Thank you to Quince for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Let me tell you the seasons are changing. It's starting to be time that we can get out our denims again. We can get out our sweaters and there is no better place than Quince. So many of the things I'm constantly reaching for in my closet to layer up, dress up, dress down, come from Quince because they have very, very high quality products. I'm talking 100% Mongolian cashmere. They have silk organic cotton wool. They have those premium fabrics but at an amazing price. Everything at Quince is actually priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands and that is because they work directly with ethical factories, hunting out the middle man. So you're paying for high quality, not brand markup. Actually just last night Matt was telling me that he grabbed his shorts. I don't fit my clothes. I've been hitting the gym and so I need new clothes. He bought me Quince swim trunks that are really high quality. I wear them all the time when we go on the pool with the boys. I'm excited to see which he picks out from Quince for me next. You're nice khaki shorts are from Quince. With the khaki that I wear like literally every day. Yep those are from Quince. You don't even know where your clothes are from but if you had to guess they're probably from Quince because I love shopping their min section as well for Matt. You can wear them in many different ways for many different seasons. Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to Quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks you where you heard about them, let them know that unplanned sent you. It's the best way to support the show. I was in the car when it happened and I got out. I saw him and I'm just terrible. And I just told Isaac I was like don't look. Just get out the other door. You gotta go. You're freaking four and you have to tell your sibling like hey don't go out this door. Yeah. Just like no four-year-old should have to experience that. Yeah. The hardest part for me as I've grown up was how little he was acknowledged. Honestly I think that has more to do with my parents' divorce than the show. Not talking about the hardest thing in our childhood. Can't imagine how that affect my parents. Today on unplanned we sat down with Lydia Plath Wise and her husband Zach from Welcome to Plathville. The TLC series documenting two parents raising their nine kids on an isolated farm in Georgia. They met, dated, engaged, and got married all within six months while saving their first kiss for marriage. But there's a deeper part of Lydia's story that she rarely opens up about publicly. In 2008 her 17-month-old brother Joshua was accidentally run over on their family farm. In addition to that we talk about behind the scenes of filming a reality TV show, the rumors about Lydia's husband Zach and so much more all on today's episode. I feel like America was fascinated by your family for a number of reasons. Yeah like the way you live was just your rod up was just totally different from I would say like the average American child experience. Talk about that a little bit. Yeah I'm come from a family of nine kids grew up on a farm in South Georgia and when I was 15 we started on a TV show called Welcome to Plathville and to this day I still don't know how I'm in this place I am in now and just trying to make the most of it and married the best man in the world nine months ago. Zach Wise. Therefore I am Lydia Wise now. Still getting used to it. When you guys met each other had you ever seen the show? No. That was very important to me because if he would have seen the show just dating in general anyone who had seen the show like I would have a hundred questions a thousand questions. So Zach not knowing who the show what anything about the show who I am and he liked that like none of this family followed me like nothing just genuine raw us and I told him about it later. So that was a fear of yours because you didn't want some creepy stalker to like find you and try to meet you. Yeah there have been. There have been it. When you put it that way. Yes. I will count to one question or someone else in the family but there have been instances where come to find out they've been watching the show for a long time. Wait that's a creepy. So yeah how did you vet him? Was there like a questionnaire he filled out like a google form? So these questions there. But yeah. So we've gotten to this point of our relationship. Just in general like if they've watched the show and seen every season and followed all the things then then they already know me and now it's like hard to like genuinely like both of us get to know each other on the same level because they already know everything about me supposedly and like but half of it's out of context or all these things. So it's just like starting from scratch. Both of us don't know anything about each other. I think it's also like his too. He knows everything about my life. That makes sense. I think it goes through intention too. Like I think if I knew all this stuff about her it's like our kind of intentions as yeah what is your intention here? Like do you actually think I'm a cool person or do you think being in a public eye is cool? Like explain yourself. So then you knew that there's no inclination of him wanting fame out of this. There was still no motive. No motives of that. Has that happened before? Has there been not really to me? Not to you. But maybe to someone else and the family? Yeah maybe to someone else and the family. Okay but just that's purely just speculation like nobody knows for sure. I know for sure. We just got into some deep tea there. I'll stay away from that. Okay. I was actually just thinking about this last night. So we didn't have like TV growing up. We had like a box TV that we would watch old movies on but we didn't have like anything mainstream. So I never had this like perception of like being on TV was cool or the cool people were on TV or anything like that. So when I was on TV and it just it didn't mean much. Didn't like I wasn't all of a sudden cool or anything like that. You know it was just me living my life. So did you say? I said you're pretty cool though. Oh yeah we're not. But yeah lots of things with my childhood looking back were quite different even though I thought it was normal at the time. I'm sure yeah. But yeah like we didn't a huge thing was like we didn't drink coke but it was like no sugar. We didn't have any sugar of any kind. You wouldn't find it in our pantry nothing. So but for that like we were all really healthy. Everything we it was organic, natural. We grew a lot of our own stuff and like even when like the season would come around when people would get sick like it would go through the family in in a week in a week's time with 11 people. So it was like we were like really healthy and active and grew up on 45 acres with how not how's his horses cows. Horses cows, chickens, ducks, guinees, gardens. We all had our own garden at one point. We had like the family garden that we would all tend to and then we all reached a certain age where we wanted to do our own garden. In some did better than others I had my garden did not do good. I remember like trying to keep my garden alive for like two years and I got a few things. I remember getting a watermelon this big. I was so proud of that one. But it was funny because like after I just let my garden go the soil there or like the weeds there were so rich. It was like the whole field. They were thriving. They were thriving. And then the the weeds there were so rich. It was like well he said I helped the weeds out. That's so funny. Now your family like living I want to I say like kind of like homesteading style. Would you say that? I guess we said the trend because that seems to be really trendy now. It's been like taking a talk now. The ballerina farm. You know, Narsman. Right. Everybody's doing that. It's a trend. There are these nice dresses and hanging the laundry on the line. That's beautiful in the garden. You guys are the OGs. Wow. What you guys hung laundry on the line and everything. Yeah. Yeah. We had a washing machine. Yeah, we had a washing machine. We did about six loads laundry a day. Your parents motivation for raising you guys like this was it like religiously motivated? I think for my parents, they both just experienced a lot in the world and just wanted to protect us from that. My mom was a own child with a single lock-lock mother and her mom was really in her life till she was like 12, 13 years old when she was threatened to be taken away. So my mom had a pretty rough childhood and was just like experienced a lot of just the world and the hurt and the, you know, just all the toxic things that come from that. And so that led to just being a lot more shelter than most people. Which I think there's definitely an aspect of that. But I don't think you need to like pretend like it doesn't exist to protect your kids from it. So I think I couldn't say that like it was like yes, I was I was raised in a Christian home. But I don't think my parents did a really good job of like I never perceived that the way I was raised was because that's what God wanted type of thing. You know, it wasn't like a you have to do this. You have to dress this way. You have to do these things to be good. It wasn't like that. It was more just a lifestyle that I guess my mom wanted. She wanted to have lots of children. She wanted land. She wanted all these things. And they just we were way out in the country. And I remember going like two months without even leaving the farm one day. I was like, I haven't been to town in a long time. And what is this town? How many people are in town? Well, our address was Wiggum. And that was 600. But Cairo is where we go. It was only like 10, 15 minutes away. And that's what's populous to Cairo. 255. No, not 2500. I think 10,000. I think 10,000 people is nothing though.
- Man, so you guys were really out in the boonies. Like, you're really, there's nobody. - Well, what do you mean, there's no boonies? - There's no boonies in the go to town, very often. - Yeah. (laughing) - And so all you see is your family all the time. - Yeah, in the goats. - Man. - Did other families come to your house? Yeah, we would have, there's one family that we've, we've known them my entire life and still to this day, like, can't get away from them. They just, we wind up in the same place in a friend's forever and we had other families that we would hang out with, but even some of that got to the point where it was like, okay, a lot of these. There was, yeah, I don't wanna get into that, but there was one family that we would like, go to fellowship with for a while and then eventually my parents were like, this is not healthy, this is not God, this is just pure legalism. And so we like, I think it was hard for my parents because they didn't want to, like, they wanted us to be in church, but they didn't want just the, I don't know, the production of it, if you know what I mean. - Yeah, what do you mean about a family like just following pure legalism? Were they doing things where there's certain actions they were taking that they were-- - It was that thing where, like, women couldn't speak. - Oh, crap. - And like, you had to wear dresses and like, all these things, so it was like-- - Like, no pants for women, sort of that. - Yeah, and-- - Was that IBLP or was it something different? - I have no idea. I didn't hear about IBLP until a few years ago, but no, I think it was something different than that. Just their own big family. - That's so interesting. - But anyways, so, like, the first church I was ever a part of is the one I'm a part of now. I started going there when I was 17. So, like, growing up, we were raised in a Christian home, we would like, read the Bible together as a family every night, but we weren't like a part of a church. We would have home groups now and then with other families, other people, but it was always hard finding people who were like, families who were truly after, you know, the heart of the father and not just like a lifestyle or, you know, legalist or legalistic or just like, production or all these things. - Fundamentalist or-- - Fundamentalist or things like that. So, which I think that's something that was perceived, like my family was a fundamentalist, Christian, large family, homeschool, these things with like that, yeah, that's the case. When you say fundamentalist, like, I'm, yeah, just enlighten me here a little bit 'cause when I've seen videos and pictures of the show, you know, I'm thinking of like the visual I saw of you and all your siblings like playing instruments and you're like, nicely dressed. And it's just like, the first thing I thought of was, oh, they're like the doggers. Like, you know, it seemed like a very similar sort of thing going on. I didn't know if you were, I just assumed, oh, maybe they're, maybe they're Mormon. Maybe they are Mennonite or what's the other Amish? Amish is like another group of people that, you know, I don't know, it's just, that was like my initial assumption. Yeah. But I guess what you're saying is that wasn't really a group that your family, like, witnessed it. Yeah, we weren't even like part of a denomination or anything. Like, we were, I look back on it and I'm like, I don't know, like, my parents never taught us. Like, this is how you should dress or anything like that. Like, my mom just, like, yeah, we grew up wearing dresses, but once I started doing my own shopping, it was never, like, it was never told that you had to wear dresses, type of thing. Like, my mom shopped for us and those were the clothes she bought us. And then, you know, when I'm 13, 14 out there by my own clothes, I bought whatever I wanted. So, it wasn't a type of thing where I could, I could totally see how, like, looking at a picture of my family, it's like, oh, they are, you know, ex-category, whatever, but I, I don't know what, if I was to have to put my camp family in a category, I do not know where I would place us out there. I mean, I would, you say out there. Out there, that's a good one. I would just say, like, I feel like there's so many assumptions around just different denominations in general. And what's so often misunderstood is that there's a lot of belief systems around denominations that are very similar. I'd say, honestly, like, 80% similar across denominations, but what is disagree upon is, like, is what's most talked about. And so, that's what's coming to the light in terms of the show. It's like, oh, this picture of them, look, they are this denominations, so we can talk about that with them. And, like, even though they probably agree on all these other things, and they're probably living in a good way, or following practices in this good way, it's like, we can talk about the things that may be controversial more, because, that's often just what is more talked about in general. And so, I feel like the big question, everybody probably wants to know is, do you guys drink grape juice during communion, and do you about ice cream? I know. I know. It's like, you know, what's the difference? We can't move on, and so we get an answer. I've had grape juice, and I've had real wine for-- Oh, my gosh, real wine, a lure, a lure. But this is the thing. This is the thing. There was an episode where, like, after she turned 21, she was having a drink with her parents, like, just the casual drink. She had a pain to celebrate with her parents. And I can't tell you how people were like, shame on you. I'm like, oh, I didn't realize having a few steps of champagne was a sin. I want to talk a little bit about your upbringing. I heard a lot of backstory on Jeremy and Ginger's podcast, which shadowed to their podcast. Right, to Jeremy and Ginger, we love them. They're your friends of ours, feel that? Something that you had still of decent families, you and two sisters, not nine siblings, not nine kids, all together, but something that stood out to me that I wanted to ask you as, you said you grew up in a household where, basically, you were able to talk about emotions. And it was a very emotionally, I would say, sounds like intelligent household. Where people were very open about this stuff. I want to talk about that a little bit, because I feel like that is something that our generation is struggling with now, because it's like, it wasn't talked about a lot when we were kids. And it's like, what did your parents do right that your house seemed like such a safe place for that? That's helped me so much too. Well, I think like, there's a lot of balance between my two parents. My dad was just always present in a lot of ways. Very intentional about his time with us. He would work like 14 hour shifts as a nurse and then play tennis with me, or like, go do something with the girls or something like that. And so he was always very intentional about his time. I always was a man of his word. So it's like, if I asked him, hey, can we play tennis tonight? And he's like, oh, sorry, I'm just a little tired, but we can do it tomorrow. Like, you would make a point to make sure it happened. And so that was just like super encouraging, not only as an example, but also just as a son, just to have a dad who is just that intentional with me. So, but then my mom, she was very, very just emotionally in tune with each of her kids, just very much like, okay, like, you know, she'd ask us about school, but she would actually like want to understand how our day at school was. It wasn't just like, okay, how was school? Oh, math sucked. Okay, have a good one. Here's some food or whatever. It was actually like, we would say something and she could tell that like something was a bit off and just like, hey, like, you can tell me it's okay. And like, it's like, yeah, someone kind of like, picked on me today. And like, we would go in depth about it and she'd help us understand our feelings or understand our anger and talk it out instead of just being like, like not having a conversation about it. And so that was just really helped us just through our school years and just our years at the home where we all talked to each other. And even when, you know, siblings had our tips, we would talk to each other and we'd, you know, apologize and actually mean or apology, not just be like, sorry, you feel that way. It's like, no, sorry, I did that to you. And like, I have to own my piece. It's not, it takes two to make this happen. So I'm sorry that I did this. And so I mean, it just bred that natural, I guess you could say emotional intelligence in me. And we dealt with a lot, you know, around our wedding. And I just didn't have reactions. A lot of people expected in terms of like, you know, people, you know, there's people calling me gay, you know, literally the day I proposed. And like all this extra stuff that didn't make sense. And it's like, okay, but coming from the standpoint of your life and what you've been through, you might be projecting things. And like, Ethan in particular, he has dealt with a lot. He just went through a divorce recently. And then like, he sees his, you know, sister getting proposed to, and it's like on the same form that he got married on and everything like that. So it's like, there's a lot of emotional tension. I'm sure for him. And so recognizing that and not being like, how could you ask that? Or like getting all frustrated at him. I'm just like, I just answered the question and moved on. Because was that something that happened like on the show? Was that like the disagreement you guys had? Yeah, that was one of the big things on the show, actually. Which, that kind of protected me from a lot of that. Like you just weren't even aware it was going on when it was being filmed essentially? Well, so, okay, so it was like leading up to the proposal. I didn't even know Zach was in town. And he completely surprised me. Oh, wow. With everything. And yeah, so like, he was dealing with a lot leading up to it. My whole family was there with him like setting up everything. And when I got there, you know, I proposed beautiful, all these things. He's surprised me. It's crazy. So like, I was experiencing the beautiful side of it while he was like, just-- It was beautiful. Handling. Great time. Yeah, he was
just like protecting me from from all that and you like how the conversation with my brothers and everything and he later told me like yeah like Ethan asked me if I was gay and I told him like that's ridiculous I just posed your sister you know they asked me some questions that just I don't I don't know where they were coming from and of like I was really frustrated about it and everything but it was never like I didn't even watch it either because it was actually like he was like this is our proposal day like you you just remember our proposal yeah and we'll you know deal with everything else later as it comes yeah I just I just didn't feel the need to feel that fire like because I wanted to give fuel to what was going well yeah and and so you know there was a lot of things that happened and I did tell her about a lot of them and do time when they were necessary but it was more like in the weeks following and even just like until after we were really married it was I was like oh yeah like this happened and this is a big deal we can talk through it and figure it out but in the time you didn't need to know it because that it would it would have hurt you in it and it's not like it's not like she didn't get some of that in her own right like her brothers talked to her several times about like different things so she knew some of that stuff already before the weddings it's not like I'm like your brothers are saying all these things and I'm not telling you about anything like no I must have been really hard for you because I can't imagine like in marriage you're becoming your own family but at the same time there's so much connection with your existing family too yeah so that probably felt that's probably very hurtful to hear that from someone who you're about to essentially be brothers with so I guess like my my question for you was how did you handle that on on your own because regardless of the context of the situation just accusing somebody of something without really like knowing more and then that being like publicly something that shared all over the world like you're you had no idea who she was when you when you guys met this was never about famous is never about the TV show it's kind of just like a life you almost married into yeah so was that like a very stressful time for you then I wouldn't use the word stress I would more say it's just it was confusing yeah I didn't know how to react really especially because it was like the last thing I expected yeah in terms of like okay like I approached them to have the conversation I was like hey guys like ask me any question you want I want to be an open book I know this isn't usually you know this is a quick timeline everything like that I want you guys to be as engaged in and understanding as possibly into our marriage and like of all the questions I was going to be asked I didn't think that was going to come out and so was the quick timeline any what was that a concern for anybody or was that not even it like it was brought up but it was very brief it wasn't like the main point or the main focus it was it was more so like just quick judgments on my character yeah he doesn't do this he doesn't do that and it was like off of very little things that I actually didn't like was just honestly taken out of context like when I moved there I had to put all my stuff in a very small room and I couldn't really keep it tidy because yeah I was in transition so it's like you can't really tidy up until you're in a place where you can actually put everything totally and one of the brothers saw that as I'm messy and I don't clean up after myself and I literally was just going there to sleep and then I'd help Lydia with the wedding we planned a wedding in two months so that's very that's super fast Abby's mom planned our wedding so that was a huge blessing for us neither one of us we just showed up we're like what's happening at this wedding okay so you brought up the timeline a couple times and I'm sure that was like a part of the show as well like you guys from meeting to getting engaged was less than a month right no meeting to engage was like four months four months it was engagement to marry that was two months that's okay yeah yes so meeting to day of marriage was three days shy of six months okay that is gnarly yeah I looked at up once I think it was one hundred you guys need your own tv shoot just about you I would watch it I'm like like the cameras could have only been there from that's such an interesting social experiment about this so we've talked about this though we were like we need to like write this all in a journal and like write a book about it thank you to ask your response ring this portion of today's episode one of the most frustrating things we've run into when we travel is trying to fit all of our stuff in a suitcase there's a lot of clothes diapers there's wipes binkies and that's why we're huge fans of excurs travel pack what this travel pack does is you put all of your clothes in it and then you suction all the air out that way it's nice and consolidated yes that's the word yeah and I think we're really incentivized now especially with kids to put things in as a few bags as possible plus you know what the airlines charge for multiple bags it's crazy so the travel pack is an excellent way to make your travel experience way more seamless it also includes a portable USB-C recharging air pump for compression on the go obviously the travel pack vacuum kit is genius but escar also offers a card holder pro which is a smart wallet that's trackable so you can find your wallet whenever you lose it I lose stuff all the time so I'm really happy we have one of these things now we even need to talk about how many e-readers I've lost you've lost a ton I wish those were trackable yeah but this is really cool because the card holder pro is made from 100% recycled aluminum and features a smooth metal card ejector trigger for swift effortless transactions it also comes with a lifetime warranty for a total piece of mind right now for the escar new year sale you can get up to 48% off site-wide plus an extra 20% off your entire order by using our code unplanned head to the link in the description or scan the QR code to upgrade your wallet now so the reason behind the timeline our idea we both talked about it what are we both talked about it well before we were like yeah six months we're done like we didn't expect that at all but our idea behind the timeline would be like six months to two years is like engagement period like makes like you would know in that about about that amount of time right and just like how much we did in such a short amount of time those first three weeks we hiked five 14 years and three days we went skydiving yeah it's a 14,000 foot mountain holy crap in Colorado does it five of those we did five in three days oh my gosh so it's like you guys are so fit that's amazing so she's okay yeah like we get here I'm like in Colorado I'm like hyping her up I'm like okay you got you have to experience Colorado for real because she was telling me with her friend she's like yeah we've you know gone a leveling pass and we drove to a 14,000 foot mountain I'm like all right you guys have an experience Colorado then and I told them you have to hike a 14,000 foot mountain it's a it's a challenge but it's also an experience because you get to you get on top of this mountain 360 view of just mountain range it's stunning so tell her about this she freaks out she's just like yes I need to do this and so I plan it with her friend I bring a couple friends and we go and we like get out of the car round a corner and I'm like guys look there's the peak she just gone she's like going already I'm like Lydia where are you going and and so like I have to catch her make sure she's okay because she's from Florida so I'm like you're gonna die about to taste this and she just keeps going and we're talking back before yeah I'm like trying to get to know her because I like her and I'm like yo like you're amazing wait up and like we're talking back and forth and I'm like starting to lose my breath I'm like I'm from Colorado this shouldn't be happening right now like how is she out outpacing me well she grew up in a family he doesn't eat sugar so no she's super healthy and we had a great time but like it's it it gets exhausting and it's like you're huffing and puffing it was it was kind of funny because I hate to admit this but it was it was in the time where I was still trying to avoid you well heard about it but I also at the same time really wanted to spend time with him because I was curious about who this guy was and so like yes I wanted to just be learning to the top of the mountain and just get there but I also was wondering curious if I got ahead if you would get ahead and then we could be together the two of us she's ignoring you because I would have spent half time with me half time with other people so in my trying to avoid you I went ahead so you could get ahead so we could hike together she got me no that is a mind game hard to line and sinker right there had you guys dated before you met no you mean other people yeah like did you guess it both okay yeah I didn't phrase that question I was like how do we date before yeah most most people date other people before they mate but I didn't know yeah yeah yeah just wait where did you date before you met no we actually didn't we literally didn't yeah we that's a weird question I said that really weird they're good at there would be a nice but yeah like from our our story we had never dated other people before we started dating oh I got on a couple days I wanted that to be my story but knowing how hardcore you guys are honestly ridiculous to be yourself yeah do five months and 27 days though that's hardcore no I can't what you're saying though because like when you I feel like when you especially when you go on a hike you do a challenge together you're talking the whole time you I heard that on when you first met you like go in right away asking all the deep questions yeah you find out a lot of things pretty quickly and also we like before we've started dating we kind of just establish that like this dating world out here people just play too many games and we're not about that like I'm not gonna talk to you for five months see if I want to go on a date and then go on a date see if I want to date you and then date you and like take three years to see if you might be Okay, it's like
You should know they're like it shouldn't be take that long to know their character because that's what matters Like you know other things are gonna change about them But it's their character that matters so yeah, and how you view marriage because like I feel like ultimately We've talked a lot about like ultimately and there's lots of different fields of thought on this But what we believe is like it's a choice to stay married and to keep working on your marriage and to you know Keep strengthening it and so ultimately it's not like we're gonna ever reach where it's like Oh, you got a perfect score you're getting to be my partner. It's I don't know We just like are aligned on like what marriage is for and like how we view it and it's funny You say that because our pastor during our ceremony. It's in our wedding video. He says love is not an emotion Love is a decision and it's like choosing Daily and sacrificing for each other daily to that was in my bounce you stay together Boom, you know it's gonna prepare you for marriage to the most marriage now There's nothing else is gonna prepare you for marriage. It's marriage well because same with the children We've been talking about that. Here's my other thing About children. That's been a topic of conversation. Okay. So we talked about the five 14ers and three days, right? They do the topic. No, I'm getting to the topic. Okay We did four in one day and that was when she was like all right We're gonna. I'm gonna say yes to this. You know, this is the big deal. I'm gonna say yes to moving forward with us and In the rain on the side of mountain dancing That was fun But we we're driving back and we were getting to know each other and I was like okay Do you like like cats or dogs? Which one do you like better babies? She said babies? Yeah, she said babies like from the beginning. So she's had baby fever forever I get that. So my younger sister was like my baby. I like she was everything Um, and so the minute she started walking. I was like I need a baby in my life So I keep telling him like yes, I have baby fever But I've also wanted a baby in my life for like Nine years now. So I'm surviving. I'm doing okay. I can wait another day I love I love the pause there before day. Yeah Yeah, we're doing good. We yeah, we decided you know wait a year and have the conversation But we I think we want to be parents pretty soon just young parents You're gonna be the best dad in the world. So yeah, what's gonna happen is a year from now? She's like she's an approach you and say okay, so we're having a kid and like there we That's what happened Matt said time on the day like on the day. I was like well Here it is. It's time. Yeah. How long did you guys wait? Two years before we had our first end Yeah, but we yeah, but what happened is on our anniversary our second anniversary I was like it's time and you were like no, I'm not ready. It's so we waited a few more months Well, I think well, yeah, I guess we got we officially got pregnant in October and in our anniversary was July Yeah, so it took Three months three months from our and our second anniversary was me. Yeah, three months after our second wedding anniversary We got pregnant. Yeah, and and what would your advice be to Zach because I know like as a dad's provider all these things like You want to be a dad, but at the same time there's so much like not fear, but just like unknown around it So like and there's nothing that's actually gonna prepare you to be ready to be a dad So I'm not saying convince him that's not at all what I'm saying. So what advice would you have for him? If he is gonna be a dad in the next two three years. Oh totally. Yeah, I think I think if you just like go right into it I think you're definitely going to Be probably unprepared right away and just be like what has happened like that? You know, you're you're keeping another human alive that you're fully responsible for 24/7 and it's it's a lot But then you know you get past those those initial months of having a baby and then you know You get to where we're at now where we have a two and three year old who not only and each entertain each other every given second They're like they're like glued together. Yeah, everything together But they're so fun and now like where our kids are at an age where we have like full-on conversations with them So yeah, I don't know I would say you can't go wrong either way I think it's just You you have to recognize that Maybe yeah, if you have kids right away after getting married your life isn't gonna look as if you had taken a couple years and just lives the You know, no kids life for a bit But then you also get this unique cool experience with kids at a young age that other people don't get if you choose to do that You know and it like right away. It's awesome. For sure. Yeah Like I mean even this even this year we've like had that kind of like married life just the two of us experience We've been everywhere been to two countries 15 states. Okay. Just done a lot. You okay. You said 15 states I thought I heard you say on a podcast or something 38. Yeah, that was 2023. Oh, my wife You weren't before you guys met you into 38 states. Yeah, and now together you've been now you've been to 15 Yeah, so I'm just like we've seen it all like we're ready You guys ever thought of like doing van life or like getting a pilot's license you could fly a plane I have a lot of you said I haven't thought of that but you're making me do because I've been a van life I've been a big fan of van life, but then recently I was like okay, Abby doesn't like camping But what if I learned what if I learned to get like fly a plane and then maybe one day we can like lease or rent or whatever it is Like a small private plane that could just fit our immediate family Yeah, and if I have enough hours and I don't like that's just like such a cool way to travel It was really cool. Yeah, you guys like to travel yeah, so I think a hundred percent like I've totally thought about van life I'm like I've traveled so much it might it would make sense But at the same time like it wouldn't work for us because we're so much. We're such people people. Yeah, we need community. We need You know time with our friends and in rich You know rich friendships, and I feel like the van life would just take from that so The travel aspect and the you know waking up is unwise and The mountains with your coffee like that would that would be the dream but all of that would just be for myself and my own enjoyment and there wouldn't be giving there wouldn't be community There wouldn't be the rich aspect that comes from that. I've thought many times about like what I want to accomplish a travel and Liddy and I have very similar like travel motives in general, and it's just like I think the big ones are like Just I think the Western national parks just like going through California and looping back around Colorado that kind of big loop with National parks and then we want to go to Switzerland and and that sort of stuff, but like Alaska is one I've been to Alaska and every time I bring it up. She's like we need to go now But so we we have our ideas, but I think for the most part we're we've also traveled to almost all 50 states now And somehow our employers have kept us. Yeah, I want to know getting met He engaged like your timeline just under six months. Yes, had you guys had a fight before you got married a couple disagreements But nothing like major the biggest tension actually before we got married actually was whether or not You're gonna film our wedding that was the biggest tension. That's sad. It was pretty big because it was like His family, you know, just wanted it to be the wedding and and this was like well, this is my life and it's hard No, I don't want. So that was it was really hard, but we we resolved that within three hours I think we were both just like okay, we need to take our own time and then we came back together and we Because I think initially Zach was like you need to make a decision. This is your wedding. I was like, no, it's our wedding This is our life. We need to make a decision. So Yeah, there were definitely aspects that were tough about it and we wanted we tried to like make it as Guessed friendly as possible and and yeah, we told the guests like if you don't want to be on camera I just don't sign this and because you have siblings right that don't want to be on camera Yeah, I have I have an older sister She's amazing. She's living her happy life with her four kiddos and her husband Wow and and she like loves just five more to go. She loves She loves the family too and like I think a lot of people think that because she's off camera She hates the family. Well, there are people have spread lies. People have spread lies but like the family was toxic So she moved away type of thing and it's like what are you saying? But now she yeah, she's close with everyone She comes around as often as she can. She looks far away though, but Yeah, she just her and her husband don't want to be in the public eye and I 100% respect that and I am jealous sometimes A big thing that we've like learned with just disagreements that we have is like I think the one of the Things we focus on is we're a team against whatever struggle it may be in terms of like whether that's dealing with the cameras or Just disagreements that are wedding. We're just like yeah. Well, this is our wedding and like we're getting married and You know some people may not understand the timeline, but This makes sense for us and and so let's let's face this as us And not you know let it be like I'm I think this way and you think this way and I won this argument and You lost this argument or something like that. It's like yeah, we are a team It's not you fighting against me. It's us against the problem And that's what happened with the camera versus the producers Okay, well, but that's what that's what happened is I was like this is your decision because you've dealt with this more I was putting it on her and she's like no like You're in this with me. I need I need to help with this decision. Yeah, it's all the same yours That's good because then when if something does go wrong. It's not like you chose this like no, yeah, we
both have to face whatever consequences come of decision we make together. 'Cause I feel like that's just a common thing in marriage. Or it's like, "Okay, well you did this and I did this." It's like, "No, everything's us, everything's we." - Yep. This question is too much, just no need to answer it. But I'm just so curious, 'cause I know a lot about the social media side of things, but not the reality TV side of things. When it comes to revenue and finances, with the revenue you get paid on the show, is that enough to pay your bills, or do you have to get another job to supplement what you're making when you're on TV? - Lydia, we're gonna have to do the best we possible. - So, I mean, maybe you could live just off of it, but not really. But so, when I was 16, I was just like, or just at the beginning, when we started filming, I was just like, "I don't want any of this to change who I am, how I go about life, how I see things." So, when I was 16, I started working, and I was like, "I'm not gonna, like I'm just gonna save the money from the show, let that aside, get a job, and live off of that, so that I'm just a normal person." Like, I want to just be as grounded as possible. So, I started working. I had like six to seven part-time jobs when I was 16, 17, and then when I was 17, yeah, six, seven part-time jobs. - Oh my God. - Everything from like, you know, just two hours of babysitting in the morning, to like working eight hours a day, seven hours a day, for a mechanic and his wife who had a farm, and so I did everything from like office job to helping him in the shop, to like, digging trenches, and cutting down trees, building fences, all the things. So, I started doing that when I was like 16, 17, and then at 17, I started working as a bank teller, worked that job for about a year, and then worked at a jewelry store. So, yeah, I kind of just went at it like, I don't want to rely on the show. I don't want that to be my identity. I don't want like that to be who I am. So, started working and live off to that, but it was awesome because, you know, that just set me up for, you know, even more savings. - I wanna talk about newlywed life because that's so fun, and it's such a special season, and I still look at our first year of marriage, like, so finally we talk about it all the time. So, what has that transition looked like for the two of you guys? Very young and married, 'cause you're 21 and 24. Like, what does that like? 'Cause I think a lot of people are like thinking about getting married like late 20s, 30s. Like, they don't know what this kind of can look like in your early 20s. - Yeah, I mean, obviously the big thing, moving in together, I think that was really fun. Just-- - Wait, yes, 'cause I remember this was a part of the show. You guys didn't even kiss until you were married. - Yeah, yeah. - They were real friends. - They were crying about everything. - I didn't realize that, yeah. - We saved our first kiss for The Wedding Day. - You saved your first kiss for The Wedding Day? - Yeah, crazy. - 'Cause that is, wow. - Hey, that was a way to say it's funny, okay? - Okay, 'cause it's old, it's old, it's old. - Were you like making out your hand to prepare? - I legitimately did that before our first day. - I don't think they would have done it that way. - Two clarifies, two clarifies. - We had relationships before. We had kiss people before. - So you knew how to kiss. - We knew how to kiss. - Okay. - But we had to practice like, okay, how are we gonna kiss? - We knew how we would do. - We would not kiss. It was like-- - Oh, the temptation. - It was awesome. - It was tough, but it was good. And-- - How long did you hold the kiss for? Was it a quick one? - It was long. - You guys-- - It was a long kiss. - We could probably five times on the first kiss. - Did people have to look away at The Wedding, where did it, did you make-- - We didn't make it on-- - You were making it on come through. - Okay. - You should have made people uncomfortable, just for the heck of it, right? Just take your grandma uncomfortable. - Everybody, we waited a lot of time. - Oh my god. - I didn't wait for five years. - Like, touch her-- - If it's not, not Jason. - Sorry, sorry, that was too far. - No, but like, the show really like pointed that out, actually. It's like, it took like all the clips of us, like, during our photo shoot and during like our reception and every little piece of us kissing each other. It's like, now that they're married, they're kissing. And they have like a montage for a minute of us kissing. - You're like, "No one needs us to do this." - I'm like, "Everybody kisses on their wedding day." - Like, did you guys watch the season or no? - No, I watched some here and there with like, friends. - I haven't watched the show. - But it wasn't, yeah, it wasn't like a lot. It was more just like, 'cause my friends were watching. That must be crazy to have it all go out and you don't even know what's getting posted. - Well, you know because everyone's DMing you. - Oh. - That's how it turned out. - Or, yeah, we're supposed to meet you. - I don't watch it. I just look on social media to see, read like, two, three DMs. I'm like, okay. - Interesting. - Or like, they'll comment on the post. - They'll be like, "I'm so sorry that this happened." Or, you know, "I'm so excited for you this." - Yeah, that's how I'll go. - Yeah. - I've already moved past that. Thanks for the reminder. (laughing) - Is that how you found out about like the whole, like, thing with her with her brother when people, like, reach out to you and they're like, dude, I just like, saw you getting this massive argument on live television. Or like, I don't know, like. - No, it was more, I had told her. - Yeah, let them do everything that happened, but it's definitely. - But when it like, I think the details came out when the show was kind of airing and everything of like, they, this is the timeline of when they did it and this is why they did it and like, just some of the details. - But it's all so weird. - We were too to relive all that stuff. - Yeah, that is the hard part. - Especially when it was like, I think it was like six months. - Yeah, that must be so weird. - The thing about it was like, we had had a lot of conversations privately with some of the family and so we're like, getting past a lot of this stuff and then it like comes up again. - That's such an interesting world to be in. - Yes, what happened was awful and wrong and all these things, but then you're having thousands of people message you, like you need to move away from your family. They're toxic. All these things, and it's just like, it makes it so much bigger than what happened. - I think the biggest thing that makes people say that stuff too is like their own experience. - Yeah. - 'Cause like so many times you would get like, like we did the tortilla slap challenge. I'm sure you used to eat it. - Oh yeah, that's fun. - And like it was so fun. Like it was a great experience. Half of the comments were like, this is - Of views. - This is abuse. This is the early signs of abuse in trauma and everything like that. I'm like, what's the lady, I just can't take it. Well, aren't bad. - She's slinging through it. - I'm worried about Zach, but his face is red. That's what I'm saying though, 'cause like we edited it so that like it was almost every one of Lydia's slaps. She was just like, psh, psh, psh, and it was just like real quick form. And like it was fun, but like the other half of the comics, I need to see this video. I want to see, I want to see it. Just take you out. - I'm sorry. - Why am I laughing so much? - No, it's good. It's good. It is, it does take me out. I'm like, oh wow. - Thank you to Rocket Money for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. We're in the new year and this is the perfect time to get your budget figured out. I know Abby and I have been having a lot of money conversations recently and one of our favorite personal finance apps is Rocket Money because they help you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitor your spending, and help load your bill so you can grow your savings. - I know we've talked about this in the past, but there are so many subscriptions nowadays. It is so easy for them to get out of hand. I know in our household, we had so many subscriptions. We didn't even know we were paying for every month. We were just hemorrhaging money regularly and weren't even using the services provided. Plus, sometimes you never know. Your kids could even be signing up for some things because our son, our youngest, signed us up for several TV subscriptions that we weren't even aware of until we downloaded Rocket Money. - Rocket Money trashes your subscriptions and has the ability to cancel within the app with just a few taps, saving time and avoiding charges. - You can also set budgets and goals, get personalized insights and regular reports. You also receive real-time alerts for large transactions, upcoming bills, refunds, and low balances. - Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join RocketMoney.com/unplanned. That's RocketMoney.com/unplanned. - I would love to hear from you guys, just like-- - Switch the interview here. - Sure. - Okay, now hold on the spot. - Yeah, ask us a question too, unplanned. - Yeah, yeah. - The unplanned way. - But basically, like, you guys went from, obviously, working jobs together. The only way, like, we really prepared for this was listening to, like, your two interviews from, like, 20, 20, 20 or something. - No, we're really excited. - Oh, that's so fun. - Yeah, it was awesome. - We're really excited to just get to know you guys. We're really excited to just get to know you guys genuinely. But you guys worked jobs together, and then, like, this stuff flows up. And, like, it kind of, I feel like changed your life and a lot of-- - Oh, really? I feel like it. - And so, it's definitely changed mind being in the public eye. Obviously, you get a lot of opinions, and I feel like those haters are gonna hate. I feel like that's the common thread around influencers and stuff like that. What has been, kind of, the biggest, one of the biggest blessings. And then, what are some moments where it's, like, you realize it's just overwhelming, or it's, like, yeah. 'Cause, I mean, several times for us, it's been, like, okay, let's go by a form, and, like, just exclude ourselves from all this, and just be done, and it's, like, have you guys had moments like that, and then, or, like, what does that look like for you? - I'll start with the blessings. - Yeah. - The blessings that we get to work together, that is something that it's like, we spend so much time together, I think about a lot of my friends where their husband goes off to work all day. I'm like, that's so sad. You only see him, like, from six to, like, whenever you go to bed, I'm like, that's sad. And then, if someone has to do something at night, you don't see them all day. We spend a lot of time together, and we've always just been that type of clingy couple anyway. So it's, like, so fun. We get to spend all this time together, and now that we have kids, we get to spend so much more time with our kids, and most families get to, and I feel sad that that's their experience,
But for us I'm like gosh this is so great like we get to really both of us get to be the biggest influence in our kids lives And it's not like a stay at home mom or stay at home dad like we both get to be so hands on with our kids And that is something I do not take lightly at all like I am so grateful for that as far as the downsides they have been We have therapy Yeah, I mean truthfully that's what it is. We have individual therapy. We have a marriage therapy. We have a Lot of things because no one humans are just simply not designed to have this much feedback Yeah, from people like you're used to having your neighbors Random people you see in public who would never say the things that they say I'm like I kind of love started her up But I kind of love that you guys were able to work through a family conflict off off of the TV show Without other outside opinions even though like all that stuff still aired six months after there was you know Conflict and drama on the show like think about going through that live and then trying to navigate that when You have a million different people telling you what to do. Yeah, so kind of that kind of almost makes me Because I don't want to yeah, the content we make is so different from reality TV But there are some similarities and so it's like man sometimes when we're going through stuff and there's like all all this noise that's happening It's it's like man that'd be sick to like you know film everything And then slowly release it like six months later. So if anybody has an opinion that could mess with you You're just like oh, they just that they're just They're kind of just sharing their own experience and it has nothing to do with me Yeah, we hate to talk about like the negative stuff But it is a reality of it and I think the thing that's been such a blessing is that we were married when we started all this And then it started slow. We had a really strong foundation not that you guys like this isn't like comparing our situations Because they're totally different. Yeah, but we had this foundation of like okay, we'd been together for three years We'd been married for a year before anything like really four years of like us really growing up and being together Like we were a unit and so there was never a time where someone said something about me and Matt question anything about me Or someone said something about Matt and I question anything about Matt or someone say anything about our marriage And I questioned our marriage. It was never that it was always like you're saying us versus this and like it has It has been such a like there's a maturing process that this has Expidited in me whereas like okay, I have to really know what I believe about myself I really have to know what I believe about my husband I really have to know what I believe about our marriage and our family and all these things because There's so many other voices that could be Telling me otherwise, but it's like oh wait. We come back to I know where our identity as I know what this is all rooted in And nothing can shake that and so it has made a stronger in a lot of ways Yeah, and I also and I don't want to like get too much into Stuff that like involves your family, but not necessarily you guys, but just with prepping for the episode It also made me sad that there's been like divorce in your family, which like the first thing I thought of immediately was like man The the public I was too much. Yeah, like I literally like that was the first thing that I thought of and made me so sad because And almost maybe think like man would it would these relationships would have like would they have worked out if there was no sort of outside You know pressure because some people can't take it like some people can't take all the other voices and all the noise And it's very hard. So I'm sure it was I'm sure being on reality TV was very stressful on your parents and really stressful on You're sibling in their spouse, you know, yeah, I mean that's something that I have to keep myself from thinking about is What would life be right now if we weren't on TV? Yeah, because it would be completely different and there's so many unknowns and and You know could make me Just not grateful for I am right now Because gather've been we've walked through some really hard things in the public eye and there've been You know, it's been a struggle doing that and I'm sure if we weren't in the public eye life would look way different But I can't compare an unknown to where I'm at right now and that'll be grateful for where I am So I know being in the public eye did add a lot of stress With my parents, I don't think it was being in the public eye With my brother, I think the public eye really affected his ex and I think she Spent put too much of her Validation identity and in what people thought and how much tension she got from that and so that kind of just Carried her off but with my mom with my parents um, I don't think it was like I couldn't say If the show didn't happen my parents would still be together. Yeah, you know So yeah, but it's definitely something I have to keep myself from from thinking about it's like where would life be? I do know I wouldn't be married to you because I wouldn't have had the freedom to travel For six weeks to go to Colorado and and meet you and just go hikes and 14 or is in wow say yes to whatever Lord has for us to get married six months later That's sweet. Yeah, that's the thing you can't you can't pick and choose only the good or only the you know you get to You take it as it comes and then you do with it and steward what you have well And I think you guys have really done that yeah, I'm curious um since you brought up like your parents separating Was that difficult planning like a life with someone that you're saying like we're just been forever together? Is that difficult coinciding like with the reality of What was happening with your parents marriage? Yeah, 100% I think There was there was a point Shortly after my parents separated where I was just like I just didn't want anything to do with any relationships like It's like what's the point type of thing because this this one you know marriage that you've looked up to your whole life Is come nothing that's not nothing because there's children and there's a free from it, but it's like So what is it worth type of thing? Um, so I definitely had to work through that for a while of just like um, you know, love is a choice and you can choose to work through things or you can choose to go separate ways Also just like I'm not gonna let fear hold me back for anything like that's not gonna be The reason I do or don't do something So but then with I think with our relationship like my parents had been separated for like Three years of that would we met so I had kind of had time to process that um, but what was really hard was like I think it was like a month after that marriage was when their divorce was finally finalized. So it's just like what We're starting our marriage and And actually oh, oh even Add to that my parents they didn't Have like like it didn't go big or anything like that, but they've had their struggles before and so like I also had that in the back of my head and so it was like so like my parents were getting it got a divorce right after I married his parents were struggling so it was just like What's happening here? So like for her like there was resolve because it finally was Like they're the divorce was finalized and for me it's like they're they're getting to resolve my my parents are stepping in the right direction Which is great and they're learning a lot and doing great and so It's it's interesting to start a marriage when you see struggles in The examples of what marriage is to us and so like um I think the biggest part was understanding that we're creating our own family and we're creating our own Um, understanding between that and so like a lot of our conversations were around like How does your family do this and how does my family do this and like what do we want for our family? That's different from the two And so like really creating our own identity as a family instead of kind of taking what Expectations we may bring from our own families. Yeah, what do they say? There's like a quote says we like you marry your unfinished business Like so just like the fact that you're already forward thinking of like okay wait we need to dismantle rebuild And start from scratch in some areas and I think that's what every new couple has to like examine and or if you don't It's gonna you're just gonna keep repeating. Yeah, I think that's what that's just what humans do. That's what our nature is I couldn't help but think with you know talking about struggles and marriage I something that just like Absolutely shattered my heart when I was listening to you guys share your story on other podcasts you've been on was hearing about your sibling that died at 17 months. Yeah, and I just cannot Like as a parent I can't think of a more horrific thing to go through as a sibling. I can't think of something more horrific to go through How the heck you navigate that like how how does that work? Honestly, I think that has more to do with my parents divorce than the show That's all right. I think that brought a lot
, I think because our household wasn't necessarily One to just talk about everything and be vulnerable When that happened We didn't know how to talk about it and especially with it you know being in the hands of my mom. We weren't gonna dare talk about around her. So um I think Yeah, definitely with us like not talking about the hardest thing in our childhood. Yeah kind of just Bread that in general like I just don't talk about hard things and I can't imagine how that
effect to my parents about just like not facing the hard things, not talking about the hard things. And kind of having to shut up your emotions a little bit because it's too painful to feel again after so they like that. So like it's so sad because I can see it in my mom sometimes so just like does she know how to connect and how to feel and how to like know her emotions and all those things and I'm like at times I can be like can't you just see this and other times I'm like I can imagine she can't and because she's had to shut that up because it's too painful. So I think that's definitely affected our family more than most of them realize because it happened so long ago so it's not relevant today but no it's it's here still with us. But yeah that was definitely really hard to walk through as a family but I think the hardest part for me as I've grown up was how little he was acknowledged. Yeah well that makes me so sad. Yeah I don't think I visited his grave till I was like nine because it was just too hard to go back to. That's so hard because like you said like you have so much empathy for your parents being like I want to visit these emotions I don't want to visit the guilt and the pain but they're there and I think even just probably having to talk to their kids about it in a much different way like even talking we just had a late term miscarriage and figuring out how to navigate that with our kids I'm like yeah how do I talk about this like how do I I can't imagine with your parents without outside support knowing how to have those conversations because how old were you at the time I was four four yeah and you remember I remember everything too well. Yeah I saw that as massive just peace and the puzzle of a lot of struggles she had and like we've been due his grave multiple times since we've been together and I've asked her every question I can just for her to remember it because I know I know it means a lot to her I think like coming at a place of support instead of like no we can't talk about this has really been helpful for her and like she said earlier like given her voice to understand things and so and it's not like like now my family and I can talk about it like we do but I think because we didn't like talk about it when it was raw and real and right there there's just I don't know it just kind of built a wall to your emotions yeah so yeah like there's a timing yeah aspect to this yeah and it was on process so it's like it seems like you had a process you're still processing since it was something that you kind of just couldn't really talk about yeah yeah like I remember very vividly what I was still for talking like asking questions about Joshua to my dad instead of my siblings and like we start talking about it but then mom walked in the room he was like we can't talk about it anymore because she was there and she just couldn't talk about around her so the one time I remember trying to talk about it I couldn't yeah yeah and yeah I want to clarify to like all the family members are going through this so it's it's not just like like this this is nothing against the family for not doing these things but I think it was a very real experience of like what they're going through today like she said it's still very much present in what they're going through today of like just not always understanding the hard things or not always talking or acknowledging them and so you know nothing against how Kim went about it and you know I think there's a lot of healing that she needs to go through because of it but I think and obviously there's there's probably some things that needed to be talked about in those moments but I just I guess I just want to clarify like yeah totally like it's like it's a really hard thing there's not necessarily a guidebook on what to do and no absolutely happen and everyone's hurting but I think while a lot of people listening to this can't relate to that specific situation I think families go through traumatic events and they don't know how to talk to their kids about it but hearing you being brave enough to say like I do feel like it should have been acknowledged more and I do wish that in that time there were more open conversations I think that can shine a light for a lot of families and it's like it's also gives you confidence and bravery as a parent and being like okay my kid I can't just you know pretend like nothing happened and they're not going to know because they're four years old yeah like it's like oh they're so perceptive and and this honestly lays a framework for how your family and any family would continue to have emotional circumstances I know what they say like people go through traumatic mini traumas every five years on average and then like a big trauma every like 25 years these days will continue to happen yeah we just interviewed a Harvard professor that said every five years something horrible happens in your life and it's like how do you keep moving forward knowing that like you're still gonna suffer you're still gonna struggle there's still gonna be awful things that happen in the world to you and around you like how do you move forward amongst all that yeah like that how you handle that as a family lays a groundwork for how you will continue to handle many traumas bigger things even just conflict in general yeah gosh thank you for sharing that that has to be really hard to navigate and process this many years later yeah and yeah it does make me feel so much just compassion towards your parents because I can't imagine a marriage the statistics aren't positive when a marriage undergoes something as traumatic as a child loss like they're not positive and so it's like I know that they were dealt like an incredibly hard hand in that yeah yeah that's sweet that you've visited his graveside I think that's really precious yeah that's very meaningful I like that's really fun I was like okay well we got some extra time like what we want to do and she was like we can go to the farm we could do this and I'm like well I'm hungry you're gonna go grab lunch and go have lunch with Joshua and it was just like a super fun time and it was just like really well it was like feel special though it was fun in the sense of like just kind of sitting there kind of picnic style and like having her reminisce with me and just like interactively and it was just like cool to be brought into that yeah yeah I think because I didn't necessarily know to like I knew some like I heard the stories but I was I just wanted to ask the questions and like really like brought into who he was before everything so yeah it was really cool being for like and that has to be one of your earliest memories yeah some of the earliest remember when he was born okay I remember a few memories of his childhood like waking him up um I remember you didn't did you carry him yeah let's go um you already have that many kids like yeah pick him up yeah I remember specific details about his childhood um I remember that afternoon he was sleeping on his blanky out in the sun and then every detail of the accent I remember too well I was in the car what happened oh my god oh my mom she like freaked out got out pulled him out from under the car and then heard all my siblings ran to the house to grab the phone and I sick and I'm a hengris brother younger brother we're in the car um and I got out I saw him and that just it's terrible um so I go green back in the car and I just told Isaac I was like don't look just get out the other door we gotta go those details I remember too well um but I am blessed to remember some moments of his childhood too gosh you're freaking for and you have to tell your sibling like hey don't go out this door yeah just like yeah no four-year-old should have to experience that and I can even hear now you navigating like younger and then it's our youngest younger like having to like reframe all that and I remember on a podcast you shared like one of the your first times like driving together in a car you played a song that your mom wrote about your younger brother and I feel like there's there's no coincidence that you felt safe enough to open up about like this incredibly hard thing because something very not to compare again but something very similar happened to Matt and I on the first time we drove in a car together I told you about a loss that what I had never really talked to many people about yeah and there's just something like there's something you can't explain when you just feel like your soul is safe with like with someone else like and um yeah that was that was after our first mountain before the four before we were dating and doing like that we were in the car at like one a.m. to try to get to the mountain before the sunrise um and he started out with just like all right let's you know pick a jog pick a genre pick your favorite song type of game yeah that's good I
I call it the Spotify game. - Spotify game? - That's fun. - And you were a lot more than that way. That's good. - Seriously. - Like started serious stuff. Yeah, he started out, you know, with his drama, I did one, and then he did one, and then, and then I just went, I went deep all the way. - I think I like jokingly said, like, what's the song that just like has a lot of meaning to you or like something you play off of it, or even like something sad, I think. - Yeah. - And I didn't expect that, but it was good. I like, it was awesome to like, do that. - That was probably what I told you, like, about the family band, about me losing a brother, and like, I just dumped everything, and then played the song. - Hmm. - She like gave it the context, and I was like, I think it's resharing, like, I really appreciate that. And then, she shared the song, and she started crying, and then, and then, - And I stand on my leg. - Just remember, just, you put his hand on my leg. - When they do that, you can move. - That's a big move. - You can't move. - Yeah, Abby put, Abby put her hand on my leg, when I put my hand around her on the first date. - And I remember, I was like, I felt like I was being struck like lightning. - I know. - My body was just like, - You can't move. - You can't move. - It's like, you know that, inside out, and it's like girl, me, you, girl, girl. And the guy just froze, he's like, he's looking at Riley, the guy that thinks Riley's cute or whatever. That was me on that first date. - I remember the way my hip hurt so bad, because when I was leaning, I was like, I can't move. - Right. - You're in trouble, you're just like, boy. - I'm glad that moment was, is remembered by the hand on the leg. - That's just better. - So then later that day, on the first mountain, he put his arm around me. - Oh my god. - And then I leaned my head on his shoulder. - Aww. - Yeah. - And same thing happens, like girl, girl, girl, girl. - You're cute, you, girl. - That sweet. Well, I love even in that picture of like, you guys in the car, it's like, hey, like, this is, this is how I'm feeling, and then you're saying like, I'm here. - Yeah. - And I think that that's really, that's really beautiful. And that's essentially what marriage is, the, it was what I'm, what I'm learning so far. Like, and I think that, like, marriage is about like, this lovey-dovey newlywed stage. It's like, that's so fun. And then like, also, like, later on, like, there's a harder stage, like, harder season. Like, we're going through a harder season. I'm like, oh, I think back to that stage. I'm like, wow. Like, everything was so fun. But we were all like laying the groundwork to prepare us for like, this event. And then we still feel closer because of it. - Thank you to Hule for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Now that we are in a season of life where our kids are sleeping a little bit more, our time in the morning has been cut dramatically. So we really need to get up and going and out of the door in a short amount of time nowadays. And that is why these Hule nutritionally complete ready to drink meals have been so convenient for us. - Their black edition, Ready to Drink, is a complete meal. 35 grams of protein, 27 essential vitamins and minerals, balanced macros, and is under $5. Cheaper than a latte, and it actually keeps you full. - They also have chocolate, vanilla, and they have an iced coffee flavor too. - The strawberry banana in my personal opinion is the best. It tastes just like a famous yogurt I would drink. And it just brings me back to my childhood. So tasty, I feel like sometimes the protein drinks that you have in the mornings from some of these brands are just a little off. This flavor though, killer, so good. So tasty, 10 out of 10. Can't go wrong with the strawberry banana. - Hule also makes a daily greens ready to drink, and it's developed by nutritionist as well, with 42 vitamins, minerals, and super foods, only 25 calories, four grams of fiber, one gram of sugar, and no prep at all. It's lightly sparkling and genuinely refreshing, which is not what you usually expect from a greens drink. If you're trying to feel a little more put together or just want some easy wins in your day, this combo is such a good place to start. Grab Hule today with our exclusive offer of 15% off online with our code,
[email protected]/unplanned15. New customers only. Thank you to Hule for partnering and supporting our show. - I do want to talk about real quick. We've talked about so much, but you gradually mentioned your family having a band. I feel like that's so unique and so not ordinary for a family to go on tour as a family. - Well, to have enough members of your family to create a whole list. - You guys have a whole list show like what exactly is it? Think about it too though, they went everywhere. - We traveled everywhere from Minnesota in Texas, was the farthest west we went, and then obviously Florida was farthest south we went, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, like Kentucky, Virginia, that loop, all in there, kind of went there. But yeah, we had a family band. We had, see if I can name off all the instruments. So piano, violin, accordion, mandolin, banjo, guitar, upright bass, two violins, two guitars. - Yeah, we had a nice variety. And then my oldest brother has the best bass voice. And then-- - Yeah, that's so impressive. - Jammed out, started, it started with us just jamming out at home because my mom was music major in college. So she just naturally taught all this music. Just a simple stuff, piano, music theory. - And they made that. - And they made it simple. - Oh, it's not. - I was like, that was, that was not simple, but still. It started with just us growing up learning about music. Some of the children excelled more than others. I wasn't one of the ones that really stuck to a certain instrument. But then like my oldest siblings, they would get together just with their violin, cello, and what else, the guitar maybe, and just play songs together. And then we decided to go to the local nursing home and just entertain the old folks. - That's huge. - There's nothing better. - That's clearly like, it's the best. - Anyway, so it started with that. And then some of like the nurses or some people there would just be like, you guys should come sing at our church. And I remember the first church we got invited to, we were just like, we should probably learn some hymns or something, 'cause we were playing like, folk, forget the names of the songs we were playing, like red, red wing, I think is one of them. Just like, just folk songs. - It would have been funny if you guys have learned like modern pop music, 'cause I'm like a folk version of it. - Oh yeah. - Like I've seen some really funny TikToks of people, yeah, taking like a unique style, like yeah, folk, family music, and then using, especially like a rap song. - Yeah. - I think that's hilarious. - That's what it means. - That I would come to that show. I would find that very entertaining. - And like, we need some hymns here. - Yeah. - Right. - So we got invited to our first church, saying about it. And apparently, somehow they liked it. I look back and I'm like, oh my goodness. But I think we're more just entertaining than sounded good, because seeing, you know, nine kids up there, like a two-year-old who's just going around and picking at different things. We eventually got her like this little banjo that didn't make any noise or anything, but she would just stand there. - Aww. - That's cute. - I think it's different though. I've seen these videos on YouTube. - But we did get better. - It's adorable. - We did get better this time. - Like the videos you've seen are much better than our first performance. - Okay. - But yeah, it grew like crazy. I think like within two years, remember one year we sang it like 111 churches in one year, or events in one year. And that was-- - Wow. - That was our busiest year. And then after that kind of, kind of slowed down a little bit. And then it's actually full circle, kind of how the show came along too, because we had, I don't know where, a connection from a friend of a friend, this videographer from California needed a place to stay. And so we had a guest house. We were like, come stay in our place. First night he was at our place. We sang a few songs for him. And he was like, I need to make music video for you guys. So kind of as like, as a place, you know, he stayed at our place for free. And he made a music video for us for free. - And that's what you got to discover from that music video? - Sonny's side was the one that we did. And that went pretty big. And then yeah, about a month or two later, we had production reaching out to us. - No way. - Love this. Would you guys want to do a show? And I think we said no for about two years, but then here we are season. - So they kept coming back. They kept me back and wanted to do a show on you guys. - Yeah. But then by the time we actually finally said yes, and got everything's worked out. All the things when they sent the crew out, the band had ended because my oldest sister got married and she was kind of like the leading force of it. So she got married. She married a musician. So now they're doing everything. - No way. Did they release music together? - Yeah. - Wait, that's so good. - Yeah. - Oh, and she's the one that doesn't, she's not on the show anymore. - She's the one that's on the show. - But she's doing live shows. - Yeah, so that's cool that she's like following her passion. That's really neat. - Oh yeah. - Yeah, she's a violinist. She married a pianist and they there together. Amazing together. So yeah, like when she left and got married and some of the older siblings were just growing up and they were like, "Yeah, I don't like this music "that we do anymore. "We need to do different and all these things." So the band kind of just ended, but then they were still like, "Well, we still have your family. "We still want to cover you guys." So we started filming. - That's how it came to be. That's how it started. - Okay, that's cool. - And now here you are. Now here we're just finished season seven. - Yeah. - Yeah. Starting your own family now. - See, but for me, it's completely different. Like I remember we went on this road trip kind of going around, we did 11 states and 30 days and we went to my hometown and we went to church at my hometown to a church I've been to many times and we got recognized there. And they're like, "What are you doing here?" - They look at, they're like, what are you doing? - It's a city, 20,000 population in Kansas. - Yeah. - middle and over. I'm like, "I grew up here. "This is where I grew up." And it's just like, it's surreal. Seeing the difference of like, "I'm still the same person, "but now I'm on a TV screen." And so people like recognize me and just the difference. And so, yeah, I just really, I call my sisters all the time and I'm like, "Yeah, I'm just going to be on,
you know, Matt Navi or whatever. And like, this is just like, no way. And just like, that sort of stuff. And like, you said that too casually. Like, I'll be on the phone and I'll say it. Like, yeah, we're just going to Arizona and I'm gonna be on a podcast. And it's like, what podcast? And it's just like-- - Oh, I think you're just going to-- - See that for-- - I've been creating so much disconnect in me. I'm like, that's so crazy that they even know who are. - I know, but like, that's where I'm at. I'm just like, I don't know how. 'Cause when I really got to know them, I'm like, they're pretty normal people. Like, and I think the more people we've gotten to meet, they have something normal. - It's just like-- - Yeah, just describe it. You said it earlier, you said out there. - Yeah, out there, yeah. - That's awesome. So are you guys going to have nine kids as well as at the plan once it happens? - Not the plan. - I think the number we agreed on is three to five. - Yeah, three to five. - That was the number I said, three to five. - Let's go. (laughing) - See, that's a good number. And it also gives you a little bit of, it gives you a range. - Yes. - Just trying to feel it out. - Yeah, see how it goes. Also, like, Zach has to be a girl dad. Like, it went away another way. So if like, if the first three are boys, we're just gonna have to keep trying to leave some girls. - Random change of subject, but I just wanna get back to something you said. - Oh yes. - It's kind of been poking. You talked about like just dealing with the public eye and that sort of stuff. - Yeah. - And even both of you kind of going into therapy and that sort of stuff. - It's great, yeah. - And having to really know yourself in like what you're saying. How do you know when to kind of adhere to your audience and like what they're saying of what they want versus staying true to the content that you want? - Well, that's so good. That's a really good question. What would you say to that one? - I mean, I think that's something we've messed up and corrected and messed up and corrected and like learned through and fallen into such, 'cause also it's like us as a couple, right? Like it's like, that is different than like us as individuals. But I kind of like created like a mission statement. As we, so we're about to start another big project. And I was like, man, this is something that I've learned is that this is a hard thing to navigate. That thing is like one of those things you don't anticipate necessarily. So I think it's so incredibly, like it speaks to you guys as people like the fact that you're even asking this question. - Right. - That you have such good intentions. Creating a mission statement, it sounds so cheesy. It sounds like something corporate. Like someone's gonna have to like, we have to post this, then we could check off to do lists, like how to start this business. But creating that like mission statement helps create a standard that it's like, if there is ever a question and we're like, oh, it's this, we're kind of, it feels iffy here. Go back to that. Does it fit that? And I think that you could create a mission statement for your marriage, for your family, for your social media, for any business, any project you start and that just helps create so much clarity where you're like having, you're facing so many decisions that you're gonna have to make. And it's like, okay, well, we can't have this many conversations. We can't always wait back and forth. But when it comes to like an area where it's like, okay, I can't really step forward. Just bring that to the mission statement. - That is it. - That adds so much clarity. - That's cool. - And that's such a cheesy answer. But it's very helpful. But also even just creating that does so much for you. To be like, okay, what is integral? What is like the most important thing? What is my goal in doing this? Like, what's the point? Abby is so, she's always been so authentic online. She just gives no F's, which I think is like really, really cool. - I've never described myself as that. - I do give more F's than Abby. - You have a couple F's to give. - I do have a couple F's to give. And so I think that's like, yeah, that's definitely made me, you know, bring things up in therapy to work through. 'Cause I'm like, man, I need to figure out like, what, yeah, how my brain works and why. - I think the truth of it all to is like you show up as you are. And if you're not showing up as the best version of myself, then that's what's portrayed. And I think that also just is a heavy responsibility and a high responsibility when you have a lot of people looking at you. It's like, well, they're gonna see who you are. And obviously there's a ton of misunderstandings, misunderstandings, interpretations, straight up lies and rumors. - Yeah, but that has to be hard to have lies and rumors about like, 'cause for us, like it's just about our relationship. But then now with your family, you have like everything. - Well, I was gonna ask how you guys handle that. 'Cause like, you know, there's some rumors, some lies out there that's just like whatever. But then there's others that are just like, why would people do that? It's like so not true, so out there. - It's so hurtful. - I've seen some where it's like posted that my grandpa died or that my dad has cancer or that like, all these things like, why would you do that just for likes and clicks would-- - Yeah. - Well, it's the big thing with-- - It's like, why are you, like what if I'm struggling with infertility and I see this, that you're posting a pregnant picture of me? Like, how hard would that be? So like, what, how do you handle it? - It's the big stuff with a eye though. Like, these are all a- - Oh, yeah. It's all like my fault for that sometimes, articles and stuff, I'm like, what? I'm like, oh, that's not real. I have to crack my mom and grandma a lot too. I'm like, this is real. - So just like wondering, if you guys have come across that, or if that's just a reality team of the world. And if so, like, does it ever come big enough for you guys to address it? Or you just like, no, just live your life. - I think that's on what you're doing and just let that fall aside. 'Cause there, I've gotten so many messages of people are like, you had a baby in July. Why don't you put it on? Like, why are you hiding your baby for a lot? - And here's the thing, there's no end to that. - There's no end to that stuff. And I think that's something that I've just had to completely like lay aside. At this point, that's what it's getting. Your life and you can continue to use this as it aids you in your marriage, your future family. And if it's no longer serving you, then it's like, okay, well, we were doing this for ourselves anyway. So like, and we were showing up as we are and all these other things just feel so outside. And so I think that's all you can do. Honestly, there's so many different ways to approach it, but for me, I'm like, I just had to tune everything else out. And like, it's just, it's been so freeing too because then I feel like I can also just show up as authentically as possible, like for our audience. And then I also can just sleep well. And like, knowing like, I don't have to cater to all of these other things because I only have to cater to my own family, who's in my own, under my roof. And that's just, that creates so much peace in life. And ultimately, I feel like that's what we're all searching for. It's just a little bit more for us. And so, I think that's where I've come to, 'cause there was a period of time where I was just like so frustrated. Like, people are spreading these rumors. Right. And it's like, just clarify, we didn't have maybe in July. That'd be possible. So yeah, I've had to come to a place where it's just like, you know, that doesn't matter. And it's been like a good month now that I haven't looked into anything. Seeing what people are saying. So that maybe you guys brought with you, it wasn't yours? No, I think that would be my best advice from what I learned. Obviously, you know longer, even the public eye longer, but I think that's just like, just as long as there's peace with under my own roof, then that's my world. That's what it is. It is funny, though, like I started to wrap it around, but like mega, mega celebrities, like legitimately do stuff like that, like Kylie Jenner hiding her pregnancy for, I think she hit it for like six months and then she's like, boom, I'm a baby. But like to think about people, people like us that I guess happen to have people that know who we are in the world, but it's like, that's a completely different thing. You don't even have like bodyguards like covering us. You ain't be able to tell. Yeah, it's this one's like, oh, it was a shotgun wedding. They did it 'cause they had a baby and they hit it from the public eye. Look, I know it's true, insert AI picture. Yeah, I actually know those are the posts. It's like, it was a shotgun wedding. But yeah, I think, oh, what was I gonna say? Oh yeah, they're like, I totally have had moments where I'm just like, I need to meet the person who's creating this, I need to speak to them. 'Cause it's like, if they could just meet me face to face and have one-on-one conversation with me and see that I'm just a human being like you and just live my life and just trying to figure out this marriage and just working and just girl. Do all those things. I just think they would, yeah. (laughing) Listen, there's so much more rewarded through, doing something that's gonna build you up. Yeah. So I definitely have my moments like that, but I'm gonna move. It's so hard. It's so hard. Actually, it's easy but. Just to live my life. Yeah, as much as you can tune all that outside of stuff up and like, guide your energy and your focus and your attention towards what's gonna make you the best version of yourself, then I can definitely work on that as well. I'm just speaking to myself as well. I think that's my best advice. And I think that you guys are stewarding it so well. And I just know that I was just listening to your conversations, it impacted me so much. I'm like, oh, I just wanna go home and kiss Matt. I like this, this, newlywed, lovey-dovey stage and mushy-gushy. Should we kiss right now? - No. (all laughing) - Dang it. (all laughing) - Anyway. - He has that. - Okay, I'm sure. (all laughing) - That was great. Everyone go get your husband. - Yes, go kiss your spouse. Lydia, Zach, thank you for coming on the show. - Yeah, there's just so much fun. - So much fun.
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