We skip the salad bar and have a banana instead

[MUSIC] >> From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is, wait, wait, don't tell me, the NPR news quiz. I'm Alzo Slade, and I'll be making this place a judgment full zone. Here's your host at the Suda Baker Theatre at the Fine Arts Building of Chicago, Illinois. Tom Papa. [APPLAUSE] >> Thanks, Alzo. >> Thanks, everybody. I'm Tom Papa and for Peter Segal, who took the week off to fulfill one of his lifelong dreams. Smoking cigarettes in the woods in Canada. [LAUGH] Later on, we'll be joined by Vicki Peterson, legendary rock guitarist from the bangles. But first, did your turn to call in and play our games? The number is 1-888, wait, wait, that's 1-888-924-8924. Now let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on, wait, wait, don't tell me. >> Hi, Tom, this is Luke from Memphis, Tennessee. >> Hi, Luke, what do you do down there? >> Well, I guess my official title is principal of digital communication and experience solutions for a major suite since next company. >> Well, that's a very long title. [LAUGH] >> Yes, okay, now Luke, let's introduce you to our panel. First up, a comedian you can see on Saturday, July 18th at Zainey's in Chicago, and July 23rd through the 25th in Houston, Texas, it's Dulce Sloan. [APPLAUSE] >> Hello, next, you can see him at the punch line in Irving, Texas, July 30th through August 1st. And flappers comedy club in Burbank, August 6th, it's Alonzo Bowden. >> Hello, Luke. [APPLAUSE] >> And a comedian who hosts the public radio trivia game show, Go Fact Yourself, and the Animal Mythology podcast, Framed by Fables, it's Helen Hong. >> Hey, hello. [APPLAUSE] >> So welcome to the show, Luke. You're going to play Who's Alzo This Time? Alzo Slade is going to read you three quotes from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain two of them, you'll win our prize. Any voice from our show you choose on your voicemail. Are you ready? >> Absolutely. >> All right, good luck. Your first quote is an expert on the today show describing Cyclospora, an illness spreading around the US this week. >> The main symptom rhymes with diamond marilla. [LAUGHTER] >> The current outbreak of cyclospora is caused by eating what? >> What is? >> Yes, bag, salad, and produce. [APPLAUSE] Yes, there's an explosive diarrhea outbreak. And heads up, this is one explosion. You do not look cool walking away from in slow mo. [LAUGHTER] >> Epidemiologists warn that the microbes spreads through raw lettuce and berries. One victim blamed the salad he had four days earlier. If you can remember a salad you had four days ago. You are already a mess. [LAUGHTER] >> All I gotta say is the last big outbreak was COVID. And if you think you didn't want someone but COVID over your house. [LAUGHTER] >> Oh, what's the problem with it? >> I mean, we don't want to do it. There'll be no visitors now, you can't. And the thing is, the guy whose job it was to keep an eye on this, he was fired as part of the doge thing. He's the only guy sitting at home just laughing like, yeah, I wasn't necessary, they didn't need me. Yeah, okay. >> This outbreak has really given me an appreciation for the word explosive. It's just so evocative, isn't it? It really? >> It kind of makes you want to get it. [LAUGHTER] And just so you know, the explosions start seven days after you eat the produce, so yes, America, you already have it. [LAUGHTER] >> But if it's seven days after how you know it was that salad. >> Well, you don't. Welcome to it. [LAUGHTER] >> Enjoy your time at the pool. >> Once you reach the level of explosive, I don't think where it came from is your big concern. [LAUGHTER] >> All right, Luke, your next quote about a very prominent couple sleeping in separate bedrooms. >> He's determined to have the better bedroom. >> That's from the new book Regime Change, about what couple fighting over who has the better room? >> Can I have a hint? >> Yes, you can. The bedrooms are in the White House. [LAUGHTER] >> That is a great hint. >> Hold on, let's see if he gets it. >> Yes, Trump and Melania. The president and Melania have separate bedrooms. We all figured this. The only surprising fact is that they're in the same building. [LAUGHTER] Which bedrooms are they, like, it's, what's the competition? Because wouldn't he be in the presidential suite, he's the president, right? >> Yeah, but there's someone more powerful. Melania got the bigger, fancier presidential bedroom with all the nice furniture. Well, Trump sleeps in what is basically the living room next door. Imagine having the sleep in separate rooms because you're so in love, it distracts you from running the country. [LAUGHTER] Trump has reportedly obsessed with trying to make his bedroom better than Melania's. So much so that he has started stealing stuff from other parts of the White House to make his bedroom fancier. This is true. He's taking furniture, lamps, artwork, and carrying it into the room himself. [LAUGHTER] Imagine being a White House staffer working an all-nighter, and you see Trump and his pajamas sneaking by holding a bust of FDR. [LAUGHTER] I don't think anyone knew she slept at the White House, didn't you? >> Yeah, I was surprised she's there. The first term she lived in New York, right? >> Yeah, that's right. >> That's right. >> Why is she even in there? Maybe it's just a pissing off. [LAUGHTER] >> My wife and I started sleeping in separate bedrooms. Well, he don't start off that way. Like, she snores a lot. >> Mm. >> So I don't believe in her. >> Right. >> Yeah, yeah. >> I'm like a little puppy, just to leave it. >> Are your separate beds in the same room, like leave it to beaver? >> No, and we start off in the same bed, like there's going to be no problem, and that around three o'clock in the morning, one of us kicks the other one in the shins and leaves in a rage. [LAUGHTER] >> Tom, what I love is after this show airs, and you're sleeping out back with the dog thinking, "You know, I thought the snoring bit was funny." [LAUGHTER] >> And I'm sneaking into the hallways stealing stuff from my new room. >> All right, Luke, here's your last quote. Is this the next pumpkin spice? That's the New York Times reporting that what is the next it flavor? >> I'm going to have to ask for another hint. >> Well, I'll give it to you gladly. Just pick up the peel so you don't slip. >> Banana? >> Yes. Banana. Look around. Banana flavor is in everything right now. The trend is red hot, while also turning brown. [LAUGHTER] >> I think you got dulce with that one. >> There are banana M&M, Starbucks, Banana Cold Foam, Duncan, Banana Latte, plus there's fancy banana protein puddings that have all the coolest people asking, "Wait, am I just eating baby food?" [LAUGHTER] >> Can I say on behalf of everybody, girl, ooh, because here's the thing, banana is like great, right? >> Uh-huh. >> So like, great flavor don't taste like great, great taste like purple. [LAUGHTER] >> Go on. >> Banana flavor don't taste like the actual fruit, banana taste like yellow. [LAUGHTER] >> Yeah. >> So we're not dealing with real fruit situations right here, this is a blue raspberry campaign. >> You think pumpkin spice was real? >> Hey, hey, hey, I'm black, I don't know, not about no pumpkin. >> I will say, I feel like it's audacious of banana to not even need spice. >> Ooh. >> Right? Like banana was like, you know what, I can handle this solo. >> But banana has been around, banana's been around so much longer than pumpkin, I mean banana's like, I got this, so yeah, I'm back. >> Just so y'all know Alonso is sponsored by Chiquita? [LAUGHTER] >> That's right baby, I'm getting that big banana money. >> Alzo, how did Luke do? >> Luke did great, three out of three, congratulations. >> Nice job Luke. >> Thanks Tom, I'll find out what's my new days, right? >> Thanks buddy. or some questions about this week's news? - Oh, no. - Alonzo. Yes, it's pretty hot this summer, but there's a big trend of people saying, now is the time to stop doing what? - Air conditioning? - No. - Do you like a hint? - Yeah, I think so. - My secret is I'm sure this is happening to a large degree. - Yeah. - Also old bikes. (audience laughing) - The people who want privacy when using their phones in public have given up deodorant. - That's right, wearing deodorant. - What better way to be alone on a phone call? (audience laughing) - Americans are giving up deodorant and probably the worst week of the year to do that. (audience laughing) Most deodorant skippers say they don't need it because they shower a lot, which is true. As long as that means you shower every 15 minutes. (audience laughing) There have been days where I've forgotten deodorant, not on purpose. And I'm just like, my high fives are real low. (audience laughing) Like down to the waist, you know what I'm saying? - Is there a difference between not going with deodorant and going with deodorant that is just made natural? - Yeah, aren't there crystal rocks? - Yeah. - You're supposed to rub in your pits. - Right, and it doesn't have aluminum in it. And they're just-- - Yeah. There are some people who don't need the aluminum, and there are some people who should be wrapped in rentals, right? (audience laughing) ♪ I'm gonna wash away all of my sins ♪ ♪ Start all over a girl ♪ ♪ Take me to the river ♪ ♪ Take me down ♪ ♪ Take me down to the shore ♪ Coming up, how to live enough that funeral in our bluffful listener game. Call 1-888, wait, wait, to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of "Wait, wait, don't tell me" from NPR. - Hey folks, it's Alzo Slade, a quick message before we get back to the show. This weekend marks one year since Congress voted to eliminate federal funding for public media. Their funding, more than a billion dollars, is gone. But "Wait, wait" is still here. Poking fun at the news and ourselves and bringing some levity to your week. Financial support from you, the public, makes our work and the work of the NPR Network possible. If you're already a NPR plus supporter, thank you. If not, you can join the community of people who power public media at plus.npr.org. (upbeat music) - From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is "Wait, wait, don't tell me" the NPR news quiz. I'm Alzo Slade, we're playing this week with Alonzo Bowden, Helen Hong and Dosey Sloan. And here again is your host at the Studio Baker Theater in Chicago, Illinois. Tom Papa. (audience cheering) - Thanks Alzo. (audience cheering) - Bow, bow, bow, bow, bow. - Thanks Alzo. Right now, it's time for the "Wait, wait, don't tell me" bluff the listener game. Call 1-888, "Wait, wait, to play our game on air." Hi, you're on "Wait, wait, don't tell me." - Please, this is Brendan calling from Exeter to Hampshire. - Oh, nice to meet you, Brendan. What do you do there in New Hampshire? - I run a hardwareing craft store and in my free time, I fly drones and take care of my three cats. - Oh, where do you fly your drones? - Up the river. - What? - I love how we still have my own technology, but it still sounds very New Hampshire. It's like I've got a high-tech drone going up the river. (audience laughing) Well, it's nice to have you with us, Brendan. You're going to play our game in which you must try and tell truth from fiction. What's the topic, Alzo? - Let's put the fun in funeral. (audience laughing) - Something should never change about funerals. Nobody wants to go to open casket where they're like, "We thought we just show you the legs this time." (laughing) But sometimes change is good. And this week we heard about something new in the funeral biz. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth and you'll win the wait-waiter of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play? - I'm ready to play. - All right, first up, it's Alonzo Bowden. - Remember when Uncle Frank was wrong? Nope, because he had clean memories. When life ends, clean memory service removes all bad decisions from the internet. (audience laughing) Compromising club pictures, browser history, that only fans account that you use just that one time, it all goes when you go. Lexi Gardell, who works for clean memories, explains, even people who are pretty normal in real life have some pretty crazy internet presences. You think grandma didn't get freaky in her DMs? (audience laughing) With clean memories, you'll keep thinking that. There are different packages starting with good guy, which cleans browser history of adult and gambling websites. Next is, that's not me, which removes any compromising pictures from social media dating sites in the cloud. There's, I didn't say that, which cleans up post made. Did you really think those unhinged opinions on who played Disney princesses out there? Not anymore. Top of the line is the angel package, which is a CIA-level cleansing of your digital past. You'll be harder to find than Jason Bourne. (audience laughing) That's a new service called Clean Memories that cleans up your internet presence after you died from Alonzo Bowden. Your next story of a celebration of life comes from Helen Hobb. - Have you ever wanted to meet someone just like you, even after you're dead? A new service is offering to pair up two recently deceased strangers with similar interests for buy one, get one free, funeral services. (audience laughing) If you think Uncle Jim is the only one who loved his kids and his bowling league, think again. Bogo forever LLC will search for another recently deceased person who also love their kids and their bowling league. (audience laughing) Bogo forever LLC tries especially hard to pair people with the same first names as well as interests. According to one employee, you wouldn't believe how many women named Ruth love to knit. (audience laughing) The services are a big hit with families. According to one recent client, we had twice the amount of food at the wake and now grandma can be buried next to someone who also loved WWE. (audience laughing) (audience applauding) - That was Bogo forever, a service that pairs your loved one with a similar loved one for a combo funeral from Helen Hobb. And your last story of an innovation in internment comes from Dulce Sloan. - Are you known as the drama queen of your family who wants to have one last hurrah after you've passed? Or are you the peacekeeper who wants to stir up some trouble but doesn't want to face the consequences? Then dark secret is the service for you. For just $500, they'll send them a serious weeping woman to your funeral and hopes of creating a level of high drama and curiosity that is only seen in the Agatha Christie novel. Heck your praro himself couldn't solve this mystery. A black car would drop off your tragic figure draped in professional morning clothes and only sharing a heartbroken smile. She answers no questions, offers no explanation and leaves discreetly in that same black car. But a nosy aunt or a greedy child is always the issue at a funeral. While dark secrets provides a weeping woman and performing the highest theatrical display of morning, your family could still be acting like a Tyler Perry movie. (audience applauding) - Okay, Brendan, so you've got clean memories, a service that cleans up your freaky internet stuff after you died from Alonzo Bowden. From Helen Hong, we have Bogo forever, a buy one get one free funeral service for like-minded dead people. And from Dulce Sloan, dark secrets, a company that will send a mysterious woman to your funeral. Which one is real? - I'm gonna have to go with Dulce and the mysterious woman, that sounds like something that I've heard of before. (audience applauding) - All right, and to find out the correct answer, let's hear from someone who likes the idea of the real story. - To get paid to show up and say nothing is probably the best job an actor could get. (audience applauding) - This is Kaelin Carter, an actor in Chicago, talking about the mysterious funeral lady service. Congratulations, Brendan, you got it right. (audience applauding) - Awesome, thank you very much. - And you earned a point for Dulce and you won our prize, the voice of your choice on your voicemail. - Thank you, thank you for having me. - All right, thank you for playing with us today. Say goodbye, everybody. Goodbye, everybody. (audience applauding) (upbeat music) - And now the game we call Not My Job. Our guest, Vicki Peterson, is one of the greatest rock guitarists of all time and one of the founding members of the bangles. Their song Walk Like An Egyptian was both a number one hit and the only song I can actually do the dance to. (laughing) You can see her this summer on tour with her husband, John Cowsell, Vicki Peterson. Thank you so much for joining us on "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell." (audience cheering) - Thank you so much for having me. (audience applauding) This is very exciting. Thank you so much for being here. - It was very exciting, you didn't know I did. - You look very cool. You've got cool guitars up on the walls. Does there have to be a guitar behind you everywhere you go? - Of course, yes. You know it's like the folks that have the bookshelf behind them on their Zoom calls and show how intelligent they are. (laughing) This is the musician equivalent of that. (laughing) - Absolutely. - So Vicki, you've played with two of the most iconic all female bands, the bangles, of course, and the gogos. The bangles originally had a different band name. - We had several. We started off in L.A. as the bangs. We were the colors, the supersonic bangs, and then we just shortened it, we added bangles, yeah. - Where were some of the dumb things that people would say about an all female rock band that was kicking ass? - Oh, please. Yeah, what's it like being in an all girl band? What's it like being an all girl? - All girl. (laughing) - How about that much experience with the others? So, yeah, this stuff. Yeah, it was, you know, is it hard? You know, like everything's hard. (laughing) - And what was the, so you did the bangles, but then you also were in the gogos for a short time? - Well, yeah, I mean, we were friends with the gogos, and I think Charlotte Kathy was pregnant with my ex-boyfriends' baby. I like to put it on. - What? Yeah! - That's all the talk about that. - Oh, right, that, do you, I know you wrote that song? Was it, was it, was it? - I mean, they were married. It's legit. They were married at the time. - Oh, okay. - Was this when the band was called the bangs? (laughing) - No, but so Charlotte couldn't tour that tour, and she called me up and asked me if I would step in for her, which was just a blast. I had so much fun. It was great to be a side chick, as Jane Weedlin called me, a big, big side chick. They were really fun. It was a great experience. - I have a question. I just recently watched the walk like an Egyptian video. How did you all get that many New Yorkers to walk in the middle of the street doing that dance? (laughing) - New Yorkers do walk in the middle of the street. I don't know if you know that. (laughing) - Do you get any Egyptians that come up to you and be like, "Really?" (laughing) - Your other great song, "Manic Monday," was written by Prince. Did you interact with Prince a lot? - Oh, yeah, I mean, as much as one can. (laughing) - What was that like? Did he approach you? - He did, it was sort of, he is very enigmatic as you know, I'm sure. - Yeah. - He did, he saw our video for "Here It Takes a Fall," which was off of our first album, and he approached us with a cassette tape that had two songs on it, one of which was "Manic Monday." - Wow. - And he just show up at shows sometimes. He would, I would just look over in the wings and you know, in our road manager, we're going, "Princess Mary, what to play?" - Like a cheese. - What? - Cheese. - He would crash your shows? - Yeah, that had to be amazing. So you got to play alongside Prince live. - Yes. - What was that? - What was that like? - Otherworldly, you know, and especially the first time he just came out and then we were playing, he just wanted to sing on "Manic Monday" with us, he grabbed a tambourine and sang and I think we did a couple of old rock and billy songs or something with everything in it. I was just literally, "Here's, here is my Les Paul, please." (laughing) - That's amazing. - So you played in the band with your sister and your husband comes from a family band, as well, all the cow sills. Who's family fought more? - Oh, definitely the cow sills. (laughing) - Now, the cow sills were people that don't know, was the band that inspired the partridge family. - There's more of them. That is very true. - Yeah. - Very true. - And yeah, and I was a huge cow sills fan when I was a kid. So this is like one of those beautiful stories 'cause when I was nine and got that first electric guitar, I knew that I was gonna marry John Calcill. - Really. (laughing) - And how did you let him know that? (laughing) - I kept it a secret for a very long time. (laughing) - When you're touring with your husband and someone screws up on stage in the middle of a concert, what happens? Are you kind to each other or can you let each other have it? - Oh, I have a look. (laughing) - Apparently, oh. - Yeah. - Apparently, I have a look. But it's usually laughter. It's usually just dissolve into laughter. - Do you ever say something when you hear your song played out in the wild? - Oh, one of the first times we had just done a podcast. We got back in the car and I turned on the radio and they were playing one of our songs. They were playing a thousand times. And of course, I thought it was my phone. And I was like, "Oh, I didn't realize I had a plane." And I said, "No, it's the radio." And I'm telling you, it was as exciting as the first time I heard a magnetic Monday coming from somebody's car. We were like teenagers, we lost it, both of us. (laughing) - That's so exciting. Well, this is so special for us. - Thank you, Tom. (audience cheering) - All right, Vicki, we've asked you here to play a game we're calling. - Lie down like an Egyptian. (laughing) - The bangles had a big hit with walk like an Egyptian. So we thought we'd ask you about Egyptians that lie down. (laughing) Mommies. (laughing) - Get two out of three questions about Mommie's right and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners. The voice of their choice of their voicemail. - Alzo, who is Vicki Peterson playing for? - Ali Freeman of Richmond, Virginia. - Okay, Ali. (cheering) - Hey, can I call him my best friend? She's an historian. (laughing) - Nope, it's Tully. All right, Vicki, here's your first question. The mummification process was quite complex and involved the technology we still use today. What is it? A, the spin dryer. (laughing) B, though silica packets inside food or medicine container. (laughing) That say, do not eat or see the tape dispenser. - I'm gonna guess if there was a substance like silica in Egypt. - You're right, B. (bell dings) Nice job. (clapping) Mummifiers put little packets filled with a mineral inside the body to absorb moisture. So mummies are in a way, the original beef jerky. (laughing) Here's your next question. - Why they grow? - The most famous mummy of all is probably King Tutankham. But he wasn't a perfect specimen. Why? A, shortly after he was discovered, his penis broke off and someone stole it. (laughing) B, his right foot wasn't mummified and actually was in pretty good shape. Where C, though the markings in the tomb describe the solid gold cat statue buried with him, turns out it was only gold plated. (laughing) - Come on, it's gotta be the penis one. (laughing) - Alright, let's say A. - You're right, A. (bell dings) (clapping) If there is a curse of the pharaohs, stealing a mummy's penis is how you get it. (laughing) Alright, here's your last question. A study published in 2025 found a surprising thing about unearthed mummies. What? A, if you soak them in warm water, they turn back into people. (laughing) B, they are magnetic, like a refrigerator door. Or C, they smell fantastic. (laughing) - To find fantastic. (laughing) - Really good. - Ooh, gosh. - Crowd's chiming in for C. - Smelling fantastic. Okay, I'll go with that. I could say that there be herbs and things that were buried along with maybe. - Right, right, right. Well, you are. - No, it's not, it's not C. - You're right, you're right, it's C. (bell dings) (bell dings) - Come, you had to save her from herself. (laughing) - Thank you for myself. - Woody, spicy, and sweet. We're the leading descriptions from what sounded more like a wine tasting than a mummy sniffing exercise. Alzo, how did Vicki do on our quiz? - She did great. Three out of three, congratulations, Vicki. (audience cheering) - Nice. Vicki Peterson is on tour with her husband, John Cowell. Their album is long after the fire. Vicki Peterson, thank you so much for joining us on "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me." - Thank you very much, thank you so much. (audience cheering) (upbeat music) - In just a minute, your workout just got a lot more delicious in our listener, Glimmeric Challenge game. Call 1-8-8, "Wait, Wait," to join us on air. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Weight Weight Don't Tell Me, the NPR news quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Helen Home, Alonzo Bowden, and Dolce Sloan. And here again is your host at the Studebricker Theatre in Chicago, Illinois. Tom Papa. Thanks, Alzo. In just a minute, even we here at Weight Weight are not safe from the global Limericks pandemic. If you'd like to play our listener Limerick Challenge, give us a call at 1-8-8, Weight Weight. That's 1-8-8-8-924, 8-9-24. But right now, panel, some more questions for you from this week's news. Helen, a new study looking at orangutangs had discovered that the mothers of some animals arrange what for their children? orangutang mothers arrange the bananas. No. I need a hint. OK. Here's a hint. The moms, presumably, negotiate whose nest, whose providing snacks, who has allergies to what bugs. You would do this with your nephew. You and your sister with your nephew, right? You would talk to the other mom. Right. Ornate play dates? Yes. Play dates. We did it! And you'll still get a point for that. That was rough. Play dates? The researchers discovered that orangutang moms organize play dates with other moms to build social skills in their children. It's a little different from how we do it. At a bad human play date, someone won't share a toy with orangutangs. Someone's face gets ripped off. Who's the Karen-type mom in the orangutan society that's looking at the other ones saying it? Your kid did this and your kid did that. If your son throws grubs at my son, why don't you try? I would throw him out this jungle. It's significant that the mothers actually arrange these play dates. I mean, you don't often see that, but it's awkward when the zebra kids are over at the lions and they're like, "So what do you guys like to eat for a snack?" Alonzo, this week we learned about the trendy dish that rich people in the Hamptons can't get enough of. What? Poor people. They're delicious! Finally, reach the point they're just eating them. They just don't care. What might it be? I haven't been invited to the Hamptons lately. You can also get them with a side of fries on every kid's menu. Chicken fingers. That's right. Chicken nuggets. Chicken nuggets. Or is the elite called them "chicken nougat"? According to The New York Times, all the fancy rich people in the Hamptons are, quote, "elevating the experience of chicken nuggets by serving the parties with caviar and micro-radish greens." Said one woman, quote, "It's literally like eating at McDonald's." I love when these rich high-end chefs come up with scams like this. Right? It's like, "Hey, man, you know how much money we can make on chicken nuggets if we just call them something else and then just charge ten times as much as this is genius?" I wouldn't mind. I wouldn't mind press if it was dino nuggets or the star-shaped ones that they have across New York. Oh, wait a minute. Come across cocktail weenies next summer is going to be a fortune. Style experts are chalking the trend up to nostalgia. You know, the simplicity of those days before you married into money. Coming up, it's lightning-fill in the blank, but first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-9-2-4. We're right here most weeks at the Studebaker Theatre in downtown Chicago and come see us on the road. We'll be in Sonoma County, California on July 30th and in Huber Heights, Ohio, just outside of Dayton on September 3rd. For tickets and information to all our live events, go to nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on weight, weight, don't tell me. Hi, this is Katie, calling from Dallas, Texas. Oh, nice to meet you, Katie. Can you tell me what you do for fun? Yes, I am a big crossword puzzle and jigsaw puzzle fan. I am hoping to compete in the jigsaw puzzle championships one day. Oh, what is it? In those championships, how many pieces do they, is the average? It depends on what tier you're in, but between, I think, 500 and a thousand. Wow, you sound like an impi-r. That's why we love you. Well, it's nice to have you with us, Katie. Welcome to the show. Alzo Slade is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two limericks, you are a winner. Here's your first limerick. This toy is not just for kids, the ad sasso, and the putty smell does really slay, bro. Plus the sensory squish is my fidgety wish, so I've bought an adult can of. Slado? That's right, Plato. We now have adult Plato, no usicos, not that kind of adult. The "I'm whimsical" kind of adult, which, to be fair, is even worse than the perverts. The kids allow you to create realistic-looking, intricate floral arrangements. Can you imagine being the parent of a five-year-old and being like, "No, no, no. This is Daddy's Plato." It is kind of dangerous when you put the word "adult" in front of anything. Yeah, right? Right? "Adult education." Like, as soon as. (Laughter) All right, here's your next limerick. With some cocoa beans taped to my locket, my workouts take off like a rocket. A dark, Hershey's smell works like Pablo's bright bill. I get amped when I'm sniffing some. Chocolate? That's right. Chocolate. (Applause) According to Forbes, dark chocolate before a workout could add 18 extra reps. Finally, combining my two interests, pumping iron for massive gains and having a little treat. (Laughter) It turns out you don't even have to eat the chocolate for the benefits. Sniffing it also works great. Finally, time to rip poppers at the gym with my boys. (Laughter) You think it's like a carrot in front of a horse situation? Where are you just running, trying to get the chocolate? (Laughter) All right, here's your last limerick. With inflation, high fashion can't pay. So we're putting found scraps on display. We use little pig's tricks, skipping past bricks and sticks. We're making our clothes out of. Hey. Yes. There you go. Hey. Chanel's latest runway collection featured a hat and jacket covered in loose strands of "Hey." For that, please give me a brain, Mr. Wizardland. (Laughter) I just have to ask your father, you have daughters. Yes, sir. Your daughter says, "Dad, for my birthday this year, I want the Chanel hay jacket." Right. Do you question that or you just go buy it? I say, that's ridiculous, that it's so opulent and disgusting, and then I would go get it. (Laughter) Because I can't say no, they're my daughters. We just tell like, "We have hay at home." (Laughter) But it's. She does have a pet rabbit, and we do have a ton of hay. (Laughter) I'll just rub peanut butter on her shoulders and say, "Roll around with your rabbit for a while." (Laughter) Alzo, how did Katie do? She's a weight-weight, limerick champion, three out of three. Yeah, yeah. Congratulations. And thank you for playing, Katie. Thank you so much. All right. Good luck with your puzzles. We can't wait to see you on ESPN. Thank you. (Laughter) Thank you. (Music) Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill in the blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Alzo, can you give us the scores? Absolutely. Alonzo and Dolce are tied up at three with Helen two points. Ah, what? (Laughter) No, you got it. You got it. All right, Helen. You're in third place, so you're up first. The clock will start when I begin. your first question. Fill in the blank. The US and Iran continued to exchange fire over control of the blank. Straight of hormones. Air quality across the Northeast was at dangerous levels this week due to blanks in Canada. Wildfires. Right. Sam Neal, best known for his role of Dr. Alan Grant in the blank movies, passed away at the age of 71. Jurassic Park. Right. The American League shut out the National League for to nothing in baseball's blank game. The Super Bowl. The All Star game. Christopher Nolan's new film adaptation of the blank open to glowing reviews. The Odyssey. Right. The fossil of a blank named Gus sold for a record 50 million dollars. A T-Rex. Right. In Maryland, a man was arrested after attempting to rob a bank with a stolen blank. Pup let us. Rob the bank with a kitten. What? Yes. The man stole a kitten from a pet store. Then ran into the bank across the street. Ask the bank teller, can you hold this? Give them the kitten while he wrote a note demanding money. The cat is now available for adoption and the description on the website says she is always ready for the next adventure. Alzo, how many points for Helen? She's all right. She got five right for 10 more points. Total of 12. She's in the lead now. Okay, don't say you're up. Thank you. You're up next. Fill in the blank. The governor of South Carolina appointed the sister of the late senator blank to serve the remainder of his term. Lindy Graham. Right. Complete this New York post headline. Chuck Schumer appears to blank on Senate floor. Sleep? Chuck Schumer appears to let loose huge fart on Senate floor. Well states and the writer's guild of America sued to block the proposed merger of Warner Brothers and Blank. Paramount? Right. A Los Angeles TV reporter was praised for continuing her live report even after Blank. Let's see, something had to happen. Car accident, a chase, a fire. Even after a flying cockroach climbed up her neck. KTLA's Rachel Menitoff was reporting on the California heat wave when a flying cockroach at least two inches long landed on her shirt, climbed all the way up her neck before jumping onto her microphone and flying away. She kept her composer through back to the studio and then started shaking out her clothes like crazy. We assume for the rest of the week. Alzo, how did Dulce do? Yeah. She got three right for six more points. Total of nine. Helen Hong is still in the lead. All right. So Alzo, how many does Alonzo need to win? Five to win. Oh. Pressure is on. All right. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. E. Jean Carroll finally received the $5 million she was owed after winning a civil lawsuit against Blank. Trump. Right. Analysis concluded that damage to the lining of Blank was likely due to errors during the installation process. The Reflecting Pool. Right. The Washington Post Fact Checking Department concluded the hospital photo of Blank holding that day's newspaper was genuine. Mitch McConnell. Right. May I add, yeah, right. The FDA approved a new pill that significantly lowers Blank levels. cholesterol. Right. A school born Florida announced it would be instituting a new policy on grade inflation after a student graduated with a GPA of Blank. Five. He had an 11.99 GPA. Actor How Williams, known for his roles in 227 and Sanford in Blank died at age 91. Son? Right. What? That was a tough one. This Sunday's World Cup Final marks the first in history in which one team star once gave a blank to the other team star. Wow. A goal? Bath. When Spain's Lamine Yamal was a baby, his family won a raffle for a photo shoot with then new star Lionel Messi. And this adorable photo shoot involved Messi giving Yamal a bath. Now he's all grown up and playing Messi in the final. Which goes to show you anything can happen when you let a random professional soccer player wash your baby. Alzo. Did Alonzo do well enough to win? Yes, he did. He got five right for two more points. Total of 13. Nice job. In just a minute, we'll ask our panelists to predict what'll be the big surprise at this week's World Cup Final. But first, let me tell you that. Wait, wait, don't tell me as a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with urgent haircut productions, Doug Burman, benevolent overlord. Philip Godakee writes our Limericks, our public address and answer is Paul Friedman, our ops manager is Jisira Vardak, thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre. BJ Letterman composed our theme, our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Mahaned Elshakey, Peter Gwynne once gave a bath to a baby Peter Segal. Emma Choi is our vibe curator, technical direction Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller, our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilagg, the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth. Now, handle. What's going to happen at the World Cup Final? Dulce Sloan. Argentina loses and Messi has to give Yamal another bath. Alonzo Bowden. Donald Trump is shocked and angered to find out they give the trophy to the winning team and not to him. Helen Hong. That stadium has to clear out immediately to make way for Taylor Swift's Val Renewal. And if any of that happens, Penna will ask you about it on, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Alzo Slade. Thanks also to Dulce Sloan, Alonzo Bowden, and Helen Hong. And thanks to all of you for listening. I'm Tom Hoppe, filling in for Peter Segal. And we'll see you next week. This is NPR.