Why Most Kids Quit Piano (It’s Not What You Think)

- Fiber and music teaching. Proven and practical tips. - Strategies and ideas for music teachers. You're listening to the Fiber Music Teaching Podcast. I'm Nikla Kanton and today we're talking about the real reasons why students quit piano. The real reason kids quit piano is not because they're not musical or not talented or don't like music or the piano. There are several often overlooked or misunderstood reasons why kids actually quit and today we're going to go through those and look at what we can do to fix those issues so that kids can stick with it and get the benefits in the long term. I've been teaching piano for over 20 years now, so I've seen the gamut of reasons why students can end up quitting and I have pretty good retention rates in my studio now, but things still come up and students still quit from time to time. So I've lots of experience in my own teaching and also working with other teachers all over the world to know why students are quitting lessons and what we can do about it. Let's dive in. So first a couple of misconceptions about why students quit. A lot of people think students quit when they're not talented or not musical or just don't take to it. There's many ways of saying the same thing and I've heard them all, but none of them are really the reason. It is an extremely rare human who is not musical or quote-unquote tone deaf. If you're tone deaf you couldn't speak with different inflections. I mean you just couldn't do so much of what we do with language. So that's not usually the reason. It's not about talent. It's also not about interest most of the time, at least with kids. As we grow into adulthood we might have certain ideas about what we like and what we don't like and they become more fixed, but very few kids don't like music in general. So they may develop a distance for a particular style of lessons, but we tend to inflate that to become all of music or at least all of piano or whenever instrument they're studying. And that's just not the case. So let's dive into the real reasons why students actually quit even when their parents or they tell us a different reason. Number one is a lack of consistent practice. Now there are several different factors underneath this, in fact. So when students quit because they're not practicing, that means number one their parents expect that successful piano lessons means practice. Number two maybe their teacher also has that expectation. And number three and it could be all of these are just one. Sometimes the teachers make things boring when students don't practice. Okay, I'm going to put this on us. Sometimes we do. Sometimes it's on purpose, out of bitterness, but most of the time it's actually unintentional. We just have a lesson format that relies on students practicing. And so when they don't practice, lessons are actually boring. So those are the three parts of the lack of practice that you might not have considered. Now it is true that if we practice, we get to enjoy our lessons more. Like that is definitely true. And when we don't practice and we know we're not making progress and moving forward, and this becomes a bigger factor the older students get where they realize, "Hey, I'm not getting anywhere here." Or "I'm not getting anywhere very fast." That's when it can become frustrating and we feel like, "Well, I might as well quit because I'm not practicing." Related to that then is a lack of progress. So that could because of the lack of practice normally is. But it could also just be that we don't feel the progress. Either the parent or the student doesn't feel like they're progressing, like they're getting anywhere. So if it's an older student, maybe they just don't have clear goals about their studies and therefore they don't feel like they're moving towards something, because they're not, because there's no destination in mind. And sometimes with younger students it's just a general feeling that we're not getting anywhere, but usually it's that the parents don't think they're getting anywhere. If everything else is equal. Reason number three is boredom. They're bored in their lessons or in their practice or both. They're not engaged with their learning. Again, this can be related to a lack of practice because sometimes when students don't practice, teachers unintentionally do a groundhog day lesson. The student has some practice so they go over the same things again and expect them to practice the next week. But if this keeps happening, it's pretty boring. As teachers we need to be adapting to the reality of that student and their levels of practice and also about how they work and what they enjoy. We need to keep things interesting and fun for them. And that doesn't mean it's all light and fluffy and there's no work getting done. But it does mean that a student is actively engaged in the lesson and enjoying it on some level or being challenged by it sometimes. They are definitely not bored. Reason number four is unrealistic expectations from parents or from teachers. Sometimes we as teachers expect too much of students and they feel that pressure and they feel our frustration even if we think we're hiding it about the progress that's not happening. Or the milestones we didn't hit. I would say more often parents have unrealistic expectations of where students will get to at certain stages of study. You know, I have a video about realistic progress after year one, year two, year three, year four, year five of lessons. And I play as if I'm a student doing a sort of standard amount of practice after those milestones at a sort of standard starting age. Of course it's an approximation. But you can look it up if you're curious and if you want to pass it on to some other people. Because I think it's important to be aware of this. Because we see finished products so much now on social media, on YouTube, and whatever we see a eight-year-old playing some beautiful piece. Or whatever the case may be. We see the recital. We don't see the work that goes into it. We don't see the other pieces they learn to learn to wait. We don't see how many hours they're practicing or how long they've been learning. And sure, some of them may have exceptional innate talent, but that's usually not the biggest factor. The biggest factor is just that we don't see what's under the surface. It's very easy to get unrealistic expectations about how quickly you can learn to play. And that can be on the student side, on the parent side. And I say sometimes on the teacher side, if we're not aligned with the work that that child is able to put in to learning. Reason number five. Overwhelming schedules. I know you'll resonate with this one. Some students quit because they just do too much stuff. If a child is doing things every single day, they do not have the time to practice, or they don't feel like they have the time to practice. I have had some students who are very, very scheduled. I won't say over-scheduled, but scheduled. And still find time to practice. So it can happen. But yeah, sometimes there isn't much time in the week. This isn't just about finding time to practice though. And sometimes finding time for the lesson when we're making the schedule with the teacher. But it's also about breathing room, time to absorb material, time to be in the right mindset for learning. When you arrive at your lesson or when you go to practice, even if you're fitting those things in, if you're doing so much stuff all week, that you don't have room to noodle and doodle and mess around and play in the garden, it's very hard to be as enthused about that learning, because you haven't had enough exploratory time. And I know we all know this. I know we think, no, that for many children, there's just too much in their schedules. But it bears repeating here, because we can misattribute these things. It's fine, in my opinion, for a child to quit music lessons because there is too much on their plate. You have to prioritize. You sit down with them and decide which things you're going to keep. Now I would prefer that they all kept music, because I think it's so important for children to learn a music instrument, to learn about music, and they're usually not getting this in schools. However, I get it if that's the reason. I actually think sometimes it's a good reason to quit. Because if we don't have any space in our lives, if our children don't have any space to breathe, we need to find that somewhere, because they can't be ready for learning every second of every day. Reason number six is one that I I don't think many people think of, but I actually think it's bigger than we know. Reason number six is the pre-Piano routine, both for home and for coming to lessons at the studio. What? The pre-Piano routine. It's about what children are doing before their practice and before their lesson. Because if we consistently have them on a screen or in some other highly engaging and grossing activity, and then we rip them out of that and plop them in a lesson or insist that they practice, they come to associate their instrument, music in general maybe, with this unpleasant feeling. Because it's not nice to be torn out of a screen. It's really discombobulating. It doesn't feel good. You're in this game or whatever you're doing on this screen. And it is so grossing. And then before you've finished, if there is a finish, most games don't have a finish anymore, but if there is one before you've done that, before you've had any kind of closure or any reset time, you're being told, "Hey, learn this thing, go!" And so it doesn't feel good. You come to associate that activity with, "I hate this." But you don't actually hate it. You hate being ripped out of screen world and into real life. As I say, I think it's bigger than we know, because we don't always talk with parents about what they're doing before lessons or before practice. And we don't want to feel like we're nagging or telling them how to parent and they get that. But I think it's worth putting out the general information rather than targeting us with their parents and asking them, putting out that general information, and just saying, "Hey, let's consider this." Because even if parents are limiting screen time a lot, it might just happen to come right before piano. And when it does, it's not a good association to have. You know, their 30-minute screen time is up before they knew it. They think that lasted 30 seconds and it was 30 minutes. And now their parent is saying, "Hey, screen time's up time for practice." That's a tough road to be on. Reason number seven then. Not understanding the waves. This is the last one on my list. And I think it's a pretty big one. Parents and students and teachers need to understand music lessons aren't easy and fun all the time. Every child goes through these peaks and valleys. Now if it's all valley, yes, we have a serious problem. And we need to consider changing something about that child's music education. But it is completely normal that three months into lessons, a child suddenly says, "Hey, don't want to practice." And they seem to change their mind. They were finding it fun, but now suddenly it's not fun. And that could be three years in. It could be three months. It could happen every six months for their entire music education. They will go through these valleys. They'll ride high in some waves. And then they'll have periods where they're just not really that into it at the moment. And that is normal. And that doesn't mean they should quit because they're just on the cusp of another peak. And if we get now, we'll miss this one and it's gonna be an even bigger wave than the last one was, 'cause that's how the progress works. But we're not gonna love it every single time, we practice or every single lesson. Sometimes part of the learning is difficult. Sometimes we don't like the music we're playing and usually that can be altered if we know what's going on. Sometimes it's just not in the mood for that right now. There could be so many factors to it, but it doesn't mean we should quit. We have to learn to stick with things even when we're in the trough and it's feeling hard. It's not feeling as fun as usual. It does it'll get fun again and it's worth it when it does. How do we avoid these things? How do we help kids avoid quitting? And parents avoid quitting. When it comes to unrealistic expectations, we need to set manageable, achievable goals. And this is a bigger factor the older the student is in my opinion. For younger students, I'm still setting goals, but they're mostly for me. For the older students get, the more they need to be led in on those goals, goals and know where they're heading, right? So that they feel part of the process. And alongside that, make sure you're sharing those goals and the progress with parents. We do progress updates in my studio three times a year, which I find to be a good rhythm, but I would start if you're just starting this with twice a year and then you can build up to three when you feel ready. It's just a simple table basically with five different categories that we talk about with parents. So practice, technique, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And a quick note about each of those things. That goes a huge way to parents knowing how their child is getting on and knowing that we as teachers are on top of it and have a plan. The second thing we can do is to make practice and lessons fun and interactive as much as possible. If our lessons are feeling dry and dreary, they don't have to, and we can work on that. If your teacher looking for more resources to jazz up your lessons, vibrant music teaching is a great place to get those, we have games, we have courses with improv ideas, all sorts of goodies and amazing stuff inside there. Number three, we create a supportive environment, especially around practice and progress. So parents can encourage kids at home, tell them, oh, hey, I liked that last piece you played or looks like you're making loads of progress on that one or I remember last week how you were really struggling with that part in a sense, so good now way to put it in the practice. Little notes can make a big difference. And of course, teachers absolutely should be heaping on the praise and encouragement too. Number four is open communication. We mentioned progress reports before, but general open communication, quick check-ins are so important. So that parents know they can come and chat to the teacher when they have an issue or when they're not sure about something and we keep that open flow communication going. The next one is especially for parents 'cause I think a lot of teachers get this because we're in those trenches every day and it is that we're not expecting perfection, we're just aiming for consistency as much as possible. Too many parents throw out music lessons when things aren't going perfectly. Their child isn't managing to practice every day or they didn't hit that milestone they set. They weren't able to do an exam this year. But it's not about that. It's about a long game. We're trying to keep this going for years and years. So this week, it can just be a blip. Sometimes it'll go great, sometimes it won't and that is okay. Which brings me to my final point, which is to keep the long term in mind. If we want to get the cognitive benefits of music lessons, all those lovely brain juices that only exist in the minds of musicians, we need a child to stick with lessons for at least three ideally five years of lessons with fairly consistent practice. Whoa, that's a long time. And we know as teachers that to really get good at music, we need 10 years. So when we get too focused on the day to day, that one lesson not going so well, that one piece that wasn't super fun to play, that week when practice went out the window, we forget about the game we're playing, which is measured in years, not days, not hours, not minutes. By understanding the real reasons why students quit, we can help to keep them in lessons longer so that they can be inspired and motivated to learn more great music. It's all about persistence, not perfection. So I hope that this exploration today will give you some real insight into why students are quitting and how we can help them stick it out. (upbeat music) Biber music teaching membership costs less than the price of one lesson each month. That is totally worth it for all of the courses, games, resources, downloadables, printables that you can get access to as a member, as well as a fabulous community support you'll find inside. Go to VMT.NINDA and become part of the revolution.