We're Addicted To Playing Green Greg Simulator: Fri Sep 11, 2026

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Work hard and hydrate hard with Body Armor Flash IV. Whether you're working in extreme heat or powering through a long shift, Body Armor Flash IV delivers faster, longer-lasting hydration. With more than 2,000 milligrams of electrolytes, vitamins B and C, and zinc, coconut water, and no artificial sweeteners, flavors, or dyes, Body Armor Flash IV keeps you performing at your best. Get Body Armor Flash IV at your local 7-Eleven. This one's brought to you by TickPick. Ever actually read a ticket receipt? Service fee? Processing fee? Convenience fee? Convenient for who? That's an extra $30 a ticket. TickPick doesn't do that. Never has, never will. No fees means the exact same seat, same section, same row. Costs less on TickPick. Fans trust TickPick for all their live events. Check the reviews yourself. So why overpay for the exact same seat? Download the TickPick app and never pay another service fee again. And for new TickPick customers, take $20 off your first order with promo code PMT20 in the TickPick app. Terms apply. That's PMT20 at checkout for $20 off your first order. Three, two, one. It's the act. It's the act. You the robot. What? It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. That's a spicy meatball. It's the act. Are you serious? It's the act. I'm the coolest one out of all of us. That was incredible. It's the act. It's the act. Hello, it's the act. Welcome in. It is Friday. StovuCoffee.com. I didn't promote the show. I have to do that. StovuCoffee. It's the act. Let's talk about StovuCoffee real quick. StovuCoffee? Talk about how much you love dogs. You talking to me or Kyle? You. Both of you. No, Kyle doesn't love dogs. Kyle's a cat guy. I love dogs. Which, pause, Chicago does have cats as well. You can go to Circle K. You can go to Target. You can go to. 7-Eleven? 7-Eleven. Hold on. I'm just promoting. Locations around the country. Espresso Sweet Cream or Espresso Cafe Mocha. Amazon. Amazon. You can go to the store locator on StovuCoffee.com to see where the store is near you. I appreciate that very much, Brandon. Yeah, you got it. All right. Just hitting it. Okay. Hello, everyone. Hello. Hello. Brandon, I put one digit from your phone number on every Yak card. I swear I thought about doing the same thing. Yeah? Yeah. You're signing all your Yak cards? No, I'm not. I only made it halfway through. I'm halfway. Kate, you're going to owe a couple free foot rubs. Oh. But, Kate, you're gay. Uh, well, Brandon, you shouldn't have gone first. Oh, no. Brandon and I have a collab card. Yeah, that sucks. And he wrote that I was gay on a few of them. You have a Hitler mustache on like half of them. No, no, no, no, no. And, Brandon, you have an armband. Yeah. And then you say, fuck a certain group of people. Yeah. The voice bubble. Yeah. And a couple I did, I was like, this is a Hitler mustache pointing to your face, just so that we were very clear. Oh, you actually wrote that? Yeah, and a couple. Most of them, just the Hitler mustache. Okay. But, yeah. Just to be sure. Kyle, I looked through some of yours just to get to see what you were signing, and you were like pretty inspirational on them. No, I wasn't. The one I pulled out, you were just like, never stop breathing. Oh, yeah. That I'm one. It's also the worst picture of me. Imagine. Same with mine. I look like shit. I don't know when it was taken. It must have been after like a endurance competition. Yeah. Are you super, mine's like the Fasoli, but where I'm like real round. Wait, really? Yeah. Don't worry. I drew over that. Zod, do you want to say what you did with one of yours? Which one? Oh, you know. Which one? You know what I'm talking about. The one I pocketed? Yeah. There is, and I wish I thought of it for my one of one. It's one of the, I think it's one of the 25s. I gave out a pass. Yeah. Oh, no way. Oh, wow. So, somebody out there. Oh, Mincy ran in and tried to grab it. But how does that work? Well, for Mincy, he would treat it like a get out of jail free. Saw. Yeah. Just like it. If you say it, you present the, you present the card like legally bounding for only one time. My signatures on there one time. I said it on there. You see my face on there so you can confirm they just need your approval. There it is. Just flash the card. Yeah. They don't like the end doubles. Nevermind. Oh, it's like how some cops will give out that card to their buddies. When they get pulled over. Right. Exactly. Right. Yeah. So, do you envision somebody holding the card out and then saying it or saying it and then being like, now, wait a minute, I know you're upset, but I've got this. You also got to make it count. The, the, the ladder, the ladder will be way would make the moment. Like you're, you're driving up to Wisconsin to camp and you're singing outcast. You think, you think you got him, but boom. Right. Right. No, you ain't. Oh, I needed the whole set of cards. Yeah. I think he got me, but nope. No, you don't. How crazy is it going to be when our one black listener gets that comment? Yeah. What a waste. Damn it. Fuck. Man. Just throw it away. You know, it seems like she might have the pass is a miss Rachel. Yeah. Oh yeah. She's valid. Are you following that? Uh, she's becoming like a black icon. Yeah. Yeah. She's black community. Really? She's with lethal shooter. Uh huh. Yeah. And then like all the comments. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The best ball. But now I understand it. Guy. Oh shit. Yeah. Now. Again. There you go. So why would this be? I have a thought, but I don't, I don't know if I can say why would, why would this be? Uh, let's see. Can I get a three 60? Now I see why now you see why big cat now you see why. Okay. Okay. Okay. I don't blame him. Guys. Leave my Rachel. She looks ridiculous. Like the way that she's dressing up obviously as Ms. Rachel. Yeah. But like out of work. Yeah. You can do hard things. I had to apply it to myself. I've never played basketball, but when you have an amazing voice, she's awesome. Hello. I found myself talking like that. Yeah. Watched it too much. Um, do you guys, do you guys want to, do you guys want to play some Greg? We played, uh, we played, uh, Greg on mostly sports today. Um, I don't know if you saw the Kansas, Missouri, the Kansas football hype video. Yeah. Yeah. Where Kansas is a whole stance was like those other guys love slaves. Yeah. And we don't. Um, so we called Greg to get a comment on Missouri stance on slavery. And he said, no. What? I said, would you like to comment on, on, oh, no comment. I said, no, I'm not going to comment on that. I'm going to comment on the Kansas football hype video. concern Mario's way more electric than Greg. Oh, yeah. He's the brains behind the operation. Do you guys see the video of them in their younger days? Zach, give him the card real quick. Do it, Greg. Greg, you're loud. You can do it. You got the pass, Greg. I know you want to. It's a rare cheat code. All right, what do we think, Greg? Left. Left. Stop. Right. Turn right. Fourth row down. And three in. Nice cookies and cream. Cookies and cream. Oh, cool. All right, we'll take that. That's in the Reese's family. Okay, you know what? Get some Orbitz gum. The pink one. You might have bad breath. Good, clean feeling. Yep. Okay, we'll take that. Perfect. Greg, now run. Chunky bar. That was a chunky bar. I don't know if they have it. Hey, Greg, are there silly sunglasses in there? I'll Venmo you. I already Venmo'd him. So buy whatever you guys want. Buy whatever you guys want. Don't feel bad about this. Silly sunglasses, please. Don't worry about this. Oh, what's this? Okay, ooh. They got rhino pills there? Oh, yeah. Greg, they got rhino pills? Get some dick pills and some Red Man Chew. Okay, what do we got here? Greg, can you grab maybe some chips? Sunflower seeds? Greg, is there a chance you fuck tonight? With these? Yeah. Okay. Okay, Greg, grab some chips and salsa. I'd like to see you and Mario try to eat chips and salsa while you're driving on the highway. Yes. Mario ain't coming with me. Oh. Oh, fuck. Really? Where is he? Damn. Uh, Greg, ask the attendant if they have soup. Greg, go behind the counter. Alright, what else? Yeah, ask the attendant for soup. Ask the attendant where the soup is. They have chowder or minestrone. Italian wedding? Yeah, ask where the, say, where is the Italian wedding soup? Be nice. Yeah, be nice about it, Greg. Alright. Do you, uh, do you guys have soup here? Like, do you sell any soup? I do. Alright, perfect. Oh, okay, perfect. Alright, let's get some soup. Is soup? Yeah. It's canned soup. I got a can of soup, I guess. Oh, there you are. Uh, fuck. Wide variety of soup. That's not soup. That's not soup, Greg. Ask for a ladle, Greg. There you go. Okay. Uh, let's see. Oh, you know, get yourself some Pringles. You know what helps me when I'm hungover? A slushie. Ooh, yeah. Maybe get, like, a mix. A slushie mix. You gotta drink fast. Do they have shopping carts here? Okay. What else we got? What's in the back? Oh, grab some donuts. Greg, do they have hot food? Oh, a buffalo. Oh, what is that? I see some nooners in the background there. Wait, it's donuts. That looks like slushie for a brain freeze. Oh, I was saying grab the bag of donuts, but yeah. Separately, is this how Reed grocery shops? It is. Yeah. If there's a Dave cut out over there by that high known, should he have to grab the Dave? Yes. Is their car just running on the pump right now? Uh, no. Oh. That was like the, uh. I don't think so. What are you doing? Automatic. That's. By the way, that was our producer, TJ, who, uh. grew up in New Jersey, who does not know how pumps work. That's right. That was a hell of a question, TJ. You know that they stop, right? Greg, what. TJ? No, no, I'm saying is their car out there unlocked sitting at the pump? Yeah, it is. Oh, okay. Unlocked. Okay, got it. I thought you meant if the pump was running. No, no, no. I meant the car. Greg, I'd like to give you one last chance to speak on Missouri's ties to slavery before the game against Kansas. We can't just be yelling this out in the gas. I'm giving you a chance to denounce it. Uh, no comment. Okay. Good job. Greg, pretty easy to say. I don't want to say the wrong thing. Right. There's only one right thing to say. He doesn't want to denounce it weirdly. He's got a select fan base that he does not want to piss on. Greg, you're coming across as pro-slavery. Yeah. Really? Yes. I know. What's your stance on slavery, Greg? What's your stance on slavery? Bad. Okay. Your stance is bad? He has a bad stance. He has a goofy stance. Say no more. Greg, please get a slushie. He turns his feet the other way when he's. Oh, man. Okay. Oh, is that Mountain Dew? What flavor are you getting, Greg? A secret. Huh? He said a secret. No, it's liquid. Oh, it's not on. Never mind. Oh, okay. It's out of order. Okay. Oh, no. Not ready. None of it's ready. That's okay. That's all right, Greg. Just pour that out. What do you do? Yeah. What do you do? What do I do with it? Is it a real pickle? What do you do? What about the ones to the left? Oh, bro's controller's off. Are those ready? That one's so green. Oh, Greg. Greg. Look at the green. Greg. Greg. There's the greenest one ever. There's the green right there. Did he just add another one? Yes. Yes. How's it look? Still blue. Okay. Okay. I just don't know if he gets. Is that just loose candy? It does look like that, doesn't it? What is that? Oh, is that for the donuts maybe? Candy on the donuts? Yeah. Okay. It has to be for the donuts. This is just so. This is so good. It's the longest anybody's stayed in this gas station. Greg, does that guy in the Puma shirt know you? Yes, sir. You know, he's a part of the sports. Oh, my God. Not the question. Green grass. He's got a little. That guy was cool. He's got sunglasses on the back of his hat. That's how you know he's cool. So, Greg, you're going to fight a random dude in here? With you're going to fight a random dude. Who has a sunglass on the back of his hat. Grab your 20 things and scurry away. All right, Greg, that's enough. That's good, Greg. Yeah, you can pay. No, yeah, you're good. And then out the front door. Greg, be on your way. That's all bargain with the cashier. But grab that. There's a games room right there. What is that? Well, lots of games, probably. Oh, yes, lots. Yeah, they got to. Greg, what do we got there? Right there to the right. In that I know. No, the cooler turn. Turn, turn. Right there. Warmer. What do we got? What kind? Grab one. What kind of Lunchables? Turkey cheddar and ham and swiss, ham and cheddar. Get the turkey cheddar. Get the ham. Green gregs and ham. Hello. Hello. I really hope they have a bag. That salsa's going down. I think they probably have bags. I don't know. OK, you're good to pay. OK. Well, we got to check the counter for stuff. Greg, what do you think the final price will be? Pork rinds, right? Mario, can you say the line? It's a me, baby. Oh. Why was he so deep there? He's trying to impress the workers. Oh. I was about to say, don't walk off with those. Check his pockets. we're good yeah we're at the party greg do they sell individual cigarettes yeah what am i getting along you want to be in it what'd you say greg greg do they have rubbers for your cock for your big hard cock yeah greg do they have rubbers for your hard cock greg you must inquire uh 58 30 ask if they have cock rubbers greg cock rubbers you got say the line greg greg do they have hero do they have cock rubbers just once you'll never see him again there we go there's a bag i won't do yeah you will you we'll be good for you uh do you have italian wedding wait greg did you get did you get your cock rubbers greg did you get your you said you were gonna fuck tonight greg you need a cock rubber oh let's go there are people in columbia see you hell yeah but if greg denounced slavery he wouldn't have had that in iraq yeah that's true do you know how many people just heard you guys ask if they have cock rubbers oh fuck what like almost three almost a quarter dozen all right greg godspeed all right all right miz look at his camera angle i bet on kansas tonight so what i just said i bet on kansas they're the good guy yeah i bet on the team that's that's not pro-slavery are you flying we aren't anymore we aren't anymore all right greg good luck all right see you boys see you mario mario why are there more people around this gas station than there were on campus right this place is packed the midwest that's a good shot 24.99 good shot i was expecting way more i don't want to stop this is the news trinkets had a risky play call and he went for it and i mean it paid off well for the tires miz if we showed that video and we were like guess which one we hired oh why didn't mario apply yeah i i texted greg last night i was like dude like we have to play more grace all i could think about i was like can you give us five minutes of greg he's like i will be at the gas station he's like perfect thank you yeah like tj someone said in the chat that this is impractical jokers without the earpiece everyone so true ask for cock stuff your hard cock greg i love him i love him i used to not love him but i love him now oh that's what it'll do to you yeah about time you saw the vision i saw the vision didn't vote for him but saw the vision not vote for him not even once not even a little bit again i was pulled aside and i was told you have to vote for him i still still did it and yeah it is he kind of ended up being the only one that lived in missouri right yeah yeah hey it's what like it's grand theft auto if it was i am legend the yeah an empty server yeah oh man i still can't believe papa best found him i mean that's a big campus at the last second yesterday papa best is damn good he's good isn't that right mark right there in the name he's the best he knows how to do content that's for sure oh man all right so what do we got everyone it's friday that is friday those cards are going to be awesome though i'm signing them all did everyone sign them all i've got halfway yeah i still have to go i would say i've signed what do you think tj 150 cards i didn't see how much progress you got through that was all of yours up there no i just mean that's how much we're signing we're all like 100 oh i feel like it might have been more each person is signing two sets of 25 10 5 and 1 and then some of you have duo autos so there's like a brandon big cat duo there's a nick kb duo there's a kate danny duo there's a titus chef donnie duo oh that's gonna be a cream team duo so each of those is a 25 10 5 and 1 and then there's a group auto with all of you on it i put a marry me on one of the cards i don't know whoa yeah he said that so fast i said that so fast trying to add it up 25 10 5 and 1 and then i was like fuck that sounds like a lot of cards a lot of cards it's a lot of cards it's a lot of cards brandon you got a little silly with yours i just i texted tj this morning said what are all my catchphrases on the act so i signed some big customers some with the pumpkin joke some with the density joke some with the those jam there's a lot of juice in those jams i got a lot of jay huh maybe gay in a couple i signed a few just as dave portnoy oh yeah yeah yeah i rubbed a couple on your guys's seats and then i'm like this card was rubbed onto brandon's no kidding this card was rubbed onto titus i'm gonna do the yak house on my one of one oh that's good maybe on my 10 of 10 i might do 10 yak houses we'll see whoa yeah so by the cards you might get a yak house who are the logan berries logan sport berries this is the alma mater of bill titus father's alma mater who he sent me this uh when we started mostly sports and they use felix the cat as their logo that's right damn cool felix the cat was everywhere for not being that what is what was he in talk though right no and and when when the talk when the talking came around he got left in the dust yeah was he associated with wendy's a lot i don't know no was he was he on wendy's stuff he didn't know how to talk no like he was popular like i think logan sport picked him as the mascot like in the 20s or something 1920s but could he talk but then i feel like he was in those cartoons where he wasn't talking there was no talking and then by the time talking had been invented he was left too late so did they grab him as a logo before copyright law even existed must have i don't know still a popular clock yeah i feel like i have him oh you do yeah yeah i like those i think that's i don't know if i've ever seen an actual cartoon like i've seen the image but i've never yeah i don't i don't remember i don't think i've ever seen like a betty boot park cartoon but there's like she's a famous cartoon character from back then i think the best felix the cat cartoons are just like gifs now probably like a five second is he the third most popular comic cat so you're putting behind garfield and heathcliff yeah you'd have to right sylvester what tom and jerry oh yeah he's barely top five my kids have been watching tom and jerry really funny it's violent oh yeah it's really funny yeah tom and jerry's great did they team up they teamed up for the what's the dog what were there ever episodes were they like the bulldog right the bulldog they teamed up against or no they joined forces why do i have this memory i don't know every so often was the bulldog every so often they were tom i feel like they might have ganged up yeah they might have ganged up against tom poor tom remember it wasn't always one-on-one or so they'd mix it up sometimes tom just always got the got shit on it's a true story after tom lay that's right yeah okay so so garfield no doy tom two felix three sylvester's more famous than felix oh i forgot about sylvester top cat who the fuck is that that's top cat he was kind of a horny cat was he not top cat hello kitty is one the aristocat hello kitty's not actually a cat what who's who's penelope pussycat was she's that the one that peppy lepew is trying to yes hot as fuck no aristocats i didn't know her name was penelope thomas o'malley what uh what is hello kitty then you said it's not a cat it's not a cat what is it it's a it's a little it's like a fictional character but it's not a cat it dresses up like a cat hello what it's a it's japanese man dressed up as a cat pretty much that's i think can we google it we're gonna google it looks like a cat is this something i made up hello kitty a cat or a japanese man it's just like a very a human little girl oh it's a little girl it dresses as i'll be goddamn kate you went again that rocked my world i did uh wrigley uh a couple weeks ago i went to the one at white socks there was a hello kitty night at the white socks yeah really that's got it that's that's an adult thing that's like whoa yeah back up like if you see a dude at a hello kitty night yeah in line that's a little treacherous that's one of those sting operations we're like oh here's your hello kitty okay and then come with us yeah look at him i'd rather have gone to that than bark at the park night that was there was a lot of dogs where'd you go let this go the bark at the park you didn't like it it was it was it was so many dogs it was there was 11,085 1185 i'm sorry wait where was this white socks game they had bark in the park yeah but it was just the outfield area it was kind of cool there was like a fire hydrants all in the outfield like a concourse dogs were fighting they were fighting i i couldn't like taking stella to that she would hate it yeah also i guess when the white socks pick somebody off that's trying to steal they play a doorbell sound oh that happens dogs were going nuts yep yeah there's a lot that's all i'm sure it was cute and not annoying just kind of like a just a low buzz of annoying sounds just constantly throughout the sporting event yes yes that sounds fun just like a lot of dog barking constant like yeah you're there to like yeah unnatural sound at a sporting event yeah kind of constantly buzzing something in yeah you bring something in to make annoying noises the entire game and the people that are there just to watch the game are just like will you please shut the fuck up people that are there are also in on the tradition and it's tradition 60,000 people with them does it get old the sound oh they're terribly annoying to me i'm not a big cowbell guy i collect them i don't take them to games i i collect them as part of the game i don't take them to games i don't take them to games i don't take them to games with my decoration but i the most annoying when when you're scoring touchdowns everybody's ringing them that's not loud that's not annoying it's when it's silent and there's one eight-year-old kid behind you just constantly ringing his that so would you want them banned you want that no no no no no no you can't ban it's tradition feels cheap every other school is buying linebackers and quarterbacks for billions of dollars and we're just trying to get along we got 60,000 people there let us have our fucking cowbells it's also amazing tradition you going to any games this year i'm gonna try to go to the alabama game on october 2nd and if i can't go that one i'm gonna try to go to the oklahoma game on october 16th loss loss nope we're going to at least two of those are you gonna win this weekend i don't know this one i'm nervous about i think we lose this one i think we start one and two and then we start picking teams off that aren't expecting it i think we beat missouri then we beat alabama then we we start rolling where is the missouri game uh starkville would you bring anybody oh wow i don't like who you serious you could play in first person greg would be more comfortable in a pro-slavery pro-slavery that's right he doesn't have to chill at home can you tell me about the helmet because i'm just looking at it yeah i don't know i this was just sitting on my uh on my chair this is sick the blue and they i think it's uh the turf yeah yeah it's our alternate helmet i might have to that's awesome i think i have memphis but i might have to switch just because of you know that i'm gonna switch to boise this weekend that's a big number for these two teams i know but it's just like that yeah we're boise guys here you know yeah at the blue turf that's about as good a helmet is that is the thing going down the is that text is that like a design is that like small words those are just yard lines no yeah this is just blue turf like it's like little pieces of blue turf i see now i see yard lines cool 1986 cool it's really cool is that when they started the blue turf yeah that's what it says i thought they started like like what year does it have to be to be like cool uh because like like whenever you see like established like 2022 you're like yeah okay yeah right i'm kind of the opposite you like when it's like recent i don't like when businesses like flex that they were established hundreds of years oh i love someone's like oh yeah we've been around we've been we've been serving this sandwich since 1942 i'm like well that's good i'm kind of getting that that's the popular opinion yeah kb i'm sort of like i i go you go to a restaurant that's like established 1912 and more often than not i'm like you're you're on some 1912 shit we've evolved we've all changed we have way you guys have bigger goals we haven't changed in 200 years that's what i'm saying yeah that's what i'm saying yeah but a lot of times it does hold up but yeah we went to that burger place that hasn't changed their grease for a hundred years tires yeah and uh memphis i'd rather you change it yeah just change the burger was great change the oil though yep on the other side how long can a store uh leave up a grand opening sign uh it's off-tasked week i was gonna feel like two years up for a long time i think a month a month i gotta oh no let's hear it he finally got a good one so the man who brought you jpp sure giovanni bernard of course ruben bain what's the ruben bain lubin that's that's just terrible that's that's that's every person in what did giovanni bernard tell that's not every person named ruben giovanni bernard terrible give us jpp j p p puts chills down my spine justin bieber um justin bieber maxi maxi kleber oh yeah one of my favorites maxi kleber okay nefisa nefisa all right so these are all bad yeah he debuted one though last night did i don't know why he didn't do it for the 10 years that mike evans was on the bucks oh no he's got a mike right after he left the box he's got a mike evans right after he left the box he's got a mike evans right after he left the box he's got a mike evans hold on we got to get the the camera on you right after he left the box he's got a mike evans right after he left the box he's got a mike evans right after he left the box he's got a mike evans because it's the most asian he can be right after he left the box he's got a mike evans right after he left the box he's got a mike evans right after he left the box he's got a mike evans and it's so good okay i think to be honest it right after he left the box he's got a mike evans started with kate okay all right tj load up a right after he left the box he's got a mike evans gong sound yeah wait but look into the camera right after he left the box he's got a mike evans che i love this i don't know where this is going che i love this i don't know where this is going che i love this i don't know where this is going that's such a basic name that's such a basic name that's such a basic name big mike big mike big mike holy holy holy that was good dude i had him stand like that was good dude i had him stand like that was good dude i had him stand like 20 times i was like do it again do it 20 times i was like do it again do it 20 times i was like do it again do it again again again i've been saying it all morning i've been saying it all morning i've been saying it all morning oh my god so i so oh my god so i so oh my god so every time i pass kadic i say this like every time i pass kadic i say this like every time i pass kadic i say this like kind of under my breath but loud enough kind of under my breath but loud enough kind of under my breath but loud enough for him to hear it and i saw him this for him to hear it and i saw him this for him to hear it and i saw him this morning and he he said it to me yeah morning and he he said it to me yeah morning and he he said it to me yeah because i was saying that to you for because i was saying that to you for because i was saying that to you for months he's like oh yeah i hear it yeah months he's like oh yeah i hear it yeah months he's like oh yeah i hear it yeah yeah give it to us again yeah give it to us again yeah give it to us again big my he finally got one that could go like he finally got one that could go like he finally got one that could go like global yeah i was thinking i was like global yeah i was thinking i was like global yeah i was thinking i was like all right we got gaseki we got like when all right we got gaseki we got like when all right we got gaseki we got like when pennix so many mics i need it every pennix so many mics i need it every pennix so many mics i need it every sunday just big why'd you decide to make sunday just big why'd you decide to make sunday just big why'd you decide to make this one chinese i know i don't know this one chinese i know i don't know this one chinese i know i don't know it's just i don't even think about it it's just i don't even think about it it's just i don't even think about it when i say it but i say guys names all when i say it but i say guys names all when i say it but i say guys names all the times yeah but this one is the times yeah but this one is the times yeah but this one is we'll give it to us again we'll give it to us again we'll give it to us again big my big my big my i love it i love it i love it oh man oh man oh man i was just pressing this chase soundboard i was just pressing this chase soundboard i was just pressing this chase soundboard last night okay it was like do it again i last night okay it was like do it again i last night okay it was like do it again i really like the big really like the big really like the big great game the justin bieber one is so great game the justin bieber one is so great game the justin bieber one is so random it's from like an old otis random it's from like an old otis random it's from like an old otis freestyle freestyle freestyle remember that yeah that is what it's remember that yeah that is what it's remember that yeah that is what it's from i don't know why you associate it from i don't know why you associate it from i don't know why you associate it with that but with that but with that but it is from that i don't i i was it is from that i don't i i was it is from that i don't i i was repeating that for a long time in like repeating that for a long time in like repeating that for a long time in like 2011 and it's just stuck in my so every 2011 and it's just stuck in my so every 2011 and it's just stuck in my so every time i hear his name i just say his time i hear his name i just say his time i hear his name i just say his name in that cadence name in that cadence name in that cadence justin bieber justin bieber justin bieber justin bieber big mike is my favorite big mike is my favorite big mike is my favorite thank you thank you i i'm a giovanni thank you thank you i i'm a giovanni thank you thank you i i'm a giovanni bernard guy myself bernard guy myself bernard guy myself giovanni bernard giovanni bernard giovanni bernard it just sucks you got it his career it just sucks you got it his career it just sucks you got it his career yeah you waited for him to leave tampa yeah you waited for him to leave tampa oh i i made tom brady laugh with it oh i i made tom brady laugh with it oh i i made tom brady laugh with it with the giovanni bernard yes with the giovanni bernard yes with the giovanni bernard yes you remember i was um yeah i asked my you remember i was um yeah i asked my you remember i was um yeah i asked my question how he's always smiling how question how he's always smiling how question how he's always smiling how what was the laugh oh it was 100 real what was the laugh oh it was 100 real what was the laugh oh it was 100 real genuine laugh like a hearty laugh yeah genuine laugh like a hearty laugh yeah genuine laugh like a hearty laugh yeah he asked me to say it again belly laugh he asked me to say it again belly laugh he asked me to say it again belly laugh apparently he was in a very sour mood apparently he was in a very sour mood apparently he was in a very sour mood that day and i got oh you saved tom that day and i got oh you saved tom that day and i got oh you saved tom brady yes the next day i went back and brady yes the next day i went back and brady yes the next day i went back and everyone was like we're so happy you everyone was like we're so happy you everyone was like we're so happy you were here yesterday because were here yesterday because were here yesterday because you're kind of late in the mood you're kind of late in the mood you're kind of late in the mood oh i didn't realize oh i didn't realize oh i didn't realize steven shea barcelona it's nice to steven shea barcelona it's nice to steven shea barcelona it's nice to meet you so um i was uh meet you so um i was uh meet you so um i was uh they asked how money how is the rest of they asked how money how is the rest of they asked how money how is the rest of the backfield down with rashad why um the backfield down with rashad why um the backfield down with rashad why um giovanni giovanni giovanni why do we never see this why do we never see this why do we never see this what is that what is that what is that you've never told did we watch that you've never told did we watch that you've never told did we watch that before i've never seen that certainly before i've never seen that certainly before i've never seen that certainly we've never seen that oh my god genuine we've never seen that oh my god genuine we've never seen that oh my god genuine laughter out of tom four years ago but laughter out of tom four years ago but laughter out of tom four years ago but yeah yeah this was talked about at the yeah yeah this was talked about at the yeah yeah this was talked about at the time i don't think so dude i would have time i don't think so dude i would have time i don't think so dude i would have remembered stuff to it yeah it may have remembered stuff to it yeah it may have remembered stuff to it yeah it may have have we seen it from that angle no no have we seen it from that angle no no have we seen it from that angle no no that's a different angle that's what it that's a different angle that's what it that's a different angle that's what it is is is wow wow wow the ball's on you steve the ball's on you steve the ball's on you steve fun time will you do that to mike evans fun time will you do that to mike evans fun time will you do that to mike evans hi steven shay barcelo sports nice to hi steven shay barcelo sports nice to hi steven shay barcelo sports nice to meet you um i was uh interested meet you um i was uh interested meet you um i was uh interested obviously asked about lenny how is the obviously asked about lenny how is the obviously asked about lenny how is the rest of the backfield depth with rashad rest of the backfield depth with rashad rest of the backfield depth with rashad white um giovanni bernard and others giovanni bernard giovanni bernard giovanni bernard jay great camera work with that jay great camera work with that jay great camera work with that back there back there back there zyra kaufman our hall of fame voter big zyra kaufman our hall of fame voter big zyra kaufman our hall of fame voter big bye bye bye i often think about how you were what was i often think about how you were what was i often think about how you were what was that that that i'm just long for the ride brandon i'm just long for the ride brandon i'm just long for the ride brandon like everyone else oh that's our hall of like everyone else oh that's our hall of like everyone else oh that's our hall of fame voter fame voter fame voter big bye jay i often think about how you were the jay i often think about how you were the first one to post the brian winhorse first one to post the brian winhorse first one to post the brian winhorse meme with the double fingers yes that's meme with the double fingers yes that's meme with the double fingers yes that's my biggest that was you yeah i'll be my biggest that was you yeah i'll be my biggest that was you yeah i'll be damned he's the one who did it well damned he's the one who did it well damned he's the one who did it well brian winhorse did it but you started brian winhorse did it but you started brian winhorse did it but you started jay took a video of the tv yes jay took a video of the tv yes jay took a video of the tv yes um it was july 1st i was expecting um it was july 1st i was expecting um it was july 1st i was expecting wimbledon to be on and uh first on wimbledon to be on and uh first on wimbledon to be on and uh first on which i normally do not like and um which i normally do not like and um which i normally do not like and um yeah took a video of it and uh i was on yeah took a video of it and uh i was on yeah took a video of it and uh i was on the edge of my seat i was laughing and the edge of my seat i was laughing and the edge of my seat i was laughing and uh i took a video of it had good audio uh i took a video of it had good audio uh i took a video of it had good audio and uploaded it and well what'd you and uploaded it and well what'd you and uploaded it and well what'd you caption it caption it caption it wendy looks like the teachers that says wendy looks like the teachers that says wendy looks like the teachers that says that i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know can you yeah i don't know can you yeah i don't know can you yeah so twitter updated and you can sort so twitter updated and you can sort so twitter updated and you can sort your tweets by most liked is that your your tweets by most liked is that your your tweets by most liked is that your number one check oh really yeah number one check oh really yeah number one check oh really yeah um um um what i think so what i think so what i think so stew by the way just highlights oh stew by the way just highlights oh stew by the way just highlights oh sort by cool sort by cool sort by cool where where is this where is this oh it's not my biggest oh no oh it's not my biggest oh no oh it's not my biggest oh no um what's your biggest tweet um what's your biggest tweet um what's your biggest tweet uh uh uh it has been discovered that lebron james it has been discovered that lebron james it has been discovered that lebron james is sleeping with his newest team and is sleeping with his newest team and is sleeping with his newest team and it's mine My Isaiah Harkinstein Criticizing his parenting Is my second biggest tweet Goodness gracious Goodness gracious Where's highlights? I got highlights It's a drop down Click on posts Yeah Sort by Popular I don't have any highlights It's not in highlights It's sort by You gotta set it highlight I think highlights Is something that you You decide yourself Oh mine's the one Where everybody thought I looked like that Philly Karen With the gray hair Fuck 85,000 likes That's the one right above it I'm not kidding Can we do it? I'm not either Yeah I think that's I guess it's by comments Not views Yeah good times Brandon is your biggest Kobe? Probably Not Brandon No it might be It might be him Yeah Oh It's him 32 million? It's him Yeah my top two Oh no Damn And here's my Kobe Yeah And then Oh a good one for the whites Dan is your biggest Kobe? No I had to delete A couple of the Kobes Oh yeah Yeah Yeah a couple of the Kobes Had to go Laker Dan Laker Dan Laker Dan had to go Mine's like I think it's still blue Oh no Oh Oh Oh. There we go Oh my kid Preferable yeah Yeah That's probably appropriate Oh remember when Mean Girls pods If they didn't wash their hands? That's an easy one That had to have been About a small penis right? It had to be a small penis Oh look a good Kobe one This Kobe yeah Yeah Alright nice Oh Yeah Trevor's dad He had squeezed his face Look at that I asked him about that when we interviewed him He was just like Yeah I straight up hate Coronavirus That's a banger Yeah Really bold take Right to the point You went off for that I fucking went off And you collected the coins Yeah You were like Yeah this is good Oh fuck Oh no This is scary Alright Please get a job My mom desperately cries from outside my room as I strategically Oh this one sucks It's something I like on the Krusty Krab and something I dislike on the Chum Bucket She's completely oblivious to the amount of retweets I'll be commenting I was very bitter about the You got a lot of retweets on that one It was really Twitter My stepdad told me it was pointless to apply to med school because I was too stupid to be a doctor eight years later and one of us is an unemployed loser with a drinking problem and the other is making This was Twitter in 2018 I don't know why this is gonna renew his wedding vows to my mom Yeah That's some good shit That's a good I remember this one Kyle My girlfriend was in a horrid mood because someone stole her brand new $2,799 MacBook Pro so I bought her Chick-fil-A waffle fries with the money I made from pawning it and let her touch my ticket balls Dick Slash Balls And now she says that's what it's new That's all it takes for all my ticket balls That was it Dick Slash Balls goes hard I think I couldn't I didn't have the characters for the and You had to slash the balls Dick Slash Balls is funny Dick Slash Balls Let her touch my Dick Slash Balls Oh Oh man By the way Roback Roback Activewear college football season is here which means Roback's game day collection is fresh with new designs products and schools almost 80 schools total with new designs and products the best part is everything is custom designed for your school print polos with school logos campus landmarks long standing traditions team colors you name it hoodies and Q-zips in school colors with custom trims this isn't just slapping a logo on this is custom designed for your school as James Winston put it on Saturday we wear Roback so before your team loses and your season's over by week four take a look because it's going quick head to Roback.com R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com use code YAK for 20% off your first order best fit best feel Roback Brandon we're going to Ann Arbor yep that's gonna be fun sure is gonna be fun gonna go celebrate those Michigan Wolverines their big time win last week if they win this week though they are I know they are sucks like you can't bet on Oklahoma this weekend what am I crazy for thinking like yeah that was a huge win yeah you are did you watch it in real time I saw the clip like but the the stakes and implications of that final play like beating Western like losing to Western Michigan would have been but they were so the end of the that would have been a bigger win they were so dominated before Michigan I know but West the bigger win didn't happen of losing no the Western Michigan winning would have been a bigger win than Michigan winning for Western Michigan well for college football yeah for college football for the world would have been a new App State it was almost like we all expected Michigan to win so when they did it's like well yeah we expected that you're saying Michigan winning avoiding catastrophe avoiding catastrophe is a bigger win than like say beating a top 10 team by 14 you're walking down the street and a piano falls from the 5th floor and smashes right in front of you and you're like oh it's a big win that's kind of a big win like who cares that it was controversial if they lost then everything would be hellfire yeah and now they still have a chance we wanted the hellfire I know we wanted it but for them I kind of get why they got really excited yeah the hellfire will still come hopefully they got time you just yeah they got time it will still come the hellfire will come Brett Dave I don't know Dave the Dave factor in sports is you can't deny it like this weekend Oklahoma I think should win they're better they're a better team in every facet but it's Dave yeah yeah yeah and the fact that I when the clock went zeroes last week I FaceTimed him three times right who was Dave in a past life to deserve this he was like we need to look up deaths the year he was born Elvis was he Elvis what year did Elvis die 77 Elvis made it pretty far well he's only 42 when he died isn't that crazy to think about like that I'm Elvis's age or about to be yeah Elvis feels maybe it's more it's more just I don't I still feel like a child you feel like young Elvis child Elvis yeah I'm child Elvis like living past Jesus what was Jesus 33 yeah Elvis did not look good yeah it's like all those didn't look good at all I think I was thinking because I was thinking about like Jerry Garcia died when he was like 53 and it's like he was rough oh yeah 53 oh my god like 53 is like you see a 53 year old it's like Brandon he's fine oh yeah oh just real quick not 53 47 52 47 what are we gonna do for your 50 that's a great question oh my god you versus Jay in a case race no oh will you zoom in from Mississippi you said no when you said you leave you're never getting back online you hate the attention yeah you do you do hate the attention okay alright everybody let's relax time to tweet a list tonight sure let me go on ESPN I was just trying to get another picture of the outdoor boys guy um I it's all good you should quote tweet yourself and be like still miss this guy Mark I was doing it I was trying to find the tweet yeah man I miss him and that's it that's it that's all I gotta say also fuck coronavirus yeah fucking hate that shit what should we do for your 50th Brandon that's in three years we gotta start planning if we wanna do it right no no no no I'll y'all have to come down to is your contract up on your 50th that's exactly when it's up Nicky what was the best birthday you've ever had Brandon um oh I mean I got this job uh three days before my 40th birthday yeah so April 10th is when I got the job and April 13th was my 40th birthday so good guess that was a pretty fucking good one I had money I don't remember any like good birthdays I don't remember adult birthdays no yeah they all bleed together they all bleed together all the years bleed together man did you guys do anything wild for your 21st or was it I don't no I didn't I mean I like I I drank 21 drinks and pissed my bed yeah I went bowling you went bowling yeah went to the Cubs game mm-hmm had fun sat in the bleachers caught a home run in batting practice they don't I thought about that they're like did they change the batting practice can't do it anymore can't do it anymore right well they also the Cubs I don't know caught a home run on my 21st birthday that was the coolest thing that is sick out of the air batting practice yeah wow I don't know if they I mean I know the Cubs under Joe Madden they would never do batting practice which is kind of crazy you can they let people in I figure it's 90 minutes or 60 minutes before the game but it's like the tail end of batting practice and you can go by the way it's like it's like the very end right like often times yeah yeah Yeah, did you guys obviously did you guys talk on mostly sports about that? White Sox fan? Which one? The one who barehanded the home run? That was the greatest catch of all time. There's been two this week. There's been two. Oh, there's another one? There was a second one the night we went. There was one. The first one was, I actually think, might be the greatest catch of all time because it was going, like, 120 miles an hour. Yeah, that's a great reaction. I mean, that's insane. Oh, he reacted badass. That almost looks like a plant for, like, a movie that, like, is coming out. Right. He's on fire right now. Show it again. Yeah, they have it in, like, slow-mo. It looks like he's one-handed. And, like, that's so good. First time I saw this, I thought he had the baby. Like, I was zooming in with the guy with the baby right next to him. Oh, yeah. My first instinct, I was like, holy shit, but it's still incredible. But that is the dream. That's the coolest thing you could possibly do as an adult male. That was, like, Thor's hammer coming to him. Yeah. Yeah. That was sick. Is it cool for an adult male to ask for a ball that hasn't even been played? They just grab it from the bucket before the game, and they roll it under the net to you? Oh, no. Oh, no. That's embarrassing. That's the lamest thing I've ever heard. I don't know. So it's just like a. I mean, I'm sure if it was, like. Is it cool, though, if they don't really ask, they just go like this? Jake! Squeeze. I think everyone would assume it's for a kid, though. I think if my kid did that, I'd be like, dude, come on. There's no way anyone's ever done that. No. That's not a thing that you do. I think if you do that and then hand it to a kid immediately, it's fine. But otherwise. But even still, it's like, that's a bucket ball? Like, that's not even. It's not even a real one. Yeah, it's not a hit from anyone. It's like. It wasn't even handed to you? Was it handed? But I'm sure this guy. The guy gave it to the kid, though. Right. So I think. Is it a normal guy or, like, a big, goofy-ass guy? All's well that ends well. I don't. It's a hypothetical. Okay. What if he just didn't want to spend money on a baseball? That's true. Oh. Yeah, I guess. There were two kids sitting behind us, brothers, and one caught a foul ball, and the other one really wanted a ball. Oh, no. This is now. Hold on. Time out. Let me get involved at this point. Both those kids got balls. Eventually. But, like, I was like, give your ball to that kid. Brandon, you did this? Wait. Oh, God. I got Jake to sign that ball, and I'm going to give it to my nephew for Christmas, okay? So that ball is in most sports right now. Oh, free Christmas present. Nice. Nice. It's signed by Jake Mangum. Did I text him, hey, I need a bat, too, this morning? Yes. Fine. Whatever. But I had a plan for that ball the entire time. I also got there an hour before so he could hand me the ball. He knew he was going to give me the ball. This was a pre-agreed ball. It wasn't just some ball that I said, hey, give me that ball. It was a pre-determined ball. You texted him being like, hey, I'm going to get there early so you can give me a ball? No. No, I texted him even worse than that. I said, I came to Milwaukee, and you didn't give me a ball. Oh, my God, Brandon. If I come to Chicago, you better give me a ball. And he said, come before the game. And I said, I'll be there. And then he gave me a ball. Brandon. For my nephew. For Christmas. Brandon. For Christmas, yes. Eight months away. Four months away. You're going to forget. No, I'm not. It's on my desk right now. It says, Jake Mangum, let's go Bucs. That's what it says. He signed it the next day. And you held on to that as the boys behind you were jonesing for a while. Those boys were ball hogs. Those boys got plenty of balls. Those guys were just yelling every player's name in the pie. Everyone's, hey, O'Neal, give me a ball. Give me a ball. Shut up, kid. Like, you already got a ball. One kid got a ball. The other one was close to tears. He ended up getting a ball. He did end up getting a ball once the tears were flowing. If I turned and we were leaving and he didn't have a ball, I was going to give him the ball. But he had a ball by the time we left. And I have kids, too. I have kids, too. And nephews and nieces. In your defense, though, they give out a ton of balls. A ton of balls. There was balls for everybody. Every time they came in for the inning, they'd throw a ball in the crowd. And that's what sucked about us. We were sitting first row. All the balls were going past us. To the kids. So we were at a ball disadvantage. Seats were great, but not good for balls. Not good for balls. That's why I had to get there beforehand and say, Jake, give me a ball. Great experience. Too many dogs. Too many dogs. Too many dogs. If it's park in the park night, they should play baseball with tennis balls. Wow. Wouldn't that be a good wrinkle? Yeah. But the dogs run out in the field for them. That would be, yeah. The dog parade around the field lasted too long. You remember that girl's name that we took the picture with in the outfield? I said I was going to shout her out on the yak. I don't think she told us her name, did she? Did she not? Okay. Well. That'll do it. Shout out to you. She was very nice. Damn it. Heather? No. That's a white girl name. She was white. Mm-hmm. Shout out to you, Heather. She was nice. It wasn't Heather. All right. A girl cried meeting Brandon Walker. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, Brandon. Brandon. It's true. Brandon has so much emotion. You're that much of a dick, Dan. Some dude came up and said, Brandon, you're the absolute fucking best. He goes, Nick. And then I took pictures for Brandon all night. Wow. All night. Wow. I bet that was fun for you to see. I like seeing Brandon successful. Yeah. Your friend. Why are you mad about that? You're just such a liar. That girl was happy. She was shaking you. I'm talking about the rest of the night, though. Yeah, the rest of the night. It's more of two. But like that one. Nick landscape. Yeah. That one night. Do you volunteer? Does Brandon say, Nick, do you mind? I volunteer. You volunteer to take the pictures. Brandon in the sports world is huge. In the real world. In the real world. Yeah. No, you have unbelievable motion. You're killing it, Brandon. Not even trying to joke. All right. Really? Yeah. What else we got? Would you rather trade lives for a year with a podcast? Power for college football head coach who ends up going five and seven or just a regular 24 year old dude who lives in Cleveland, makes 60 grand a year, but his parents pay his rent. That was my question. Does a 24 year old dude come from money? No. What does he drive? Doesn't. No, this matter. All this matters. No, it doesn't. I gave you a red or black Honda CRV. I'm going to go with the coach. Yeah. Really? My buyout's going to be huge. What were the five wins? But you only trade for the year. What were the five wins, though? And what were the seven losses? One was a really decent win. Okay, so we won. You guys underperformed. Okay. Your approval rating is low. We lost at home to Purdue, but we beat Iowa on the road. Yeah, fair. I got to take him, I guess. Yeah. Okay. Graciano. I don't know anything. Oh. Oh, he's at five and seven. I don't know anything about Cleveland. You'd have fun. Cleveland is just a placeholder. It could be like any mid-sized city. Yeah. If you'd up the 24-year-old salary or even made him 26. I think 16. Okay, what about this? What if it's the 24-year-old Cleveland-er, but it's the year 2016? Oh, in Cleveland? Oh, boy. So the summer's going to be amazing. And the fall's amazing for a little bit. Until the. Until the very, very end. And you're hot. Oh, you're a hot 24-year-old. You're a hot 24-year-old. Well, if I'm a hot 24-year-old, you didn't say hot. A hot 24-year-old living in a major city is a pretty good life. Then bump the coach up to six and six. What bowl game do I go to? The Chobani Yogurt Bowl. I'll probably go with coach still. Damn. I was under the impression that that would be like a pretty miserable, stressful year. Yeah, I guess. It depends on what year, too. It's just so well-compensated. It's year one. What do you mean year one? Like, year one as a coach, you go five and seven. You can be like, all right, well, we're rebuilding something. You take over a two-win team, and you win five, you're in the right direction. Yeah, you're going the right way. If it's year three, you're supposed to turn it around already. Year three, and you win eight wins, eight wins, five wins. I'm on the hot seat. That's a terrible, terrible existence. My kids can't go to school. My wife can't go to her glee club. My dog can't go to the vet. Yeah. You can't even get any strange pussy? You can't get strange pussy? Strange pussy. Well, what about coach or a four-star recruit in high school? Four-star recruit might be one of the best lives you can have. Really? Yeah. That's an incredible. You can't go out and party. Oh, yeah, you can. You think so? A four-star recruit, a high four-star recruit in a senior year of high school is a top ten life in this country. It's a top ten life in this country. It's amazing. It's an amazing fucking life. He's the man of this high school. I'd say no. Dirt poor family. There's just no way. He's getting NIL offers out the wazoo. He's already getting money on the side. He's getting pussy on the side. It's getting thrown at him. It's getting arranged for him. Like, everything, his entire life is ahead of him. He's going to the NFL in four years, in his opinion. Four-star? Four-star is not, I mean. There's a difference in low four-stars and high four-stars, but a four-star generally thinks he, a four-star athlete right now, wherever he is in Odessa, Texas, or Nashville, Tennessee, he thinks in his mind he's going to the NFL, and he's getting all these offers. That's true. I'm with you on that. Three-star, yeah, that guy might be realistic. If I can just play four years in Champaign and then become an insurance salesman, my life will be fine. But the four-star is being told he's the fucking man. And a five-star, maybe that's the top ten life in the country. Yeah, I would say five-star is probably better than four-star. I would agree with that. Yeah. Now you have, of the top ten lives in America, you now have two high schools. football I think this is showing that you really want school pussy yeah best life list is high school pussy time time what are the other live DJ you got three yes can we change this to to being like the hot English teacher in high school yeah that oh my just out of college zero moral sick LLB I was getting the pussy from the college people the college we're getting them so you want to be a raped boy yeah yeah top ten life yeah release yourself from the strange chronic grip teen pussy has you there we go I got a question for you if you were in college and the police came into your house your apartment and they were coming for something else but you had a bong sitting out what's the what's the most embarrassing bong that you could have where like the cops are like hey you got any weed here and you're just like I just got this bong embarrassing how so like does like let's say it was like a Rick and Morty bong okay and you played for Penn State wait did this happen yeah that happened wait wait was it a rick and morty one yeah police of course found a rick and morty bong in a bottle that's like 50 of bong yeah that's a lot that's a common like yeah i just got this bong over here it's a rick and morty it's hard to find a bong these days without rick and morty oh yeah oh it's such a funny detail chef don is a rick and morty bong does he i got it for him housewarming you got one from a rush as well yeah it's 30th birthday yep i kind of just i'm on my way to somebody's birthday party i stop at a gas station i pick him up a rick and morty do bong guys low-key suck because like you really have to make an investment in your smoking to be like i'm a bong guy yeah after college yeah bong guys suck something's not quite adult bongers oh zai you got a bong yeah what's up nah i got a mini one i got a little okay mini i think mini's different i'm talking about like like the bong guy who has like a bong that's basically the centerpiece of their living you know you know why i got it i don't know if you guys do this uh if you try it we'll try it one day boil some green tea and then smoke it with instead of water use green tea it's unbelievable oh that does sound good it's unbelievable depends on the bong guy i'm thinking of like the guy what is it like dabs where they they roll up with like a tackle box oh yeah yeah they take up your whole table to get all their apparati out i just feel like and i'm not judging uh weed smokers i smoke weed but it's like the more the more you invest in it the lamer it gets the more tech involved yeah right i think so i feel like there's a direct overlap of those guys and guys with samurai swords on their walls i don't know how to explain it but those feel like the same kind of guys but whipping that out when you're high off your bong is a cool activity there's a few things if you the more tech gets it's like weed and jerking off yeah yes yes no jerking off yeah absolutely absolutely true yeah the minute you get a uh a fucking fleshlight yard glasses you're like dude what are you enough yeah you see the guys like speed running the guess the moan yeah what it's probably set up i think it's a sketch yeah guess what else is it the more tech you get the the lamer you get it's jerking off bad with vr i haven't done it but i feel like it would be awesome i think um we made za do it watch it at least while you watch porn yeah right on the vr that was i feel like i did it at too early of a stage vr i also i've never done it as well i feel like it's one of those situations the highs are probably higher but the lows are so much lower because when you're standing there with like a dripping cock and goggles on yeah it's gotta be just the yeah dude just the bottom i cannot imagine because i am of closing my work laptop right right how quickly i'd be ripping those oh my god just be like all right well i'm done it's just or if you're just like when i'm not jacking off and i have my v my massive helmet on and then i take it off and see my fiancee looking at me now i had a dripping cock going from pussy to you guys was was tough seeing pussy to us oh yeah you take off the headset and you're just oh yeah it's a shock that's like yeah it's like walking into like a cold convenience store on a hot day or the opposite yeah yeah hey brennan hey how are you still thinking about no that's on you that's on you i would like to like if you thought about it the top five american lives because i think you would be good at that oh no billionaires no billionaires yeah because billionaires are two that's on it now i have to go on your side i don't like i think it's a it's a young person i don't like brandon's list but i don't think it's a high school i think it's brandon hasn't even set his list and i don't like it and i disagree i so i'm going to start with an 18 year old five star a five-star quarterback in grapevine texas yeah i could see that is the fucking man and has everybody around the country begging to give him millions of dollars but what about the pressure there's so much pressure and so much yeah they're happy you haven't done anything yet in the whole world they don't know they haven't done anything you failed and that millions in you everybody's just like you have to if you're not the greatest thing you're not the greatest thing you're not the greatest thing of all time right you've robbed our you're telling me right now bryce underwood has a bad life i bet you he's not feeling good right now is johnny menzel thriving no no no that's a different scenario he's now in he's the he thrived for a while on that shit thrive i'm thinking like the the guy who's already accomplished it it has no pressure like big cat yeah kind of yeah that'd be cool i'm trying to think of top lives i don't think it's an athlete sports are it's they're too hard i was gonna say weirdly with athletes i would i would gravitate towards like a good not great nhl player why you're why okay so you're you're making money yeah you're obviously like a stud probably got a hot wife or girlfriend you have a nice house you also don't you don't have the pressure that like being a quarterback or nba player has like you can still live a somewhat normal life like being ryan whitney has to have rocked are you telling me that these guys he had pressure though he did have pressure but like these guys won't and keith yandle like he had a keith yandle might have one of the best lives he made a enough money that doesn't have to work again had a great career was just hanging with the boys for like a decade plus but when you're in it are you like shitting your pants this might be it that if i don't yeah if i have a couple bad games it might just cut my ass right now but if you're already a stud you're not gonna but if you're already established enough you kind of get the goodwill that's why i think you got to be established it's like the the elder it's like a 34 year old athlete maybe or third yeah i'm just like freddie freeman what about jordan yeah freddie freeman jordan speed no but he was he did so much so early and it hasn't done anything right but he's done it he's rich forever and he flies around privately to just play golf all the time yeah and if he wins one it's a bonus at this point about like kylie jenner's gay homeboy why even go athlete yeah yeah i don't think it's athlete i think i think there's too much with a super chill sugar daddy you guys are weighing pressure too much and not weighing the fact they get to play a fucking game for a living yeah but you could also invent something would be the biggest torture yeah any man could endure everyone says it's like the greatest life imagine you're like on top of jordan speed is a great example he was dominating the entire sport and then suddenly of a blink of an eye he's like not good and that would if you're in his shoes you got to be like how the fuck did that happen i don't know what happened or swing in the club it's got a way on or like being like uh max homer who's the man and he's made millions and millions of dollars but then he just like because he had like one off year everyone's like you suck at golf now it's like no no no he's still insanely good at the margins are soon yeah like i don't know oh you oh you finished 60th this year you you're a bum bum yeah like that's brutal wouldn't you just want to be rich accomplished and relaxed yeah right accomplished is big rich is big if i go to 35 you're you're retired and rich for the rest of your life you know what the answer i think is i think the answer is being like best friends with a dude who's super successful like a rapper's manager like or not not even that like like maybe like a dude who like started a business like mike he's got so micropoly obviously noble he's a friend of ours he owns a ton of horses we see him at saratoga every year and he brings like all of his like childhood friends with him yeah and a bunch of his childhood friends also worked for noble and body armor and like went the climb for him they don't have any pressure they're just but do they feel accomplished or lucky i probably like oh yeah i started this business too i don't know i met one of his friends who was like maybe 50 and i was like what do you do now he's like well i worked with mike all the years like now i'm just retired playing golf and like i come to horse races with him but you don't have your youth it seems nice i don't know that would be a sick life to just have like you don't have to be the main guy you can be one of the like elio elio's got a great life elio's got a great life but would you rather be elio or manny machado manny machado come on oh i think the answer is just like a filipino star yeah yeah a dominican baseball player dominicans too but filipinos treat if you have like pretty decent success in anything yeah they ride for you or like being yeah the best the best baseball player from like a small caribbean country you have to come through some shit though yeah they're in the trend true i think being like a wealthy power lesbian with no kids but you're a fun aunt i think that's a wealthy power lesbian what's a power get a lot of pussy you're like a queen of the town sure you don't have any men around right you got the nice living your peaceful fucking life yeah you got probably some hot ladies around honestly not that but like look what happened to ellen sure she's still happy you got to be like you got to be a really nice a nice pat fun a business lady cohen you just got a great life andy cohen's got it awesome life yeah everyone loves andy cohen what about anderson cooper doesn't he come from a shit ton of money he's a vanderbilt yeah right glory but i think the vanderbilt's lost all their money being born into generational wealth that would be pretty funny that's probably i don't know what do you mean you don't know a little weird with those shit they never they never had the transition from low to high yeah they were never low but i don't think there's what generation standards are what are y'all talking about whoa what generation what generation i don't know i think being second generation generational wealth would be awesome guys third i think would be like that's where you're like i'm nothing second time my dad and my grandfather did shit and i'm a fucking loser who's gonna probably ruin this but you don't think that way i think you might in the back of your head you guys are thinking feelings too much and not just how sweet it would be to never have had to worry about anything yeah but everyone looks at you and they're like oh who cares if you're an asshole you don't know you're an asshole no respect but having everyone look at you and be like you're the rich kid and we're only nice to you because your dad was someone that's that's gotta fuck you up mentally yeah you're right i think you might be right yeah you wouldn't do that you would not like people looking at you and being like you're a joke i'm i'm just saying are y'all talking lives right now are we talking live from birth to to talking about lives right now right now snap your fingers and you're the i'm in that life yeah okay michael b jordan already he's got his award yeah michael b jordan already he's got his award yeah sexy as fuck but i'm being honest i don't think like if you said snap your fingers and you'd be like a 24 year old third generation rich kid i think there would be it would feel like very hollow yeah but dan if you told me uh snap my fingers i can relive my life i get the money i i do what i did and i do okay or i am giving the money at the beginning and i might be an asshole i'm i think i'm rooting for i think i'm picking might be an asshole dad looks at you like you're a failure you did that anyway are we not thinking musician enough what yeah no like john mayer like a guy who like has mastered his craft and now he doesn't really have to work that hard at it yeah he kind of just and he's still john mayer he can just kind of show up fucking shred what about like a mid-level hard for him but like john mayer might be too famous what about a high level uh author of books who has like a like a who are the famous people that really write the every year they're putting out a new novel me pft and dave no no no like a david sedaris no or the who's the woman danielle steel yeah or somebody somebody who's established about tom wolf and just like john grisham once a year writes a book and sells a billion copies i'm clancy nobody knows what they look like nobody cares what they look like they live in their farm in may yeah that's a pretty sick life yeah although you got to produce another book yeah but yeah but like rl stein is he the best life oh my god it's rl you're a buckeye fan you're oh my god is he where's he oh yeah where's he lives columbus oh he gets to live in it oh yeah probably your city is he so alive to the book law what's the book loft he's rl stein a real person yeah yes oh yeah i would have thought he was way old he looks like i think it's rl stein it might be rl stein is it does he have the best life what is rl stein's net worth because his books don't have to be overly complex whatsoever right i was thinking of patterson he's got the best oh my god life it was rl stein the whole i think it's a writer he is good call mark yeah i'd rather be the mole on his forehead than me and greg we did rl stein you're right he hasn't to my knowledge people don't dislike him for anything he's still working but also their kids books and the kids aren't like this book suck right yeah yeah i still think we were naming people who have to do too much work on it yeah here we go here we go jk rowling james patterson's who i was thinking of every year he's pumping out a book he's worth 800 million dollars and nobody knows what he looks like yeah oh nora robert rl though to read those you're right there's something to children because no no child is going to read the book and then go leave her a scathing reviews every every fondly of goosebumps yes right because you're like oh i read that as a kid i liked it i was a huge janet evanovich head for a while she's pretty good really fine is the answer how about that okay we figured it out okay hear me out someone like this tom from myspace invented something huge early on got all his money now he's off the mat off the map he's accomplished now he's chilling super rich i don't think anyone hates him yeah he just kind of hung it up here and there probably a little yeah doesn't have to do too much work on a daily basis what about like a monk who's like uh i'm in nirvana right now constantly every second feels like ejaculation yeah that's no it's probably a good story it's probably rl stein because would writing a kid's horror book be hard no he gets a formula and then he just hits the formula every time because they're not even kind of realistic so you just come up with just like wacky has anybody picked up the mantle because he's 82 yeah this is a huge void for tons of money what if what if a swarm of bees had guns there there it is now you just write that's the kids book well literally that's say cheese and yeah now it's a cheese and dine cheese yeah yeah i still remember like whole story lines all the way through remember the cover the goosebumps actually a little bump yeah that was cool too did you is judy bloom dead oh i hope not she's gotta be she's got 100 beverly cleary just died she's gotta be huh i don't know still going nice good for her still going we lost silverstein young right oh shell i don't know i believe so i believe we lost him yeah damn or we were young yeah rolled dollars we were young when he died so that counts i lost him young lost him yeah what about a children's musician rafi probably cleaning up are we just circling all the way back to miss rachel again yeah it's the best life and her thick ass or like the fourth wiggle yeah he was the purple asian one had to be a good life yeah i mean uh what's his name bloop bloopies like i know that you know he had another man shit on him but other than that that was the old he sold it to a new bloopy like a poop free blippy that you're seeing how much you sell it to this guy for a lot probably no that's old blippy there's a new new blippy the the blippy who shit on the guy or who got shit on is no longer the current blippy okay it's the old the old shit on blippy sold it that guy's got a pretty good life other than getting shit on do you know that rodney dangerfield bought his act no yeah that was he traded acts with a guy wait so he was a cover artist wow like he was a guy that wasn't making it wasn't until i don't think he bought the actual he's like in his 40s and he traded the act uh with somebody else and then he made it big wow gallagher did the same thing with his own brother the watermelon yeah that's i thought i thought he just sold the act when he decided he was done he sold the act to his brother uh right that something like that that's what what do you do just like give him a bunch of watermelons so wait yes when we're done can we sell the yak yeah oh yeah i guess so i guess dave could sell it sell it to a bunch of people be like hey what do you do talk about nothing yeah hop on play some gregs spin the wheel cruise control we're still doing it oh the wheel by the way we should mention because i know people left that the wheel's doing some funny shit what happened what happened the wheel ran in the last gun right yeah the wheel hasn't done funny shit it was four three and dana won by like this like the smallest liver to keep brandon dry oh staying here i don't know shouldn't have to get wet yeah you should it's just very funny the wheel the wheel knows that i'm here to kill it and i will take it out this year not if you're the last one then we restart no we don't yeah we do then i'm off the yak and that's it and i'm going home that's it i'm going fishing oh what happened to that show what show remember the the the fake show we made of you you and your family doing a yeah like duggers i'm going i'm going fishing that's that's it tommy i'm going fishing hit the line did you laugh the first time you heard brad paisley's i'm gonna miss her brandon i left the first 200 times i heard brad paisley's i'm yeah that's me he's a riot when tommy was four years old me and brad paisley's i'm gonna miss her brandon i left the first 200 times i heard brad paisley's and tommy knew we sang that song together oh i gotta check see if he still remembers that song oh you know what did piss me off last night ben metz getting kicked out of fraternity oh we do gotta talk about that steven shay was debuted big mike we were watching us open michelle obama got shown on the screen he didn't hit us with a big mic oh that would have been it brand it was a why does he get so chinese it's i don't know and it just makes me think if like uh michael or got adopted by an asian family see we do the draft kings read yes the wait is over football is here and so is draft kings the drafting sports app is now live in all 50 states that means from texas to california to florida every fan is in on the excitement and this september draft kings is giving coverage to the draft kings sports app and the draft kings sports the opportunity to get boosted every football game day that's right every game day all month long draft kings customers can get a football profit boost one app every sports all 50 states new draft kings customers sign up with code yak yak spend just five bucks get 200 in total rewards within 21 days includes all markets that's code yak yak in partnership with draft kings the crown is yours gambling problem call 1-800 gambler 1-800 my reset connecticut call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org on behalf of boot hill casino in kansas bet tax pass through may apply in illinois 21 and over void in canada bet with draft kings sportsbook to get bonus bets that expire in seven days or trade with draft kings predictions to get predictions dollars that expire in one year event contract trading involves risk of loss predictions offer void in new york non withdrawalable rewards issued as 50 click the claims every seven days for 21 days one single use boost per customer per day expires at the end of the final select game when offered valid for select football transactions on the platform for which it's been issued terms at dkng.co slash offer limited time offer nationwide based on sportsbook predictions and free-to-play sports contest availability varies by state limited time offer nice yeah shame about mincey so i i really i know that mincey is mincey i know that and i've long since given up looking for logic or beating myself up that uh it whatever um he's 43 he makes over a hundred thousand dollars a year that is documented david said it before he makes six figures why can't he just get a hotel why can't he just go online go to holiday inn oxford obviously is sold out for next week but tupelo is an hour away you know batesville is 20 minutes away you're going to be able to find one somewhere in the area just put in uh put in your card number for about 150 bucks you'll probably be able to stay there for the night maybe 300 for the whole weekend and that's done why you're going to be able to find one somewhere in the area just put in uh put in your card number for why is he still dependent on living a life where he has to beg frat boys to sleep on their couch? And we've seen his apartment. It's a nice, nice apartment, but he lives very simply. Pretty minimalist. He's not coming in here wearing fancy clothes. His clothes are free. His meals are free. Is he in crippling debt? Yeah, something has. How often have you said that I could stay at your guest room or on somebody's couch, and I say, no, I'm just going to get a hotel? Yeah, you could have crashed mine. I think you've done it once. I did it one time, and that was it. If I'm visiting a friend, I will get a hotel in their city. 100% of the time. And that's for me. I'm not sleeping on a couch. I'm grown. I can't sleep on a couch. And he prefers to do it. Is he cheap or broke? I think he can't be broke. He just can't be. He can't be broke. Where are you sleeping to get here every day? Huh? Oh, my couch, yeah. That's a little bit different than what I'm talking about. How much are drugs and prostitutes? That's a great question. Why is Menzies trying to beg to sleep on a couch at a frat house in Oxford? Why doesn't he just get him? He makes over $100,000 a year. Why can't he just get a hotel somewhere? I'd rather sleep outside. Are they sold out because of the game? Yeah, I'm sure Oxford is. There's no doubt Oxford. What happened? The president got the green light on us staying there because, you know, Tate and I are both former ATOs. As well as? As well as our brother Ed, Southern Illinois, Eleanor. They just hit a chapter. But I've been requested for a follow-up call today, which. Let's go make a call. I feel like I'm about to get the guillotine. Not good. Ed, what's your role in this? My role in this is just a third-party brother making sure everything is okay. I don't want the chapter to get in trouble. And Menzies is going to do that. Fucking walking hood. Yeah. Such a piece of shit. I don't blame him. I got to be honest. What is his new hair? You know, there's a lot, a lot. When you're president. Let's figure it out. When I was in undergrad, we got into shit ton of trouble, too, so. You weren't president, though. Menzies, let us remember before you. Nice shirt, by the way. Let us remember before you make this call, we are all brothers. Oh, the shirt. Yeah. As well as this guy. Oh, yeah, no. We're all family. Eleanor, man. Eleanor. He's nervous to call a 19-year-old. It's really funny. He's 43. Hey, man. What's up, Peter? How are you? I'm good, man. All right. I got two of our other brothers here. We got Tate, Ohio State. We got Eddie, Southern Illinois. So, we got a little summit here. So, what's going on here? Yeah, unfortunately, I've got some bad news. You guys are not going to be able to stay at the ATL house on the LSU weekend. It was a good idea, I thought. What do we think, Ed? Do you have any real. I mean, trying to keep the peace? What happened? Yeah, what happened? Liability? He's never spoken to the right part of the speakerphone. I get that, because I understand that. Look, all I want is for the success of the ATL Ole Miss chapter. So, I will never put myself above that. And weigh in. Yeah, Peter, just wondering, did this come from the top? Did this come from one smiley? Was this a Board of Trustees issue? What's going on here? It was a little bit of a group decision by everybody. Oh, a little bit of a group decision. They just don't want me to. One of those ideas is out of good and cooler heads prevailed. I will say. I will say, I don't understand not wanting Mince to stay in your house. Camera's filming everything. We'll make sure we come by maybe before Friday lunch or something. Gobbles up all the pussy. Camera's. Yeah, well, we'd like to come by. Mince, where's the pussy? Look, we're all brothers here. We all keep peace. Says, I don't know, with his mouth full. There's no argument. So, what are they going to do now? Get a hotel? Probably have to get a hotel in, like, Tupelo. No, that's got to be, like, his tenth option. Yeah, he's got another place. Fly to Memphis, rent a car, drive to Tupelo, drive to Oxford for the game. Yeah, easy peasy. See, you're thinking like an adult. Yes, that's my fault. The worst part is something amazing is going to pan out for him. Yeah. He's going to be in a mansion, right? He's going to get a penthouse. And then Tate will be there to record the whole thing, and it'll get millions of views. That's the cycle that we're in. Sounds like you don't like the cycle. It is so. That's his. He's 43. Yeah, so? What did he say on the initial phone call? He makes six figures. He hasn't crashed on a frat couch since his mid-thirties. Oh, man. It's been ten years. God. Thought those days were behind. What is his reason for leaving the boot on? It is kind of pissing me off. Does he really think that it's going to correct his walk? Because he's obviously been taking it off. He wants everyone to be like, oh, you hurt your leg. But he's. That thing's coming off for Ole Miss. Yeah, it'll come off. And he's going to be like, look, I'm lava hot. I got my boot off. You had your boot off three weeks ago, dude. But I feel like he's also been spotted with no one around with it on. I feel like he does wear it at home still. You think he's going for the record? He's a moron. Of walking boots? He might have confused himself, Danny. Yeah. Maybe at this point he doesn't remember. Which foot was that? Yeah, what are you supposed to put on the boot? He's just got it laying around. He doesn't know when he's supposed to put it on. It's like Green Goblin's mask. It just ends up on him sometimes. Yeah, I mean, I would imagine him going to the doctor is similar to taking a dog to the vet, where it's very hard to diagnose something when they can't explain to you what's wrong. Yeah. I think outside of the office, though, the boot probably gets him kinder treatment from just the general. Like at a sporting event, this might get him to the front of lines. I still think he could. - He could get. - Yeah, you're right. - I don't know. lines at airports yeah i'd like to see him in two walking boots and those are just his shoes from now on build carson wentz yeah just just do you think he is going on the plane first with that definitely passengers who need a little extra time to board yeah oh me he did he text me mid-show what'd he say if yak oh yeah if yak is slow second hour i got a couple nashville banger stories i mean we gotta hear it is slow second hour it's friday oh yeah let's let's queue up how bad like what what do we think these stories can we were you here they're all sound effects with tj when he just added the laugh track oh we let's all agree to say a number after the story one to ten and we'll have a composite score of how much of a banger or how okay banger the banger banger score all right what do you guys think over under how like composite score what is the be honest though don't be let's be unbiased unbiased in both ways yeah don't yeah if it's a banger we gotta i have to be unbiased nick you have to be unbiased absolutely but i think 3.25 it's never a story he's just gonna say there was a ton of people in line the place was crazy everyone was cheering yeah there's no like beginning middle take yeah let's try to do this let's try to have an experiment where we take out everything we know about mincey and just pretend that a random stranger told you this story yeah okay and uh what would you what would you because there's a there's a funny factor to mincey telling a bad story that we have to remove can we agree to not aid him in telling the story like don't ask him a question no question sit back let him go pretend he's a random stranger when he gets done talking that is the end of the say your number and then we can ask him follow che you're gonna count up all the numbers yes so there's seven of us what if we had him tell the story to somebody totally neutral here and that person came in and told us the story so we can look at it organically click click what's up mincey how you doing all right mincey we want your banger stories how many you got all right give us the first first of all how are we doing hey great good yeah very good yeah all right uh the two nashville ones all right the first one i'm walking over the bridge after the game because the way the titan stadium you like walk over bridge get back to barstool nashville and you know every now and then most of the time you know a lot of heat on social media people are cool in real life well this drunk old miss kid let me be real honest there's a pocket of old miss fans or maybe more than a few pockets that i might drive crazy so this drunk old miss kid just like i don't know sorry i don't know you that well fuck all right well anyway are you famous so a bunch of kids were just like you know i'm taking pictures being friendly doing the deal we just want a thriller i'm in a good mood this one drunk old miss kid i you could just tell in his eyes he'd been waiting for this confrontation for five years just came up to me and just started motherfucking me at a level that i hadn't seen in a long time just like our fan base hates you you're a disgrace to the university just losing his mind on me and i'm just like sitting there like okay like whatever and then it hit me i just looked at him i'm like hey man this is america you're entitled your own opinion and it just shut him down completely he was just like oh he just couldn't believe that's how i responded zero okay really i'd say two and a half it was a pretty wild interaction structure and it shut him down it shut how did he well no no no no no no no no no no no no that's over okay can i give the second one no no hold on we gotta score it two one brandon i'm zoned out for the that's one and a half for me five oh wow i'll say two i'll explain later kate i liked that it was on a bridge for two steven wait what's danny's score 2.5 i like how this kid hated you since high school too that's funny i can just tell he yeah he's waiting for that how old miss was he he looked pretty preppy the long brown hair you know just i mean dude he was i mean dude there was hate in his eyes though i mean it was like was someone filming him no he was just like he saw me with somebody else what's up do you think you were somebody else no he was very sure it was me steven did he have any like zingers or was it just like pure like just pure unadulterated just like i mean just yeah vengeful yeah it was zero uh cumulative score 2.47 all right can you beat 2.7 yes all right okay all right here we go all right the next one the next one okay this is barstool nashville bar uh this is like 1 30 in the morning sunday after the game i'm hanging out in the green room with like a bunch of people just checking out the green room and i'm like oh my jill and uh so apparently this group of beautiful women walk in front of the bar at like 1 30 and i have a friend out there who told me this and he swore it's true because i when he told me the story i'm like there's no way this is true but this one uh woman was just like i want to go in there and make out with minty but i and then he told i found him 30 minutes like the guy 30 minutes later and he's like you're gonna be so pissed you missed this and i was like so that's the start of the story yeah can we go negative what score uh i don't know how there's a problem with this because that kind of stuff yeah it's one that's a one one okay hot hot young woman no apparently which there's no man i ask one question did the bouncer describe the woman it was a brag story that shit but there wasn't a long time it wasn't a middle or end it wasn't a banger it wasn't there wasn't a then what that yeah you said that's the start of the story well yeah whoever that girl is wants to shoot me a dm do it oh and you will make out i mean i'm not i guess all right kate titus kate's dead that's a one let's see uh 0.3 sorry man it's just she wanted to make out with you yeah 8.2 that's what i'm saying yeah this stuff had to happen a long time let's go so you've you've kissed oh yeah i know i know but no no definitely i'm talking about more you fuck like do you guys with tongue yeah have you made out in an elevator in the past year yeah okay it was like a little over here i was like yeah how the fuck do you know that you're in three i ain't loving an elevator uh-huh i mean the only other quick funny thing i thought i did another story no this is no i mean i ripped a hottie toddy with all the legends on stage and i dropped the mic and said hot boy is this a hot boy is this a hot boy is this a hot boy apartment elevator mic drop i thought that was funny it's weirder than hotel zero again all right well sorry to disappoint you no it's okay i'm we're just we're trying to grade these unbiased unbiased like if i appreciate the good rating if i graded you as as a mincey story i would i would give you a higher grade i was doing a completely unbiased if like a stranger came up to me and told me this story i'd be like was the elevator make out for here we got your water apartment what's up yeah what am i adding the mince it was in a it's like a one it was at it was the name of the restaurant uh it was a restaurant elevator what the hell they're like two colors that's just the cheesecake factory it was in cabra the the cabra elevator what's cabra a real good restaurant and what kind of food like peruvian so you just you just face full peruvian food one floor it's like i think it's like in a hotel so it was on the third make out with that wow quick i mean wow huh what are you gonna do you know huh brandon for you i'm just thinking about which story was there anyone else more the story of the guy who doesn't like him really were there other people in the elevator i like the bridge story i'm with kate uh the fact that had a scene yes the bridge the bridge had something guys and at least had this guys the second one a bouncer came up to me was like by the way it wasn't a bouncer it was a friend of mine oh front of you that was a friend yeah but what are the chances the friend was lying no i i didn't believe him at all so you asked if you're lying to me no i was like your phone call uh okay i don't have his number how is he your friend i can get his number i think we were hoping for more though i think it was i understood as the bones you get told that she wanted to make out so then i go back i can get that i'll get his number i can get his number back to the bridge story when you when the kid berated you and i mean motherfucker oh he really motherfucked me and then you said hey buddy this is america you can have that opinion was there another group of people around oh yeah oh no but they're just kind of like they were but there was like five of them people and they were like oh he didn't go like four but it disarmed the guy oh but it was just fun the way the guy got disarmed he was and then did he just walk away he's like oh he just couldn't believe i responded like yeah did he did his shoulders sag as he walked away how was i mean he was like a little like it kind of hit him like oh man he might hate my content but maybe i'm not the worst person that he thought and you don't think he'll treat the next the next mincey like that i mean if he's drunk after a football game and party in nashville he's probably letting it you know i know they let it fly down there yeah big weekend though we had a we had a line two blocks out the broadway at 1 30 p.m on sunday i know barstool nashville makes a lot of money but they were there super ecstatic about what went down in there they were very they're very very happy how hard did you try getting the girl to come back to the bar so i didn't even know about this until i was walking out of there at 2 30 so it was already she's already gone that was why i was a bum what kind of friend is that i know that's what i told him i'm like dude you knew where i was come get me and would you have done it like i would have met her did she say it to him or he overheard her talking to her friends no he overheard her talking to her friends did you search her on facebook or anything i don't i don't know a name i don't know anything that's what i'm saying that's what i just said dm me you know all right what are you gonna do you know sorry to let y'all down i thought those are no i thought those are both pretty funny uh interactions maybe a hype funny or do they make you look like the fucking man i don't know the dude well that is funny that's a good point yeah there we go yeah there we go but yeah for the record i thought it was funny i was just creating on like a story we were trying to create as unbiased as possible guys i like the bridge story i i thought the bridge story because i can see the old miss kid because i'm all just a bunch of assholes just running up thinking he's doing something and you just disarm yeah i did he didn't know how to react i'm shocked like his boys weren't filming it well the other guys he was solo and the other guys that i was with were kind of like what's this dude doing i'm just like whatever man i got a lot of people that hate me saint knows to me i do love that about you mincy doesn't bother you doesn't bother me yeah uh what what's update on lsu we'll miss all right so you know i i i'm wanting to take it to the streets the people like go back to college yep what brandon twist you it seems like you don't know what take it to the streets means you make so much money why can't you just get a hotel yeah where does your see these rooms where does your money go where does your money go can we do a budget day yeah what's too much where does your money go well okay so i live in a very nice building so one of my two paychecks literally goes to my rent and bills but it's worth it because i'm 43 and i want a nice place to live like i have no regrets on that i've moved around and lived all over the place so that's kind of a thing of pride at this age yep so that gets like one of them um i like to travel but it's all economical all my traveling's like maneuvering that's the whole point right but why do you maneuver so much because you see the lifestyle i somehow try to pull off i mean i make pretty good money but like i mean i feel like i you know you would think i make more judging by how much i travel and how much i do so it's all like economical all right maneuvering let's see so so when is that economical maneuvering no it's what it is like the panic the panic thing is totally like can i do these three night panic runs for a thousand bucks that is what it is yeah you can stay at the graduate in oxford next weekend for 1600 dollars a night that one's probably out yes okay definitely out all right uh looks like everything else but again you just go to tupelo and spend a hundred dollars but if i have to go to tupelo then we have to rent a car and get to tupelo and they're not in oxford to get the content i gotta stay in oxford you can drive the car to the streets brandon he's gotta take it to the streets so the streets being students at all we're figuring it out but i've got irons in the fire and i'm more than the magnolia lodge next weekend five hundred dollars a night what's the magnolia lodge i don't know says the magnolia lodge it's a house with three bedrooms three bathrooms sleep i looked that up that sounds lovely 500 i could do did you end up booking your next appointment before your next trip uh so i have to go get a ct scan out in orland park on my ankle tomorrow morning i jumped the gun on the celebration i guess because i felt fine but uh i went wednesday i was there she took those x-rays now she's saying i gotta get the ct scan and then i gotta go back wednesday brandon uh how does your ct scan out in orland park in orland park what's your ct scan out in orland park what's your ct scan out in orland park what's your ct scan out in orland park what's your ct scan out in orland park what's your ct scan out in orland park what's your ct scan out in orland park what's your ct scan out in orland park what's your ct scan out in orland park what's your ct scan out in orland park what's your ct scan out in orland park what's your ct scan out in orland park what's your ct scan out in orland park what's your ct scan out in orland park what's your ct scan out in orland park what's your ct scan out in orland park what's your ct scan out in orland park what's your ct scan out in orland park what's will no that's the point don't you don't have to stop no no no if somebody has a baby's crib if someone has a baby's crib i will pay i will pay for mincy to stay there that's gonna be a pretty damn big crib you'll have to be in the crib sleep and then they have to give you a bonnet i will pay for the bonnet mincy your man no stop free trip think about him sleeping in a crib economical maneuvering well they have like the camera and the yes and every time mincy stirs i got a bunch of friends and babies i bet i can make this happen the friends with babies don't want you in their crib they want the baby in the crib you need a friend with what do you do with the baby that's a good point mincy steals the covers from the ask your friends if they've had any tragedy homies have some real dark shit it's gonna be a big weekend are you open to stay at the house of anyone of from any creed or i'm down for whatever man you know i'm just i'm excited just as long as it's free stay with i mean like that stay with like gay couple that fucks i don't have a problem with that that's their life you know but it's a bunk bed your bottom bunk they're fucking on the top that's probably i'd rather pay the 500 a night okay where are you flying into it's homophobic you're flying to memphis you get your hotel in senatobia 30 minute ride bang bing bang boom yeah could do that we got i've got my air we got the airport rod lined up why don't you rent like uh airport right why don't you rent no that's big dude the airport ride's big because we're flight out at 6 45 sunday morning to get back friend we're in a car 4 30 in the morning why don't you get a like camper van i hadn't thought about that i like that idea a lot you and tate in a camper van all he's gonna do is try to find a friend with a camper van now would be awesome i'm open to anything i'm excited i'm excited to get there just buying yourself a hotel what's the most you've spent on a trip that you remember what was the trip that you took that that almost broke you financially without being able to expense anything i spent a lot when i went to the super bowl and the saints play the colts uh but that was worth it because the saint super bowl i mean i think i had like 7k to my name and i spent four grand on it wow but who cares because it's a life once in a lifetime memory yeah all right have you ever considered that your friends your dear friends that let you stay at the places still care about you still do it because they're your friends but maybe you're you're putting them out a little bit i've i have and i've because every time they ask i'm just like are you sure like i don't want to cause a strain i like re but they still may be lying to you do you have do you have a savings account do you have savings yeah not it's not very loaded up though but yeah i do have a savings account good like how long could you live if you didn't have this job on your savings probably three to six months not great all right three months that's not terrible i've been doing the 401k the whole time here so at least that's good that's good it's a great great barstool benefit yeah amazing okay well good luck mincy thank you um but the line flipped from uh old miss by one and a half to lsu by two and a half yeah because they're way better than y'all are i still count i'm excited count us out we'll see yeah count them out count the reps out do you think lane saw your defense play and is pretty excited i'm sure he is but we'll make some adjustments we got talent are you gonna boo lane yes but what if it's like mincy meet me oh the ticket situation but lane lane is possible for your happiest years of your life he is but i can't cheer for him this weekend i can't well there's not cheering for him then there's booing i'm gonna boo oh we're gonna oh fuck yeah lane's not watching i know lane i know i don't know how he's gonna be able to sleep at night knowing that he's gonna boo yeah i know that's gonna be what were you gonna say you had something loaded up oh yeah we're figuring it out i might have a buddy that bought i gotta do what uh what uh true rebel fan here a buddy bought 60 of the lsu tickets just to give the old miss people so the lsu fans wouldn't be in there your buddy sounds like a huge fucking loser your buddy sounds like a huge fucking loser oh my lord god damn no that's a huge loser use your last time out brandon your buddy brandon's the one who said wow all right say a slur tj can you play the tape nick why is it always you yes uh by the way we'll do uh mincy you are dismissed okay y'all have a lovely weekend luck care mincy uh reese's there's something for everyone when it comes to reese's uh we love reese's the one one of candy it is the absolute best if you get a mount rushmore of candy it would be reese's peanut butter cups the oreo ones are incredible we get the reese's lounge upstairs reese's sticks also my go-to we love reese's they are like uh the indiana 20 20 20 25 indiana hoosiers of candy wow undefeated wow undefeated national of candy reese's the official candy partner barstool sports go get reese's wherever you shop we love reese's i don't think you guys got the second story yeah what it was I feel like the second story was just a brag. Only designed to make him look good. All are. And he nailed it. It was the beginning of the story. Right. There was no end. And he was just. His friend lied to him. You know, I'd be curious to see these people who he asked to stay at their house for multiple days. He calls them their buddies, but, like, how close? Because he didn't have that friend's number. Has he not seen him in, like, 20 years? That's got to be. But whenever you ask his. What's your ticket situation? What's your living situation? How are you getting there? It's always, my buddy this. Mm-hmm. Yeah. But I think my buddy. I want to be a grown man. I want to get. I might let them expense a camper van. Because that would be. You're not getting that security deposit back. Awesome. Them staying in a Walmart parking lot. Mincy is. Oh, Brandon. Would they have to drive from here? There's an RV lot. There's an RV lot? Yeah, at every SEC school, there's an RV. That would be sick. But they probably. They're probably full, so they would have to stay, like, a state. Park. Great. I don't know. State park. Yeah. For what it's worth, Mincy would hate that. Mincy. He would hate that. Hates driving. Hates. Yeah. I mean, he could just stay in Memphis. Or can he just stay with people who go there who aren't in a frat? If you were a college kid, you and your boys, got together, you would want him to stay in that place, right? You've got to get Mincy to your apartment. Yeah, you've got to get Mincy to the frat house. I don't know what that frat house is doing. There's, like, a. If you let Mincy stay at your house, there's, like, a 10% chance. That you get a job. That's what I'm saying. We've got to let this dude crash in our apartment. It's a no-brainer. I have no idea why that frat house would be like, oh, no, you can't stay here. You're serious? It's got to be the filming thing. Yeah, right. Just tell him not to film in there. But, like, some senior who has an apartment with his boys. Right. Like, here's a couch, Mincy. That would be the most exciting weekend of my life. Yeah. Reach out to Tate. Like, Ben Mince? I don't know. Reach out to Mincy, not Tate. Maybe I've got to stop being such a fan. You're a fangirling right now. Yeah. TJ, did that guy join or no? Hello? Oh! It's the guy who caught the ball. Oh! Dude. Hi. What's your name? My name is Joe. How we doing? Joe. So, we were talking about it. That was the coolest moment of all time. Are you still living off that high? Yeah. It feels like it's not going away. So, it's pretty awesome. We actually just went to the game yesterday. The Sox had us out. So, pretty cool. Fuck yes. Yeah. What? Yeah? Did your mind just go blank and it just happened to land in your hand? Or were you trying to get that? We were walking down. There's, like, a bar underneath right field. And we were just walking down the steps. And I saw Coulson swinging. And I was like, I'm going to stop for a second. And then he smacked it right at me. And I was like, oh, shit. This is coming right at me. And then I just. It's your reaction. Your reaction was the best part. Like, obviously the catch, but the reaction. Dude. How quickly did your phone start blowing up? Like, a few minutes after. I turned to my friends and my wife. And I was like, do you think that's going to go viral? Like, that was pretty sick. Yeah. That was pretty sick, right? I was getting texts and calls like crazy. That was pretty sick. Now, did you. When the ball's coming at you, were you thinking. You never thought, like, two hands? No. Because, I mean, I play baseball. So, like, I normally catch it with my left hand. Right. Yeah. But with a glove. Yeah. But, yeah, that's my catching hand, I guess. Did it hurt? Surprisingly, not at all. Oh. What a badass. Man. I think that's all the questions we have. We honestly were just like. That guy's the coolest guy ever. That must have been the coolest moment. Like, one, one adult moment you could have. Yeah, pretty sick. Should I. Can I plug my TikTok account so I can. I play men's league and I hit bombs, so. Oh, fuck yes. Uh-oh. Yes. I have two videos on there. We're going to watch you hit bombs. What is it? Please tell us what it is. Yep. It's Sloppy Joe with three P's and three Y's. Okay. Sloppy Joe with three P's and three Y's. And wait. You cut out. You said you hit bombs? I try to, yeah. Nice. Fuck yeah. 16 inch? No, just men's league baseball. Oh. Oh. Oh. Sloppy Joe. How fast are guys pitching? Like 70 to 80. Oh, you're fucking putting that on the moon. Yeah, exactly. We have like two videos. All right. We're watching it. Oh. Oh, yeah. Good sound. Oh, look at that walk, too. Sloppy Joe. Oh, you're a beast. Wait, what were you yelling? Was everybody yelling? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, you got to walk down. I love the shit talk. Yeah, we. I love that the crowd is just like. Oh. Oh, my God. That would have been your fucking breakfast. Something in your breakfast. What was in your breakfast? Yeah. Yeah. What was in your fucking breakfast? Yeah, I was trying to. I wish I could have done batting practice. We were at the Sox game. They like let us come out for batting practice. And I was like, that'd be sick. They let me. Hop in. But Steve, why not? We got it. Yeah, we got to get you into batting practice. We can get sick. But yeah, well. Thanks, Joe. Yeah. Get back to your podcast. Appreciate you guys having me on. Yeah, absolutely. Thanks, Joe. You're the man. Joe. Yeah. See you. Dude, he talked to you guys. Yeah, it's bombs. Yeah, he does. That sound of that first one was played again. I thought he was plugging like he does content or no. There's just two videos. Oh, no. I just wanted to show his balls. I also want to say like our entire discussion. That might be the guy like the best life. Like just like kind of anonymous, but hits bombs on the weekend. Caught a home run. Yeah. His boys are like, oh, my God. That feeling like put together guy has a wife. Super reserved. It's a cool guy. Wouldn't be like, yeah, that was fucking sick. Right. I can't believe I did that. Right. He might have won one life. It's like, what are you doing this weekend, Joe? I don't know. I'm probably going to get a couple bombs. I'm trying to get the footage from. Yeah, we got three videos of this guy. Fucking manager of the field. All three of them are just the best. Awesome. Yeah. Bombs. Did you guys see Roquan Smith's quote where he said that he was like, our offense is set up. We can like run or we can throw it like we're going to go bombs over Baghdad with them. And then he clarified the quote and he was like, just so we're clear. I'm not talking about outcasts. I'm talking about the war. Yeah. Roquan Smith said Lamar Jackson, the Ravens office can beat defenses with their run game or go bombs over Baghdad. He later clarified he was referencing military history, not outcast war. I'm talking about actual war people. Talking about lives lost. Not the song. We're not talking about lives lost. We're talking about death. We're talking about innocent death. We're talking about thousands of casualties. We're not talking about music. No. Catchy song. Innocent lives. Talking about a wedding party. Talking about children's explodes. Getting destroyed. Talking about civilian death. Jake Magan might have just saved a woman's life at the game. He had a catch on foul territory. It was about to hit a woman's head. And he made a great catch. Highlight play. Sweet. Cubs have to win. They have to win. We're in must win territory. Well, the Pirates literally can't lose again. The Cubs have to start winning games. The Cubs have to start winning games now for my mental health. And, Titus, we're at the point now where we're not going to get any home playoff games. We might not even be in the playoff. Octically. Might not. I've started to. I've been, like, laughing when anyone's like, well, they're not going to make the playoffs. Like, yeah, right. Now I'm starting to be like, wait a second. That could happen. Yeah. 1-1, Tide. They're not. The Cubs are really, really, really fucking good at baseball. They just don't win. Well, no. They're really good. They're good at baseball outside of pitching a baseball. Yeah. They're good at. Which is a big part of baseball. They're really, really good at. Hitting. Hitting. Defense. Base running. But throwing the ball to the catcher. They're really, really fucking good at baseball. They just don't win the games. Yeah. That's pretty frustrating. Very. All right. Let's spin the wheel. Good show, guys. See you every Monday. Tune in. Brandon and I will be in Ann Arbor. We will be doing the Barstool College Football Show. Then. A big noon right after that. Have fun. You get ice cream tonight? Good. If we get there in time. Yeah. Mostly sports video with Nick and KB and Che as well in it. Hour and 20 minute video. Premiering immediately after this. Yeah. Love it. It was a fun one. It was really fun. Love it. Dry. Here we go. All right. Here we go. Thank you. ♪ I'm the talk shopper do a Yankee slob ♪ Hey, we're about to kick you over to the Mostly Sports Scavenger Hunt. It's a fun one. Hour and 20 take you into the weekend. All right, see you Monday. Love you guys.