The podcast episode centers on the profound influence of maternal guidance, sharing personal stories of times the host and others should have listened to their mothers—such as avoiding excessive makeup, driving recklessly, or getting married young. One key lesson from the host’s mother is refusing to feel guilt unless wrongdoing occurred, which has deeply shaped her emotional well-being. The mother also instilled a powerful work ethic and mindset of action, encouraging the host to “just do it” and take risks, building confidence in her decisions. The episode also explores parenting dynamics, like children’s attachment to stuffed animals and co-sleeping, showing how habits evolve with age. A surprising statistic is introduced: for the first time in 90 years, more U.S. citizens have left the country than immigrated, driven by affordability and remote work. Other topics include the dangers of not washing cherished toys, the absurdity of massive beds (like the Alaskan King Bed), and the emotional weight of co-sleeping. Ultimately, the episode celebrates the enduring role of parents as mentors, acknowledging that while children grow into independent decision-makers, their parents remain a vital source of wisdom, humor, and emotional grounding. It balances heartfelt reflection with lighthearted moments, emphasizing that parenting is not just about rules, but about shaping values and self-awareness.
The actor if I could shave my eyebrows and she said no, immediately shave off way too much. So then I said, I'm going to cut my bangs. She'll never notice. - Thank you, thank you! - You're first! Immediately walk at the house, she goes, what did you do? - My mom told me not to date this guy and he cheated on me with his cousin. - Harley, are you okay? - My mom is incredibly servant-hearted. It's just like the way that she always steps in. Especially when these moments when you really need your mom, that's her legacy that I want to pass on to my kids. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - Welcome back to Always Here! - We're your host, Abby Howard. - And Abby Howard. - And we are here to share the hope in the heart, with heart and in humor. - As always. - Yeah. - How are we doing? - Actually great. Remember when CJ's beloved cow, he has a little warmey stuffed animal. - Yeah. - That's beloved in our house. And he's loved it for maybe a year and a half. Well, the warme is the first time I didn't realize that you can't wash it on the washing machine. It just produces the most intense, putrid mold smell that engulfs your entire house. - 'Cause it's filled with something. - Yeah, it's filled with lavender and flaxseed. And so I got stuff on it, and I'm like, - Maybe a lot of stuff. - No, I put it in the washing machine. And so then it gets wet and moldy. - Oh. - Yeah, and the mold, like it just never dries out inside. So I ruined it's first one. This was like a year ago. And I told CJ that cow was on vacation. Well, cow is now on another vacation. - What happened to cow? - Well, CJ had a diaper accident and yeah, got on cow. So. - Poop. - Yeah. - I know. It was, it was, how on cow? - I know, it was a dark day, but thankfully, kill was home, not me. So I didn't have to deal with it. (laughing) - Too badly, but yeah, poor cow is on another vacation. So I'm trying to decide. I made a whole video last time. We made a PowerPoint and I said, cow is in New York. - Yeah, yeah. - And he traveled the whole world. 'Cause it takes a little bit for shipping. - You need a budget set aside for cows. - Yeah, we love the Wormies. And from that video, it got a lot of views. So we have like a good relationship with Wormies now. But I did buy his new cow. It's like $20 a cow. And people are like, buy multiple, buy multiple. What do we think? I am. Made money. (laughing) Sends $100 on cows just to put in the closet. I just bought one, but I think it does pose a question of how long do you go? - People don't ever wash their beloved childhood blankets and stuffed animals because they love the smell. - I thought you were going somewhere different with that question. - Oh, sorry. - Like how long do you keep a stuffed animal? Some people. - Oh, no. I know, my friends keep it forever and they don't wash them because they love the smell. The smell is comforting and nostalgic. So CJ's cow, it was mangly and just disgusting. So what's the line of when you go like, we just have to replace it? - You know, I actually have no memory of washing any of my stuffed animals. - Right. So maybe I just don't worry about it. - Well, you know, my kids are not attached to anything stuffed animal like we've tried. - Yeah. - We've tried. I really would like to replace binkies. Update. - Oh, this is huge. - Just wait. There's a follow up. - Oh. - I was waiting for two days. - I almost texted you and I was like, I'm sure she'll tell in the plot. - So the other day, our oldest son runs into our bedroom at 10.30 p.m., which is no surprise because I've had time to never ruin kids. Like a one and done thing. - Sure. - Or like multiple trips, the whole process goes. And so he runs in, and he'd been in his room for like a couple hours at this point. Like we hadn't seen him emerge. And he has all of his binkies. He just, which should have been gone a long time ago. And it's been attempted many times. One time they were gone for six months. - Yeah. - K back. (laughing) - We needed to sleep again. I needed to sleep without my three-year-old right next to me. And so that was when he was actually two and a half. Wow. It's been a year. (laughing) - So after all of this back and forth, he just domes all the binkies in Matt's lap. And he's like, I'm ready to get rid of these. I wanna give these to babies. - Oh, that's so good. - And I'm like, what? Oh my goodness, like what in the world? And we're like, okay, he runs back to bed. Comes back a minute later with one more binky. And he gives it back to Matt. And then runs back in his room and goes back to sleep the rest of the night. We didn't see him. He didn't even come in our room. Like he normally comes in our room. - Wow, that's huge. - We're like, oh my gosh, like this feels huge. Like this is like big time. Like what, and then in my head, I'm like my whole outlook on parenting has changed. So I'm just gonna wait for the child to tell me when they're ready for transitions. Fall up night, but I'm in bed. And we're like, okay, night night. We're like, I'm trying to leave. And then he's like, but where's my binkies? - Oh. - And I'm like, oh, well, you gave them to the babies. Like remember, he's like, no, but I want them. And we're like, no, but we can like go back and forth for so long. - Yeah. - Then Matt goes, he comes back in the room and he has one. He goes, I'm giving it back. (laughing) And I was like, honestly. - Frank. (laughing) - Like my tongue closed. - I was so proud of him too. I literally announced it to you guys and announced it to all my friends. - Yeah. - I told everybody in the world that everyone on this podcast. - Well, maybe it'll be like a back and forth thing. - I do think conditioning. - Because he does keep talking now more about big boy things and like baby things. And he's kind of starting to separate the two in his mind. - Totally. - Eventually, they will be gone. But I did have a heart to heart with his dentist. And I was like, hey, just tell it to him straight. I love like direct honesty with them. Like I'm like, you can't drink this 'cause it has alcohol. You can't. - Yeah, it's caffeine. - And so, but we're like usually very honest with them. I'm like, hey, you have full permission to tell him that his teeth are gonna get messed up. - Yeah, yeah. - And he goes, I will tell him that. He goes, but also he goes, the worst thing that can happen is that he'll need braces. And I put braces on like 80% of the kids that come here. - It's so true. - Okay, well, that's kind of comforting the more. - That was comforting to me. But then I was like, but tell him that is to get messed up. - Yeah. - And he was and the Griffin's like, yeah, my teeth will get messed up. It's like, it's gonna happen eventually. - Does there a palette? You go back no matter what? - I don't think it actually, our dentist didn't seem to think that was a big issue. I put the jaw on the palette. - Good. - Unless maybe they're literally never, he'd only use it at night when they sleep. - Right. - But I don't know, he didn't, he didn't mention that. Cause I was like, I was worried about the development. He's like, no. - Yeah. - Okay, well, we'll trust the professionals. - Yeah, I was like, what? - I love the professionals. - We're never leaving this dentist. - He's telling me, we love you dentist. - We're not leaving this one. - We're seeing it through this. (laughing) - It's just so wrong. I'm like, I just need this huge kid and he's just like, I'm like, he'll get there. He's already getting there. - It'll be probably a traditional thing, you know? - I'm not, here's what I'm not doing. I'm not sleeping for six months. - Yeah, right. - That's what I'm not doing. (laughing) - Anyway. - It'll be good, it'll be fine. - This past weekend was really fun. - Yeah, how did you end up in the whole, like our side of the family went to Flagstaff. It's literally just a two hour drive and there's snow in the mountains. It was warm. - Like, apparently the weekend before, they got like two feet of snow. - Yeah. - And our weekend was like very warm. - Yeah. - So I melted and then got icy or what? - I wore coat when we went skiing, but I didn't really need it. I took off my, I had leggings and then my snow pants and then I had a t-shirt, a jacket and then my coat. - Yeah. - I took off all the underlayers and just had the top layers. So I want to get wet. - Honestly, amazing. - It was snow all night. - It was like short sleep shirts going down. - But the conditions weren't good. - What an oxymoron. - No, they weren't that good. - It was like really slushy at the bottom, but we went at the start of the day, so it was still cold. - Yeah. - And it was good, but near the end of the day, it was getting a little warmer at the bottom of the day. - Yeah, interesting. - But it was really fun. I have only gone skiing one time before that and so it was good to go back in again. - I love doing it. - You skiing, not snowboarded. - Yeah, we ski. - I'm like a nice ski, you guys snowboard, but I'm not very good at it at all. - Yeah. - But it was fun. I took the motto from the howards of howards do hard things, and I, like made me go on a, on a blue, and I was like, okay, sure, let's do it. I get up there, I look down and I'm like, how am I getting down, can I go back down? - I know. - And I got up there and I was like, I can do hard things, I can do hard things, I can do hard things. - And then I started singing it. I was like, I can do hard things. I can do hard things. - I mean, that's amazing. - You're a nail tie, you're really a whole old. - We're really just preaching to ourselves, not our kids. - We can do hard things. - I was like, I wish I was joking, I really liked it. - No, it's great. - I love that. - It was fun. - Skying is scary. - I've never seen you ski. - Yeah, I haven't done it since college. I want to go back, but I know you just have to, the initial fear is there. It never sounds fun. Like when you wake up in the morning, you're like, why didn't we pay this money to do this? - Right. - Why did we do all the hassle? - Right. - But then you're like, going down the mountain, you're like, this is actually fun. - So fun and so beautiful, you ski. - I ski, yeah, I in my head, I'm like, oh, I want to learn how to snowboard. Full well-knowing, I would be not, okay with that. - I'm scared to skateboard. I don't like being, actually, I don't like being sideways like that. I like seeing straight forward, we're going, I also just have my two fears in life are speed in heights. So, you know, skiing is high up and fast. So I just, I'm like, but I want to get over that. I want to conquer those things. I went on the Ferret's wheel at shields with CJ, and I was like, every time he moved, I was like, hey, see you just sit down. - It's the kid in department store Ferret's wheel. - That's true about you, I think we're all this way, but you were like, really chill about most things, but then there's a few things that you're like, really not chill about. - Yeah, I feel like that's everybody. - Caleb was like, what's wrong with you? He's like, you kept squirming and looking all weird. He's like, I was a little nervous. He goes, that's ridiculous. I'm like, can we do some great stuff?
- Face, okay, I was scared. And, yeah, heights and speed. I just don't like feeling out of control of my body. - Yeah. - Yeah, and that'll do it. - Yeah. - But I will go. - My confession is that when Matt taught me, how to snowboard, I said a lot of bad words. (laughing) - Under your brain. - That was like, oh my God. (laughing) And then I started crying because I was hurting so bad. And then my tears started to get frozen to my face because I learned at night skiing, pitch black out, really cold. - Right. - And my butt hurt so bad because I'm a weird tailbone. - Yeah. - And I thought I broke it. And so then Matt got me a middle school boys, football girdle to wear. - Did it help? - Yeah, that's actually a great solution. - I still have it and I still have it. - Yeah, you should wear it. - Well I don't really fall anytime soon. - Sometimes she's right around the house. - I actually. (laughing) - You were going to tell me why I've done this steps. - No! - I should honestly, but no, I don't really wear it actually anymore when I start working. - I haven't fallen that much. - Good. - Recent attempts down the mountain. - The last time I skied, it was in college, it was on my girlfriend. So I've never actually learned how to ski. It was just like, get on your skis and go. - Oh, you didn't do it as a kid. - I did once, but it was so long ago that it doesn't really count. - I feel like with skiing you can just go. - Yeah. - Even if it's like-- - You should be a pizza and learn how to cut and stuff. - Okay. - But they were like, at the end of the day, let's do a blue, got up there. I had no skill. So I'd going down, it was freezing, it started snowing really hard and the snow turned to ice. And then I remember I fell and I couldn't get back up. Every time I stood up, I kept falling. I finally got up, it was backwards. So I'd going down the mountain backwards. I was full on panic attack crying to like the tears were frozen in my goggles. And that was the last time. - That was the last time. - We had to go with the tension. - I would love to go over them. We're doing that. - Matt took Griffin because he was like, if he's gonna learn, he needs to learn when he's down, when he's close to the ground, has no fear. And it just becomes second nature. So I agree with that. - I agree with that. - Really cute. - The videos were adorable. - And the fact that my mom and my grandma, who's like almost 80, walked down that mountain just so they could watch him do two runs on the bunny hill. And my dad, they're like, "What, yeah, so sweet." And Matt is literally just holding him down. It's so sweet. - I was like, wow, the family support is strong. - I feel like there's been a switch in my, maybe we just talked about this in the call, actually now I'm thinking about it. There has been a switch to me after pregnancy, where I'm like, I want to conquer my fears. I want to do hard things again. And like everything that I was scared of before, I feel like I have free will. I want to take skiing lessons. I want to take tennis lessons. I want to do all these things that I'm bad at and get good at them. I just want to face them hold on, you know? Let's do tennis lessons. - I would love to do tennis lessons. - I feel like I would be terrible. - Wait, we should do a segment where we talk about how we want to use our free will. And things that we want to do, that just seemed a little out of pocket. - Yeah, I used my free will the other day and I went on a walk to get myself a little treat and then walked back and I was like, wow. - That was amazing. - That's always been an option. (laughing) Never tried to make this life as crazy nowadays. (laughing) - I was by myself for an hour and a half. It was crazy. - It's crazy, that's great. - So yeah. - Speaking of crazy, should we do wow, that's crazy? - Let's do it. - Yes, I don't know what it is. - Well, just crazy. - Now that's crazy, that's crazy. - It's not that crazy. I actually think this is more interesting and kind of a fun one. So for the first time in 90 years, it's a great depression. More US citizens have left America than come in. Wait, more citizens have left America than come in. - Wow. - Yes. And I actually, I was seeing without this because I know four girls that live abroad. - Okay. - Yeah, like they met men, they met significant others and live abroad. And so I was like, wait, I actually know a lot of people that don't live here anymore and I've like, far gone there. They probably keep their citizenship. But I just thought that was really interesting. And I don't think you can, can you lose your citizenship? - No. - Yeah, if you're born here, you're like, yeah. Well, I don't know. (laughing) We should fact check that. But isn't that interesting? That is interesting. - The first time in 90 years. - Do you think it's 'cause they hate the president? I don't know. I would kind of look up some of the reasons. I mean, I'm sure some people probably, but most of the reasons the listed were cost of living is really high in America. And it's like, okay, I looked up on just Italy, for example. Italy is 30 to 70% cheaper cost of living than America. So if you can live somewhere else cheaper, also a lot of people work remote. And there's more hybrid work options. And also just opportunity, I feel like there's, it's just easier to go abroad in this day and age than it was in the past. - That feels overwhelming to me. - To go live abroad. - Even the thought of like buying property somewhere else. Like we have friends about property in Mexico. And I'm like, that, how'd you even do that? How'd you even go about that? - That's so true. - So it says you don't lose your citizenship unless you voluntarily renounce it. So then you also don't have to pay like taxes and stuff in two different countries. - That's interesting. Did you know that if you work in a different country, you still have to pay American taxes if you're a citizen? - Yeah. - So even if you live in a different country and you have a job that you still have to pay income tax to America. - I didn't know that. - That's probably why people would renounce that they - Yeah, they're citizenship first. - Positive, I guess. That's, when Kielb told me that, I was like, "Wait, that's really interesting." - You paused your subscription to America? - Yeah, they paused your subscription. You said pause. I was like, I don't know. It feels like, it's just, they're like, are you sure you want to cancel? (laughing) - Go to your email to confer your kids' links. (laughing) - You can also lose it if you commit an active reason against your. - I see that one makes probably a lot of sense. - Yeah. - So what counts as reason also? It sounds so. - If you serve in the armed forces of a foreign state, engage in hostilities against this. - Oh, well yeah, that would be. - I don't have a possibility of that. I'm not in the military so. I don't have a possibility of that. - You also cannot renounce the citizenship of your child. - That makes sense. - Yeah, that shouldn't be it. - I think that's appropriate. You make a lot of decisions for your children, but you shouldn't be able to probably make that one. - Yeah. - Yeah, so that's the, well that's crazy fact. - That is a fun fact. Yeah, would you live abroad ever? - Would I live abroad, yes. Would I move permanently? I don't think that would happen. - Yeah. - I don't even, I just, yeah, we're really close with our whole family. Like I just would, it would be really hard to leave. I feel like the people doing that probably, my guess is that they're not as close with their family. - I don't know. The ones that I, the girls that I know from college in high school that I'll live abroad are close with their families. How could you be souped? - Well, their significant others are from these other countries. - They just call a lot. - I don't know. Honestly, I feel like they travel a lot based off of their social media and stuff. But yeah, I just, I would definitely would. I think it'd be really cool. I don't think I'd ever permanently move. - Oh, yeah. - Yeah, no. - But I would love to go, I mean, when everyone has a dream to like live in Italy for a couple months and-- - Yeah, a couple months. - Yeah. - Or even a year. Like that would, I just don't see myself permanently. I love America. - Where are the places that you would move? Domestically or abroad. I would love to live in New York City for just one year. - See, for me, I would like New York City for one summer. - Oh, I don't know if I would have done it. - I don't think I could do it for super long. Gosh, I always say I like, everyone loves Nashville. I feel like everyone's moving to Nashville. I could, when we spent a month there and I was like, I could see myself like living here. If one day like our whole family moved. Like I'd be like, oh, yeah, sick. I'm in. - Yeah. - Yeah, I could see myself living there. - I had no desire to move. If I moved anywhere, go back home. - No, honestly, I'm like not a travel person. I don't wanna live abroad. I don't wanna, I don't know. I'm just really stuck in my routine and my schedule and my home that I would, it would really throw me off to like go and be in a different place. - I'm not super adoptable. I've realized. - I feel like you are though. I feel like you're moved here. You've made friends, joined community. I feel like it's been, I feel like that was very like a thought out decision of like, are we gonna move here? Are we gonna do that? Like knowing there's family and friends. Like you had to be intentional about moving here. I would never move somewhere if there wasn't like family or a reason to be there. I don't think I would just do it for fun. I don't think that would be fun. - Well, I feel like that's for me. That's the purpose of travel. Like I'm like, I just, yeah. I feel like that doesn't really count as moving if it's for like a temporary thing. - Sure. - You know, yeah. I couldn't think of any other city besides Phoenix that I would wanna live indomestically. And then the other place I'd be just great for traveling or spending extended time in. So, yeah, I don't only see as much as there. - Nashville feels like home in a way that's weird because I've never lived there. Like it is, I'm thinking of Franklin specifically. - I feel like it, from what I'm sounds like, it does sound like a hybrid of the fast-paced, kind of opportunity feel of the West with the cozy Midwest charm. - It really feels Midwest, not, it doesn't feel Southern in my opinion. - Yeah, I would consider that Midwest to me. - Well, if you go to Memphis, now that feels Southern. And they're like, not that far. - Well, I say if you go to Springfield, Southern, but Missouri is Southern. - It's not their fake Southern. - I think Missouri is the Midwest, but that is a hot debate on my Instagram. - You're kidding. - They think it's a South? - Yes. - What? - Yes, it's not interesting. - The South would be appalled by that. - I think so too. - I think that's really where the most Midwest that you could get. - Yeah, as the middle of the country. - Yeah. - Besides Kansas, they only do it in the West. - We're just kinda middle. - I guess we're not really that far West. - We're kinda just middle. - Yeah, Midwest is a weird name for it. But yeah, people really think Missouri is the South. - Wow, we all disagree, but that's not true. - Wow, that's crazy. - That is crazy. - Thank you to Cozy Earth for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. - Did you know that sleeping in a cooler environment offers several scientifically supported benefits that enhance sleep quality and overall health? - I believe that, actually. - I do too. - When it's hot, I'm like-- - I ain't sleeping. - Not rested. - Uh-uh. - And that's what Cozy Earth's whole design is based on, because their bamboo sheets our team.
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I mean, you can't beat it. - Cannot beat it. - And they make amazing gifts. I recently gifted some to my sister-in-law, Addy. - Discover how care in every detail transform simple routines into moments of true comfort and ease. You can head to cozyearth.com and use our code Abbey for up to 20% off. That's code Abbey for up to 20% off. - And if you get a post-purchase survey, be sure to mention you heard about cozyearth right here. Experience the craft behind the comfort and make everyday feel intentional. - There is another one. Addy's going to leave this one off because I don't know anything about that. - Another crazy thing. - Another wildest crazy that we've actually talked about before, but you can never find exactly what you were trying to talk about. Hunter Primo, if that's how you say her last name. - Oh, she's from Nashville. - And she posted about her megabed. - Oh, yes, I followed that. - And it just has 2.1 million views on TikTok. She posted a couple days ago. So I put the TikTok in there and she talks all about it to explain to people about her megabed and it is the Alaskan King Bed. - Yeah, it's called an Alaskan King Bed. - Yes. - I follow her and I saw this on Instagram. Let me see it. (upbeat music) - So wait, what were the dimensions of the bed? She said it's 10 feet by 108 inches long or 180 inches long. - I don't know why I can't fathom that many inches. - I can't fathom that many inches either, but I know it's probably big. We have a King Bed in our room when I can't walk. So I'm just like, wow. That's impressive. - The original, did she say she has the biggie? - Biggie small. - She has the biggie, okay. The biggie, um. - How much is it? - Biggie Junior, that's what it is. - I bet it's very expensive. - I can tell you, but it's 120 inches by 180. - Okay, wow. - What are your guesses at how much that costs? - I'm gonna say three, what? - The bed. - The mattress. - For the mattress? - I'm gonna say 3,000. - 3,000? - Oh, right. - It was? - 3,700. - Yeah. - Well, that's $1,000 off. So the full price is $4,700. - Wow. - I mean-- - But then you have the bedding and the sheets. - It's custom. - Well, the actual bed too, 'cause it's one of the bed frames. - What is the bed frame? - Do you want a polstered leather? - She had a polstered. - Okay, a polstered thing. - I think, yeah, I think so. It was beautiful. - Depends on what you want. The cheapest option is a platform. And it's 1900. - Wow. - An Alpine is $4,800. - That's $4,800. - Yeah, on this. - There's a bunch of different designs, but they range up to $12,000. - Yeah. - Oh my God, it feels like custom. - It was kind of custom. - I feel like I could see NBA players needing beds like this. You know, really massive football players. And then mothers that love to sleep with other children. - Yeah. - I get it. - Wait, why is this crazy? - I think it's just crazy because there's a lot of different opinions on having a sleeping bed. - Co-sleeping, like getting a big bed. The most like comment on this is, do you not like your husband? Even though the husband said he prefers it. - I honestly feel that. When killed by a switch from a queen to a king, I felt isolated on a little island in the king. - Because you know when a queen, we were always armed to arm. - Because they're both large people. Like I'm tall and he's a big dude. So we were, you know, neck and neck. And now in a king bed, I'm like, where'd he go? - Where's he at? You know? - This was my thing. I'm like, when you're asleep, how much quality time are you getting together? - I guess more than I assumed. - No, you're not really getting any quality. You're asleep. - Yeah, but I was getting a lot of physical touch. - Nonsensual physical touch. - Like when you're asleep. - Like this is not what physical touch while we're sleeping. - I sleep like that. - But he's at the top of me the other night. Well, he was asleep. - Blake is a really weird sleeper. - I said that. - That is really weak. - Oh. - He's like, Blake. - Oh, what? - I'm like, you're on top of me. (laughing) - Oh, is it filling your cup? - Because you're asleep. - Yeah, I think because he's gone all day, I love to touch him at night. - Okay. - I'm a clingy wife, but it's okay. - It's okay. - Where I isolated now. - No, like my thing is I'm like, if I feel like I used to think that, I'm like, but actually when you really think about it for me, I was like, I was unconscious. Like I'm done. I don't, I go to bed, I don't wake up. - Sure. - Like I'm like, so I wasn't like, oh, that was not really necessarily bonding us just to sleep in the same bed, which we do sleep in the same bed. And our son does sleep with us, but not in the bed with us. - I don't think it's co-sleeping if your bed's that big, to be honest. It's like, you have like a lot of space. You're not even near each other. You're on different planets. - You're not touching each other. - They have the dogs on the bed too. - Yeah, I think they're fine. - It says a developmental psychologist here. Children will eventually want to sleep independently. Co-sleeping with children, if they need it, provide security. - Yeah, yeah. I'm not doing it, but I don't have an opinion really. - Well, I don't think anyone really should have an opinion about the people. - Yeah. - Whatever. - Whatever, like what works for you guys is great. Yeah, no, I would, actually at one point, Matt and I were like, we need to just get a bigger bed. But we also really like falling asleep together because of intimacy. - Right. - So then we like let him come in once his little hatch light is a certain color. - We can have free access to our bedroom. - No, of course not. - That one is psycho about this weekend in Flagstaff is that you guys brought the hatch. And so we're all there. We're staying up late, you know, things like that. And so Blake's downstairs and he's still awake. Matt and Abbie have already gone upstairs there in their room. And Blake looks over and sees Griffin's head outside it, like just looking down from the stairs. And he's like, buddy, are you, are you supposed to be awake? He goes, yeah, I can go in my parents' room. The lights, the lights blew. Blake doesn't know this. So he's like, are you sure? Like are you, are you sure you're allowed to be normal? - Yeah, the lights, the lights blew. - Every night. - He starts to open the door. And Blake's like, I don't know. I don't, he goes, go downstairs, Coco. - Oh my gosh, it's fine. - He's like, his light turns blue at 11.30. - Oh, that's sweet. - Yeah. - Yeah, I can totally see the appeal. Your kids, like everyone just, for some families, at least for us, like everyone just slept so much better. And I'm like, you know what, at the end of the day, I just want to sleep. And so like that was like the way it was happening. And I can see, but I can see kids being very different. Like my second, there's just not a world where he would be able to sleep in the same bed as us. He doesn't even understand the concept of it. Like one time he woke up really early and we're like, just a kid in here. He's like, what do you mean? - What are we doing? - Yeah, see if he's kind of like that. - He needs to sleep deprivation tank. - Right, right. - So he's like, what is that? - He's like, where's your tent? (laughing) Where is your little tent? - That's hilarious. - No, that's sweet. - I think he is evolving into that at one point. We have this space in our room, I can see it happening. I feel like co-sleeping with an infant feels very different than a toddler. - I wouldn't want that. - I'd be really anxious about that. - Same. - So that's why I'm like, when people get upset about toddler's co-sleeping, I'm like, why? - Well, she already mentioned that-- - She has a controversy also. And she said in that video they don't sleep in the bed. She sleeps in her room. - Yeah, she's not great. - When she gets back and up, they'll come and sleep in the bed. - Yeah, I just, I don't really understand the controversy with that one. The kids get old enough to sleep in a bed. You know what I mean? - Yeah. - And it'll all happen, it'll all happen. - Yeah. - It's okay if it's at different timings. - Totally. - It's okay if your kid has binkies forever. (laughing) - I mean, just say that for myself. - It'll be fine, I'll be doing great. - Hey, it's, no, Abby, trust me. I laid down on that one. I was just like, he'll, he'll, he'll, then trust me. - I feel bad. I'm like, your mom always, always tells the boys. Like, Brielle doesn't need a binky. I'm like, you don't have to tell the man. - That's what I told them. - She uses her thumb. She's still using something. (laughing) - Well, it's great. - Okay, cut that one off. - Well, speaking of moms. (laughing) Was that smooth enough? - Yeah, I mean, I said at the same time. - Speaking of moms, today is, or today's episode is really about things our moms taught us. - Yeah. - And, you know, we, I feel like we're all very grateful to like have really involved moms that enjoy being moms and being involved in our lives, even as adults, which I seriously, I, I do not take lightly at all. It's like such a blessing. It's, there's literally, there's nothing like it. So, we're really grateful for that. But, I think we can also, before we get into that, relate to times that we should have listened to our moms, and we did not, and we learned the hard way. - Yes. - So, we asked you guys some of your stories about times that you should have listened to your mom and you had to learn the hard way. When in middle school, she told me, my excessive eyeliner did not look good, and I should have listened. I wore so much eyeliner in middle school. - That actually reminds me, you did? - Yeah, pencil eyeliner all the way around my eyes. - Wow. - Yeah, I just feel like that's what we thought to do. - No, I wore mascara one day to sixth grade, and someone was like, do you have mascara on? And I was like, no, and then I never wore it again, to sixth grade. I didn't wear makeup for until maybe eighth grade. And sixth grade is when I started wearing eyeliner and eighth grade I started wearing a lot of eyes.
shadow and I used to wear purple eye shadow because I read in 17 magazine that it made a brown eyes pop of course and then I used to just like pile on my face and one time I had a volleyball coach asked me why do you feel like you need to wear so much makeup and I know she meant it in a nice way but I was like because I feel pretty I didn't think anything of it now looking back I'm like I think she was trying to lovingly tell me I should have been wearing that much makeup I mean at her place though probably not but you know my mom always this is this reminds me my mom always told me she's like do not put a point out at the base of your neck really why I she's like higher up oh she was like she well I don't even think it was that she was just like I would literally just like look it and put it at the base of them and now ironically enough that's kind of a trend maybe not like how I was really I was doing it like super low like as low as I could possibly get it and I remember her and my grandma would always be like Abby where you're her down don't do that it looks so pretty down I was like bothering me whatever mom then wrote in and said wearing my retainers after braces RIP oh my gosh it's so hard yes did that happen to you your teeth moved yep yours and yours for the metal mouth for the braces yeah it's a hard one no one wears their retainers I wear my retainer you do at night like I tried to wear it once a week just to keep into at this point yeah I'm like they're there they're moving I never had braces so can't relate beautiful teeth girl um okay with Lily said my mom told me to not drive on oxy code on everyone was fine but never again I like leaving some space for some thoughts there that's illegal that's what that's not just your mom that's the law that's actually everybody Lily you living a learn glad everyone was fine but gosh never again that's okay yeah she's she figured it out okay the queen of the castle I love that username said when she said to drive safe and at 16 years old I thought I was big and bad and ended up totally a car oh I used to drive so reckless at 16 oh I know it's so scary oh man my mom and dad are right this person doesn't have a name but this is a little bit of a longer story not me but at time my brother should have listened to my mom for me I was probably two and my brother was seven and my mom asked him to take me inside because she was pulling the car around to wash it on the side of the house I was sitting in the front yard playing in a bucket of water my brother did not listen my mom pulls the car around clearly thinking I'm inside with my brother and not in any danger and I'm sitting in the yard he runs the door after realizing my mom was driving through the yard where I was she sees him standing in the door and asked where I am and he is just blankly staring at her looking terrified I was under the car safe between the wheels but nonetheless under the car thank god my mom drove a very large car and I was very small I was not hurt at all I actually do remember a little bit of it I was wearing white sandals and the wheel rolled over the top of my foot I remember being incredibly sad that my white shoes had black tire marks on them that is so bad that's so scary I actually have a fear of that with like CJ and Vivian I'm like gosh I need a padlock every door that goes up to the front oh yeah because you know you think you're you're older kid you know you're like oh the youngest can't unlock the door or whatever but then your older kid can what if the oldest kid leaves the door and lock or something we have like a magnet sensor and so it says front door or it'll be like back sliding door garage door so I know whenever a door is open yeah it talks to you yeah I should get the talking one my parents also had the latches over the tops of the door so we couldn't reach them so when we tried to open the door you can open it like two inches but oh smart yeah that's really spooky it makes me think of like he runs to the door they trying to like get not get himself in trouble from his mom but just makes you think of the time where your mom texts you and cake and you thought the chicken and then you're watching TV or something and then you hear the garage door open and you like immediately run to the freezer and fold the chicken out you're like everything's fine it's been doing it for a long time yeah I don't know why it's still hard I don't know why it's still frozen Carly said my mom told me not to date this guy and he cheated on me with his cousin Carly are you okay cousin well I guess I guess at that point you're like checking in well in the checker gonna make this yeah I believe this is for the best we dodged a boy here I figured there'd be a lot of boy-related ones yes Rebecca said when she told me I would get diarrhea if I expired chicken cry face oh oh that's fear they're they're always right about that one Charlotte says not to buy any newborn onesies my baby was born 99th percent time yeah zero to three immediately Katie said my mom told me to use the outhouse and I said no and didn't make it home it was the table for my driver's test and I was wearing shorts all over the seats and I had to borrow someone else's car to take the test she still took the test she's like I'm getting my life she's like sorry nothing can stop me the outhouse do you remember I remember taking my 16-year-old driver's test and I was so nervous I got out of the car and my shirt was fully soaked was wet from armpits I would be nervous if it was very too because you guys don't have any kind of drivers it was crazy yeah you guys took drivers training in school we took no we took two classes we took a behind the wheel class at school like with a teacher in a car and then we took a seated class about the rules of the road oh wow you just show up yeah so like I look at everybody let these kids out on the streets and it shows but I pass it honestly does show it honestly does Abby when did you not listen to your mom when you should have the first story that popped up my head when I was thinking about this I was in middle school and I my ethnicity is I'm mostly white but I'm a quarter Lebanese and a quarter Italian so I have dark features and I have a lot of hair and I just remember very young age getting a mustache and my mom being pretty forthcoming about helping me take care of that the one thing that I wasn't too care about that my mom was not as forthcoming with me about was my unibrow okay and I kept I remember asking and she was like you don't have a unibrow but to me it was one oh she wasn't she was thinking it wasn't a problem yeah she didn't think it was an issue I felt like I had a unibrow when I look back at pictures I did so she was I don't know why she's being honest at that point actually was lying to me at that point normally she's very honest about those things so I remember I I think I was in sixth or seventh grade and I felt like I was going behind my mom's back because I asked her if I could shave and wax my eyebrows and she said no and my neighbor's mom had one of those little electric facial hair razors okay and I had never I was like this is this is just such an incredible invention I've never heard of such an amazing product I must use this immediately I take it to my eyebrows immediately shave off way too much just I mean immediately my eyebrows went from really close together to pretty far apart and it was just on one side uneven so naturally my 11 year old brain I said I have to even this out so then I went to the other eyebrow shaving that went over too far so now I had two half of eyebrows and then what did I do to fix that because then I started panicking I said oh my gosh my mom's gonna kill me I shaved off my eyebrows so then I said I'm gonna cut my bangs she'll never notice I mean he's getting dick first and it wasn't just like a straight down bang it was a hard side bang so I cut a crazy side bang put a headband you know over it obviously of course and walk out the house I'm like my mom will never notice immediately walk out the house she goes what did you do I'm nearly freaks out like she says I start crying go I don't know mom I got it yeah I'm just gonna cry I'm just gonna cry just keep progressing just keep getting word uh there were a few times like that dang my mom did help me with the body hair now I think about it because I was actually super young and I I'm actually how good is my memory as a kid I don't really think it's that great but in my head I remember who this kid is and honestly it could go back to him but I bleep it out they were coming for you I like know him still it's totally fine he has no memory of this but into the kid my brain has told me this story that at story time in Mrs. Smith's class I'm sitting cross-legged and he's like your legs look like a bear I second grade oh wow this has been my mom and I told my mom I was like I said my leg is a bit of a bear and then her advice she's like well you can shave them wow yeah that's so young I did shave my legs in second grade I can great I don't think you were something I kept up with sure but they did get shaved I mean she's just giving you a solution to the problem I know maybe she was waiting for you to realize she's like her legs are here she was like need to happen which I was she got my she had me regularly get eyebrow wax appointments I think it's 7th or 8th grade yeah I think if you I will be forthcoming with Vivian about things that she needs to take care of because they don't know it and it's better to hear from your mom than your peers I guess that's true I remember the first time I shaved my leg my parents video tapes don't like the whole camera and I was like get out this is so embarrassing and they're like oh my gosh the home recorder life with girls I know so much work so funny um okay so I actually what does this say about me guys I really tried to think of a time that my mom here's the other thing I will say I was a very obedient kid like yeah I don't my mom also didn't have strict rules with me she didn't so it was easy to like abide by them when they're they weren't I was like Internally like very motivated to never break a rule like
ever as a kid. But I can't think of a lot of things as an adult. My mom advised me against that I did not follow. And we can just leave it up in the air if I regret it or not. I don't I don't regret these. I'm just going to actually say that. She was actually wrong. Sorry. Sorry. One of them being not to do social media. I remember they were like, remember for a long time she wouldn't watch anything. It was actually just brought to my attention that this is what she does watch. She watches this podcast. I love you. I know she's tuning in because we're talking about moms. I don't blame her because the first year of stuff was very coupling. Remember I was like, well, I don't hurt all. I feel like even as a parent now, I'm like, I would never want my kids to be vulnerable to the internet. Yeah. Yeah. That's so scary. And also, of course, the content we're making was very embarrassing. And that also is, we'll get to that later, but that's because of her I wasn't embarrassed by another thing that she advised me against was moving to Hawaii, moving to Hawaii, moving to Arizona. Sure. All those things, but she did admit upon later she's like, I advised you against that not because I didn't think you should do it because I didn't want you to do it because that's sweet. That's sweet. I just didn't want you to be away from me. Yeah, that's sweet. And I think I knew that when she was giving that advice, I was like, well, this is it. Sorry, mom. That's reasoning. Another one, getting veneers, getting veneers. She did not want that. Well, you're naturally so beautiful. She was like, I just don't see what's wrong with your teeth. I'm like, no, there's nothing wrong with my teeth. And I was like, but I just like the way that they look. Of course. And she, you know, in your mom's eyes, her child is perfect. Perfect. And so, she also never got me braces or anything. So I guess she really liked them. Yeah, totally. So, um, should I keep going on the list of things that didn't listen to my mom about? Yeah, do it. Getting married young. I did listen to my mom on that one. Didn't listen to my mom on that one. She now want me to get married young. Yeah. And we really had a lot of serious conversations about I'm glad we can talk about it now. Yeah. Um, but when it boiled down to it in her head, she like loved Matt. Like she actually, that was, I was very obedient. I listened to my mom. She literally in high school, she was like, you can only date Matt Howard. We lived in different towns. Look, I freaking made it happen. Yeah. Across state lines. And like I was very obedient. But then it was just in her head, it was the order of things. Like she's like, you graduate college, then you can get married. Right. And we're like, we just kind of messed up that order a little bit. I think it's good that our moms are a voice of reason. Like there's supposed to push back on our, especially our spontaneous whimsy decision. Especially if they're, if they're like kind of like not random, but like spontaneous or just like outside of the normal. Like it's like, okay, well, why do you want to do this? And so it was good that I had, like, I really had to think about like, what is the purpose of marriage? Like, why do I want to marry Matt specific? And like, are we, is this a good idea? Like I really had to think about that a long time. So it was good that she was against that. Of course, we need that. Um, another thing I didn't listen about getting a dog. That's the next one I was going to say for you. I was going to Vadeur Greta. I, it's up in the air. I love pretzel dearly. Um, she's a puppy. So she does puppy thing. She's just and in a hard state. My mom is very against it. And she doesn't hold back at all. I think she would say she was right on that one. Maybe wrong on the other side. She would say, oh yeah, you got very great. Like forming this, forming this list. She was like, the thing you did not listen to that you should have. Because she's like, I can see all those other things. Like, I can see how it worked out was the dog. She's going to train right now. I mean, she's, like, she's a puppy. She's going to do puppy thing. Yeah. Also admittedly, we don't train her. Like, she's getting trained. But like, I'm like, at this point, that's just not a priority. Yeah. You do a trainer. You have the little, the little beeper. We beeper. Yeah. We did lose that. Oh, hey, it was an attempt. Yeah, you tried really hard. So yeah, no, I will also just say my mom is very, like, now she approves of all of those things, but those were all things that she pushed against. Well, actually, no, not the dog. I have a very much still against the dog. I have a whole list of things. I think it's good when we become adults. I think naturally, there's going to be that time in our life. Once we go to college or turn 18 or do things where you have to make that switch of listening to everything your parents say, and it goes from an obedient relationship to a, hey, I'm actually going to make my own decisions now. Yeah. And then it then it switches to, there's a little bit of tension in there. Like, I had centred with my mom a few years in there too. And now it switched from, hey, we're no longer like, it's not a parent child. Now we're peers. And now it's more of a mentor relationship. Yeah. I think that, naturally, that switch has tension. And that's why I will say these weren't like disobedience. These were just like not falling her advice. Right. Yeah. Like, I feel like getting choosing to get married was my first like adult decision. Yeah. Because I was so young. Like, I was like, this was my first, then then at that point, man, I just had a hey, Dave, making my own decisions. Clearly. You really did. You put your parents, you were like, oh, yeah, I'm getting married. And then I move in. Why? Oh, yes. And we're doing social media. And then it's jumping out of college. They're like, wow. They didn't push back against that one that much. Yeah. I don't really know why. Maybe they did. And I just kind of forgot about it. I don't remember. It was just a lot of like big things at once. It was a lot at once. I put my parents through a lot. Sorry guys. Hey, it worked out. It worked out. I think now that we've shared things that we didn't listen, maybe showed up or it worked out, maybe we can share some of the things that our moms did. Great. And some great advice they poured into us. Yes. And I honestly had a little bit of a hard time. I had to really sit down and think through this and I talked to my sisters too. Because when your parents shape and inform your internal dialogue and your thoughts and your life for so long, it's kind of hard to pinpoint. These are the major things that my mom shared or taught me that have stuck with me. So I really wanted to think through some of that. And I got some good ones. Was it hard for you? Was it kind of like, now they're very obvious? Actually, quickly. I was also having this discussion with my mom. Yeah. Because I was also like, like you said, you're like, you didn't teach me this, right? I didn't come to this. I didn't arrive here on my own. I guess the first one that I thought of that, my mom is always in my ear because this is something that I still struggle with a lot. It's the primary focus of a lot of my therapy is that I feel guilty a lot. Like I just have like a guilty, like I feel like things are like, I should have done some, I don't know. I feel guilty all the time. My mom, ever since I was a kid, she was like, well, did you do something wrong? And I'm like, I guess it wasn't wrong. She's like, well, then don't feel guilty unless you did something wrong. This feels like such a basic thing that my mom had to like really hunt, like, hound and don't, like just don't feel guilty unless you did something wrong. Like if someone else is going through a hard time, I feel like in my brain, it's always trying to convince me that there was something that I didn't do to stop that from happening. And so like, if anything was happening or like, okay, say for instance, like I got a part and I'm thinking about this like a lot, like I did theater as a kid. If I got a part that I knew someone else really wanted, like instead of being happy that I got the part because I also wanted it. I also, this also prevented me from figuring out what I actually wanted because I like so badly like wanted to please others. To please others. Yeah. And so like if I got the part, I'd be like, I'm not even that happy because I just feel so bad because so and so I know they really wanted it and they tried really, really hard. She's like, Abby, did you do anything wrong? And I'm like, no, I tried my best. And she's like, that's not wrong. Like don't feel guilty. So yeah, I feel like I, that's one that I like currently even like now that I'm 27. I still hear my mom's voice like literally in her voice. Like don't feel guilty unless you did something wrong. Your mom is a really level headed and a great voice of reason. And so I can see her just and she's really good at just sharing truth in a way that's just like, hey, why is that even, you know, it's just it's so matter of fact in a gracious way. Yeah, like she, I feel like I could see your mom saying that in a way that doesn't make you feel dumb for feeling guilty, but also is like, Hey, that's just not true. Yeah. I think she balances the thing. Those things really well in her. I think that's very true. Yeah. So that's a really good one. My mom is extremely hardworking. If I think through the people in my life and the most hardworking people I know, it's both of my parents in Caleb. Like I'm like, these are three of the most hardworking people I know. She was one of 13. She's 13. Which is crazy. She's like, yeah, one of 13 and they just, they didn't, they didn't have any money growing up. And so all of her siblings really had to boot shop themselves to if they want to do something, they had to financially pay for it themselves, starting at a young age. And so just her whole life, she's really just grinded for the things that she's, she wanted. Anytime that I would say, I want to do blank or I wish I could do this. My mom would always just say, well, just do it. Why can't you do it? What's stopping you from doing it? Just go do it. Even the way you just said it, I could see Ruth saying that. We'll just do it. Just do it. Just like, why are you talking about it? Just go do it. And I was talking to her about this. And she actually was given that advice at her first job when she was 19 years old from a guy in the elevator at her office. And she's like, that always stuck with me. And I wanted to teach that to you girls. And that has always been just my attitude. Like, well, if I want to try something, I'm just going to try it. I'm just going to do it. Like there's not a question of if I can, it's not a question if I can do it. It's just will I or will I not? That's good. Yeah. And I think that just gave me a level of confidence to try new things and always enabled me to like take risks. And I feel like we take a lot of kill when I've taken a lot of risks together in our 20s. And I feel like my mom has really encouraged all those decisions. And yeah, from a young age, that was still with me. I can do anything. My parents did that too. I always think about all the time when I tell Matt this story might both
of my parents, but my dad, there's some specific memories. I think there's something to about a girl with their dad. You're like, my dad's not gonna lie to me. My mom will make me feel good, but my dad's not gonna lie to me. I remember one day I was like, "Dad, it's so crazy, but there has been a lot of presidents, and none of them have been a girl." And he was like, "Well, you could be the first." And I was like, "Okay, I could, I will be." But that sounds like a lot of work. - Oh, I won't be. - I fully believe that, to this day, I fully believe that my dad thought I could. I don't know if that is actually what he's thinking if he was trying to instill confidence in me. And then the same thing happened with baseball. I was like, "Dad, all of these major league baseball players, none of them are girls." He was like, "You could be the first." - Yes. - Me, so not athletic. And I'm like, "I could, but gosh, I think I want to do something else for my time." - Yeah, yeah. - And so I always think about that because I think humility is a really important characteristic to have, but I was thinking about this more and more. Like when it comes to kids, I'm like, that's not the role of the parent. Like I feel like the world does enough to knock you on your knees and humble you. That I'm like, I just want to speak like confidence into my children. Now I do think you can cross a line with that, but I think you can gauge that. And I don't know. My parents just really speak a lot of confidence in me. They're like, "Yes, you can." Or they're like, "Why are you not the best?" "You could be the best, just be the best." - Just do it. - Just work hard. - Yeah, work really hard and you can do whatever you want. - Yeah. - I feel like I've taken something with CJ recently. Like if he says, "I can't do it, Mom." Don't ever say, "You can't do it." You can ask for help. And that's what you should say. Don't ever say, "You can't do it." Because you can, buddy. And if you need help, just say, "I need help." 'Cause that's a good thing, yeah. But don't say, "You can't." Because you can do anything. And that's just, I got there for my mom. Yeah, and my dad. But my mom really spoke that a lot. - Okay, this next one is actually really good. And it's as it relates to boy advice. I think for a period of time, when my mom was probably like, what's going on with Abby? Because I was not like very boy crazy. Like I just, okay, I always say that. And you guys always think I wasn't. My mom was like, you were not boy crazy. Ask her. - No, I believe you were boy crazy, but the boys were crazy about you. Like you always had a guy like that was like, dying for your stories. - And Trace, I've heard. It's more than just mad. - If I have painted that picture, if I have painted that picture, then that is just my ego. - Like it is not the case. - Who else did it that was telling you guys in St. Louis? - Yeah, I'm like, you've never had, you've never said it in a prideful way. It's always so nonchalant that I'm like, what is she talking about? I don't know. - Do you want dates? - Okay, so this is where it comes to my mom's advice. Okay, she might have phrased it differently, but in my head, I internalized it as like, no boy can take a reservation on you. Meaning like, okay, so this came into play specifically. I can think of an example when it came to homecoming. I was like, mom, this guy is like literally actively driving to our house to ask me to homecoming. 'Cause his friend told me he's like, are you home? I know what's about to happen. But I was like, but I know so and so is planning and they're gonna ask me, they already told me they're gonna ask me to homecoming. And she's like, Abby, no boy can take a reservation on you. Like, and so she's like, if they're gonna ask you, it's like whoever is asked you and you want to go with them first, you take that, like no one gets to take a reservation. - Yeah, they don't get to claim steak on your land. - Yeah, and like, hold you, hold you. Literally, no one gets to take a claim steak on my land. - This land is your land, this land is my favorite flag song. - They're other flag songs. - Yeah, there's a lot of them. - Oh, sorry, great old flag is what they're flag song. - Okay, fun fact. - Sorry, derailed, go back. - Anyway, she's like, no boy gets to take a reservation and actually this did come into play. Now we're about to go back and get started. - This did come into play again. - They came into play a couple of their times where she was like, the boy's got a couple of their times. - She's like, no, they're cute, you're so cute. - She's like, no one gets to take a reservation here and I do think that that can extend beyond like boys asking you to homecoming. But like, basically meaning like you're free to make your own decisions for yourself and your best interest and like think this also once you hear more about the other advice I needed for my mom explains it. But they wanted to and I had to do this. - Yeah, that's really good advice, especially if you're a people pleaser. It's like, hey, you don't, they don't get, they don't have the right to just take your answer. - She's like, Abby actually think for a minute. Who do you want to go with? - Right. - I was like, well, I probably wanna go with who is like, gonna, she's like, this is like the fact that she needed to sort through all that to just figure out what I actually wanted. - Yeah. - So I would do that. And so, yeah, and then this advice also extended to like going on dates. Like if a guy would ask me on a date, but I'm like, mom, I just don't know if I could like see my whole life with him. She's like, Abby, whoa. She's like, it's not that serious. Like, it's not, it's fun. And if you, if you think you'd have a fun time with him, you don't have to think about, if you even want him to be your boyfriend, like just say yes, if you think it would be fun to go with him, give him a shot. And she's like, I think he's a really nice kind guy. And if he's like, if he's asking you on a date, like you can just say yes, and it can be that simple. So yeah, I was my mom's like, boy, advice. - That's a really good advice. - Really good advice. - No reservations on me. - Yeah, I love that. - We want reservations here. - That's good. I'm gonna use that someday. That's really good. My mom's was also similar and kind of playing off with the first. My mom was really big on fake-in till you make it. And she would always tell us, if you walk into a room and you feel insecure, put your shoulders back. Remember that you are a U-lit girl. Put your chin in the air and walk around like you're, don't stink, okay? And she meant it. And she's like, if you just have to go in there, walk into rooms where you feel scared and just pretend like you're not. Just like you don't have to be perfect at this or whatever, like you will figure it out along the way. And I just feel like that I've really, that has stuck with me a lot. And there are a lot of things that I'll do or start that I am nervous about or feel insecure about. But as you start doing them and the more time you're in those spaces, you get better and you learn more. And so it's like, if you never even took the step to enter whatever it is, like I'll just use the podcast for example, I was nervous to start the podcast. And it's like, if I never started it, I was too scared or wanted to be perfect off the jump. Like then you just don't even have the opportunity to grow and learn. And so you just kind of have to pretend like you're a professional until you become a professional. And I think sometimes people ask, like, how are you confident? Like, I'm not always confident. I just pretend like I'm confident. And I just gaslight myself. And it's a great way to live your life. Your mom was meant to raise girls, I feel like. Like strong women. Yes, and she did. She totally did. It's so interesting, my parents, the balance, because my mom is really, like, I would describe it as strong, loyal, really, like, stand up for yourself, vary that. And then my dad is more of the sensitive, like, talker. So they have a good balance there. But it's funny that my mom isn't like the sensitive one. Your mom's confidence is contagious. Like, I feel like when I'm around her, I feel like I'm like, there's no place for fear. Like, no. She's a very uplifting person to be around me. Yes, seriously. This one's kind of twofold, because we did-- I'm kind of combining two into one that I could easily separate and make them two separate things. But I think about my parents a lot when it comes to careers. So my parent-- this is one of those things my parents taught us to do kind of differently than, like, how they did. And I want to be careful, because I don't want to, like, speak on their life story. But they're always like, do what you love. Like, it does not matter if it is, like, not practical. Like, they weren't really like the practical-- actually, in the book, I'm reading the girl wants to be an actress. And her dad is like, it's not practical. And that was never-- my parents both had very practical jobs. But that they would never gave me that advice. They were like, I remember being like, put guys, like, this doesn't feel very realistic, because I wanted to do acting as well. And they were like, I'm like, it doesn't really feel that realistic. And they're like, someone has to have the part. Someone gets to do that. And whoever's going to work hard and try and actually take that risk. And so that should be you. And so they always pushed me to, like, follow my passions. And to, I guess, not be afraid of taking, like, a non-conventional route, which is honestly so ironic that this is, like, now where I'm at, because it's, like, even though my mom wasn't necessarily encouraging social media, she did always encourage me to follow, like, my passions, and to be, like, non-conventional, but ultimately, to not worry what other people think. And they, when I was talking to my mom about this episode, I was like, what were the things that you, like, really, really intentionally taught me? And I was like, because, like you said, it's hard to pick piece apart, like, what came from your mom, and you're like, I just have that. And it's like, actually, no, your parent was like, the voice speaking, this into you, your whole childhood. And she's like, I feel like the thing I focused on the most was not to worry what other people think. And it was really sweet, because she's like, I couldn't really figure it out myself, but that one certainly worked on me. - Oh, that's really sweet. - It was really sweet. But, yeah, so I guess, like, arriving at a career decision and, like, not worrying about if it's conventional, or if it's necessarily realistic, or what other people are gonna think, because I do think a lot of people that go into acting, modeling, any start of business, social media, like, there can be a lot of fears of, like, oh my gosh, like, what if someone sees this, and, like, it is super cringey, and they're, like, embarrassed by it. I guess in my head, I was just kind of like, whatever. Whatever, I don't know. Like, I don't know, it doesn't matter. I shouldn't say that I'd never, like, got embarrassed about it, but I just feel like my parents really just instilled this, like, I don't know, disregard for other people's opinions. Which was something that I think they had to do, because it was, like, I was not naturally that way. - Yeah. - I fully believe that. I did not just, like, come this way, like, they were,
I was like, like I said, especially from a young age, people pleasing, super concerned about everyone else and what they were thinking, or if they approved of what I was doing, and so they really worked against that, and especially my mom, so. And that's amazing. Yeah, I hope that for my kids. It's like you want, there's such a freedom in your life when you arrive to that point where it's like the opinions of others don't affect my life. Yeah, yeah. - I can tell that something your parents did because Blake's the same way, where he's like, I don't care about other people's opinions, he doesn't need them, or he doesn't need other people's validation on who he is. And so that definitely comes from your parents and stilling that in both of you. - Yeah, you were very safe in your identity with them, like you knew who you were based off what they said about you, and it's like, okay, then I know that's true. So I think that's amazing, amazing, amazing. - Yeah, I gotta give them that credit. - Yeah, that's awesome. The last one from my mom that I was thinking through, and this isn't necessarily something she told me, it's just what she showed me in her life. My mom is incredibly servant-hearted towards her family, like she sees a need and she fills it, and it's honestly insane to me, just like the way I watch her days, she just moves from thing to thing to thing to thing. She's not a little energizer bunny, like she has so much energy, she never complained, she never expects anything back in return, she just gives and gives and gives and gives to her daughters and her husband, and I'm like, dang, my mom is an incredible example of just like a really servant-hearted loving mom, who has just loved being a mom, loves being a wife, loves her family so well, and even just like the smallest things, I'll be out of paper towels, she'll come the next day and she'll bring me paper towels. You know, she's like really small thing, she sees a need and she fills it, and it's something I deeply admire in my mom, and I really want to, sorry, I didn't want to get emotional, I'm talking about it, but yeah. That's sweet. Hey, you can cry here. Oh, Abby! You have a good mom, a good best mom. - Yeah. - Yeah. I just think, too, like, when it comes to her being a grandma, it's so sweet. Yeah. And I remember right after I gave birth to CJ, Caleb, you know, we were in the hospital for quite a few days after he was born, and so Caleb didn't have any time off of work, and it was the day we got out of the hospital, and he had to go and work 40 hours. He worked 40 hours in three days, like right after she was born, and I remember sitting there like, oh my gosh, we have a baby, and I have no idea what I'm doing. And my mom came and she was just like, Abby, let him work. Just go let him catch up on that. I'm here. I'm here, I got you. And like, let him catch up so that when I'm gone, like he can help you. And it's just like the way that she always steps in. It's so amazing. And I know you're getting emotional at it, 'cause your mom is the same way. And it's just so, especially when these moments when you really need your mom, and they show up, you're just like, oh, so blessed, I love you. So it's just, yeah, I admire that in her, and I hope I can be like that towards CJ and Vivian and their family someday too. That's her legacy that I want to pass on to my kids. It's sweet just like seeing how much my mom is trying to figure out, and my parents are trying to figure out like, financially how she can quit her job so that she can just be here and like take care of real, which is like the most like selfless thing to want to do that for us. And she's been here for three days and she's just so sweet watching her just white up. - Yeah, it's the best. - Yeah. - Same. - And Laura's great too. - That's her best grandpa. - Her best, yeah. - Honey, sorry. - You're not crying. - Honey. - The best honey. - She's the best. - Seriously, yeah. - Was there anything Addie that you wanted to share or something that you went from your mom? - I was trying to think of things while you guys were talking. I was thinking like, my parents and my mom really set me up for success financially and teaching us how to use our money, save our money, give our money, and that set us up for success. - It's huge. - It really has just instilling that from us from a young age and unconditional love. I think that's like a normal thing, but I think she showed that very, very selflessly growing up and I knew that I could go to her about anything. I also think you were mentioning this too, not having that strict of rules. Yes, there were expectations and I think that was the thing is there were expectations of me, but there weren't necessarily strict rules around me. And I think that again, also set me up for success growing up. I know they expected me to be home by a certain time or they expected me to do be a good kid and to fall do things but they weren't like, you have to be at home by midnight or you're grounded and there's these consequences and these things that happen. It's like, we expect you to be at home 'cause that's what we tell you and I always knew, okay, cool, that's fine with me. And listening to them in those ways was really helpful. - I love how you bring that up because I think my parents also had that style of parenting and I kind of like was having thinking about obviously parenting all the time now with my kids. Coming from not super strict parents, it instilled confidence in me because in a way I felt like I was setting the expectation for myself even though underhandedly, they had laid this foundation of what was acceptable and what was not acceptable. But in my head, it wasn't as black and white so I felt like I had the confidence then to navigate things that weren't black and white and that relational aspect of parenting whereas if it's super strict and black and white, then you just don't want to approach your parents. - Oh yeah, I would text them all the time and be like, hey, I'm running a little late on curfew. Don't be home in 15 minutes or can I leave in 15 minutes instead of being home in 15 minutes and they'd be like, yeah, sure. Like it was just a communication and like a trust that I think my parents had to build in me and to have it home. - No, and they wouldn't want that either. They wouldn't need to be safe and get home quickly. I think the other thing is the confidence building and I don't know how they instilled that in me. I think that's something that I've realized is maybe different about me. This is so superficial but I'm like, I don't really wear makeup that often, like really only when I'm going out somewhere and I think, and I don't really get my hair done, I don't get dressed during the day. Like I'm really confident in my natural self and I think my mom just, she never expected anything different from me and I think she always told me how beautiful I was just the way I was and then not quitting. I would have quit dance that first time I was there. I wanted to quit at semester and she didn't let me and I dance the rest of my life and so. I think that's something too but those are my quick things. - Those are great. - Those are good. - Your mom was also like, when I think about your mom, she's very like good with verbal affirmation. I feel like. - She is and that is something we go back and forth with 'cause I don't necessarily want it. - You're really, so she's really sentimental. - You're very, like you're a very kind person but like it's like your mom is so verbally affirming and I was like, wow, that's. She is and I think that actually played a big role in who I am, even though I didn't necessarily need it but I did clearly but I'm not a verbal affirmation's person. I don't know what I am. I think I do like it but sometimes I'm like, it's cheesy. This morning, for Elle was crying and I picked her up. She loves her mommy. I'm like, of course she has mom. I'm like, duh, but she's like so sweet. I'm like, yeah, she does. - I have years of it. - I'm so straightforward. I'm a lot like my dad, which is funny. And so my mom is very good with verbal affirmations and making sure she loves all of her children no matter what and I think that has shown me a lot. We've been through a lot as a family and my mom has shown up for every single one of us kids in so many ways that I think is so admirable. Even though sometimes she's like, why did one of my kids want kids or only want two? She's more like, you guys only want two kids or no kids. And I'm like, she's like, what did I do wrong? I'm like, nothing, you did great. - Yes, so yeah, she is very good with the verbal. - Well, I'm glad we got to shout out our moms. - Yes, I also watched the podcast. - Yeah, so if you guys are all crying. - Yeah, we're all crying. - We made this because we found out that all of our moms listened to this at podcast. So they actually made us do it. No, it's not, she's really made us do it. - Ruth hopped on our call and I said, let's make it about the mom. And that's literally, that was great. We also want to shout out some of your moms because we pulled you guys and asked some of the good lessons you learned from your mom. And you came up with some really good ones to share. So we're gonna shout out a couple of them. Mara said, her mom said, always shower before getting in bed. - I second that, that's a great, that's a good one. I never understood morning showers. - I didn't either. - It's a little crazy. - I don't know how to say her name VV. We'll just say that. Her mom would say, you are who you hang around with and ain't that true. - That's a great one, it's so true. - My mom always said, this comes from a live. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. Now I always ask. - I love people that just ask out of pocket things. Not like, like, you just go to the store and it's like, hey, can I have a discount on that? I'm like, at least they asked. - Do you know what I mean? (laughing) I'm like, I'm just so-- - Oh, that makes me itchy. It makes me itchy too, but when people do, I'm like, that is so important as well. - Also, Lori will ask first. - She asked, my mom asked for things. And I'm like, oh my gosh, and then usually she gets it. Like, I should just start asking for things. I'm like, mom, no, no, no, please don't. Please, just keep it simple. It is how it is, keep it that warm. - Sammy said, juice oranges, oh, sorry. Juice oranges, carrots, and ginger together, and drink to help with acne and make your skin glow. That sounds so good. I love ginger, so oranges, carrots, and ginger.
Okay, I mean I'd sound delicious. If anything, it's healthy. Yeah, we love that. Grazy says always have a list and eat before you go grocery shopping, save so much money. Eat before you go grocery shopping, it's so real, that is a good advice. I love it. Ellie said that that nothing good happens past 11 p.m. My dad would always say that. He's like nothing good happens after midnight. I know. It is a little ominous and then anytime it's past midnight, I'm like I got to get home, only bad things are gonna happen. I got to get home. Yeah, like what did she do? It's like superstitious, so like, oh, things are gonna, I ruined it. I'm out past midnight. I feel like we ought to also shout out like I know that like we have really put a lot of praise on our moms, but not everyone gets to have like a good mom, you know, like there's that's unfortunate, but that's the case, but I just want to encourage those of you that if you're like and dang it, like what am I get to do? Like I'm just out in the world alone, I don't have, or maybe you've your mom is not around anymore, or there's particular life circumstances that just make your relationship with your mom a little bit more challenging or difficult or distant. And I just want to say that you have the power, I fully believe this, to change your family down the future. And like I just have seen that even in my own family, like if you look generations back, like the example wasn't always there, and this is something that like people had to intentionally do, like my mom and my grandma's had to intentionally do to change that for our family, so things could be different and for my relationship with my mom and my mom's relationship with her mom. So I just want to say that you have the power to change that. And to start a new trend. Yes, yes, literally that. So encouraging and hopeful. Well, we come to the part where we're talking about always eating. What are we making for dinner? I found a new recipe this week. Yeah, I'm linking it for you guys. It's a sheet pan meal because food doesn't love a good sheet pan meal. Just not more dishes. I'm sick of it. And this one is sheet pan yokey with brussel sprouts and sausage. I'm going to say a couple things. It feels like a pasta. You put pasta on top of it at the end. Yeah. This recipe is actually very big and I feel like you can swap a lot of things out. It feels kind of full like because I feel like I think about brussel sprouts and butter not squashes in it. It feels like kind of full like it's good anytime of year. It kind of has some interesting flavors. I swapped out the Italian sausage for chicken sausage. I love an apple chicken sausage. Yeah, you just chop it all up, throw it in the oven. And then you can top it with the recipe says barata. I just use those like fresh mozzarella pearls and a little pesto. Yum. And everyone ate it. Yeah. Which was a win. Okay, I shouldn't say I'm not sure how much my kids ate. Me and Matt loved it. And I made it for a friend too. Every adult ate it. Every adult ate it. I don't know if your kids are eating brussel sprouts. How are you doing that? Right. Right. Right. I mean, I could probably get them to eat one if I gave them candy afterwards. This was the first week ever that CJ didn't get separate dinners made. He ate all of our meals this week. Yeah. He ate broccoli. My kids ate broccoli. He said I like it. I know like we're turning a corner. I don't know what's the best. That was fun. It never reminds me of this weekend when your oldest didn't want to eat his breakfast casserole. And then he took a bite. I like it. I ate it all. I ate it all. It took a while to take that first bite. When I'm like, I know you like this food. I'm just gonna just gonna stick it out. Yes. So true. But my recipe is it from ambitious kitchen. It's the mom's slow cooker beef stew. Her recipes are so good. I have not made a bad ambitious kitchen recipe. All of our soups are amazing. And she I once made an entire ambitious kitchen Thanksgiving when we had COVID and Caleb and I didn't go home for Thanksgiving. I made all of her recipes. Wow. It was incredible. Everything was so good. So this is like you make it in the slow cooker, which is nice. You just see your beef throw it in there. And then it's just a flavor bomb of seasonings. It's red wine, balsamic vinegar, herbs. It is so good. And it kind of gets thick at the end. You put in a little flour and peas at the end and then let it kind of simmer. And it gets really thick and nice. And it's just, oh, it's a comfort meal. Y'all. And healthy and good and hearty. And it is everyone will love it. And slow cooker. Yeah. You can make it in the morning. Yeah, people I go to work. You can just throw it in the cooker. So it's it's it's every time. Ask, ask, ask, Abby. Do you have a couple of voicemails? Yeah. Let's kick it off with a food related one. Ooh. Hi, I just had to recall because my toddler hung up on you guys. I just wanted to call and say that I took your your advice on like keeping lunch time for toddlers and treating it more like just snacks and letting them just kind of snacks throughout the early afternoon. And I just want to say that has been a game changer. Like no more fighting with loving them eat or not eat or my one-year-old throwing food on the floor. None of that. And now they actually eat. So I just wanted to say that I appreciate that. And that has been like some of the best advice I've ever got. Thanks. Love you guys. That makes me feel so good because actually when she said she followed my advice, I was like oh no. Oh no, oh no, they listened. Oh no, they listened. I don't know what that's gonna go. Oh man. Yeah, don't pinch to hold those legs. That's that's that's so funny here. That's that's I'm glad it's working for you. Yeah. Because gosh, I can't go back anymore. Yeah, thanks for sharing to that. That was like you tried it and it was good. That's music to her ears. Seriously. Hi, Abby. This is Brooke and I was just wondering if you guys have any books that you've read that have really impacted the way that you parent. Thank you. The Bible. And I honestly read any books. I feel like we could also add in like or if there's like influences you follow or different online content people too. That would help. I honestly, when it comes to parenting stuff, I'm really careful about what I listen to online because there are so many opinions online and every kid is so different. So I feel like it's okay to take some little nuggets here and little nuggets there. But honestly, the same thing with me when I'm like it's just overwhelming sometimes to intake everything and parenting is just not one of those things that's proven like this works and this doesn't because again, every kid's so different. I've honestly like I talked to a lot of people in my life. I talked to my mom. I talked to you guys. I have my mentor Kim. She's older and she has three kids that she's I really respect the way that she's parent to your kids. And I just feel like I'm taking advice from the people in my life that I enjoy their children and like an adult children too. So that has almost been more beneficial to me than necessarily like books and stuff. There is one book. It's called Shepherding Your Child's Heart, which not everything in that book. I do or agree with, but there's one thing that really stuck out to me and I think about it a lot when it comes to discipline. It's that I don't always want to go for control. Like I don't want to go for control or just behavior control. I want to try to get to the heart problem. So like what is the root of this behavior not just trying to like snuff out the behavior. And so I try to think about that a lot like if you know my oldest isn't listening very well. I'm like why is he listening? Am I am I getting upset because he's not I'm not able to like control him right now. Or am I just upset because this is actually like a bad character trait that I want to talk to him about and like point him in a better direction. So I feel like those are the thing that has like stuck out to me when I think about parenting stuff, but I don't know navigating it day by day. I totally agree. Yeah. Like I think parenting advice is probably best done through relationship and possible. I know that in college Matt and I nanned for a family together that we like adored their children and still do. And I remember just like picking her brain all the time. Like why do you do this or how do they do this? Like they're so young yet they speak like adults. Like but they're so fun and bold and they take things on like I just remember just picking her brain shout out Sarah Downey. Obviously like she's amazing. And I still talk to her sometimes. And so yes obviously like looking for people that you're like okay their kids are pretty awesome kids. Like how did you do that? Like let's reverse engineer that. And then also if I did have to pick a book I can't claim that I've read the entire book. I have not finished it. But a really popular book was hunt gather parent and there's a line from it that like I think about a lot because it redirects me a lot in my day and its kids don't want to be distracted. They want to be included or kids don't need to be distracted. They need to be included. And so I think about that a lot especially like when I'm like okay I'm like cleaning something or cooking something. And it'd be really easy to try to set them up with something and get them out of my hair. But there's so much to be learned from them like going through those motions with me and like making a meal with me or you know like being a part of cleaning something up. And I see that teaches them a lot of independence too. So hunt gather parent I cannot have read that entire book nor did I probably recommend the entire thing. Yeah I didn't read all shopping your child's heart. I think I read like the first your chapter is like that stuff with me. I don't need anymore. Got it. Like get to the heart. Hi Abbey's I love listening to you guys when I'm doing my mom chores. So thank you for making those a lot more fun. I would love to know how you guys named your kids. And if there are any stories behind your kids names. Thank you. That's sweet. It's such an honor to be included in like your daily life like that. Like when I just hear about like your mom chores like that. So sweet. I know. Okay so CJ his name is Caleb John. Caleb is obviously my husband and then both grandpa's are John. So that was really fun. And we had a really hard time thinking of a boy named
And it just came to me at night. I said we just name him kill John and calm C.J. Because that's like the three most important men in his life. So if we have another son, I have no idea what direction we'll go. And then Vivian, I've loved that name since I was a little girl. Like I have a journal I used to want to be a fashion designer and I have a journal where my I was my design book and my designer name was Vivian Vincent Eure. I have a whole page of logos and yeah, just socially, but I just always love that name and it's always stuck with me. And yeah, I just always knew that was going to be my daughter's name. For my kids, Griffin, I just liked that name. That's about it. Good story. But his middle name is Douglas, which is a family name, which we had lost my grandpa the year before he was born. And so they share the same middle name. And then same with August, I actually, that was a name I loved since childhood. I read the book wonder when I was a kid. Is that he gets a deformity? Yeah. Is there a movie about it? Yeah, there's a movie now. Yeah, it's been a book. It was a book for a while, and his name was Oggy. And I was like, I love the name Oggy. And I was like, well, I guess I can only use it if I have a boy born in August. Which actually a lot of people were renamed August, August. They're like, I would only name my son August if he wasn't born in August. I was like, through and so different. Okay. And so I always said, I was like, if we ever have a boy born in August, then we got our name already. And then I was like, but what are the odds of that? And then his due date was the 15th. So I was like, it's probably going to be born in August. And so I was excited about that. And then he is named after Matt's grandpa for their middle name. They share a middle name. August Jacob. Yeah. And so both of our kids have like significant family middle names, but then just names that we like for the first time. That's how we are too. Brielle, we knew we wanted a B name. We liked the double Bs for Brielle as well. And we just liked the name Brielle. That's the only like B name we liked for a girl. So if we have another girl, we're going to have to find another B name we like. Yeah. But her middle name is Lee after Terry likes grandpa. And then my mom's middle name is also Lee, so it kind of worked for both. Oh, that's cool. I didn't know that. Yeah, hers is spelled L.E.A., but yeah, you don't usually ask how to spell it. Right. Right. Right. That's awesome. Thanks again to all of you that have called in and left voicemails. It's probably my favorite part of filming as honestly. It's like such a sweet way to end off the episodes and a way to connect with you guys. And we just appreciate your engagement. If you also want to call the phone number is 602-456-9690. And I think it's always fun reading your guys' reviews. So thank you guys so much for leaving those. If you guys want to leave a review on all your episodes or all your podcasts listening platforms. That would be so greatly appreciated. And this review is from Abby. Great name. She's the name from a fellow Abby. Hello. I could simply not continue running while listening to your latest episode. I was on my own nine of my run and the part about your little guy tumbling down the slide and shooting your son with the nerve gun came on. And when I say I was wheezing from laughter tears were in my eyes. I have a two and a half year old taller boy and just could it relate more. I love your show and the pure entertainment it brings a breath of fresh air from the gossip all over the internet today. Thank you for joining me on my runs and helping me feel strong as I trained for my half marathon next month. Six months postpartan on out of you. We should be friends. So we have so many things in comment. Seriously. Thank you so much for leaving that review and Cloudy. So nice. Thank you. Thank you guys so much. Wow, I think that wraps up today's episode. Yeah. Thank you guys for listening and remember we're always here. She's got a breakaway. She's all alone. She's going. She's going. Oh no. Wrong goal, kiddo. It's chaos out there. There's stomachs don't have to be. Introducing cultural kids probiotics plus electrolytes. Sugar-free, more hydrating than water alone from the number one pediatrician recommended brand. Youth soccer is never boring, but your kid's stomach should be. Cultural probiotics. This science of a boring gut. See website for details.
Podcast Summary
Key Points:
The host shares a personal story of cutting her eyebrows too much in middle school, leading to an embarrassing mess, and later cutting her bangs as a cheeky attempt to hide the mistake.
A recurring theme is the importance of listening to parents’ advice, especially when it comes to life decisions like dating, marriage, and major lifestyle choices.
The host reflects on how her mother instilled a sense of self-worth by teaching her not to feel guilty unless she did something wrong.
The mother’s strong work ethic and belief in taking action—“just do it”—shaped the host’s confidence to pursue her goals and take risks.
The podcast highlights how children’s emotional and practical needs evolve, with parents often serving as mentors rather than authority figures in adulthood.
Parents’ advice on co-sleeping, hygiene, and child development is shared, emphasizing that some traditions are based on practical experience and love.
A surprising fact discussed is that more U.S. citizens have left the country than entered in the past 90 years, driven by cost of living, remote work, and lifestyle preferences.
The episode concludes with a heartwarming message about gratitude for parents’ guidance, acknowledging both wisdom and the inevitable times when children must make their own choices.
Summary:
The podcast episode centers on the profound influence of maternal guidance, sharing personal stories of times the host and others should have listened to their mothers—such as avoiding excessive makeup, driving recklessly, or getting married young. One key lesson from the host’s mother is refusing to feel guilt unless wrongdoing occurred, which has deeply shaped her emotional well-being. The mother also instilled a powerful work ethic and mindset of action, encouraging the host to “just do it” and take risks, building confidence in her decisions.
The episode also explores parenting dynamics, like children’s attachment to stuffed animals and co-sleeping, showing how habits evolve with age. S. citizens have left the country than immigrated, driven by affordability and remote work.
Other topics include the dangers of not washing cherished toys, the absurdity of massive beds (like the Alaskan King Bed), and the emotional weight of co-sleeping. Ultimately, the episode celebrates the enduring role of parents as mentors, acknowledging that while children grow into independent decision-makers, their parents remain a vital source of wisdom, humor, and emotional grounding. It balances heartfelt reflection with lighthearted moments, emphasizing that parenting is not just about rules, but about shaping values and self-awareness.
FAQs
Many people keep stuffed animals unwashed because they love the smell, which is comforting and nostalgic. The scent reminds them of childhood and provides emotional security.
The cow became moldy after being washed, and later got soiled from a diaper accident. It is now considered 'on vacation' and is being replaced.
Parents are learning to wait for children to decide when they're ready to let go, rather than forcing changes. The child's emotional readiness is key to successful transitions.
Developmental psychologists suggest that children eventually want to sleep independently. Co-sleeping can provide security, but it's not necessary for all families or at all ages.
No, the host admits to not listening to their mom's advice on several matters, such as dating, social media use, and getting married, though they now appreciate the wisdom behind those warnings.
Their mom taught them not to feel guilty unless they did something wrong. This advice has stayed with them and is now a core part of their mindset and self-reflection.
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