Speaker 1This episode is brought to you by Palmolive. Family time isn't just the big moments. It's weeknight dinners, sitting around the table, everyone talking all at once. So when the plates are empty and the sink is full, use Palmolive Ultra. Palmolive's most powerful formula removes up to 99.9% of grease, leaving your dishes sparkling clean. And the new convenient pump makes cleaning even easier, so you can spend less time tackling dishes and more time together. Shop now at palmolive.com.
Speaker 2Ultra running shoes are all about space. The space to go further, to feel better, to do something you never thought possible. And this space starts with Ultra Fit. Unlike traditional running shoes, Ultra Fit gives toes more room to move naturally, so every step is strong, balanced, and comfortable. Whatever you're lacing up for, stay out there with Ultra. Shop now at ultrarunning.com. That's A-L-T-R-A running dot com.
Speaker 3How's your life working out for you? Because if you're happy, like I say to people, if it's working, what are you doing here?
Speaker 4Yeah, like what are you doing here?
Speaker 3If it's working, why are you here? Why are you asking me? Because they're coming to me for something or like you said, I mean, your podcast is recovering a lot. So why are you in a room or why are you in a situation where you need recovery? I don't care where it is, if it's with a therapist, if it's with a doctor, in a rehab, in a resort in Costa Rica. Why are you here? Like think of the word recover even. Yeah, like so why? That's what I'm asking. Why are you here? So something in your life is not working. And Jess and I have a wonderful way of doing this with people. We have a program that my mentor gave us and it's a checklist. And you just check off all the things. Did your husband work for you? No. Did having that new baby work for you? Did you get that pocket dog work? Did getting your new car? Did getting the money? How about the fourth group job? Yeah. Did getting everything? Then why are you here? Yeah. If none of this worked, then why are you here? Then you're here because you need a new way of living. So I'm not going to convince you. I'm going to just show you or tell you that if you need me, I'm 52, I'm retired, I'm naked in my hot tub that my mom got me. Okay. So this is how I roll with people because if it can happen for me, why can't it happen for you? I'm not higher education. I went to the school of hard knocks, PhD, brass rail. There you go. No big deal. So if you want it, it's for anybody. It's for anybody and everybody. And the human experience, like why are you on earth? What are you doing here? Why are you on the planet earth? That's a deep question.
Speaker 5Let me start with, first of all, you said spiritual experience. What does that, I know this is a big question, but what does that mean to you? A spiritual experience?
Speaker 3Spiritual experience means that you're experiencing things spiritually. You are experiencing things in the spirit, not in the world. Not in the 3D. It's something, an experience, you're having an experience. What is an experience? It's a lesson, right? It's a lesson, isn't it? Is that what experience is? It's a lesson. It's a teaching through spirit eyes, not human eyes.
Speaker 4Right. So I can't tell you how to ride a bike. I can't show you how to ride a bike. You have to get on the bike and start riding it yourself in order to learn how to do that.
Speaker 5I heard that today on a podcast, actually. It's so interesting that you just said that. You can't tell you how to ride a bike, right? You have to experience it for yourself and it goes back to experience like you said. Why are we on this earth?
Speaker 4I was put here to carry a message. I was put here to carry a message. I was born what we call an addict, right?
Speaker 5I'm sorry, Jess, this is going to drive me nuts. And... I can't see.
Speaker 4Hi. And I had to go through many, many painful experiences in order to share how God got me through those painful experiences. Not just through, but with grace. So that's why I'm here, to carry that message.
Speaker 5Love it.
Speaker 3I thought I came to steal your husband, lady. To make sure that everyone worshiped me. I thought I was here for... Well, I don't even know what a Bugatti is. But for the nice car, for the big house. I thought I was here for really tight tits. And to make you worship me. And then I had what we just talked about, a spiritual experience awakening. And then I realized the only reason I'm on planet earth is to help. To be a servant. I'm a servant. That's who I am. It's like, why am I here on earth? I thought I was here to be the CEO. I thought I was here to be the boss lady.
Speaker 4I was wondering... I was wondering where my private jet was when I was like five years old, waiting for the bus with my mom. I was like, why are we at the bus stop? Where is my helicopter? So I don't know where that programming...
Speaker 5That's what I was going to ask. Where does that come from? Yeah.
Speaker 4Media.
Speaker 5Yeah.
Speaker 4Right. Music. Television.
Speaker 3Television. Tell lies to your vision. Or where does that programming come from now that I'm remembering who I am? See, I forgot who I was because I was what we'll call in our programming is blotting out the consciousness of my existence with whatever I... So for the layman, it's called putting weird things in my God-shaped hole, including your husband's penis. I mean, it gets real weird for me. And I don't do that anymore. You don't have to hold your people tight because I've recovered from that.
Speaker 4Hold your husband's hand tighter.
Speaker 3Don't hold your husband's hand tighter. I'm okay. But I think that programming comes from... Remembering who I am, too. See, this is not my first journey on Earth. Are you crazy? I've been here many times, but when I come through the birth canal, there's this magic thing that we forget. And I think the object of the game is to remember who you are. You know, you and I are in a program. We're all in a program here that says, remember always that your sex powers are God-given. Remember you tapped power.
Speaker 4Right. It also tells us to smash our ego. So in order to see and experience things spiritually, as my friend mentioned, my ego has to be completely dissolved. Because I was a spirit and I was a baby after I came through that birth canal. And as a baby, I did not have an ego. And I was sane. I was sane. And I was pure love. And something happened that blocked me from love. And jealousy got in the picture and wanting other people's things and husbands. And homes. And wanting other people's experiences. You know, wanting to do what they're doing. Not being comfortable with what I'm doing. I'm restless over here. I'm here. I want to be there. Right. I'm bored, restless, irritable, discontented.
Speaker 6Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 5I think, yeah, I mean, it's this sort of like, it makes me think about like attachment to things. Right. Where we learn that, I mean, at least I learned at a young age that, you know, this makes me a better person. Right. I'm a virtuous one and it's mine. Right. Like it's, this is mine. It happens with toys. I'm pointing my phone, by the way, for people that aren't watching.
Speaker 4It's funny that you say that because my friend's niece, she's like three years old. And on Christmas, I remember looking at my best friend. We, she was going, everything she opened, my book, my purse, my toy, my, my, my. And as I mentioned, we were babies without egos, but around three years old or whenever it happens, it happens. The ego just starts. It starts to intact.
Speaker 3Well, I think the first programming for everybody or first addiction is love because that's the only energy that there is, is love. That's the only energy that there is.
Speaker 5It's powerful too.
Speaker 3And so that's the first addiction. I always, you know, I mentor a lot of people. And so I always, you know, like you're, you're not, you don't have this problem, that problem. You have a love problem. Lack of love, lack of self-love, lack of giving love, lack of love for self. Like it goes deep. It's all about love. And then you start to start to love other things like alcohol, like men, like money, drugs, you know, like body image, all these different things we start to worship. And so I think the first, the very first addiction or the very first thing for everybody who comes out of womb is, is love because we get distracted, isn't it? Mom and dad get distracted. Then grandparents are distracted. And then we're in 2026. If you're listening to this podcast in 2050, things are real different every generation. Does that resonate? Like it's, it's this deep programming. It's this very deep programming that we all have to get rid of and remember who we are. This is, this is a whole collective thing that we need to do together. It's not just you. It's not me. Collectively, we need to do this.
Speaker 5Yeah, I agree. Just for context, before we go further, because I like that we're diving right into this headfirst. There's a lot of. you know, stuff I want to talk about and get into and I, it's very interesting. your perspectives even just before setting up like talking about i don't normally talk about this stuff right so it's it's good to get it out in the open and open my mind and i think uh if i want to say anything to people listening today is like keep an open mind through this fucking episode please because um yeah you're going to hear words like god and you're going to hear words that might make you uncomfortable and trigger you but in my experience when i the more open i am to these concepts and the more willing to explore them i just my life gets better right and me you know i take something here i pick up something here i leave something there that i don't like but keep an open mind i would say so um if you guys want to just give maybe a quick high level backstory of how you kind of got into this way of living and and what brought you into spirituality and how you got here so jess if you want to start okay so um i didn't i didn't use words like god
Speaker 4i didn't shudder at them but i didn't use them either i didn't subscribe to any religion or spiritualism i didn't subscribe to any religion or spiritualism i didn't subscribe to any religion or spirituality i subscribed to a life of thinking about myself only from when i was a baby i thought about myself only and if i didn't get my way i had a massive impending feeling of doom like the world would just collapse around me like i need one more hour of tv i need one more beanie baby i need one more troll and um that went on and on and it turned me into a monster that's the only way that i would be able to describe it and because it was a monster i was able to describe it and i was able to describe it and because it was the only life that i knew it was normal to me and until it started to feel really bad in here and when that happened to me i found a program and mentors within the program that taught me a new conception and a new belief system and a new way of living which involved the opposite of every single way that i was living it was really i was it was really dark the way that i was living it was really light and this other way that i was living was really really really attached to outcomes and really attached to material and this new way of living was completely separated from that and i was completely separated from all of these acting out behaviors and any type of drugs or drinking or love addiction or food addiction or shopping addiction or addiction to telling you know to people telling me that you know they they loved me or that they were you know attracted to me all of those addictions started to evaporate when i separated myself from self right and i met nikki in this program and she took me through um some work around some of these things and i started to live a lot different
Speaker 5that's a good way to sum it up yeah yeah that's beautiful well how did i get on this beautiful
Speaker 3blue couch with two star seeds wearing a blue shirt uh yeah wearing a blue shirt thank you for people just listening i'm matching the couch how did i get here well i was going to kill myself and kill my lover and how did i get to that point where i was going to kill myself and kill my another human a child of god um it started young because i was born into a family that's programmed into really sick programming the family disease of alcoholism addiction i don't care what it is and then i'll put down certain things and pick up other things so like my friend jess said here alcohol and drugs are her thing i put that down crystal meth and and uh all that good stuff doesn't do anything to me because when you snort a human i don't know if you've ever snorted a human anthony but it's oh man it's really it's really great there you go and if you snort and if you snort piles of money that feels good too and then if you snort piles of money that feels good too and then if you snort piles of money that feels good too and then if you snort piles of um self-righteousness self-pity and then there's no way out and so that's how i got here and i was you know i was in i'm beyond human aid that's why i'm here because i'm from orange county california the sun sea and sand don't work um i've had a shit ton of money i'm a retired burlesque entertainer if you're watching i used to be young and young and tight i'm 52 now i could you know work out a little bit more it might help but long story short i'm beyond human aid i tried all your pills those made me crazy and want to kill myself because i couldn't have an orgasm what antidepressant oh yeah you know when they make your your farfalla as dry as a sahara desert can i say that on your podcast sir and then you're like wait what went on oh it's the pills so no pills will help me and then no human aid no no one's going to help me and that's how i wound up here because all the answers are inside of me just like all the problems are inside of me and so i too like like like just said i needed a mentor a guide a a a someone to help me find find a way out and a way out of what nicky away out of his pants away out of the bottle way out of the baggie away out of the bank account no way out of my sick mind yeah away out of this crazy mind that never stops never stops never never stops and throw on it i'm a virgo type a that's just i'll never stop fuel to the fire
Speaker 4yeah i think what we're talking about is a thinking disease you know i really really am addicted to my sick thinking good thinking bad thinking just thinking so i needed a program that was going to show me where to place those thoughts i needed like action actionable items that showed me how to place my thought life on a spiritual level and i needed a program that was going to show me where to place my thought life on a spiritual plane because my thought life was on a material plane and it was making me really sick and it was causing a lot of destruction that i had and i'm having to work really hard at cleaning up yeah and it's the other thing too is for me at
Speaker 5least it's it's like it's a daily thing right it's not flip the switch and now i'm connected you know for life right i have to because i go back to that thinking of uh you know something i've noticed recently actually with my new connection to what i call god now is i started meditating as well like like seriously meditating every morning not just you know here and there yeah i'll do it to check the box like i actually started dialing in 10 15 minutes every morning and i've been doing it for three weeks now i think and it's changing my life like honestly it's starting i i start to really catch my thinking in midair and myself to what you're talking about and for me what's coming what comes up a lot is i like to judge people and for whatever reason i just i get an instant resentment yeah and it just and and that's what takes me out to drink eventually too because i'm like holding on to that righteous anger of i don't know why it doesn't make any sense but it's for me it's you're addicted to anger probably probably but it's so specific with that guy has a lot of money he's rich this is the story i spend in my head therefore he's a piece of shit and uh i'm going to judge him on his actions and this and that so those those are the things but what i noticed this time around is i'll start to catch those thoughts before they get
Speaker 3to me yelling at my wife or you know and what if i gave you some radical programming to that thought and said because you're because i i see that you know what you can and can't do anthony and so it's like anthony can never pick up a drink again you could never pick up a person outside of your marriage and you're like these are deep things you can never pick up those certain drugs or even a sugar whatever it is that you can't pick up what if i told you you cannot pick up judging other people like put the stamp on it like this is how serious like that's why i say the programming the programming goes very deep you're not allowed to do that anymore sir so what do you do so first thought is that guy's rich he's a piece of shit or i should have or blah blah blah second thought is the new programming the new programming says what what would the new programming say for something like that he's a
Speaker 4to be helpful and you need to be a friend to everyone so i don't have room i don't have room to be thinking about what she has that i don't if i'm thinking about how i'm going to be helpful to someone maybe it's not even her just fucking someone and then anthony said this next thing
Speaker 3which is okay i'm not going to judge but then you've got to replace it and you said well then i'll smile at him see there's the oh that's an action there's the action that's a lot of people and that's hard to do that's hard it's hard but it works but it does work and so maybe you don't judging you're going to look for something good about it like wow nice watch like yeah
Speaker 4materials i love it we're all on the right couch money money because it doesn't get removed it doesn't get removed we just have a way of dealing with it like you had mentioned meditation and yeah for sure it's in our book and it's in many other spiritual practices but i actually need help figuring out how to slow the fuck down last time i got into a car accident sober i called this one i'm like she's like huh slow down literally and figuratively you know i need to slow down so that i can hear god and i can't i can do that in meditation but i also need to be able to do that when i'm in motion throughout my
Speaker 3day so how programming it's the programming we everybody listening in from around the world we are in toronto canada the i think it's the fourth or fifth largest city in North America. And we have been programmed to go, go, go, go, go, get, get, get, get, get. And I'm a judger like you. And what are you sitting there just staring at the roses for? What are you sitting there just rubbing your rosary, Nona? You think you're a judger? I'm judging Nona in her black dress, rubbing her rosary. And then God puts the shoe on me like he did with the six-inch stiletto when I was a burlesque entertainer for many years, judging how could a mother be a dancer. Then I see that that's the best feeling in the world, just to sit, meditate, known as meditating, known as in her little black dress, known as lost her husband and her son. And the only safe space for Nona is to sit and think about how much her God loves her. You understand? Like, that's when I saw like, be, not do, because I'm like, Nona, you own that house there. You own that. You have a house in Italy. Why the hell aren't you in Italy enjoying? Why aren't you wearing pink? Nona's finally dead. Go enjoy your life. You see what I mean, Anthony? And then I'm like, no, no, no, Nona, her happy space is sitting and just, and that happened to me in COVID when I lost all my rights because I didn't get that, the government mandates and, you know, those are other issues. But I sat there. I was forced to sit, lost my job, lost all my rights. My farfalla wasn't touched because my boyfriend lives in Europe.
Speaker 4Well, for me, because money is my first addiction. God sometimes removes me from money. Okay. And then when I don't have my money, my money, money, money, so I can go over here and travel over here and go to a shop and buy this, I have to sit still. I can't move around as much. And the money that I worshiped so much, the ironic thing about it is because I was craving freedom to move around, but I had none because I was literally in jail in my head. And I've never had so much freedom, but I needed to burn a lot of money in order to become desperate enough to figure out a program in order for me to change my life. So this is the full circle stuff.
Speaker 5When did that happen for you? Like not two and a half years ago, because I'm currently going through that right now.
Speaker 6Two and a half years ago.
Speaker 5I knew I was going to hear something I needed to hear today.
Speaker 6Going through what, Anthony?
Speaker 3What are you going through right now?
Speaker 5Chasing the money, the, the, I need money. And I don't have enough of it.
Speaker 4Oh, that was, that's, that's where you guys. That was me five, five, five years old through 33 years old. That was her five minutes ago. That was me this morning.
Speaker 3That was me this morning. That was her this morning and me about 10 minutes.
Speaker 4Okay. So that was me five through 33 years old, but for the last two and a half years, still me, but I have the tools to get out of it. Right.
Speaker 5You're not blocked by it.
Speaker 4I am, but I can unblock. Right.
Speaker 5Okay.
Speaker 4Because I have the, I have the ability to tap the power, but I have to make a decision. I have to make a decision to do it. Right. I'm not going to tell people that I just wake up and I've been reprogrammed and I know how to think properly. And also, and to your earlier point about smiling at someone, like it does, we're not saying, oh, intuitively, I am going to love this person. We are saying here is an actionable item. And then when you, you know, those people that say that, like that laughing yoga, where they're like, if you just start laughing, then you'll eventually just be laughing. Do you know, do you know what I'm talking about?
Speaker 3No, I haven't heard of it, but it makes sense. If you start being great. If you start having gratitude, you're going to have a lot of gratitude.
Speaker 4Right. If you start smiling at people, people will start smiling back. And that's another thing in our program that we talk about a lot, which is kind of how I would describe it is you get what you give simply. Right. And so I, I was getting a lot of being cheated and being manipulated shocker because I was manipulating and cheating and hustling everyone. Right. And lying and not showing up for them and shocker. I would get people around. Me that were not showing up for me. And now I have more people that I can count. I could cry that show up for me in a, in a big way, a big way, but I had to do the work around it, which just means that I had to show up for people, which I didn't know how to do before someone showed me how to do it.
Speaker 3And remember, Anthony, like in, in listeners out there, we're talking about God, the spiritual principles and, and of what you're understanding, but money disguises itself. And it looks like God. It makes you feel real good. Gives you everything you want. Gives you wings. Gives you wings. Gives you power. Gives you the power over others. So money is, it looks like, and can feel like God.
Speaker 4It's the closest thing that it's the closest thing that mimics God. There isn't one other thing. I don't care.
Speaker 3That mimics God that way. So then you put the stamp on it, just like you did. And I keep saying the stamp on it, the programming. I don't get to obsess about money. You don't because, and then you program your mind into like, cause come on, let's get honest here, Anthony, you've had a shit ton of money and you've had no money and you're still suffering the same. So what is more money going to do to you? So again, it's about remembering and being reminded.
Speaker 4And that's why when you asked me, you know, why are we here on earth? Like based on my experiences, I have a little bit more of an insight onto that because, because of what Nikki just said, I, I needed to go through these experiences of, of having a lot of X, Y, Z and having none of it so that I could compare notes and say, I still felt like shit. So obviously having it, isn't the answer, not having it, isn't the answer. Getting it back. Isn't the answer. I had to search some, someplace else for it. It was in here the whole fucking time.
Speaker 5We use outside things to change our insides, right? Yeah. I mean, it's all day and every day. I like what you said though, about like the stamp on it. To me, it's like, uh, I use judging and anger as a drug. Same. I chop it up. I line it up and I just snort it right fucking every day of my life. You can't, you don't, we don't have the luxury. What is it? The dubious luxury of normal men to be angry.
Speaker 4No, we don't actually, uh, my best friend who I'm helping with a situation with her husband right now. And she goes, it's really good. We had a great date night. Everything's going really well and they have a baby and it's really important that they do get along. And she was telling me I'm feeling really good. And I, and, and she, she's a rageaholic. She gets really, really off on rage. And I said to her, okay, so just don't, um, don't ruin the momentum. Like if you feel like you want to say something sarcastic or rude, just don't. It's the same as me taking a line of cocaine for two seconds. It will feel good, but then it will, it will ruin all of my progress that I've made all day long or in the last day or the last two years or whatever. So you cannot, to Nikki's point, you are not. You are not allowed to get angry.
Speaker 3And let's go deeper with that with your friend. Cause we're going to send her this podcast, your bestie, and let's go deeper. So you're not allowed to tell your husband something angry. You, Anthony, you're not allowed to tell your wife, but you've got to replace it. See, that's what people think. I'm not going to do cocaine anymore. I'm not going to drink anymore. I'm not going to have sex anymore. What are you replacing it with in, in, in, in the programming that you and I are in, we replace it, Anthony, with service to others. So what can I do for him? So what can you, so you want to replace it with service to others. You want to scream at your husband and get real crazy. So radical concept. So what are you going to say instead of calling him an asshole or give him, give him. Wow. Your blue eyes are so sparkly. You know what I mean? Matt, Anthony, your wife will hear this too. And Anthony's wife, your beard's trimmed. Perfect. You see what I mean? Like your wife could say that instead of going, you're an asshole. Anthony would be like, Oh honey, your, your beard looks good today. You got number one, 35 hair. Perfect. Like, you know what I mean? Like you can get, I like those pants on you. They look good. You sometimes have to dig deep. You sometimes have to get creative. This is what it is. God gave us the brain. Use it for good instead of for greed. Use it. So, so, you know, like the money instead of going, you need more money. Wouldn't it be like, you're an abundance, dude. You are so in a, what the hell do you need more money for? For a bigger car, for a better pair of pants. You got pants on, you got shoes on. What the hell do you need more money for? And then you get into using the brains and into the reality. Cause let's go deeper. And you talk about this, Anthony, you tell us we're in a spirit world. Where the hell are you spending your money in a spirit world? But Nikki, I'm in the world. I need, yes. That doesn't mean you don't work. That doesn't mean you just sit and do nothing while waiting. God's going to give me. But that's a good question.
Speaker 4That's a really good question that Nikki asks me a lot when I'm in my insanity. Jessica, do you have what you need? Right now, like, like Anthony, ask yourself, Anthony to self to self. Do you have what you need? Do you have what you need in the fridge and over your head and a beautiful wife?
Speaker 5The heat's on, right? Yeah.
Speaker 4And then you can, like, we don't, we aren't, another thing we aren't allowed to do is future trip. I'm not allowed to think about, oh, oh, but what about in six weeks? Oh, but what about in six months? Oh, but what about in six years? I'm not allowed, allowed to do that. Neither. I'm not allowed to snort future tripping.
Speaker 3Doesn't work for me. Because we're here now. We're here right now. Like, what is, I have a crackhead Carl. I'm going to send this podcast to you too. Hi, Carl. Hi, Carl. And he's always like. He's our friend. And he is. And he's always like, and I can do this on camera because we're on camera. And he's always like this. He's always like, what is missing in this moment, Nikki? Nothing. Go deep with like, what is missing in this moment? Oh, it'd be better if Anthony's wife is here. If I had. If my dogs were here. If I had a baby breastfeeding. A better studio. A bigger. Tighter tits. No, nothing is missing. Why do I keep going to tighter tits? Nothing is missing. Sex addicts, I'm sorry. Nothing is missing.
Speaker 4And if I'm there, I'm not here, right? And so how can I be of maximum usefulness to you or you or this, what we're doing right now together if I'm over there? So what I've been taught is slow down, pause. And in that slow down and pause, I've realized that I can't be two places at once. And then I'm told in my programming that I have to be of service. And to be of maximum service, I have to be here. So I'm actually doing everyone a disservice if I'm here. But in my old selfish thinking, I didn't give a fuck about that. So it didn't occur to me to not be in my fantasy and then be doing everything that I can and stepping on every single human being that got in my way to get to that fantasy. So it didn't occur to me to not be in my fantasy and then be doing everything that I can and stepping on every single human being that got in my way to get to that fantasy. I don't even get to be in that fantasy anymore because I have to be here being of service to you. So how beautiful is that?
Speaker 3Nothing new under the sun here, Anthony. No, it's not. I mean, you're Italian, right, Anthony? Yeah. So let's take us back 2,000 years ago, Roman times. We're sitting on a blue couch right now, people, but we could be sitting around being fanned in our togas and there's nothing new. This is the stuff we're supposed to talk about, not the Super Bowl that's coming up, not the distractions of the whatever.
Speaker 4Not the Super Bowl that's fixed and the billboards. There's a billion-dollar gaming industry around it that's bleeding people dry.
Speaker 5Especially young men.
Speaker 3You see the distractions. So what if we took the young men and sat around instead of a coliseum watching the people be eaten alive? The bread and circus. The bread and circus. What if we just sat here and talked about these things? Talked about how you're going to serve your wife when you go home, how you're going to serve your community, or I'm going to serve my mother who lives with me, Anthony, because I'm going to serve my mother who lives with me. Because I'm going to serve my mother who lives with me. Because I'm going to serve my mother who lives with me. Because I'm going to serve my mother who lives with me. Because I'm going to serve my mother who lives with me. Because I'm going to serve my mother who lives with me. Her husband, this is the disease. Her husband, seven years ago, took a pistol and blew his head off in front of her in Prescott, Arizona. Jessica does service for my mom a lot because I'm like, can you get this old lady off my hands?
Speaker 4Didn't die right away, by the way.
Speaker 3Didn't die right away. My mom had to watch it. Plans and designs. They landed the helicopter in the middle of the road, and now my mom lives with me forever. So you see why I work a serious program because they'll be, you know, I can easily slip into homicide, suicide.
Speaker 4And by the way, that that wasn't part of Nikki's plan. So obviously. So what type of energy would she be wasting thinking about her five year plan?
Speaker 5And poor me.
Speaker 4So it's like it's not part of her five year plan. So imagine if she had spent all this time, you know, connecting the dots around the five year plan. It's like it's not it's not happening the way that we want it to happen.
Speaker 3We all have five year plans in COVID. COVID hit. We all have plans. We all have plans before we. Whatever you relapse or you don't relapse or whatever, whatever it looks like. And and this is really and that's why there's a there's a word in our in our in our programming that we use a lot. It's radical. This is radical. The human experience. Let me look at the camera. It's so radical. Most people don't make it. That makes sense to you. Most people will not make the human. They'll they'll have a mediocre life. They might not be. Dead, though, the way they may as well fucking be dead.
Speaker 5No, they're sleeping.
Speaker 3Yeah, they're all MPCs. What are those things called? Non non character players.
Speaker 5And oh, I was going to say away from keyboard AFK when you're not at the computer, you're just completely gone. No, that's what that's actually what I was thinking, too, is like how much time you could have wasted. Right. Just poor me. How did this happen to me now? I got to take care of my mom. And how am I going to get out of this? Right. And you're just burning. You're just burning up energy foolishly, as you always say, like, or I can be a good daughter and give back and actually enjoy life. Right. But there's so many people that just aren't doing that. Right. That it's like, no.
Speaker 3And then and then you don't know what's going to happen. Like, my mom bought me a jacuzzi in my backyard. Like, you see what I mean? Like, come over. Anybody who wants to come over. And it's like, how did you know? I didn't know because that wasn't my plan. I'm supposed to be married. I was supposed to be living in Europe with Mr. Luxembourg. I'm like, no, you're supposed to be at home. You're supposed to be taking care, doing these things. And it's it's a life beyond my wildest dreams because I can't I would have never planned this. Would you plan this right now? No. Sitting here with these people like it's it's it's amazing what you do when you get new programming. This is all about new programming. So how do you get the new programming? And there's many ways to get new programming.
Speaker 4And by taking your mind off the outcome, you open your world up to so many bigger and better outcomes. Because if I'm focused on like my brain is finite, God's plans, the universe, whatever the fuck you want to say, it's infinite. That's unlimited amount of possible outcomes. And here I am focusing on the one guy. Oh, and I need him to do what I what I want him to do. And he doesn't do it. And so I'm over here being really disappointed that he didn't fit into my plan. But meanwhile, God has all of these bigger and better things. But I can't see them when I'm late. I told you we can't I can't be in two places at one time. So I'm laser focused on this. Oh, I need what I want. I want what I want. And I can't see. So when I'm unblocked from being unattached to outcomes and I have the freedom to say, like, I don't know what's going to happen. And that's cool. And I'm just going to be of service and I'm going to be in the present. I can start to see all the cool things that God is doing for me. But I can't see them when I'm in that state of mind, that crazy, insane state of mind.
Speaker 5Why do you think? We always go back to it. Like, why do you think we because it's all we know.
Speaker 3It's the programming that we know. It's easier to go down. The programming that, you know, isn't it easier if I said to you, let's let's go take, you know, we're going to go to your house right now. We're all going to hop in your car and you're going to take the route that, you know. But what if I said, let's take a different route? Well, Nikki, I don't know. I don't know if that's going to work out. You see what I mean? Like, it's easy to and it's to fall back asleep is so easy because we're programmed. This is radical. So let me ask. This is what I like to ask your audience. If you don't or let me ask you, who programmed you, Anthony? Who programmed you and go from utero, if you can remember?
Speaker 5I think it's more than one person.
Speaker 3Why don't you came out of your mom? Yeah.
Speaker 5Like the moment you came out, what was I like? Retell the whole story. It was bright in there. Do you feel the love from your dad enough or are you still suffering from that? Open up. I'm weird. I would say, yeah, parents and society.
Speaker 3Like, let's go deep because I mean, I can just assume you're Italian. So you've got some cultural, cultural norms. You've got a no, no, and no, no. And I don't even know an Italian great uncle. Great, great. You know, there's words for that. Then you've got, then you've got your, then you've got school. Go deeper. Now you've got your culture. You've got Toronto culture, but maybe, you know, you know, you're, you're, you're from the back country. And so now you've got these old country values too, from, from your family. And then now you've, you see the programming. Then you've got your government programming. Now you've got your television programming. Now, now then you went to this conservative university or you went to this liberal. It goes so deep. So why do we fall back asleep? That's a lot of programming, sir. And if you're older, like me, like, like my mom, like it's hard to reprogram her. We've tried to reprogram your mom, lady.
Speaker 4Oh, so, so on that note though, um, I'm reprogrammed. I mean, I'm reprogrammed. So I have to change my reaction to people that have old programming. Does that make, that's one of our action items. Like I don't get to go around and say, you need to be reprogrammed. Like maybe they don't want to, maybe they're not in enough pain. I certainly was in enough pain. It's different. So I don't get to respond in weird ways just because people aren't responding to me the way that I want them to respond.
Speaker 3No, but when you get reprogrammed, when you get reprogrammed, okay. And you go home to your mom or my mom, or when you go home. To your wife or family, friends, coworkers, when you're reprogrammed and it's, this is an old one. As above, so below as within, so without like you, we're, we're all mirror reflections, Anthony. I hate to tell you this. I'm you, you're me. Now, if you're, if anyone's watching this on YouTube, we look very different. We're the same. I'm you, you're me. We're just in a different meat suit, but let's pull off our meat suit. Let's pull off all of this and your bright light inside of you is identical to mine.
Speaker 4Well, that is to Anthony's question about, um, what was your question about why we returned to sanity? You didn't say why we fall back asleep, why we fall back asleep. Like I'm so uncomfortable on this planet. I don't want to be in this body. I wasn't, um, equipped for this. Right. So all of these worldly things, we call them the worldly clamors. They make me crazy because I don't want to be here. Right. I'm a soul. I'm a spirit. Yeah. We're souls. We're spirits. Yeah.
Speaker 5And then you add the basic human needs of needing to belong. Right. And then how am I supposed to belong with buddy that has a Bugatti? Like you said, I must need a Bugatti to belong with him. Um, let's see, like, what are the other ones I needed to be useful, right. To my tribe. So how can I be useful to my tribe? So yeah, it's a good point. If you're hanging out with people that are asleep all the time or believing in one thing, you're going to believe in that thing. Yeah.
Speaker 4They're in the three dimensional world and I want to be in the five dimensional world and I can flip flock back and forth all day. Because I have to be here and I have to make money to be here. but it's painful. That's why I fall back into insanity or fall back asleep. For me, a sleep is blotting out with Netflix or scrolling through my phone or spending money that I shouldn't be spending or eating something that I will regret later or overexercising so that I can forget about what I ate yesterday. Like I go back to sleep in those ways. Does that make sense?
Speaker 3Yeah. And that's why there's a key word in our programming, Anthony, it says practice. I like the scenario of young people. You may not know the original version of Karate Kid. Oh, that's a great, that's a great metaphor. Okay. With Ralph Macchio and the old guy, they wax on, wax off Danielson. And he's like, why am I doing this up and down? You do that every day. And then when you're confronted to do the crane move and don't make me get up and start doing the crane move. I'm the crane move when it all comes together, because there's a lot of crane moves. When he comes up, he's like, I'm the crane move. And then when he comes up, he's like, I'm the crane move. And then when he comes up, he's like, I'm the crane move. And then when he comes up, he's like, I'm the crane move. And then when he comes up, he's like, I'm the crane move. And then when he cuts you off on the 401 on the highway, that's when the wax on wax off comes all off. And you're like, you're like, okay, breathe. And you remember what to do. Does that make sense? So that's why we have to practice. That's a key word. How, why do we fall back asleep? Some of you fall back asleep because you're not practicing. Yeah. You're just not practicing. You don't get a day off when you're trying to reprogram yourself. That's, that's hard. And that's why I say most
Speaker 5people won't make it. Yeah. And what's make it? Yeah. What is, what is it? What is make it?
Speaker 4Walk around free, like walk around without worrying, without being in care. I care. I care. I care about this. I care about that. Walk around without feeling bored, right? Oh, I'm so bored. I'm so bored. This is boring. No, it's not. You're boring. Yeah. Well, I think free is like,
Speaker 3I don't go to protests anymore. I used to do the world naked bike ride. Okay. And that's the best protest. Everybody out there, you're amateurs. If you have clothes on, okay. No one's looking at you. No one's looking at you. And actually we get a police escort in Toronto and I did the world naked bike ride for oil, blah, blah, blah. And it's like, now this, all this, this world's full of protest. Okay. Now I don't do that anymore. Why? Not because I don't care about things. Not because, because it's futile and fatal. Do you understand what I mean? Because real change comes from within. Yes. Real change comes from within. Real change comes from within. Real change comes from within. Over the years, what have protests done? I mean, I mean, I'm not knocking it. Please go. We need everybody to have a voice. And then people are like Nikki, but then you wouldn't have a right to vote and you wouldn't have a right. The woman's lib, uh, that woman's, uh, movement didn't work out for me. It didn't work out for a lot of women. I'm going to be honest. It didn't work out for me. I'm too hormonal to be working. I didn't want to have a 9 to 5 job. I don't want to be mom and dad and it didn't work out for me. So I don't know. You, you see what I mean? The woman's lib, uh, I don't know. But you wouldn't have had, I don't know. So I don't do those things. I've been reborn in a way that when I change, well, Gandhi said it, be the change you want to see. Yeah. Be the change. And I know Gandhi did protests and all these things, but I think the real change came from when he made the change himself in himself. It goes back to control what you can control and leave what you can't control. Right. Focus on like what you're saying makes complete sense to me. And I can see why people
Speaker 5would yell at you and get angry and say, wow, we need protests for this and that. But what's my relationship behind the, the issue? Am I like crying every night because I'm not doing anything, but I'm showing up day after day and now I have a resentment towards the man and the government. And that's what I always, that's what, that was my thing with it. Always. It was like, I'm just, it's my relationship. That's the problem to the, to the issue. Right. I can, I am just in resentment and now it's us versus them. And now we've, we've
Speaker 3we see what's happening in the States. But is that, is that, I like how you, I like how you're using the word relationship because is it a distraction from your relationship with yourself? Because have you done all of the things for your relationship with yourself before you put on your protesting? Yeah. And, and the relationship with self is the relationship with God, because I'm going to, this, this, I mean, this, this might be a controversial, like you said, it might trigger someone. Well, Hey, everybody, life is a trigger. Waking up is a trigger if you're Nicky M. Okay. And so I have to really have a relationship with the one who has all power. And where do I find that inside of me? Inside. There's nothing when I think when the human race realizes there's nothing outside of you, there's nothing outside of you. Everything you need is inside. We have, we, we're so powerful. We've been put to sleep. They have worked so hard. They, you know who they are.
Speaker 4They have worked. So hard at convincing us. Otherwise they have spent trillions and trillions and trillions of dollars to convince us. Otherwise, why would they do that? Why would they work so hard at that? If there was nothing to battle, if there was nothing to battle, then why would they try to separate us from it so much?
Speaker 3Anthony, do you know how powerful you are? I want you to look back over your shoulder metaphorically. Haven't you always gotten what you want? I mean, this is a yes or no question. Maybe not the way you want it, maybe not when you wanted it, but have you really, truly, your heart's desire, not your mind's, when you look back, haven't you gotten what you wanted?
Speaker 5Yeah, yeah. I mean, it goes back to that passage in the book about what I needed was what I wanted the entire time. It's like I always thought I wanted this, but then God or the universe, whatever, higher power, shows me that this is what you need, buddy, and then this is actually what you wanted the whole time because, yeah, what I want is to lie on the couch with my wife at the end of the night and just sit. Those are the moments where I'm like, huh, yeah, this is what it's about. There it is.
Speaker 3And so you've always had it in you. You're real powerful, but we get, they, those people, society, the programming puts us to sleep and we forget. We have forgotten how powerful we are. We are so powerful. And that's what I think the world's afraid of right now. Like we are very, and I don't mean powerful in that way. What I, you know what I mean? Like the power that's inside of us, the power to love, the highest vibration being your authentic self. Vibrating it, authenticity is the highest vibration, not love. Vibrating in authenticity.
Speaker 5So do me a favor, differentiate, like, because lack of power is our dilemma, right? So I, I get what you're saying. I just, can you clear up? Like what, what do you mean by that power versus I need a greater power? Like lack of power.
Speaker 3Lack of power, meaning I, I don't, I can't stop. Once I start, I can't stop. I have lack of power. I can't control the amount of anything I'm taking. Let's go to thoughts so we can get the entire human race in here. I can't control the amount. I take a thought. No one loves me. Okay. Or I'm not good enough. I'm not pretty enough. And then the next thought is, oh, you know, I'm ugly. I should, I need surgery. I'm never going to get out of this. So, so there's the thought pattern. So you're powerless over that. But the reality of it is you do have power because if you take that first thought, right? I'm whatever the first thought is. And then you remember who you are because it seems it's a seemingless seemingly, sorry, seemingly. Seemingly hopeless. So it only seems that way.
Speaker 6It's not real.
Speaker 3Your attic life is your only normal one. But what have I told you? Your normal one is really filled with power that you've been bamboozled that we're really let's go deep to my Christian friends out there. Ye forget ye are gods. That's my new line. I love that. I love, I love a radical, forget, I don't even know. Some of you Bible quoters, if we were live on a podcast, like live, you could put it in there, but you forget, you forget your God's am I the creator of the universe? No, no, but I'm all part of it. I'm part of source. You're part of source, your part. We're all part of source. Then. So the three of us coming together, we are vibrating real high right now. We're all feeling we're deep in love. And that agape love, we all respect each other. We're all feeling, feeling good and feeling powerful. I don't need to leave here and do anything but love. That's and that's the energy we want every day now. See? Imagine now. So we take that energy. You'll take it home. You'll take it and we'll say it's eight o'clock in the morning. We have to go to work now and we take it out. And now there's things that are going to come in. And so we have to remember how powerful we are because when I first came in, I've been in these rooms and being in this type of programming, um, for 14 years. And so now I'm remembering, not that I'm sick because I remembered for a long time, I'm sick, but now I'm remembering that I have power now. I'm remembering that my sex powers are God given and not to be used lightly. Why am I spreading Eagle for everybody? No, I'm too old anyway to do that anymore. But why was I too dangerous out there now? Yeah.
Speaker 4Well, I'll tell you why to get power. I know why I was doing it to get power over people. That was my power that I used on everyone. Right. And I don't need to do that now because I don't. Yeah. I need to change the way that I feel because I feel really good right now with you guys here, so I don't need to move from one field to another. to the next constantly which is what it felt like to be an addiction and what it feels like to be an addiction still when i'm not using these tools when i fall back asleep yeah i want to ask you guys
Speaker 5this um if if somebody knew someone just checking out this recovery stuff has made it this far into the podcast at this point to listen to the next sentence what do you what do you what do you what do you say to that person that when they just come in and they hear all this you know spiritual stuff or anyone that you know is agnostic what do you say to that person to kind of open their mind a little bit or at least what helped you maybe i don't know how's your life working out for you
Speaker 3because if you're happy like i say to people what if it's working what are you doing here yeah like what are you working why why are you here why are you asking me because they're coming to me for something or or like you said i mean your recovery is your your podcast recovering out loud so why are you in a room or why are you in a situation where you need recovery i don't care where it is if it's not working for you if it's with a therapist if it's with a doctor in a rehab in a in a resort in costa rica why are you here like think of the word recover even yeah like so why that's what i ask is why are you here so something in your life is not working and jess and i have a wonderful way of doing this with people we have a program that um my mentor gave us and it's a checklist and you just check off all the things did your husband work for you no did having that new baby work for you to getting that pocket dog work to getting your new car to getting the money about the fourth job yeah did did getting every well then why are you here yeah if none of this worked then why are you here then you're here because you need a new way of living so i'm not going to convince you i'm going to just show you or tell you that if you need me i'm well i'm 52 i'm retired i'm naked in my hot tub that my mom got me okay so this is how i roll with people because if it can happen for me why can't it happen for you i'm not higher education i went to the school of hard knocks phd brass rail there you go no big deal so if you want it you it's for anybody it's for anybody and everybody but if your life is working so great for you i have a 21 year old son and that's what i said to him one day i said how's it working out for you let me know you go do you go do you boo mom's naked in the hot tub and when you suffer enough let me know and then sure enough he comes back no it's true people
Speaker 4come with these problems and then you you you show them this sort of simple solution and they look at you like you have two heads because they actually just i don't know wanted you to agree
Speaker 5with them that their life is shit and that there's no way out right like you want you want me to tell
Speaker 4you that there's no way out because that's not true that's not my experience and that's the only thing that i can share with you is my experience i feel good i don't want to change the way that i
Speaker 5feel when i'm tapped into this to your point though i mean in my experience i had you have to get beaten up like really i mean i had to get beaten to a pulp on every level i've tried and beyond human aid again i've tried all the human things and that's what i'd say with new guys too is like what what have you tried yeah like the doctor didn't work for you right you know doctor said i was an addict okay now what you know what do i do now the rehab it worked until it didn't right it's it's for me a rehab is a great place it's it's something that guides me into the
Speaker 4solution right it kind of if that's where people find the solution then that's great yeah but again
Speaker 5it goes back to i can't go to rehab at least in my experience i don't go to rehab and then i'm fucking safe for the rest of my life unless you carry the bubble with me everywhere right unless
Speaker 4you're going to be locked up forever with a bodyguard as it says well and then i see a lot
Speaker 3of people too like they'll be here and then they forget that they got to do the work every day you know our program says the desperation of a drowning person and and you you you know we all study kind of the same literature and so what i've done with that literature you're not supposed to alter it but i've altered it so after every sentence it says every day every day i need to smash the idea every day is a day i must carry every day i make a decision every day i clean up my past every you don't get a day this is radical no but with the with with the discipline and here it is if you're listening to us and you're like well i don't know if i need that are you disciplined are you because if you're not disciplined you won't make it do you make your bed every day and then go deeper consistency because you've been here a while we've all seen it the people who who are who are disciplined and consistent in life they make it it's just it's just the way it goes this is radical we're we're i always say like we're um we're we're an army of angels who's to say that an angel doesn't look like us angels with skin on you know and there's the good and the bad in all of us everybody has the good and everybody has the bad no one is just good and no one is just bad no during covid i remember when i was so angry at the government okay because i didn't do all of that and then i remember what it said that you know even my prime minister is good even the government is good and i had to remember when the government was good when i moved from orange county california to toronto with a car seat a suitcase and a baby and they gave me free daycare so i could spin around a pole and they gave me uh mother's allowance so i could get an apartment so my government's not all bad right but in that moment anthony when they said i was a bioweapon and i had no rights they were the devil to me but then i had to remember when nikki you could have lived under a bridge but your government gave you and your daughter everything you needed to get kick-started into into a home right down the street here you see like i forgot there's good and bad in everybody in everybody you just have to look
Speaker 5you just have to look it's right this is such a great point that's such a good point gratitude right it just goes back to gratitude there it is we have a magic magnifying mind we
Speaker 4are powerful that story it is magnifying if i look at things about you that i don't like you're gonna be like this big to me and i'm very powerful at doing that who this big i can make you feel but i can also make you this big i can worship the ground that you walk on when i start to look at this thing and that thing and this thing about you it magnifies if i think about a blue car that's all i'm going to see on the street just go ahead and try it it's real it's real
Speaker 3do we snort enough god dope right now i think for today i think we do
Speaker 5we gotta i don't know we gotta land this this plane um should we offer an invitation to your
Speaker 3audience like really to think about some of the things we said today we have to land it in so like if what you're doing is working for you then you know take what you like and leave the rest but if if you're wondering like how all of the three of us are sitting here going like this is the greatest day of my life no you didn't get that money that you're obsessing about no i didn't get the tighter tits today and no jessica well her list is endless you guys but we're here like like nothing's missing and so if you want that i would challenge your audience and your viewers and your listeners to just go what are these people talking about how do i get what they do and maybe take some notes maybe take some actions of what we talked about when you're jealous of someone when you like you said the guy has whatever you want are you looking at the god in him maybe that would be the challenge to land the plane like we can because i see the god in you man anthony wow real big god in you and i always see the god in you i've seen the devil
Speaker 5too everybody and jess or maybe we could talk about this is a good segue into what your side project or your project that i'm going to be a part of and i'm excited for if you guys like what you're hearing you want to dive deeper into spirituality we actually have an actionable item that we are going to do so why don't you
Speaker 4talk about your what you want okay so we have a podcast launching next week or the week after it's called soul school nikki calls us soul surgeons can you explain what a soul surgeon does
Speaker 3yeah soul surgeon so next time you're filling an application if you're like me and they say like what's your occupation i put in soul surgeon so be free and then everyone's looking at me what does that mean it means that i operate on your soul and how do i operate on your soul with the spiritual principles how do you you know i give you the tools because the tools are available to anybody we lay out the tools for you and then what happens when we when i'm a soul surgeon i teach you how to be a soul surgeon just shows you how to be a soul surgeon and that's what we do so we have a soul school and we're going to teach everybody how to be a soul surgeon and so what does that mean we're going to show you how to how to love your teenager even when they can't love themselves we're going to show you how to forgive the unforgivable we're going to teach you how to be patient when you are the time's ticking your biological clock you're going but i'm still no we're going to show you how to be patient we're going to show you that you are not lacking we're going to show you that the obsession of gratitude is the best obsession and we're going to teach you how to do that so that's what we're that's what our podcast is about how to become a soul surgeon how to get your highest education in soul school oh and here i just want to warn everybody jess and we should probably there's no graduation you're in soul school forever until you cross back to your original place and i don't know where that is and that's a whole nother podcast for another day anthony so you can find us on
Speaker 4instagram at the real soul school and we'll provide details in the description yeah i'm
Speaker 5gonna put all in the show notes and it's gonna be i'm excited yeah it's fired up of uh we don't i
Speaker 4don't hear this stuff enough you know i'm really excited to work with you and really grateful for
Speaker 3you thanks yeah me too anthony i just want to thank you because everybody you know you're wanting more things and i have to tell you i do have another podcast we won't talk about it's different whole different energy but i only i do it off my phone and to sit here with some cameras
Speaker 5and this booming mic don't thank me yet it hasn't happened yet it's gonna work out but this is
Speaker 3exciting you see so just through the process of just and then here i am on your on your couch with this fun stuff and i don't even know how to turn anything on but my phone so thank you so much anthony for having us here today and and sharing the message of love and authenticity i'm i'm i'm grateful and i want to thank your wife just in advance because i can just see you guys just love each other i don't even know her but you're just a good guy and thank you thank you that's beautiful
Speaker 7thanks nikki thanks jess thanks for listening please help us grow the channel and like share and subscribe for more content the discussions and stories shared on this podcast are for informational and motivational purposes only this content is not a substitute for professional medical advice addiction treatment or therapy if you or someone you know is struggling with addiction please consult a licensed physician addiction specialist or mental health professional
Speaker 8you are no longer alone on any journey using uber it helps to know you're getting into the right car pin verification adds an extra step to make sure your ride is your ride before the trip begins your app gives you a unique pin just tell it to your driver and they'll enter it in their
Speaker 9app before the ride can start hey what's your pin two five three eight that way you know you're in
Speaker 8the right car taking the right trip and your driver knows you're the right passenger make sure your ride is your ride with pin verification from uber one more way uber is putting safety at every turn learn more on the uber app close your eyes exhale
Speaker 9your body relax and let go of whatever you're carrying today well i'm letting go of the worry that i wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class i got them delivered free from 1-800 contacts oh my gosh they're so fast and breathe oh sorry i almost couldn't breathe when i saw the discount they gave me on my first order oh sorry namaste visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order 1-800-contacts
PodcastTranscript AI