What Got Us Here | The Church of What's Happening Now

was going on, beautiful people. Uncle Joey here for another episode of The Church of What's Happening Now. New Testament. I got my brother here tonight. Pedro Garcia has my co-host nights. I'd be real interesting because we're both Cuban. Both of us grew up in North Bergen. So there's a lot of shit we could come from that. But uh, everything's beautiful as usual. What's going on, Primo? Shit here. That last little mushroom took me over the edge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought you could feel it coming in the future. But hey, it's Monday night. You got to take a chance. Columbus did, right? Absolutely. Why say the words are really going to live by those words, right? Yeah. It's Monday. I wanted to lighten up the mood in your first time. Oh, fuck yeah. I want you to do well and be a good mood. Oh, yeah. Once I start tripping, those sneakers are going to be a fucking pro. I'll tell the zebras. Jesus Christ did. Last night he's twitching two nights ago. He's twitching and I got to check up on him. He's got like this fucking bag suit on. It was a Batman suit. That man was back in 2013. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He had these pointy shoes like he was dancing ballet. He had a switch to Rambo. Yeah, that was cool. I had us for saying Rambo. My chat was going crazy. They're like, damn, they were going at me too. They're like, take that fucking suit off. Yeah, it's true to you. The ass was all tight. You were like, you were running from somebody with a big dick and no conscience. You know what I'm saying? No, no, you got me with that. I started thinking I was like, damn, the suit is mad. That was fun watching you do that shit. Like fortnight though, you could do you could do fucking, uh, you have sea streams on the twitch. Oh, yeah, yeah, brother. Oh, you're watching that too? Huh? You're watching that too? I watched it for a little while. I'm watching that. I'll wipe my some TV show on. I'm usually watching four things or one. Oh, yeah. No, that. Yeah, man. And you could do all that shit, bro. How was your weekend, brother? It was good, brother. It was good. Good on stage. Yeah, on stage a little bit, bit of a little time. Pedro's also an eight-year comic in. Yes, sir. That's also great for us. He knows the game. He knows the struggle. Oh, yeah. He's living in it right now. Oh, big time. Going from MC to start featuring on the road is a big bump and jumping. Absolutely. You know, but what else did you do? Anything like you did a couple spots weren't? No, I was in Jersey City. I did a couple spots there. Jersey City. There was a spot called Riff on the roof. Another spot, you know, a pet shop, crock pot comedy. It's a buddy of mine runs it. That's great. They have like these little independent rooms, you know. Sometimes they pay you nothing. Sometimes they give you ten bucks. Sometimes just give you a kick in the ass. You don't say anything. And I smile. Hello, isn't it? It goes a long way. Yeah, but those rooms just get you ready. Absolutely. There's no people fight to get out of those rooms. Even when I was doing a spot at the comedy store, I would still do those rooms because they bring you back to reality. We got in the comedy store. Yeah. It brings you back to that world. And I never wanted to get out of that world because I know that's the real comedy world. Not all shows going to be perfect. Yeah. You know, some shows you open up and there's a drunk guy. The late shows you got to learn how to handle those fucking things. But that's a complete different item. I had the week from hell last week. Yeah. I walked 10,000 steps for three days in the road. Oh my God. From Costco to, I mean, you name it. I walked all over that domain mall in Austin Texas. And you know, I had to get couches. You know, it was a reality check. Like, yeah, we can't get your couch for four to 16 weeks. I'm really taking that motherfucker to go. Give me the floor. Yeah. I don't give a fuck for the 16 weeks. Let that type of time. Yeah. That's one crazy time left. I don't want to spend 16 weeks waiting on a fucking couch. It was, and then if it wasn't availability, I went to just, I saw a store. You know, you're walking the more you're minding your business, you see the store and you walk in it and Austin, I go to the guy. Yeah. You know, I'm much for the chairs. He's like, and Austin, he sat me down. Nice guy. Great salesman, but I wasn't even looking for it. He's talking about ergonomics, the chair, and where your arms and your back. And during the conversation, I'm like, talk. I did time for two fucking years. All right. I sat in chairs with a completely opposite of the ergonomic. And I'm fucking fine. You know, $20, $300 for a chair, $2,000, $1800 to play computer games. No, I'm okay. Then that nice table, I go to how much for the table. So as you tip the fucking computer, it says $7,000 for that last couple of table. It was like the last stop. I go to Jerusalem and bring it back. The fuck seven G's for seven G's that could probably go to Jerusalem. By the fucking table, put some crazy glue on that bitch. So it makes it a journey. No, forget about that's crazy man. So I was, you know, guys, I don't thank God, thank God my wife was on top. She sent the Cuba. She sent what Cuba ain't got. All right. Carpets. Oh, forget about this is glasses, knives. Oh my gosh. She sent everything down there. The TV, the the the fucking the TV we got was great. They hung up the same day. I want to thank boring mattress. On the show for providing the two mattresses and bed frames. You guys are fantastic. Once I get it all together, I'm going to make a little video for you guys. I mean, bro, I went to they had my bed frame up. And when I get there, he goes, I go, what's the remote control on my bed for? I got no TV on my wall in the bedroom. I thought it was for the fan. He goes, no, it's for the bed. Give me a shot. Oh my god. But the fuck? Oh my put you up. Holy shit. Too bad. I'm not 18. Don't forget about that man. He's a whole dying man. He'll just close up. Oh, forget about it. You're like eating tamale and also the bed becomes a fucking a taco. And it just went. Oh my god. I did it where it stretched me out a little bit. And I was really shit. No, boring beds is the shit guys. Check out. Listen. I think they got a few ads this month and I'm looking forward to it. Oh yeah. Because I laid that bed for five minutes and I knew this is deadly. This mother fucking bed comes with Xanax in it. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you know, sit down. The Xanax blows up like one of grandpa's fucking devices. Yeah. Yeah. But you know, I did my show. The first show was great. It was my residency show and it was fucking great. We didn't. We didn't the little room. I just wanted to, you know, before we go fucking crazy, I wanted to make sure I could put the chairs in there, you know, fill the seats. And it was great. It was not my favorite material, but it worked. The welcome, like the way people will look at me now and talking to me and now that I moved in was great. I did a couple gigs at the sunset room. Christina. I love the best. I love it. You know, I got to see red bread bank came on one day and we were screaming. He was fucked up. He came from the bed and it's just a different type of place. But this building I moved into, you know, when I went to that guy's listen, not only am I getting a little older, I forget shit. You know, you look at things differently. Plus, I got so much going on in the coconut that when you look at something, you know, like the first time I went back and looked at the one bedroom, I'm like, this ain't gonna work. I don't know. I'm a solid to my wife, but this ain't gonna work. And then I got the two bedroom and that works. And then you just forget the things that you signed up for until I went downstairs and I got in the red light sauna. I would just get up, get coffee, sit outside for a while, shoot rents, shoot downstairs, sweat, but 35 to 40 minutes. Jump in the cold plunge, run back upstairs, wash my pussy for regular clothes on. I wasn't even eating breakfast. I was leaving to go look at furniture or chairs or fucking outdoor patio. I got the outdoor patio, which is bad fucking ass. I told my wife, don't even look at the credit card. So you're gonna snap. But it was that bad. You know, it's a hundred degrees there. If you get came our shit, it's either gonna melt or something's gonna happen. You know, this motherfucker, a can of coke, grease on the pad, slid right off. I'm like, all right. I need one of those. And white just to really get the party started out. They had a salad. They had a sale on black leather. I'm like, dog, you know what I'm gonna trick me. I look like an Indian buying New York here. The fuck. So it was great, man. That whole thing just remembering what shit caught. Oh yeah. Cause my wife does all that for a reason. I don't want to see it. You don't want to feel stressful. Rose trees. You shit. You pants when you get groceries. I also got my first fucking. I could order groceries now on the app like a doctor. I just sit upstairs. He brought 21 or 20 items. What's that called? Instacart? I just discovered Instacart. That's how old I am. Nice. Just discovered Instacart. Fucking fantastic. Fresh blue and then the guy in the building works for in the card. Who's better than me? So there's a guy in the building that works for in the card. You follow me? Beautiful. So you're at least interesting. I missed my family though. Five days. Yeah, man. Three's my listen, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. I don't miss nobody. You understand? It goes by so fast. Your excitement, the comedy, this that you don't get a chance to miss anybody. But then you got two days of think. I had one day to think. Yeah. And already I was looking to leave Friday night and land in Newark like about 11 o'clock. There's a flight. and I was like, I don't know. So I stayed till Saturday morning, that was great, you know. I like what I'm gonna do for myself now now. I could already see it just these little shows, you know, like I was with somebody today and they were like, well, no, the shows are everything that's included. If they're gonna put pictures up on me performing, I want people to still know I'm doing it. Absolutely, though. At the highest level, so yeah, you know, pictures from other places are nice, but that place, it lights people on fire to get pissed off when they get happy. You know, and I said, Pedro, yeah, I wish I was there to hit like to just to hear the crowd and then Joey did. No, it was great. It was a little room, so it was no, they know fucking glad. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. But there's an interesting mix of people there because you have half the people who lived there and half the people who are out of town. And when you do comedy and you do it, uh, in front of, let's say you go to Jersey, all right? We go to the Dojo, Jersey, very nice club, or very rarely, you're gonna see an Australian in there, which just came from Australia for 10 days, who's gonna be in New York, maybe they're a fan of Danny Brad, maybe they're a fan of Pedro, but are they gonna do the extra joint? Not really. You're gonna get basic New Jersey people, couple stacked nine and a couple of long islands. It's a different feeling when you're at a club and you're talking to people and you know 60% of that club is in town to visit, but they came to a club to see whoever. I didn't know about this while I lived in LA with the comedy store. The last two years of the store on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, it was, people didn't even speak the language, whatever, you know, they had to speak the language to understand, but you guys know what I'm saying? They were 60, 70% tourists. It felt better to them. It makes you feel better. Has what we take for granted in America and all this shit. They come and see a comedian. They take pictures, they make a video, the cat, like the Irish, every time they see me, we gotta talk about the IRA, you know, we get that conversation going, Jack. But that's the difference in just a hometown crowd. When you go to the city and you do the New York comedy club or the seller, the seller, people that come to the New York City, they go right to the seller. They want to see the best, they go to the seller. And that's just to at the end of the show, talk to the people. They'll tell you, we're in from Dublin. We're in from St. Bogway and all that shit. And you're like, wow, wow, we came to see David Talon. You're like, they got David Talon St. Bogway, you know what I mean? So it teaches you that who you're really performing for. And it's nice because that thought is this. I was telling Nick on the way up here, that thought is this. You're at the comedy store. You're staying up at a high at Riot House, next door. And you're in your room and you're like, you know what? Let me go see some comedy. I'm a fan. I really don't know their names. But you do know Sam Kellison. And you do know Eddie Griffin, then you do know Eddie Murphy. And you know Richard Pryard. And you know these particular people. They buy a ticket at the comedy store. 15 bucks to kind of, it comes with a bag of fucking popcorn. They look at the lineup, they don't know nobody on the lineup. Then they sit down and the middle lineup, they say there's a special guest. Richard Pryard. You're from fucking Iowa. The biggest celebrity you see is the chili that mascot for the fucking Triple A baseball thing. You ever go to those games and we're taking a picture with the mascot? I don't even know what it is, it's a fucking mascot. So now they get up afterward. Let me tell you something. Richard Pryard's in the hallway, smoking a cigarette. And they get to take a picture with Richard, even when Richard was around, nobody had cameras in their phones. But you guys understand what I'm saying to you. This is when I think about the consumer. When that guy gets all stage and you go out there and he's, you're going to take a piss and he's out there talking to people and you go over and take a picture with him. Let me tell you what happens at your job Monday. That motherfucker's going to come in there and he ain't going to shut up about LA. But besides Universal City, Mickey Mouseville, San Diego, he's going to go, I had a pretty good time at the comedy store. That was the best. Where Richard Pryard came in. Everybody at Room's going to go, what? Richard Pryard came in on the Tuesday night. I didn't even know he was supposed to be there. Trust me, it's the price of the hell out of me. But the best was he took a picture of me and told me he loved white women. That's it. That's that conversation. Every time they go to dinner from now on when it comes to celebrities, well, I went to LA. That's the impact that you put on these people. So when I go to Austin and I do the first show, I do that for a reason. I want to talk to these people after the first show. It's 250 capacity. It's not like doing 20 to 100 in a theater and they're crying. They're reminding me of a grandfather before he got leukemia and got hit by a car, you know? Because they tell you, you know, so I go down in, I mingle and talk to people. The bars are great. I'll drink a fucking spicy margarita if I have to. Oh, shit. But one, that's it. That's it. I get drunk. I can't do it. But the future, when you understand it as a comic, what these people are doing to come by watching you. Absolutely. And fucking, if you're in New York and they come from Jersey, I mean, you got to drop them off with somebody's mother in law's house, and it's usually the one that you hate as a man. That's when you get there. What are you guys going to do? Comedy. Oh, that. Yeah. That kind of shit. And you got to haul your ass into the city, pay for parking, pay for the tolls, go to dinner, come back to babysitter. They put a lot of effort into a night to watch us do comedy. I mean, yeah, sometimes they walk around and stumble into an open mic and you walk in and, you know, but that's to deal with that. So you always have to think about that. And I actually like it. It makes my night when somebody comes up to me and says, I'm here from Turkey. I look at that motherfucker like, and you came here. I'd be at a fucking Orgy somewhere where you take girls jumping up and down. And so it just makes you learn about the human mind and how people go on vacation. If I'm on vacation, a comedy club is the last thing I was doing. I was too busy snorting coke, snorting ass snorting cheeseburgers. Snorting cheeseburgers is a lie. Oh, yeah. So what else, man? No, you mentioned something. You said that you did some material that's not your favorite, but it worked. So you consider like your favorite material and what's like, what kind of material? What were you like? The material that makes me laugh. Yeah. Gets me excited while I'm doing it, and it's got to be new in that newest room. Okay. I hate doing an old joke because that's the only thing you could think of at the time. Right. You have to figure it back into your set. It works because they probably haven't seen that joke or heard that joke because it's been six years since I did it. Like I had an hour before the pandemic, that was really good. I forgot all of it. I could have taped a special with that material. I had a whole hour chunked up. You know, I forgot what Susan landed here in that fucking Xanax fog and the fucking to move in the hole. Can I forgot it? You know what I said? It's like the book of Enoch. I wasn't getting on stage. I don't tape my sets. I don't tape none of those things, you know, the last thing I want to see is my fat ass up on stage, moving back and forth, y'all and that people. It's really just a voice. Sometimes, you know, you want to Instagram and I pressed the wrong button. Now hear my voice. I can't figure out a way how to turn it off quick enough. It's just the way things are. Some people like looking at themselves. I'm the last motherfucker I want to see and especially here. I'm like that. Listening back to sets. I hate my voice. I don't like that. You sound like a fucking idiot. We all do it. I had a problem for years. I didn't say shit about that. It's like, I don't mean to fucking anybody here or say something on the line. It's like going to a movie that you're in with other comics. You know what I mean? It's like, I got to sit here there watching me. I'm getting the fuck out of here. That's the last thing I want to see. And then let's say you do something stupid in the whole line, let's see it. I don't have one to live through that. So I would go to it for me and take my pictures and shit. And then I'd go into the movie theater and I sat down. I'd get the little free popcorn and whatever. So in here, they'd give you and then the movie would start and I go, well, I got to go to the bathroom. Fuck you. Because I lived next to that Chinese theater. Okay. When I lived in Hollywood, I lived like three blocks away. I would just walk home now and then I'd wait an hour and I'd walk back when the movie ended. Oh my God. It was really tremendous. I'm not sitting through this shit for two hours. I got a spot at the Gawa bars. I'm like, yeah, because you don't want to watch you now. Now you're watching you surrounded with fucking people. I'm going to forget. I took a bunch of my friends on a Friday afternoon to watch analyze that December 6th. something that came. out like before Christmas. I took like my neighbors. They wanted to come. So I was there for the first screening at that, the dull movie theater on sunset. That fucking dumb thing right by Taco Bell or whatever the fuck it is. We get there for the fucking 11 o'clock movie. So I get shot in the first scene. Now we're all sitting there watching at the worst movie we've ever watched before and they're like that was good anymore. I go, no, let's go. And they're like, no, we want to watch the rest of them where we go. Listen, let's get the fuck out of here. Trust me. And that's what I did for that. That's the worst when you get killed in the first fucking scene. And you got to sit there and make believe you enjoy the movie. You didn't even like your fucking partner movie. So I've had that. So just I was thinking about it. What kind of phobia was. And one night I got home early. I'm not doing drugs. And I put on ledim and he has Johnny Depp on it. It was a good looking, well known, respected young man. And it was during pirates, the Caribbean, the first one. I don't know nothing about this shit. But it's Johnny Depp. Maybe I'll say something. And he goes, William, when you were shooting the pirates, did you ever look at the dailies? And he goes, no. And he goes, well, well, well, well. You don't look at dailies. He goes, I don't look at anything that I'm involved. And ledim was like, and I'm at home going, oh shit. I'm not the only person that feels that way. Hey, he's good looking. He could look at his own footage and shit like that. He's like, I don't even go close to it during the premiere. That's why I got the idea. He goes, I go to the beginning. I take a walk, smoke a few cigarettes. And then when the movie empties, I go in. That's why I stole that idea from I thought so happy that somebody else was that way. When people to comics tell me they taped their sets. I'll tape it if you want me to, but I ain't going to listen to it. You want to transcribe it. Go ahead. I'm going to listen to it. So everybody's different. And I love to be that guy at a party, at a Super Bowl party. I have time. He go, oh my god. My comedy reel is in the VHS. How did he get that? And the fun of 20 people he presses it. And he watches it. The people, those people are in hell. Yeah, that's bad comments. People don't know that that you're in fucking hell. You're just making me, this is an assault on my fucking central nervous system that, you know, comics just say that. I know like three of them. There's one of them motherfuckers going to tell me he's going to hit me up. One month, one of these motherfuckers died recently. But he went to a Super Bowl party. He was a teacher. You know, those in the old days in LA, if you were comedian, you thought drive is dead after they got a D. Y. Yeah. It was like 50 bucks a class. So one of the guys that came in and invited him to a Super Bowl party, thinking they got this motherfuck at George, Danny, Matt, Pedro at your house. I'm just going to walk up and put the VHS in while the, you know, the halftime commercials during the halftime commercials. He put it on. And also, he's like, oh my God, who has my tape. And everybody was forced to watch 22 minutes of the worst comedy. I heard it from like eight people throughout my time. They were like, you know, this comic, and I go, I know he put the Super Bowl. And they knew who he was from that fucking day. Not in a good way. They thought he was a fucking. No, yeah. Who would sit there like, oh, this guy's great. The fucking freaky story I ever heard was on this podcast. And it was Stephen Bauer. I mean, me and Lee looked at him like, oh, because I knew exactly he was doing, but at the time, he was young, he didn't know what he was doing. You know, sometimes when you're young, you just think that this is the way I'm going to be seen. So they were at a party. And Oliver Stone was there. Whoever developed the doors movie. So in his mind, Stephen Bauer's life. And I love Steve. He was my neighbor in North Iowa. He's like, you know, I really wanted this role. People have been telling me for years that I resemble him. And I could sing like him and all this shit. So he's at a Christmas party with, you know, we'll smith in the room and all these people. And he decides to actually put on the doors and he gets on top of the table and starts singing. That's cocaine. Cocaine will make you do some fucked up shit. The ego. He never got the role. They gave it to Valkyrie. So one of the barrismen, yeah, man, I think going to a jet game and they lose. Oh my god. You gotta get in the train with the jet. I'm like, he's in there with 10 million other fucking morons. When does it end? It's fucking terrible. When does it end? But that's what, you know, some people think that's groovy. It has to work. So you got to do it slick. There's a way to be slick. And there's a way like he was either refrabricated. That's the word. I'm free. Free. I'm not good with words. Danny Brad. Premeditated. Premeditated. Yeah. That's rough, man. So it's fucked up. That some people would actually do that. I couldn't bring a tape to the dojo. I know one thing I can go guys watch this. You know, I know a guy that's trying to do that on a party with a football highlight. Everybody looked at him and said, no, that's a party going that a lot of you. Let me ask you some page or a few questions. Yes. Young comments. When you got into comedy, what was your motive? What did you think you were going to get from it? Because I'm asking you for me. Right. You know, like me, not I want to know your answer, or compared to what my motives were. I wish I could say, I could sit here and be like, I don't know. You grew up in Northburg, right? Yeah. In high school. Yeah. Yeah. I grew up in North Bergen. Did you, was there any, any comedy influence in that high school? No, man, I just love. They never knew. Nobody knows, nobody talked about. No, they didn't say nothing. They thought I was going to have a career as a standout. Absolutely. They don't say nothing. No, there was not like old Pedro. That was a great joke in class. No, they'd be like, shut up. I was even feel like the fuck is your problem? Stupid. They can make you feel dumb for even saying, but that's why there's no, we're like, you know, where we're from. There's nobody even talked about it. I thought somebody had to pick you like, hey, you look like it could be a comic. Let's teach you how to do comedy. Like I thought there was like that because every time I saw somebody on TV, it was a guy with glasses with crazy hair, I was like, yeah, that's a comic. So I didn't think like, you know, I could Spanish kid could fucking be a comedian. And then I'm fucking, I started watching, I stood, like, I don't know when I was like eight years old. I started, I turned on comedy central because I was curious about it. So I turned on comedy central from there. It took me away, bro. Friday night to stand up. I saw like Greg drawl though for the first time. Ralphie May, premium blend. That's a VH one. Bro, I got into all that shit. My favorite special when I was a kid, Paulo Francisco, that, bro, a ouch. That was, that was a big one. I'm fucking strong, man. Bro, I would see, I would watch him and be like, damn, I'll do anything to be able to fucking have be able to switch voices like that. I thought that was the coolest, funniest thing in the fucking world to be able to do that. I thought that's, that's, that's fucking comedy. That fucking movie voice. Oh, forget about it. The movie guy and all that stuff. And then the Arnold bit into the movie thing. Into the movie thing. Unbelievable. I've been a fan since I was a kid. So let me ask you this. Yeah. Not to interrupt you. What do you think about when you saw people doing premium blend, were they walking down the street and they just walked in there? I thought, like, those people lived walking around LA or New York and walking the street and an agent said, you got the look. Let's go get you. Let's train you how to do this. I didn't know how to do it. I don't know you could fucking go to open. I didn't know so fucking 25 when that when I checked over me at the bar. She's like, yeah, there's an open mic here. I was like, okay, and I fucking wrote jokes for three years. Didn't touch the stage because I was too pussy. And then I did it and one down and I look back, bro. But, uh, I have comedies. Oh, I always been trying to, like, and I had a friend friend, group, bro. If you bombed, like we all, you all had at some, but like, like you used to say, everybody had to be funny. If you said something not funny, everybody would raise their hand like this and punch you in the arm. Yeah, they were trying. Yeah, yeah. It was like that. I got hit the most. I'm not fucking bombed the most dude. That's how it was, man. It's funny. I thought that you just walked down the street and said, I'm coming over to do stand up and you just walk in and somebody, oh my god, is that a camera? Yeah. And you just been in the hour and they said at HBO, that was my knowledge. Yeah. I was standing up comic. It's not till, and even it took me three years to realize four years, what the process really was. But did you ever see yourself on a big stage? Like, you went home at night, you bombed and they goofed on you, your friends. But when you went to sleep and at the end of your tears, you know, that little bomb cried, did you go to yourself? I'm going to show them, I'm going to be the guard someday, you know what I'm saying? And you're like, because we all went through that shit. Yeah. Eight nine beers after a bombing, then you got to go home and look at yourself and live by yourself. And you're like, God damn it. I'm going to show these motherfuckers. I'm going to work at the guard. I never had that. And I just want to, I had such a fucked up life up to that. But I just wanted 10 years of driving in a car. You know, 10 years, just going from city to city, no advertising, just dropping some open mics. Maybe some of you would give me 50 bucks or something. I was prepared for that. Yeah. Like I never saw myself, like that was just a different level of that. So, hey, it's Uncle Joey. I want to talk to you about something. Football season is heating up and every week feels bigger with draft Kings. Draft Kings is now live in all 50 states, Jack. One app, all the football nationwide. Do me a favor, new draft King customers. Sign up with Code Joey, J-O-E-Y. You're going to spend five bucks to get 150 and rewards within 14 days, 155 bucks. Come on, this includes all markets. Again, that's Code Joey. J-O-E-Y in partnership with draft Kings. What a crowd is yours. You got football, you got college, you got everything coming. Draft Kings. Gambling problem called 1-800-Gambler, 1-800-MyReset. Connecticut called 888-789-7777-Visit-CCPG.org. On behalf of Boot Hill, Casino and Kansas, that tax pass through May applying Illinois, 21 and over, void in Canada. Bed with draft Kings sportsbook to get bonus bets that expire in seven days or trade with draft Kings predictions to get predictions dollars that expire in one year. Event contract trading involves risk of loss. Predictions offer void in New York. Non-withdrawable rewards issued as $50 click to claims every seven days for 14 days. Terms at dkng.co/offer, limited time offer. Nationwide based on sportsbook predictions and free-to-play sports contest availability. Very spiced state. But it's so weird, like, what let you know that you could do it? When I got my, when I, my first open mic, when I got a bunch of strangers, I don't know what the fuck I was. And I looked like a, you know, that's fucking, you know, a nice, nice little fucking bomber jacket. You know, these guys were like, you know, comics. And I was there, like, just a new guy, fresh face, optimistic, I set a joke, and it worked. Several jokes worked. And I said, "Oh shit, I could do this shit." I was like, "Oh fuck, I could make a people laugh." And then I got in my car, I cried. 'Cause I said, I found it. I found what I want to do in my fucking life. 'Cause I've been my whole life. Yeah, I'm lost, man. I was fucking letting the fucking, the waves take me, bro. I had no guy, like, I had, like, I had good, I had, I have good parents, good parents. I was in the street, bro. I like, I wanted to be outside. And so, like, I, that's where I wanted to be. Well, you got in the county. What were you getting good at? What job were you getting good at, anything? Anything quite y'all. No, I was in a fucking cubicle, bro. I was in a cubicle, click, click, click, click. What'd you major in college? Accounting. I cheated the whole fucking way. I was going up and the world was computer knowledge. I thought you were like a computer, bro. So, I used to work with rappers and shit, like local rappers. Okay. I used to help produce the music. So, I used to know how to manipulate audio and shit like that and know how to do the programs. And then from there, but I always been like a computer guy. Like, like, I always been like, like, I always played online games, like with the computer. World of Warcraft. Been playing since I was like, fucking, I don't know, high school. Like, shit, like, I always been in tune with technology. I always was good with it. Like, I don't know what it was. I guess because I was old this. So, I had a lot of time with myself. I don't have an older brother and none like that. So, I just fucking, I stayed with myself. I had video games with my shit. I learned how to, I even learned how to fucking take apart blackberries and shit and put them back together. Yeah. I was in a, I was in a, like, I was in a cool kid. I got cool around, like, I started getting, yeah, I started getting pushed here. I started getting pushed here around late 16, early 17. But before that, bro, I was just, I was just good at baseball. And I kept them myself. And I was just like, that's it. Plankilo, smoked weed, but like, I was chill, I was chill. Then after that, once I started, yeah, that's when, that's when North Bergen took a hole in me. 16. (laughing) You know, it's crazy, like, I was stuck and I was like 12, or 13. I just got left back in the seventh grade. I don't say how bad I felt. Yeah. And I just turned on a TV when I was watching college basketball. And they put Michael Corwin's name up in Jersey City. And I remember like shedding a tear like going, if he could do it, I could do it. Yeah. You know, like, you know, you always hear about these success stories from French Flick in Indiana. He was a garbage man, right? When he got discovered, rediscovered Larry Bird. You hear all these stories, but you never heard them from within. You know, we had Danny Calon, Joe, I was great, but they ain't nothing like seeing somebody from Jersey City in the semi finals of the NCAA's, starting as a fucking freshman. You were the only one, you were the guy when I was growing up that made it out of the fucking hood. You were watching me early. Oh, Joey, yeah, dog. And when I came, you know, I was some not very good. I knew all of it. I know you find out, brother. I've been a comedy fan for eight years old. So I naturally always know who you were. Testicle testaments. I didn't know. Yeah, brother. I've been a fan since I was, it's not for a long, very long time, dog. What did you think when you're like, you some not very good? He's me. Yeah. That's what I fucking thought. That's why you could do it. I could fucking do it. That's it. I started doing it because of your cocksucker. No comedy from this area. Because I don't even know the only guy talked to comedy about growing up was George. Yeah. George was hip to comedy and I would ask him creepy questions, but he was more of a movie buff guy. And I was the comedy, not really. I was not a comedy guy. I did not even comedy never entered my mind until I saw splash. Yeah. I kind of knew that John Candy was a comic. But the CM on film was beautiful. And then I knew about Robin Williams and I knew about, I, I loved Richard prior since I say I was probably nine or eight of my mother's bar in Union City. We used to go to this kids house, Dumbuggy and fucking me and his nephew bought like a beat a lot. Mike, the yellow submarine and he was a heroin dude. It's true fucking story. He's a heroin dude. He's not in George. He's got the cigarette in the one hand yikes and we walking his house and that's my old the brother. He's fucked up. Don't listen to him. So for like 20 minutes, we were listening to the, you know, we all live in the yellow submarine and also the brother. I was out of that heroin high. I think the cigarette burnt his finger or something. He's like, what are you motherfuckers listening to and we're like, the Beatles, we're all proud of us. Get that shit off. I know we got it. And he put on Richard prior was it something I said and I was blown the fuck away. I went home. I don't even think I told anybody. I got money on my piggy bank the next day and I want somebody I'm burying line somewhere and I picked up that one out and then like a week later, vice and tenio or whatever came out and I picked that one out and I was sitting my room like an idiot listening to these out was religiously and mimicking his jokes like that was it. I loved Richard prior. I was introduced by George Collins, but prior was more me. I'm not as smart as George Collins would try to be as smart as George Collins, but prior was speaking my language, dick sucked in cocaine, you know, fucking goofing on Dracula when you're high. So I followed him and I went to see the movie and but I never slum myself or thought about myself doing stand up and no capacity at all throughout the years. I knew I said stupid shit because I was crazy to make people laugh and but then when I went to prison, like four months in, I went to a camp and that's where, you know, it was just like I was in the kitchen, so I was always talking to a crowd of people and then one night the fucking projector broke during some old, you know, they had like eight movies and they replay them. PT 109. I could recite that fucking movie, okay? Every Monday it was a Wednesday was PT 109 or like out of the eight movies, six of them were black and white. That was the library of the prison. And they had them on like not even VHS, the real to real, then the camera would break. And one night one of the black guys that was orange, I can't remember what his name was from the kitchen. He goes Cuba. Go up there and talk about that nonsense you were talking about today. I don't even remember what it was. I just went on a tangent about tomatoes or something. It's amazing. All those black guys were laughing. I went up there and I tried to tangent and I fell on my face with it. But then I decided just to roast each different guy and it worked. So every Wednesday they would go, before the movie comes on, our man Cuba is going to go up there and say something and I recapped a week in the prison. This motherfucker thought 25 pounds is heavy. Look at him now. He's got stitches. You know, just a bunch of shit and there was this one nerdy motherfucker. That I went to the library every day after my job was over at eight. I'd run to the library to read the paper So I would go to early and never set a word to me for about three months But then a black guy started going in after the kitchen and I would go chicken hawk I'll meet you in there. You chicken. That was his name chicken hawk And I would meet chicken hawk in the library and then one day the guy busted and we started talking every day I started bringing coffee over I used to bring him like stolen Coffee's whatever it was need to love that shit. Can you bring me tea? Can you get me honey? How did that happen? I would bring them honey So I had the library, you know, and it was just me and Antoine and we go in and talk shit and one day He goes I've been watching you for a long time He goes you're a funny guy Or something he was saying to me and then he goes hold on one second. I have something for you And he had a notebook one of those old school notebooks and he goes that's for you in a pen Wow, you could write your jokes and then I go dog I don't write because What do you mean you you go up there and goof on the people? Yeah, I don't know nothing about stand-up comedy I don't know. I don't know. I just go up there with the week's event Process them in my head and go torture each different inmate Every week and I never got beat up. They loved it. Listen. There's one thing about African-Americans aka blacks aka youngs if you keep it fucking clean You could destroy them and they'll love it You're called fat black This that and they'll be slapping their fucking ankles feet goes up in the air It's when you get in that danger territory as you would with anybody whether the Chinese Cuban Puerto Rican Jewish It's the same thing, but African-Americans on a whole love to be tortured In a comedy rule. They think that's the best thing in the world. So I would talk about them And they loved it, but this white guy gave me that notebook and he said that to me and I go yeah I don't I don't have jokes or anything. He started thinking about it for a minute And he's like I'm gonna get out of here in like three years And he goes I'm gonna check on you. I mean I don't understand that. I'm gonna basically slit your neck Just a little nerdy guy that used to roll his cigarettes and shit Dude so so when you were when you were doing that when you were roasting everybody on on the little stage You didn't realize you're doing stand-up. No, you were just like a stand-up to me. It was roasting big difference You look at this motherfucker Jerry curl. Well, I do the black guy at the comedy club Alex. Well Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it. You keep it. What's going on with your natural? Because when they know that you know the terminology yeah for their lingo Don't you read jet magazine show me one picture of black guy that's got your fucking add-to They go nuts. They go nuts. That's what I'm saying keeping it clean about their fucking half rows That was my way in and then from there they had a jiggle tooth or a gold tooth and you just attacked that shit You know what I'm saying and that's what I did So then right before I was checking out he told me that he's gonna kill me But I asked Antoine the kitchen. Hey, man. What the library and do he's so cool goes I'm gonna fucking kill this wife and the mail man. Oh He shot him both and the dog he shot every holy shit. He shot everything in the house. They gave him like 30 years 30 years on the job of the library. He was like 50. He was young 25 26 when he went in I never asked him but they were like yeah He went home one day for lunch. He was fucking the mail man. He went in his truck came in and shot everybody You can push a man so fucking long, you know God Lee and he meant that shit done me said that. Yeah, you look at his eye like he was like I knew he wasn't joking You know when somebody's there joking with you, so yeah, we're checking with you, huh? Yeah, we're checking with you No, I never heard from me. God. I'd be dead. Yeah, you know He probably helped me down for a percentage at this girl. Yeah, that's it. He's the manager 15% Who's so weird? It was my little stent in there, but then like Pedro I Came out in 89 I kept telling myself and then no, no, no, something weird happened on the way to dance. I got a job with my brother-in-law's roofing And the first January I worked with them. It snowed for a whole week. You couldn't roof. We were the commercial roofers So I had to stay in and watch movies and that movie that day on HBO was about punchline And when I got up from that went right in the other pages and I hunted down the comedy clubs in the area And I called off three or four of my remember and they're like we don't do that here we have an open mic 90 on Tuesdays. You have to call on the week before and That took me about six months and then I was actually working for my brother-in-law in the field and They sent me for coffee when they had snowed. I got there because I was nested made I didn't even go on the route towards the end. I was just getting there and bringing supplies to them They go broke and you get some coffee and some green chill and I go, yeah And I went into this place and the Rocky Mountain Post was on the counter. I always said the dying of that I would eat my food and I get there all the go. I'm not eating outside like an animal like them Fuck that. I would sit nice and warm take my scarf off But this is what God came in. There was a Rocky Mountain news And I opened it and just went like that to the middle and right there is how to be a stand-up comic Because Rosanna just blown up in Denver maybe a year before I Got on stage. So Andy Payton He was on the cover that I remember reading the whole thing twice And they offered classes, but they said the best class with University Colorado on Sunday It was 33 bucks. The joy still remember to teach his name Jeff harms. He lives in Florida now. He does cruise ships Nice. So three weeks and then he pulled me aside and he goes I think you got a career in this Let me get you a job. He got me a job as a dormant and in a comedy club Then I became the DJ and the MC and then I became the bar back in that bitch Well, I asked him if I go on stage. He says you can't perform here and have a job here So I quit a week later I went to the comedy works. I kept calling the comedy works, but I kept chickening out Every time Tuesday came I call him and say my cat got hit by a car or It was always something and one day My ex-wife heard me And fucking My ex-wife heard me And she actually hid the babysitting She took my daughter to her mother's When I got home that night she goes I'm able to drive you from there. I wasn't gonna go surprise - there's like surprise Yeah, when I walked in and then she goes get dressed. I'm taking you to Denver She could be open mic and I'm like, what are you talking about? She goes I put the baby and my mother's house. We got a date night and I went to Denver and did my first three minutes with her. I'm gonna ship my fucking pants. You're nervous? Fuck yeah Fuck yeah, but once I got up that felt real comfortable eight seconds in I was home Yeah, I was a little mumbling words and I did my three minutes and when I got off the club mat owner was there And he told me he coming back. You have great presence Then some kick goes. No tomorrow night. I got a gig for you It's up in for the Broncos. I was like, oh shit It was like the rookies and stuff like that. So it was still a gig and then you know, I want to ask you a question after gigs Once you go into your bed at night, you're ready to lay down as you're taking off your stinky socks and shits You said yourself what the fuck made me go up on state I don't know man I guess I was just a weird kid, bro. I don't know. I never found I never clinked to something I played football baseball jujitsu I boxed it. I did everything. I did everything and nothing clunked nothing. I know there's nothing I could Ah, I love this. I clunked to nothing made my heart beat right off the bat, right? You got a job doing some everybody's nice to first week Nobody calls your fucking idiot Yeah, okay. I think I'll be a cook the rest of my life than two days later. Everybody's a scumbag Yeah, or you just don't like it. That was the story of my life I always went into a job excited after three days. I'm counting out I'm like seven hours seven hours seven hours. That's 21 times fucking ten. I must will steal for a living right I'm doing a lot better out there robin drug dealers than I am with a fucking job You know dig in a trance like fucking So that's why jobs didn't work out for me. Well, I did comedy It hit my central nervous system like like I went I remember in the car going How am I gonna pull this off? How am I gonna fit this into my fucking life that I got to go tell my wife and this six-month-old This 18-month-old kid that I want to start going on the road Start going out for nights a week, which I already have a drug problem and a half There's just gonna fuel it. How am I gonna pull this off? That was July 91 September. November 91, I came home, I spent a week with George, I got this car, and they gave me a police car. So I take George to cop in the city and everybody would run away and shit. And I came back and I think I did comedy one night when I was here. Something didn't feel right. I went home. I started doing some comedy one day. I was at work and I was just in bold, like, oh, let me stop at the house. See if my wife is doing it when I walked in, she had a piece of paper in her hand. She's like, you took a loan out without telling me, I go, yeah, I paid that loan off a week after I took it out. Yeah, but where's the love you're supposed to tell me blah blah blah. And she looked at me, she goes, I think I want to get separated and move with my mother and I tell you, I'll never forget that day because part of me was fucking about to jump out of window. I was so happy. I just was sad. But my daughter, she was going to go through this. I didn't know. Maybe we would rekindle it, but I knew it was too late. She had seen behind the curtain and she was done. This was not a happy relationship for her. You know, I was sad, but man, I got a second chance to do what I wanted to do. And I'm like, you know what? This is definitely on the agenda now. This wouldn't happen if God didn't want me to do it. Exactly. Or Houdini or the universe, somebody fucking played the cards here, whatever, when they do the fucking puppeteer, the great puppeteer in the sky said, it's just falling in your lap now. Whether you do it or not, that's your decision. But you have no excuse. And that ate at me. And but that night, I remember looking at the paper and bolder. And there was a comedy contest. It all happened like, like fucking, it is when you're supposed to do something. That's how it happened. I got into the contest. And two months later, I won the amateur contest. But backstay gave me two grand. And I got the hosting job. I made them fire the magician with the pigeon that would fly because all those open mics out there, they got a guy with a bird that, you know, he gets stuck in the lights and shit. And he's got to go. This ain't the ASPCA. This ain't little fucking circus here. This is stand-up fucking comedy. Why is that guy having a bird up there? You know, you want to put a hit that's his stand or bird once a month. That's your business. Yeah. I'm a lot around. I don't want to see no fucking birds. This is stand-up motherfucking comedy, Jack. Bye. So it took you three years to get out and stay. Three years, man. I was shook, scared. After the first year, what did you feel? Regret. And I said, if I keep doing it, oh, well, first year of comedy or first year waiting. After the first year of comedy? Oh, first year of comedy. Oh, shit. That's why. I felt like I was doing the right thing because I felt like I felt like I was accomplishing something and getting better at something I really love because I never, like I said, like nothing, never, I never really loved anything like a love stand-up. I always loved it when I was a kid, but I like, like I mentioned, I thought you had to get chosen for that. I didn't know you could actually try to pursue it. I didn't know what an open mic was until I heard, you know, when I was 25. I don't know what an open mic was. I thought rappers only go because I knew that. I knew rappers did open mics. They'd wrap in front of four people. They clapped two or two girlfriends with sideways hats and shit. Like that, I knew, but I didn't know you could do that for comedy. So we know the process. I know it. Not at all, dude. I didn't know the processing. I chased the process. That was my main question to comics that have been doing it. Yeah. I want to know the process. It took me from July of '91 to like maybe August of '93 when I saw Legosamo at a small theater really understand the process and how, for the time being, this is how I was going to work it. 30 sets a month. Don't look back. Keep writing. Keep going on stage. Yeah, you're going to have a day job. Just the way life is. And that's the plan I stuck to. Was it a lot of a lot of the way, I want to fucking keep keep, you know, low smoke up up here. But bro, a lot of the a lot of the way I do things, the way I write and stuff like that, I establish a structure early on. It's because listening to you. Yeah, that's right. You gotta sit there. Yeah. But then I figured out how to make that time even more valuable. Right. To the sitting there waiting for a thought to pop into your fucking head. No, I'll write something. I write about what me and George used to walk out of the ground round. Never pay a tab. I write a story like that. I write when I go to judicial class, but loosening up that muscle will help you go, Oh, shit. Oh, shit. There we go. We're on to something. For years, I sat there and then it becomes boring and then you don't do it. You, you, you, you depend too much on the stage. And that's what I did for a while. Once I started putting it together, it really helped. Like I'm reading my book again, because I don't remember no more stories. I told that last story and I was done. Now I don't remember shit. I always go out when I'm on stage. I'll tell a story. It's great, but I don't remember another. They all fucking bands. That's it. So the journey is interesting. The movement is interesting. After three years, what were you failing? What am I doing? That's what I was feeling. Like I love doing this, but nothing's happening. But I said, fuck it. I just kept bearing down and not going to lie. A lot of support from the outside too. Now once you get into comedy, you do get support from a lot of people. Yeah. What's the big picture for you? What do you, where's your ending spot? It's gonna sound weird. No, television show. No, no, no. I just want to be happy. I just want to be the funniest. I just want to be as funny as I can fucking be. I just want to be known for being good at this, at this craft. That was very important to me. I didn't want to be a YouTuber. No. I didn't want to go on last night standing or whatever. Fuck it is. Yes. Comic standing. I didn't want to do it up this way. I wanted to always have the backing because from doing TV shows, I learned that like I can't stand one of my pet peeves. It's like when you're talking about standing up comedy and some woman ago. You know who's funny? Joey from some suck my dick show on CBS. And you're like, first of all, lady, get the fuck out of my face. Number two, you can't compare apples and oranges with a real deal. We go up there by ourselves. We're not even in an improv truth. What we do is beyond television because there's no director. There's no producer. There's no cut. There's no redo. So when you're in front of a real audience, this is it motherfuckers and all those titles people take. We take them all. We don't even know. We're directors. We know how to direct the fucking set. We're writers and we produce our own fucking show. What else do I got to do for you, motherfucker? If you're an improv truth, it's you and five other guys switching chairs and you know, all that shit. Oh my god, get the fuck out of here. That's hobby comedy. You know, when you're in a set, those idiots that you see stand around, they get paid extra to laugh to give that stupid comedic act to comedy chops. Grab that motherfucker and bring him down to the comedy store, watch him pee his pants and shoot his cell in there in eight minutes. That's the confidence I come from. When you were standing up, you could do anything. I don't give a fuck what played that from front of you because you've done it all and you're up there by yourself, which is the greatest gift God could ever give you, knowing what it feels like to be by yourself with a brick wall behind you. Like you're about to get asked what cigarette do you smoke? You about to get shot at a lot of fucking the same similarities. When they shoot you, when they give you a cigarette and put your forgets the wall, it'll turn you around. They shoot you right to your face. Fire, blah, blah, same thing. You're going up there to get fired. So that's where my fucking courage comes from. That's where your courage comes from. And then the other fucking stand up comment. So one thing you can vouch for is you know, like that old Cuban thing, I came out of my mother's pussy alone. I thought, oh, you're eating a little while. He sold on my way. Same fucking thing. You're by yourself, motherfucker. And that's what these comedic acts. How many times you've been upset? Let's do that again. You mean to tell me at the 28th take, it's funny in the first take. Listen, it wasn't even funny the first time. The whole line ain't fucking funny. Which is getting duped into it. And that's where my confidence comes to stand up. That's what we could do. You got to hone it. You got to hone little pieces of yourself. It might take for some people, it takes two years. And for some people, it takes 15. I'm happy. It took me 20 years because there ain't no turning back when you show up with your bullshit. I show you with this, motherfucker. What can we do on stage? You want to do it on fucking stage? Like little kids? No. But you understand you got 20 years of experience. And this isn't getting on stage twice in front of your relatives. Oh my god. You're doing an open mind with 16 of your fucking coworkers coming. This is night after night at at the Communist store, at the stand, at fucking Julie's pants. They don't even have a microphone, you know what I'm saying? They look at it how many times you show up, they got no microphone, what do you do? You go home, you deal with it, motherfucker. You raise your fucking decimals and get them out. It's the same thing, I'm very proud. And I've always been very proud to be a stand-up comic. I'm very proud about the work I put in it, to sacrifice, forget it. I did everything except sucker dick that could take in the ass, everything, right? You sleep on the floor backwards, this guy gives you a bed for the night. There's a window open, crack addicts, look through the hole at night. Hey, you there, you know, it's a free bed. It's a free fucking bed, you know, some comics are broke. Well, I say broke, there was none in the ATM machine. There was no bank account. What was in this front pocket was it? No mommy, no daddy, you know, again, that's all the shit you need is a stand-up comic. You have great supporter on you, I had George all those years, had great support of him. But George didn't go on stage with me and play the drums. I went up there solo. So this is where your pride comes from. And once you have that pride, you could do whatever the fuck you want. Takes a while to sink in. By the way, I didn't write this. I heard Roseanne yell at the guy one night on TV. She interviewed him and he goes, "Why did you throw all the writers out and didn't let none of the staff into your Christmas party?" In 2000, whatever, when she knocked out the Cosby's and she said, "Because fuck them." I went and hired all my friends. And the writers I thought that were funny and brought them in and we got to number one. Now with the shit they were supplying. And then she told the same spiel. We're producers, we're directors, we're writers, we're directors, we're everything. Then she wanted to say that Oprah put a gaming device in the neck to steal our ideas. It was like, okay, there's G A going on in my brain. We got to end this, but think about that thing. And then a well-known fighter once told me, Vinnie Curtis said, be proud of what you do. Everybody else gets a cut and they cut over it and they do this. You guys go up there and this is it. It's like boxing. You get to do all the cardio kicking you want. Cardio, Taekwondo, then you go to Starbucks and tell your wife friends. Yeah, I just came from cardio kickboxing. You've been punching a little fucking bag with a trainer called Almondo. Yeah. You know what the fuck is wrong with you? You guys name him from Thailand. His name is Almondo. He got a ponytail. Yeah, he's the fucking Kingsburg. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. What do you think, God? I think I think I think it's very important to go after it, man. With everything that's what I think, because this is the only thing you're focused on. That's it. You got it. You're doing the thing I have focused on. I didn't give a fuck about the world. I didn't give a fuck who was getting bombed as long as this area here. I can't poke a ride. He was good. Yeah. My world. So I fucking matters. You know what I thought when I first found when I started my first foul comedy, I said, oh, shit, all right. I found, I found it. No girl could ever fucking get to me, bro. She could leave and be like, fuck, I got an open mic tonight. I got an open mic. Oh, that's the one relief that gave me. If something good happens, you could talk about it and have something bad happens. You could talk about it. It's up to you. Yeah. I just came home and caught my wife blowing a midget. I don't even know what I'm doing here, but I want to get it off my mind. The first few years of comedy was me on an argument on the phone screaming, you fucking bitch, fuck you, bro. To my ex. Where were the fun? On the phone. No, no, no, on the stage, no, no, no, no, outside of the venue. I knew you would come up to me. I'm like, you pull the Vinny Bradge. That was my first, that was my first Vinny Bradpover. No, no, no, you know, fucking arguing outside and then fucking walking right in and going to stand up. That was the first few years. And you know what? Never bothered me. No, it helped. And never bothered me. It's good to get a little annoyed. Why do you think I bring talk to you? Yeah, the road. He always gets me a little annoying push, that last push when I go on the stage. Everybody else is eating lobster tail. He's over there. This week. Potatoes. Right. Oh my God. By the way, joys are available for parties and bands, so you want somebody to go there and just get under your skin and torment you. So it's just a man, four, four, four, four, four, four, holy shit, we got any dates this week. I'll be at the dojo with you Wednesday. Wednesday night. We're at the dojo. And next Wednesday, the 30th, we're at the Brooklyn improv, special guest, that type of shit. And then I got the regular Chicago comedy festival Riverside Theater in Wisconsin. Yeah. Milwaukee, Wisconsin on the seventh. And we got fucking my show on the 17th in Austin. And then we've got the kick off the Thanksgiving. What's the name of the casino? Yeah. Park, just park, just park. And Philadelphia going home bitches to get some real cheese steaks. Not those artificial Cuban steaks for the last week. Worst cheese steak, I believe the lady made a mistake, but George, you were talking about the cheese cake all fucking there, right? Anyway, I love you guys. Let's welcome Pedro to the family. Thank you guys. Danny Brad to the family. Max has always been family. And you know about George already, but we got a crack team. We got guests next week, and this fucking train is going to keep rolling. I love you guys. Watch your asshole and have a great week.