What if you foresaw your own abduction?

Audible subscribers can listen to all episodes of this is actually happening. Add free right now. Join Audible today by downloading the Audible app. This is actually happening features real experiences that often include traumatic events. Please consult the show notes for specific content warnings on each episode and for more information about support services. Even though I had seen this in the video tape, it was more than a million times worse that it was so horrific and so terrible. There's no horror that I could possibly say. The sheer panic because it wasn't even the panic of what was happening. It was the panic of what was about to happen. From Audible originals, I'm Wait Missle Dine. You're listening to this is actually happening. Episode 411 What if you foresaw your own abduction? I'm Leon Nefak. What happens when only fans becomes more than just a side hustle? Only fantasy is an in-depth look at the world's newest profession and how the rules of human intimacy are being rewritten online. Listen wherever you get your podcasts or binge all episodes of Only Fantasy, add free only on Audible. He turns spy and devises a plot to shut the rebellion made George Washington a prisoner. Follow the spy who now wherever you listen to podcasts. You can also listen to the full season of the spy who betrayed the American Revolution early and add free on Audible. My father was raised on the south side of Chicago from a family of Polish descent. My grandparents were really hardworking decent, fabulous people. My mother got married quite young. She was about 20 years old. My father was 22 or 23. My mother felt like wanted to get out of her house as soon as she possibly could. And I think that marrying my father felt like a pretty safe bet. I had an older brother and a younger sister. My brother was two years older than me and my sister was one year younger. We moved to Sheraville, Indiana, which at the time that I was growing up was a really fabulous place to live. We lived in a beautiful brand new house and I think that by anybody's standards they would have looked at our family thinking we had it all. We were the all American family for sure. My father worked. He was a butcher. He worked. My mom did it so she was home with us. She was like a typical housewife back then. It was in the 60s and she would cook for us and we would swim and ride our bike and have sleepovers and have a lot of friends on the block. So it just felt really idyllic. I was not only a happy kid. I talked a lot. I was engaged. It was the kind of childhood that anybody would love to have that feels too good to be true. But it was. As a child before six years old I had a knowingness. When I say I had a knowingness I felt like not only what I know about future events and what would take place. What was happening very early in my young life is that I would see a family member, let's say, come over to my parents' house and I would see a family member's face melt. And once I would see their face melt I would know that person would pass away within days. And then sure enough within a day or two that person would pass. It got to a point where up until six years old maybe it happened four times. It did get to feel like a little bit of a regular thing that everybody in my family just knew that I had this. I don't even know if we would say gift at that time. But they knew that I had this ability. We knew what would take place and it did. I wasn't afraid of it. I just took it to be a fact. I don't know how else to put it. And I don't even know how at six years old I would know that. But I did. And when they did pass, I wasn't even afraid of that either. I think I took the idea of somebody dying as that was supposed to take place. And in this lifetime we all live but we also would die. That's part of this life. That's what happened. When I was six, my brother, my sister and I, we were watching Mod Squad. And I remember my parents coming in. My father was doing the talking and he said, we want to talk to you guys. And I knew this wasn't good. My father told us during a commercial break, he actually waited to commercial came on to tell us that they were going to get divorced. And believe it or not, he kind of timed the conversation for just the length of a commercial break. My brother started crying. My sister started crying. I just sat there and I didn't even react because I didn't know what it meant. I'm six. I don't know what divorce is. And my parents just looked at me. They didn't say a word. And my brother, who was only eight, described what divorce was. Then they got up. They left. And it was me, my brother, and my sister. And I remember my brother who, again, was only eight really counseling us, telling us we're going to have to move out. We have to decide who we're going to live with. They take it divorced and we ended up moving into an apartment with my mom. And there are great life of this upper middle class lifestyle. Completely came to an end. We then lived in a really crowded one-vegum apartment. So it was my mom, me, my brother, my sister. And then she had a string of boyfriends that were living in our apartment that were coming and going. My mom started to look different. She started to dress different. She started to smoke cigarettes and drink alcohol. She felt like a different person. And then we were on food stamps. And I remember food stamps because all of a sudden my mom would be missing for days on end. So we went from her making chocolate chip cookies and dinner and everything being great. So now she's missing an action. She's never around. She would leave us the food stamps that would come at the beginning of the month. And we would buy peppermint ice cream. And we would eat peppermint ice cream for dinner, the three of us. All of a sudden my mom had this idea that we were going to move to Arizona. And at the time my father was trying really hard not only get custody of us, but he wanted us not to be able to move out of state. I don't know if my mom was actually allowed legally to do it, but my mom just did it. She just took us with her boyfriend. Next thing we know, we're living in Phoenix, Arizona. I remember I was seven years old and at school, I was in the free hot lunch line with two of my friends. And I said, "We're going to play a game, but we're going to play who can hold their breath the longest." I'm going to go last and I know that I'll beat you two. My first two friends, they just did it to the point where they could just not hold their breath any longer. The minute it felt a little difficult, they just stopped holding their breath. So I just kept thinking like, "What babies?" So when it got to be my time, I thought, "I'm going to show them." I held my breath so long that I did pass out. We were standing next to a free-standing record player. I hit the side of my temple on the corner of the metal stand of the record player. So not only did I pass out, but I blacked out. When I came to, I didn't come to like, in this room. I felt like I was in a tunnel, not a scary tunnel, not a tunnel that felt claustrophobic, a tunnel that felt inviting, like I was being embraced or that I was wrapped in love, which up to that point, I was still a happy kid, but I never felt love like I felt. So when I was in this tunnel, I felt love all around me. I felt embraced by love. I felt like there was invisible arms wrapped around me. It was just like I was being soaked in love. And even though I knew that I wasn't in the right consciousness, I felt like I had died or I was dying, but that also wasn't scary to me at all. I wanted to stay there. I felt like I was home because it was like an embrace that was coming, not just from arms wrapped around me, but it was like coming from inside. It was love that was pouring out of me and into me and all around me. I was immersed in it. Then I saw this beautiful white light. It was magical. It was like crackling and sparkling, like a sparkler would. And I felt even the smell was like clean and pure. It was like all my senses were heightened. Everything just felt right and perfect. I just felt like this is where I wanted to be. Then I was told, but it wasn't even a voice that I heard. It was just like a knowingness that I could not stay. The next thing you knew, I was being scooted backwards. But I didn't want to be scooted backwards. I wanted to stay and I was being told that I had to go because I had more to do. And in that moment, I said, actually said I don't have anything to do. I'm seven years old. I just ride my bike and listen to Andy Gibb. My parents are divorced. No one's going to miss me. I could stay here. And I was told, "Nope, I had to go because I had bigger things to do it." And the next thing I know, I woke up and the nurse was leaning over me. And there were a couple other people like the principal and other people and they were saying to me, "Do you know what happened? You played some silly game and you passed out. I didn't tell anybody what happened. I didn't tell them about the experience. But I was mad that I woke up. When I got home that day, when I saw my mom, I didn't tell her about my experience. And the next day, which was the normal day that my father would call us, I told my dad what happened. My father believed what I was telling him. I instantly understood that there was a big picture from this. Nobody used the word near death experience. But I realized that I did die for a period of time. I knew that I was in a different consciousness. What I took away from that is I realized that we don't die, that we never die. That experience gave me a real understanding that everything is interconnected, that we're all interconnected. I was the seven-year-old kid, but I didn't feel like a seven-year-old anymore. It's almost like I felt like I was 40 now. And I felt like I understood everything about life, wasn't afraid of dying, wasn't afraid of anybody dying, but I also wasn't afraid of making any mistakes. I kind of felt like we were all guided in the way that we were supposed to, and I just knew that I was going to have a big life somehow. I didn't really know how, but I wasn't worried about that. I actually felt and I still feel to this day that was one of the best gifts that were ever given to me. Every single day since that experience, it's been over 50 years. I have thought about it every day, and I can put myself back there instantly. I can feel this sensation, and that amazing feeling, that everybody is interconnected, that this world is a big web, that we are all here for a reason. In this interconnected way, I just got it. I was a different person after that experience. So I just kind of went on with my life. I was still living in Arizona with my mom. And in the apartment, there was a big bedroom that me and my sister shared, and our beds were facing the doorway. At this point, maybe eight years old, my sister was seven. All of a sudden, in the middle of the night, she started crying, and I woke up, and I saw in the doorway, the figure of a man, the full size of the doorway, that actually looked like Abraham Lincoln. He was just standing there. He wasn't saying anything, and it wasn't actually scary, even though my sister was afraid. And I don't know why all of a sudden, I said to my sister, "Just don't look," so my sister put her head underneath the covers, and I kept staring at this figure. I fell asleep, and it was the next morning, and my sister and I were sitting at the kitchen table, and I noticed that she wasn't right, and I said, "What's wrong?" And she said, "Do you remember what happened last night?" And I said, "Oh my god, yes, I thought I was dreaming. Do you remember?" And she said, "Yeah," she described exactly what I saw. For the next handful of months, that's exact same experience happened several more times. When my sister, Barb, in the middle of the night, wake up, she would start crying. I would look at it, and the same thing unfolded. At some point, I think the second or third time that I saw this, I kind of got mad at this figure, and I'm like, "Why are you doing this?" It wasn't like this figure spoke to me, but all of a sudden, it's like, once I said it, I realized that this figure was here for me, not for my sister, but I realized that my sister needed to see it, because at some point, I would question if I was crazy, like if this was really happening. And I also did realize that not only was this figure here for me, but I felt like this figure was here to help me with something, but I didn't know what, but felt friendly to me. And so I would have conversations with this being like, "Okay, I understand that you hear for a reason. I don't know why yet. I understand you're here for me. I named this being, I named him David." And I'd be like, "I'll reach out to you when I need you." I felt kind of invincible. I felt happy, not afraid at all. I felt good. Fast forward a couple years. Now I'm 10 years old. One day in the summer, for some reason I was just laying in my room during the day, it was not at night. And the next thing I know, my eyes were shut and the best way to put it is to say it was like I saw a videotape or a movie, because all of a sudden in real time I saw a girl, even though I didn't see her face, and all of a sudden I knew that she was 12. I saw that she would be abducted from her house, that she would be gone for a period of three days, and then I saw these awful things that would take place for her. I saw that she would be raped by many people over the course of these three days. I saw that she would be beaten and tortured. And during this whole time, just like if you watch a scary movie, it was like I was telling her in real time to keep her head above water, to stay awake, because she was being beaten and tortured and drugged. She was starting to lose consciousness, and I kept telling her that she had to keep her head above water because she had to get out of there, because I knew that she would. And then I saw that she did get out. I didn't see how. I saw that there would be a trial. I saw that there were two people that would go to prison. I actually saw also that there would be posters all over on trees for her, that she would be on the TV, on the news, and then I saw things that would happen to other people. And then my eyes were open, and I was looking at the bottom bunk, and I felt like I was out of breath, and all of a sudden my sister walks in the bedroom, and she said to me, "Are you ready? I'd be waiting for 10 minutes for you." She was waiting outside for me, because we were going to go bike riding. I never told her about this, but at that point in my life at 10 years old, I had never heard of anybody being raped. I did not know what that meant. I didn't even know what people like having sex was, but when I saw what was happening to her, not only did I know that she was going to be abducted and that she would be raped, I saw what they were doing to her. And I was traumatized by what I was seeing, but I felt like it was important real time for me to be brave for her, because I felt like I was her real time cheerleader talking to her. You're going to get out of this. You're going to live somehow. The difference with this experience and with the faces melting is that what I was younger and I would see somebody's face melt with an a day or two, maybe three days that person would pass. Once I had this experience of this videotape, months went by, years went by, nothing took place, none of the things that I had seen, so I just thought it was like a terrible experience. I didn't know what I thought of it. And I remembered during that time saying to this being, "David, I don't know why I saw that, but you have to protect me." Please get those thoughts out of my mind, because I wanted to be that carefree kid that I had always been, and after that experience I was a little afraid for a while. David actually helped me with that. I just was able to put it somewhere in my brain or my mind, or it was just tucked away, and it was like my old self again for a period of time. From 10 to 12 years old, my mom was a full-blown drug addict at alcoholic. She was very reckless. There were longer stretches of time that she was absolutely not around. We were still talking to my father a few times a week. He would get us maybe for two weeks out of the summer. It was mostly that we were with my mom. She was also now in her own life, not only was she missing a lot, and she's this full-blown drug addict at alcoholic, but now the string of boyfriends that are starting to get violent, they're starting to beat her up. They would actually beat her up in front of us, or pull her hair, or drag her by our hair. In the very beginning, we would try to stop it, but she would also very often be the one that would be beating up on them. So after a while, the three of us, kids got numb to that. Then it was preferable when she wasn't there. We were relieved when she was gone. The one thing that seemed like it started to come into my life was this violence, even though none of it was ever towards us. We were never beaten up. None of these boyfriends beat us up. My mom never beat us up, but we were witnessing all this time. She was not only drinking it in front of us. She was doing serious drugs in front of us. She's totally out of her mind now. She doesn't know what day it is. She doesn't know if we ate, but there was a new boyfriend on this scene that was a little bit older than her. And he seemed like he had a couple bucks. And he wasn't beating her up. Okay, well, if he's not beating her up, maybe this isn't the right direction. I'm 12 years old now. And she makes this declaration that we're going to now move from Arizona to Jackson, Michigan. The house that we moved into looked like the Amityville Horror House. It was a big house, three levels, but I remember being happy in the house. And I thought, oh, this is a fresh start. And this boyfriend seemed good. And he had a couple bucks. I felt hopeful. I kind of felt like my old self again. So it was the Friday night of Labor Day weekend. And I asked my mom if I could spend the night at my best friend's house who actually lived next door to us. It was a person I had become friendly with over the last few months. When I asked her if I could spend the night, she said no. And I was so shocked. What do you mean? Why can't I? And she just said, "Because I'm your mother." That even seemed laughable to me, 'cause she was barely, hardly my mother. And not only did she say no, that I could not spend the night that night, but she actually made me, my brother and my sister, go to bed that night really early at 8 o'clock at night. She never cared where we were, didn't know where we were. We didn't have bedtimes. For her to have a school to bed at 8 o'clock at night on a Friday night, the weekend before we were about about to start school seemed crazy, but she did. We had a back door right off the kitchen, and we had a screen door that had a lock on it, and then an actual regular door that had a lock. That night, my sister, what's my mom and said, "I tried to lock the back door, "but the back door won't lock." And my mom said, "Don't worry about it." And my sister said, "What do you mean?" And my mom just started yelling at my sister, "Go to bed, I told you to go to bed." While my sister came upstairs, she came into my room, and she's like, "Why is she acting so crazy?" And I go, "Who knows?" She's probably drunk or high. We went to bed, and the next thing I know, I fell asleep. All of a sudden, I woke up and I was sitting up in bed, and there was a man who was kneeling by my bed, and he had his hand over my mouth. The other hand was over the back of my head, and he said to me that my brother stole his twin bike, and that I had to walk downstairs and go into the garage and get the bike for him. And if I didn't go with him, he would kill me and all of my family. And when he said that my brother stole his twin bike, I knew my brother didn't steal it, 'cause I went with my brother to buy it. I just felt like this guy knew too many details, and I was just super afraid. So I went downstairs, we walked into the kitchen, all the lights were off still in the house, but when we walked into the kitchen, the screen door was propped open. Then when we walked outside, his car was idling, and it was in front of the garage door. All of a sudden I saw that somebody was already in the driver's seat, and I got really afraid. I thought, "Oh my God, they're gonna take me." He took this duct tape, and he put it all around my mouth and on the back of my hair, so my whole mouth was taped, and then he taped my eyes, and then he made me lay down in the backseat of this car, and I thought, "Oh my God, this is like what I saw." Because I had seen what was gonna take place, and I said, "Oh my God, please let this not happen." Then the car stopped, and I had to get out of the car and walk, then I had to go up some stairs, and the next thing I know I had to go into the basement. That is when my entire life changed from that moment on. (siren blaring) I'm Razah Jaffrey, and in the new season of The Spy Who, they open the file on Benedict Arnold, The Spy Who betrayed the American Revolution. America is fighting to free itself from the British Empire, and one of its foremost generals is Benedict Arnold. He's a smuggler turned battlefield hero, and admired for his aggressive tactics. 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This season is about a doctor who was never truly held accountable for the patients whose lives he ruined. A story of greed, betrayal, and a fight for justice that will leave you questioning who to trust. Listen to Dr. Death, the cowboy, wherever you get your podcasts, or binge the entire series right now, only with Audible. (phone ringing) - Well, I went down these basement stairs. I just felt like time stood still because I felt such a complete panic. I know that seeing that video prior gave me some hope during this time, but I think that the reason why it was so fearful is because I had a feeling what I thought may happen. The first thing that happened when we got downstairs in the basement is he started punching me in the face. I felt my lips split. I could feel that was bleeding. It felt like a terrible dream. I felt like a nightmare. I felt like, did I die or, 'cause I felt like how could this happen? How could this actually be happening? Then he punched me in the eye, and I could instantly feel, even though I had this duct tape on my eye, could feel my eyes swell. Like then he started to rape me. Even though I had seen this in the video tape, it was more than a million times worse that it was so horrific and so terrible, there's no horror that I could possibly say, the sheer panic, because it wasn't even the panic of what was happening. When I saw this video tape, I knew that this was over a three day period. Then when it started happening, I thought, oh my God, how can I endure this for three days? And a lot of the things I had seen didn't even happen yet. I thought, oh my God, I just wanna die. What is the quickest way that I could die? That's all I can think of in my life. I thought I don't want to get through this. That went on for I don't even know what period of time. I was getting beat up, I was getting raped. I was raped by many people in that basement. And then I was trying to not live. Every time I would get hit or punched or beat up, I was actually trying to hold my breath also. I was trying to do what I had done in the hot launch line 'cause I thought I didn't want to get through this. The next thing I know, they brought me up two flights of stairs to the top level of this house. They were dragging me up the stairs. And as they would drag me, both of my shins was scrape on these metal stairs. So not my shins were bleeding. We got upstairs to that second floor. They beat me more. And then they threw me like out of mattress. There was not a sheet or anything on it because I could feel the buttons with my hand. Even though this whole time, I had the tape on my eyes and my mouth. All of a sudden I started to hear the feet of mice on the floor. They shut the bedroom door. And I was laying on this mattress. There was, I don't know how many mice in that room, but it was to scare me. And it caused my legs were bleeding so bad. These mice were attracted to the blood of my legs. And I kept pushing them off. And I just thought, this is freaking terrible. This is the worst thing that could ever possibly happen. Then they would keep coming upstairs and they would drug me and they would beat me. They would rape me. Then I would start to hear a lot of people on that ground floor where they were. They were underneath me. I thought, oh my God, they're having a party 'cause it sounded like people that were like drinking. I thought, oh my God, how could this be happening? And one of the times that they came upstairs, they had a radio and they turned the radio on really loud so that I guess nobody would hear what was happening with me. Even though I could tell that when they would come upstairs that there was many other people, wasn't just these two guys that had kidnapped me where other guys that were coming in the room too. 'Cause I could hear their voices or I could tell that it was somebody different. And all of a sudden on the radio, it was like a talk show and it was on a Christian radio station. And I heard on the radio, if you believe in God, God is here, God will do anything that you want. If you want God, just call on God. And I said, God, you gotta be kidding me. I don't know what you're doing right now, but look at me, I'm gonna talk. And all of a sudden I started to talk to David. And I said, David, help me get God. Which seems so crazy now. But I need to get God's attention. I need help, I gotta get out of this. And all of a sudden David spoke to me and said to take the tape off my eyes. You just need to uncover a little tape you need to look around the room. So I did, I removed some of the tape from my eyes and I saw two things. I saw that there was a phone, an actual landline. And I didn't even know if the phone worked, but I couldn't believe that it was there. And then I saw that there was also a window, but I was on the second floor. So I didn't even think much up that I just thought, okay, there's a window. And all of a sudden David told me to pick up the phone. So I picked up the phone, I called my mom. My mom answered the phone and she's like, where are you? And I said, I don't have any idea. I said, somebody came, it got me. And she said, you're on the news and the FBI are here. They got on the phone and said to me, look out the window. Tell us your surroundings you've been gone for two days and at this point if you're not dead You're gonna be dead soon. You have got to get yourself out of that I just saw houses next to me and it kind of looked similar to where I was living So there wasn't anything like any landmark to tell them Then I heard them come back upstairs So I put the tape back on my eyes. They laid back on the mattress They did not know that I had made the phone call and then more of the same happened When they were beating me they were doing really terrible things They were doing things with gasoline and at first I thought they're gonna set me on fire Because I could smell it They were putting cigarettes and cigars out on me They were cutting me making marks all over my body It was like they were trying to scare me out of my mind I don't know how else to put it So not only was they going through all this horror But then they were trying to scare the living daylights out of me And it just kept escalating and kept getting worse Then they left the room again and at this point I could barely breathe I felt like I was dying. I was having an actual problem breathing I felt like I didn't have any energy It all seemed like everything was in slow motion And I just felt like I was losing consciousness I thought I was gonna go back to that place that I had seen When my near death experience and I thought okay That's why I had that near death experience So that when I went through this terrible thing and I was killed Then I would have something to look forward to I don't know how long that went on for but David started screaming at me You have to jump out of the window And tell me to get up, get dressed, take the tape off my eyes And I was like arguing with him and I'm like no I'm not gonna do that I'm just gonna go to the other side I just I don't wanna do this But I did it. I took the tape off my eyes I got dressed. I'm about to jump out of the window And I got kind of afraid. I thought how am I gonna do this? David said to me pretend like Kenny Which is my brother is pushing you out of the window And just when I started to say to David Kenny would never do that. The next thing I know I was out the window I fell when I broke my foot and I could barely lean on it And I just hobbled over to the neighbor Somebody was working on his car in the front of his house And there was a guy that was underneath his corvette And all I could see was his legs And I thought oh my god I gotta get his attention So I kind of hobbled over there I started crying and he came out from underneath the car And he says oh my god are you the girl that's been on the TV? I said yes and we went into his house Called 911 and the police and the FBI and my mom came I went missing on a Friday night and I escaped on a Sunday I found out after that as soon as they found out that I was missing My dad drove to Michigan But I don't remember my dad coming to get me I remember going to the hospital And it was really scary because they were doing this rape Canon me which I had no idea at the time What that even was even though they explained it I was almost barely talking at this point I was really out of it I was scared to death Even though I felt safe-ish Because I had escaped I was really almost nonverbal This woman came in She seemed friendly And she told me that she never had kids But she said to me that if she ever did she wishes she had a daughter like me And for some reason I thought oh that sounds nice Like she sounds kind but I thought to myself but I'm still not gonna talk to her Everything was felt slow motion and it felt like I was like on the outside looking in And I wasn't really participating And then I was in the police station And I was really beat up my foot hurt My head was pounding There were these men that tried to talk to me and her This rape ad because those in the room and my mom was in the room I remember my mom and I remember thinking she's acting fake I sat there for hours and I wouldn't talk And I remember thinking to myself if I don't cooperate I'm never gonna leave even though they didn't say that I started to try to but it's like the words want to come out And then all of a sudden this woman asked for everybody to leave the room And she said to me Are you embarrassed to say what happened? And that's actually what it was At my 12 year old life I had never said things like this I never had my period I didn't even have the words for this stuff And I was embarrassed I was embarrassed to say in front of these men And so she said to me I'll help you and I'll help you use the words that you need to use They said that one of the guys they had already in custody The other one was still missing But they told me that they were gonna have to A couple policemen like watch my house So that I didn't have to be afraid that anything would happen They explained to me that there would be a trial And I would have to testify in a trial I remember at the end the FBI agents asked me to me alone They asked me how did I get the nerve to jump out of the window What made you do it? I felt also embarrassed to even tell them You know like David You know this make believe entity But I just thought well I can't sound any crazier than the rest of this Like it all just seemed something so unbelievable that I could have went through So I just said it I just told them They didn't seem shocked They didn't question me They didn't think it was the craziest thing they had ever heard of And they said to me So you kind of knew that this would happen to you Then I said that as a young kid I saw people's faces melting I told them about my near-death experience They just sat there like two professionals They didn't think that it was fantastical They didn't think it seemed outrageous They didn't think it seemed made up They just believed me They just listened The next thing they asked me is If you saw all this happening for you And you were able to get out of this Do you think you could help us with other people There's a lot of other kids that are missing Do you think you could help us find other people I actually just agree to it because I thought it'll get my mind off of things I'll do anything to not talk about this For the next six months I was preparing for my own trial They did catch the other guy after a week I helped the FBI with two missing children cases They gave me some information I gave them information We solved the cases So I felt kind of good about it So that it kind of for a while Helped me while I was preparing for my own trial kind of get my mind off of things During the trial back in 1979 I was able to go in the courtroom and testify And I didn't have to be in the courtroom with them It went on for several months They both got sentenced to 30 to 60 years in prison The day that they got sentenced in prison Which was Valentine's Day 1980 Instantly my dad got custody of us And my father had been trying to get custody of us for years And never could get it That day, me and my brother and my sister drove with my father to Chicago For that first year I was still seeing this rape counselor on a regular basis I had a psychiatrist I did have some PTSD I kind of was really working hard towards trying to feel normal I was having a lot of bad days There were so many reasons why it was terrible So I mean it was the beating and the rape Getting taken from my bedroom The mice There were so many different layers to this I was angry That I just felt like enough of my life had been taken over a ruin So I worked really hard and tried to be happy And I kind of wasn't happy kid It wasn't until about a year later I was re-traumatized I'm in eighth grade, going into ninth grade I'm living in Chicago with my dad And one day I said to my dick I don't understand how this could happen to me How could these guys have even known where I was? How could they have gotten me in our bedroom? And then all of a sudden my father showed me two New York Times articles Said I didn't even know that there was a New York Times article And he said there were two guys One was 18 and one was 23 The 23 year old Who was the one that got me out of my bedroom He had escaped from a prison in Schenectady, New York Seven months prior to kidnapping me Him and two of his prison buddies They were on the land for seven months Then I said to my dad But I don't understand How would he know about me? How would he know where to come and get me? That's what my dad told me That my mom had been to a bar with her boyfriend This boyfriend, the one that was older The one that wanted us to move to Michigan The one that I thought was better than the other guys Her and this guy they were in a bar With that other kidnapper, the young one The one that had not escaped from prison She made a $5 bet with that one kidnapper And if she lost the bet She was going to leave the back door unlocked Or open and they could kidnap me And do whatever they wanted with me Even though my mom was not mother of the year And I knew a lot of terrible things about her And I knew that she was a drug addict and alcoholic But she had never hit us It was so hard for me to even connect That she made this like $5 bet of me And I could not grasp it I just could not for the life of me Put it together And so my father said that That's how I got custody Because as soon as this happened My mom's turned like states witness She confessed to everything She lost custody of us We found out afterwards That she actually married him So even after they did this to me She married her I had an emergency simply meeting and I said, "Listen, I just found out that she was involved. She made a $5 bet and so from this point on, I'm never going to have anything to do with her." And they instantly were just like, "All for me." They're like, "No, we're never going to talk to her again." And I said, "I can't understand how would she possibly have known that I would have escaped?" And my brother just looked at me and he said, "I don't think she knew that you were going to get out." And I remember sitting there like somebody had just slapped me all across the face after everything I had been through and I said, "Wait, you think that she thought I would be killed?" I still gave my mom the benefit of the doubt that she made a bet about me, the stupid $5 bet she lost, but not that she was getting me murdered. And I just thought after everything I had been through, that was like one of the hardest parts to even imagine. And I kept thinking he has to be right because the odds of me getting out, the odds of me escaping were hardly anything. I just could not imagine that my love could have done that. Even to this day, I'm 58 years old though. This happened when I was 12, 46 years ago. It is part of the story that is almost one of the hardest things for me to even fathom. We watched her become more of a drug addict, more of an alcoholic, we're witnessing really terrible things. But there are still no words for that part of the story. So even though we were living with my father for over a year, we barely talked to her, never saw her after that. Because after that point, I never thought of her as my mom. I thought of her as one of the bad guys. When my dad told me about my mom, I then took 10 steps backwards. I felt like such trash that she would sell me for $5. I don't think that any dollar amount would have been better. I don't think if she would sold me for $1,000, it would have been better. But the fact that it was $4, $5, it mattered. And I went through a period of time when I was really struggling. I didn't really want to be in Chicago. Even though a lot of people didn't know what happened, I wanted to be away from everybody. I wanted to be away from my family. I just didn't know where I fitted. I didn't know how I would ever be okay. I would think back to my earlier childhood when I was so happy and even with that near-death experience, I thought, who cares that I had that stupid, near-death experience? Because even though that experience felt great, I thought, "Oh, I'm ever going to have a meaningful life. How would I ever have a good life?" And I wished I was dead. I was not ever suicidal. I never considered killing myself, but I did wish that I had died. I felt broken. I didn't know how I was ever going to manage. I just felt like there was going to be no place for me. And I just felt like I had to get away from everybody and try to figure something out. When I graduated high school, I just decided I had to get out of Chicago. I moved to California. At this point, I realized I was psychic. I didn't care I was because I thought, "Yeah, I'm psychic, but look what I found out. How is this helping me? I'm not living an extraordinary life. I saw my abduction in my rape and my torture. I didn't feel like it was a superpower. Even though I had helped the FBI with these missing cases, I was not like I was mesmerized by that either because I was only doing it because I didn't want to think about my own case preparing for my old trial. So I still didn't know how my life was going to be. I didn't know how I fitted. But when I moved to California, I didn't really have a lot of skills. So I thought, "Alright, I'm going to go to California. I'll give some readings. I'll make some money for a period of time." I didn't even think it was going to be for a long period of time because I didn't even think it through. I just thought, "For a while." I was young. I was in my early 20s. I'm giving readings to adults, famous people, athletes, and all these people. And I did this for several years in California and I was making really good money. But then after a while, I was known California for four or five years. I started to worry about these guys in prison. I started to think, "Wait a minute. When are these guys going to get out of prison?" And I was afraid that they would find where I was. For some reason, being in California felt like the wrong place. I had this idea that I should move to New York. I felt like I could get lost if I moved to New York. So after five years of living in Wilhaya, I moved to Long Island. I met my first husband that I got married when I was 26. I had my daughter when I was turning 29. And it was pretty good. I was living in a great place in Long Island. But I got divorced when my daughter was four. And then when she turned 15, I then got remarried and I relocated to New Jersey, which I live in New Jersey now. I was doing readings and I was really good at that. And people were thanking me and telling me how I changed their life. When somebody comes to me, they come to me for a couple of reasons. Sometimes they just want a psychic reading. I'll tell them things about their life. And usually what will happen in that reading is I'll tell them things about their life that has already happened. Difficult things that are happening that they already know so they can confirm in real time. The whole purpose is not to just wow them and tell them things that I couldn't know that will happen in the future. It's about empowering them that when it does happen, they have a little bit of knowledge of it so then they can make some hard decisions to get out of that difficult time to then get to a more meaningful place in their life. It's always about having the most hopeful outlook on having the best life you can. When I do medium ship reading, so anybody who comes to me that their loved one has passed over, number one, I say, don't tell me who it is. And I also set some expectations, not only for them, but for myself. And I say, listen, if you're coming to me because your son passed away, let's say, we don't know for sure that your son will come through. He may not. Other people could come through, but it's not like Marilyn Monroe or Elvis Presley's going to come through. So it's usually somebody connected to them, but it's all from David all these years later. That's the connection I make and then however the information comes through, I just know to trust it. And that's how I do it. Unless there's a medium ship reading one is somebody that has passed over, that is them. That is their soul coming to me. David steps aside, but David is always in the room. David is the one that starts the information. But if anybody does come through from the other side, it's always that. It's not David giving me the information. Very often when somebody comes to me when their loved one has passed away and there is a connection made, they are really happy in the moment because things come through that I couldn't possibly know. What ends up happening though, a day or two later is very often I'll hear from that person and they'll say, listen, the things that you told me about my son, Joey, let's say, in the moment I felt good, but now they're longing for more because that connection was made and they know that Joey's still around in another level of consciousness and they're yearning for more contact and they'll very often say to me, can you tell me, did Joey say anything else? Have you heard from Joey? I understand that because I do understand. Sometimes even some surface connection with somebody is helpful in the moment, but because of the deep grief you go through, you're yearning for more. There's only so much I can do with it, but I do feel a real tremendous gratitude that I can help anybody in their life feel more helpful and more positive because that is always my goal, always what I want to do. One of the things that's important also to say is when I saw that videotape when I was 10 years old, the world of things that were going to unfold, I saw things in great detail about this girl that was 12 years old even though I didn't know with me, but I also saw things that would happen to somebody that were way older than I am even now that were me. One of the things that I saw that videotape was that somebody would get divorced, I did get divorced. When I married my first husband, I already knew from a psychic standpoint that I would get divorced. I didn't care about it because I didn't think of, oh, I shouldn't marry him because I'm going to divorce him and I didn't know when I was going to get divorced. Four years after I get married or 40 years. So I just thought he's a good person. I love him. I'm going to marry him. But I have actually seen things about my life that are things that are going to happen that are much older than I am now that still haven't transpired yet. But I don't live my life where I think that I'm afraid of anything because the worst is behind me and I got through that. About two years ago, I was talking to my attorney who was working as something for me. And all of a sudden she said to me, was this your maiden name? And I said, yeah, how would you possibly know my maiden name? And she said, did you live in Jackson, Michigan? And all of a sudden I got instantly afraid. She says, well, I've come across these articles about this girl, you in Jackson, Michigan. And then she asked me if it was true. She told me that these guys were out of prison now. They were when they got out of prison. They were banned from the internet so they cannot have any internet access. What ends up happening is that the guy who escaped from prison, he had to serve more of a prison sentence for escaping from prison. After that was over, he then reoffended, raped other girls, went back to prison, has since gotten out. My attorney said he was going to be off of parole for life even though he had reoffended many times. And she said that he actually was trying to sue the state of New York. He said it was against his civil rights to not have access. us to the internet and she said, "I think he's kind of looking for you." So it ends up that he lives about 40 minutes away from me where I live now, but I had no idea. And I think it's notable to say, at this point, I've never had any social media. In my whole entire life, I've never had Facebook because I never wanted, I never knew when these guys are going to get out of prison, but I thought when they get out of prison, they're going to come and get me. They're going to blame me. So I never wanted to put myself out there. But that's when I finally decided for the first time I was going to come out and publicly tell my story because up to that point, my family knew, my inner circle, but mostly nobody knew. None of my clients knew. What I thought that I would come out and do a podcast and tell my story, the reason why is I thought I'm not going to be frightened any longer and I didn't want to live in fear. And I also thought it was safer for me if I told my story since he lives so close to me. I don't want to be a sitting duck. That is why I did come out and that is why I have told my story. I started to feel, I don't want to say, got past the trauma part of it because you don't ever, but there can be periods of time where I could be going through large chunks of my life and things feel pretty good. And then all of a sudden there could be something that triggers me and I can take 10 steps or 20 steps backwards and then I go back to therapy or counseling and build myself back up again. It's been kind of like that my whole life. When I was younger, I remember my teenage years, there was a lot of shame around it. Now I'm not ashamed of it. When I think of telling people that I survived this ordeal, I feel proud of myself, but as a kid, there was shame. As I got older, I thought of things differently and was easier to deal with parts of this. But even now, there could be stories that I hear that brings me back to it. I've done a lot of counseling, a lot of therapy and I don't have as many flashbacks or as much PTSD. But when I tell you I have a fear of mice, there's not even words that I can convey how profound that is. When they first put me into that bedroom and they released those mice in my room to scare the hell out of me, it did. It psychologically put me in a place that even now, if I watch TV and sometimes there's like a pest control commercial on. I can't even physically see the picture of it and I don't even like to say the name because the minute I say it, I have such a bad reaction to it that it's not just like a normal person, I'm actually deathly afraid of that. Even the thought of it brings me back to that sheer terror that I had, that moment that it was happening. Sometimes I could feel that they're crawling on me. So that is one of the things that is the absolute most horrifying thing I went through. When you're being tortured and you're going through really terrible pain, there is a point where your mind takes you out of the experience a little bit. So there were points when they were doing things to me to cause physical pain that I could remove myself from the experience. So I wasn't as in the moment as with those mice. I've not been able to trick my mind out of feeling less fearful of that and I've got a lot of therapy about it. Not something I've ever been able to conquer because these guys, they did stuff to me psychologically that was thought out because they had to go buy these mice. They didn't just make a couple bad decisions. They went really out of their way to psychologically try to break me down. I don't know what made them do this. I can't even imagine what could possibly go wrong in anyone's life. I can understand to some degree that people have bad things that happen to their life and they lash out or they do things that they're not proud of or that are criminal and they learn from. There's no words for this. I don't understand what can bring anybody to this. I think a lot of people are going to have really bad things that happen in their life and they could have a life of crime, let's say, because I think a lot of times you have a really bad upbringing. I think that we can all do bad things. But I think that what's happened to me, it's more than a crime. I think it's that they're evil. It's evil. It's different. Out of all the medium ship readings I've done, there's only been a handful of times that an entity has come through where I felt that they were evil. And actually, I have had a couple serial killers that have come through that didn't feel necessarily evil to me. But I have had a handful of entities that have come through that there is no question that they are evil, where I got such chills that I could not even finish the reading. And even though I'm dealing with an entity that's not here anymore of this realm, there are the other side, they still come through evil. It is not anything that I want to pursue. I don't want to be in contact with them. I don't want to bring the message through. So I just end the reading. And even the person that's been on the reverse end of it when this has happened felt that evil too. It's like a coldness that you feel the room. I have to say even though it does give me chills thinking about it, that happens hardly ever. And all the readings I've done, it's happened five times. But I do think that mostly we're not evil. I think mostly we're here to learn for a soul's evolution to become higher and better and more. So even people that have done bad things, even people that have murdered people and what we all would consider in this society as not things that are okay. I don't even necessarily think those people are evil. But I do think that evil does exist. But I think it's a small percentage of souls. One of the things that gets to me is I actually think that this is like a crime against humanity. When I think 46 years later, that people are still at the rate that they are being kidnapped. In this day and age, I believe in 2026, I should be out of business. I should not be having to ever do a case of a missing person because there should not be any missing people. My goal is in this lifetime to not only just help individual people get through this, I would like to be a part of a bigger picture where we start to go in a direction like this doesn't take a place anymore. People should not be traffic. We should not be held against our will. And I think as a society and as human beings, we have to do better. I think now in the year 2026, there are many more people that I see that vibrate higher. They have a better understanding of higher consciousness and how they think that we move throughout the world. When I think back 40 years ago, you didn't hear a lot of that. A lot of people feel like they have a better understanding of how their life works. They don't need a psychic. There's a lot of things that we can all do on a higher level for ourselves so you don't need to seek somebody out like me. We're vibrating higher. We're more evolved. We're more spiritual. We get it. We are much more evolved. We know better. We can do better. I think one of the biggest things was two years ago. When I found out from my attorney that Kennepper was not too far from me, that was the first time that I decided to meet this on in a different way. Because prior to that, I was living my life, but hidden. I was like I said, I was not on Facebook. I was not on social media. I'm still not. I don't ever think I will be. But I'm not afraid anymore. Because I saw him for the weak Howard that he is, the bully that he is. It's easy to kidnap a 12 year old girl. You're a coward. You're an old man now. But you still are a bully and I'm not afraid any longer. It feels really empowering not to be afraid. And even my mom selling me for $5, that still hurts me. But it doesn't have the power that it did when I was a teenager when I heard it. But every experience makes you stronger whether you want to be or not or get you to another level. It changes you and it shapes you. A lot of what I do also is I help with finding missing kids. And I can say to you, that is never anything that feels great. A lot of times they're not alive, but I do it because I never, ever forget what it was like for me to be that kid, to be blind and that crack mattress, hoping I would die. I know what these kids feel like and I know what it feels like to feel hopeless. I do that pro bono, I do that for free. I do it because I feel like I want to help as many people as possible. And very often, even if I don't help find a child alive, it can get the family closure. I believe the only reason that the kidnapping even took place is so that I would help with missing children because that is my life's work. That's what I do for a living. I would never have done this for a living. I would never work with missing people or missing children or do this for a living if I had not been in that situation. I do it because I know what it was like. So I think that I was set up in this lifetime to do all these things and all these things happen so that this would be my life's work. Now I live my life where I literally every single day, whether I'm doing high level stuff or if I'm just watching Netflix, I want to have the best day I can. I want to have the most memorable experience. So when I have a really rich life and I realize that being said occasionally or having a hard time is not necessarily better or worse than having a good time. There are just a few things that I can do. different experiences. Most of the times the difficult things that we go through, we went through it for a reason, well we can get to the other side of that there's a lot of growth that usually takes place. So even though we don't want to go through those difficult things, very often people will say they would not trade in those difficult times because they made them who they are. Nine months ago now my husband, my second husband Vinny, who I loved, who I was married to for 12 years he unexpectedly died, he died of cancer. When we found out that he had cancer, he died two weeks later. I say to people that out of all the things that I've been through, this is actually one of the hardest things that I've ever gone through because nobody has had the impact on my life like Vinny did. Him dying at 60 years old unexpectedly and in such a short period of time has really made me question a lot, but almost every single day since he's not been here he has come to me. When I do a reading, a medium ship reading, and somebody from the other side comes through, Vinny comes through. And even though I feel hopeful and I'm grateful to hear from him and he shows me things, what it really does in the big pictures that reminds me that there is no end we don't die. We still go on it's just a different level of consciousness. We don't go nowhere I think we're still here, we're vibrating under much higher speed. So here we are, spiritual beings going through a human experience which is very difficult. Now I think of my husband as his full spiritual self. From that regard I'm like good for him, he got to evolve as his full spiritual self, but from a selfish human being standpoint I miss him. So I can see both. I remind myself that this didn't just accidentally happen. He was always going to die when he did as hard as it is for me to think of, even though he was young and I'm young and he passed, that was always going to happen. I try to remind myself that when I go through things that don't feel great, that it is happening for a reason, it's an experience I need to go through and let me get through it as best as I can. And that's how I try to live my life and I live a pretty grateful life. I am grateful for all the thousands of people that I was able to help because of my experience. And if I can help anybody, then it's ultimately worth it even though it's a big price to pay. It's still worth it. If I want them to have that same feeling that I had when I got past the real hurdle of the trauma and realized that I wasn't going to be robbed of all the other experiences of my life and that those are meaningful and those are important. I tell people, even though things are really difficult, there can be a light at the end of the tunnel and there's something worth fighting for. Part of our why we're here and our existence is to fight for the life that we want. And even though it could suck for a while and we don't know how we're going to make it through, why to get up the next morning or what we're going to do or what our purpose is, I don't think we're supposed to just wake up and hope the day works out. I think we're supposed to try to make our decisions in our life and make sure that we have the best life that we can. There's a reason to fight to be happy and to make the most of every day. I feel grateful to be alive and a reminder of the big picture, which is this life is truly remarkable. [Music] Today's episode featured Annette Bricka. If you'd like to reach out to Annette, you can find her contact information in the show notes. If you'd like to hear some deeper reflections on Annette's story as well as reflections on the last few episodes and updates about the show, please subscribe to my substack called Beyond the Story at www.wittmissaldine.substack.com. From audible originals, you are listening to this is actually happening. If you love what we do, please rate and review the show. You can subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music to listen ad-free and get access to the entire back catalogue. In the episode notes, you'll find some links and offers from our sponsors. By supporting them, you help us bring you our show for free. I'm your host, Whit Missaldine. 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