What Is Terrorism And What Decides What Counts

(upbeat music) Welcome to Four Better Days, the podcast for the woman becoming hotter, healthier, and wealthier in every sense of the word. I'm your host, Kiera, and ex-Corpore Consultant, turned business odor creator in mindset coach. Around here, we talk all about identity, self-discipline, and the inner work that builds the kind of outer life you don't need a vacation from. So settle in, grab your coffee, because your journey to hotter, healthier, and wealthier days starts now. Hello, guys, and welcome back to another episode of The Four Better Days podcast. If you're new here, hi, I'm Kiera. I'm so glad you found this episode. Before we get into today's episode, I just need to give you guys a little bit of a life update, because honestly, my life has been kind of crazy lately. It's been like a huge whirlwind of a lot of things happening. I have been deep in my personal development journey, mindset, manifestation, meditation. Like I have gotten not like a lot more spiritual, but I have focused a lot more on my spiritual practices. This week has also been a lot. I've been helping my best friend wrap up the last few things for her wedding, which I'm headed to this week, and I'm so excited. It's going to be the most beautiful weekend ever. I can't wait to catch you guys up on all of that in next week's episode. If you follow me on Instagram, you're also gonna see a lot of that content over there, over the coming days, so coming out over there. My Instagram is @KiraCallahan@karaan. But also, I cannot believe I get to say this. I just opened up something that I have been working on hard behind the scenes for a couple months. You might have realized that the podcast kind of slipped, and I'm so sorry, I will never do that to you guys again. The podcast is my baby, it's my pride and joy. I love podcasting, but it's just been a lot. And so sometimes in some seasons of life, you have to push off a few things that you don't really want to. I've been creating something just for you. It's called Identity to Income. It's my six week group membership for the woman who is genuinely good at what she does, okay? Showing up online, putting in the work, or for the woman, the creator, the entrepreneur that knows she has meant for more, that knows she has been playing small, that has these big dreams and these big aspirations and is not quite there. Whether it's you haven't quite started in your personal brand business, entrepreneurship journey, or you have, and you've been posting, and you're not getting the tension or the pay that you believe you should be. In Identity to Income, we work on your positioning, your content strategy, and building your offer, or building an offer, so your personal brand actually starts making you money. Whether you're just getting started, or whether you have been in this for a while, there are 12 founding spots. And I am one person to be upright and transparent with you guys. I try to make these things as affordable as possible. I have probably invested, I wanna say at this point, over $40,000 in different mentorships, and one-on-one coaches that have ranged from $2,500 to like $6,000, which is insane. I wanted to make this more affordable for you guys, so there's 12 founding spots, given that this is the first cohort of its kind, at 888, and we start on May 3rd. Cohort two will go up to about 1500. A few spots are already taken in the identity to income mentorship, and I'm so excited to get started with you all. If this is resonating with you, go to the link in my Instagram bio, and check out the details for yourself. It will also be in the description of this episode, or literally just send me a DM saying income, and I'll send everything over your way. I want to make sure the right woman are in this first cohort. I really want to make sure I'm providing all the value to you guys and getting you that transformation that you deserve. So if you have any questions, feel free to DM me. If not, I'm so excited to get started with you guys in just a couple of weeks. But now let's get into today's episode because it is a good one, I promise. We're talking about the season nobody posts about. What living at home in your mid to late 20s actually taught me? Let's get right on into it. As you guys know, I spent the last year and a half, which is so crazy to say that. Like I can't believe it's been a year and a half. But I spent the last year and a half traveling. I had quit my nine to five job, but a ticket to Los Angeles gave that out, gave that a shot for two months, realized nope, this is not for me, but a one way ticket to Bali spent a ton of time there. I had an incredible life there, traveled across Southeast Asia, made my way to the Middle East. I visited Qatar and Dubai, jumped over to Europe and went in a frolic to round some countries, went to Mexico, came back home very briefly for the holidays, went back to Mexico, Argentina, Uruguay, Colombia, and now ever since the first of March, I have been back at home with my parents. And so I wanna talk about what the travel era actually felt like. I had such a full life. I had an insane amount of freedom. I was always moving. There was always something new happening, whether it was meeting a new friend, going to a new place, trying out something new like surfing, pottery making. I made perfumes like it was just so, so exciting. And my identity was tied to being the girl who was out there doing it. I was doing it all, new city, new country, new version of myself. I feel like I shed so many different identities in that time, every couple of weeks. And then talking about what it felt like to come home. There's so much silence of it. I unpacked my entire life yet again into my childhood bedroom. And so there's kind of like this weird dissonance of having something so bold and then starting back where you started and coming back where I started. Because funny enough, I started my entire social media content creation journey in my childhood bedroom actually around this time six years ago. I had moved back home because of COVID. And in the fall of 2020, is when I picked up my phone and I posted my very first TikTok. But I'm back. I'm back here again. And this isn't the first time I'm back. If you guys have been around for a while, you have known or you would have known that I lived in Miami a couple of years ago. I moved there with an ex of mine. He was my partner at the time. We moved to Miami, lived there for two years. I had such an incredible life there. But we moved back home and I ended that relationship. And so I'm here again. Same walls, same town, same family dinner routine. And so I want to talk about that, the season of life. And whether your story is similar to mine or not, I feel like there's a lot of seasons of life just like this. When I went to college, when I moved back home from university, when I got my first job, when I moved into my very first apartment, sometimes it feels like we need to know everything. And we need to show that we are so okay, that everything is going perfectly fine when sometimes it's not. And that is okay. My day-to-day life right now looks nothing like it did six months ago, a year ago, a year and a half ago, in the midst of my traveling. My day-to-day life right now looks more similar to my day-to-day life when I was working a nine to five job. And that's something that I've realized that I am not loving so much, but I also wanted. When I was traveling, I was like, this is amazing. It's a new day every day. Everything is new. I have a fresh start. Now I have my business. I have more responsibilities. I have different contracting rules. I have different clients. I have things that I have to do every day. While when I was traveling, I didn't. I was in this bubble of living off of my savings. So it was okay that I didn't spend all the time focusing on my business. I probably should have, but it's okay. And so my day-to-day, I am really focused right now on building things up. And sometimes like that building, that creating, that shifting, that moving to a new identity or even if you're pivoting career, getting into the career field, moving to a new place where you know no one, whatever it may be, it's okay if things feel a little off. If it feels like you've moved backwards or if you've taken a step backwards, that's what it felt like the very first week when I came back home. Of like, everyone was so proud of me. Always asking me, where are you going? Where are you going? And then I was like, home. Like I'm going back home. I'm going back home with my parents. And I did that for a couple of reasons. one I had been gone and I had been away from my family for a year and a half and so I really wanted to see them again. Two, I have two older dogs. We had to put one of my dogs down in the winter, and I'm so glad that I was able to be here in her last couple of weeks with us together, spending the holidays with my family. I missed them so much. I wanted to be around them, you know, kind of resetting and coming back. And so although the first week back kind of felt like it took 10 steps backwards, I feel like it's actually helping me again, yet again, 'cause this isn't the first time I've done this, but get that clarity. Have this time with my family. Have this time to actually focus on the things that I wanna do without being financially stressed or feeling a financial strain. I've had the time to build back up my savings, pay off a little bit of what I had on my credit card, you know, get more clients, build things out, and not feel like I'm falling apart or not feeling like I'm in this vacuum sucking the life out of me because I have people around me to help me out. And so there's this weird guilt sometimes where you have to choose this. You're not a victim of your circumstances and it still feels hard. You can take your circumstances and make the very most of it. Did I imagine that I'd be 28 years old, living back at home with my parents? No. Do I know that this is a short little temporary stint that I'm only going to be here? Honestly, for a total of eight months, I came back really in January and even then, like I was gone January and February, so I came back in March and I'm planning on leaving again by September, no later than like the first of October, once I get an apartment because I am moving. I officially know where I will be moving. I just have a few little trips and travels in the meantime that it really would make sense to move and pay all this rent right now if I'm not even gonna be in one place for the entire time. So it's like, okay, I can use these circumstances. I can use this decision that I had made for myself to get myself to the next level. Focus more on my health, my wellness, my goals, my business, my personal branding, investing in myself, investing in my business and all of these things. Here's the thing that nobody tells you about coming home after doing something adventurous. It feels like a failure, even when it isn't. I see everyone around me, my friends, even my sister, we moved my sister back into another apartment in January. People who have apartments have salaries, you know, they're in relationships that, you know, might look perfect, they might look stable from that side. We all know that might not always be true. We're scrolling on Instagram and seeing everyone and they're like, quote unquote, era. While I am eating yet another dinner at home at the kitchen table with my parents, waking up every morning in my childhood bedroom, spending all my weekends with my parents because I don't have friends in the town anymore because everyone has left and pondering and thinking, what the fuck am I doing with my life at 2 a.m.? That is okay. You know, when you get those thoughts of, am I behind, did I make a mistake? What do I have to show for it? Let those thoughts come in and let them leave just as fast as they came in because everyone's life is different. Everyone is on a completely different journey route, path of their life. There's no need to compare apples to oranges, steak to chicken, chocolate to sweets, whatever it may be. I honestly wanna show you guys and share with you guys that it's okay. You know, like when I first posted that I moved back in with my parents, I had so many of you guys reach out to me and tell me like, you feel so seen, you feel heard, you are feeling embarrassed and now you're not as much, it is okay. And honestly, I don't think it's a mistake by any means. I think it's actually helping you advance even further versus if I, for example, were just to like come home, you know, I had drained all my savings from traveling and went straight into an apartment and paying rent. Having that financial strain would actually probably do worse for me, myself, my business, my nervous system than anything else would. Social media makes us 10,000 times worse because everyone's highlight reel is running while you're, you know, behind the scenes is yelling just as loud. And that is when I tell you, get off your fucking phone now. I actually just got a brick and this isn't sponsored, this isn't an ad or anything. I got a brick because my screen time was so high. I was scrolling of like, okay, what kind of content should I be creating? What should I be posting about? What should I be talking about? Scrolling and seeing other people's stuff and I was like, no, I'm actually diluting myself, my ideas and making myself feel shit about my current circumstances because of this. So I got a brick where I literally locked myself out of my phone for like eight plus hours a day, not including when I'm sleeping because I wanted to be able to just think for myself and think freely and make conscious choices myself, be creative again. I feel like when I'm off my phone, I am way more creative. It's funny because I recently got back from a girl's trip with my college besties. Literally love them. We went to Sedona, Arizona. That's my first time in Arizona. It was so pretty. If you guys ever get a chance to go, I definitely recommend it. It was brutally hot when we went. It was about like 110 degrees Fahrenheit, which I wouldn't recommend that. They were going through a heat wave when we were there, but we're all talking and we're all in vastly different stages of our life. I'm the only business entrepreneur, girly, girly online, what have you. Our other friend is getting her doctorate in school. Our one friend is in a long term, like 10 year relationship. They have a precious dog. Like it is so cutesy and our other friend just moved in with a roommate. And so it's really cool to see how we're all so similar because like that's clearly why we're friends. We have known each other for so long. We've been on the scene quote unquote path because we all ended and graduated school at the same time, but how vastly different our lives look. And no one's life is better worse than the other. And I don't think I should do what they're doing nor should they do what I'm doing, but that just goes to show that it's completely okay to do what you want to do, what you think is best for you in this current moment of time. My friend used to live alone, and she decided that she wanted to have that roommate experience and she's getting that now. And so some people would think, oh, that's a step backwards because she went from living alone to now living with a roommate and people might be thinking, what can she not afford living alone, what was wrong with her living alone? And it's like, no, she just wanted to have a human connection as we all do. And so those conversations that we're having on our trip made me realize like, okay, everything's fine. Everything is working out as it should. And the one thing that I do think as well that is helping me so much is when, you know, when you're in this weird phase of being between two phases or being between where you are and where you want to be and you're kind of like in this in between, it usually means that you're just between two versions of yourself, not that you failed. And what you're currently doing is bridging that gap. And so what I've been doing a lot more recently is focusing on myself. How can I do things currently today that will help bridge that gap between who I am now and who I know I will be in the six months from now and like the coming six months basically. And so I have set out some crazy goals for myself. Over the next six months, my goals because if you heard me a while back, I had set goals from January to now where I wanted to travel to like four countries, all these things, my goals now between basically mid April to mid September and of September basically are to lose 15 pounds to get stronger in the gym or like get stronger in my body by going to the gym. I actually just tired a personal trainer nutritionist to help me get to those goals, not because I don't know what to do, not because I don't know how to do it, but because I would rather have somebody holding my hand along the way and helping me expedite that process instead of going through trial and error. Some of you guys may know I used to be a holistic nutritionist. I used to talk all about food and recipes and health and wellness on my socials and I've transitioned everything as I have learned and grown and evolved as a human. And so like I know clearly what I need to be eating for myself, what is best for myself and my body. But again, I would rather just expedite that process. So my goals are fitness related to loose a weight and get stronger. I'm lifting weights at the gym. I'm doing cardio. All of those fun things. I'm eating like 130 plus grams of protein a day which is insane. Coming from a girl who literally just you see pasta like two meals a day. I am focused on my mindset. I'm doing a ton of manifestation. journaling, meditation, energetic work, topping, making sure that what I can do in my times of being in like that theta state when your brain is like not fully awake yet, to get myself in colops timelines has been so incredibly crazy. I've started to see like these small synchronicities where I'm like, there's no freaking way this is happening right now, but I'm loving it. Number three is to kind of shed and this kind of goes with the last one, but shed my old identity. This version of me that was still playing small, like I have these big dreams, but I was playing small. I would spend so much time procrastinating is what I like to call it where you procrastinate and you just plan and that's all you do and you don't take action. It's like, I have these dreams, I have these vision boards, but I would just stay stuck at my desk, at my computer, planning things out, prepping things, but not doing not speaking on it, not taking action on it. And so I'm done with that. And this kind of ties into my identity as well of like, who do I want to become? What do I want to be perceived at or who do I want to be perceived as? Whether it's in terms of like my personality, my identity, what I wear, how I look and things like that. So I'm literally going to be to be taking you guys along a series coming soon. Once I get back from the wedding weekend on shedding all the crap in my room that I actually don't need anymore, that are probably holding me back. And like when you move things around when you clear those energies, you open up space for more things to come into your life. Also showing you how I'm building this business. I feel like I talk all the time about building up this business. It's a coaching business. It's a mentorship where I'm helping you basically do what I did, but collapsing that timeline because it took me six years to figure this shit out. I don't want you to spend six years figuring this out. I want you to literally be successful tomorrow. And so I'm showing you guys what I'm doing behind the scenes of building this business, building the mentorship. I'm actually launching my newsletter in May. So you can sign up for the link or you can sign up for the wait list for my newsletter for the four better days newsletter. I'm relaunching it. Some of you guys know I used to do it. For when I was doing holistic nutrition and I would share recipes and things like that, but now it's going to be all about mindset, personal growth, personal branding, making money, like all of this stuff. And then basically that ties into like the finances of everything. Like I want to help you make FU money. Literally I want you to prove to everyone around you that like your dreams weren't crazy. And that you were actually able to achieve all of them. And so I'm going to be sharing with you guys how much I'm making my financial goals, what I'm doing with it. And then bringing you guys along the journey with me of moving out of my parents place in the Cummins months and bringing you through that entire process of moving to a new city. This time would be completely alone because I'm not moving anywhere with a partner because I don't have a partner right now and bringing you on that next step of my life. But obviously that part will come in the coming months. It's only April and I've already told you that'd be in September. But that is basically that. And so I want you to I want to offer you a different way to basically look at this season because I think the foundation season, these quiet ones, these unglamorous ones, the ones that don't look like anything major on the outside. The ones that maybe you're a little embarrassed about, whether you move back home, whether you had to get another job, switch careers, move in with a roommate, what have you. I think are actually the most important seasons you could have because when you're doing things in silence, that's when we're typically actually building and moving and collapsing timelines. And I think that these seasons are typically the ones that we've been trained to kind of skip or hide or diminish because of the embarrassment, shame or guilt that might come from them. And so what I'll be doing is continue to share with you guys what I've actually been building during the season that nobody can see yet. So identity to income, I've been starting to show my clients that I've been working with, explaining more of that on the podcast, my fitness stuff, my savings, my content. I promise you guys. I know if you've been around for me, thank you for being so patient with me as I've gone through like this personal evolution. And I am thankful for you guys to continue full along with me as I actually show the evolution. And so one little analogy I want to get is you know when you're building a house or maybe you know, I haven't built a house yet, but I have seen houses under construction. And so for the longest time, it's just them laying the foundation, they tore apart the land, they are making, you know, the land flat and making these plots. And then you see them lay the foundation for the base of the home and it really looks like nothing. Like I've driven by my community where we're living, like where my parents live, there's several communities being built all the time. And it just looks like nothing for so long. It looks like mud and dirt and an open field. And then suddenly it just shoots up fast. Suddenly there's like six houses built, everything has doors and windows and roofs on them. They have driveways, there's sidewalks, there's trees being planted, all of this stuff. And it's like, whoa, holy crap, I feel like yesterday there's nothing there. And so that's basically the season of life. This like stuck season is basically you setting this new foundation, the new base, the concrete, the layers, everything that's going to help stand you up from here moving forward. And this is why I want to share all of this because nobody posts anything about this. Everyone posts about them making it. Like this is what I did to make XYZ. Not this is how I'm showing you how I'm making XYZ or how I'm doing XYZ or how I'm moving out of my parents or how I'm making money or how I'm scaling my business or whatever maybe nobody shares that. And so I want to be that person for you guys where you feel comfortable being open and vulnerable because I am open and vulnerable with you guys. And I think that's why it feels so lonely is because like for example when I first moved home with my parents and I shared that you guys were like, thank you for sharing this because nobody shares it. And I want you to know that you're not the only one who feels this, who's going through these things. You're absolutely not and I want to be that person that shows you that. So I want to wrap this up basically by sharing the five things that moving back home at 28 has actually taught me number one stability is a strategy. It is not a step backwards. Having this like soft place to land having this home, having this community like my parents around me while I'm building something real is smart. It is not something to be shameful about. It is not something to be embarrassed about. And anyone who is making fun of it are also renting over price apartments and probably living paycheck to paycheck, which if you do this part first will allow you to not have to do that afterwards. Maybe we maybe we'll probably still rent over price apartments just given the economy, but at least it won't be paycheck to paycheck because you're setting this foundation to build that savings build that stability for the next step. Number two is that this stuck feeling is almost never actually stuck. It's the in between feeling. You're not stuck. No one's ever stuck. It's just you're kind of loading. You're you're bridging the gap. And so I truthfully do think there's a difference between those two things. Number three, your most important work happens when nobody is watching me traveling. That was so visible. I was sharing and showing I'm in Bali, I'm in Malaysia, I'm in Singapore, I'm in Qatar, I'm in Dubai, I'm in Mexico, I'm in France, I'm in Spain, I'm sharing all of that, what I'm doing, all of that was fun. This era is almost invisible because there's not much to it. It's not that glamorous. It's just kind of like the same day over and over. I wake up, I go to the gym, I work with my clients, I create content, but what I do and what you do in then visible seasons determines what the visible ones look like. So before my travel season, before that visible era, I was working hard at a 9 to 5 that I hated, saving up all that money. So that was hard to show, but then that next era was easy to show. This era technically should be hard to show, but I will show it nonetheless. And then my next era of moving somewhere alone will be more visible if that makes sense. Therefore coming home can be a choice, not a defeat. I need you to reframe this and this is probably the most important one. I need you to reframe. You didn't come home because you failed. Even if you think you failed, even if you lost your job, you had to pivot, you have no money, whatever, you might think you failed, you did not fail. You came home because you had something to build. You have something to scale, you have something to work on and you needed to go somewhere safe to be able to build it up. And number five, the woman who skipped the season of in between that no one talks about will pay for it later. If you rush to the next shiny thing, the next move, the next era, you will keep wondering why nothing sticks because you never sit in the discomfort and that discomfort is the work that we need to sit in on. And so if you're in the season right now, this unglamorous one, the one that doesn't look like anything is happening on the outside, I just want you to know that you're not behind. You're not failing. you're just in the season of building. You're laying the foundation for your next step. And if you've been thinking about your personal brand about turning what you know into something that actually pays you or even sharing this in between journey on social media and creating that as your personal brand, then this is the actual perfect time. It's not when you're traveling, it's not when life is glamorous, it's now, when you have the time and the clarity to actually do the work. And that's exactly what identity income is. It's my six week mentorship for the woman who is already good at what she does or wants to share what she's going through and just needs to shift and align her identity with it all and have a strategy for posting, for creating that can actually help you get paid for it all. Founding spots are still open at 888. The link to that will be in the description of this episode in the link in my Instagram bio and my DMs are open if you have any questions. Let's get into it. I'm excited to start working with you guys in the next couple of weeks. Again, we start May 3rd. And with that, I'll talk to you guys in next week's episode. Bye.