We make Ken Jennings relive the worst moment of his life

[MUSIC] >> From NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is Weight, Weight. They'll tell me the NPR news quiz. Can't afford $6 gas. This voice is pure diesel. [APPLAUSE] >> I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker, Theater in the Fine Arts building in Chicago, Illinois. Peter Segal. >> Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much. We have a wonderful show for you today. Later on, we're going to be talking to the host of Jeopardy, and of course, still the record holder for consecutive wins on that show, Ken Jennings. We assume he being who he is. He will easily win our quiz. Then next week, be our guest again, and we'll be for the next 74 episodes of Weight, Weight, Downtown Me. You do not have to answer in the form of a question. For us, just give us a call. The number is one triple eight, wait, wait. That's 1-888-9248-924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Weight, Weight, Downtown Me. >> Hi, this is Veronica Brooks-Wee from Raleigh, North Carolina. >> How are things down there in Raleigh? >> You know, pretty Raleigh-ish. >> Raleigh-ish. What do you do there? >> So I actually work for a national nonprofit. I'm the senior vice president of research and policy. >> Oh, that's cool. So that's a thoughtful intellectual job, yeah? >> That was a thoughtful intellectual noise. >> Well, Veronica, welcome to our show. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First, you can see her co-hosting her show, Franken Baby, at Union Hall in Brooklyn on May 18th. It's Joel Nicole Johnson. >> Hello, Veronica. >> Next, he's a humorist and the founder of Hatch Space Community, woodworking shop, now taking applications for their fall furniture making intensive in Brattleboro Vermont. It's Tom Baudette- >> Hello, Veronica. >> And finally, a contributor to CBS Sunday morning. It's Faith Saley. >> Hey, Veronica. >> So Veronica, welcome to the show. You, of course, are going to play Who's Bill, this time Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose for your voice mail. Are you ready to go? >> This is a dream come true. >> So, yes. >> Well, that's exciting. >> All right, here is your first quote. It's a text someone sent his fiance as he headed into quarantine after finally getting off his cruise ship. >> I've never been so excited to go to Nebraska. >> That was one of the cruise ship passengers now quarantining in Nebraska after being exposed to what? >> Ooh, is that the antivirus? >> Yeah, the antivirus, yes. >> [APPLAUSE] >> That passenger, by the way, who was exposed, was given the option of going home to Boston, where his fiance who he was texting lives to isolate there, but instead chose to isolate for 43 days in Nebraska. [LAUGHTER] If anyone here present knows any reason why these two shall not be married. [LAUGHTER] >> They call it ship board romance. >> This outbreak of this virus happened on not one of those big carnival cruise types ships, but on a luxury adventure cruise was costs about $12,000 a ticket. But you'll be glad to know this. The cruise company that operates it had heavily discounted all future cruises this year. That's true. It's the experience of the end of a lifetime. [LAUGHTER] >> Well, I mean, it's really-- it's in keeping-- these are adventurous people that got a lot of money, but they also-- they really wanted to do something off the map. And you come home with like a really exotic disease. That's like old school. >> Yeah. >> Everybody-- if you didn't come back from the tropics with malaria-- >> Yeah, exactly. >> You weren't there, right? >> Yeah, I mean, you pay that-- you pay a premium price. You've got a premium disease. One-- this is true. One passenger on the cruise disembarked before showing symptoms on this tiny island in the South Atlantic. So authorities-- really true-- had to parachute in medical supplies and doctors to care for him. And my question is that the doctors know how exactly they were getting there, right? This physician you told to do this thing, you're like, hey, guys, when do we land? And why are you opening the door? [LAUGHTER] >> Your next quote is from President Trump. >> I told people who've done swimming pool as for me in the past. Do me a favor, please. Trump was talking about his renovations of what Washington, D.C. landmark. >> Is it the reflecting pool? >> It is the reflecting pool. Very good. [APPLAUSE] >> President Trump said he decided to paint the reflecting pool on the National Mall blue. And he says it's because the pools at all his properties are blue. OK, that's fine. But the big water slide and the swim up bar a bit much. >> I think it's the irony that he's messing with the reflecting pool. This is a man who is incapable of reflection. Well, I mean, you had to get credit. There's no denying that the reflecting pool just wasn't working. Every time Trump looked into it, he saw an old man who had just grabbed his pants. [LAUGHTER] >> I've been relating to some of this. I've had a pool at our house since the boys were little. And they're grown and gone. And I'm taking it out this year. So I've been out there trying to dismantling things. And I'm enjoying it because I've been taking care of that freaking pool for 15 years. And just like Trump's frustration, they leak. And it'll go out there in the morning and all of a sudden, oh, it's green, what? And so I knew a guy. >> I knew a guy. >> I knew a guy. >> Yep, I love that. That's a very unrelated rant, Tom. I love you. >> Yeah. [LAUGHTER] >> What trial are you saying you've never gone out to gay as upon your property and decided to make greater changes? >> Yeah, is that how that removed it no longer pleases me? >> Take somebody's extra houses down. What's going on? >> I'm not used to being bougie. And I really was just then, wasn't I? >> You really were, huh? >> I like that. >> I made it. >> It's a new time. You're not leaving the light on anymore. >> Yeah. >> I'm going to state how to eat it. [LAUGHTER] >> All right, here is your last quote. It's from a commenter on the New York Times website. >> I do it every day. I'm not interested in watching it on TV. >> That person was responding to news that what New York Times game is being made into a prime time NBC game show? >> Well, I know this, because I am probably going to apply. It's Wordl. >> It is Wordl. >> Well, this is very exciting. Have you ever had a coworker talk to you about his Wordl score until your eyes glaze over? Well, that's a TV show now. [LAUGHTER] I don't know if this is going to work. I enjoy playing Wordl. Fine, the only time I want to watch someone else play Wordl is when the dumbest guy in the plane is doing it in front of me. How is your first guest, Goose? >> You know, this is just the feel good show we need in 2022. >> Yes, exactly. >> Is this like what? Like who talks about Wordl anymore? >> No, you're right. Between the new pandemic and Wordl, it has been a huge week for things I was already tired of five years ago. If they really want to capture the essence of Wordl, the way people play it, all the TV contestants should have to play while sitting on toilets. >> That's right. >> It's so true. >> God, this reminds me when I walked down to my son and he was a teenager and he was watching people play video games on his video game. >> Yes. >> That's a thing that people do. >> Right. And so what are you doing? He says, I'm watching these guys play this game. It's amazing. I said, I was upset because you played too much video game. And now you're just watching other people play video games. >> Yeah, no, you learn a lot. >> Yeah. My boyfriend does that. He watches his friends play video games. And that's how I know he'll never cheat on me. >> [APPLAUSE] >> Bill, how did Veronica do in our quiz? >> Her word is perfect. >> [APPLAUSE] >> Few extra letters there. >> Yeah, you know, 75% of you just said wouldn't work, seven-letter word. Congratulations, Veronica. Thank you so much for playing. Thank you for having me. >> Terrific, take care. [APPLAUSE] [MUSIC] >> Right now, a panel that is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Tom, this week, a court in Australia dismissed the claim of a supermarket employee who said his employers had no right to tell him to cover up what? >> Hmm. [LAUGHTER] >> Yeah, no right to tell him to cover up. That's pretty, I'm not even going to need a hand. I don't even want to start guessing. >> In Australian civil rights law, people with sagging pants are not a protected class. Oh my God, they're butt crack. Exactly right. He sued because he felt that his employer should not be allowed to tell him to cover up his plumber's crack. He believed it was rude for his supervised the supermarket to tell him to do that, to cover up what in Australia. It was also known as the bum crack. This was the fifth time he had brought that claim only to be again dismissed. Man, the things some men will do to avoid buying a belt. No. OK, now to the men on the stage. Yes. Y'all don't feel that? I'm sorry. Like when your booty crack is out to the men in the crowd. I'm asking for real. I feel that. You feel it? I do not show my bum crack. Oh, yeah. But you know, women get to show their upper cleavage. So maybe it's male cleavage. Maybe it's like here. Take a little peek. It didn't. Take a little sexy peek. You're right. You're right. I mean, in a weird way, it's like cleavage. It's like you should do that. Like with what society did with cleavage, you take it from being a point of shame to a sign of sexiness. Don't cover it up. Let's get some of those good looking plumbers into something with a plunging crack line. It's never a booty crack you want to seat out. No. It really is. It's just never. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, Michael B. Jordan, Nate Navajo here with his cleavage. Yeah. Coming up. Grab your snorkel. We're headed to the beach. And our bluff, the listener game call. One triple eight. Wait, wait, wait. We'll be back in a minute with more. Wait, wait, wait. Don't tell me from NPR. From NPR, WBEZ Chicago, this is Weight Wakes. Don't tell me the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Tom Bode. That joy, El Nicole Johnson and Faith Saley. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago, Illinois. Peter Segal. Thank you, Bill. Right now it's time for the Weight Wakes. Don't tell me. Bluff the listener game call. One triple eight. Wait, wait. To play our game on the air. How you are on Weight Wakes. Don't tell me. Hi. My name is Lauren White. And I'm calling from Provo, Utah. Provo, Utah. One of the most beautiful places there is in this country. I'm currently a student for wildlife rehabilitation. And then I just do it on the side. OK, all right. And you say you do wildlife rehabilitation. Do you have a particular favorite kind of wildlife? Bad Eard Fox. The Bad Eard Fox. I will say that you sound adorable. But you are so adorable. I wish you saw the African works with them. They are so cute. They're very cute. So basically you're sort of ranked wildlife by cuteness like the rest of us do. Yes, of course. OK. Glad to know that professionals are also just a shallow. OK, great. Yeah. Lauren, it's great to have you with us. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Lauren's topic? A day at the beach. Ah, the beach. Where every year millions of vacationers go to discover they can get sand and crevices in their body. They did not know they had. This week an unusual beach story made the news. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth. You'll win the weight weighter of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play? Yes. OK. First off, let's hear from Joy Ellen Nicole Johnson. A lot of couples dream of their wedding day. Those with a penchant for summer envisioned exchanging nuptials on the beach with the sun shining, waves crashing and the songs of Seagull Squawkin. Marissa Bramwell and her fiance, Java Coleman, were getting married on Whitby Island in Washington state when they were interrupted by the least romantic sound ever. The deep grotesque screeching of a beach gray whale. Luckily for beach boy, the bride, groom, and half the wedding party were marine biologists. Well, dressed in gowns and tuxedos, they jumped into action. Marissa and her maid of honor kept the whale cool and wet while Javon, his best man, climbed the top and protected the blowhole with his wife's veil. When the high tide finally came in, they were able to see the whale whom they lovingly named Jonah float off into the sunset while they finished their nuptials soaking wet and covered in sand. Of the mishap turn heroic situation, Marissa said, "The only thing that would have made this better is a harem of seals clapping as I'd kiss my groom." A beach wedding interrupted by a beached whale. Your next beach bit comes from Tom Baudet. Last Tuesday, fashion brand commas held its Australian fashion week show on Sydney's Tamarama Beach. The brand is known for its "effortless silhouettes and aesthetic blends of 1950s European beachwear with modern Australian seaside culture." What they hadn't quite counted on was modern Australian seaside culture crashing their show in the form of a local man ambling onto the beach for his morning swim. The man's unabashed stage for dad bod and relaxed arm whirling stood in stark contrast to the severe looking models who started by displaying no excess movement or body hair for that matter. Australia's today show, which would be America's tomorrow show, interviewed the man identified as David, who has been taking his morning swim at Tamarama Beach for 30 years and saw no reason not to do it again on Tuesday. And speaking for the low spark of high cholesterol dads everywhere, this is awesome. (Laughter and applause) The farmer goes to the beach in Australia and ends up in the middle of a fashion show. Your last short story comes from Faith Saley. When a dozen octogenarian French ladies gathered for their sunrise yoga class on the Normandy beach last week, they did not expect that striking a warrior pose would thrust them into battle. But just as they were starting sunsalutations at 0600 hours, 75 Allied soldiers landed on the shore. The D. Day re-enactors club had arrived from Ohio. (Laughter) Startled to see the little old ladies, one officer tackled a grandma to save her from an invisible mine planted by imaginary Nazis, yelling in his best high school French, "Excuse me more, sir la plage!" One infantry man decided to become a conscientious objector and fell into child's pose. Because this was a French beach, several of the aged ladies were topless, which came as a shock to the fresh-faced American GI's. Several troops stopped in their tracks until a sergeant yelled, "Move it boys, we've got the bigger bazookas!" (Laughter) All right, one of these things unexpectedly occurred on a beach. Was it from Joel Nicole Johnson? A beach wedding getting interrupted by a beached whale, who unfortunately for him, or it, the wedding was a marine biologist. From Tombow Dad, a dad-bod swimmer guy walks down to the beach to go swimming and finds himself right in the middle of a fashion show runway, or from Faith Saley, a yoga class on the beach in Normandy, France, gets invaded by D. Day re-enactors. Which of these was the real story of a surprising day at the beach? I think I'm going to go with Tom's story, the David going on to the fashion week. You're going to go for the swimmer in Australia who walked down and found himself standing amid all the models on the beach in Australia. Well, we have to bring you the correct answer, the actual beach gorer. I have to say, an apology to the fashion designer, when I look to the public, she says, "Yes, they are still the model." And I suddenly went, "I'm the lead model." That was David Handley talking to Australia today about his accidental modeling debut. Congratulations, Lauren. You got it right. You're in the point for Tom, and you've won our prize, the voice of your choice on your voicemail. Thank you, Lauren. Thank you so much. [Music] And now the game where people who've done a lot do a little more. About 20 years ago, we were delighted to welcome to our show Ken Jennings, who had just set a record for winning on Jeopardy that still stands today. Then, a few years later, we were joined by Ken Jennings, best-selling author. Today, we are thrilled to welcome Ken Jennings, the host of Jeopardy. I wonder if these guys know each other. Ken Jennings, welcome back to "Wait, Wait, don't tell me." Thank you for having all three of us back on here. It's a pleasure. So, as you know, Ken, as I may have mentioned bitterly a number of times, when we've spoken, I myself was on Jeopardy many, many years ago. I did not do as well as you. But one of my memories was during lunch, I sat near Alex Quebec, the legendary host. And I heard him telling his producers, you know, nobody understands. This is the hardest job in show business. Now that you are in the host's chair or podium on Jeopardy, do you agree? Well, of course, it always flatters the person in the job to point out how hard it is. Yes. But I will absolutely back up Alex here. I mean, during the, after he passed away, sadly, you know, during that guest hosting rotation, we had a lot of broadcasters who had done everything. We had people who had reported from war zones. And to a person, they all said, wow, this, um, this game moves really fast. And that don't mean to imply that a trivia quiz show is as important as being in a war zone, but there is a unique skill set, and Alex was amazing at it, and I don't have anywhere near his level of grace or a riz, but I'm going to try. Now we heard that during that period, as you say, when many people were trying, they tried a lot of people as the host of Jeopardy, that they went through training to do it. Did you, is there Jeopardy host training? There is Jeopardy boot camp, the Jeopardy writers, the people who write the clues impersonate Jeopardy contestants, just to put in three or paces, and at first they impersonate well-behaved Jeopardy contestants, doing the things we expect. Sure. As your difficulty level grows, they impersonate increasingly unruly and disobedient Jeopardy contestants, just as the host would do. Really? So can you, can you give me some of the simulations? Just the little niceties of Jeopardy start going on observed, because a lot of these are related to rules. You know, we're a serious game, Peter. I'm not saying that not my job is not a very serious segment, but you can't Jeopardy seriously. Yeah, you know, well, we have, okay, fun. Can you, so you've been doing it for a while, have, has anybody sworn audibly after screwing something up? I feel confident that Jeopardy has violated the George Carlin rule on a few occasions. That was just me. No. I remember when I was on, I think I said all seven at once after one question. You obviously, because of your extraordinary success, as a contestant must have aspired to be a contestant for a while before you went on the show. Did you also ever want to be the host? No. But over the years, many people would ask me, hey, clearly, if Alex were ever to retire, you'd be on the shortlist, and I would just laugh at them. No, no, no, no. That would be a very outside-the-box kind of a Willy Wonka way to run a game show, if you invited back the lucky little boy and gave him the factory. Nobody's going to do that in TV, but it turns out Jeopardy is kind of its own little institution and it runs by its own rules. Yeah. And there you are. Apparently, if you are the champion, they make you the host. Everybody who watches Jeopardy knows that after the first commercial break, when we come back, the host, now you, used to be Alex, comes over and talks to the panelists. Is that as difficult as it looks? It's hard for the contestants. I actually really enjoy it. That was always the part of the show that I thought was a little bit cringy even as a kid. I sometimes have to leave the room during a boring story. Like, it's like Jeopardy stops for a second and curvy enthusiasm begins. Yes. That's why the theme song changes just at that moment. The tuba comes in. So I worked very hard on making that a little more engaging. And the fact is, Peter, I've gone my whole life trying to get out of conversations with you in 20 seconds. So, like, I was made for this. Famously, I believe this is famous that when you did your amazing run of 70 poor shows after the first, I don't know, 20. You ran out of interesting things to say about yourself. You were a young man. You had only done so much. So that you just started making stuff up to talk about with Alex. Is that right? I ran out of ideas very early on. Like, if you see my fourth game, it's getting a little. The anecdotes are a little bit. And but what I found out is nobody fact checks these, you know what I'm saying? At Yorker's staff, Peter, you shouldn't say you have a purple heart, but if you tell us you were a birthday clown, we are not going to link to that. Right. Yes. I was watching Celebrity Jeopardy where I expected, because I know some celebrities, the questions to be a little easier. I was very impressed. The celebrities have gotten good. Do you think so? I feel like the celebrities don't get enough credit. I think generally people assume, I think because of the wheelchair sketches, people assume Celebrity Jeopardy is a cake lock where it's like states that rhyme with "Schnelloen." Right. And as a result, I think they don't give the celebrities enough credit, certainly we want them to play well. We know they're playing for charity. It depends on the category. If it's showbiz, you can ask celebs, harder questions, perhaps, than civilians. Right. So I might depend on the category. Yeah. But it was like working for a living for real. That. Yeah. Take not having an assistant for someone. Can't is there any plans for like a dumb ass jeopardy? Do I have a request? I was going to say, "Well, you know that show already airs and it's called, and then I realized I would get in trouble." So I was like, "Okay. Oh my God." Well, Ken Jennings, it is always a pleasure to have you with us. This time, we have asked you here to play a game we're calling, "What is H&R Block?" Yeah. As some people may remember, your jeopardy win streak ended with a question about H&R Block. We're going to ask you three questions about that tax preparation firm. By the way, I've listened to not my job so many times over the years, I can't wait. Is this the first time you're ever asking the guest about the single most traumatic thing that's ever happened? Alright, if you've answered two or three questions about H&R Block, you will win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is the legendary Ken Jennings playing for? Bonnie Powers of the other Virginia. Alright. Here's your first question, Ken. H&R Block was originally a bookkeeping business called the United Business Company, founded by Henry Block and his brother. His brother went back to law school and Henry took out a help wanted ad, which was answered by whom? A, the former head of the IRS under President Truman, who had just been fired by President Eisenhower, B, his mother, who told him he should hire his other brother, or C, no one, so Henry just invented someone with the initial R, so people would think the company wasn't just him. Wow. I'm going to guess B, his other brother? You're right. That's what happened. But he didn't praise it as a question. He doesn't have to. He's off duty. Alright. Here's your next question. H&R Block is obviously known for their tax work, but they have another surprising source of revenue. What is it? A, their majority owners of America's largest chain of Halloween haunted houses. B, they own the copyright for the GIF animated file format, or C, they own the rights to the entire recorded music catalog of Parliament Funkadelic. I'm going to say just because it delights me the haunted house. The haunted house is no, I'm afraid not, although it'd be another seasonal business. They own the copyright for GIFs because they bought Compuserve and Compuserve way back when patented the GIF. Here's your last question. In 2005, H&R Block got in trouble when it was revealed that for the past three years, they had made significant errors when filing whose taxes. A, seven of the nine Supreme Court Justices, B, their own taxes, or C, every player in the New York Yankees. I mean, I'm going to say their own B, your right. They managed to screw up their own corporate tax return, and they're excused, but we used turbo tax, did not fly. Bill, how did the Quizmaster Ken Jennings do on our quiz? Like a champ, two out of three, congratulations, kids. How does it, does it, I have to, I mean, okay, yes, we did this thing to you. We asked you about H&R Block. Does it feel good, do you finally conquered your demon, that is, H&R Block? After all these years, I'm finally back to 500, but you know, I think of them all, every time I drive past a strip mall, you see that little green square. Now Peter, I'm going to think of them every time I watch a GIF. Yeah, you've made my life even worse, help them year round. Ken Jennings is the host of Jeopardy, he's also the author of the Complete Connections Puzzle Book, which has eaten up a lot of my week. It's available now. Ken Jennings, thank you so much for joining us again. I'm way, way, way, way. We always enjoy this to you, take care, we'll see you on TV, bye bye. From at PR, and W.E.C. Chicago, there's his, wait, wait, don't tell me, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Curtis, we are playing this week with Joy Eln, the cold Johnson, Faith, Silly, and Tom Bo-Depth. And here we go, there's your host, that's the student maker theater, and should come out of the line. Peter Segal. Thank you. Bill, in just a minute, after last week's disastrous experiment with the listener hand-to-hand combat challenge, we return to doing limb ricks. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-triple-late, wait, wait, that's 1-888-9248-924. Right now, I'll panel some more questions for you from the week's news. Joel, this week, we heard some new dating advice. You should always wait to the third date to do what? No, it's not that, but. Oh, I wouldn't even think about that for once. You should wait to the third date to tell your date that you like cruise ships. Ah, no, not that. To tell your date who you voted for. No. To tell your date, you are anti-vax. No. Those are all good, yeah. I was about to say, any one of those answers to those questions, you could predict the other two. Give me a hint, Peter. I'll give you a hint. So you're like there, you're like you're in your third date, you're like, hey, it looks like this might be getting serious. So it's time to talk about protecting my assets. Oh, prenup? Yes. You should wait to the third date to talk about getting a prenup. The third date. The third date. According to one prominent divorce lawyer, naturally, the third date is the perfect time to bring up a prenup. It's a way to say, hey, I really see a future with you. And also an end to that future. And also, I'm rich, because if you don't have anything to protect, why are you bringing it up? It's true. I guess it's kind of a weird humble brag in a way. Yeah. Not even humble. Yeah. What rich man am I dating? Timeboat debt? I think I've made a huge strategic error in this show, and I was hoping we could start over. The reasoning is that talking about a prenup in the third date is the perfect way to quote the personalize it by bringing it up early, right? That's crazy. That's not what the third date is for. The third date is supposed to be for flirting and making sure you know each other's last names. It's also the date where you can maybe let them hear, like, you don't have to run the water when you go to the bathroom and they're apartment. You poopin' on the third date? No, not pooping, kid. You don't know. I'd excuse me. But I am not the type of lady who poops on a third date. We're a long way from prenup. We're a long way. Faith, this week, The New York Times reported customers are getting fed up with restaurants that just won't stop doing what? Oh, QR codes with their menus? I like that. You know, although that is annoying, I agree. But not that. Um. The audience is with you there. Can you give me a hint? Sure. It's like, I texted, stop. Like you asked. Why don't you stop? Can the confirmation text-- Yes, they won't stop texting you all the time. It used to be just one text to confirm your reservation. Now they just keep texting you. Then they're like, you up? Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. All I wanted was a table for two for dinner, and instead of me getting more texts than my close male friends have sent me in their whole lives. And then you go in there and sit down, and it's every five seconds. It's just like, how's your first few bites tasting? It's just like going to get you anything else. It was one talk to my wife. Sorry, you triggered me. No, I am, I appreciate that. I went out to eat once with a celebrity chef, and the whole, like, the restaurant they were acting crazy. Yes, not all happened. And they kept me like, it's everything OK. And then the second person came, it was everything OK. And she was like, actually, the lamb is dry, but she just told us that. And she was like, if they come back, I'm going to tell them the lamb is dry. And the manager comes to us like, it's everything OK. And she said, the lamb is dry. And I saw a grown man's heartbreak in front of my face. Wow. And I think about that often with a smile. They asked if they didn't want the honest answer. Oh my god. Yeah, the only good kind of text from restaurants is when they let you put your name on the waiting list. And you can go get a drink somewhere until your table's ready. So I did think it was weird when they texted, hey, your table isn't ready. You just wanted to see what you're up to, send pics. Coming up, it's lightning, fill in the blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-triple-late, wait, wait. You can see us most weeks at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago with more shows on the road announced soon. Tickets and information about all our live events are at npr.org. Hi, everyone, wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, this is Tricia calling from 29 Volmes, California. 29 Palms, oh, it's out there in the desert, right? I've never been there, but I've heard it's beautiful. It is, it's very beautiful, but if you want to do anything fun, you have to drive at least half an hour. But don't they have around 30 Palms to look at? At least, at least that many. At least that many, one would hope, one would hope. Well, welcome to the show, Tricia. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related lemurics with the last word of phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly, and two of the lemurics will be a winner. Peter, I was born ready. There you go! That's the kind of attitude we want. Here's your first lemuric. This planet is molten and bleak. We sniff and emit a quick shriek. It has sulfurious gas that is trapped and won't pass. Like rotten eggs. Boy, does it? Stink is the right idea, but it doesn't rhyme with bleak or shriek. Shriek? Yes, riek. That's right, riek. Good news, good news. Astronomers are discovered a whole new type of planet never seen before. The bad news, it stinks bad. So, we have watery planets like Earth. We have Jupiter, a gas giant. The planet L985090 is something never seen before by scientists. It's a past gas giant. It's covered in an ocean of molten magma. Scientists say the ocean cannot support life, but think about it. If it did have sharks, they would be so cool. The ocean is full of sulfur, meaning that the planet is just an enormous rotten egg laid by a galactic chicken. I feel bad, though, for the other planets in that solar system. They're always like, ah, could you crack open a black hole or something? If you believe in a god, in an original creator, then that creator dealt it. True. That's true. God's whoopee cushion right out there. Here is your next limerick. I should sit and crack jokes in a punning pub, because screaming and sprinting is a stunning snub. You're interested in sweat? Out of breath? That's a tragic love death. Don't start asking for dates in your. Running club. Running club indeed, very good. How did you get that? For years now, lonely people have been urged to meet friends and romantic partners by joining running clubs, as everybody knows, they provide the wild sexual dynamics of an improv troop, but with more chafen. But now, an essayist in Time Magazine is asking everyone, stop dating people in your running club. Apparently, dating has created a culture of, quote, ghosting, disposability, and romantic churn in the running clubs. Pretty much everyone is sleeping with each other and running as well, my god, the smell. I think that it's the runners who aren't getting any dates. That's probably the people who are coming. Yeah, because the priorities are all. Like, if your running club is sort of getting tense and weird because people are having sex with each other and dating, you know that? And you want the dating to stop. I think you've got your priorities flipped. I mean, it's been a while since I've been out there, but I remember it fondly. Yeah. You're talking about running. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Here is your last, Limerick. Well, I'm no great catch or hot stud. Double dates sometimes land with a thud. Seeing you is a chore, because your partner is a bore. It's too bad that you married a. A dud? A dud, yes. Wow. In New York Times, offer tips this week for how to double date when your friend's partner is a dud in their words. And if you're looking around the table during a double date and you're wondering, well, who's the dud? I have some bad news. Ultimately, the article says, compromise. That's important. You need to suck it up on behalf of your friend. Or just go to the Newktheer option and invite a very hot single friend to join all of you so you can ruin their relationship. Maybe that's the time to bring up post-nubs. Exactly. Just on a really bad double date. Sure. Yeah. Although, double dates with bad couples are very useful, because afterwards you can turn to your spouse and be like, you know, compared to them, we're doing great. Bill, how did Trisha do in our quiz? Trisha is no dud. She got him all right. Congratulations. Thank you so much. Congratulations. Now it's time for our final game, Lightning Film, The Blank, each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many film The Blank questions as they can. and each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the score? - I can, Joy-L has two, Tom and Faith each have three. - Okay, that means Joy-L, you're in second place, so you're gonna go up first. The clock will start when it begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, President Trump arrived in Beijing for his summit with blank. - Oh, the president of China? - Sure, Xi Jinping is his name. On Thursday, the governor of South Carolina announced plans to redraw his state's blanks. - Oh, the district. - Yeah, the congressional maps this week, Kevin Warsh, was confirmed as the next chair of the blank. Something that somebody got fired from. - Not quite, the Federal Reserve. This week's staff at Baltimore City Hall were accused of spending $50,000 in city funds on blank. - Strip us. - Oh, no. Crab cakes and wings at baseball games. - They said it did the strip us. - Maybe on Wednesday, Utah approved a new blank data center twice the size of Manhattan. - AI. - Yeah, exactly. This week, visitors to Japan are being advised to read labels carefully. After a foreign tourist was spotted blanking. - Going through a garbage disposal to distribute Haunte virus to people? (audience laughing) - No. (audience laughing) The tourist in Japan was seen guzzling a bottle of sauce for noodles because she thought it was iced tea. (audience laughing) The tourist was caught on Japanese TV opening a bottle of noodle sauce and taking a huge swig because she confused it for a bottle of iced tea not being able to read the label. And if she is anything like me, she must have been thinking, "Oh, wow, the sophisticated Japanese palette. "The salt makes this iced tea much more interesting." And also, it's thick. (audience laughing) - But I like it. (audience laughing) Bill, how did you all do in our quiz? - Three right, six more points. - A total of eight. He's in the lead. - Right. (audience laughing) - Let's skip over one seat to Tom. Tom, you go next, fill in the blank. According to new data, the US's blank rate jumped to 3.8% in April. - Inflation. - Right, after the White House approved a plan to fire and marty Makari announced he was stepping down his head of the blank. - The Border Patrol. - No FDA. This week, New York Mayor blank released his $125 billion budget for the city. - The Mamda means. - Or Ammanbani. On Monday, the Justice Department announced criminal charges related to the collapse of the key bridge in blank. - Where was the key? Oh, Baltimore. - Right, this week, a White House email warning staff members about leaks to the media was blanked. - Leaked? - To the media. Of course, on Monday, the 2026 blank film festival began in France. - The Con, right. - On Tuesday, Jason Collins, the first openly gay player in the blank died of cancer at the age of five. - Oh, the NBA. - Right. This week after an Amtrak train in Texas crashed into a car, the conductor was unable to assist the car's driver because the moment he stepped out of the train, to do so, he was blanked. - I'm hit by a train. - No, he was surrounded by alligators. - Oh, wow. - It's happened in the coastal region of Texas. The conductor said he wanted to help the driver and the car he had just hit, but four alligators blocked the path between him and the car. Fortunately, rescue workers were able to get to the scene quickly. The train was freed from the wreckage, arrived at its next destination only four hours late, which is actually considered for Amtrak on time. (audience laughs) Bill, how did Tom do in our quiz? - Really well, he got six right, 12 more points, total to 15, puts him in the lead. - All right, so down it up, not enough. - Listen, I had a concussion two weeks ago, so I'm playing out of deficit. - All right, so how many then does faith need to win? - Well, six to tie, seven to win. - All right. Here we go, faith, this is for the game, fill in the blank. On Tuesday, experts said that the war with blank would likely cost taxpayers $1 trillion. - All right. - Right, this week blackouts hit blank, as the country says it has run out of fuel. - Cuba. - Right, this week a new study found that over 25% of Americans believe that blank assassination attempts were staged. - Trump's. - Right, on Monday, climate science has warned that parts of India could soon be unlivable due to extreme blank. - Heat. - Right, this week Pokemon fans in South Korea are lining up to get the recently released blank. - K-pop Pokemon, a water bottle. - No, Pokemon toilet paper on Wednesday. It was announced that Shakira and BTS will perform at the first ever blank halftime show. - World cup. - Right, this week a mom and Florida, who thought intruders were trying to smash their way into her home, was relieved to discover it was just blank. - Oh, a bear. - No, two alligators. - Oh. - Fight. - Oh. (laughing) - Kayla Burst was inside, but there's sleeping baby and Ave Maria, Florida, when she heard crashing on her porch and thought someone was breaking in. Thankfully, when she went to investigate, she saw it was just two alligators and a fight to the death over who would get to eat that Amtrak conductor. (laughing) - Bill did faith do well enough to win. - Very close, very close. Five, right, 10 more points, subtle of 13. She's number two, Tom Isarkim. (audience cheering) - Thank you, thank you very much. - In just a minute, we'll ask our panelists to predict after wordle what'll be the next time wasting activity to get turned into a TV show. (audience laughing) But first, let me tell you that. Wait, wait, don't tell me. It's a production of NPR and WBZ Chicago and association with urgent haircut production is Doug Burman, benevolent overlord. Philip Gaudica writes, "Our Limericks, "our public address and answers Paul Friedman, "our office manager is Jiserah Vardak, "thanks to the staff and crew here "at the Sudabaker Theatre, "B.J. leader, been composed our theme. "Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, "Miles, Norma, San Lillian, King. "Special thanks to Blythe, Robbers, "and Monica Hickey, Peter Gwynn is our dog whisperer. "Emma, Troy is our vibe curator. "Technical direction of some Lorna Wider, "CFOs call another reproduction managers, Robert Newells. "I've seen your producer, Zee, and Chillog, "and the executive producer. "Wait, wait, don't tell me he's Michael Danforth. "Now, panel, what time wasting activity "will next become a TV show, Faith Saley? "The Zillow Game Show. "Can you guess how much your friends homes cost? (audience laughs) Tom Baudet. - Don't read the comments. Celebrities will be forced to look at the comments that follow pictures of them on the internet (laughs) while we watch. - Joyelle Nicole Johnson. - Wine and Dine, where we watch goofy billionaires, and wine about taxes while eating our restaurants with no prices on the menu. (audience laughs) - Well, if any of that happens, panel, we're gonna ask you about it. You're on Weight Weight, don't tell me. - Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Faith Saley, Tom Baudet, J.O. Nicole Johnson. Thanks to our fabulous audience here, just did it a bit better in downtown Chicago, and I'm only thanks to all of you for listening, wherever you might be in this bright, wide world. I'm Peter Segal. We'll see you next week. (audience cheers) This is NPR.