, anxious, and wondering what the heck are we doing here. Like at the end of the day, all the accolades, the children, the houses, the marriages, potentially the divorces, whatever's taking place like what is really going on? Why are we here? Why are we here? And today he answers that question for us. I'm going to tell you for me, there were moments in today's conversation. Three or four moments in which I was crying while listening. Because what I think ultimately each of us want is more peace and more joy. And at the end of the day, it's not what we accomplish is how we feel when we accomplish what we accomplish. If we're coming from a place of scarcity and we're running fast and hard and we think once we get there we'll be so happy, or feel so good, or we're going to be fulfilled. And when we get there we realize there's no there there. And so we fall back on this place of feeling depleted and frustrated and lonely and questioning. And I know so many times I've been there and I wonder if anyone listening today is also feeling that way. And if you are today's conversation is for you. So he pulls from the great masters in his work, which he will hear his powerful teachings, the exercises that he's going to give you today, to get yourself into a positive state of mind. And it's the reason why top business schools around the world have Dr. Rao come in and teach what he has covered extensively. Through major media worldwide he's the author of a book that I adore called Modern Wisdom and Ancient Roots. The Movers and Chakers Guide to Unstoppable Success. He's also written a book called Are You Ready to Succeed? Which is an important question and what is success and what does that look like? So if any of this really resonates today's conversation is really targeted for you and I can't wait for you to lay back and listen to what he has to say. Because not often when I interview folks on this podcast do I get moved to tears and today it happened multiple times. So I hope it touches you and gives you the gifts that it gives to me today. So looking forward to hearing from you on what this meant for you. I'd love to hear from you how common is it to hear from high achieving professionals, high achieving entrepreneurs? Who hit milestones? How often are those folks coming to you saying now what this is not what I thought it was in my life lacks meaning? All the time, Tracy. And when I say all the time I mean literally all the time. People, including very successful people, including many who are household names, say, but you know there's something missing in my life. You know, I want to find more meaning. I want to find more purpose and I get that frequently. So millions and millions of people have listened to your TED Talk. Yes they have. And have read your books. I would love to dig in from your perspective just right away as we start this conversation. From your perspective, what is the meaning of life? Okay. And this is something as I said, I get a great deal and I've spent a lifetime tackling this question. You don't find meaning and purpose. They're not like seashells on the beach. You go for a walk on the beach and you see that. Ah, there's mine. There's the purpose. There's the meaning. Actually, I'm going to go far out on a limb, Tracy. And tell you that there is only one thing that will bring meaning to your life. Only one purpose in your coming on a human existence. And that is to recognize that you're not who you think you are. You're not this body-mind intellect complex that you think you are. Who you really are is pure spirit, pure awareness. Masquerading, playing a role in this body-mind intellect complex. And the more you recognize that this thing that you think you are is not who you really are. It's the role that you're playing in a cosmic soap opera. And then you can dissociate yourself from that and identify with your real self, which has never been born, will never die. In fact, cannot die. Then you will have reached the peak. And many wisdom traditions have talked about it and they all have different names for it. This is Nirvana, this is Satori, this is Brahman, this is Giana, this is Awakening, this is Enlightenment. But they're all talking about the same thing. When you can drop this illusion of separateness and merge into that great whole, that is the purpose of life. Oh, I'm feeling overwhelmed. I don't even know where to start. So help, help a gal who feels on some days high, high in other days really low lows as a mom, as an entrepreneur. At this stage of my life looking back, saying, I thought I would be in a different place. And then hearing from friends who compare themselves to me and say, wow, you've had so much success. Kind of help me break down. If I were your client, where would you start? Where I would start is by having you reflect on your life. And if you reflect on your life, you'll find that there are times when you felt absolutely on top of the world. And there were times when you felt miserable, nobody loves me, nobody knows me, nobody cares for me and all that I have accomplished is, is trash. And that's not what really gives me meaning. And you boil down to what do you really want? And this is true of everybody. Most people don't recognize it. You know, people say, I want to be CEO. People say, I want to run a billion dollar company. That's not really true. And if you dig deeper, even that isn't true. You don't want the feeling you'll have when you're CEO or running a billion dollar company. You want the feeling that you think you will have if you're CEO running a billion dollar company. And the only way you can think of to get to that feeling is to actually become CEO or run a billion dollar company. So you strive and you struggle and you overcome obstacles and you go through your ups and downs and all the rest of that because that's the only way we've been taught. But actually none of that is true. What you're really saying is, I want to be joyful. I want to be happy. I want this happiness to be unconditional. And I want this happiness to last. I don't want it to come and go. I want it to last. And the only way this is going to happen, Tracy, is if you recognize that your true nature is you are spirit. You're not this body, mind, complex intellect complex. You're not Tracy. You're not the person runs what gas. This is the role that you're playing. So as I tell everyone of my clients and let me explain it to you, let's just say, assume that I'm coming up with a new production of death of a salesman. Okay? And I hire you and you know, you're Billy Lohman. And Billy Lohman has a good times, a bad times, he was very successful, but in bits and pieces, his life is going down. He tries to commit suicide and fails and you know, he's disintegrating. And you really want to get into that because you won't have a wonderful portrayal. But even as you're getting into the miserable creature that Billy Lohman has become, in the back of your mind is the notion, if I do a really good job of portraying Billy Lohman, maybe I'll get an Oscar. That's why I say the best way to think of your life is, do not identify with the character. Identify with the actor. If you identify with the actor, you're gold. If you identify with the character, you're screwed. We're far too busy identifying with the character. And the character goes through ups and downs. The character has successes and failures. The characters has good quote unquote things happen to the character and bad quote unquote things happen. And you live on a sinusoidal curve oscillating between elation and despair. It's a lousy way to live. You have to be beyond all of that floating serenely on a plateau where you look upon all of this and you're not moved, you're not shaken. That is the kingdom of heaven. And guess what? The kingdom of heaven is in you. You don't have to go any place to accomplish it. You just have to recognize you're already there. All you need to do is enter. Wow. Hey, gorgeous friends. Just for a second, if you would do me a huge favor, if potential to powerhouse has touched your heart, inspired you, made you pause, made you think differently, been a resource for you, would you do me the favor to right now take a second to give us a rating and review? It makes such a difference and we so appreciate hearing from you. Thank you. High five. Okay. So I have so many questions. And in a way, I don't know about you as the listener, but for me, this is a very comforting thought. What you're describing. Yes. It's very, very comforting. And I'm going to, I'm going to ask you a couple of questions that are interrelated, but I want to piece them out so that I can walk through what some of those who may be listening are going through a very difficult time, a very dark time, a very scary time. I want to unpack this with you. Speaking to those folks who are listening that may be in a place right now where they're really seeking support. And, and are maybe afraid to tell their friends and family the struggles that they're facing because many entrepreneurs feel like it's their incumbent upon them to figure it out on their own. Absolutely. Yes, it is. Right. And so they hide what they face. So I guess my first question to you is how much of what we deal with and who we are in this current lifetime. Did we come in knowing we were going to have to deal with this or that we were electing or or or saying I'm signing up for these lessons. Okay. There are several different philosophical frameworks that deal with this Tracy, but they're all frameworks. But a good thing for you to recognize is that you're not really the doer. Okay. Let me repeat that you think you're the doer, but you're not the doer. Everything that happens to you has been pre ordained and I mean everything. Somebody asked Ramra Mahershi who's a great Indian sage who is an enlightened being and also one of the people who's had a profound impact on my life. And they said, Bhagwan, what is pre ordained? Is it only the major things in life like who I'm going to marry, what my career is going to be or even minor things like I'm going to pick up the spend at this instant and put it down at this exact spot. And Bhagwan Ramra Mahershi said, the moment the human body takes shape is created the moment you born everything that the body is going to do has been pre ordained, including you will pick up the spend at this instant and put it down here. And the question is, but then what about free will? You know, what about all? And Bhagwan says you have at any moment the perfect freedom to decide whether you are the doer or not the doer. Let me repeat that you have at every instant the freedom to recognize whether you are the doer or not the doer. All over the world and especially in the developed West, there is the notion that we are the doer. I did this. I studied hard. I got good grades. I went to a good graduate school. I got a good job. I worked hard. And that's why I achieved all the success that I did. No, my friend, it happened. Any of a million things that could have happened to derail you did not happen to be immensely grateful. But don't ever believe that you're the doer. Let me give you a story. So my grandson was four at the time that he visited me in New York and I took him to an enter test. An entertainment park which is closed by. And in that entertainment park, there was a ride for kids. You sat in a car and you know, it started and it was like a mini roller coaster. So it got into the right and my grandson enjoyed it thoroughly. He turned the steering wheel madly and the right ended and he was enjoying it thoroughly. And he looked at me, he said, "Tata, that's you know, can I have a grandfather? Was I a good driver?" So I looked at him and said, "You're the best driver in the world. How can you tell a four year old kid that the entire ride is pre-programmed and whatever he did with the steering wheel had no impact at all on the ride?" It's exactly like that with us, Tracey. We go around and think we did this. I chose to marry this person. Oh, I made a mistake. I should have married that person instead. I chose to go into this business and oh, that was horrible. I should have done that instead. No, you didn't have a choice. You thought you had a choice, but all of that was going exactly as it was ordained. And the benevolent universe always gives you exactly what you need at each stage of your life. So the notion that you are the doer is a very pernicious one and is responsible for a lot of the recrimination and a lot of the angst in your life. Because every time you think that you are the doer, there is then the question of, "If I am the doer, maybe I should be doing this instead, which would be better for me." Or that. And that leads you into a whole moris, a would have, could have, should have, and all the regrets and all of the angst that is we experience. But if you recognize that whatever happened was precisely what you needed and the benevolent universe is giving that to you, then all of that drops away. And you simply say, "Okay, this happened and this is part of my unfolding in life and everything that happens is a tool that I will use to awaken. It is a tool that I will use to recognize my true nature, which is that I am pure spirit having a human experience. And whatever I classify as good, whatever I classify as bad, it's simply part of the drama. You're watching a play and you know horrible things happen in that play. Say you're watching Oliver Twist. And you know, he is not caught enough food and he asks for more and he gets beaten up for more. And you feel for this poor kid who's being beaten up. But at the same time, you're really enjoying the play. That's exactly where you are. You are in a play. It's all a dream. So for those persons who are not right now going through tough times, let's assume you go to sleep and you dream. And in your dream, you're being chased by Freddie Krueger. Remember Freddie Krueger from my home street and he's locked on you and you know, he's got fingers like knives and he's slashing and you're running away. But he's coming behind you and you hide and he looks around and you can hear the breathing. Can you feel the crescendo of fear? And then he rips a curtain apart and you try to run that he japs at you and you know, he gets you the knife and you have deep scratches as you run. But when he gets you the knife, there is pain and the pain is so sharp, you wake up and then you say, but it was all a dream. dream. But when do you say it was all a dream? You say it was all a dream when you wake up, right? As long as you're in the dream, it was awfully real. In exactly the same way, Tracy, all of the things that you're experiencing right now is exactly like a dream. And when do you realize that you were in a dream when you wake up? So to go back to your first question, what is the purpose of life? The purpose of life is to wake up. And that's when you'll recognize what Jesus said when He said, "The kingdom of heaven is near or I and my father are one." That's exactly what He was talking about. When you shed this illusion that you are a particular body-mind intellect complex and there are other body-mind intellect complexes who are trying to frustrate you, who are doing the dirty on you and you've got to protect yourself and you drop all of that and recognize that there is only one. There is no Tracy's awareness and Sri Kumar's awareness. There's only a awareness and you are that. You've always been that. You cannot not be that. And the only thing that's preventing you from realizing it is the thought that you're not there. And getting rid of that illusion that is the purpose of life. And that's the only purpose of life. And anytime you say, "You know, I've had a lot of success and I've got to give back. I've got to help others who are less fortunate. Who are the others? There are no others." And when you say, "I've got to give back and do that, that's your ego speaking." Drop the ego. Stuff is happening. Lots of people have said, "Thank you." Your course really changed my life. Your white coaching had a profound transformative effect. Thank you. And you know, I look at that and acknowledge it gracefully and say, "Thank you." But in reality, what changed their lives is the teachings of the world's great masters. I draw all of my, whatever I do from the teachings of the world's great masters. They understood the human predicament. They came up with solutions that have been tested over millennia. But they use language and examples which you're appropriate to the time and geography that they were in. And modern people don't necessarily relate to that. I've simply taken these great exercises, these great concepts, packaged them in ways that are big sense to people in the milieu, in which I function, drop business schools, major corporations, entrepreneurs. So I can I say, "Think of me as a FedEx guy. The FedEx guy delivers the package, but the package doesn't come from the FedEx guy. It comes from somewhere else." So I just try to be a good FedEx guy. But these principles literally will utterly, completely transform your life. And it isn't something I said that does that. It's these great masters. So always been there. But we have not figured out how relevant they are to our life today. I help my clients see the relevance and see that what they were saying, 2,500 years ago is every bit, in fact, maybe more relevant today. Hey folks, I'm excited to share with you the launch and announcement of ENER-FIFTH. Are you a female entrepreneur seeking a place to find your people? If you want to hear from experts on how to build your business and create more wealth, better relationships, find your purpose, and enhance your health. Go check out ENER-FIFTH.com to learn more about the high-performance community for growth, driven, female entrepreneurs who are seeking a way to connect with each other. We are all about moving through issues, upscaling, and wealth creation. If this calls to you, check out ENER-FIFTH.com, click on Learn More and come and join us. When I first met you and I had my first call with you, I had such a sense of peace and connection to you. And I think everything you just said is so important that if you're listening to this right now, pause and rewind and relic it to this again, this section. Because so much of the suffering and the pain of being an entrepreneur and having disappointments or maybe just being a human being and having disappointments or meeting yourself in places that you yourself are disappointed in your own outcome, how you show up. And thinking about this idea of regret and this idea of ego, help us understand how we can sift through some of our thoughts and what's coming up. Give us a tool or a technique that you would recommend to a client of yours who's trying to over here and listen to their self-talk and decide what is coming up here and what is ego and how do I get aligned into my purpose again. There is a very powerful technique called deep reflection. And in deep reflection you take a thought and you not only examine it but you also examine the implications of that thought. For example, one of the things I said is you're not who you are, you're pure spirit. Now bear with me, okay? You notice if someone were to ask you, you beat someone at a cocktail party and they say, you know, oh, who are you, what do you do? You say, well, I'm Tracy, I run a podcast, you know, I sold a business, I help get entrepreneurs, etc, etc., etc., right? You're lying, you're lying by omission. You don't tell the person, well, some of the time I'm Tracy and I run a podcast and some of the time I am being chased by Freddie Krueger and some of the time, you know, in all vanishes and there is nothing, there's a big blank, if you will. That's your own personal direct experience, right? Yes. Now let's define real as that which always is, got it? What is real is that which always is? So if you accept that definition of real, then Tracy isn't real because Tracy comes and goes. Some of the time there's no Tracy, there's simply someone being chased by Freddie Krueger and then that disappears and there is nothing, there's a blank. But Tracy, there is something that is present when there is the blank, there is something that's present when you are being chased by Freddie Krueger, there's something that's present when you're being Tracy Holland and what is present all the time is the knowledge that you exist. I am. When you wake up from deep sleep, do you have to ask anyone, hey, did I exist? No, you know you exist and not only do you exist, but you loved it. Do you know anyone who doesn't want to have a good night's sleep? No one. But, do you know when you had a good night's sleep, where was Tracy? Where was your body? Where was your, you know, your aging self? Where were your husband, your children? Where was the world? Gone. That's what is meant by the fact that's not who you really are. This is all stuff that comes and goes as if it were a screen. Let's assume you see a movie, okay? You see the towering inferno. Have you seen the towering inferno? By the way? Sure. Yes. Oh, Kamago, it was a wonderful disaster film, one of the first disaster films actually and in it the upper floor of the skyscraper is on fire and the flames are so hot that melt the steel beams. And then that's replaced by a second movie and this is Waterworld and in Waterworld all the polar ice caps are melted and, you know, there's water everywhere, there's hardly any land and the protagonist is going around her boat trying to find some land and that movie ends. And you go to the screen and the screen is not burnt or hot and the screen is not wet. The screen is exactly as it's always been. But neither Waterworld nor the towering inferno would have been possible without the screen. Identify with the screen the thing that is unchanging, that is your true nature. We're too busy. is the identifying with the shadows that are portrayed on the screen which is the towering inferno in the water world. Identify with the screen that's who you really are. You're the cell from which all of this is playing out. That is the kingdom of heaven and it is only when you get there that you recognize there are no others. There is only one and that's when you will have the complete cessation of all sorrow. That is the peace which passeth understanding. Realizing that is the sole purpose of life and the only way you're going to get that tracy is by constantly reflecting upon it. We have the misconception that oh you know I have too much trouble in my life, too much stress, too much tension and I have to do something about it so I'm going to meditate. I'm going to get up in the morning and meditate for 10 minutes or maybe half hour or maybe I'll meditate twice a day or maybe I'll go on a vipassana retreat. I'm not knocking any of those but it ain't going to work. It's not going to work because over decades imagine a tremendous flywheel which has been spinning at a very high rate and every time you pass the flywheel you flick it in the direction of motion. Over decades can you think of how much momentum that flywheel has? A lot. That's your mind, Tracy. And to think that you're going to have any impact on it with a little meditation here and a retreat there, it's not going to happen. The only way you're going to make an impact on that is if your entire life becomes a meditation. Let me repeat that. If your entire life is a meditation, then and only then are you going to be able to start slowing down that flywheel which is your utter control mind. So in deep reflection what happens is you start thinking about these things until they become real to you, until you're embedded. So it's not an intellectual concept you picked up but this is the reality that you're embedded in. And it's only when you can do that over a period of time that you'll find that things go. Like I just received a testimonial for one of my clients. He made an investment which turns out where he's talking a very substantial summer money. And he said before the coaching, I would have gone to historical, gone bananas. And now I can look upon it and yeah, I regret it but I am not off my keel. And it would have happened if I hadn't been thinking about the things that you went over with me. Because the ideas that you have right, oh this is the real world and I'm in pain, it's a model you have. You've been brainwashed into it, you've been programmed into it. And what I do in my coaching is I give you things. I don't deprogram you, you deprogram yourself but I give you the tools that you can use to deprogram yourself. And as you do that, you'll realize that so much of what you believed, so much of what you think is true simply isn't so. I've got to give you a wonderful quote from Mark Twain which is very funny but also very profound. Mark Twain said, "It isn't the things we don't know that hurt us. It's the things we know that ain't so." It's so true. It's not the things we don't know that hurt us. It's the things we know that ain't so that hurt us. So in your book Modern Wisdom Ancient Roots and I refer back to this book all the time because even if you pick it up and you start in the middle and you read a chapter, it is so profound and so grounding. One of the chapters that I think I would love to touch on for those listening is your chapter 13 which you named the terrible mistake you make every day. And what you talk about in here is your internal voice. And how the internal voice feels so real that it's like micro cuts every single day to yourself. We are verbally slashing, we are mentally slashing over risks every day. Every day. And for someone listening today who says, "Gosh, I actually really feel that today and I want to stop doing that to myself," which I would highly recommend picking up this book and starting it today via Audible and then getting the actual physical book because I'm a big believer that it's easier to integrate something you're learning when you read it and your eyes move left to right on a page as well as listen to it. Absolutely. And Tracey, if I may, there's another reason you should get the book because books have an energy of their own. And if you get the book and have it lying around, sometimes you might pick it up and read a random paragraph or just seeing the book will give you a jolt of energy because books do carry energy. And it just so happens that I read this book while I was in Japan this summer. And I leave in the morning, tomorrow morning for Japan again on a sudden trip for my daughter because she got herself into a little trouble at school. And so I'm being asked to come and sit down with the school and my daughter in that process and I'm going to bring this book back with me because it made such an impact on me. But I think the thing that I really identified with Dr. Rowe is this idea of how to quiet the mind that you just mentioned in this kind of 24/7 meditation for those of us that are just hearing that for the first time and trying to really understand how to do that or how to integrate that. Do you have any idea for a novice what you could recommend that those listening today could do to start to integrate this idea being the screen? Absolutely. I can mention that but I was also cautioning you that this is not something which is going to happen overnight. It will require consistent effort in your part. I was first introduced by this notion of this notion by Swami Shivananda who is another enlightened being and he said you should spend all your time in prayer and that did not sit well with me. You know I thought he's crazy. You know prayer is good prayer is useful and you know maybe you do it in the morning or you do the evening but spend all your time in prayer. I mean that's crazy. You know this stuff I want to do. I've got a family, I've got a career, I've got things I like to do like having beer with my friends or watching a movie or you know just taking a lot of junk food, whatever. You know there are other things in life. It's important. I can spend all my time in prayer but then I found out I was wrong. You can and should spend all your time in prayer. And how you do this didn't become clear to me until I read another great classic called The Way of a Pilgrim. When he talks about there is do the Jesus Prayer all the time. No matter what you're doing, eating, drinking, sleeping, carrying on your business in the back of your mind always have the Jesus Prayer going on. Dedicate all of your work to him because remember what I told you earlier the notion that you're the doer is is pernicious because if you're the doer then there's other things you could be doing that perhaps could be better and still other things could have been even better and then there are mistakes you made and the would have could have should have all come in. So I tell all my coaching clients the same and I have clients from every major wisdom tradition. I have Catholics, I have Protestants, I have Muslims, I have Hindus, I have Sikhs, I have Buddhist and I always tell them the same thing sometimes I change. The person person that I recommend based on their upbringing for some I say Allah did it, for some I say Jesus did it, for some I say Krishna did it but apart from that is exactly the same. So your life is not your life, Jesus is driving the chariot, He is doing it, all you're doing is you're being an instrument and the undercurrent of that has always been there in the teachings if you've been ready to hear it. What it saw of Torsus Say when it became sent Paul, I live yet not I Christ live it in me. I am not doing it. It is being done through me. And the moment you accept that it's being done through me, the ego drops away. One of the things I run into very frequently, particularly with entrepreneurs who like to think of themselves as more enlightened, is, you know, God has been so good to me and I've been so fortunate and I have to give back. I'm going to help those who are less warned. That's just your ego talking about. No, you're not doing anything. Get hold of yourself, recognize your nature and then perhaps what you do would be helpful. But in the meantime, if you feel called upon to help, recognize that that is a divine urge that has been put into you and honor it. But Jesus is doing the work. You're just the instrument through which it chooses to do the work. So be immensely grateful that you are the instrument, but don't ever think that you're doing it. I'm giving back. No, that's your ego speaking. Let it happen and be grateful that you're being chosen as the instrument. And you've got to think about it constantly until it's no longer a thought, but it's really become an expression of who you are. And that's when you'll find that you're no longer bowed down by the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. The simply stuff that happens because you're in the human condition. As long as in the human condition stuff will happen. They will be serious in less and dead. They will be curious at backs. They will be financial reverses. There will be relationship problems. That's part of being in the human condition. You will deal with each and each of these situations as appropriate when you're there. But you'll deal with it from the space of, this is the soap opera that is playing out and I am a character in the soap opera. And I will play the character with full gusto. But I will never forget that I am the actor. And I identify with the actor, not the character. And that's what will help those a few listeners who are passing through severe problems. But they really have to work with this concept before it will start having an impact outside. Because when you're passing through really, really, really tough times, that's like a tsunami hits you. Now when a tsunami hits you, it's a wonderful idea to be able to serve the tsunami and say, isn't it a great ride? The problem Tracy is you can't learn to serve when the tsunami hits you. If you want to serve when the tsunami hits you, you better become damn good at serving the two-foot waves. And when you become damn good at serving the two-foot waves, then you have a chance that when the tsunami hits you'll serve it. So begin early, begin now, begin when there isn't anything serious happening in the life. And if there is something serious happening, never the less think about these concepts until they become embedded. And recognize that a benevolent universe, Jesus Christ, if you will, always has your back. And he will go before you to make the crooked path straight. This is not simple stuff to keep you happy. It is not a problem. It really is true. He does go before you to make the crooked path straight. You know, one of the most important things that Einstein said is, the most important question you will ever ask yourself is, is the universe friendly? Let me repeat that. The most important question you will ever ask yourself is, is the universe friendly? Notice Einstein didn't say anything about whether the universe is friendly or not. He said, you get to decide whether the universe is friendly or not. The vast overwhelming majority of us believe the universe is neither friendly nor unfriendly. It's indifferent. The universe doesn't know I exist and couldn't care less. Here I am going around doing my thing. There's the universe going around doing it. Think sometimes it seems to be working for me. Sometimes it seems to be working against me. But essentially it's a random process. What if that wasn't true? What if the universe was aware that you existed? Not only was the universe aware that you existed, but it was well-disposed towards you. It was your friend. Well, friends don't shaft friends. Do they? Of course not. So the universe was your friend. Why does the universe give you stuff you don't want? You want to travel and go on vacation. The universe gives you pandemics and lockdown. Why? Well, what if the universe doesn't give you what you wanted, but exactly what you needed for your learning and growth? Like you're a small child and you want a tub of ice cream. And the universe through your parents gives you fruits and vegetables and you don't want fruits and vegetables. You want that tub of ice cream. But the universe gives you fruits and vegetables and it isn't until you reach a much different higher level of maturity that you can say, 'Hang on, I got fruits and vegetables.' What if the universe was like that? What if it gives you not what you want, but exactly what you need? What if it gives you stuff that you don't want? But it's exactly what you need. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out Tracy that regardless of whether the universe was friendly or not, if you decided the universe was friendly, your experience of life would be a whole lot better, correct? Of course. That's what Einstein meant when he said, the most important question you will ever ask yourself is is the universe friendly? So how do you go around living in a friendly universe? You work at it. I'll give you an example. So the other day I was at a supermarket and my wife asked me to pick up something. She was making something and we're short and ingredient. So I got it and just as I went to the checkout counter, there was only one lady in the open, the lady came in front of me and she had one of these shopping baskets that was old flowing and she had stuff in her hands on top and her husband was carrying something beside her and say, "Oh God, it's going to take me forever to get out of here." And even as I was thinking that she looked at me sweetly and said, "Oh you only have one item. What did you go ahead of me?" So I went ahead of her and as I went ahead of her, someone tapped me in the shoulder and said, "I'm going to open up lane number two. What did you come there?" And you know, the light vanished. Stuff like that happens to us all the time and what do we do? We ignore it. We maybe feel good for a second or two and then we forget about it. Big mistake. Look upon that as a sign that the universe is friendly. The friendly universe is interceded in your behalf. Write it down. Most of us think we remember. No, you won't remember. Write it down. I'll give you another example. So I spoke recently at an entrepreneur's conference in Rio de Janeiro and my wife and I decided, "Let's make it a vacation in addition to my business trip. So we'll spend a day in Rio and go to the Iguals and Falls and come back." And we were all excited about that. So landed up at JFK and our flight to Rio was cancelled. So we rebuked another flight from JFK to São Paulo to Rio and that flight was delayed and then it was delayed and another two hours and another two hours. And finally, after we had spent close and 24 hours in JFK, they cancelled that flight. By now my wife was so fed up, she said, you know, "Cancel the whole damn thing." And we had checked in luggage and to get back luggage which you have checked in is a nightmare. It just horrible all through. So we cancelled the trip and then I went back to Rio alone just for my trip. The conference went beautifully. Well, my talk was very well received and I was supposed to go from Rio to São Paulo and then cast my flight to JFK back from there and my flight from Rio to São Paulo was cancelled. And then we scrambled around and my wife booked me on a flight from Rio to Lima and Lima back to JFK but that would have meant spending an entire night at the airport in Rio after I had just spent a night at the airport in JFK. Totally not happy with it. One of the good things about Rio though is that the airport launches at 24 hours. So I was going back to my lounge when I passed an American Airlines lounge and I remembered that American I had a direct flight from Rio to JFK. So I walked in there and said, "Hey, you know, I know you have a flight. Can you put me on there?" Now you got to understand that I'm diamond on Delta but I had no status at American at all and the lady there said, "Sir, this is an airport lounge. We don't do any ticketing or anything like that. So if you want that, you're going to go to the airline ticket counter which means I had to go outside the security, go to another terminal, see whether they could do something and then come back through security." And I said, "No way, I'm going to do that. I'll just spend the night here." And then she came back and I was walking off and she came back and I could hear a factory clack and you know, and her high heels and I turned around and said, "Sir, please come back." So I went back and she spoke to several people. I don't know what she said because she was speaking for I don't speak Portuguese. And then she said, "Sir, I can't promise anything, "but why did you come to this gate at this time?" So I went to that gate at that time, and then there was, she came down, and the American Airlines gate agent, you know, literally almost as though Jesus had taken human form and come down, you made a bunch of phone calls, and he got me on that flight from Rio to JFK directly. And not only that, but he called that him, which is the airline on which I had my ticket and got it transferred over to American, so I didn't even have to pay extra. Wow, friendly universe. Now I could choose to concentrate on the fact that my vacation was canceled and we ruined all the rest of that, or I could choose to concentrate on, look, you know, what a set of circumstances. Have you ever heard of an airport lounge attendant coordinating with a gate agent to make something like that happen for a person who has no status at all? No. When you look for signs of the friendly universe, Tracy, you will find them everywhere. I advise all of my coaching clients to find at least 12 to 15 such instances every day. Beautiful. I'll give you a beautiful one right now. So we were supposed to have this podcast two weeks ago and you got on and you were frustrated. I was frustrated because one of us could hear the other and the other could hear the first one and no matter what happened, we couldn't make it work. They said, okay, you know, it's not. And now we're having this. And you know, I'm more relaxed now and the conversation is just flowing. Friendly universe. That's right. And when you start looking for signs that there is a friendly universe, you'll find them everywhere. So if you keep a notebook as I advise all my coaching clients to do and you start making notes of that within the period of two, three weeks, you'll find 50, 60, 80 examples of friendly universe. And when you look at that, you reach an internal tipping point. And in that internal tipping point, you say if there are so many instances that the universe is friendly, is it possible? Is it just barely possible that perhaps it is a friendly universe after all? And that's when you tip over and you start living in a friendly universe and your entire experience of life changes. That's why Einstein said the most important question you will ask yourself is the universe friendly? - Beautiful. - And you know if you're in a friendly universe, you'll find that, you know, stuff happens. But, you know, you simply deal with it because the universe is only giving you what you need for you good. And as you do that, you become closer to the state that, you know, is called the Kingdom of Heaven, Awakening and Lightmen, Saksad-Karabhram, there's so many names for it. But it's all a recognition that there is only one. You're impacted by the universe. You are impacting the universe and eventually you will recognize that there is only one. There is no you, there is no me anytime, there is you and there is me, there is strife, there is conflict, there is imposition or will. But when there is only one, then what happens? - Dr. Rao, if someone is listening, and I could talk to you all day, and part of it is because it just is such a breath of fresh air and it also helps pull me out of all the minutia and it helps me pull out and look from an observer and look into my life and recognize where I'm efforting way too much, I'm striving too much, I'm coming from a place of pushing which feels constricting. And so if someone else who's listening to this says, I feel that way and I'd like to work with him, how do you recommend people reach you or find out more about what you're doing? - Send me an email, they can browse my website and there's a ton of information on that. And they can simply email me if they want to work with me and my email is very simple, it's my name, [email protected]. [email protected]. This is very powerful Tracy and you tell me whether you find it powerful or not and let me give you the background, okay? The background is there's this Westerner who was on a spiritual quest and he landed up in China and he stayed in many monasteries and holy places and met very remarkable people. Now we've got to understand this was pre-communist China. So once the communists came to power, they very systematically did a good job of destroying all of these monasteries and holy places and scrolls. So it doesn't exist anymore. So this was before pre-communism. So what happened in a particular monastery is a state for several of me weeks and he became very close to one of the young priests, one of the acolytes and that. And they formed a very close relationship and then when the time came to leave, they were both very sorry. So here is how the author describes that parting, okay? I tried with indifferent success to follow his parting advice to me. "Do not grieve elder brother. We shall miss each other, but let it not be too much." As the preceptor said yesterday, you and I and all beings are animated by the one spirit. No parting and no meeting ever really take place. When we rejoice at a meeting or grieve at a parting, we are allowing false understanding to take the place of truth. Wherever you go in this life and in life to come, I shall be with you. The light which shines deep, deep within your own heart is my light, the light of all. And when at last we have gained the object of our great search, even apparent differences and divisions will be to me, you and I will know ourselves for the one that we have never ceased to be. - Did you find that powerful Tracy? - So powerful. - That is a whole point. And of course, what frequently happens as people say, where did that come from? And you know what I'm going to do, Tracy? I'm not going to tell you, but if anyone is interested in knowing where that came from, they can shoot me an e-mail. - I love it. Dr. Raul, thank you so much for sharing your time and your. - When I've had such fun in an interview. I really appreciate it. And you've brought a lot of joy and light into today. - Thank you. - Thank you. (upbeat music)