Why My Mom Was Actually Right About Everything

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Yeah, I in my head I'm like, oh, I won't learn how to snowboard. Full, well-knowing, I would be not okay with that. I'm scared to skateboard. I don't like being-- Actually, I don't like being sideways like that. I like seeing straightforward room going. I also just have my two fears in life are speed in heights. So, you know, skiing is high up and fast. So I just, I'm like, but I want to get over that. I want to conquer those things. I went on the Ferret's wheel at Shields with CJ and I was like, every time he moved, I was like, hey, see you just sit down. It's the kids apartment store Ferret's wheel. That's true about you. I think we're all this way, but you are like really chill about most things, but then there's a few things that you're like really not chill about. I feel like that's everybody. Caleb is like, what's wrong with you? He's like, you kept squirming and looking all weird. I was a little nervous. He's like, that's ridiculous. I'm like, give me some grace, okay? I was scared. And, yeah, heights and speed. I just don't like feeling out of control of my body. Yeah, yeah. And that'll do it. But I will go. My confession is that when Matt taught me how to snowboard, I said a lot of bad words. After your friends. That was like, oh my god. And then I started crying because I was hurting so bad. And then my tears started to get frozen to my face because we did, I learned at night skiing, pitch blackout, really cold. Right. And my butt hurts so bad because I'm a weird tailbone. Yeah. And I thought I broke it. And so then Matt got me a middle school boys football girdle to wear. Did it help? Yeah. That's actually a great solution. I still have it. I still need to show where it is. Yeah. Well, I don't really fall anytime soon. I'm just right around the house. I actually, you wear it every time you walk down the steps. No, I should honestly, but no, I don't really wear it actually anymore when I snowboard. I haven't fallen that much recent attempts down the mountain. The last time I skied, it was in college, it was on my girlfriend. So I've never actually learned how to ski. It was just like, get on your skis and go. Oh, you didn't do it as a kid. I did, I did once, but it was so long ago that, you know, it doesn't, it doesn't really count. I feel like with skiing, you can just go. Yeah. Even if it's like pizza and learn how to cut and stuff. Okay. But I, they were like, at the end of the day, let's do a blue god up there. I was just, I had no skill. So I'd going down. It was freezing. It started snowing really hard and the snow turned to ice. And I remember I fell and I couldn't get back up. Every time I stood up, I kept falling. I finally got up. It was backwards. So I'd going on the mountain backwards. I was full on panic attack, crying to like the tears were frozen in my goggles. And that was the last time. Yeah. Last time. We got to go with the damn shin. I would like to go and redeem that. Matt took a griffin because he was like, if he's going to learn, he needs to learn when he's down. When he's close to the ground, has no fear. And it just becomes second nature. So I agree with that. Really cute. The videos were adorable. And the fact that my mom and my grandma, who was like almost 80, walked down that mountain just so they could watch him do two runs on the bunny hill. And my dad, they're like, yeah. So sweet. And Matt is literally just holding him down. So sweet. I was like, wow, the family support is strong. I feel like there's been a switch in my, maybe we just talked about this in the call, actually now I'm thinking about it. There has been a switch with me after pregnancy, where I'm like, I want to conquer my fears. I want to do hard things again. And like everything that I was scared of before, I feel like I have free will. I want to take skiing lessons. I want to take tennis lessons. I want to do all these things on bad at and get good at them. I just want to face them hold on. You know, let's do tennis lessons. I would love to do tennis lessons. I feel like I would be terrible. Wait, we should do a segment where we talk about how we want to use our free will and things that we want to do that just keep a little out of pocket. Yeah, I used my free will the other day and I went on a walk to get myself a little treat and then walked back and I was like, wow, that was amazing. That's always been an option. Never tried to make like that. Life is crazy nowadays. I was by myself for an hour and a half. It was crazy. It's crazy. That's great. That's great. Speaking of crazy, should we do, wow, that's crazy. Let's do it. Yes, I don't know what it is. It's not that crazy. I actually think this is more interesting and kind of a fun one. So for the first time in 90 years, it's a great depression. More US citizens have left America than come in. Wait, more citizens have left America than come in. Wow. Yes. And I actually, I was seeing without this because I know four girls that live abroad. Okay. Yeah, like they've met men, met, met significant others and live abroad. And so I was like, wait, I actually know a lot of people that don't live here anymore and I'm like, for gone, they're probably keep their citizenship. But I just thought that was really interesting and I don't think you can, can you lose your citizenship? No. Yeah, if you're born here, you're like, yeah, well, I don't know. We should fact check that. But isn't that interesting? That is interesting. 90 years because they hate the president. I don't know. I was kind of look up some of the reasons. I mean, I'm sure some people probably, but most of the reasons the listed were cost of living is really high in America. And it's like, okay, I looked up on just Italy, for example, Italy is 30 to 70% cheaper cost of living than America. So if you can live somewhere else cheaper, also a lot of people work remote and there's more hybrid work options. And also just opportunity, I feel like there's, it's just easier to go abroad in this day and age than it was. That feels overwhelming to me to go live abroad. Even the thought of buying property somewhere else, we have friends about property in Mexico and I'm like, that, how'd you even do that? How'd you even go about that? That's so true. So it says you don't lose your citizenship unless you voluntarily renounce it. So then you also don't have to pay taxes and stuff in two different countries. That's interesting. Did you know that if you work in a different country, you still have to pay American taxes if you're a citizen? Yeah. So even if you live in a different country and you have a job that you still have to pay income tax to America? I didn't know that. That's probably why people would renounce that they are their citizenship. Posit I guess. That's when Kielb told me that was like, wait, that's really interesting. You pause your subscription to America? Yeah, I pause your subscription. I was like, I don't know. It feels like it's just, they're like, are you sure you want to cancel? Go to your email to confer your kids later. You can also lose it if you commit an active treason against it. See that one makes probably a lot of sense. Yeah. So what counts as treason also? It sounds so. If you serve in the armed forces of a foreign state engaged in hostilities against the US. Oh, well yeah, that would be. I don't have a possibility of that. I'm not in the military. You also cannot renounce the citizenship of your child. That makes sense. Yeah, that shouldn't be it. I think that's appropriate. You make a lot of decisions for your children, but you shouldn't be able to probably make that one. Yeah. Yeah. So that's the, well that's crazy fact. That is a fun fact. Yeah. Would you live abroad ever? Would I live abroad? Yes. Would I move permanently? I don't think that would happen. Yeah. I don't even, I just, yeah, we're really close with our whole family. Like I just would, it would be really hard to leave. I feel like the people doing that probably, my guess is that they're not as close with their family. I don't know. The ones that I, the girls that I know from college in high school that I'll live abroad are close with their families. How could you be soup? Well, their significant others are from these other countries. They just call a lot. I don't know. Honestly, I feel like they travel a lot based off of social media and stuff, but yeah, I just, I would definitely would. I think it'd be really cool. I don't think I don't think I'd ever permanently move. Oh, yeah. Yeah, no. But I would love to go, I mean, when everyone has the dreams like living Italy for a couple months and yeah, a couple months or even a year. Like that would, I just don't see myself permanently. Uh-huh. I love America. Where are the places that you would move domestically or abroad? Like what? I would love to live in New York City for just one year. See, for me, I would like New York City for one summer. Oh, I don't know if I would. I don't think I could do it for super long. Gosh, I always say I like everyone loves Nashville. I feel like everyone's moving to Nashville. I could, when we've, we spent a month there and I was like, I could see myself like living here if one day like our whole family moved. Like I'd be like, oh, yeah, sick. I'm in. Yeah. Um, yeah, I could see myself living there. I had no desire to move. If I moved anywhere, go back home. No, honestly, I'm like not a travel person. I don't want to live abroad. I don't want to. I don't know. I'm just really stuck in my routine and my schedule and my home that I would, it would really throw me off to like go and be in a different place. I'm not super adoptable. I've realized. I feel like you are though. I feel like your move here. You've made friends, joined community. I feel like it's been, but I feel like that was very like a thought out decision of like, are we going to move here? Are we going to do that? Like knowing there's family and friends. Like you had to like be intentional. I had to be intentional about moving here. I would never move somewhere if there wasn't like family or a reason to be there. I don't think I would just do it for fun. I don't think that would be good. Well, I feel like that's for me. That's the purpose of travel. Like I'm like, I just, yeah, like that doesn't really count as moving if it's for like a temporary thing. Sure. You know, yeah. I couldn't think of any other city besides Phoenix. I would want to live indomestically. And then the other place I'd be just great for traveling or spending extended time in. So yeah, I don't only see us live there. Nashville feels like home in a way that's weird because I've never lived there. Like it is, I'm thinking of Franklin specifically. I feel like it, from what I'm sounds like it does not like a hybrid of the fast-paced kind of opportunity feel of the West with the cozy Midwest charm. It really feels Midwest. Yeah. It doesn't feel Southern in my opinion. Yeah, I would consider that Midwest to me. Well, if you go to Memphis, now that feels Southern. And they're like not that far. Well, I say if you go to Springfield, - It's Southern, but Missouri itself is not a fake Southern. - I think Missouri is the Midwest, but that is a hot debate on my Instagram. - You're kidding. - I think it's a South? - Yes. - What? - Yes, it's not interesting. - The South would be appalled by that. - I think so too. - I think we're the most Midwest that you could get. - Yeah, it's the middle of the country. - Yeah. - Besides Kansas, they only-- - We're just kind of middle. - I guess we're not really that far West. - We're kind of just Midwest. - Midwest is a weird name for it, but yeah. People really think Missouri is the South. - Wow, we all disagree, but that's not true. - Wow, that's crazy. - That is crazy. - Thank you to Cozier for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. - Did you know that sleeping in a cooler environment offers several scientifically supported benefits that enhance sleep quality and overall health? - I believe that, actually. - I do too. - When it's hot, I'm like-- - I ain't sleeping. - Not rested. - And that's what Cozier's whole design is based on because their bamboo sheets are temperature regulating. - Guaranteed to give you a comfortable night sleep every single night. - Cozier's sheets are made from visco's from bamboo. 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I recently gifted some to my sister-in-law, Addy. - Discover how care in every detail transform simple routines into moments of true comfort and ease. You can head to cozyearth.com and use our code ABBY for up to 20% off. That's code ABBY for up to 20% off. - And if you get a post-purchase survey, be sure to mention you heard about cozy earth right here. Experience the craft behind the comfort and make everyday feel intentional. - There is another one, Addy's going to leave this one off because I don't know anything about that. - Another crazy thing. - Another wildest crazy that we've actually talked about before, but you can never find exactly what you were trying to talk about. Hunter Primo, if that's how you say her last name. - No, she's from Nashville. - I've posted about her mega bed. - Oh yes, I've followed that. - And it just has 2.1 million views on TikTok. She posted a couple of days ago. So I put the TikTok in there and she talks all about it to explain to people about her mega bed and it is the Alaskan King Bed. - Yeah, it's called an Alaskan King Bed? - Yes. - I follow her and I saw this on Instagram. - Let me see it. (upbeat music) - So wait, what were the dimensions of the bed? She said it's 10 feet by 108 inches long or 180 inches long. - I don't know, I can't fathom that many inches. - I can't fathom that many inches, either by no. It's probably big. We have a King Bed in our room when I can't walk. So I'm just like, wow, that's impressive. - The original, did she say she has the biggie? - She has the biggie small. - She is the biggie, okay. The biggie, um. - How much is it? - Biggie Junior, that's what it is. - I bet it's very expensive. - I can tell you, but it's 120 inches by 108. - Okay, wow. - 10,000. - What are your guesses at how much that cost? - I'm gonna say three, what? - The bed. - The mattress. - For the mattress? - I'm gonna say 3,000. - 3,000? - Potentially more. - It was? - 3,700. - Yeah. - Well, that's $1,000 off. So it's the full price. - That's insane. - 4,700. - Wow, I mean. - But then you have the bedding and the sheets. - It's custom. - Well, the actual bed too. 'Cause what is the bed frame? - Do you want a polstered leather? - She had a polstered. - Okay, a polstered. - I think, yeah, I think so. It was beautiful. - Depends on what you want. The cheapest option is a platform and it's 1,900. - Wow. - An Alpine is 4800. - That's incredible. - There's a bunch of different designs, but they range up to 12,000 dollars. - Yeah. - Oh my gosh. - It feels like custom. - It's kind of custom. - I feel like I can see NBA players needing beds like this. You know, really massive football players. And then mothers that love to sleep with other children. - Yeah. - I get it. - Wait, why is this crazy? - I think it's just crazy because there's a lot of different opinions on having a sleeping bed. - Co-sleeping, like getting a big bed. The most like comment on this says, "Do you not like your husband?" - Even though the husband said he prefers it. - I honestly feel that. When killed by a switch from a queen to a king, I felt isolated on a little island in the king. - 'Cause you know when a queen, we were always armed to arm. - 'Cause they're both large people. Like I'm tall and he's a big dude. So we were, you know, neck and neck. And now when a king bed, I'm like, "Where'd he go?" Where's he at? You know? - This was my thing. I'm like, when you're asleep, how much quality time are you getting together? - I guess more than I assumed. - No, you're not really getting any quality. You're asleep. - Yeah, but I was getting a lot of physical touch. - Nonsensual physical touch. - Like when you're asleep. - When you're asleep. - You don't want physical touch while you're sleeping. - I sleep like that. - Like when I was on top of me the other night. Well, he was asleep. - Blake is a really weird super fan of mine. - I said, "That is really well." - He was like, "Blake, you look good." - I'm like, "You're on top of me." (laughing) - Oh, is it filling your cup? Because you're asleep. - Yeah, I think because he's gone all day. I love to touch him at night. - Okay. - I'm a clingy wife, but it's okay. - It's okay. - Where I insulated now. - No, like my thing is I'm like, if I feel like I used to think that, I'm like, but actually when you really think about it for me, I was like, I was unconscious. Like I'm, I'm done. I don't, I go to bed, I don't wake up. - Sure. - Like I'm like, so I wasn't like, "Oh, that was not really necessarily bonding us "just to sleep in the same bed, "which we do sleep in the same bed, "and our son does sleep with us, "but not in the bed with us." - I don't think it's co-sleeping if your bed's that big, to be honest. It's like, you have like a lot of space. You're not even near each other. You're on different planets and not that. - You're touching each other. - They have dogs on the bed too. - Yeah, I'm like, "I think they're fine." - It says a developmental psychologist here. Children will eventually want to sleep independently. - Yeah. - Co-sleeping with children if they need it, provide security. - Yeah, yeah. - I'm not doing it, but I don't have an opinion, really. - Well, I don't think anyone really should have an opinion. - Yeah, whatever works for you guys is great. Yeah, no, I would, actually at one point, man, I were like, we need to just get a bigger bed. But we also really like falling asleep together because of intimacy. - Right. - So then we let him come in once his little hatch light is a certain color. - We can have free access to our bedroom. - No, of course not. - That was a fun part about this weekend in Flagstaff is that you guys brought the hatch and so we're all there. We're staying up late, you know, things like that. And so Blake's downstairs and he's still awake. Matt and Abbie have already gone upstairs there in their room. And Blake looks over and sees Griffin's dead outside it, like just looking down from the stairs. And he's like, buddy, are you supposed to be awake? He goes, "Yeah, I can go in my parents' room." The lights, the lights blue. Blake doesn't know this. So he's like, "Are you sure? "Are you sure you're alive?" He goes, "Yeah, the lights, the lights blue." - Every night. - He starts to open the door and Blake's like, "I don't know." He goes, "Go downstairs, Coco." - Oh my gosh, he's like, "It's fine." - He's like, "His light turns blue at 11.30." - Oh, that's sweet. - Yeah, I totally see the appeal. Your kids, like everyone just, for some families, at least for us, like everyone just slept so much better. And I'm like, "You know what, at the end of the day, I just want to sleep." And so like that was like the way it was happening. And I can see, but I can see kids being very different. Like my second, there's just not a world where he would be able to sleep in the same bed as us. He doesn't even understand the concept of it. Like one time he woke up really early and we're like, "Just get in here." And he's like, "What do you mean?" - "What are we doing?" - "Yes, you guys can like that." - He needs a sleep deprivation tank. - Right, right. - So he's like, "What is that?" - He's like, "Where's your tent?" (laughing) "Where is your little tent?" - That's hilarious. - No, that's sweet. - I have a T.S. evolving into that at one point. We have this space in our room, I can see that happening. I feel like co-sleeping with an infant feels very different than a toddler. - I wouldn't want that. - I'd be really anxious about that. - Same. So that's why I'm like when people get upset about toddler's co-sleeping, I'm like, "Why?" - Well, she already mentioned that-- - She has a controversy also, and she said in that video, they don't sleep in the bed. She sleeps in her room. When she gets back and up, they'll come and sleep in the bed. - Yeah, I just, I don't really understand the controversy with that one. The kids get old enough to sleep in a bed. You know what I mean? - Yeah. - That happened. - It'll all happen. - It'll all happen. - Yeah. - It's okay if it's at different timings. - Totally. - It's okay if your kid has binkies forever. (laughing) - I mean, just say that for myself. - It'll be fine, I'll be doing great. - Hey, no, Abby, trust me. I laid down on that one. I was just like. - Yeah. - I feel bad. - I feel bad. I'm like, your mom always tells the boys, like, "Briel, doesn't need a binky." I'm like, "You don't have to tell the man." - That's for sure. - That's for sure. - She uses her thumb. She's still using something. - Yeah, I love it. - It's great. - Okay, cut that one off. - Well, speaking of moms. (laughing) Was that smooth enough? - I mean, I said it at the same time. - Speaking of moms, today's episode is really about things our moms taught us. - Yeah. - And, you know, I feel like we're all very grateful to have really involved moms that enjoy being moms and being involved in our lives, even as adults, which I seriously, I do not. take lightly at all. It's like such a blessing, it's, there's literally, there's nothing like it. So we're really grateful for that. But I think we can also, before we get into that, relate to times that we should have listened to our moms and we did not and we learned the hard way. - Yes, so we asked you guys some of your stories about times that you should have listened to your mom and you had to learn the hard way. When in middle school, she told me my excessive eyeliner did not look good and I should have listened. - I wore so much eyeliner in middle school. - That actually reminds me, you did? - Yeah, pencil eyeliner all the way around my eyes. - Wow. - Yeah, I just feel like that's what we thought to do. - No, I wore mascara one day to sixth grade and someone was like, do you have mascara on? And I was like, no. And then I never wore it again to sixth grade. I didn't wear makeup for, until maybe eighth grade. - And sixth grade was when I started wearing eyeliner and eighth grade I started wearing a lot of eyeshadow. And I used to wear purple eyeshadow 'cause I read in 17 magazine that it made a brown eyes pop, of course. And then I used to just like pile on my face and one time I had a volleyball coach asked me, why do you feel like you need to wear so much makeup? And I know she meant it in a nice way, but I was like, 'cause I feel pretty. I didn't think anything of it. Now looking back, I'm like, I think she was trying to lovingly tell me, I shouldn't be wearing that much makeup. - I mean, not her place though. - Probably not. - No, my mom always, this reminds me, my mom always told me she's like, do not put a point out at the base of your neck. - Really why? - I, she's like higher up. - Oh, because of the face lift. - Well, I don't even think it was that. She was just like, I would literally just like, look it and put it at the base of them. And now ironically enough, that's kind of a trend. - I did. - Maybe not like how I was wearing it. I was wearing it like super low. Like as low as I could possibly get it. And I remember her and my grandma would always be like, Abby, wear your hair down. Don't do that. - Oh, yeah. - It looks so pretty down. I was like, bothering me, whatever mom. - They wrote it and said wearing it, my retainers after braces, R-I-P. - Oh my gosh, it's so hard. - Yes. - Did that happen to you? Your teeth moved. - Yep. - Years and years for the metal mouth. - They have as they paint them out for the braces. - Yeah, it's a hard one. - No one wears their retainers. - I wear my retainer. - You do? - At night, I tried to wear it once a week. - Just to keep them to-- - At this point. - Yeah. - I'm like, they're there. - They're moving. - I never had braces. So, can't relate. Beautiful teeth, girl. Okay, Lily said, my mom told me to not drive on oxycodone. Everyone was fine, but never again. I like leaving some space for some thoughts there. - That's illegal. - That's not just your mom. That's the law. - That's actually everybody. - Lily. - You living a learn girl. - Not everyone was fine, my gosh. - Never again, that's the most important thing. - She figured it out. - Okay, the queen of the castle. - I love that username. Said when she said to drive safe and at 16 years old, I thought I was big and bad and ended up totaling a car. - Oh, I used to drive so reckless at 16. - Oh, I know, it's so scary. - Oh, man, my mom and dad are right. This person doesn't have a name, but this is a little bit of a longer story. Not me, but at time, my brother should have listened to my mom for me. I was probably two, and my brother was seven, and my mom asked him to take me inside because she was pulling the car around to wash it on the side of the house. I was sitting in the front yard playing in a bucket of water. My brother did not listen. My mom pulls the car around clearly thinking I'm inside with my brother and not in any danger, and I'm sitting in the yard. He runs the door after realizing my mom was driving through the yard where I was. She sees him standing in the door and asks where I am, and he is just blankly staring at her, looking terrified. I was under the car, safe between the wheels, but nonetheless, under the car. Thank God, my mom drove a very large car, and I was very small. I was not hurt at all. I actually do remember a little bit of it. I was wearing white sandals, and the wheel rolled over the top of my foot. I remember being incredibly sad that my white shoes had black tire marks on them. That is so bad. That's so scary. I actually have a fear of that with like CJ and Vivian. I'm like, gosh, I need to padlock every door that goes up to the front. Oh, yeah. Because you know, you think you're older kid, you know, you're like, oh, the youngest can't unlock the door or whatever, but then your older kid can. What if the oldest kid leaves the door and locks? Well, if you leave the, we have like a magnet sensor, and so it says front door, or it'll be like, back sliding door, garage door. So I know whenever a door is open, I talk to you. Yeah. I should get the talking one. My parents also had the latches over the tops of the door, so we couldn't reach them. So when we tried to open the door, you can open it like two inches, but. Smart. It's really spooky. That's really spooky. It makes me think of like, he runs to the door. They try to like get, not get himself in trouble from his mom, but it just makes me think of the time where your mom texts you and a cake, and you thought the chicken, and then you're watching TV or something, and then you hear the garage door open, and you like immediately run to the freezer and fold the chicken out. You're like, everything's fine. It's been doing it for a long time. I don't know why. It's still hard. I don't know why it's still frozen. Carly said, my mom told me not to date this guy, and he cheated on me with his cousin. Carly, are you okay with his cousin? Well, I guess at that point, you're like-- I'm going to check in, and we're never going to make this-- Yeah, I believe this is for the best. But this is really fun. We dodged a bully here. I figured there'd be a lot of boy-related ones. Yes. Rebecca said, when she told me I would get diarrhea if I expired chicken cry face. That's fear. They're always right about that one. Charlotte says, not to buy any newborn onesies. My baby was born 99th percent time. Yeah, 0 to 3 immediately. Oh, I dang it. Katie said, my mom told me to use the outhouse, and I said, no, and didn't make it home. It was the day before my driver's test, and I was wearing shorts all over the seats, and I had to borrow someone else's car to take the test. She still took the test. She's like, I'm getting my life. She's like, sorry, nothing can stop me. The outhouse? Do you remember-- I remember taking my 16-year-old driver's test, and I was so nervous. I got out of the car, and my shirt was fully soaked and I sweat from armpits to Travis and Larry too, because you guys don't have any kind of drivers. It was crazy to me that you guys took drivers training in school. No, we took two classes. We took a behind-the-wheel class at school, like with a teacher in a car. And then we took a seated class about the rules of the road. Oh, wow. You just show up. Yeah. So you take a look at everybody, let these kids out on the streets. And it shows. I'm sorry, I actually don't show up. But I passed. It honestly does show. It honestly does. Abby, when did you not listen to your mom when you should have? The first story that popped up in my head when I was thinking about this-- I was in middle school, and my ethnicity is mostly white. But I'm a quarter-loving, he's in a quarter-italian. So I have dark features, and I have a lot of hair. And I just remember very young age getting a mustache. And my mom being pretty forthcoming about helping me take care of that. The one thing that I was insecure about that my mom was not as forthcoming with me about was my unibrow. OK. And I remember asking, and she was like, you don't have a unibrow, but to me, it was one. Oh, she wasn't-- she was thinking it wasn't a problem. Yeah, she didn't think it was an issue. I felt like I had a unibrow. When I looked back at pictures, I did. So she was-- I don't know why she's being honest at that point. She was lying to me at that point. Normally, she's very honest about those things. So I remember, I think I was in sixth or seventh grade. And I felt like I was pointing behind my mom's back because I asked her if I could shave and wax my eyebrows. And she said no. And my neighbor's mom had one of those little electric facial hair razors. And I had never-- She was like, yeah, I was like, this is-- this is just such an incredible invention. I've never heard of such an amazing product. I must use this immediately. I take it to my eyebrows, immediately shave off way too much. I mean, immediately, my eyebrows went from really close together to pretty far apart. And it was just on one side uneven. So naturally, in my 11-year-old brain, I said, I have to even this out. So then I went to the other eyebrow-- shaved that one over too far. So now I had two half of eyebrows. And then what did I do to fix that? Then I started panicking. I said, oh my gosh, my mom's going to kill me. I shaved off my eyebrows. So then I said, I'm going to cut my bangs. She'll never notice. I mean, it keeps getting worse and worse. And it wasn't just like a straight-up bang. It was a hard side bang. So I cut a crazy side bang, put a headband over it, obviously, of course. And walk out the house. I'm like, my mom will never notice. Immediately walk out the house. She goes, what did you do? I'm nearly freaks out. Like she kills. I start crying, go, I don't know. Mom, I got a hand. I said, I should not have a hand. I cried. This keeps progressing. This keeps getting worse. There were a few times like that. Dang. My mom did help me with the body hair. No, I think about it, because I was actually super young. And I'm actually-- how good is my memory as a kid? I don't really think it's that great. But in my head, I remember who this kid is. And honestly, it could go back to him. But I-- Bleep it out. [BEEP] [BEEP] They were coming for you. I like, no, I'm still kind of-- It's totally fine. He has no memory of this. But into the kid. My brain has told me this story that, at story time, in Mrs. Smith's class, I'm sitting cross-legged. And he's like, your legs look like a bear. Wait, what age? I second grade. Oh, wow. This has been my mom. And I told my mom, I was like, my [BEEP] I said my leg is a bit of a bear. And then her advice, she's like, well, you can shave them. Wow, yeah. That's so young. I did shave my legs in second grade. Second grade. I don't think it was something I kept up with. But they did get shaved. I mean, she was just giving you a solution to the problem. I know. Maybe she was waiting for you to realize she's like her legs are hairy. I think she was-- I think she was like-- - We need to happen. - But I was. She got my, she had me regularly get eyebrow acts appointments starting in 7th or 8th grade. - Yeah, I think if you have, I will be forthcoming with Vivian about things that she needs to take care of. 'Cause they don't know it. And it's better to hear from your mom than your peers. - I guess that's true. - I remember the first time I shaved my legs, my parents video taped it on like the whole camera. And I was like, "Get out, this is so embarrassing." And they're like, "Vivian." - Oh my gosh. - I'm like the home recorder. - I'm with girls. - I know, so much work. - So funny. - Okay, so I actually, what does this say about me? Guys, I really tried to think of a time that my mom, here's the other thing I will say. I was a very obediate kid. Like I don't, my mom also didn't have strict rules with me, so it was easy to like abide by them when they weren't. I was like internally like very motivated to never break a rule, like ever as a kid. But I can think of a lot of things as an adult that my mom advised me against that. I did not follow and we can just leave it up in the air if I regret it or not. I don't regret these. I'm just gonna actually say that. - She was actually wrong, so one of them being not to do social media, I remember they were like, remember for a long time she wouldn't watch anything? - It was actually just brought to my attention that this is what she does watch. - She watches this podcast. - I love you. - I know she's tuning in because we're talking about moms. - I don't blame her. - 'Cause that first year stuff was very coupling. - Remember I was like, - Well I don't have heard all, I feel like even as a parent now I'm like, I would never want my kids to be vulnerable to the internet. - Yeah. - Like yeah, that's so scary. - And also of course the content we're making was very embarrassing. And that also will get to that later, but that's because of her I wasn't embarrassed by. Another thing that she advised me against was moving. - To Hawaii. - Moving to Hawaii, moving to Arizona. - Sure. - All those things, but she did admit upon later, she was like, I advised you against that, not because I didn't think you should do it 'cause I didn't want you to do it because I just didn't want you to be away from me. - Yeah, that's sweet. - And I think I knew that when she was giving that advice, I was like, well this is it. - Sorry mom. - That's reasoning. Another one getting veneers. Getting veneers. She did not want that. - Well you're naturally so beautiful. - She was like, I just don't see what's wrong with your teeth. I'm like, no, there's nothing wrong with my teeth. And I was like, but I just like the way that they look. - Of course. - And she, in your mom's eyes, her child is perfect. And so, she also never got me braces or anything. So I guess she really liked them. - Yeah, totally. - So, should I keep going on the list of things that didn't listen to my mom about? - Yeah, do it. I'm married young. - I did listen to my mom on that one. - Didn't listen to my mom on that one. She didn't know I'm gonna get married young. - Yeah. - And we really had a lot of serious conversations about I'm glad we can talk about it now. - Yeah. - But when it boiled down to it in her head, she loved Matt. Like she actually, that was, I was very obedient. I listened to my mom. She literally in high school, she was like, you can only date Matt Howard. We lived in different towns. Look, I freaking made it happen. - Yeah. - Across state lines. I was very obedient, but then it was just in her head. It was the order of things. Like she's like, you graduate college, then you can get married. - Right. - And we're like, we just kind of messed up that order a little bit. - I think it's good that our moms are a voice of reason. Like there's supposed to push back on our, especially our spontaneous whimsy decision. - Especially if they're like kind of, like not random, but like-- - Fontaneous. - Or just like outside of the normal. - Totally. - Like it's like, okay, well why do you want to do this? - For sure. - And so it was good that I had, like I really had to think about like, what is the purpose of marriage? Like why do I want to marry Matt specific? And like, is this a good idea? Like I really had to think about that a long time. So it was good that she was against that. - Of course, we need that. - Another thing, I didn't listen about getting a dog. - That's the next one I was gonna say for you. - I was gonna, Vadur Gretta. - I, it's up in the air. (laughing) I know, I love pretzel dearly. She's a puppy. So she does puppy things. - She just, in a hard state. - My mom is very against it. And she doesn't hold back at all. (laughing) I think she would say she was right on that one. Maybe wrong on the other side. She would say, oh yeah, you got very great. Like forming this, forming this list. She was like, the thing you did not listen to that you should have. 'Cause she's like, I can see all those other things. Like I can see how it worked out was the dog. (laughing) - She's getting trained right now. I mean, she's a puppy, she's gonna do puppy things. Also, admittedly, we don't train her. Like she's getting trained. But like I'm like at this point. And that's just not a priority. - Yeah. - You do a train her, you have the little beeper. - We beeper, but we did lose that. - Oh. (laughing) - Hey, it was an attempt. - We tried our feet. - Yeah, you tried really hard. (laughing) - So yeah, no, I will also just say my mom is very, like now she approves of all those things, but those were all things that she pushed against. - Well, actually, no, not the dog. She's very much still against the dog. - I have a whole list of things. I think it's good when we become adults. I think naturally there's gonna be that time in our life. Once we go to college or turn 18 or do things where you have to make that switch of listening to everything your parents say. And it goes from an obedient relationship to a, hey, I'm actually gonna make my own decisions now. - Yeah. - And then it switches to, there's a little bit of tension in there. Like I had since my mom a few years in there too. And now it's switched from, hey, we're no longer like, it's not a parent child, now we're peers. And now it's more of a mentor relationship. - Yeah, I think that naturally that switch has tension. - And that's why I will say these weren't like disobedience. These were just like not falling her advice. - Right, yeah. Like I feel like getting, choosing to get married was my first like adult decision. - Yeah, because I was so young. Like I was like, this was my first, then then at that point, man, I just had a heyday of making my own decisions. - Clearly. - You really did, you put your parents, you were like, oh yeah, I'm getting married. And then I move in, why? Oh yeah, and we're doing social media. - And then we're dropping out of college. - They're like, well, didn't push back against that one that much. - Yeah, I don't really know why. Maybe they did and I just kind of forgot about it. - I don't remember. It was just a lot of like big things at once. It was a lot at once. I put my parents through a lot. Sorry guys. - Hey, it worked out. It worked out. - I think now that we've shared things that we didn't listen, maybe showed up or it worked out, maybe we can share some of the things that our moms did great and some great advice they poured into us. - Yes. - And I honestly had a little bit of a hard time. I had to really sit down and think through this and I talked to my sisters too because when your parents shape and inform your internal dialogue and your thoughts and your life for so long, it's kind of hard to pinpoint, like, oh, these are the major things that my mom shared or taught me that of stuff with me. So I really wanted to think through some of that. I got some good ones. Was it hard for you or was it kind of like, now that you're very obvious? - I give people a lot, actually, quickly. I was also having this discussion with my mom. - Yeah. - Because it was also like, like you said, like, you're like, you didn't teach me this, right? Like, I didn't come to this. I didn't arrive here on my own. - Right. - I guess the first one that I thought of that, like, my mom is always in my ear because this is something that I still struggle with a lot. It's the primary focus of a lot of my therapy, is that I feel guilty a lot. Like, I just have like a guilty, like, I feel like things are like, like, I should have done some, I don't know, I feel guilty all the time. My mom, ever since I was a kid, she was like, well, did you do something wrong? I'm like, I guess, I guess it wasn't wrong. She's like, well, then don't feel guilty unless you did something wrong. This feels like such a basic thing that my mom had to like, really, like, how I didn't know me. Like, just don't feel guilty unless you did something wrong. Like, if someone else is going through a hard time, I feel like in my brain, it's always trying to convince me that there was something that I didn't do to stop that from happening. And so, like, if anything was happening, or like, okay, say for instance, like, I got a part, and I'm thinking about this a lot. Like, I did theater as a kid. If I got a part that I knew someone else really wanted, like, instead of being happy that I got the part, 'cause I also wanted it. I also, this also prevented me from figuring out what I actually wanted, because I like, so badly, like, wanted to please others. To please others. Yeah, and so, like, if I got the part, I'd be like, I'm not even like that happy, because I just feel so bad, because so and so, I know they really wanted it, and they tried really, really hard. And she's like, Abby, did you do anything wrong? And I'm like, no, I tried my best. And she's like, that's not wrong. Like, don't feel guilty. So, yeah, I feel like I, that's one that I, like, currently, even, like, now that I'm 27, I still hear my mom's voice, like, literally in her voice. Like, don't feel guilty unless you did something wrong. Your mom is a really level-headed and a great voice of reason. And so, I can see her just, and she's really good at just sharing truth in a way that's just like, why is that even, you know, it's just, it's so matter of fact in a gracious way. Like, she, I could see her mom saying that in a way that doesn't make you feel dumb for feeling guilty, but also is like, hey, that's just not true. Like, you don't need to see it. I think the point. I think it balances those things really well in her. I think that's very true. Yeah. So, that's a really good one. My mom is extremely hardworking. If I think through the people in my life, and the most hardworking people I know, it's both of my parents in Caleb. Like, I'm like, these are three of the most hardworking people I know. She was one of 13. She was 13. Crazy. I didn't know that. Yeah. One of 13. And they just, they didn't have any money growing up. And so, all of her siblings really had to boot shop themselves to, if they wanted to do something, they had to financially pay for it themselves, starting at a young age. And so, just her whole life, she's really just grinded for the things that she wanted. Any time that I would say, I want to do blink, or I wish I could do this. My mom would always just say, we'll just do it. Why can't you do it? What's stopping you from doing it? Just go do it. Even the way you just said it, I could see. Ruth saying that we'll just do it just do it just like why are you talking about just go do it and I was talking to her about this and she actually was given that advice at her first job when she was 19 years old from a guy in the elevator at her office and she's like that always stuck with me and I wanted to teach that to you girls and that has always been just my attitude like like if I want to try something I'm just gonna try it I'm just gonna do it like there's not a question of if I can it's not a question if if I can do it it's just will I or will I not that's good yeah and I think that just gave me a level of confidence to try new things and always enabled me to like take risks and I feel like we take a lot of kill when I've taken a lot of risks together in our 20s and I feel like my mom has really encouraged all those decisions and yeah from a young age that was instilled with me I can do anything my parents did that too I always think about all the time I tell Matt this story my both my parents but my dad like there's some specific memories I think there's something to about like a girl with their dad like you're like my dad's not gonna lie to me like my mom will make me feel good but my dad's not gonna lie to me yeah I remember one day I was like dad it's so crazy but there has been a lot of presidents and none of them have been a girl and he was like well you could be the first and I was really like okay I could I will be but that sounds like a lot of work oh I won't be like I fully believe that like and yeah I to this day I fully believe that my dad thought I could I don't know if that is actually what he's thinking here if he was like trying to instill confidence in me and then it's same thing happened the baseball is like dad all of these major league baseball players none of them are girls he's like you could be the first something yes me so not athletic and I'm like I could but gosh I think I want to do something else for my time yeah yeah and so I always think about that because I think humility is a really important characteristic to have of course but I was thinking about this more and more like when it comes to kids I'm like that's not the role of the parent like I feel like the world is does enough the knock you on your right and humble you right that I'm like I just want to speak like confidence yeah into my children yeah now I do think you can cross a line with that right um but I think you can gauge that and I don't know like my parents just really speak a lot of confidence in me they're like yes you can or like why are you not the best like you're you could be the best just be the best just do it like just work hard yeah work really hard and you can do whatever you want yeah yeah I feel like I've taken something with CJ recently like if he says I can't do it Mama I'm don't ever say you can't do it you can ask for help and that's what you should say do what don't ever say you can't do it because you can buddy and if you need help just say I need help because that's a good thing yeah but don't say you can't because you can do anything and that's just I get there for my mom yeah and my dad but my mom really spoke that a lot okay this next one is actually really good and it's as it relates to boy advice um I think for a period of time there my mom was probably like what's going on with Abby because I was not like very boy crazy like I just okay I always say that you guys always think I wasn't my mom was like you were not boy crazy ask her no I believe you were boy crazy but the boys were crazy about you like you always had a guy like that was like dying for your stories I've heard it's more than just mad if I have painted that picture if I have painted that picture then that is just my ego I think it is not the case you never tell what you guys and say Lewis yeah I'm like you've never had you never said it in a prideful way it's always so nonchalant then I'm like what is she talking about I don't know you're on dates I did go okay so this is where it comes my mom's first my mom's advice okay she might have phrased it differently but in my head I internalized it as like no boy can take a reservation on you meaning like okay so this came into play specifically I can think of an example when it came to homecoming I was like mom like this guy is like literally actively driving to our house to ask me to homecoming because his friend told me he's like are you home I know what's about to happen but I was like but I know so and so is planning and they're gonna ask me they already told me they're gonna ask me to homecoming and she's like Abby no no boy can take a reservation on you like and so she's like if you they're gonna ask you it's like whoever is asked you and you want to go with them first you you take that like no one gets to put take a reservation yeah they don't get to claim stake on your land yeah and like hold you hold you literally no one gets to take a stake on my land this land is your land that's my favorite flag song there are other flags oh yeah there's a lot of them oh sorry great old flag is what your flag fine do you railed go back anyway that's great about no boy gets to take a reservation and actually this did come into play now we got this one guess sorry this did come into play again to play a couple other times where she was like the boy's got a couple other times I know she's like no they're cute you're so cute oh it seems like no one gets to take a reservation on you and I do think that that can that can extend beyond like boys asking you to homecoming but like basically meaning like you you're free to make your own decisions for yourself and your best interest and like I think this also once you hear more about the other advice I needed for my partner explains it like but they wanted to and yeah I'd do this yeah what that's really good advice especially if you're a people pleaser it's like hey you don't they don't get they don't have the right to just take your answer she's like she's like Abby actually think for a minute who do you want to go with right probably want to go with who is like gonna she's like this like the fact that she needed to sort through all that to just figure out what I actually wanted so I would do that and so yeah and then this advice also extended to like going on dates like if a guy would ask me on a date and I'm like mom I just don't know if I could like see my whole life with him she's like Abby whoa she's like she's like it's not that serious like it's not it's fun and if you if you think you'd have a fun time with him you don't have to think about if you even want him to be your boyfriend like just say yes if you think it would be fun to go with him give him a shot yeah and she's like she's like I think that he's a really nice kind guy and if he's with like if he's asking you on a date like you can't just say yes and it can be that simple um so yeah I was my mom was like boy I said that's really good advice really good advice no reservations on me yeah I love that we don't take reservations here that's good I'm gonna use that someday it's really good my mom's was also similar kind of playing off with the first my mom was really big on fake intel you make it and she would always tell us if you walk into a room and you feel insecure put your shoulders back remember that you are a u-lit girl put your chin in the air and walk around like you don't stink okay and she meant it and she's like if you you just have to go in there walking the rooms where you feel scared and just pretend like you're not just like you don't have to be perfect at this or whatever like you will figure it out along the way and I just feel like that I've really that has stuck with me a lot and there are a lot of things that like I'll do or start that I am nervous about or feel insecure about but as you start doing them and the more time you're in those spaces you get better and you learn more and so it's like if you never even took the step to enter whatever it is like I'll just use the podcast for example I was nervous about the podcast and it's like if I never started it I was too scared or wanted to be perfect off the jump like then you just don't even have the opportunity to grow and learn and so you just kind of have to pretend like you're a professional until you become a professional and I think sometimes people ask like how are you confident like I'm not always confident I just pretend like I'm confident and I just gaslight myself and it's a great way to live your life your mom was meant to raise girls I feel like yeah like strong women yes and she did she totally did it's so interesting my parents the balance because my mom is really like I would describe her as strong loyal really like stand up for yourself vary that and then my dad is more of the sensitive like talker so they have a good balance there but it's funny that my mom isn't like the sensitive one your mom's confidence is contagious like I feel like when I'm around her I feel like I'm like there's no place for fear like no she has a very uplifting person to be around yes yes seriously this one's kind of twofold because we did I'm kind of combining two into one that I could easily separate and make them two separate things but I think about my parents a lot when it comes to careers so my parent this is one of those things my parents taught us to do kind of differently than like how they did and I want to be careful because I don't want to like speak on their life story but they're always like do what you love like it does not matter if it is like not practical like they weren't really like the practical actually in the book I'm reading the girl wants to be an actress and her dad is like it's not practical and that was never my parents both had very practical jobs and but that they would never gave me that advice yeah they were like I remember being like put guys like this doesn't feel very realistic because I wanted to do acting as well and they're like I'm like it doesn't really feel that realistic and they're like who someone has to have the part someone has to someone gets to do that right to ever is going to work hard and try and actually take that risk and so like that should be you and so they always pushed me to like follow my passions and to I guess not be afraid of taking like a non-conventional route which is honestly so ironic that this is like now where I'm at because it's like even though my mom wasn't necessarily encouraging social media she did always encourage me to follow like my passions and like to be like not unconventional but ultimately to not worry what other people think yeah and they when I was talking to my mom about this episode I was like what were the things that you like really really intentionally taught me and I was like because like you said it's hard to pick piece apart like what came from your mom and you're like I just have that and like actually know your parent was like the voice speaking that this into you this whole your whole childhood and she's like I feel like the thing I focused on the most was not to worry what other people think And it was really sweet because she's like, I couldn't really figure it out myself, but that one certainly worked on me. - Aw, it was really sweet. - But yeah, so I guess like arriving at a career decision and like not worrying about if it's conventional or if it's necessarily realistic or what other people are gonna think, 'cause I do think a lot of people let go into acting, modeling, any start of business, social media, like there can be a lot of fears of like, oh my gosh, like what if someone sees this and like it is super cringey and they're like embarrassed by it. I guess in my head I kind of was just kind of like, whatever, whatever, I don't know. Like I don't know, it doesn't matter. I shouldn't say that I'd never like got embarrassed about it, but I just feel like my parents really just instilled this like, I don't know, disregard for other people's opinions. Which was something that I think they had to do because it was like, I was not naturally that way. I fully believe that, I did not just like come this way. Like they were, I was like, like I said, especially like from a young age, people pleasing like super concerned about like everyone else. And like what they were thinking or if they approved of what I was doing and so they really worked against that and especially my mom. Yeah, and that's amazing. Yeah, I hope that for my kids. It's like you want, there's such a freedom in your life when you arrive to that point where it's like, the opinions of others don't affect my life. Yeah, yeah, like. I can tell that something your parents did because like, it's the same way where he's like, I don't care about other people's opinions, he doesn't need them or he doesn't need other people's validation on who he is. And so that definitely comes from your parents and selling that in both of you. Yeah, you were very safe in your identity with them. Like you knew who you were based off what they said about you. And it's like, okay, then I know that's true. So I think that's amazing, amazing, amazing. Yeah, I gotta give them that credit. Yeah, that's awesome. The last one for my mom that I was thinking through and this isn't necessarily something she told me, it's just what she showed me in her life. My mom is incredibly servant-hearted towards her family. Like, she sees a need and she fills it. And it's honestly insane to me, just like the way I watch her days. She just moves from thing to thing to thing to thing. She's not like a little energizer bunny. Like she has so much energy. She never complains, she never expects anything back in return. She just gives and gives and gives and gives to her daughters and her husband. And I'm like, dang, my mom is an incredible example of just like a really servant-hearted loving mom. Who has just loved being a mom, loves being a wife, loves her family so well. And even just like the smallest things, I'll be out of paper towels. She'll come the next day and she'll bring me paper towels. You know, she's like really small thing. She sees a need and she fills it. And it's something I deeply, deeply admire in my mom. And like, I really want to, sorry, I don't want to get emotional. I'll talk about it, but, yeah. That's sweet. Hey, you can cry here. Oh, Abby, you have a good mom. I have a good best mom. Yeah. I just think too, like, when it comes to her being a grandma. It's so sweet. Yeah. And I remember right after I gave birth to CJ, Caleb, you know, we were in the hospital for quite a few days after he was born. And so Caleb didn't have any time off of work. And it was the day we got out of the hospital. And he had to go and work 40 hours. He worked 40 hours in three days. Like right after she was born, and I'd never say it. And they're like, oh my gosh, we have a baby. I have no idea what I'm doing. And my mom came and she was just like, Abby, let him work. Just go let him catch up on that. I'm here. I'm here. I've got you. And like, let him catch up so that when I'm gone, like he can help you. And it's just like the way that she always steps in. It's so amazing. And I know you're getting emotional at it because your mom is the same way. And it's just so, especially when these moments, when you really need your mom. And they show up. You're just like, oh, so blessed. I love you. So it's just, yeah, I admire that in her. And I hope I can be like that towards CJ and Vivian and their family someday too. That's her legacy that I want to pass on to my kids. It's sweet just like seeing how much my mom is trying to figure out. And my parents are trying to figure out like financially how she can quit her job so that she can just be here and take care of real. Which is like the most like selfless thing to want to do that for us. And she's been here for three days. And she's just so sweet watching her just white up. Yeah. It's the best. Yeah. And Lori's great too. She's the best. She's the best. Yeah. Honey, sorry. I'm gonna cry. Honey, she's the best honey. She's the best. Seriously, yeah. Was there anything Addy that you wanted to share or something that you learned from your mom? I was trying to think of things. While you guys were talking, I was thinking like my parents and my mom really set me up for success financially and teaching us how to use our money, save our money, give our money. And that set us up for success. It's huge. It really has just instilling that from us from a young age and unconditional love. I think that's like a normal thing. But I think she showed that very selflessly growing up. And I knew that I could go to her about anything. I also think, you were mentioning this too, not having that strict of rules. Yes, there were expectations. And I think that was the thing. Is there were expectations of me? But there weren't necessarily strict rules around me. And I think that, again, also set me up for success. Growing up, I know they expected me to be home by a certain time, or they expected me to do, be a good kid and to fall, do things. But they weren't like, you have to be at home by midnight or you're grounded. And there's these consequences and these things that happen, it's like, we expect you to be at home, because that's what we tell you. And I always knew, OK, cool, that's fine with me. And listening to them in those ways was really helpful. I love how you bring that up, because I think my parents also had that style of parenting. And I kind of was, have been thinking about obviously parenting all the time now with my kids. Coming from not super strict parents, it instilled confidence in me, because in a way I felt like I was kind of setting the expectation for myself, even though underhandedly, they had laid this foundation of what was acceptable and what was not acceptable. But in my head, it wasn't as black and white. So I felt like I had the confidence then to navigate things that weren't black and white. And that relational aspect of parenting, whereas if it's super strict and black and white, then you just don't want to approach your parents. Oh yeah, I would text them all the time and be like, hey, I'm running a little late on curfew. I'll be home in 15 minutes, or can I leave in 15 minutes instead of being home in 15 minutes? And they'd be like, yeah, sure. It was just a communication and a trust that I think my parents had to build in me-- Like I didn't need to speed home. No, and they wouldn't want that either. They wouldn't need me to be safe and get home quickly. I think the other thing is the confidence building. And I don't know how they instilled that in me. I think that's something that I've realized is maybe different about me. This is so superficial. But I'm like, I don't really wear makeup that often. Really only when I'm going out somewhere. And I think-- and I don't really get my hair done. I don't get dressed during the day. I'm really confident in my natural self. And I think my mom just-- she never expected anything different from me. And I think she always told me how beautiful I was just the way I was. And then not quitting. I would have quit dance that first time I was there. I wanted to quit at semester, and she didn't let me and I dance the rest of my life. And so I think that's something, too. But those are my quick things. Those are great. Those are good. Your mom was also-- when I think about your mom, she's very good with verbal affirmation. I feel like-- She is. And that is something we go back and forth with, because I don't necessarily want it. [LAUGHTER] So she's really sentimental. You're a very kind person. But it's like, your mom is so verbally affirming. And I was like, wow, that's-- she is. And I think that actually played a big role in who I am. Even though I didn't necessarily need it, but I did clearly. But I'm not a verbal affirmation's person. I don't know what I am. I think I do like it, but sometimes I'm like, it's cheesy. But it's like this morning, for Elle was crying. And I picked her up. She loves her mommy. I'm like, of course she has mom. Like, duh. [LAUGHTER] But she's like so sweet. Oh, that's so sweet. I'm like, yeah, she does. How do you feel about it? I'm so straightforward. I'm a lot like my dad, which is funny. And so my mom is very good with verbal affirmations and making sure she loves all of her children no matter what. And I think that has shown me a lot. We've been through a lot as a family. And my mom has shown up for every single one of us kids in so many ways that I think is so admirable. Even though sometimes she's like, why did one of my kids want kids or only want two? She is gorgeous. You guys only want two kids or no kids? And I'm like, she's like, what did I do wrong? I'm like, nothing. You did great. Yes. So yeah, she is very good with the verbal. Well, I'm glad we got to shout out our mom. Yes. I also watched the podcast. So there we are. Hope you guys are all crying. Yeah, we're all crying. We made this because we found out that all of our moms listened to this podcast. So they actually made us do it. No, it's not. She's really made us do it. Ruth hopped on our call and I said, let's make it about the mom. No, literally, that was great. We also want to shout out some of your moms because we pulled you guys and asked some of the good lessons you learned from your mom. And you came up with some really good ones to share. So we're going to shout out a couple of them. Mara said, her mom said, always shower before getting in bed. I second that. That's a great. That's a good one. I never understood morning showers. I didn't either. Got to get a little crazy. I don't know how to say her name. We'll just say that her mom would say you are who you hang around with and Ain't that true. That is that's a great one. It's so true My mom always said this comes from a live if you don't ask the answer is always no now I always ask I love people that just ask out of pocket things not like like you just go to the store And it's like hey, can I have a discount on that? I'm like at least they asked I'm like I'm just so oh that makes me and she makes me do people do it I'm like that as well Also, Lori will ask for she asked my mom asked for things and I'm like oh my gosh, and then usually she gets it I should just are asking for things. I'm like mom. No, no, no please. Please just keep it simple. Is that what it is? Sammy said juice oranges. Oh, sorry juice oranges carrots and ginger together and drink to help with acne and make your skin glow That sounds so good. I love ginger oranges carrots and ginger. Okay. I mean, I'd sound delicious If anything, it's healthy. Yeah, and we love that Crazy says always have a list and eat before you go grocery shopping save so much money eat before you go grocery Don't make it so real. That is a good advice Ellie said that that nothing good happens past 11 p.m. My dad would always say that He's like nothing good happens after midnight I know it is a little ominous and then anytime it's past midnight, I'm like I gotta get home When bad things are gonna happen I gotta get home. Yeah, like what did she do? It's like superstitious though like oh things are gonna I ruined it I'm out past midnight. I feel like we ought to also shout out like I know that like we have really Put a lot of praise on our moms, but not everyone gets to have like a good mom, you know, like there's That's unfortunate, but that's the case But I just want to encourage those of you that if you're like and dang it like what am I to do? Like I'm just out in the world alone. I don't have or maybe you've your mom is Not around anymore or there's this particular life circumstances that just make Your relationship with your mom a little bit more challenging or difficult or distant and I just want to say that you Have the power. I fully believe this to change your family. Mm-hmm down the future and Like I just have seen that even in my own family like if you look generations back like The example wasn't always there and this is something that like people had to intentionally do like my mom and my grandma's had to Intentionally do to change that for our family. So Things could be different and for my relationship with my mom and my mom's relationship with her mom So I'm gonna say that you have the power to to change that yes and to start a new trend. Yes. Yes Yes, so I believe that so encouraging and hopeful well, we come to the part where we're talking about always eating What do we make what are we making for dinner? I found a new recipe this week. Actually. Yeah, I'm linking it for you guys It's a sheet pan meal because food doesn't love a good sheet pan meal Yeah, no more dishes. I'm sick of it. Yeah, and this one is sheet pan yokey with brussel sprouts and sausage Oh, I'm gonna say a couple things. It feels like a pasta. You put pesto on top of it at the end. Yeah It cut this recipe is actually very big and I feel like you could swap a lot of things out It feels kind of full like because I feel like I think about brussel sprouts and Butternut squash is in it. It feels like kind of fall like it's good anytime a year It's kind of has some interesting flavors. I swapped out the Italian sausage for chicken sausage 11 apple chicken sausage. Yeah, you just chop it all up throw it in the oven and then you can top it with the recipe says Barata. I just use those like fresh mozzarella pearls and a little pesto Yum and everyone ate it. Yeah, which was a win. Okay. I shouldn't say I'm not sure how much my kids ate Me and Matt loved it and I made it for a friend to every adult like it every adult ate it I don't know if your kids are eating brussel sprouts. How are you doing that right right? I mean, I could probably get them to eat one I gave him candy afterwards This was the first week ever that CJ didn't get separate dinners made he all of our meals this week Yeah, he ate broccoli. I have my kids ate broccoli. He said I like it. I know like we're turning a corner No, it's the best. That was fun. It never reminds me of this weekend when your oldest didn't want to eat his breakfast casserole and then he took a bite. I like it I know you like this food I'm just gonna just gonna stick it out. Yes, so true, but my recipe is from ambitious kitchen It's the mom's slow cooker beef stew. Her recipes are so good I have not made a bad ambitious kitchen recipe all of our soups are amazing And she I once made an entire ambitious kitchen Thanksgiving when we had COVID and Caleb and I didn't go home for Thanksgiving I made all of her recipes. Wow. It was incredible everything was so good So this is like you make it in the slow cooker, which is nice You just see your beef throw it in there and then it's just a flavor bomb of seasonings It's red wine balsamic vinegar herbs. It's it is so good, and it kind of gets thick at the end You put in a little flour and peas at the end and then let it kind of simmer and it gets really thick and nice and it's just It's a comfort meal Y'all healthy and good and hearty and it is everyone will love it and slow cooker Bone is hot because they get in the morning. Yeah, people I go to work. You can just start in the kitchen So it's it's every time Ask ask ask Abby you have a couple of voicemails. Yeah, let's kick it off with a food related one Ooh, hi, I just had to recall because my toddler hung up on you guys I just wanted to call and say that I took you your advice on Like keeping lunchtime for toddlers and treating it more like Just snacks and letting them just kind of snacks throughout the third early afternoon, and I just want to say that has been a game changer like no more Fighting with loving some eat or not eat or my one-year-old throwing food on the floor None of that and now they actually eat so I just wanted to say that I appreciate that and that has been like Some of the best advice I've ever got Thanks love you guys Feel so good because actually when she said she followed my advice, I was like, Oh, no, oh, no, they listen Oh, man, yeah, don't be told there's that's that's that's so funny. You're nice. That's I'm glad it's working for you Yeah, I can't go back anymore. Yeah, thanks for sharing to that I was like you tried it and it was good. That's music to her ears seriously. Hi, Abby's this is Brooke And I was just wondering if you guys have any books that you've read that have really impacted The way that you parent. Thank you the Babel Honestly, I've read any books I feel like we could also add in like or if there's like influences you follow or different Online content people too that would help I honestly when it comes to parenting stuff I'm really careful about what I Listen to online because there's so many opinions online and every kid is so different So I feel like it's okay to take some little nuggets here and little nuggets there But honestly it's the same thing with me. I'm like it's just overwhelming Sometimes to intake everything and parenting is just not one of those things that's proven like this works And this doesn't because again every kid's so different. I'm honestly like I talked to a lot of people in my life I talked to my mom. I talked to you guys. I have my mentor Kim. She's older and she has three kids that she's I really Respect the way that she's parent to your kids and I just feel like I'm taking Advice in the people in my life. I enjoy their children and like adult children too So that has almost been more beneficial to me than Necessarily like books and stuff. There is one book. It's called Sheparding Your Child's Heart Which not everything in that book I Do or agree with but there's one thing that really stuck out to me and I think about it a lot when it comes to discipline It's that I don't always want to go for control like I don't want to go for control or just behavior control I want to try to get to the heart problem so like What is the root of this behavior not just trying to like snuff out the behavior? And so I try to think about that a lot like if you know my oldest isn't listening very well I'm like, well, why isn't he listening do I am I am I getting upset because he's not I'm not able to like control him Right now or am I just upset because this is actually like a bad Character trait that I want to talk to him about and like point him in a better direction direction So I feel like those are the thing that has like stuck out to me When I think about parenting stuff, but I don't know navigating it day by day. I totally agree. Yeah, like I Think parenting advice is probably best done through relationship and possible I know that in college Matt and I nannyed for a family together that we like Adored their children and still do and I remember just like picking her brain all the time like why do you do this or how do they do this Like they're so young yet they speak like adults like but they're so fun and bold and they take Things on like I just remember just picking her brain shout out Sarah down. It's obviously like she's amazing and I still talk to her sometimes and so Yes, obviously like looking for people that you're like okay, their kids are pretty awesome kids Like how did you do that like let's reverse engineer that and then also If I did have to pick a book I can't claim that I've read the entire book I have not finished it, but a really popular book was hunt gather parent and there's a line from it that like I think about a lot Because it redirects me a lot in my day and it's kids don't want to be distracted They want to be included or kids don't need to be distracted. They need to be included and so I think about that a lot Especially like when I'm like okay, I'm like cleaning something or cooking something and It'd be really easy to try to set them up with something and get them out of my hair But there's so much to be learned from them like going through those motions with me and like making a meal with me or you know like being a part of cleaning something up and I see that teaches them a lot of independence too. So I'm kind of a parent. I cannot have read that entire book nor did I probably recommend the entire thing. Yeah I didn't read all Shepard your child's heart. I think I read like the first your chapter's like that stuff with me. I don't need anymore. Got it. Like get to the heart. Hi Abby's. I love listening to you guys when I'm doing my mom chores so thank you for making those a lot more fun. I would love to know how you guys named your kids and if there are any stories behind your kids names. Thank you. That's sweet. It's such an honor to be included in like your daily life like that. Like when I just hear about like your mom chores like that. So sweet. I know. Okay so CJ, his name is Caleb John. Caleb was obviously my husband and then both grandpa's are John. So that was really fun and we had a really hard time thinking of a boy name and it just came to me at night I said we just name him Caleb John and calm CJ because it's like the three most important men in his life. So if we have another son I have no idea what direction we'll go. And then Vivian I've loved that name since I was a little girl. Like I have a journal. I used to want to be a fashion designer and I have a journal where my I was my design book and my designer name was Vivian Vincent Yor. I have a whole page of logos and yeah just so silly but I just always love that name. It's always stuck with me and yeah I just always knew that's gonna be my daughter's name. For my kids Griffin I just liked that name. That's about it. Good story. But his middle name is Douglas which is a family name which we had lost my grandpa the year before he was born and so they share the same middle name. And then same with August I actually that was a name I love since childhood. I read the book wonder when I was a kid. Is that he gets a deformity? Yeah. Is there a movie about it? Yeah there's a movie now. It's been a book it was a book for a while. Yeah sweet. His name was like his name was Augie and I was like I love the name Augie and I was like well I guess I can only use it if I have a boy born in August which actually a lot of people were renamed Augie's August. They're like I would only name my son August if he wasn't born in August. And I was like through and so different. Okay. And so I always said I was like if we ever have a boy born in August then we got our name already and then I was like but what are the odds of that and then his due date was the 15th so I was like it's probably gonna be born in August and so I was excited about that and then he is named after Matt's grandpa for their middle name they share a middle name. Oh yes Jacob. Yeah. And so both of our kids have like significant family middle names but then just names that we like for the first time. That's how we are too. Brielle we knew we wanted a b name we liked the double b's for Brielle as well and we just like the name Brielle that's the only like b name we liked for a girl so if we have another girl we're gonna have to find another b name we like. Yeah. But her middle name is Lee after Terry like grandpa and then my mom's middle name is also Lee so it kind of worked for both. Oh that's cool I didn't know that. Yeah hers is spelled LEA but yeah you don't usually ask how to spell it so like right right. That's awesome. Thanks again to all of you that have called in and left voicemails it's probably my favorite part of filming this honestly it's like such a sweet way to end off the episodes and a way to connect with you guys and we just appreciate your engagement. If you also want to call the phone number is 602-456-9690. And I think it's always fun reading your guys reviews so thank you guys so much for leaving those if you guys want to leave a review on all your episodes or all your podcast listening platforms that would be so greatly appreciated and this review is from Abby great name from a fellow Abby hello I could simply not continue running while listening to your latest episode I was on mile nine of my run and the part about your little guy tumbling down sorry the part about your little guy tumbling down the slide and shooting your son with the nerve gun came on and when I say I was wheezing from laughter tears were in my eyes I have a two and a half year old taller boy and just could it relate more I love your show and the pure entertainment it brings a breath a fresh air from the gossip all over the internet today thank you for joining me on my runs and helping me feel strong as I train for my half marathon next month six months postpartum we should be friends like we have so many things in common seriously thank you so much for leaving that review and cloud be so nice entertain you gosh thank you guys so much wow I think that wraps up today's episode yeah thank you guys for listening and remember we're always here imagine setting your makeup then forgetting it's even theirs meet new grippie setting mist from mavelie new york gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours with flexible all day comfy grip no tightness no stickiness no residue just plump dewey hydrated skin that still feels like your skin try new grippie setting mist from mavelie new york maybe it's maveline