We take John Turturro to the Cheesecake Factory

From NPR, NWBZ, this is Weight, Weight, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Al Zoslade, one of the only men in America not named Dan Sullivan. And here's your host at the Studebricker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois. Gene Farsal! I'm so happy to be here filling in for Peter Segel. Peter needed the week off because he's finally fulfilling his dream of eating at every cheesecake factory in the Midwest. Later on, legendary actor John Terturo joins us to play our games, but first is your turn. The number is 1-888, that's 1-888-9248-924, now let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Weight, Weight, Don't Tell Me. Hi! Hi, this is Mark from Washington, D.C. Hi, Mark! Mark, what do you do for fun in D.C.? Well, actually, we're getting ready for Halloween, I have an 11-year-old daughter and my husband, we all do a theme every year. This year was Bob's Burgers, yep, I'm Bob. My husband is Teddy, and my daughter is, God, I can see you're a big fan of Bob's Burgers. Mark, you don't have to be nervous with us. Yeah, we're basically garbage people, so don't worry about it. Now, Mark, let me introduce you to our panel, first, a contributor to CBS Sunday Morning and co-host of the podcast, you could make this beautiful, it's Faith Saley, Mark. Next, a comedian performing at the Moth of the New York City Comedy Festival on November 14th at the Town Hall, it's Hari Khandabalu. Hello, Mark. Hi. And she'll be at the Birchmeer in Alexandria, Virginia on November 6th and 7th. Her podcast is, "Nobody listens to Paula Poundstone, it's Paula Poundstone." All right, well, welcome to the show, Mark, you're going to play, "Who's Alzo this time?" Alzo Slade is going to read you three quotes from this week's news. If you know two of them, you'll win our prize. Any voice from our show you choose on your voicemail. Are you ready? Sure. Okay. Your first quote is from former President Barack Obama. He wasn't mad about the Saddam Hussein comparison. Obama was talking about how "who" didn't seem to mind about being compared to Saddam Hussein. That'd be President Trump. That's right. In the final days before the midterm election, Obama went full, "Berock the insult comic president on Donald Trump," saying, quote, "He has the White House looking like Saddam Hussein opened a cheesecake factory." Now, the joke got a lot of air play, and the right-wing media reacted with the fury that could really do him Obama's election chances in 2028. The response to this has been, like, "tan suit level outrage." And like Obama said, it was the cheesecake factory part that everybody was talking about, which makes sense. Like, I don't know if the Saddam Hussein thing is going to bother Donald Trump, a man who's literally building himself a spider hole under his ballroom as we speak. I'm still thinking about Saddam opening up a cheesecake factory. I think you'd call it "she is cake factory." Dude, I would go to Saddam's cheesecake factory. She is cake factory. She is cake factory. Middle Eastern flavors, right? Like, a staff run with an iron fist as an Iranian, that sounds like home. Didn't it turn out that Trump also has investments in the cheesecake factory? Did anybody else—and by investments do you mean he likes eating their glam bird? Burgers and brownie crunch chocolate? No, I believe he has some sort of investment in the cheesecake factory. I read it online—well, then it must be true. Yeah, I think it was from ProPublica, but I don't see that well. You know what? I think that I'm right about that, but I can't swear to it. That's why I'm going to have my own news channel. I think that's right. But in terms of these midterms, Trump on the campaign trail just can't stop complimenting all the dudes running for office on how hot they look. He's basically like me in the bathroom at a bar if I've had two beers and I see any other woman. You know? I'm like, "Oh my God, you're so beautiful. You're hot." You're like obviously. It is kind of nice and a weird way that he's so comfortable with his masculinity that he'll comment on a man's butt. Over and over and over and over again. All right, Mark, your next quote is from The New York Times about a big expense many people are facing this weekend. No one wants to be the raisin house. That was one woman commenting on the rising price of what? Candy. That's right. Halloween candy. Nice. The price of Halloween candy has gone up 71% since 2021. Oh. And a lot of families say they're having to cut back on what they can offer trick or treat others this year, but there is some good news, razor blade prices. This is because for years we've been relying on the straight of horror moves for our twigs tickets. Right? It was a maritime chocolate choke point. You know there's an eye at toll over there being like a snapping off a piece of that kid ball. I knew it was bad when I had to go put my candy corn on their way. Oh, you're paying for it with clarinus? Exactly. My Christmas I'll get it back. I used to have my kids go out early enough that I could take their candy and give it out. It's so smart. Yeah. That's it. You might want to try that. One woman is addressing the issue by and this is true by handing out bowls of her husband's homemade beef and bean chili. Where did you hear that? Yeah. Literally. That's going to be a my news program. That's ridiculous. No, but it's true. And also like, am I right that there's nothing better that when your kids go to bed on Halloween and you get to eat all of their chili? All right, Mark. Here's your last quote. It's not natural. Men are not like that. That's a line from the big new movie Wickers, starring Alexander Skarsgard as a man who is made out of what? That I have no idea. Oh. Oh. Wicker? Yes! Yes, Mark. You know what the ladies want. Okay. Wicker, the number one Wicker-based sex movie in America right now, is about a fishmonger spinster who asks a basket weaver to make her a husband. To everyone who said Hollywood was out of ideas, this is your fault. Have you seen what Wicker-man looks like? He's so hot. He's so hot. I didn't. I mean, I would do that basket if you know what I mean. Yeah, you would. He's worth a few splinters and the you know. Hey. It's Wicker and he's think like we're tan. Are they this one and the same? They're in the wood furniture family. So, along with Cain and Bamboo, I believe. So there can be sequels? Yes. Yes, Mark. I mean, this whole movie makes me want to go to Etsy to look for my dream. Yeah. So the Wicker character does like chores and stuff? Yeah. You have to be asked or can he recognize it needs done himself. That's going that extra. That's what makes him so hot. Yeah. I don't know. When I get home, I'm having the Bamboo Shade taken off the window, just not comfortable with it staring at me. Yeah, not anymore. Not after this conversation. Not at all. All right, Al, so how did Mark do? Mark did great. Perfect score. Three out of three. There you go. Mark. Yeah. Well done, Mark. Thanks so much for playing our game. Oh, my pleasure. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Mark. this week's news. Paul, this week Airbnb made a major change to their rules worldwide. Hosts will no longer be able to make guests do what? Clean up after themselves. That's right! They can't make guests do chores! Good. According to the company's new global rules, Airbnb hosts can no longer make their guests do any chores involving, quote, "significant effort." And honestly, thank God, I'm not stripping some strangers bed when I only strip my own bed like once a year. Yeah, I always hated that just having to take the garbage out and. And fold the used towels. What's that about? Yeah, I'll put them into the bathtub, as opposed to just throwing them around willy-nilly. Like your own home. Yeah. Wait, these things are significant effort for you all? Yeah. When I hear significant effort, I'm thinking clean out their garage or re-roof their house or something. Wow, what Airbnb's are you staying at? I'm not. I've never stayed in an Airbnb. I've stayed in people's homes when they didn't want me. It's a very similar vibe. Yeah. And they paid you to leave. Yeah, exactly. If you do it right, it's profitable. Come it up. You've got a friend in our bluff, the listener game, called 188 Wayway to Play, will be back in a minute with more of Wayway. Don't tell me from NPR. From NPR and WBZ Chicago, this is Weight, Weight, Don't Tell Me. The NPR news quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Harry Condobolo, Paula Poundstone, and Faith Saley. And here again is your host at the Studebricker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Nagin, Far side. Thanks, Alzo. Right now, it's time for the Weight, Weight, Don't Tell Me, bluff the listener game, called 1-888 Wayway to Play Our Game on Air. Hi, this is LVTAC from Minneapolis, Minnesota. Fans of Minneapolis here. What are you doing, Minneapolis? I am a grad student at the University of Minnesota, and I'm also a bar trivia host. Wow. So what are you studying? Food science, food chemistry, specifically. Oh, have you chemistry something super weird with food? So I actually do the chemistry of coffee roasting. So I import beans that I tell like the chemical differences between beans that come from different country once you roast them. Oh wow. She said that a little snobby. Yeah. I'm passionate about my work. Well, it's so nice to have you with us, Ellie. In this game, our panelists will each share a story, but only one of them is true. You have to figure out which one. What's the topic, Alzo? Lonely no more. This week, we finally found a cure for loneliness. And no, I'm not just talking about whiskey. Our panelists are going to tell you stories about someone finding unlikely companionship. Pick the one who's telling the truth, and you'll win the weightweighter of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play? Yes, I am. All right. First up, it's Faith Saley. Recent college grads who can't find a job are heading back to school, online school. It's a live fish cam, and you get assigned one particular fish, and you name it, and can tune in any time to watch your fish living its most fantastic life. This app promises to build community among young adults stuck living with their parents in a sea of disillusionment, which is why it's called stop floundering. Folks essentially become their fish and give it thoughts like, "Ooh, I'm feeling brackish today." And have group chats with other fish schoolmates like, "Are you giving me side-eye?" Parents are supportive of the app as well, with one mom saying, "I guess it's better than video games." It's inspiring the grads for their future also, with many of them looking into working at pet co. All right, new graduates are going back to school, sort of, from Faith Saley. Your next story of all the lonely people comes from Hari Kandabalu. Are you single and lonely, allergic to dogs, want a baby, but not the responsibility and huge amounts of poop that come with it? Well, folks in China have come up with a solution. Bricks. People are raising bricks. How hard is it to raise a brick baby? Not at all, actually. Just spray your brick with water a few times a day in moss bores already present in the atmosphere, attach themselves to the brick and begin to grow. No hearing, "Dad, I want to grow a rose instead of moss." No, your brick with moss will not challenge you. It will not require you to pay for a liberal arts degree. And it will absolutely not waste all that money by becoming a stand-up comedian. If you forget to water them, the moss goes dormant. If you remember to water them again, the greenery returns. Psychologists call Bricks "zero energy emotional companionship." It fulfills your need for company without demanding any obligation to give love in return. If you can get past the fact that is one of the saddest things ever said in the history of the world, Bricks really do sound like the future. All right. Brick babies are all the rage in China from Hari Khandabalu. Your last solution to solitude comes from Paula Poundstone. When 82-year-old Susan Swamu of Hadley, Massachusetts, distributed flyers asking for help searching the wooded area behind her house for her 86-year-old husband, about 20 neighbors responded. There were no police involved and no one knew much about searching, so they talked and looked for clues of Susan's missing husband while they walked in a line shoulder to shoulder like they'd seen on law and order. At one point, a line dance broke out. It seemed unusual that Susan provided music, snacks, and punch said neighbor and searcher Bob Ross. She didn't seem to strut, said neighbor Gina Pillion. Just insistent that we try the devil to eggs. After about an hour, they realized no one had ever seen Susan with a husband. When they asked her about it, she said she sent out invitations to a block party two years ago and didn't get so much as one response. But this was lovely and she'd love for them to look for her husband again soon. He might be at the bowling alley. Okay, Ellie, you've got unemployed grads going to fish school from Faithsaylee, young people raising moss-covered brick babies from Harry Khandabalu, and a fake search and rescue set up to find friends from Paula Poundstone, which one is real? Alright, and to find out the correct answer, we spoke to an expert. Having two children of my own, a brick child would be much easier to manage it in parents. That was Ben Upen, an expert in bricks and moss at Christie Webber Landscape, talking about all the brick mommies out there. Ellie, you got it right. And you per-- You earned a point for Harry and you won our prize, the voice of your choice on your voicemail. Thank you so much for playing with us today. Thank you so much, guys. Bye-bye. And now the game where big names are asked to be experts on something they know nothing about. We'll chat with you first, but we will get to that. It's not my job. John Terturo is an Emmy award-winning actor you've seen in everything from Spike Lee movies to Cohen Brothers movies to TV shows, like The Night of and Severance. He's also the living embodiment of New York City, and he's particularly delightful in his new film, The Only Living Pickpocket in New York. John Terturo, welcome to, wait, wait, don't tell me. So, I want to talk to you about your new movie, but before we get to that, I have to start with Severance. It's one of those, like Mystery Box shows where people are just desperate to understand why this is all happening. Do people constantly ask you for spoilers? sometimes they do, sometimes but I think people like the mystery. I think they kind of, they want to know, but they like not knowing or trying to figure out what's happening. - Do you ever read scripts and be like, I still don't understand what's happening? - Oh, all the time, all the time. (laughing) But when I've worked with Christopher Walken on the show, sometimes he will say to me, like, I don't really understand. (laughing) What we're talking about here, you know, and I just tell him, listen, you're into me and I'm into you, just say the lines, and somehow they'll make sense. (laughing) - Because the criminal message going on between us and our bodies. - And then does he know you do a perfect impression of him? - Yeah, I understand. - What is, what is he said, what is he said? - No, I don't do that to Chris. No, we talk about food. (laughing) - My wife makes banana bread. You know, I always bring it in to have Chris taste it because he's quite a good cook. - And what does he say about the banana bread? - Oh, he likes it, yeah. - Like, and how does he say that? How does he express it? (laughing) - Chris is a very, he's a great storyteller because he's lived through, you know, all his whole life he's been in show business. He was a child actor. His kinescopes of him on television shows as a young little dancer. - Wow. - He was a dancer, he was a dancer. His, you know, Mimi Van Doren changed his name to Chris. His real name was Ronnie. But she said that he wasn't a Ronnie and that he should change his name to Chris. And Chris, it's told me, I don't really like that name, Chris. I should have been Nick. (laughing) - I told him, one of the movies I directed him that I could introduce him as Nick Wacken. - Did he, did you do it? - Well, I think it's still possible to do that. To do some Nick Wacken. - Yeah, like a latent life name change. I'm into it. So as a lifelong New Yorker, are there any like New York stereotypes that apply to you? - Stereotypes in New York? - Yeah. Well, you can tell that there are people at tourists because they just stop and they look up at the sky and they've got the flow of movement. (laughing) - Oh wow. - So being irritated at tourists is a stereotype that you embrace, okay? - So if, I say you got to move, you can't just stop. - So if people are walking in, they stop. New Yorkers don't like that? - Oh, how are you joking? - No, it's the worst. That's ridiculous. - You know, when you're trying to navigate a street, you just stand there and they're looking up and you're like-- - When you have eight million people who need to move and you stop in the middle of the street, that's a no-go. That's ridiculous, that's absurd. - That's ridiculous. (laughing) - And it's also good, it's very easy to pickpocket them too. I mean, studies will count. They're looking up their pockets are wide open, you can just go right in and-- - Well, this brings us right to the movie, the only living pickpocket in New York. I got to see this movie. It's so lovely, funny, and also stressful. You're so fantastic in it. Can you talk to me about how you prepared for the role of being a pickpocket? - Well, I mean, he wasn't only a pickpocket, he's a person who takes care of people too. But I read a lot of the books and I read a profile of Apollo Robbins in the New Yorker who was a magician pickpocket and he agreed to help me first on Zoom and then in person. And he comes from a family of thieves. (laughing) And he can, you know, he would take my watch off every time he met me. - Wow. - And hit me, and you know, with one hand, and I would never feel it. He gave me all these different exercises and he told me to practice and I did go on to subways. I didn't steal from people. (laughing) Put my hands in people's bags and-- - Okay, and you think people are asses for stopping? (laughing) - Yeah, they are. (laughing) - Look at that. - John, do you sing? - Oh, no, I'm not gonna say, what do you want me to say? - I want you to be Fagan in Oliver on Broadway. - Oh, I actually directed Fagan in a church production of my mom's church. (laughing) - Wait, when you were a famous movie star, you don't miss-- - No, not when I was in college. And I was like 21 years old. (laughing) It wasn't crazy. It was, you know, it was always people from like ages 90 to like five years old. (laughing) - I thought you were about to go up. (laughing) I got the grade, that's-- (laughing) I was supposed to go up, no, no, no, no. (laughing) - All right, John Tertura, we've asked you here to play a game we're calling. - Oh, okay. - Now I'm nervous. - Uh-oh. - The game is called Pick Pocket Meet Hot Pocket. (laughing) - Pick Pocket Meet Hot Pocket? - Yeah, so your new movie is the only living pick pocket in New York, so of course, we're gonna ask you about hot pockets. Get two out of three right and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners, Alza, who's John playing for. - Carol Conns of Castle Rock, Colorado. - All right, it's a lot of alliteration. (laughing) All right, here's your first question. Hot pockets is a beloved brand, but things could have gone differently if they'd gone with their original name. What was it, A, cold pockets? B, nuclear meaty cheese puffs. Or C, chunkstuffers. - Oh, excuse. - All right, you know what, I gotta go for C, I like chunkstuffers. (laughing) - Yes, and C is the right answer. - I got it, I got it, I got it. - I'm gonna put the name in them. (laughing) - Thankfully, the name was changed early on, so we never had to hear kids say, "Mom, can we have chunkstuffers for dinner tonight?" - I think that would be pretty good, chunkstuffers. (laughing) - All right, here's your next question. People will go to great lengths to make sure their hot pockets are properly cooked, like a man in San Diego, who did what? Was it A, got arrested for breaking into a bank to use their microwave to heat up his hot pocket? Was it B, convinced a Michelin chef to add them to his menu? Or was it C, accidentally burnt down a city block trying to cook his hot pocket over an open flame? (laughing) - I don't know, I'm kinda drawing to C because it's open, okay? - Then there's also A. (laughing) - There's an A, it's open, what was there again? - A was got arrested for breaking into a bank to use their microwave to heat up his hot pocket. (audience cheering) - Oh, yeah, is it A? - It's A. - It's A. (laughing) - And where are you down? (laughing) - Who are you gonna ask if eating a hot pocket was worth being arrested? The man said, and this is totally true. Hell yeah, was worth it. (laughing) - All right, here's your last question. Many hot pockets fans know the pain of biting into a too hot hot pocket. - Oh yeah. - But that's not the only danger. Which of these happened? Was it A, a 12 car pileup was caused when a driver dropped his hot pocket? (audience laughing) B, after a. (audience laughing) - Where did he drop it, that's what I wanted to say. (audience laughing) That's what I'm interested in. (audience laughing) - Was it B, after a Kentucky man ate his roommate's last hot pocket, the roommate shot him in the butt. (audience laughing) Or was it C, a manufacturing error caused a hot pocket to be full of peanut butter instead of pepperoni? (audience laughing) - I mean, B, I'm attracted to the mason song. (audience laughing) - You like it. - Shot him in the butt. - Oh, that's right, it is B. (audience laughing) - This is my game. (audience laughing) - Did I get like 10 out of 10 in this game? (audience laughing) - Oh, you're so good. Yeah, the guy, he shot his roommate in the butt. He's okay, by the way, the hot pocket made him invincible. (audience laughing) - And that's a pretty good story. (audience laughing) - Alzo, can we get the score? - Of course, he got three out of three perfect score. (audience cheering) - Yes, John Terturo. (audience cheering) Oh my God, thanks so much for joining us. John Terturo is an award-winning actor who can now be seen in the only living pick pocket in New York and theaters everywhere. John Terturo, thank you so much for joining us on. Wait, wait, John Terturo. - Thank you, thank you for having me. Thank you, I had a lot of fun, thank you. - Thank you so much. - Thank you so much, John Terturo. - Thank you. (upbeat music) - In just a minute, find out why they call them short stops and our listener, Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888. Wait, wait, to join us on air, we'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. The NPR news quiz. I'm Al Zoslade, we're playing this. week with Paula Poundstone, Faith Saley in Hari Kandabolu, and here again is your host at the Studebricket Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Nagine Farsai. In just a minute a game Peter Sago will certainly be playing along with at home this week it's the listener limbic challenge. If you'd like to play give us a call at 1-888-8, wait wait that's 1-888-924-8924, but right now panel some more questions for you from this week's news. Hari, the website real simple ran a useful how-to article for people who bought a dessert at the store but want to do what with it. Pretend they made it. Yes that's right. Pretend that they made it. Do you want to serve up some cupcakes from the Kroger's while getting credit for making them yourself? First of all why? But real simple has your back providing tricks like dusting store bought brownies with powdered sugar adding extra frosting to cookies or heating cinnamon rolls in the oven while yelling wow I used so many eggs while I artfully made these. You know what I would do? I'd just take one of my hairs and put it. Oh that's good Faith that's good. Are you taking a little egg shell? Yes, shove it in there. Yeah, yeah. That is disgusting. But it happens. Like here's actually the first tip that they have in their piece quote remove store bought treats from the packaging. Yeah. Hey guys like if you have to say that it's too late like you're a lost cause. All right Faith. Yes. A man went viral this week when he proposed to his girlfriend with a gold ring he got how? Huh. Did it involve a former marriage? No. Oh okay then this isn't that bad. May I please have a hint? He's actually like a full-time old-timey prospector. He found that he dug it up for gold? He found it? Yeah gold he'd pan for himself. Oh that's so 1880s yeah. A man spent months panning in multiple rivers in Colorado till he had enough gold to make his girlfriend an engagement ring. Oh that's sweet but he blew it if the proposal didn't start with will you make me the dad gone happiest man? What so he got the engagement ring? The gold to make the engagement. Yeah. What about the stone? Yeah is he going to go mining? Is he? Yeah. He set up his own child labor. Ever about to say. Yeah. Faith. An Alabama man is being celebrated for saving 14 people from a burning building and he only ended up at the scene of the fire. Why? Uh clearly by accident. Let me give you a hint. In 400 feet turn left at the building in golfed inflames. His, his Uber, his his his directions his map told him that's right is GPS to error took him there. Casey Sparks was driving his son back from a soft eternus. His last name sparks. So Casey Sparks was driving his son back from a softball tournament when GPS kept trying to lead him down an unusual route. When he followed it he discovered the burning house and ran inside to help rest you. No first he told his son Ash you wait here. Okay so Sparket Ash discovered the burning house and ran inside to help rest you 14 people. Meanwhile when Google Maps gives me a weird route I'm just like I'll switch to ways. Come and bless that man right? Like the really heroic thing is that he stopped even though the GPS showed him if he didn't rescue all those people he could save nine minutes on his he stopped and he ran in and he could still hear from the flames recalculating. Coming up it's lightning fill in the blank but first the only game show segment in America that relies on poetry it's the listener limbic challenge if you'd like to play on air call or leave a message at 1-888-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-9-9-2-4 you can see us most weeks here at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago and catches on the road will be a normal Illinois on November 12th and in Providence Road Island on December 10th for tickets and information to all of our live events go to nprpresents.org. Hi you're on wayway don't tell me. I'm a game this is Joanna from Boston. Hey Joanna what are you doing Boston. Hi I work for the largest workforce development agency in New England we help people get jobs and build their careers. Oh are there still jobs with you know there are there there's a couple out there we'll help you get one. Awesome well welcome to the show Joanna alzo slate is going to read you three news related limbics with the last word of phrase missing from each if you can fill in that last word of phrase on two limbrics you're a winner here's your first limbic as the brewers and rays play their sport a cliche the two rosters both thwart to win in the fall you don't need to be tall because all of the players are short that's right this this was a historic world series not only was it the most boring it was also played by the shortest teams in decades it's so impressive do you know how hard it is to hit a home run when you can't even see over the pitcher's mound and everyone loves how short the teams are with the brewers general manager saying and this is true quote it's the cutest world series of all time I mean I love these little shorties they are to quote Arthur Miller all my sons I didn't I didn't even know the world series was going on is it over yeah and the two days ago did it yeah all right Joanna here's your next limbic to the sneeze guard I stroll with a trade you all know I can pack it away all you can eat is a challenge I meet I'm a fan of the reborn oh gosh I think I might need a clue we like want to let's do it again yeah to the sneeze guard I stroll with a trade you all know I can pack it away all you can eat is a challenge I meet I'm a fan of the reborn buffet yeah there it is rising food prices and economic uncertainty have led to a big comeback for the all you can eat buffet the restaurant that some people see as a bargain and some see as a challenge yell purported a 252 percent increase in searches for all you can eat a buffet over the last year as folks look for places where they can maximize both value and the chance to eat food that someone else picked up changed their mind isn't isn't glutney one of the seven deadly seven deadly sins yeah I mean if it's a really good deal I'm just saying that all those people are going to hell that's all that's all I'm saying all right here's your last limbic as a topping for cracker or chip I chop cheese meat and olives then whip because guests stay too late picking bits of a plate I am making charcuterie dip yes that's right the latest thing in charcuterie is to take everything off the charcuterie board and blend it into a single dip which is great news for those of us too lazy to throw cheese salami and two figs on a piece of wood isn't that called pate well actually okay so here here's the deal like you can make it a couple of ways the most popular method is quote chopping the typical elements of a charcuterie board tossing them together in a light dressing then serving the dip with a vessel for scooping like it may not sound appetizing but think of it less of a dip and more like a slurry and and the and the next time I see a kid use a finger for something I'll just say oh that's a vessel for dipping yes that's right oh it's also what happens when you're in the hospital and you're like well I still be able to have charcuterie after the surgery alzo how did Joanna do Joanna killed it she got three out of three perfect four oh my gosh great job Joanna thank you - Thank you so much. - Thanks for calling in. - Thank you. (upbeat music) - Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Alzo, can you give us the scores? - Of course. Paula has two and Faith and Hari are tied up at three. - Okay. - Wait a minute. (laughing) - All right, Paula, you're in third place, so you're up first. (laughing) The club will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. After voting on Tuesday, neither Benjamin Netanyahu nor his opponent are expected to win an outright majority in blank. - Israel. - Right. This week, the governor of blank opened an investigation into Mary Peltola's Senate campaign. - Alaska. - Right. On Wednesday, the Vatican opened an exhibition of all the past blank mobiles. - Pope mobiles. - Right. In the 30 days since it was installed officials in Tacoma, Washington reported that their new traffic camera caught blank people speeding. - Zero. - 400,000. - Wow. (laughing) - In response to buyer complaints, Etsy said it would restrict blank generated content. - AI. - Right. This week, an Arizona man attacked his neighbors with pepper spray, saying it was offensive to his culture when his neighbors refused to blank. - To bow. - He said it was offensive to his culture that the neighbors refused to do cocaine with him. (laughing) - Oh yeah. - In addition to the pepper spray, the man also took his shirt off, brandished a hammer and fired off a gun. Which, from my experience, feels more like meth culture than cocaine culture. Also, my neighbors never offer me anything. (laughing) - Yeah, I'm lucky if I get a wave while I take the trash out. - Alzo, how did Paula do? - Paula got four right for eight more points, so little ten puts her in the lead for now. (laughing) - Okay. Okay, Hari, you're up next. Fill in the blank. After his defeat in the election in Brazil, Flavio Bolsonaro fled to blank. - Miami, US. - That's right. On Tuesday, software giant blank offered 60,000 employees voluntary buyouts. - Microsoft. - Right. This week, the Federal Reserve voted to hold blank rate steady. - Interest. - Right. This week, an army officer was suspended after he was caught leaving his post 64 separate times, so he could blank. - Has him share coup d'état? (laughing) - So he could feed his pet lizard. On Wednesday, it was reported that FIFA made over $15 billion from the 2026 blank. - World Cup. - Right. Best known for his roles in Star Trek and X-Men, actor blank passed away at the age of 86. - Patrick Stewart. - Right. This week, a woman in Florida went viral after she discovered a car crash and called the police while she was blank. - Sleeping. - While she was dressed in a banana costume. (laughing) As described in the article that uses so many puns, it makes you want to dox the author. A woman went viral when a video emerged of her calling the police next to a car accident, dressed in a full-body banana costume. Can you imagine being the driver, like you get in a crash and then see a banana calling the cops and you're like, "Boy, if I didn't think I was drunk driving before." (laughing) Alzo, how did Harry do? - He did all right. He got five right for 10 more points, total of 13, and the lead. - Oh boy. - Ooh, okay. And Alzo, how many does Faith need to win? - Five to tie six to win. - Okay, Faith, this is for the game. - Okay. - Fill in the blank. On Monday, AI company blank filed for what may be the biggest IPO in history. - Anthropic. - Right, for the third time, the Trump administration filed charges against former FBI director, Blank. - James Comey. - Right. This week, health officials in Africa warned that Blank could spread like COVID if it's not contained. - Debola. - Right. This week, the Transport Workers' Union local 100th retten to sue over New York's ban of Blank. - Rat Petty Caps. - Horstron Carriages. - On Tuesdays, astronomers said they'd discovered a new dwarf, Blank, beyond Pluto. - Planet. - That's right. On Thursday, Apple announced their first-ever Blank with a touch screen. - For a laptop? - Right. This week, a Spanish-speaking man arrested during his SWAT raid in Denver, suing after it was learned that commands the police gave him in Spanish, translated to Blank. - Don't speak English. - Quote. - Farf police. We have a police fart. (audience laughing) - According to court transcripts, while police were entering the place that the man was staying, they could be heard saying in broken Spanish quote, "Fart police. "Fart the woods. "We have a police fart." (audience laughing) - Ah yes, fart the police. My favorite NWA song. (audience laughing) Also, how did faith do? - Well, she got five right for 10 more points, total of 13, which means Paula loses. (audience laughing) - And Hari and Faith win. They tie for the win. - Oh my God, the best students in the class. (audience laughing) In just a minute, we'll ask our panelists to predict the next big romantic movie after Wicker. But first, let me tell you that. Wait, wait, don't tell me. It's a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with urgent haircut productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Gaudica writes, "Our Limericks, "our public address announcer is Paul Friedman, "our ops manager is Jisera Vardak. "Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theater. "BJ Leaderman composed our theme, "our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, "Miles Dornboss and Lilian King. "Special thanks to Blithe Roberson, "Janey Hoffman and Dom Banias. "Peter Gwynn is our chunk stuffer. "Emma Choi is our vibe curator. "Technical direction, Lorna White. "Our CFO is Colin Miller. "Our production manager is Robert Newhouse, "our senior producers Ian Chilagg, "the executive producer of Wayway, "don't tell me, is Mike Danforth. "Now panel, what'll be the next big romantic movie? "Faith Saley? "Q Grant Starsin? "Bamboo, actually. (audience laughs) "All right, Kahn the Balloon." - Swiffer, a man has a torrid affair with his swiffer. The big question, will the mob find out? (audience laughs) - And Paula Poundstone. The sequel to the Elon Musk movie. (audience laughs) - And if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. - Thank you, Elsa Saley. (audience applauds) Thanks also to Faith Saley, Howard Kahn the Balloon, and Paula Poundstone. And thanks to all of you for listening. I'm McGoon Farsade, filling in for Peter Sangle, and we'll see you next week. (audience applauds) (upbeat music) - This is NPR.