Speaker 1Therapy's biggest impact doesn't show up in some dramatic breakthrough. It shows up in the smallest moments. You bite your tongue instead of escalating. You put your phone down instead of firing off that text. You say what you actually mean instead of what would hurt someone else the most. Nobody applauds those moments, but they quietly change your life. That's what growing feels like. And that's exactly what Grow Therapy is here for. Grow is therapy that works, covered by insurance. Sessions average $21 with insurance, and some pay as little as $0 depending on their plan. There are no subscriptions, no long-term commitments. You just pay per session. Grow connects you with thousands of high-quality, licensed therapists across the U.S., offering both virtual and in-person sessions, nights and weekends. You can search by what matters, like insurance, specialty, identity, or availability. And you can book a therapy session in minutes and begin in as little as two days, not the national 48-day average. See if you could pay as little as $0 for therapy in seconds at GrowTherapy.com slash ACAST. That's GrowTherapy.com slash ACAST. GrowTherapy.com slash ACAST. Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan.
Speaker 2the heavier you weigh, but we know that height itself doesn't cause you to be heavier for example if you eat excessively you will gain weight but you won't get any taller so this is in essence what we know that's out there at the moment is lots of the data lots of the research studies typically shows a relationship that cannot categorically state smartphone use causes x so i believe as parents the best way for us to go about making decisions is based on what feels right for our child and our family without any judgment and without feeling any pressure so it's not about shaming or making people feel embarrassed about their decision it's about simply being informed and being aware of the evidence and the data that is likely to change as our children age we will get more data around this so let's talk through the six current concerns that i see around smartphone use so this is the concerns within the data and concerns generally from people that i've spoken to the first one is around the developing brain so you're probably familiar i've used the term quite a lot this idea about neuroplasticity the brain is plastic it's moldable and it's at its most plastic in the zero to five years and then it continues to be plastic until our children are 24 but it gets its next generation of plastic and then it gets its next generation of plastic gets its next big revamp and redevelopment between the ages of sort of 10 11 and 24 when it fully matures so when we're talking about the developing brain and that it's plastic we know this idea about these neural connections this hard wiring in essence that happens when our children do things repeatedly so the concern around the developing brain and the use of smartphones is that at a period of time where our children's brains are most susceptible to beginning that process of the wiring if they are overusing specific wiring routes that lead to hard wiring that lead to a robust and sustained exercise of that particular part of their brain i have to talk about this idea that our brain is a muscle and if we only if we exercise a muscle in a particular way then that becomes particularly enlarged particularly and that's a very important part of our brain and particularly efficient and the concern obviously around smartphone use is that if really young children are using smartphones on their own for long periods of time that they're hard wiring specific things and i like to think of it as a the brain is like an operating system and if that operating system is overexposed to novelty and the quick fire responses that we often get when children are watching videos or playing games that require them to press buttons quickly and respond to new things in a quick way then we are building a specific muscle in their system that we may not necessarily want as they're getting older or may sort of inhibit aspects of their learning that requires them to take a bit of time and to give a bit more focus and attention to something so the brain is a big part of where we get lots of recommendations around younger children not having unfettered access and unsupervised access to smartphone so that's one of the concerns we will talk about how we might address some of these but i just want to talk about broadly what the concerns are in this particular episode so the first is the developing brain the second is around viewing inappropriate content we know that smartphones do not just function as ways of messaging or calling or being in contact with people they have their gateways to the internet their gateways to being able to search content online across the world globally and to have information at your fingertips which of course can be incredible but also has its downside because if we have got young children or young children or children who are not digitally literate they can very easily stumble on inappropriate content which they may develop mentally and emotionally not be able to process or to be able to understand or may have a detrimental impact on them now that inappropriate content may well be pornography so we know that 51 of children would have viewed pornography online by the age of 11 and we know that children who are not digitally literate may have a detrimental impact on them and we know that that content is is non often non-consensual and is often violent so this is what we're talking about in terms of inappropriate content however it could easily be across other platforms whether that's through searching online or whether that's through video streaming access is that they can just stumble on things that are not appropriate for their age and stage of development so that's another concern around smartphones and that's why we're talking about smartphone use. Therapy's biggest impact
Speaker 1doesn't show up in some dramatic breakthrough it shows up in the smallest moments you bite your tongue instead of escalating you put your phone down instead of firing off that text you say what you actually mean instead of what would hurt someone else the most nobody applauds those moments but they quietly change your life that's what growing feels like and that's exactly what grow therapy is here for grow is therapy for you. that works covered by insurance sessions average 21 with insurance and some pay as little as zero dollars depending on their plan there are no subscriptions no long-term commitments you just pay per session grow connects you with thousands of high quality licensed therapists across the u.s offering both virtual and in-person sessions nights and weekends you can search by what matters like insurance specialty identity or availability and you can book a therapy session in minutes and begin searching for the best therapy sessions you can find on grow.com. in as little as two days not the national 48 day average see if you could pay as little as zero dollars for therapy in seconds at grow therapy.com slash a cast that's grow therapy.com slash a cast grow therapy.com slash a cast availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan at harmony bank we believe that better happens
Speaker 3together we're a locally owned bank built on relationships and personally committed to your success our community bankers are ready to make quick decisions no big bank bureaucracy just a custom approach to help you thrive from business loans to mortgages and everyday banking needs harmony bank provides a secure modern experience with a touch of texas hospitality we're harmony bank we're
Speaker 2better happens together the third one is around bullying and in essence cyber bullying and this is in essence this notion that previously when we look the generations that are harking back to that where in in the good old days we used to come back from school and ride our bicycles and play in the street and go to each other's houses for dinner but in essence what used to happen pre smartphones or pre phones generally was that our children went to their place of education to their place of schooling whether that was a nursery in other areas and then when they came home that was their breather from other people from their peers and from any challenges that they may well have had with their friendships or their peer group at school what we know now is that obviously because our children can be connected beyond school and not only connected with their school friends that also connected with the wider world in any aspect of any platform that they engage in that we have seen an increase in bullying and detrimental and hurtful content that they have come across online and what we also know is that computers and devices by themselves are a mediator so in essence they do you imagine that they're like a buffer if a child was going to say something unkind to you in person they'd have to pretty much look you in the eye and say something say something unkind say something hurtful be a bully now that in itself is a more difficult requires more on that individual than being able to do online because the device that they're making hurtful comments on or saying unkind things takes away almost acts as this block between the person sending the hurtful content and the individual almost sort of slightly dehumanizes them when we're face to face with someone we're face to face with their emotions and the person their vulnerability doesn't mean that bullying doesn't happen we know it happens it requires a very different level of engagement than it does when you're doing it online so it is easier we see so much more bullying and hurtful comments being made online because they're not that individual is not seeing that person their feelings and so in essence we get this dehumanizing so we know that that happens and it's much more prolific so another concern around smartphone use is the prevalence of cyber bullying and online bullying so it's the developing brain it's viewing inappropriate content, it's cyberbullying. The fourth one is around this impact on mental health. And this is particularly positioned in the area of social media and social platforms. And it's this notion of young developing minds, young vulnerable children who are still trying to work out who they are, how they position themselves within the world, their strengths, their weaknesses. And the vulnerability here around mental health is that they don't have that ability to disengage from the feeds, which are giving them lots of imagery and lots of narrative around perfect body, perfect life, perfect friendships. And so if you are a child or a teen who is still in that stage of working out who you are, and you are being bombarded with, images and narratives that say, this is what life should look like. You should be happy. You should be being invited to parties. You should look like this. You should own that. You should feel this. It can then create a narrative that they're not good enough. And that often is the case for those that are feeling particularly vulnerable, those who are lacking in confidence. But also around the years, those particular teen years, which we know are all, about finding out who you are, how you fit in to the world. What are your strengths? What do you bring? What makes you likable and lovable? And so this impact on mental health that smartphones have is this narrative that they then believe is the norm, which simply isn't. And also being able to objectively look at the imageries and the feeds that they're getting, and to understand that it is a norm. And so that's what I'm trying to do. And I think that's what I'm trying to do. It's only giving them half the story about how people really genuinely live their lives. So the impact on mental health is another really big one. So developing brain, viewing inappropriate content, cyberbullying, the impact on mental health. The fifth one, and this is a really big one for me around smartphone use, is the impact it has on sleep. And this one I think we can very readily fix, but sleep is a hugely important function that I think is often put on the back burner. We don't sort of prioritize it sufficiently. But when we're talking about young developing brains, when we're talking about young children, sleep is so critical, not only to the mental health, sleep is where the brain consolidates learning. So that's one function is that whatever your child is doing, whether they're a three-year-old, a two-year-old, a 16-year-old, when they sleep, their brain consolidates all of the things that they have learned in that day, whether that's a physical skill that they've learned or an intellectual skill. So that's one function of sleep is simply to consolidate their learning. Sleep is also when growth hormones are secreted at their biggest number. So that happens during sleep. Also, it's the time that our body restores itself from any, you know, the sort of the strenuousness of our day-to-day lives. And it is also the time that our brain detoxifies itself. If our children are not getting enough sleep, then it has a huge impact on all of those processes, which then have a knock-on effect in terms of their clarity, their focus, their attention, their energy, their wellbeing the next day. And it's, for me, it's something that we can readily fix if the issue is simply down to timings when these devices are, used. It's more difficult if you have a child or teen who has a smartphone in their bedroom overnight, which I strongly do not recommend either for you or your child. So we're going to look at that, but smartphone use can have a really big impact on sleep and it can be very easily fixed in terms of the timings of when they use it, as long as it's then not also not in their bedroom. So we've got an issue about developing brain. We've got an issue around viewing inappropriate content. We've got this issue around, you know, issue around cyber bullying. We've got this issue around impact on mental health. We've got this impact on sleep. And then the final one that I want to look at is the reduction in real life interactions. And this for me is one of the greatest concerns. And I would have this with almost anything a child is doing too much of. Yeah. So it's not just specific to smartphone use, although it seems to be particularly prevalent, but if our children are doing any thing that takes up a huge amount of their time that then reduces their real world interactions. So we have all experienced the shopping or social feed black hole that we go into where we think we've only been on there on our smartphones for 30 minutes, only to realize that we've actually been on it for an hour, maybe two or three. And the same goes for children. However, well-intentioned children and teens often end up on their devices at the exclusion of in-person interactions. And I would be equally worried if you told me a child was reading books from the minute they got, they got up in the morning to the minute they got home from school to the time they went to bed. And they did this day in, day out because reading is wonderful, but it focuses on only one aspect of life, one aspect of brain development, one aspect of learned skills and competencies. And most importantly, it fails to equip them with all of the react, the sort of in-person day-to-day interactions, social cues, social norms around being around people. So that's the kind of context in terms of what are the concerns that we have around smartphones and why is it that we're then having this debate? So what we then need to be asking ourselves the question, which I'm going to overlap with this episode and also the next episode, so that we're all ready and framed about what do we do? So I think when we're looking at that process of how can I make a decision about whether to hand over a smartphone to my child, I think we need to ask ourselves really, honestly, why are we giving our children a smartphone? And I want to set this for you as your homework. And I will go back over these again in the next episode before we then go into the solution. So I want you just to think about this. Why are we giving our children smartphones? So maybe we're doing it because so that we, they can let us know, that they're safe. Maybe that's the reason why you're thinking about it. Often a transition from primary school to senior or secondary school, they're more independent. They're catching buses, they're catching trains, they're getting public transport. Maybe they're coming home from school and we're not able to get there yet. So that might be a reason. Maybe a reason is because everyone else has a smartphone and we don't want our children being excluded or ridiculed or being different. Adolescence is hard enough. It is without standing out for not having what everyone else has. And the data supports that over 90% of 12 year olds will have a smartphone. Your child would be in the minority minority if they didn't. So again, maybe that's why we're doing it. Maybe we've got a new phone. We've just upgraded and we're thinking, well, why buy another one or a different type? And I could simply hand over this phone to my child. And actually they are pretty sensible with it. Maybe that's the reason why we give a smartphone. Or it may well be that we genuinely believe that the features on a smartphone are helpful to our child. And we've got conviction that they will use it appropriately. Often because maybe we've had some evidence of their ability to self-regulate in other areas of their life. Let's not underestimate this driver as there will be parents out there listening to this episode whose children legitimately give, you know, you legitimately give your children the smartphone for this very reason, because you think it's a great opportunity. It's got great features and your children have demonstrated they have been really good at self-regulating. So I would just ask you to reflect on, be really honest. So my gift this week is going to be these questions and a bit of extra space so that you can really contemplate and consider why am I considering giving my child a smartphone? That's not a criticism. It's just simply a, when we, when we can answer these questions, honestly, we might then be able to say to ourselves, actually, a smartphone is the only answer to these. That's the reason why I'm giving my child it. Or we may say to ourselves, actually, maybe my child doesn't need a smartphone. They need something else. We will cover this in the next episode, but I just want you to have that piece of work to consider. So my gift this week to my free resource library, drmaryhand.com forward slash library, where you'll find the link to download the questions. All you need to do is pop in your email address and you'll get instant access, not only to this week's resource, but all the other free resources across all my podcast episodes. As ever, if you have enjoyed this episode, I would be so grateful if you could rate, follow and review this podcast so that others can find this. And we'll see you in the We can spread the love. So. Until next time.
Speaker 3At Harmony Bank, we believe that better happens together. We're a locally owned bank built on relationships and personally committed to your success. Our community bankers are ready to make quick decisions. No big bank bureaucracy, just a custom approach to help you thrive. From business loans to mortgages and everyday banking needs, Harmony Bank provides a secure, modern experience with a touch of Texas hospitality. We're Harmony Bank, where better happens together.
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