What Building a Healthy Self Image Looks Like

did you know that you can have unshakable self-confidence i'm sherry brazier i'm an advanced certified style coach personal wardrobe stylist and seasoned hairstylist i'm on a mission to teach women everywhere to see their true value and create self-confidence on the inside and then help you dress that way on the outside women just like you are creating strategies to dress your body shape stylishly tools you can use to help you love yourself and process disappointment and overwhelm all while still looking put together when you leave the house if you're ready to figure out your personal style and learn the tools to help you build and create more self-confidence then you are in the right place let's get started hello my friends welcome to the podcast this week so glad you're here today i would like to talk to you about an experience that i had this week with grief and my self-image last week i told you that i would be probably talking about grief more just because that's what i'm going through right now and i'm watching myself grieve i'm watching what you're going through right now and i'm watching what you're going through right now and i'm watching kind of happens and how how that looks for me and in also in last week's episode i i told you that i just haven't really been expecting myself to do much i haven't been really expecting much of myself i just kind of do what i need to do and whatever energy i have i go with whatever it is i need to do with the energy that i have and when my energy's done it's done and i just end the day and i've been really focusing on trying to get good sleep and good nutrition so that i can support my body as it's going through all of these emotions and one of the things that is a self-care thing for me is spending time with my sister and our friend and the three of us are like the three musketeers and we pal around all the time together and we really love taco tuesday so we have tacos on tuesdays as much as we can and i do hair and so when either one of them come to get their hair done the other one tries to come and we have some time together there and we decided that we wanted to get together once a month and do something scheduled that we can do together and we decided in december that we were going to do pedicures so we went and had pedicures together and and i brought some snacks for us to eat while we were having our pedicures and we visited and and it was such a great time and we loved it and we decided that we needed to do something like that every month and so for january we scheduled massages and i am not one who gets a massage ever i have had three now in my life um several years ago i met a girl that was in my same industry and she did eyelashes eyelash extensions and she also did some hot stone massages so after i had gone to her to have my eyelashes done i was like oh my god i'm going to do this i'm going to do this i'm going to have my eyelashes done for a while maybe even a year she had talked to me about massage and so i thought you know maybe i'll maybe i'll try a hot stone massage i'd never had one before and i was a little bit reluctant but i'd known her for a while and i trusted her and so i decided to do it so i did a hot stone massage from her and it was amazing and i loved it and it was so good and i just appreciated it and it was great and then i never had another massage after that and i've never i never had had like an actual real deep tissue or any other kind of massage and probably summer last year later summer maybe even july august i was at a networking event and i met a woman at this networking event that was a massage therapist and she she and i got visiting and and talking about her business and my business and um you know just as you do at a networking event and she offered to give me a coupon for a massage and so i thought i'll take her up on it i you know i liked the things that she was doing and i was like oh my god i'm going to that she was saying and that she was talking about and so i thought yeah i'll give her a shot and she gave me a discounted price for a for a massage and and i i really wanted to support her and her business because that is really important to me as a hairstylist i try to support other hairstylists the best i can and i have been the beneficiary of lots of support from other stylists and so that's just one of the things i've been doing for a long time and i've been i'd like to do to give back and so i wanted to support her and her business and so i thought this would work for both of us so i scheduled an appointment and i went in and had a massage from her and it was it was awesome it felt great i i don't have a great back my back has been something that i've struggled with my whole life i injured it when i was 11 and it just is the the place on my body that just gets all the things when i get stressed my back goes out and it just is one of the things i've dealt with for a long time and so she really focused on and worked on my back and did some essential oils and some energy clearing and all of that kind of thing and i just thought that it was great and i had a great experience it was it was great and when my friend suggested that we do massages for this month for our little sister's outing i thought that would be great i would love to have an actual real traditional massage and i noticed that i had a little bit of resistance and i was reluctant and i because i'm in you know the space that i'm in that i've been working on myself for such a long time and specifically my self-image and the thoughts that i have in my brain about myself i've been working in that area for lots of years and i've been working on myself for such a long time and i've noticed that i had some resistance in my body about doing massages and i thought that was interesting because i've had a couple this isn't the first time that i had had a massage but it was you know i've had different kinds and i knew that this this one would be different than i'd had before and so i just noticed that i had some resistance coming up in my body about the massages and i thought that's interesting so as the date got closer i started to think about getting closer um i found myself getting excited about going to have this massage and so we get there to the the day of the massage and we and we are checking in and uh the girl it turns out that was doing my massage is um somebody that i know which i didn't realize that when i booked it but when i got there i realized that it was um one of my son's friends and um that was kind of fun for me that she was the one that was going to be doing my massage so i was excited about that so i'm i'm in the middle of this massage and i can tell that i mean i know that i'm that i'm stressed i know that there's tension i have a lot of things going on right now in my life and i knew that i had tension i knew that my back was having some issues and my shoulders and my neck were were tense and tight and that was one of the main reasons why i was excited about going to this massage because i have been under a lot of stress and i could tell as she was massaging that that was starting to relax and i was just really enjoying this massage and i and i had the thought people that are grieving need to have massages that's something that they need a person that's grieving could really benefit from a massage and then i thought what what is different about me being able to have a massage now and not being interested or able to do a massage 10 years ago because i've had lots of people that have that have suggested for me to get massages with my back issues over the years you need to have a massage. You need to go to a massage therapist. You need to find a good massage therapist, a massage, a massage, a massage. I've been told hundreds of times that that's what I need. I do have a chiropractor and I go to the chiropractor regularly and he is amazing and does wonderful things so that I can move. But I've had lots of people tell me that I need to do a massage and I have not ever wanted to do that. It has felt vulnerable and scary and I've never wanted to do that. So as I'm laying there completely comfortable and enjoying myself so much, I thought, what is the difference? Why am I being able to do this now? And I don't have any reservations. And I remembered in that moment that when we were talking about it, I did have some reservations. I did have some resistance. And so I was remembering that and I was just pondering because if you've never had a massage, it's really quiet. It's dark-ish and there's soft music playing. The smells are very soothing and relaxing. And it, for me, really slowed down my brain, which I was grateful for. That was a pleasant surprise that my brain was slower because my brain is not slow. So as I was laying there and thinking about it, I, I thought it's because I have worked so hard and intentionally on my self-image. And that is why I am able to be here on this bed, having this massage and not having any reservations and not being anxious, not being embarrassed or awkward, not having any of those things. It's because I've worked so hard on my self-image. I have a different, healthier self-image. And I'm more confident in myself. I'm more confident in my ability to process emotions and to manage my thoughts. And that was a really big light bulb that there are things, lots of things that we don't engage in or allow ourselves to participate in because we don't have a good self-image. We don't think we're worthy or we're too vulnerable because we have, we have insecurities about ourselves. And I was laying there thinking of all of the massages that I could have had. My back has not felt this good in a long time. And I have some shoulder issues as well, because I do hair and my shoulders have not hurt since. I just feel like that massage was so needed. And I, I think all of the pain, physical pain that I have endured because I didn't do a massage. I didn't want to do a massage. I felt too embarrassed. And it was because of my weight. I was heavy and I was embarrassed of my body. And so I didn't want to have a massage. I didn't want anyone touching my body or seeing my body. And I was just so shameful of my body. And I did not have a good self-image of myself. And I thought I was unworthy. I did. I thought I'm, I'm heavy. I'm overweight. I don't deserve to have a massage. I don't deserve to have luxury like that because I'm overweight. Those are the things that I thought. And so I would not allow myself to have that experience. And as I laid on the bed and had the massage last week, it was like a explosion in my brain and actually an explosion in my heart. And I felt proud of myself for the work I've done on myself. I felt compassion for my past self that felt shamed and unworthy to give herself the things that she needed. And I felt compassion for those of you who might relate to the way that I've been doing this. And I felt determined to get a message out about self-image and that you are worthy to give yourself what you need. And it's not going to come, that worthiness is not going to come from someone else. Someone else is not going to give you self-image. But if I could give you something, I would give you permission to work on your self-image. It is a process. It is work. I will tell you that it is work, but it is the best work that I have done for myself. And laying there, having that massage, was a pretty impactful moment for me. And it spurred a passion to help other people, help other women especially, to grow their self-image, to work on developing a healthier, self-image. And being able to then have them feel worthy is the greatest feeling that I think I could ever have. Because I, I don't feel proud of myself very often. And that's going to change this year. I'm going to get better. I'm going to get to give myself permission to be proud of myself for the work I've done. And for the work I want to do on myself and in the world. Because that grows your self-image in a healthy way. Because the way that you see yourself impacts every single aspect of your life. It, there's not one thing that isn't impacted by the way that you see yourself. The way you see yourself is how you show up in the world. And it is, it's a big deal. It's important. So grief and massages. That was this week. That was my aha moment. I had a breakthrough with my grief. And I had a breakthrough with my self-image. All having a massage. And that is pretty cool. That's pretty fantastic. So how do you feel about self-image? Have you ever thought about it? Self-confidence, we've talked about a lot on this podcast. It's in the name. So we've talked about it a lot. But what about self-image? Because confidence is your ability to do something. But self-image is what you actually think about yourself, your worthiness. What do you feel like you're worthy of? So what do you think about your self-image? And are you grieving right now? Because if you're grieving, grieving the loss of a job, a loved one, maybe the way that you thought your life would be, maybe the way you thought your kids' lives would be, and maybe you are feeling some grief or loss. Let me know. We can go through it together. If you would like the grief support mini course, get on my email list. Go to sherrybrazier.com and put in your email to get the style basics. All the things get on my email list. You'll get reminders, of the podcasts. You'll get information and tips on style and developing a healthy self-image. And one of my favorite recipes that I made this week, because I love to cook. That's kind of my guilty pleasure. You'll get all of that in my life and style edit. And it goes out every week. So get on my email list. That's what I have for you guys this week. Grief and massages. Who's in? Who's going to process grief with me and who's going to go get a massage? I support both of them. So come over to Instagram and send me a DM and tell me if you're grieving or what you think about self-image or if you're going to go have a massage. I would love to know. All right, you guys, that's it for this week. See you next time. Hey there, do you want help right now creating your own personal style? I got you. Go to my website right now at sherrybrazier.com and grab the style basics every woman should have in her closet guide. It's right on the front page of my website. Just put your name and your email address right there and I will send you a document that's a checklist of the basics that every woman needs in her closet. This will help you get started creating your own personal style now. It will give you the ideas of what you need to look for in your own closet. And then if you don't have those things, I'll tell you what to look for when you go shopping. So go to my website sherrybrazier.com and grab that guide now.