Week 1 Recap: Giants Dominate Dallas, Bears Drop 59, Josh Crushes Texans, Humbled Herbert, and Packers Collapse

[MUSIC] Welcome to Rear Fantasy Football Show. My name is Danny Heifetz and I'm sure I'm by Danny Kellen, Crack Coral, back end. The near giants are undefeated and other things. From week one of the NFL season footballs here, it's happening and Danny Kellen, the giants have never lost under Jon Harbott's never happened. >> I got to say masterful job with the reverse jinx, all that talk about Dak Prescott beating the giants every single time, blah, blah, blah, blah, expertly done by you, the giants absolutely dominated this game. I can't wait to talk about how lackluster the Cowboys looked in this game. >> Well, we could go a couple ways with this one. DK, do you think Heifetz has been reverse jinxing for months because I feel like in May and June, all of us collectively were like, do you have to pick who the 2025 Patriots of this year are? No, we were like, the giants are going to be great. >> Oh, right. >> We were like, dark look good, they have the defensive line, neighbors is coming back dark, and then we kind of completely got off them because Harbott had an embarrassing speech where he's seen Seenile. >> Right, that whole thing. >> Yes, and the question I would ask to you DK is the classic question. Better win for the giants or worse loss for the Cowboys. >> I think I have to, oh my gosh, that's actually really hard because the dude, the Cowboys looks horrific today. I would say better win for the giants, exercise the demons. I mean, there's just so many things to feel good about if you're the giants right now. Like, Kamp's Cadbury look great. Isaiah likely looks like an absolute game changer. Jackson Dart was totally efficient of the offensive play calling tandem of Greg Roman and Matt Nagy, absolutely picked apart the Cowboys. Harbott didn't make a really embarrassing speech, at least that I saw yet. Maybe that'll be coming later, but yeah. >> That was the other Harbott who had an embarrassing presser today. >> Right, and then neighbors look great too, so just all good things for the giants. I would say it was a very good win for them, exercising the demons, not being able to beat the Cowboys for a very long time. >> I think it was the biggest eight point blowout I've ever seen in my life. >> Seriously, yeah. >> This game was never more than two scores apart. It was never more than 14 points apart. And yet, this game felt like it was 40 to seven, the way that the individual units looked on the field. I have never seen more open past catchers in my life than when the giants, receivers, and titans against Dallas. >> This is the best. >> We are filibustering hyphids right now. >> Yeah, this is good. This is not, he'll come in in the next segment. >> I was like, at the beginning of the game, I was like, so heavy on the giants, being like the giants look unbelievable. And I still feel that way, and I'm like ready to say the giants are going to make the playoffs, because I didn't feel really, really good. I'll just pick them to win the NFC East. I don't give a fuck, but what's Colin's worth? I was like, yeah, the Cowboys, they don't have a game plan for throwing it out to the flat. And then the next play, they threw it again out to the flat to Devin Singletary for a tough son. I was like, oh, this might be the worst defense in the league. >> Hyphids are going to let you talk. >> Go. >> Go ahead. >> What do you think? >> And now for a conveniently timed advertising, right? >> God damn it. >> This episode is presented by Verizon. Let me tell you all about Verizon's new simplicity plan. You get one plan, one price, just $30 a line per month, even for a single line. So while everyone is running four trade analyzers before offering a backup tight end, Verizon said one plan, one price. Sometimes the simplest move is the best one, like the simplicity plan. Head to Verizon.com today. For new customers who switched to Verizon, $30 per line includes autopay and switch discount. Additional taxes, fees, and terms apply. >> We're back from the break. Hyphids, respond to all the things we just said. Did you drink your water, have a sip of water? >> He's like, hold on. >> Yeah. We've been winding you up like a toy story toy. Go ahead. You know, just keep going. Just keep talking about how great the giants are. I'm having a good time. Just keep going. >> I could keep going. You want me to keep going? >> No, not really. I want to start with this DK. I have heard Danny Kelly bitch and moan for 10 years about how the Giants don't score touchdowns. And you know what DK? Tonight they scored touchdowns. I want to start there. The Giants scored touchdowns. And this game was old school. There were full backs. There were long ass drives. The third quarter had two drives. Dak Prescott got through a pick. And he basically got two drives over the next 36 minutes of game time. And it was really cool to see the Giants just take names and kick ass and watch Cam's catapoeu batter just the Cowboys defense over and over. And I can't really explain why the Cowboys couldn't guard Devon single-terry other than I assume they forgot he was on the team. I don't really have an explanation for that. >> Yeah, is there a little bit in the back here head that's like, damn it, like why do they have to look so inept the Cowboys every game? Why do they have to look so inept on defense and ruin my night? Because honestly, look, I've seen plenty of really bad defensive performances over the year. I can't remember seeing one where the strategy was so clearly just gone. There was no strategy in which they were trying to stop the Giants. The flat routes were open on every single play. I think it was like the drive for the Giants right before the half. Where it was like three or four straight plays where someone was just wide open. >> It was not my drive. >> It was no good. >> It was like no one within 20 yards of the player. It was insane to me. I was like, what is he doing? >> It was like peak Ben Johnson on the Lions when you're like, there's no one near James and Williams. >> It was so easy. >> That's what I felt like hot knife through butter. So that was kind of wild to me. I was like, sorry, I feel real quick. That was one of the lamest performances I've ever seen. The Cowboys were completely listless. No juice, no energy, no intensity. They just looked like they couldn't wait for the game to be over and get out of there. Even though they were still within striking distance, like pretty much the whole game, as Craig said. I thought they were the flat. They looked so flat. It was completely frustrating. >> Ironically, they weren't flat at all. They couldn't find the flat. >> Oh, good. We got a stat from, it's not next-gen stats. It's next-gale stats from Austin Gale. And this came during the fourth quarter. I believe so it could have changed. I doubt it got any better. But this was the second worst EPA-per-drive performance for the Dallas defense since COVID. >> Yeah, it's pathetic. >> We were also at the last six drives. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, that perspective. >> Both things can be true. Toreco said it at the end of the game. Touched them all twice in the second half. Both drives were touchdowns. >> I think the Cowboys defensive coordinator, Christian Parker, who was very respected and was expected to turn the defense around, got put in the torture chamber by Greg Roman and Matt Nagy running the Giants offense, who I've always been excited about. >> Yeah. >> I've never, never said a bad word about them. They were fantastic. As Stephen Arise called them, the disgusting brothers. You know what? It was great. Are the Giants going to keep this up? After anyone and other than the Dallas defense, I have no idea. But it's just awesome. I said a lot this season. All I wanted from the Giants this season and what success is at a John Harboff for 2026 is just to be competitive. And the Giants have literally been dead last over the last decade or second to last in points and yards and time spent winning games. And they are first in time spent losing games and they're last in touchdowns and last in yards per game. Every instant advanced dumb, everything. They're literally the worst team in the NFL. And they've been eliminated from the playoffs. Nine of the last 10 Thanksgiving dinners I've had with my family. And all I wanted was the Giants to just be competitive. And then just coming out and just controlling the line of scripture in Dallas Cowboys game. I think it's been 16 years since I saw the Gi. Probably 2011, 2012 was the last time I saw the Giants control the line of scrimmage wire to wire against the Dallas Cowboys. I mentioned to you, Dak Prescott. Like they hadn't really beaten him in a legitimate game in 10 years. But like before the 10 years before that, the Cowboys had an awesome offensive line. And the combination of Abdel Carter was just flying around to win Mike Parsons shit against Dallas was awesome. Fuck them. Arvel Reese looks awesome, even if he just totally lost Javante Williams. Like the Giants have a lot of cool fun pieces. But the not like Malachi feels looks awesome. He's a random fourth round rookie receiver at a Notre Dame. He looks like Kirkland. He looks like Poverty T Higgins. I couldn't be more excited about this team. I love the Jackson Tark gave the ball to Malik neighbors at the end of the game. I feel really weird that they peer pressured Malik neighbors and did a siop to get him to play. But you know what? This was fucking awesome. I got to go back and watch that John Harbor video again where he's saying the New York Giants thing because I feel like it'll fire me up now. Yeah, that was cool. That was cool. Now the Tixitos are cool. Yeah, now I'm like this guy is a peak motivator. Estir motivator. Can we? I also want to say can I get should the Giants get two wins for this game because they also beat the referees who just insisted on making this game so much closer than it actually was because CD Lam was allowed to just two hand shove drew Phillips the corner back in the end zone away for touchdown. But the drew drew Phillips just like lightly brushes CD Lam's jersey and gets flagged and the Cowboys got to touch down off that. That was honestly a 14 points wing. I'm freaking like just call it one way or the other. But you know what, that doesn't matter. They wanted this game to be close. There were some calls coming in there on those CD Lam PIs, I think. - Can we talk about Camp Scat about for 60 seconds? - I would talk about 'em for the late die. - I think by Bar none, most fascinating player in the NFL to watch, just the party, one of the most fascinating human beings who's ever lived. You know how Bill, when Sequon first entered the league, was like, I've seen enough top five running back in the NFL and everybody kind of got out of him and then he was kind of right. I'm not saying Camp Scat it was top five running back in the NFL, but I think there is something about him that is better than his skill set suggests. Like Chris Collins was talking about it, how the giants are like a different team when he's in the field. He is like one of the more impactful players, even though maybe like from a measurable skill set, there's just something about when he has the ball on his hands up like this is gonna work and there's very few running backs I feel that way about but he's one of them. - This is something crazy that I noticed and this is pathetic. I'm gonna reference high school basketball. When I played high school basketball, there were certain players when they were on the court, the team just had way more energy and intensity and just played harder. I don't know what it is. - He's like, he's like Dremon, but running back. Sometimes you just, there's someone that's on the, on the quarter of the field or whatever it is with you and you're just like, oh my fucking. Like I'm gonna go. I feel like he just doesn't go down like that. His top skill set is trying and I just think it tries harder than anyone else on the field. - Effort and that's like the big thing. Honestly, it's a great point and it's really important in this game in particular because man, the Cowboys were just so fucking lackluster. I can't even begin, like the difference was incredible. In terms of intensity on one side for the Giants, they were just playing way harder and then the Cowboys didn't look like they gave a crap about anything and so yeah, that's a great point. Also, by the way, I know that I was anti-scataboo before the season. You guys got on me about that, you're mad about it. I saw him in a commercial where he was playing with his dogs. I'm fully back in on scataboo. - Oh yeah, for like the healthy dog food. - Yeah, I was like, okay, I get it. I like scataboo now, like that was pretty sick. I'm sorry, you're right. I'm ugly. - There's a lot of good, I'm ugly, you're smart. Ugly and smart, those aren't opposites. But there was a great tweet that said like, I think Cam scataboo was born with CTE and every hit slowly reverses it, which I thought was really good. - Giant's are good, I don't think we're dominating this conversation over hyphids, which is wild. - I don't think the Eagles are good. I don't think Dallas is good, and I don't think Washington's good. And I think the giants are good. So I don't know what we want to do with that. - Yeah. - The Eagles have a great defense, but I don't think he's despite what they did today on the govins of that good. I think the giants look really good, dude. They kind of look like the Ravens. I know that's a stupid comparison in obvious ones, but they kind of look like the Ravens. The way they're using Dart, like, I don't know. - Was the Patrick Ricard dominating or was it I say likely scoring two touchdowns and getting his feet in the ends at both times? - When the running Dart kind of old school, I feel like nowadays you kind of protect your star running quarterback in certain ways. I feel like Dart's just like firing himself into the fucking line, and it's really fun to watch. And also he was super accurate tonight. I mean, he granted these. - Nine for 11 on third down. - But he was calm, he felt very measured to me. Like he seemed like a real pro out there. I was very impressed. - I have literally never heard either of you speak this nicely about the giants combined in the history of the show. I think that I don't think you guys have ever been this nice about anything the giants have ever done. - Who's team of our three, of our three favorite teams? Which do we all support the most as a unit? - The Seahawks, 'cause DK's very lovable. - Yeah, that's probably right. It's not Pittsburgh. - It's not Pittsburgh. - It's not the giant something to tell you that. But don't you think the giants have never been an option? - Yeah. - In a pathetic way, in a pathetic way, but I don't think either of you root for the Steelers. - No, definitely not. - But you don't root for the giants? - Yeah, I want you to be happy. I have no issues with the giants being good. Same with Seattle. I feel like you. - No, they've been in the friend zone. They've never been like, they've never been threatened at all. - Exactly, exactly. - I don't know exactly a problem with the giants. - DK is right, they've been in the friend zone and now you guys look at Adam like, damn, they're hot. - Wait a minute, they had a glow up here. - Yeah. - I got to start worrying about this. - Is the giants play the Rams next week, which is like the ultimate test of vibes, where the Rams are coming in as the juggernaut, that star has already died, and now the giants or whatever the giants are now. Miles, if it's hurt. So it's a very fascinating situation here, where it's like, do you take the sober pill and take the Rams or are you gonna ride the wave and take the giants? - Craig, I was gonna say this. The you're the freaky Friday thing. I think the coasts have been switched. All of a sudden, L.A. teams had absolutely disastrous week. - And the New York team went off. - The giants get to tune out for the first time in 2009. - But something weird happening. - Maybe the polls flipped or something. - Well, it's like human in L.A. now. No one knows what to do. It's like 70% humidity. - Yeah. - Craig told, when we were down there in L.A., like two weeks ago, Craig told us that it was the most humid, it's ever been in L.A., ever. - That's correct. - The history of Los Angeles weather charting. And it was the most humid it has ever been. - Great. - It was the most human city in America when you guys were there. Like what the fuck? - Something's going on. - Yeah. - I'm in DC, it doesn't phase me. I, yeah, this was cool. It's cool to see the giants wanna know. It gives what it gets to the rest of the games. - Yeah. - I'm excited, man. This is our first Sunday recap. It's midnight in Toronto. I'm doing the hyphids time zone today. - The sun's like a Drake song, midnight in Toronto. - Yeah, you guys are extra loopy today, 'cause you're both East Coast. - Yeah. - I'm living in paradise over here on the West side. - So, it's 8.50. - Fuck yourself. - You can never get out here like us. - Probably. - All right, DK, your winner, I get it. Give us, DK, who's your first winner of Sunday week one? - I'm gonna go with Josh Allen. - Of the Buffalo Bills. - For absolutely taking-- - He's on the Bills? - Okay. - Yes, on the Buffalo Bills. - Don't get him to stop saying teams. We just fucking taught him to say the name of the team with the fire. - Finally. - So he did it. - Six years. - But they forget him to do that. - Do you think there's a little bit of a shot to credibility to have to say Josh Allen of the Buffalo Bills? - Yes, I wish he wouldn't do it with that one, but when he's just like, you're shot white, I'm like, say Washington, please. - Josh Allen of the Buffalo Williams. - Steph Curry of the Golden State Warriors had a good game today. - We're doing the draft to take his name and safety's in the fourth round. It just won't say like, what college they went to or a team they were drafted by. - I'll never do it again, all right Craig G's. - Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. - The Bills won 36 to 31. They won 36 to 1, I tell you like that. I said the score too. The Texans came in with like a sterling reputation. One of the greatest defenses we've ever seen in the last like, whatever, five years. - A lot of us. - Josh Allen absolutely just picked him apart. It was absolutely crazy. In Houston. And I just thought it was extremely impressive. I do know and I do recognize that he almost threw the game losing pick. And that we shouldn't totally lose track of that. But the next play, he went right back at Kamari Lasseter, hit the game winning touchdown. What was eventually the game winning touchdown. And he had an incredible game. Over 300 passing yards. The first time that happened since 2024 against a Houston defense. A four total touchdowns, two passing, two rushing. He had another Lieutenant Ronald Spears run through the Nazi lines. - America. - Pretty much every game. - Lieutenant for the United States of America. You gotta say the team. - Yeah, he was, Lieutenant Ronald Spears was playing for America. - The Allies. - Back in the Normandy invasion. Yeah. Anyways, he had a great game. And the bill's offense looked awesome. - I thought Josh Allen looked really happy genuinely to have a number one water receiver. DJ Moore had a hundred yards in a touchdown. And after that weird kind of fluke, like 40 yard touchdown on the sideline where the defender kind of flew past DJ Moore. He kind of tiptoed as he caught it. And then he had an open lane to the end zone. Josh Allen was just smiling. Like it looked like. - Just, just hoping. Just having fun. - He was like, finally, I feel like I have a weapon that is somewhat suitable to my skill set. Dalton Concade also looked awesome. Had like 130 yards in a touchdown. The offense felt much more well-rounded with Shakir and with Moore and Concade. I will never tell somebody not to draft Josh Allen as early as you want in a never fails. - Yeah, 40 points. - Today? - Yeah. - My wife, all year. Or I'll often see her in the run-up to fantasy drafts. I was like, I want a good quarterback. Every year you tell me to wait and quarterback and I regret it. So I'm not gonna do that. And she took Josh Allen. And she had a great day. She was just like loving life. - Yeah. But Josh Allen, I mean, this is an incredible status off from this guy. It's not NFL research. It's a person whose handles NFL researcher, which isn't quite as legit. But it is correct. Since Josh Allen was drafted, the only player with more rushing touchdowns than Josh Allen is Derek Henry. - Wild. - You had two more than I think, right? - Would you say? - Yeah. - Yeah, two rushing touchdowns today. - I love this game. I mean, it's funny because you're right to point out DK that Josh gets all the flowers and the Texans get, like the defense is gonna get knocked. But Josh Allen did throw the game losing pick and the Texans dropped it. And then the Texans just completely dropped the ball and crashed out from that moment on. - That's football. - Yeah. Also look, I would like to point out that I thought the Texans looked pretty good. And if I were a Texans fan, I'd be okay with this. Okay, Josh Allen scored 36 points on you. It is what it is. I thought Stroud looked pretty good. I thought they were able to move the ball on the ground. David Montgomery had three touchdowns. Nico Collins looked great. Okay, Sean. booty made a big play. I'm like, the offensive line I thought was better until that last drive. I thought the Texans offense looked serviceable today. And I think they could go deep in the playoffs. I agree. I will say that bills, the two touchdowns the bills had were, fluke is the wrong word, but they were just Josh Alleny. There were things that don't happen to like 29 or 30 other teams. Maybe it's Josh Lamar, one other person like Jackson Dart, obviously, but it was the, yeah, the touchdown that Josh Allen had, the first rushing touchdown was like perfect coverage. And they were just kind of playing man coverage in the red zone. And no one was on Josh Allen. And then like he just kind of was like, oh, and he just ran and it was kind of weird. The Texans didn't have a plan for man coverage for Josh Allen, where everyone's back is turned. And the other one was that throw to DJ Moore, where Reed Blankenship kind of came over. He was the safety and he was trying to intercept the pass. And a quarter of a second late feels too big. Like Reed Blankenship was like an eighth of a second late to intercepting this past. That was a wild play. So DJ Moore catches it. And it was like the late, it was the closest you could possibly be intercepting a pass without, without disrupting the pass. So teaching more than gets this rundown and score 30 our touchdown. If that wasn't Josh Allen throwing the ball, it probably would have been like a tick later and just been intercepted. And so like that's if that's like two 14 points wings right there. Just those two plays where the Texas defense was even playing poorly. But Josh played well, but I think CJ Stroud played worse at the end than Josh Allen played good. I know I was going to say like I growth Craig very encouraging overall from the offense like they could run the ball. I think Craig texted during the day. The Texans can run like it's like this crazy idea. It's like, oh, happy learned how to putt. Am I right? I feel much better about the Texans offensively. Yeah. But at the end of the day, you know, Stroud kind of did what he did. The thing you're afraid he was going to do, which is completely kind of meltdown when it really mattered. And that's why he kind of did. I mean, he's like bad couple of plays. I don't know if it was a meltdown. He got stripped in the pocket. Well, yes. I guess meltdown is probably strong, but he crumbled when it was like important. Yeah. He fucking crumbled when it was important. He let's put him down like a 15 yard line. But yeah, he did. But the the announcer, it's funny. If you play the clip, the announcer is literally like, you got to go out of bounds or in zone. You got no timeouts out of bounds or in zone out of bounds or in zone. And then he just gets sacked and fumbles the ball away on third down and goal with the game on the line. And the funniest part is there's six blockers for three goddamn pass rushers. The bills rushed for him. One of them dropped as a spy. It was three pass rushers versus six blockers. And CJ Stroud took a sack. And that's on everyone. Like it is so embarrassing that the line couldn't protect him. But he also not being able to navigate it in that situation with so much on the line. It just again, you've had eight months to think about this. Like he fumbled five times in a goddamn playoff game. And they wanted to spite you. And then you somehow like you played even worse against New England. Like we kept joking, but we're half serious that if the Texans had just punted every time instead of having CJ Stroud throw in the playoffs, the Texas might have beaten the Patriots in the playoffs. And then eight months in, you can't just melt again at the end of the thing. It's like that you are the thing between the Texans and the Super Bowl. I it was I was very disheartening. Oh, it's funny. My takeaway is I'm encouraged by the Texans offense. I'm encouraged. I think the defense will be fine. I need to see CJ Stroud not melt in those moments. It would be really nice. I agree that it's like they lost to the bills. They played a good game. They probably should have beaten them. Yeah. I'm not like worried about the Texans, but I'm worried that I'm worried about the Texans being the best team in the NFL. If that makes sense. Yeah. That's fair. We have a high bar for them because we think they're capable of like actually maybe winning the Super Bowl. They don't. What was the only thing we said said about the Texans all off season? It was like if CJ Stroud gets a shit together, they can win the Super Bowl. And he immediately just did the thing everyone was worried about. He's like the new Sam Darnold. Yeah. Yeah. It's actually eerily similar to what Darnold, how Darnold started last season, who, you know, they were driving against the 49ers week one. And he got stripped and lost the ball. Yeah. It looks lost to 49ers. They went on to win the Super Bowl. So maybe that's what will happen with the Texans. We'll see. And I will say before I keep going, I do want to just note about this week overall. I meant to say this at the beginning, but I was overwhelmed by how much you guys like the Giants. This was a weird week one. Week one has for years been sloppy on offense. The unders always hit the teams with the points like generally win. And it's like they're all weird and we kind of hop on the show for the first couple of weeks and we're like, Hey, it's the preseason. None of the timing, the rhythm and the quarterbacking is that good. Nothing's that Chris the blocking. No one's been hitting. No one's been playing the preseason. It just looks bad for a couple weeks. And this week happens. And this that was incredible. This was before Sunday night football, but I think it's pretty basically still true. Some Josh do bow at the AP teams have combined to score an average of 50 points per games through week one. That would be the highest average scoring week one since 1962, which I think is including like the AFL. So like basically the it's the Super Bowl era period. The highest scoring week one ever, which is kind of shocking because none of these guys even played in the preseason really. So it was incredibly high scoring week overall. It did feel like there was a lot of ginormous fantasy performances this week. Like that I don't usually like think about with week one. The fact that there was like receivers are running back just going nuts. Usually like you said, it's like these really messy games with penalties. I did think there was like a lot of fumbling and stuff this week, but it was bizarre. I mean, it's mostly because the bills, I mean, the bear is just dragging me out of jump because they scored 59 goddamn points. But yeah, I totally agree. This felt like a big 12 week. So speaking of which Craig, who is who is your biggest loser for this week? I think it's got to be the Chargers who easily my goodness, dude. Like are we ready to do a Miyakulpa? We can get into that. But like first of all, so they lost 26 to 14 to the Cardinals. And I need to do a Miyakulpa for being on the Chargers or against the Cardinals because I think this is like a good two for one opportunity for me. That's very true. I would say much more that we were into the Chargers to do it. They lost 26 14. Game never felt and reached to be honest. Like the Cardinals marched down score. They go up seven zero. The Chargers respond. They march right down the field. They throw like three straight like back to back to back 20 yard passes to Lad Maconkey. So he had like 60 yards and one drive. And then O'Marion Hampton runs in a touchdown and looks like a cyborg. And I was like, Holy shit, it's seven seven. Chargers are going to win by 30. They scored seven points for the rest of the three and a half quarters in the game. They were outgained by the Cardinals by a hundred yards. It couldn't move the ball. The offensive line was completely inept. They were rotating guards. Harba kind of had no answer for that in the press conference. It was the quietest stadium I think I've ever heard. The either weren't fans either weren't, I don't think there are many fans that are beginning with. But the ones who were there were dead silent. It was like COVID. It was the quietest one since COVID. Dude, a people, Lad got hurt. Lambert Smith got hurt. Davis got hurt. The whole team was completely discombobulated. Herbert didn't look good. The offensive line looked like a mess. I was just, it was one plate. It laid in the second half where two Cardinals' rushers just like went right through the line. No one blocked them and just smashed Herbert. I was like, this is just great. This is going so well. You know what it kind of reminded me of watching the Cardinals' offense versus the chargers was the chargers were doing trying to do a lot. It seems like all of their motions and all that stuff was like just out of rhythm. You could just tell it wasn't quite right. They didn't quite have it down yet. And then Jacobi Berset was just dropping back and fucking ripping passes. And it's like that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where it's the gun versus the sword. And I feel like the chargers were swinging the sword around. And then Jacobi Berset's like, I'm just going to fucking throw a missile to Trey McBride every single time. And it worked. And the chargers looked terrible. And I don't know what to do. It's not even that the chargers lost to the Cardinals. They looked horrible. They got their ass beat and they were outskied. I completely agree. Outgun, outman, outskamed. It was the rare like the chargers were completely outplanned, which I think is embarrassing not only for Mike McDady, but also for Jim Harbaw. And they were completely outfisicled, which is also really concerning. Like the chargers like they got the defense again, losing Jesse. I think I thought too much about Jesse Minter running the Ravens and not enough about Jesse Minter leaving the chargers defense. And I the chargers were neutered in a past rush. They have no they have no physicality on the on the defensive line whatsoever. But then Herbert, I I kind of spiritually did the like backing away from the person in the middle of this, if I'm being totally honest, like every quarter that went by, I feel like I had mentally taken two steps further away from everything I've said about Justin Herbert. Like I just was like, what the I don't know. I thought this was they were inexplicably unprepared for this game. What if we had to do like a like a chargers excuses power ranking? How would we do that? What would you say is number one? The guards are terrible and we're underrating how how important that is. Oh, yeah, yeah. I got to start week one. Doesn't matter. The Patriot speed. The Patriots lost to the Raiders. We will measure week one. I think it's got to be like the offense is so complicated. It's going to take time. Right. Yeah. Marinating. It's a complicated offensive coordinator. They're just getting they're just getting on the same page. They didn't play that much in the season. They actually looked pretty good until lad went down. Yeah, the Trevor Sikama had the good stat. Lad Maconkey went out. Chargers Philip. The charges yards per pass got cut in half more than half actually once the lad went out. Yeah. So you're just playing around lad who never gets hurt. Now that's, that's a good plan. - Dude, if you look at the charger schedule now, so next week they play the Raiders, which is now not looking like an easy game. Then, after the Raiders in week two, they play at Buffalo, at Seattle, home versus Denver, at Kansas City, the Rams, and then home versus Houston, and then at Baltimore. Those are in order, there's no jets in the middle of that. - Oh. - This is, looks dark very quick. So Buffalo, who was a brand and cooks catch for making the AFC Championship game, Seattle won the Super Bowl. Broncos should have made the Super Bowl. Kansas City made seven straight AFC Championship games. The Rams are the Super Bowl favorites. The Texans have the best defense in the AFC, and then the Ravens a week done. - So, are you not great, that's fucking great. That, that already was bad before the season. Now that they lost to the Cardinals that is disgusting. - Here's my question. - Okay. - You don't get an opportunity, you're not gonna get an opportunity to reverse this later. I need you to just answer it right now. - Okay. - You have an opportunity to just say, this is our opportunity, this is our chance to buy low and say that it was just a week one aeration, or are we just jumping off ship and staying off? Like, we can't get back on for the rest of the season. Are you ready to jump off? - No. - I think you have to, I'm Irish, she'll do this forever. - I'll never die. - Remember, the Patriots lost to the Raiders in week one last year. - Exactly. - It doesn't matter. - So they had an extremely easy start. - No, but I'm like, the chargers do. But, you know, the week one thing is really important to keep in mind. - Yeah. - I really feel like the chargers thing is this like rick, that I just stepped on every year for the 20th anniversary of the chargers. I don't know. - I'm on the edge, I'm about ready to jump off. - So, I don't blame you, so let's have the chargers. - So the soleck are the staff that I think nails it. The chargers averaged a third and 12 today. Their average third down was third and 12, which would have tied for the worst number any game, any season, any game of last season. Third and 12 on average. And it's like, well, that, you've no interior line. - I think I'm ready to be like, I'm sorry for talking about the chargers this off season. Please forgive me someday. I know that it's gonna take a while. You're probably really angry at me. I'm out, I'm out. I'm not gonna associate myself with this. - You know, when Jay Cole, Jay, so the Kendrick Drake Lamar, the Kendrick Lamar Drake beef, it was originally Kendrick for a Drake and Jay Cole. And Jay Cole just got a phone call. It was like, someone's like, you should leave, you should quit. And Jay Cole made one verse against Kendrick, and he just like put an Instagram up. It was like, I am retiring from this beef. I'm out. And that took like two days. - I think I'm out. - That's the TKC. - It's probably smart. - With that schedule. - It's like that schedule in particular. Like if they had an easier schedule, I'd probably be like, hold strong. We're gonna do this. It's damn the torpedoes, you know, like whatever. I'm pretty much like, I give up. I'm waving the flag. - It's like the people who move in the horror movie, who move into the house. The house is doing weird things, and they just died this day. It's like. - People told you it was haunted. - It's like the charges playing Widow's Bay. Like I don't know what the fuck's going on. It's your neighborhood. - You're like, it's not haunted. And then you get there, you're like, fuck. - I don't believe in curses, curses, but there's something happening here. - I ignore the schedule thing. - All protocols are back. And it's like, yeah, but now the guards suck. I'm like, what the fuck? (laughing) - And Biot, I just, the schedule thing was there, the whole offseason, and Biotish went down, and it was kinda like, yeah, and it drafted whatever. It's they suck. I got, I need them to be good next week. The Ringer Fantasy football show is brought to you by Fandall. Monday night football just got a whole lot more rewarding on Fandall, Broncos, Chiefs, and with the reward escalator what happens in the field can unlock even more profit boosts. Bet Monday night's game with your 30% profit boost than keep an eye on what happens on the field. If both teams score a touchdown, you'll get a 25% profit boost. If any player goes for 100 or more receiving arts, you get a 50% profit boost. And if Broncos Chiefs turns into a shootout with seven or more total touchdowns, you'll get a 100% profit boost. We took our teaser for Broncos Chiefs. We have the Broncos getting eight and a half and the under on the game. So we're bringing back the teaser to Fandall. This was Bill's idea. And so we got six point teasers back. So we can tease the Broncos getting eight and a half points with the under, which we just liked that, 'cause we just liked the Broncos defense versus the Chiefs and the rookie undrafted for Asian left tackle that we'll be playing for the Kansas City Chiefs. So make this your most rewarding season ever with Fandall. 21 plus select states or 18 plus DC or Wyoming, opt in required bonus issued is nonwithdrawable profit boost tokens, restriction supply, C terms at sportsbook. dot fandall.com. Gambling problem called 1-800 gambler, call 1-888-789-77777, or visit ccpg.org/chat in Connecticut. Okay, my winner, speaking of the chargers, who are rave, the Baltimore Ravens. I think they're a huge winner. Jesse Mintor left the chargers defensive coordinator position to be the Ravens head coach. I already think it looks incredible. The Ravens beat the close 41 to 23. Derek Henry had an incredible game. The Ravens had a good wins. They flowers look good. I think the headline though has to be Lamar Jackson is back. Like MVP Lamar is back. Lamar has juice again. And he looks faster. Lamar looks more decisive. And crucially Lamar has his defining trade back, which is he looks untacklable. He's twitchy. He cannot be touched in the pocket. He looks like Barry Sanders is playing quarterback again. And he had that third in 18. And he dropped back and no one's open. And he stepped up in the pocket and no one's open. And then he just ran for 18 yards. And it looks so easy. And I'm like, most quarterbacks live and die and never scramble for 18 yards at third and 18. And he made it look so easy. And he just had so many plays like that. Throws, runs, everything. And I just feel like it's been a minute since I saw him feel like back to the peak of his powers. And I feel like it was pretty apparent right from the very first offensive play they took away. I think it was a play action rollout. And he hit Zayf hours for 49 yards. I was like, oh god, this is going to work. Zayf hours had 150 yards and like half. Yeah, by the half by half, he had a career high in yards. And he'd score a touchdown, which is he never does. So we're like, this is a whole new thing. And then, of course, Zayf hours got hurt. Also Jacobi Lane got hurt. So they're kind of broke his wrist hurting at receiver right now. But I don't know if it'll matter because they're just so good with what the way the charges of Ravens combined are down five receivers. Can we have one crazy? Yeah, but the way that this offense is run, like, Derek Henry looked like a horse again. Lamar looked great. They were getting guys open. This Declan Doyle guy, I don't know, man, that was a pretty fucking impressive first performance. The third youngest offensive coordinator. Sorry, the fourth youngest offensive coordinator ever, Declan Doyle. Just everything was working for them. And the way that they were sequencing plays together, the way that the things that they were focusing on just felt like it really was really working. And obviously, Zayf hours looked awesome until he got hurt. But yeah. So the Declan Doyle thing. He's the first of the Ben Johnson coaching tree. Yeah. So it's the Ben Johnson coaching tree today of Ben Johnson and Johnson today. They combined for 100 points. Pretty good. Derek Henry, 24 carries 140 yards, 144 yards, three touchdowns. Number one running back this week, Derek Henry. Past Marcus Allen for the third most touchdowns of all time, rushing touchdowns. Derek Henry is now only behind Emmett Smith and Ladinian Thomson for rushing touchdowns. He also, this is a random stat. But he passed Jim Brown for the most games in NFL history, where he had a hundred rushing yards and two rushing touchdowns. Which I know. So the stats are weird era. I mean, the teams were just run. Like that was the most important thing by far in those days. I mean, this is very much a passing league now. The fact that he's, you know, even getting close to Jim Brown, numbers on stuff is crazy. I could talk about Derek Henry for a long time. But he has nine touchdowns for the last four games. I feel like he's also is like returning to where his peak was like four years ago. He looks even better than he did two years ago when he almost had two thousand rushing yards. So I am, the Ravens just look incredible. I'm glad we didn't really like bail on them this off season because I really do feel like Lamar just had an hamstring injury. Like I really just feel like Lamar was just hurt and played through it and tried his best. And it wasn't working out. And the coaching staff was a little stale. And I think that was it. So Declan Doyle was obviously great. But like I, I, I never once really considered if Lamar wasn't good anymore or Derek Henry, like wasn't good. - No, and so I think the Ravens again, I thought they would make the Super Bowl and I felt less crazy today. So I Lamar, but Lamar's back. I really think that's the headline is like, I think Lamar is fully in the running for MVP, all those things. But I will say Declan Doyle, we have to pay respects to, you know, the tree. It's just two people. But Ben Johnson and the Bears. - It's begun. - We have a new category here. - The branch has sprouted. - Can you explain this new category we're going to do here? We're calling it problem of the day. - Yeah, it was the biggest problem of the day. It's very modern coded. We, you know, last year, last two years, it was the Oppenheimer Award. But that movie's old now. Christopher, no one's already had a different movie come out. And so this category is basically like the fantasy winner of the day, aka, who was a fucking problem out there? You guys gotta be a problem. Yeah, this is the guy who in the edit on TikTok is like, Malik neighbors was a problem in 2024. And it's just him dicing people up running slants. That's what this category is. - My problem of the day was the bears. Caleb Williams in particular. I think it has to be Caleb Williams. - Only a couple bears, weirdly. - Well, Caleb Williams is a problem. Some other bears are problems. But the bears won 5937, 59 points. First of all, it's the third most points the bears have ever scored. It's the most the bears have scored since 1980. And it's the first of the, the bears needed four weeks to score four 59 points last year. Like they, they look like the bears have been like every other year scoring 59 points in all of September for like the last 25 years. Like they go entire months of that scoring 60 points. - It's really the most the bears have ever scored because I believe it's the most they've ever scored without a return touchdown. So it's like the most the offense has ever put on. They won the 1940 NFL championship 70 is zero. I'll have you know. - But were there return touchdowns in those games? - Who knows? - They had a reason. - The Korean touchdowns back then, Craig. Who knows? - Well, I'm just saying, I probably saw, I've discovered a stat that said this was their best offensive performance ever. - It probably was. - Don't count, return touchdowns. - I think, I think the real question to have for you guys. So this was the most points the, any team scored in week one since the Ravens in 2019. And that was like the year Lamar was like Lamar and the Ravens were just like Lamar won the unanimous MVP. - How many points did they put up in that game? They put up 60? - The Ravens won 59 to zero against the Dolphins. - They tied it, got it, got it. - Yeah, they tied the number. But I think that that's important because that is like the year the Ravens were the Ravens. Lamar was the unanimous MVP. The Ravens were like 14 and two. And it was like the arrival. And Ben Johnson has been saying, I want to set the scoring record. I don't want to just go undefeated. I want to set the scoring record. And I kind of thought he was just talking out of his ass. And I'm realizing now. - Kind of a wild thing to say. - It's a wild thing to say. And I'm realizing now, I think it's very intentional. I think Ben Johnson is trying to do the offense when championships thing because it's like, he keeps comparing it to Broncos in 2013. Well, they made the Super Bowl and they got waxed by the Seahawks but like the Bears defense sucks. I actually think Ben Johnson actually believes and after this game it's like a reality. Like the Bears think they're that good. I know it was the Panthers, but they're actually are gonna try and run up the score and all these goddamn teams. Yeah, Ben Johnson kind of speaks like a college coach. That like motivating press conference quote is very, you don't see a lot of NFL coaches really speak like that. Like Ben Johnson saying, I want to lead the league in points. We're gonna run up the score. Like that's a very college way of speaking. - I made fun of it a lot writing for the ringer by that 2019. John Harbock kept comparing the Ravens offense to the iPhone, the adventure of the iPhone. And I was like, that's the worst possible comparison you could make and then they came out and scored 59 points a week one. - This must have been so fucking satisfying for Bears fans to watch this 291 yards on the ground. They averaged seven and a half yards per carry on 39 carries. - Dude. - Who does that sound like? - It sounds like the 39 of the Lions. - Yeah, yeah. - The Schumer gives Dave Montgomery where it's like they just can't stop scoring Russian. - There's something, something primal. I know that passing is like sexy and fun and it's like more explosive and exciting or whatever. But there's something primal about fucking running for almost 300 yards and scoring 59 points by doing that. Caleb had a great game and he was very efficient with the ball, 21 and 29, 269 yards and a touchdowns. So he was super efficient as a passer. - He also ran for 65 yards. - Yeah, it is when he's running and the just overall the team's running. Like Kyle Menongai had like a 70 yard run for a touchdown. DeAndre Swift looks awesome. He just got signed to an extension. He looks like he has turned over a new leaf. He's just so much more decisive. I feel like, I don't know. It just, I just think this type of way of winning is so fun to watch when you can just run and like they cannot stop you. - To that point, D.K. - To that point of the last seven NFL games with 250 rushing yards by a team that bears a four of the last seven. Like they are the team that runs on people now. And I want to know, Caleb and then come back to Ben Johnson. Caleb Williams played so well today. You read those stats, D.K. We counted for four touchdowns. I used to be tepid saying this. Caleb, I don't care if I repeat myself. Caleb Williams is Aaron Rodgers. Like it is unbelievable how much his game is-- - In his game is-- - In all ways, in all ways. He thinks there's a civilization under Antarctica. He's convincing his receivers of it. But Caleb Williams had some throws in this game. The touchdown to Colcomat, where he rolled right and then dropped it in a bucket. Like 40 yards downfield into the end zone was unbelievable. He had this one throw where he rolled left. And then like honestly looked like a short stop throwing to first base. Like he just like flipped his hips and jumped and just threw a dot to Cleef Raymond. And I think he had Cleef Raymond so hard that he freaking out broke his ribs or something. I don't know. But the amount of throws in this game that Caleb Williams looked on, like the scrambles. He hit a dig route to Luther Burden on second and 10 that set him up at the 30. And then that was just like such an effortless dart. And then the next place scrambles 30 yards and kind of gallops untouched into the end zone. And the list of people who can do those things at the same, like those back-to-back plays of like the arm strength to sit in the pocket and hit a dig and then scramble the way it's Josh, it's Lamar and like I guess my homes. And that's kind of the list. I was, I don't know. I can't say enough of that. - He kind of homesy in the way that he moves. Have you guys noticed this? Like he's got a very herky jerky. - He does. - The style, like the way that he runs. Like his helter, skilter, limbs are all over the place. - He's like hold the ball like a coconut, like running around, like just he, he's just very kind of awkward but he also has just the elasticity with his arm. Well, Heifetz is talking about the play where he's like rolling out to his left and then through across his body just laser pass down the field. He has to go very, his biomechanics are kind of my homesy in the way that he can like bend his body and get throws off and stuff. Caleb has the Patrick Homes. How fast does he? I don't know. He's just faster than whoever's chasing. - Dude, he went 20 miles an hour twice in this game. - Oh really, he's as fast as he needs to be. - Yeah. But I think he's the best thrower across his body right now. Like the way, I think he can turn himself around and square his hips up better than anyone. Like you said, DK, elastic is a great word for it. He's like Mrs. Incredible. He can like just bend his body in weird ways. - It's unbelievable. And the Bears works, again, but then random people, like I just, I don't know. I just, the Bears were unbelievable. - On a scale, I wanted to just run out of fucking points. - How worried are you about this defense? 'Cause Bryce Young fucking picked them apart. - Jalen Kocher came out and had like a, but what was Jalen Kocher's final line in this game? - I had like a hundred and thirty yards. - Jalen Kocher looked like Tarell Owens today. So yeah, no, I'm worried about it. I think the Bears are the Bengals to Cowboys now, except the Cowboys aren't the Cowboys. So I think the Bears are the new shootout team. Everyone's gonna play. It's gonna look like that. - Kayla is the QB-1, 37 points. Deandra Swift is the number two running back, 32 points. - Yeah. - Kocher might have been the number one receiver too. - He was up there. - DK, who is your problem? - Your problem. - Got to be a problem. Trevor Lawrence, I mean, one of the most efficient games I've ever seen, he was an absolute problem out there. You guys. You want me to go continue or do you want to weigh in? - I want you to hear you say problem again. - Trevor Lawrence is gonna be a problem. I'm starting to, I know that this was the Browns. They beat the Browns by the way. - The game was over so fast. - This game was over so fast. - This was the Browns, they were up 31 to 9 to 3. - I can't believe we didn't take the Jags and bring it one to seven. I don't know what I was thinking. I'll take two. - I went to a movie today at TIFF and I missed the first like 20 minutes of the day. And I got in and it was like 14 zero Jags and Parker Washington had 70 yards in a touchdown. I was like holy shit. - I'm starting to think Liam Cohen might be like on that level of the Ben Johnson's, the McVays, the Shanahan's of the world. All these really smart offensive coordinators slash play callers who just know how to get guys open and can do it kind of just very consistently. I think Lawrence in this game, the words I wrote down, methodical, diabolical, surgical. It was one of the most efficient. Yeah, totally, that's me. I love those things to the M&M, like how M&M wraps, like methodical, diabolical, surgical. A lot of napkins. - I absolutely refuse to even pretend to wrap, so I'm not gonna do that. But he had 245 yards, four touchdowns, 150 pass rating, his EPA per dropback was 0.65. That doesn't really mean a lot to most people, but like basically more than half a point per dropback in expected points. He was out there absolutely dealing. He had 23 throws, and they scored 31 to nothing in the throw. - It was basically a perfect game. - Yeah, 68% success rate on offense, Trevor Lawrence was. I mean, that's absurd. That's like shooting free throws. So I don't know. I just think overall this offense looked really, really crisp. The Browns offense sucks, but I think they have some talent on defense. This wasn't like some crappy piece of shit defense. I mean, maybe they are. I don't know who knows where they are really. Their offense, I think, is just so bad. It's gonna drag the whole team down for the whole year. But just really impressed with Trevor Lawrence. He didn't do any of it with his legs. I think he had like three rushing yards or something like that. It was all just picking apart the defense and Parker Washington also might be a confirmed problem this year, you guys. We talked about it all the season. - Confirmed. - There was some, I think there was a certain level of doubt that what we saw late in the last season with Parker Washington. was actually real and that what he would, that would continue on and carry over to this season. I mean, based on one game, it absolutely has. He had five catches, 83 yards in a touchdown, 28% target rate. The next closest pass catcher on the team was Brenton Strange and Brian Thomas Jr. with 14% target rate. And Brian Thomas got hurt. Yeah. And so he was very clearly the number one receiver in this offense. Washington was, he looked great. So I don't know. I'm just really excited about this, this Jags offense. Yeah. And what Parker did was basically in one half. They really didn't do a whole lot in the same half. Also, I want to point out two things, two similarities between the last two problems that we've named the Bears and the Jags. This is year two in the system. I am furious at myself because the first momentum tattoo I wrote down at the end of last year was just bet on the Jags and Bears where you have no one prospects with a lot of talent in the same system with a confirmed elite head coach and do that instead of trying to guess which of these random coordinators will be good. The newbies. And yeah, we should have just, well, I guess we did right. The really. It's why this next team I want to talk about, I think next year will be a great year to bet on them. But there was a problem today out out in, out in Las Vegas. And his name was Ashton Gentie, who yeah, I don't know what happened to that man's ankle a month ago. But it seems perfectly fine. He touched the ball 29 times today, which is tied for the most in his career. And put up 150 yards and two touchdowns. He looked as good as you could want him to look, as advertised. First round pick. He deserved to go whatever he went fifth overall. He looks like, he's one of the more unique runners, I think in the NFL right now. He has this like, they were talking about how much he cares about balance is an hour every day in the off season. He would just focus on doing balance work. And he really does look like if Alvin Camera was like inside of Marie's Jones Drew's body or something like that. He's this like stout little bowl ball. That's interesting. Yeah, yeah. Who can't get knocked off his access. He just like doesn't go down. He's like a gyroscope where unless he's doing a 360 degree flip forward. Yeah. And even then he kind of landed like a cat. He kind of did flip like dude. He flew it. I took a look at that. He flew through the air five, that's 15 feet. He he flew through the air five yards. Imagine if that happened to one of us. What would happen if we flew 15 feet? We'd never stop talking about it. I don't know if that's a lot or not, but it feels like a lot. Like if you went flying 15 feet, wouldn't you be like dead? It looked like he was like got launched off one of those blobs on a lake. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I thought he was unbelievable. It looks like the physics don't apply to him the way they do for other people. And there's there's one stat I wanted to point out that I was curious about. We talked about this a lot in the off season. The the Gen T yards before contact thing. And it was a big reason why we were excited about Derek Henry going to Baltimore because the yards before contact in Tennessee was not great. And what Baltimore was able to do with Lamar. Any running back you gave the ball to wasn't getting touched for two three yards. Gen T's yards record for yards before contact last year were like all time bad. Like bottom five out of 700 running back to the last 70 years. It was close to zero. So I looked at just today's game. And I know they played the dolphins. But if you exclude one dumb game where he had six carries last year, today was the only game in Gen T's career where he had over two yards before contact. And I think that's Clint Kubiak. And I think the offensive line looks pretty good today. Again, caveat dolphins. But like I now believe in this system. And I believe in Gen T. And his ankle seems fine. And I think the people who bet on guys like Gen T and Jeremiah love who also played today with an ankle injury and look pretty good. Gen T looks like a first run pick. And you probably got him in the second round. And this this run game is looks totally real to me. The ankle watching my I had an intrusive thought during this game. We're watching because on the screens watching O'Maring Hampton and the charges side by side with Ash and Gen T on the raiders. And I'm watching and I'm like, I actually had a quarter second was like, which of these guys hurt their ankle like two weeks ago? Like if you had just told me one of these players sprang their ankle and maybe had a high school spread two weeks ago, I would have bet thousands of dollars. It was like O'Maring Hampton instead of Ash and Gen T. Like Ash and Gen T looked 100% healthy. Dude, I had this thought during the game. It's borderline annoying. Like what happened to his ankle? You know what I mean? Why did you make us doubt him? I had this thought during the games today. It was such a funny. I think that teams did such a good job of giving us a very usable comparison between great players and like league average players. And in several different games. If you watch the difference watching Beigeon Robinson run versus Brian Robinson want run today, you were like holy shit. He is in a whole different stratosphere. Like it's the difference is insane to watch. Like just the way they move, just the way they run. The way they get up off the ground is mesmerizing. Yeah. I think Gen T versus Mike Washington. Mike Washington I think will be a good player in the league and whatever. He'll be a good like, you know, counter to whatever when how are they used Gen T. But clearly doesn't move in remotely the same way. And then I think the same was like with Al Jair and Jeremiah love. We're like holy shit Jeremiah love just moves different. And then you watch Al Jair, he's like, oh, he's picking up yards, but he is just. He's playing with weights around his legs. Right. Totally. So I had that thought like several different times today. I was like, damn. The difference between this guy and this guy is so, so apparent. It's very important to watch Beigeon run compared to Brian Robinson and then realize that's why teams still get so high even though he's running back because it's like holy shit. Yeah, they're like, you see this? Like I can't not take this player. All right. The next it's so over. We're so back. My favorite category. Actually, second favorite. We'll get you go first. Me? Yeah. So back. The Steelers are so fucking back. We want a messy ugly low scoring game. Looked mildly exciting. Defense was pretty solid. Steelers are back. We're so back. They beat the Falcons 20 to 13. TJ Watt completely saved the team with, I think, maybe the best player I've ever seen him make. Where the most hilarious interception I've ever seen. Oh, it's not the best in week one. He had that win a game. Walk off like six years ago. He was his fourth pick in week one. He was like two feet away from the quarterback today. I couldn't believe he caught that ball. I like. Yeah, you liked it. Um, saved it. It was a very gentle link. Yeah. Because because the rest of the what's funny is like the Steelers like if you if you all like check the box score, they kind of seemed bad, but I actually thought they looked better than if you watched the game. DK Metcalf dropped a touchdown. He dropped another crucial deep ball. There was a lot of drops. I thought Rogers was actually really accurate today, but they could not run the ball. And there was a time where I was like, we were all texted, but we were like, are the Falcons going to fucking beat the Steelers? It was Cooper Rush going to beat the Steelers. And then they kind of got their act together. But we played all the hits. Darnell Washington threw him into the ground. Oh my god. That was. No, he didn't throw into the ground. I he threw him also like 15 feet. That guy was lying. Well, he bounced back up off the ground. Almost back to his feet. Oh, that's how yeah, where the guys helmet hit the ground and it like like the mountain in the Viper. Like you just like that guy wasn't wearing a helmet. I think he would know how we were joking about the like the substation. Every time you see him is it's like growing. It's getting bigger and looming more ominously in the dark now. Like every time I see Darnell Washington, I'm like, how much does this guy weigh? He's like two. He's like three 15, three 20. He's by far my favorite point. No, he's more than that. If you didn't see it, he did the Martian Lynch bless you thing where he grabbed the guy's head like like a melon and shoved it into the ground. It was calling it a stiff arm is like not doing a justice. He grabbed his head and shoved it into the ground and it bounced back up. Yeah, he's like I baptized you and that shoved his head into the ground. It was it was the most violent thing I saw it. It was crazy. It was awesome. I want him to get the ball more. We don't give him the ball enough. He's my favorite player on the team. I agree. He's the most unstoppable player with the ball on his hands in the NFL. I believe that with my heart. We don't have to talk about the Steelers much, but I will say there was there was one difference in the Steelers offense today because if you look, you're like, oh, 20 to 13 classic Steelers, Aaron Rogers today, his average depth of target was 10 yards. Last year, it was six, which is the last in the league. He was attacking. I will say this was a it was a weird game because the Falcons were listless and lifeless and yet the Steelers refused to put them away and then just went one and it was, I don't know, I don't know. They were they were fucking around, but they didn't find out. They're the same. Yeah. Yeah. The my it's my it's so over. We're so back. It's it's both. It's Tyler Schuck. It was so over for Tyler Schuck in the first half of this. One of the wildest games. Yeah. And then Tyler Schuck is just so back for the final hour. I this was inexplicable. The first not even the first half. The first like two and a half quarters. Tyler Schuck was like, if you keep playing like this for a couple of months, you won't have a future. Like you're going to be a backup fan. Nathan was like furious at Tyler Schuck. He was texting us. The I mean, just the first half for fantasy purposes. Tyler Schuck was the 25th best fantasy quarterback in the first half of this week. The Saints were scoreless. Schuck at 85 yards. That is like through two and a half quarters. From that point on, like Schuck comes out at halftime then immediately throws an exception and then loses a fumble like in the first two drives. After that, after those like first two drives at a halftime ended disaster. Tyler Shuck then completes 20 of 28 passes, 250 yards, two touchdowns leads four straight scoring drives, sets up the game-winning field goal drive for a fifth scoring drive, and then the kicker misses a 62 yarder, which is fine, they go to overtime. Lions score touchdown. Tyler Shuck leads them down and scores the tying touchdown, and then they decide to go for two and they don't get it, but Tyler Shuck almost beat the Lions twice. In this game, in like two quarters, I couldn't believe I was 110 yards passing. He had 85 in the first half. I thought, yeah, I had the exact same reaction as you have as I'm like, oh, man, why did I talk to this guy up during the off season? What was I thinking? 'Cause it was horrific. He played worse than any quarterback I've seen in the first half. It was, he couldn't have seen-- - Other than Deshorn Watson, obviously. - Yeah, other than Deshorn, like his pick was so bad, he threw it right to the defender. It was like supposed to be just a little check down, and he threw it right to the defender. - How was terrible? - Oh, it was so ugly. It was like, how did you not see that guy? And I was like, man, he just doesn't have it. This is going horribly. Why did we think that the Saints were gonna be any good and then the second half Tyler Shuck just absolutely turned it on? I don't really know still if like he's that good. I think it was very impressive what he was able to do in the second half and lead them back. But yeah, man, that was crazy, crazy tailed. - I think a common thridge. - Don't miss Murch Shuck, if Cam Ward was doing what Tyler Shuck was doing and had the exact same arc, we'd be like, this is working, he's great. - I agree, my instinct is to be like, the Lions defense got gassed and they took advantage of it, but I agree, Craig, yeah, if Cam Ward was doing this, we'd be absolutely flipping out. Honestly, at three o'clock, Easter and Shuck just became to you, that's in six-paint manning. - Okay. - Like he just became-- - There's a middle ground here, between me, besperch. - No, there's not. There's only one option, manning. There can only be one. - Well, we talked about, we did an episode in August about who's going to be the 2025 cults, who's going to be the 2026 version of that. And we mentioned the Saints, it's a possibility with Calamore, year two, blah, blah. What's really nice about the cult or the Saints' offense, that is similar to the cults last year, is that it's very condensed, it's very funneled. Where basically, Chris Alave was unbelievable today. He had like 170 yards, he was-- - Under 82. - 182 yards, he's got the Guardian cap on, but it's basically Alave, Devon Vélet, who looked great, caught a touchdown, and Joanne Johnson, who came on late, but also was great. And it's kind of like just those three. And I think the passing offense is going to continue to be very productive, they run a super fast paced offense. And like I think all three of those guys are going to be playable. - Totally agree. I think we're doing the waiver's show. And again, we do these recaps in Sundays, we do waivers on Mondays, power our Wednesdays, previews on Fridays. The waiver's episode, I'm sure, the Devon Vélet is going to be like, maybe the number one receiver pick up, just 'cause he's going to play a lot, he can make plays, he can make a couple of really nice catches too. It wasn't just easy stuff. I think two diving catches in this game. - You know what's really hard in fantasy? Is like the Jalen Coker types, the Devon Vélet types, who like have a good week one, but they were like on your bench. And then you have to decide like, do I bench, do I bench Devon Tay Smith to play Jalen Coker now? And usually you don't do it, and you like wait a couple weeks, and then you just keep burning good Jalen Coker and Devon Vélet games. So we should talk about that tomorrow, because it's one thing to add to somebody like Vélet, but it's another to start 'em. - Yeah, it's just they have the late round syndrome, where we just don't trust your eyes sometimes. - It's like Tyler Washington. Yeah, Tyler's shut, 'cause they're all in the same conversation. It takes like, they have to do way more to just immediately trust. Like if Luther Burton did what Parker Washington did in the first quarter today, we'd be putting them in the hall of fame. - It's actually a good point to phrase it that way. - You're right. - Burton is a stronghold. It was fine, he had like 65 yards, it was fine. - DK, who's your, it's so over. - I've got two quick ones here. We're so back, Bucky Irving is good again. I was just very encouraged. I was very encouraged what I saw from Bucky Irving. - That's a good one. He looked great. He looked really like twitchy. The way he was making guys miss. Fumbling, the fumbles were twitchy. - I mean, he had one, he had a fumble that was his bad play thanks, Heifetz. You fucking jerk. But the other than that. - DK segment, Heifetz. (laughing) - You always do this to me. You're ruining it. - Mom, I'm done with my segment. - Yeah. - Bucky Irving, I'm just gonna power through. - Outstaff. - Outstaff Kenneth Gainwell. Craig's favorite player, Kenneth Gainwell was pretty irrelevant in this game. He outstaffed Gainwell. 61 to 46, outtouched in 15 to 6. - Yeah, 8 brushes, 45 yards in a test. - Why is this random thing on Bucky Irving so contentious? (laughing) - DK's like, the guy Craig likes fucking shocked. Sorry, I couldn't. I was just like the spray and prey. I just got to like shoot back at someone. - You're just doing Baker. You're just like doing Baker Mayfield propaganda to talk him a Bucky Irving up and not mentioning a Baker. Just fucking blew this game for the box in for us. - Bucky didn't blow it. Fucking, Bucky, they feel like three fumbles, all right? It wasn't Bucky. - He said Baker Bucky is not Bucky. - Oh, okay. - Well Bucky fumbled too. I'm super defiant. - It takes a village to turn over. - Did you see Baker bling to the headset? Baker said the headset issue is the whole game. - He did change his helmet really on in the game. - That is both probably true. I do believe there's tech issues. I do believe sometimes it's on purpose. And also he literally just got a first down and then kept going to try to score and then just immediately got stripped and like they lost because of that play. - The ball was really greased up in this game. I feel like. - It's human all over the country. They kept, all the announcers kept talking about it. How hot and thick and sweaty it was. It was like the movie Body Heat out there. - Totally. - Hot thick and sweaty. Anyways, I'm not gonna talk about Bucky Irving anymore. I think the Bucks will be fine. They had, they lost four fumbles in this game and they still made it close. I think they'll be okay. - Bodies. - I'm googling Body Sweat movie 'cause I don't wanna go. - Body Heat. - Body Heat with Catholic Share. - They're body heat. - It's good movies you watch. - Watch it, watch it, watch it, watch it, watch it. - While you Google that, Hi Fits, I'm gonna do it. It's so fucking over. I can't even believe it. Dishon Watson. - Oh. - It's a closing body heat. Okay. - I mean, it's insulting at this point to Cleveland's fans that Dishon Watson is playing. When you say. - He's totally, he's approaching, he's bad as like. - I tried to say, I got to say no. - Curtis Painter at this point. (laughing) - Like, there's got, like, you know what the well-levest thing. There's not 32, like, quarterbacks that are better than me. There's not, I don't know if there's a, like, there's probably a hundred quarterbacks that are better than Dishon Watson at this point. - I mean, you just can't wait. - None of them run the brows. - There's teams that have three quarterbacks that are better than Dishon Watson. - I think the funniest thing is that I think there are only two quarterbacks in the NFL that have been able to play multiple games I've ever seen. That in shotgun just run back like 10 steps immediately. - What? - And they're both on the Cleveland Browns this year. - Nate Tyson was talking about this. He was like, in shotgun, there's no such thing as seven step drops. - He just keeps going back. - Shedorn? - Shedorn just runs backwards. Like it's maddened. And to show him what's the seventh step drops of shotgun. And no one else has ever done that. - In his defense. - If I were playing on a football field where really tall, strong, fast, violent men were trying to hit the shit out of me, I would also be running back. - That's true. - It's actually a very natural instinct. - So in this scenario, you're playing Watson's defense attorney. You could say, "I don't know." - Interesting. - Sure. - Devils advocate if you will. - Interesting. - You know, look. - I was, I'm a public defender in this one. I was assigned a case. - The possession. - It should be the signature. - Fuck. - I've been assigned a public defender. - Don't judge me, all right. It's a criminal justice system. - Yeah. - We should do public defender. - That is really funny. - Public defender. - It's like, "Fuck, I gotta sign to the Chargers. Goddamn it." (laughing) - Defender. Fuck. They give it to like the new guy. (laughing) - Good luck. Anyway, we don't need a Lingerie. - You get two minutes to prep too. You're like, "You just get it." - Here's the Browns for example. - Kim Warden, you have a hundred seconds to prep. Fuck. (laughing) - Man, approach the bench, you're on air. - If you are a public defender, can you email us and give us like what other tips? 'Cause that's the one I've heard. You get like 11 minutes sometimes. Anyway, I keep going. So I think, okay. - Look, I'm not breaking any news here. Possessions in the first half for the, for the Browns. Interception, punt, punt, fumble, punt, end of half. And then they were down 24 and I think they went down 30, what did I think in the third quarter? Watson's first half success rate was 25%. Weirdly enough, Matthew Stafford was the only quarter back this week that was worse than that. - Well, it's definitely not a great first half. - Well, I see. - Can I reiterate that? - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. - The show wasn't? - You can get lagged. - Yeah. Matthew was just showing Watson through Australia. To show Watson through a pick on the fifth play of this fucking game. - Yeah. - And then they came back and then he tried to throw another pick and the only reason you didn't is it just ricocheted off of, I can never pronounce the guy's name. A lot of cons, the linebackers chest. It hit him in the goddamn belly button and ricocheted down. And that's the only reason the Browns didn't have back-to-back picks. Then he fumbled and they had to three and out again. And then he fumbled and lost it. - Would it be, would it be like boring if I just named a bunch of backup quarterbacks? Do you guys say yes or no? Whether you'd rather play them, if you're around here. - Do it. It would be boring because they're all yeses. (laughing) - That's just, I mean, Nathan Peterman is. - How about this? I'll do some third string quarterbacks. Will Howard. - Definitely. - Oh for sure. - I feel like Will Howard do better. Quinn Ewers. - Yeah. - Yeah, definitely. - Garrett Nussmire, I'd way rather have Garrett Nussmire. He was the seventh round pick. What do we do with Browns? That's why we're definitely give with the Browns the better chance to aid in O'Connell. Yeah, I see complete be successful. He's one games tight. Uh, well, I guess the Bears have Tyson Beijing as third drink because he was inactive. He's good. He's good. He's kingdom. Oh, he's like a coach. Oh, God. He's how old to see. Here we go. Let's see. I don't know if you can even throw absolute Jayland Mill row. I feel like there's a hundred quarterbacks that are better than Sean O'Connell. I a reef. A son put it well today. He posted that like 99% of the time fans want to put in the really toolsy guy when the sixth round to for to dick around is like an absolutely insane thing to do. There's a reason they suck. The Browns should actually just play tailing green. The guy at Arkansas who just can is like you're talking Anthony Richardson basically, but if he wasn't a good enough thrower to even get drafted in the first four rounds, like they should just fucking play him. But Watson's gonna play one more game and they'll hope it gets hurt. And if not they'll bunch him for week three when they go home. Yeah. Okay. Is that is everything for it? So we're so but I can I give one more. It's so over. He brought up the Rams. We I think we'll do it so over for Miles Garrett going to injured reserve with an arthroscopic knee issue. Like this guy's not even going to play in the in America for the first four weeks of the season now. Shout out to Tom Pellicero of the ringer. Hell yeah. Little jarring to see sources tell the ringer in Netflix sports. But the Rams. Yeah. Overshadowing us as journalists. But yeah. Yeah. Kind of just what about our strengths sources. I got plenty of sources. But we could have figured that out. You want to hear me bragging about it. You don't hear me reporting. You don't hear you don't see me on Netflix talking about my sources. I mean, this actually is on Netflix. You weren't talking about your source. No, yeah. It's really it's really impressive. Yeah. What do you guys make of this? Miles Garrett, they get he gets traded to the Rams for Jared Versa. First, the second, the third, place one game has no impact other than the idea of him, which the Niners were initially scared of. And then didn't have any quarterback pressure. He impacted the game. But now just that a month. Do you guys look at this as like the Rams regret the trade? Do you see this as nothing? I'm here as Aaron Donald. Maybe I was like, oh, fuck. Is Aaron Donald going to be like, well, what? Well, I thought he was going to be playing. I don't want to play by myself. McVeigh is like, get ready. Aaron, you're playing seven snaps and we do. He's like, I came out of retirement because he was playing it. The Ravens would try to figure out how to undo the trade. Yeah. Just fail on the physical. I don't know. It just makes me think that the Rams are like, it'll be fine. Like, we don't need to really worry until November. And I fear that by then there'll be like six and eight. But we'll see. It would be really awkward if they just started like one and five. And then Miles Garrett came back and the Rams are just as bad as the Browns. Youwing theory. Okay. It's time to lock in guys. It's important. It's time for something actually important. It's time for America's favorite segment is back. It's been a long time. It's time for fart. We're short. God damn it. We don't have like some clever fart intro sound at the moment. So Craig, you want us farting to a microphone? I haven't fully digested yet. We just make a fart sound. Not actually. Farts. Just make sure we don't we don't we have we have drops from last year that we can put in no. Right. We can. I don't think anyone was asking for those back to be honest. You people didn't like those? I don't think so. I didn't interrupt the diarrhea sounds. Yeah. I was uncomfortable. You should just record the dumb and dumb or diarrhea scene. Just play that. There we go. Try it on Netflix. I don't know. I like I love how high if it's introduces it. He puts so much emphasis and weight on fart. He does a great job. He goes fart or shart and it's great. I feel like it's like a game show like Fear Factor or something. I've been waiting for this for since since February, DK Daniel. Oh god. The Chicago Bears. Sure they scored 59 points today. That might be, you know, that's what's on the outside. But when you look under the hood, there's a man named Colston Loveland standing there alone in a dark room. I cannot believe it. Colston Loveland today had two targets, zero catches, zero fantasy points. The Bears scored 59 motherfucking points and Colston Loveland had none of them. DK. Colston Loveland's Fart or shart. This is unequivocally a fart. It's a very loud and disgusting fart. I love it. I love it. I love making him say that. It's so good. It's arguably one of the most embarrassing farts of all time. Because you drafted it in like the second or third round or whatever it is. Yes. Fourth round. I mean, the amount of expectations were extremely high on this guy. And he had literally no catches today, no points. He didn't score and he didn't score any fantasy points. You said he didn't score any of the Bears 59 points. He didn't score a fantasy points. Zero catches. Yes. However, if you look at the way that he liked the amount of snaps that he played, the amount of routes that he ran, he actually ran the second most routes of any tight end in the NFL today. He ran the most routes on the Bears. He ran 35 routes. The next highest was Luther Burton at 27. He's going to be fine. They're not going to have Klee Freibind eat up nine targets every game. And he actually did have a end zone target where they lined him up outside on one-on-one situation. He ran an in route or an in breaking route and Caleb just barely missed him. And that would have been a touchdown. That could that will be a touchdown, you know, next week of the week after whatever. I think he's going to be fine. But yeah, I mean, this is obviously like a really inauspicious start to the season after that much hype. But I do think he's going to be fine. He ran 35 routes. 97% route rate. Like he's out there running routes on pretty much every time they throw the football. I mean, this can extrapolate even further. I mean, the Bears scored seven touchdowns today. And Roma, Dunez, a Luther Burton in Colston level that had none of them. Right. That will not happen again. We need a word for when you you're out doing stuff and you come home because you couldn't watch the game and you open your app and you see Bears 59 and you're like, oh my god, this is the crazy. But man, like you open it up scrolling down and seeing Luther Burton or it's in Colston level zero. Please send us your submissions for what that I literally, because it's the one that is not literally sent this to a group chat. It's the Anakin Skywalker meme where it's like the bears to 59 points. It's like, Colston level must have a catch, right? Right? What do we call that? We need to say it's the Anakin Skywalker. I don't know what we do. Yeah, emails for that. Email us to ring your fantasy football gmail.com if you have a name for when you, yeah, play basically a team's crush getting the player. There's nothing kind of like if the if Jamar chase hypothetically had like, I don't know, two points or something in the Bengals one. I will say, though, to the Bears point, just another like while we're blowing smoke up in Johnson's ass, I have to say, I saw someone post I forget who had this real, but I think it's correct. Johnny Walker is just like, I don't want to say random, but he's like a lower on the depth chart player in the Bears. And he was just blocking his ass off. He had an incredible pancake block basically on offense and on special teams. And then you know what happened? Ben Johnson drew him up a touchdown. And I think that's a tone setting thing. That's a Kyle Shannon thing, right? No no block. No rock. Like you want the ball? Block your ass off in every play. And it sends a message. It's got to should teach him or his badass and didn't fit in with the bears about is like the whole trying when you're not getting the ball thing. And I think that that was like a very tone setting thing that Ben Johnson did was like, you know, who's going to get the ball? The people who fucking block dude. Not though Colson. Love and doesn't, but it's it's very intentional. I think no block. No rock is one of the best just catch phrases ever. No block. No rock. Khalif Ramon must block his mother fucking ass off then because Khalif Ramon Khalif Ramon today led the Bears in targets, catches in yards. He had eight catches for 84 yards. DK, how old do you think Khalif Ramon is? 28. He's 32. 32? Khalif Ramon's 32 years old. What? He's surrounded by some of the most premier 24-year-old athletes you could imagine. He's just posting you up. He just dominated the game. He was like Matthew Delva Dova in the 2015 finals. I don't understand why he doesn't like the ball more. Every time Khalif Ramon touches the football, I'm kind of like, he's been good. I don't know why he didn't play more for the lions. I don't know what his deal is, but every time he touches the ball, I'm kind of like he's doing stuff. Just just a hilarious like week one development. There's always like every month there's a game like this where there's some random fifth stringer. Alamedez Akias once a year has like 130 yards and two touchdowns. Right. Very similar. All right, I'm gonna turn the shit around on you, pun intended. You're gonna you're you're gonna fart or shart me? Yeah, buddy. Get ready. Okay, Craig and Hyphids. Oh. Fart or shart. Devon HN of the dolphins. 11 rushes for 36 yards. Eight points in fantasy just behind Kendra Miller. He was the 26th ranked running back in FPBR today. He was the 13th overall player in ADP. This was probably the easiest game they're gonna have all year. I didn't actually look at their schedule, but you know, the Raiders aren't great. I think this is a shart. I think I'm starting to be very worried that this is just not going to work all year. He had he had 15 touches in this game and he average. Oh, he averaged 19 touches last year like that's pretty dramatic. And I honestly, this offense is not going to get any better. The dolphins are going to win between zero and two games this season and a lot of HN's value came him from two wood dumping the ball off an H and getting like 80 catches or, you know, the potential to just be like an incredibly leading receiver and incredibly efficient receiver on these screens that were designed by Mike McDaniel just being like the actual rare receiver that can or running back that can line up at receiver and be good at receiver instead of just being there for show. Right. That's all gone now. And the legalist is not going to be doing check downs like this offense is non functional in Miami. And the receiving core is non functional. Honestly, the player that is Devon H and now is Ashton Genti. What I mean by that is the guy who's going to be the excellent early down grinder gets goal line work, but also can actually maybe lead their team and receiving sometimes is Ashton Genti. And I thought that was very clear watching this game today where he's going to be the guy who's like the elite receiving running back. And H and I am very concerned about H and. I am too. It's a reason we had him as our least favorite pick in the second round of drafts this year. I don't want to play on a team that's tanking and with a running quarterback who runs and is not going to check down as much. I'm very worried and I don't you know, I don't think most people took him that high. I can't imagine. But yeah, it's short, messy, short. Yeah. And again, I really like a stupid segment is I like what we came up with, which is the definition is like a fart is a smelly thing you get over and a sharp is like to something have to change. That's right. And yeah, something would have to change for H and to be I think reliable this year. I think that when he does this again, 11 carries for 36 yards and no touchdowns, I don't think you're going to be like shocked and they're going to be like, oh yeah, right. They suck. There's always something to like the divine H and used to have Waddle and Tyree kill on his team that teams had to respect. And now it's like the only person you need to focus on is H and. It's just him. Like there are very few people on this team with any NFL experience of note. Yeah. It's kind of shocking how few NFL games have been played by the people on offense for the dolphins. It's stunning. Has there ever been a larger drop off in a wide receiver talent than week one last year they had Tyree kill in Jalen Waddle and this year it was Caleb Douglas and Chris Bell. It's good call. It's probably the biggest it might be the biggest telltale of all time. It's good. Call. Thank you. You're welcome. DK fucking hated that though. He didn't say shit. It's ironic that I hate that segment and my favorite player I had to ask you guys about so. It's tough. It's tough scene for me. But do you like me because it's like Juvenile? Why? No, it's not. I don't actually hate it. I don't know. I just don't like when you guys grill me on stuff. Maybe you don't like being asked questions. You don't like being asked who will win the Super Bowl before the NFL season. I don't like being asked question. It's a rare trait for a pod. Don't ask me a question, right? You hate being asked questions. I'm asking me questions so much. Was funny. It's actually true. It's not even a bit. Intrusive thoughts. I liked actually, that's a good intrusive thought. DK hates being asked questions. I don't like it when you ask me questions. Yeah. Can I give you guys an intrusive thought I had today? Okay. Please. I was like, maybe the Packer should have fired Matt LaFler. I just, you know what, all the fans wanted to fire Matt LaFler at the end of last season because they kept blowing these games to the Bears and it was like, you know, that's crazy. Matt LaFler is a great coach. He would get snapped up in a second. You would instantly regret losing Matt LaFler has been incredibly successful. What have you done for me lately? You're crazy. And then I'm watching the Packers just blow this game to Carson Wentz. The Packers blew a 12-point lead. This is actually an inexplicable game. Kyler Murray gets hurt. Kyler Murray gets hurt on the 11th snap from Minnesota. And the Vikings have 200 fewer yards than the Packers by the end of this game. And yet the Packers lost. And not only do they blow a 12-point lead, the Packers lost by 17. And I have to reach the two steps. Rob Demovsky, the ESPN, had this great stat. The Packers have lost six straight games dating back to the last season, which is the longest losing streak for Green Bay since 1990. Oh wow. And the other one is the Packers, this is also just about the AP. The Packers had blown a double-digit second half lead to a division rival, three times in the last 40 years. And now they've done that same thing three times since December 20th. So like in such a competitive division, I don't think you can get handed a better opportunity than week one. You're dealing with Carson Wentz for almost the entire game. You're up 12. And he kinda got blown out. And I'm not saying they should fire Matt LaFlure, but it did kind of keep popping up in my mind how much Packers fans were done with. Some Packers fans aided him. And I just couldn't stop thinking about it. Didn't he quietly signed an extension this off season, didn't he? The Packers extended him. Because he's a good, very successful head coach who's made the playoffs three years at a row. That's the seventh seed, which did not exist five years ago. And so it's a funny little thing where they also would have missed the playoffs in any other season in Info History as of like 2021. So it's a funny little thing that got going. They blitzed. I believe the Vikings blitzed him 78%, blitz Jordan loves 78% of the time. Is that in the second half? On past games. Oh, Brian Flores would not stop. They destroyed him. And the Packers looked so good for like the first two quarters. They looked at Christian Watson at like 130 yards, two touchdowns at half. Like everything that we thought the Packers offense was going to be happened. And then it was a complete reversal in the collapse. And the Vikings offense was not even that good. It honestly was like the Texas Ohio State game or something. It was like if the Bucket Air said one, it was like that. But it was just kind of like, how is this even still going? It was confusing. We kept texting each other. We're like, the Vikings keep scoring points. I thought, this is unbelievable. It's 30. They stopped them. Yeah. They lost by 17. I can't believe this. What was that policy called in its store? What was that policy called in stores where if you steal a certain amount under a certain value, they're not even allowed to go like a no chase policy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was how it felt. Like the Packers defense could even try to stop the fight. Like Justin Jefferson was unbelievable in this game. But I don't know. It's I don't understand how Jordan Addison doesn't even have a catch. Justin Jefferson is 92 yards and two touchdowns, he had two touchdowns all last year. If I'm the Packers and Carson went, this is what frustrates me. Carson wins comes in. I watched enough of the Vikings. Never mind the fucking Green Bay Packers. I watched enough of Carson wins with the Vikings. All he does is be like, I'm going to throw it at Justin Jefferson. That's all he fucking does. Or and you know what? If he doesn't get to Justin Jefferson, he probably just gets sacked. It's like, I know it's simplistic sometimes to be like double Justin Jefferson. This Carson wants to throw it anywhere else and they kind of couldn't. I don't I don't understand that. I don't understand. Can I ask a dumb hypothetical? Maybe this isn't dumb. I don't know. If so let's say Kyler's out next week, he got a concussion. I'm guessing he probably will miss at least one game. And once wins again, do they do they have to give back the job to Kyler or or or do they stay with once and be like, well, we're just we're kind of rolling like if especially if they win next week. Now they go back to Kyler. I think. Can there's a weird J.J. McCarthy, the fact that he's not the second string like the the starting court got hurt in the first like five minutes of the game and J.J. McCarthy's was not good enough to get in like that. Yeah. I just can't believe that that he's the emergency backup. It's crazy that he's probably sitting there like, what the fuck happened? I mean, they're literally calling on the backup quarterback and it is not me. The only reason I asked that question about Wentz though is because the way that the competition went with Kyler and J.J. McCarthy, Wentz was a third, distant option. I don't even know, they, I don't even know if he was on the team like until recently. When did they sign him anyway? He's been there. He was there last year. Oh, my bad. I didn't hear about him until like last week when it was revealed that Wentz was actually the backup quarterback and not J.J. McCarthy. He was kind of always going to be the second string. Well, it's just because he's the veteran and everything, but here's what here's the reason I thought of that. Like, it came into my head is like the competition between Kyler and J.J. McCarthy did not go well. From all the reports, it was like basically Kyler is not pulling away from McCarthy. They're both pretty bad and it would be like, I mean, Kyler threw a pick on his first pass. Right. First throw, which got erased because you know, the concussion like, but we were talking about how terrible their offense looked at the beginning of the game. And then as soon as they begin to have talk that that J.J. McCarthy might actually win this competition, like Kevin O'Connell was like, Kyler, you're the starter. We're just calling it. I'm not dealing with this bullshit. I'm not going to let it like go into the court of public opinion. Kyler is the starter and we're going with Kyler. And it kind of felt like he just did that because he didn't want it to be like a controversy at all. And he just never considered starting J.J. McCarthy. Now I'm just like, what if Wentz is actually just better for this offense? I mean, like Hifit said, like he throws it, throws it to the Italians, pass it to the Italian, throw it to J.J., they're just in Jefferson. And maybe this offense actually functions better. I don't know. Probably not. I think the Vikings will have will end up passing the Browns for the most quarterbacks to start over the last like five years or something. Oh wow. Of course, when it starts next week or just the amount of different players or maybe they're tie-in, but like they've had such a revolving door. Part of me is there is something to the backup quarterback thing where it's like, I almost think maybe it ended up working to the Packers and the Vikings advantage or the Packers playing for Kyler Murray probably for like five months and then get kind of played Carson Wentz. Yeah. And then that'll work for like a week, but I don't think Carson Wentz will work totally of course for a month. Do you, Craig, do you have any other intrusive thoughts? - Yeah, you know, we always have a couple of take purges that we don't say because we don't fully feel them in our hearts and our guts, they're not fully intrusive. I kind of was, I always had a little kernel of the thought about like, is there any chance that the Cardinals are just gonna be like decent? Like could the Cardinals offense be okay? And watching this game today, I'm like, I don't know, man, Jacobi Perset is not a great quarterback. He has had moments of being like a serviceable starter in the NFL, but I just look at their team and I'm like, all right, I'm watching Jeremiah Love who I think is really good. And I'm watching Trey McBride who was awesome once again and is like weirdly underrated. Every single game he has like six catches for 90 yards. - Dude, he's at Barven Harrison and Michael Wilson are rock solid Kendrick Borns are really good number three they tell her I'll cheer. And I'm like, they have a Le Floor call in place who's done three years with Shanahan, three years with McVeigh. And I'm kind of like, I know the schedule's terrible, but I thought they blocked well today. And I'm like, I don't know, is there any chance that the Cardinals are not that bad? - I had the exact same thought, Greg. I was like, maybe we were completely just forgot to even consider the idea. - A lot of good players of the Cardinals offense might be good. Like they put up points last year. They lost all those games, but that wasn't necessarily because the offense was losing those games, right? - The Cardinals were the most injured team in the league by a certain way, like adjusted games lost. And they kept the defensive core dinner, Nick Rallis. And I think that's kind of an underrated thing. Sometimes when a head coach comes in, like Michael Floor that could have other options. He's the 10th coach chired, so maybe he didn't. But they're not having a new system on defense, which when you get all the entry guys back, like that can help a lot, which probably also the charges dealt with today too. It's not a new system. - And the defense looked really good today. Anyway, that was just an interesting thought. Another one I had was that, what if, should we bring back the preseason? Should we go back to four preseason games and start playing more in the preseason? You know what I don't like? I don't like this thing now where it's like, well, week one, no one's ready. I'm like, that doesn't seem right. Why are we doing it that way? I would like all the players to be ready. I don't want guys getting hurt and fumbling all over the place and there's penalties playing the preseason. I want my teams to be ready. What made me think of this weirdly? I came across an article today about Nutella, the hazelnut spread. And there was a report out that Nutella has reduced the amount of hazelnuts in the actual spread. Nutella is 13% hazelnuts, which is slightly alarming. - Okay. - It is mostly sugar and palm oil and they just decreased the amount of hazelnuts in the spread and apparently you can tell that it's lighter in color. And I'm like, my loose connection is that like this is what the NFL is doing. And I'm like, eh, add more hazelnuts. Play more preseason games. I want my players that I want the teams to be ready. We won. I want to go back to four preseason games. - Go back to two a days. - Yeah. - Practice more and more preseason games, please. That was my interest about today. - It is true though that like now the NFL season you just kind of have to bake in that there's gonna be like a month of just really stupid. - That's stupid. - That's stupid. That used to be what the preseason was like. - Well, it's funny. Maybe that's what the Cowboys defense was doing. They weren't trying very hard 'cause it was a preseason game to them. - It's like a lot of the narratives. Like, well, these guys haven't really seen games speed a lot. You know, they haven't really seen that yet. So that's what they're working on the Kings now. Like, well, that's what the fucking pre-season's for. It doesn't make any sense. - Well, I mean, the obvious response to that is that we'd have more players hurt by the time the season started. - Would we or more players getting hurt in week one? I don't know. - So maybe they probably know studies on that. - What is palm oil? - Palm oil. - That's a great question. I don't know. - I don't know what palm oil is. - It's palm oil is sugar, palm oil and hazelnuts. I'm like, what is, palm oil? - It's probably like a vegetable or a canola oil, isn't it? - Yeah, wow. Not much hazelnuts. - What are those cheap oils? - It's kind of like, there's not much bird in an owl. You know what I mean, owls aren't that big. It's mostly feathers. - There's not much bird in an owl. - It's exactly like that. - It's not much bird in an owl. - Google a diet here in an owl. - Yeah, like exactly a wet owl. - Not much bird in there. - We should power in worst animals to look at wet. (laughing) - Dude, look at wet owls. They look ridiculous. - Palm oil is an edible vegetable oil derived from the reddish mesocarp of the fruit of the African oil palm. - Totally. - Salted. - So we figured that out. - Did you guys Google wet owls yet? - I don't want to because I like owls. - I've already done it. - I've probably already seen it today. - Anyway. - Okay, best quote of the day. You can mention Baker blaming the headsets. Not working. - Yeah, I wouldn't. - I wouldn't bring up Tom Brady's back. And I thought he was incredibly mediocre today. I do not think he improved. He was exactly the same as I remembered him. And he had a quote today that I know he didn't make up. Brett Farb, I believe. Or he said Brett Farb said this. But it was so like anachronistic to the way that he speaks usually. He was like, he dropped it in there like a butterfly with sore legs. - I know I heard that. - And Berkhart was like, what? And he's like, oh, you know, it just means like a ball's kind of dropped perfectly in his arms. And I'm like, Brady, you know like people who like have a word of the day. And they like mix in a really, you know, elaborate vocabulary word that doesn't really fit in their typical way of speaking. I'm like, Brady is just, I don't know what he's trying. He's all replaced. - It reminds me a little bit of like the people that go to like a class to be better salesman or something. And then they just start saying your first name every time with every sentence they say. (laughing) It's like, stop saying my name. I'm like, we've known each other for a long time. - Josh Allen with the bills? I know you're with the bills. - Josh Allen of the Buffalo Bills. He kept like, he kept saying Rasool Douglas's full name. I'm like, you don't need, he'd be like, so Rasool Douglas here sees Devante Smith and then Rasool Douglas decides to attack the ball. And I thought that was a great job by Rasool Douglas. I'm like, what are you doing? You don't have to do that. I know you know him. We all know that. You're Tom Brady. - You're Tom Brady. - Tom Brady, I don't know. - No one else felt that way? - I definitely clocked that expression. - I think you were the reason he stopped yelling. - I hate of my criticism of Tom Brady. Do you think he's gonna come back and get us? - No, I think you're the reason he stopped yelling though. I think that you're impression to fit him on the rewatchables where he did the Jalen Hertz, so good, KB. He stopped doing that like four days after you made fun of him. Like on the rewatch, I don't think this is this show, but I do think someone sent him that clip 'cause he stopped doing it immediately. - I feel like sometimes when I offer my critiques of him, you two get silent. - I will say, Craig, just to say fuck you. There was a point in the game right before the half, I think it was. Brady was like, he said the offense is unofficient passing. Offense has been meoker, and I was like, - That's probably him actually talking. That's, it's funny 'cause he brought his, but you know what, he does say every once in a while he's good. Like the Jalen Daniels play at the end of the game where, and I had a flex category today of like worst play of the day. I thought the Commander's two point conversion post terrible. They did that like shuffled passing to the tight end whose game I'm blanking on. And I thought it was terrible. - John Bates. - It was John Bates, and Rashad White was open in the flat and apparently Jalen just made that call. But whatever, Brady had a great line. He said, in big moments, you need to think about players, not plays. And I was like, he's like, it doesn't matter. It's more important to the player, not design the cutest, most perfect play. So, I think Brady still can do it. And sometimes it just comes to him, and like his natural instincts can't get it, and he could be good. - Well, I think that is the heart of the criticism is, we just overthink it. - We know it's in you, you just like talk. Like when he was on the matting cast and stuff, he was so much more natural. - And so, he's trying to be too buttoned up, he's trying to be an important guy. - My Tom and NBC now, I'm like, they neutered it. I'm like, it's like the loosest, most relaxed person and you're Jason Garative fighting him. I'm like, Tom Brady, again. - Let loose, man. - Anytime he's not being paid $30 million a year to talk about football, Tom Brady's the most interesting person in your talk. - Well, guys here, Russell Wilson. Russell Wilson kind of had a, he went a little hot today on the CBS pregame show. He was talking about, give me the recap. - How was he? - Russell Wilson said what we've been talking about. I've been saying the Bengals are like small market NBA team. - He basically said if the Bengals aren't good this year, burrow is going to leave and that he wants to leave. I was like, yeah, there we go. Russ, not just saying like really random boring shit. I'm like, wait a start out strong. - The, that actually is a good quote of the day. That is the thing, I don't know if it's a rumor being spun up by other teams. I think the Rams want Joe Burrow to be honest. I think Ty Simpson was a trade ship to send to the Bengals for Joe Burrow in Stafford Reutires. - Fascinating. - It's like a just in case trade ship. - I think that they're spinning. I think the Rams are spinning yarns that, among other teams, also the genuine reality possibility that Joe Burrow wants that as Cincinnati. they, um, which you think that they got word that the Bengals like tight Simpson, because otherwise, why wouldn't they just give them first round picks? Like, they just want to tie Simpson to look good and they trade him away because it's like what the brown thing with Jared verse, we, they'd rather have a first than a player than just two firsts. It just makes them feel better. It's easier for fans. It's easier for the executive not to get fired. We want someone we know is good and a first and then you count that play as good as supposed to be tie Simpson. If he plays well, that yeah, that would be nice. When's he going to play? I don't know. I'll figure that out later. He was like, I'm on a pick my quarterback and then telling me who I get to buy you. Well, then you, you, I don't know, you could trade, but well, I don't know. They don't have any picks. So I don't know. That's interesting though. That's fascinating. But we'll see what happens. Again, if the Bengals do really well, I don't think Joe Borough wants to leave. But I do think it's, it's, it's, it's very much to me an NBA situation. The Bengals did everything Joe Borough asked because they wanted Joe Borough to stay. To be fair, the Bengals are spending money. They signed Jim Arche's Higgins, Gisike, but like, now they're, if they don't get anywhere now, it's like, well, it's because they do everything the way Joe Borough wants. Worst, ref call or coach decision of the day. I have to give this to the referees to this bizarre Jared Goff backward pass that did not count as a fumble because apparently in the NFL, if a quarterback throws a pass backward, it's a fumble as we learned with the Zach Sharbinay screen, like, it doesn't matter. It's a pass back. It's a fumble and we all know that. But apparently, if the quarterback is trying to throw it forward and the defender hits them so goddamn hard that the quarterback ends up throwing the pass backward, that doesn't count. I got it. Apparently, this has been a rule. I feel like I not only did know this, but have never heard of this. This is a great part about the NFL rule book is you learned a new rule every week. Jared Goff threw this pass 20 yards backwards. Like he got hit. He was trying to throw it forward. Got hit so hard he threw it backward and the same score to touch down. The same should have won the game because of this play. And Mike Pereira. I wrote it down because what he said to me was so he, not to me, Jesus, he said it to everyone on TV. That's like what my parents do. I mean, technically, he kind of said it to you. Yeah. But Mike Pereira was like, he started his throwing motion just about Jared Goff. Jared Goff started his throwing motion. Now a throwing motion is bringing the ball up. Forget about the hand at this point going forward. The throwing motion starts hand going up. Then he gets hit. Ball comes loose so his intent was to throw it forward. And since that motion was started, it's a forward pass, no matter where it lands. What the fuck does it end quote? What do you mean it's a forward pass, no matter where it lands? If it lands backward, it's a backward pass. How is a backward pass a forward pass because you meant to do it? Yeah. That's what it is. It's the rule is he meant to throw it forward. He tried. What the fuck is this rule? Who wrote this? What was your intention? What do you intend to do? What is football? Who is this? It's all fucking so funny because like this rule is specifically the throw starts when you the ball comes up. The throwing motion is like, but then a fumble versus an incomplete pass is what your hand has to be coming. Related to the tuck rule, I think like the idea of a throwing motion, there are situations you need it. But I feel like I did not know this that if you're not either you get hit so hard and throw backwards that that doesn't, that one that you shouldn't hit him so what the fuck are you talking about? I feel like the NFL rule book is just filled with rules that had to be created because of one thing that happened to one time. Yes. And they're like, well, we have we have we've never seen this before. We have to make a rule about it. It'll come up once every 50 years. I don't understand. Well, there's a lot of like, I don't even know how to put this. There's rules. And then there's also like a separate book of play instances that they use can use as an example of the enforcement of the case book. The case. That's also hundreds. There's also a case. I invite it. It's case 24 section B. There's a reason every rap is either it's like a lawyer a fucking lawyer. This is like the public defender. The lions are the saints needed a better public defender on this one. What's the second most complicated sport? That's a great question. Probably baseball. Yeah. What's a block going on? Baseball is baseball. Yeah, like a block is kind of like man. But also it's funny. Even the strike zone, it's like the idea of like, oh no, like if you do the automatics, you have to define it. You have to. You have to do it quickly enough. You know, that thing that's the basis of every moment of baseball, the strike zone. You're like, yeah, we, who knows where that thing is? Need to just ask the umbs, they're kind of different based on each one. Okay. I, we need to do a Lucille Bluth. I don't understand the stat line and what respond to it. I, I need to do, I don't understand this story or this headline and I, I, I can't respond to it. Did you guys see this guy who got to call plays for Akron D1 football program, Akron, let a fan win a raffle to call their plays in the first season off and see for one quarter for one play. Like, uh, like a few plays in the first drive. And I, I saw that this was going on and I'm not going to lie. I didn't actually think they would do it. I kind of thought it was a bit. Yeah. And they, they didn't get any money like this was for fun. I think they needed money and attention and they're like, I don't know how much money did they get? Wow. What was the raffle? I don't know. Great. One last time we talked about Akron. That's why. And it's, I think to the worst team in college football 27, I played with Akron when I started because they're the worst team and they, they clearly are desperate. So they, they let a fan call the place in the opening drive. They work with the coaching staff for a few weeks to figure out the new Savannah bananas, but they let them do it. They had guys out there on stilts, and I, I can't believe that that happened. And it was funny. Nick Saban video chatted with the guy on college game day. And was like, the fans are going to want you to pass. Don't run the ball. So the guy runs, you get stuff, the guy runs gets stuck, it's 3rd and 11 sack fumble. This fucking fans wear that run fast after all that, what Nick Saban told them to idiot. I would have called a fucking hook and ladder. First play of the game. Nick Saban literally says, if you don't listen to me call Flea Flickr, because it'll be cool. Yeah. This is the letter. Flea Flickr. He had enough struggles. This is this is rock bottom. You don't think rock bottom was someone getting cut from the Browns to go into LSU, which in retrospect, great call. LSU seems way more fun than the Browns. I thought that was rock bottom, like Europeans playing college basketball and pros in the NFL going back. But now it's they're literally pulling fans off the street to call plays for a gimmick to make money. Dude, the name, the name of the fan that got to call plays. His name is Marty Wimms. Wimms. Who I think was just unfrozen from 1922, Marty Wimms. They're making a documentary about him. What the fuck is that? I can't. Again, I knew this was happening, but I was like, well, they're not really going to let him do it, right? He's like, they're not actually like, they got more pre-selected. He was there. The school sold more than half of its season tickets and two weeks after the announcement. And it got more than a billion impressions on social media. This is a fucking side show. That's what we've become. Oh, my God. I mean, they should just start a game. Marty Wimms. He's right. Akron should be the Akron bananas and they should partner with Savannah. And they should just travel around and every team they play, they hire, they bring somebody off the street to call the place. We did nail the Savannah bananas for football thing, which is that the kickers need to come out of the tunnel, like Closer's and Baseball. Kickers need songs. I mean, I don't just be like lighter in checkers. Yeah. Spotlight on. I'm coming out. I want them lowered from a wire. Trumpets. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. What do we do? Yeah. Didn't Katy Perry come in on some elephant? Just do that shit or whatever. Yeah. Something like that. Come into like in a rhino like Ace Ventura to crawl out of stuff. Exactly. That's. Now you fucking thinking Greg. Something like that. How cool would that be? You know, Evan McPherson crawls out of a literal stuffed bangle tiger. That'd be amazing. Just makes it. Thank you. That's real entertainment. That's good. Yeah. All right. Any other weird stat lens, Greg? Well, speaking of the bangles, seven bangles had more yards than Jamar chase. I just want to throw that out. Great. Do the bangles think that they have grunk and Aaron Hernandez? Because of Joe Burrell. Just it was only thrown to Mike Cassicki and Drew Sample today. That was kind of a game plan. I guess. Joe Burrell's. Joe Burrell's probably thrown off by all the turnovers where they started in a bucks territory. He wasn't sure what to do with it. Dude, Mike Cassicki. I think I've said this maybe on the in the past, so sorry for repeating myself, but I think no player in the NFL has a higher celebration to plays ratio than Mike Cassicki. That's a hundred percent. He celebrates more than any player in the world. It's so true. In any sport. Every play that he makes is like a fucking baseball. It's like in baseball. Yeah. Or it's like a full fucking production. People are coming in off the sidelines. They're all dancing together. It's like crazy. Yeah. He'd be good on the Dodgers. every time you get a little Freddie Freeman dance. - He's got this whole fucking routine for every fucking play he makes. - Do you think when he does make a play? - What's the number? Is it 80% of his catches just doing something? - What do you think? - He's doing something, I don't know. - It does feel that way. Dickey, this is a great call. That kind of won't stop dancing. - I'm not even saying, no, I'm not saying it as like derogatory. I'm just stating a fact. Like he celebrates a scene amount and it's kind of great, but also kind of annoying. He's soaking it up. - Do you guys think Dickey's gritty is bad or do you just pretend to think it's bad 'cause other people said it was bad? - No, it's bad. But like, did you really notice that with your own eyes? - No, it's bad, it's horrific. It's like what I would look like doing a gritty. - I think he's better than that. - He's the gangliest human being in the NFL. - He is, he's really tall and lanky. - I did have the thought today. I'm not kidding, I had this thought. I was like, damn, Justin Jefferson's gritty is really smooth. - He just like, it's like second nature to him. - Yeah, it's impressive. - He's like, yeah, it's the gritty's based on him. - Well, I know. - I'm telling you from his friend. - He's like MJ out there, Michael Jackson, and like doing the fucking moonwalk. He just does it better than anything else. - I was happy to see him getting the opportunity to do it three times today. - Yeah. - It was nice. - I wanna just create a category here called Coolest Shit of the Week. And I just wanna do it between two Washington plays. One was Sonny Stiles, the linebacker at how I stayed for Washington, just destroyed Sequan Barclay. The hardest I've ever seen Sequan get hit, and then he sacked Jalen Hertz in like the same play. - Sequan is awesome. - That was Rue Sequan. - Crazy. - He looks very good, yeah. - And then the same game Washington had the greatest special team's rep of all time by Tyler Owens, who was, you know when the punt were gunners, go one versus the two guys in defense. And he somehow outran both the guys. - Not only that, he stiff-armed both of them to the ground. - Beat the shit out of them. - And then he punched them in the face. He punched both of them in the face to the ground, then jumped over them and then tackled, and then suplexed the pukter. - He picked him up and like jumped on him. - He beat the shit out of three people on this play. - That those two defenders guarding him were fans that paid to be that in a laughable. (laughing) - Marty Hwimms. (laughing) - Craig Hwimms, so these things. - Washington need a little extra juice. And so they thought whatever, they're on a gunner. Who cares? - No one even watches fucking special teams. - I think his dealer should make Darnel Washington a gunner. Just for what? - Yeah, it'd be like a rail gun. That would just be like just cutting people in half. - I added a category here without telling you guys. The Cloise Box Award for Random Stat that leads you down to Wikipedia rabbit hole. - Okay. - The Chicago Bears had six rushing touchdowns in week one, tied with the week one record with the 1920 Detroit Heralds, the 1920 Rock Island Independence and the 1922 Canton Bulldogs. - Hell yes, I know where this is going. - And I wanted to just read you some names from these people. - Hide with us. So we have the 1920 Detroit Heralds. We have the 1920 Rock Island Independence. - Yes. - Where's Rock Island? - I believe it's in Lake Michigan. I don't know actually. - Okay. - It's somewhere in Chicago. - Old, old wooden ship. - All these places in Chicago. So the quarterback for the 1920 Detroit Heralds was named Steamer Horning. - Steamer. - Steamer. - Steamer. - Horning. - Steamer. What's his last name? - Horning. - Horning. - Like Paul. - Steamer. - And Steamer. - Steamer, I think. - Steamer was named a first team all-American by Walter Camp who invented football. (laughing) - Steamer. - Walter Camp said that guy's all-American. - And he was-- - Steamer ever played for a team in Cleveland. - No, but he drafted, funny. But he's drafted by the Pittsburgh Pirates in baseball. - Yeah, come on. - Yeah, come on. - Craig gets invented at the weirdest stuff. - He can't work with two hours in. Have some class, all right? It's two in the morning. Have some class. - All right, continue. - Rock, I wanna just, the Rock Island Independence. Can I read you their opponents from that season in 1920? - Please do. - Week one, the St. Paul Ideals. (sniffing) - Yeah. - The St. Paul Ideals. - Okay. - Week two, the Muncie Flyers. - Muncie. - Muncie. - Okay. - Week three, the Hammond Pros. - Yeah. - It's remarkable that the stats for these games have made it to 100 years. - Dude, it's insane. - 'Cause it was just one dude writing the stuff down, right? There's one guy in the stands writing it down on a piece of paper, a hundred years ago, we still got it. - It's just saying whatever. - Brother. - Dude, there was a team. - And it's still, we have it. - We didn't lose it in the great flood of 1917. - Yeah, we wrote it down and we still have all of them. - Halling it into a newspaper. - Right. - Thorn tornadoes. - Oh yeah. - And of course the Dayton Triangles. - We've talked about the Triangles, yeah. - I have a Triangles t-shirt. - Yeah. - Yeah. - What's a Triangles? - Fuck, it's a good point. - Another one for the Rock Island Independence was Mickey Hull. (laughing) - How are we spelling Hull? - H-O-L-E. - Okay. - Mickey Hull. (laughing) - I don't know why that's really, that's good. - Mickey Hull of the Rock Island Independence. - Hey, I'm going out tonight, dad. I'm getting this new guy. What's his name? Mick Hull. (laughing) - Mick Hull. - Don't worry, he plays for the Rock Island Independence. He's a good guy. - His name is Michael Hull. (laughing) - Yeah. - The Kitten Bulldogs had a player named at Norbert Sackstreater. (laughing) - This is like fucking. - This is like Mad Lord. - Norbert Names. - Norbert Sackstreater. - Yeah, Norbert. - Norbert. - What is Norbert short for it? - Norbert. - I wanted to talk to you guys about that. - Norbert. - Norbert. - Norbert? - Oh Norbert, yeah, Norbert Sackstreater. - Is it Norbert a movie? - Yes. - Norbert. - A film. - Yeah. - There's also Wookie Roberts and Candy Miller. - Candy. - Candy's good. - That's good. - Norbert. Norbert. - Sackstreater. - I do, Mick Hull is a good one. - Mick Hull. - All right. Should we get to two players who outscrewed Kyle Pits at a lie? - Sure. - So we're back, Cooper Rush. Tough game for the Falcons. - God. - Can you just say everyone? - When we invented Kyle Pits and two players who outscrewed Kyle Pits in a lie four years ago, I don't think any of us thought it would still be going, but here we are. Blake White, two players outscrewed Kyle Pits in a lie. Blake Whiteheart, Jake Brendel, Colston Loveland. - Is it a trick question? - It's a trick. I believe Kyle Pits had zero points and I know Colston Loveland had zero points. So it's between two people who I genuinely have never heard of Blake Whiteheart. Blake Whiteheart? And he played for the Dayton Triangles in 1917. - And Jake Brendel, I don't know. I'll go with Whiteheart. - Yeah, Jake and, wait, are we picking one or two? - Oh, it's two. Okay, it's Blake and Jake. - Yeah, Blake and Jake. - So they had more than zero points. - So Blake Whiteheart is a tight end for the Browns. Jake Brendel is an offensive lineman for the 49ers. He's the one who caught the pass in the Rams-9ers game. - Okay. - And he had a catch, unlike Kyle Pits this week. - So this is a nice segue into the burn book, which if you're here for the first time, we have a burn book of all the players who have burned us each year. And every week we put one person into the book just like in Mean Girls. And we never revisit them again. They're dead to us for the season. For whatever reason they're dead to us. Week one now. I love, week one's always interesting because it's like, how much do you want to overreact? We usually like to say injuries are not a reason to burn somebody, but for rare cases they can be. And I would like to, and I would like to nominate AJ Brown. (laughing) - This is like the whole dead dog do not eat thing. - I think it absolutely has to be AJ Brown. - It's not his fault. He got rolled up on, but now he has a high ankle. He's on IR. And now those reports I can sign up in four weeks. Might be six weeks. - Probably about six weeks. - And it's more annoying 'cause AJ Brown, he actually looks really good for two of the catches. And then-- - Craig calls it Mustang. - You know? (laughing) - Craig texted when I think AJ Brown's first catch he goes, he's a Mustang. - He caught some ball in the flat. He looked like a single Terry out there. (laughing) He looked amazing. (laughing) - God. - Anybody, any of the nominations? It's, I know it's gonna be an injured person. - No, that's, that's, that's the most important. - It's the correct answer. - It's more sense. - It's 100% the correct answer. - We're about Kyle Pitts, he's at zero points. - I mean, if a book is named after Kyle Pitts. - This is how the Kyle Pitts burn book. - If you-- If you draft a couch myself, no, no, no, no, no, no. If you draft a couch, if I fucking started couch, I did start couch. It's an illegal too. You did, Matt. It was super rush. Well, like, like mathematically, DK starts every player in the NFL across all his leagues. Right. That's true. Across the 40. He's based a multiverse. A little bit of everyone. You know, 40 leagues. DK's a multiverse. I think we have more Matt and AJ Brown. I think AJ Brown's time is close. It has to be. Literally. It's such a fuck. Also, the fact that it's like the first game of the season. I am at the Wednesday. It's a Wednesday. It's a Wednesday. And you're like, my second round pick is socks and it's over. And it's done. I draft at Stakequan Barclay this year. And I feel fucking horrible about it. And I just, I don't know why. I don't, I don't want to be a part of the Eagles. I know they even played well today, kind of. And it hurts. But I just hate that hate being a part of the Eagles offense. I think it's we miserable. It was such an Eagles game. This game is like right. Like earlier the game about how fucking Stakequan is limping. He was. He's like, I fucking hate. I hate it because because because the box score doesn't do a justice. They had the basically three good plays and Hertz made great throws. And I'll give those to him. Outside of that, the second half, they had three and a three. Four of their drives were three and outs and a punt. They couldn't get any art as they can't run the ball. Devante Smith didn't do anything. It was basically like three scene passes to Dallas Goddard and a deep ball to Don David Wicks. And otherwise the offense is anemic. In Devante Smith of like one great play. And like, but you're right. It was like five great plays in the passing game. And just like dragging what it was before. Wagon through the mud. And I hate it. Why do we not listen to ourselves and just be like when we hated team, just don't take players in the team. Because we just promise is sake one was sitting there for a price that I thought was a reasonable. And I needed a running back. And sometimes you got to do that. It's different in snake. When it's you're doing auction. It's like if it's there and it's a good value, you do it. And then you're like, what I've. And then the season starts and you forget how much you paid. And then he's. Yeah, it's just. I'm sure sake want to be fine. He better be offensive landlord. There's shit. Okay. H.A. Brown you're in the burn book. Did you see the interview? They asked Jordan Milotta about the Australia thing. Did you see that? No, what do you say? Oh, he was like, um, he was like, you got to fly. You got to do with the Niners, didn't you kid me? The person that. The day before that's insane. Kid, we. Yeah, can we. We. We got to talk about this some more. Like that was the dumbest idea ever. The person that I entered the day before. Do you know who said it was stupid? I said, Jordan Milotta. He's like, no. But you know the person who said it was stupid that I can't believe we didn't think to talk about this before. John McEnroe. I was watching the US Open. And there's a fun US Open and John McEnroe because they have the Australian open. And John McEnroe was like, yeah, that's insane. You can't do that. Your body's like, we'll never adjust. It's hard for me to go as an announcer. Yeah, he probably did it for 15 years. I was watching thousands of fucking athletes and flown to Australia. For God. Why did they say? Why is the Rams? Why do the Rams are just like, oh, we'll send 15 staffers. Yeah, Australian. See how they feel. I have to say it is very funny to me in retrospect. Being like the sending, yeah, sending 15 staffers and trying to do their own little study. And I'm like, if you just talk to the tennis players, they probably would have been like, don't do that. Talk to any of the thousands and thousands and thousands of athletes that have flown to Australia. In history. It's, it's the drafting tie Simpson of flight plans. Right. It's just like galaxy brain. Yeah. You know, you know the meme of the guy with the brain that comes out of his head and then like he's like sitting on his brain like he's a recliner. Yeah. Like that, that's this plan. Just show up right at the time. Show up right before. If you stay on LA time. Every person who's actually had like real life experience going to and from Australia is like, no. Absolutely not. Have you flown 15 hours before? Also, apparently the quantus is trying to get rid of this plane. I heard like some like one off thing about how like quantus doesn't even want this plane. The three eight, the a three 80 that they've. They're so embarrassed by what happened. They're like, we can't be associated with that. It's not even a thing. Craig, do you want to tell us with this Toronto Film Festival before we leave? It's been really fun. I've really enjoyed Toronto. This is only. I've only. I've only been to Sundance. It's the only film festival I've been to. This is number two and it's very different. These are much more like commercial movies. Tiff, it's a much more like kind of populist film festival. It's more like audience friendly stuff. And I saw a movie today this morning that I thought was going to stink to be honest. And we saw trailer for it at Cinemacon, which is like where they tease movies coming out this year in Vegas in April. It's a movie called I play Rocky. And it is about the story Rocky. I saw the preview for this. It's about the making of Rocky, the movie. It's a narrative movie, like a normal movie about a guy who plays Silvestre Stallone trying to get the movie Rocky made. And he's doing the whole like, so best is the low in accent. And I was like, this is going to blow. Sorry. I mean, he's doing it. Okay. Peter Fairly directed it, DK, your guy. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's great. One of the fair like gangbusters. I think it's going to win the audience award at Tiff. Is it better than Rocky? It's not better than Rocky. Can you do that? Can you do that Stallone voice? That's the best Stallone. I don't know. And it's so deep. I've never been anybody talks like that. Well, he is like a paralyzed side of his mouth. Oh, that makes me nervous. Now I feel bad. You should, he's struggling still as just alone. He's had a tough life. Oh, he's super famous and has a few million dollars. And it really worked out. You should watch the movie you'll see. But movie's great. It premiered last night. It played again today. And it was like standing ovation. Everybody loved it. The kid who plays the loans. Like amazing. It's really funny. It's really heartwarming. I think everybody who watches it's going to love it. I thought the preview looked pretty good. It's funny that you thought it looked like dog show. Maybe I watched a different one. Well, I just thought it looked really cheesy. I was like, oh, this is like a real, like it's almost like a lifetime type thing. And it was not that at all. It was really well done. The script was awesome. It was really funny. All the actors were great. It's very good. Who else was in that? Someone else like relative was like Jason Lee in that or something like that? J. Duplos is in it. Oh, okay. Maybe that's blanking on somebody. Hold on. I'm going to pull it up. Oh, Matt Dylan. Oh, yeah. Matt Dylan plays his dad. But he's a small role. He's really good. Interesting. But yeah, I recommend it. I think like I think there's a chance it gets Oscar bus. Okay. Thank you, DK. Thank you, Craig. Thank you Austin. Thank you to kill. Thank you, Cam. Thank you for listening. Emails to bring a fantasy football to email.com. What do we got trivia questions? We want fantasy courts for power. Oh, God. It's like fantasy courts and most of the thing we asked for. The word for when you check the 59 bear, the bear scoring 59 points box score. And you see that your player had zero. Yeah. Thank you, Lord. Lord. Craig, do you want it or do you want me to take it? I'm always packing. So you just let me know. You can take it tonight. All right. Take me home tonight. I'm going to take you home tonight. I feel like Anthony DeBundo should change his name to Eddie money. Yeah, we should call Eddie money Tony money Tony money. Yeah Eddie money is any money a lot. Eddie money. No, he's R.I.P. 2019. He died. Yeah, great. Pre-COVID is better. He shouldn't see what the world has become He was 70 Fuck you. Okay, now I feel bad Shit anybody she was still with us. Any money is this is my favorite if I can have another name I would I would do any money. I was listening to this in my hotel room alone Take me home tonight fucking pre-funken noise complaint on the road. Yeah, what do you guys call pre-funking again? You guys call it something different. - Pre-gaming. - Pre-gaming. - Yeah, yeah. - It's the oldest thing about you. - I've never even heard that phrase. You call it pre-funking. - I'm sorry, I'm sorry for saying something that my friends and I said back in the day. - Apology, I said it. - Okay, we did this. - Remember 'cause like function, like going to a function, pre-funk. - Yeah. - But remember that, Craig, you don't remember this conversation, pre-funking in our context was before the party, you like get drunk. - Before we knew the party. - Yeah. - No, but we did this and it turned out to be a actual Seattle-specific regional slang tied to a bar in Seattle, a specific bar in the '80s was like the origin of this term. - What's the bar called the function? - Or the funk. - God, why's your shirt say cat? - Oh, I believe it's short for caterpillar, which is what hyphensis is gonna turn into in our ringer league when he loses. How'd you do today? - I had Bryce Young and I fucking just, I'm gonna beat Joe House. - That's right. - And he jailed in a lot to just not lose to quote the Sutton by a lot. - You having Bryce Young, who's like the QB3, is a fucking unbelievable. - It's actually good because now I don't feel bad about dropping one to two of my quarterbacks that I don't need. - No. - I lost to sell by six and I feel horrible. - As I said, I'll be fine. Bryce Young had 30, what, thank God you has ticked 26 quarterbacks ahead of me, so Bryce Young could fall to me. - Well, it was funny, okay? - I'm gonna be in dead last again, the lowest scoring team and I lost, so I don't know. (laughing) - He's serious. - Oh my God. - Yeah, everybody fucking blew it. Drake made bullshit. - My team might be a wagon. - I took down the BS Express today. - James, oh my God. - I have Derek Henry, no big deal. - Bangkok, Craig need some help. - Bangkok, Craig. Bench, Jalen, Coker. - Can you explain why? - Salute the burden. - Why are you Bangkok, Craig again? Didn't they just think you would like Bangkok a lot? - Because we did that, I'll tell you. We did the rewatchables on the movie, "American Gangster." - Yeah, yeah. - Which I've never seen. - We watched that together, yeah. - That's right. - It was a core week. - That's correct. During the film, there are multiple scenes in Bangkok that look electric and I was talking about that on the pod. And we kind of crafted an alter ego of Bangkok, Craig. (laughing) That I'm really not embodying in my fantasy season, unfortunately. - Hasn't quite worked out for you yet. - I saw Jalen Coker, so we'll get there. - We'll get there. - That's tough. Eddie Money. - Eddie Money, Goat. ♪ Take me home tonight ♪ ♪ I don't wanna let you go to see the light ♪ - He's just got the saxophone, he's just holding it above his head. ♪ Be my little baby ♪ - He's like dancing like Mikey Sikki up there. (laughing) - He's reading. - Yeah, seriously. - I'm having to be quiet because it's 1.55 AM in a hotel room in Toronto on a Sunday, so I'm so far so-- - So good though. - Yeah. - Goodbye everyone. (upbeat music) - Must be 21 plus and present in select states. For Kansas and affiliation with Kansas Starkicino, or 18 plus and present in DC, Kentucky, or Wyoming, gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER, or 1-800-MY-RESET, call 1-888-789-7777, or visit ccpg.org/chat and Connecticut, or visit MD, gamblinghelp.org, in Maryland. Hope is here, visit gamblinghelplinema.org, or call 800-327-5050 for 24/7 support and Massachusetts, or call 1-800-778-HOPE-NY, or text "HOPE-NY" in New York, for Louisiana, call 1-800-777-707-867.