We Got The Gout w/ Ian Fidance!

It's a summertime gang, and the boys are coming to your hometown. We're talking about Portland, Maine, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Cleveland, Ohio. Grab the squad. Let's all hang out, play a little AYG, some stand-up comedy. It's going to be a fun, fun time. Yeah, then the boys are headed to Atlantic City, baby, down there on a boardwalk. King of the Boards returns to South Jersey. Philadelphia people, Jersey people, get your tickets to Atlantic City. Also, Denver, Colorado, those tickets are selling very fast. Those will sell out. Get them. We'll be there in July. Love yous. Mean it. Bye. Let's go. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? It's that little show where we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that if we grew up to be classy, we're just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, Kevin Ryan, coming at you on a beautiful day. We got a wacky one. We're out back here at Aunt Tootie's. She is upstairs getting ready for the big yard sale this weekend. Mostly my trophies and stuff. A little bit of age-fully memorabilia. Working world's gayest man. That's a big trophy. Remember when trophies used to be huge? Oh, I remember getting your hands on one of those. Mike Coase is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage? Fancies himself as a bit of an international businessman. Okay, I see you're upset with me. Coffers are a little low these days. Goddamn tyrants are killing us. Kevin James Ryan, everybody. What's up, gang? Shout out to you, as always. Thanks for tuning in. Please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify. And the boys are climbing the friggin' charts. Yes, sir. We couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly nice. Is that it? Check out patreon.com. Oh, geez. Sorry. Fucking complaining about the coffers being low. That's www.patreon.com. At an all-time high, by the way. Creeping in on 16,000. Let's go. People, that is. Nice. That's what I'm talking about. Gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly. And I'm an incredibly special guest back with us again today. As you know him, he's family. He was recently run over. He was recently run over by a handsome cab. The horse's recovery. He is the co-host, the host and creator of An Odd Guy Doin' Odd Jobs from YMH Studios. Ian do. Ian does? Ian did. Ian did? Ian Lee. I thought it was odd. I thought it was. It's called Ian Do. An Odd Guy Doin' Odd Jobs. That annoys everybody. Yeah. Just read the title. Read the trade. Just got canceled. This past episode, yes. And of course, he's the co-host of Bein' Ian with Jordan. Give it up for our good pal, the frail. You're a little frail. He's got a lot of uric acid in him. Is this public? Yeah. Is it? Are we the scoop here? You're getting the first hot scoop. You got it. Ian has two weeks to live, everybody. Coming to you live, I've got gout. They're straight to hell. I saw him two nights ago at the cell. I come out, I turn the corner, and I'm, you know, looking for a familiar face. And I see him, I go, hey, schmiggin' fight it. It's everybody. He turns around. I got gout. Fucking, all right, Uncle Dave, what the fuck? It's not good. I got gout. They're going to take my postman's route away from me. My uric acid levels are true to roof. And then he goes, I go, what do you do? Like, exercise, diet? Is there pills you can take? He goes, they said if I come on all your garbage and plug my travel show, it'll go away. And Kev goes, I hope you got good insurance. How the fuck do you have gout? I know why you have it. Why? Because all that fucking Thai iced tea you're drinking with that evaporated milk. That's a get ya. No, I've never had Thai iced tea in my life. It's also, of all the guys sitting at the table, you have gout is insane. It's nuts. The fact that I beat you in the gout race is crazy. You don't drink. You're allergic to shellfish. No, I'm not. That's what it is. You eat them crabs by the bushel out of that Chester River down there. What are they saying? What do they attribute it to? Dude. You're in good shape, so I'm assuming it's the diet or is it genetic? I'm in great shape. You're currently the only guy at the table with a cane. A leopard print cane that he puts stickers on, by the way. Hello. Man, do you have to bedazzle everything? Soul blind. You're like Jojo Suela. He's dancing. The kid liked that. I'm back. Ian's Flydance.com.com for all my dates. That's like a baton. Yeah. Where do you get that? Walgreens. He sure as hell didn't get that no men's section. There were a lot of options. I thought the leopard print was fun. I do have an assortment of canes. I have a cane with an eagle on it. I have a cane with a snake on it. Are you required to now send back soup at the diner? He ain't been pimping since been pimping since been pimping. Not on a near not. Mm, I got that pimp limb. Have you had to go upside anybody's head lately? Mm, it's nice to have the cane on these streets. Yeah. You always say that like you're going to make a move. Like when you walked around with your knife. You're not going to wet anybody. You don't got the stones for that. Are you kidding me? That's messy business. You know who I am? I'm a dirty Delaware doozy. I'm a coffee slugging, all day smoking, late night joking wild motherfucker. You're a middle-aged man with gout who may or may not be paying his rent. I know gout. I'm out about it. That's just funny. We'll be right back with Ian Fidance. Thank you. Ask me where I'm from. Delaware. Ask. Where are you from? Goudy Arabia. I got to go. Should have quit when I was ahead. Speaking of, Luke hit me with a good one earlier. Oh, my God. And then he followed it up with the worst joke I've ever heard. Kevin, when do you have to go back to direct the other episodes of Entourage, by the way? Oh, my God. Yeah, really. I look like a DP waiting for a DP. That's double penetration for you nerds out there. That's right. DVDA. What's up? Airtight, as the kids say. You ever been airtight? No. That's how I got the gal. Blew you up. You're huffing helium. You can get it from drinking too much beer. I don't. Too much high fructose corn syrup. I'm not. Too much shellfish. Too much red meat. No. My diet's been good. You can also get it randomly. Which I believe. You're not a random kind of guy, though. You're not some guy that gets. What? I'm so random. You probably used a weird public toilet. Wookie, woogie, woogie. Random. What? I was being random. Look, man. I believe that's anonymous. Look, things aren't good. What's in the. All right. What is that? Prune juice? Tart cherry juice. It helps gal. Really? I've been chugging it. It's been helping. Nothing else hit it. I took two shots at tart cherry juice. The gout is the most painful thing I've ever gone through. It's in your toe? Except for a heartbreak. Wait. I don't like this. I don't like the cane. Yeah. Put the cane away. What do you mean, why? You keep. Who's that? That was pretty good. Who's that? We freak out. I fucking hate you. Yeah. So, you know. It's on your toe. The toe joint. Uric acid builds up. So, the knuckle. The knuckle crystallizes, and it shoots out. It's like crystal daggers. That just fucking sounds painful. My foot swelled up. It was awful. My doctor was like, look, I was an ER doctor for years. Number one pain. My doctor was like, look, I'm not a doctor. If your doctor has to convince you that he's a doctor, he's not a doctor. Look, I went to medical school. I swear to God. You can ask anybody. Just not right here. He said, everybody, you ask them the most painful thing they've been through, it's gout. And he was an ER doctor. I've heard so much stuff. I feel like a gunshot might trump that. Gout, worse. I'm telling you. My doctor. He's sick. Dr. Pepper. I can FaceTime him right now. You can FaceTime your doctor? Then he's not a doctor. Well, one of my doctors. No, he is a doctor. My lifelong best friend is my doctor. Your lifelong best friend? You go to a doctor that you grew up with? Yeah. It's great. Free. What are you, going to see him at his house? No, we FaceTime. He lives in Miami, and his brother is my criminal defense attorney. Yes. Yes. You know. Man. You don't pay for anything, do you? Well, my doctor at urgent care is the one that's been, dude. That's not your doctor. That's not a doctor. That's not. What? That's a homeless person's doctor. Every time I go to urgent care, he's in the back, and he goes, hey, come on back. This guy thinks I'm a doctor. You guys get a little bit. I'm going to have this guy in a cane in 20 minutes. You'll like this. Wait. Don't you? I went Sunday. No, we won't. I went Sunday, and it's Memorial Day weekend. Pharmacies are closed. I needed steroids, and he just gave me loose steroids, and then gave me more for the next day, and then I got my prescription today. Why do you need steroids? To make the swelling go down. I thought you wanted to just get your arms bigger. I'm trying to get jacked up. You're off your feet. But I. Dude, I'm on steroids. I'm on another. I feel like I'm getting gout. Gout medicine. I didn't know gout made you boring. He's not feeling well. I know. Please. Ow. He has no sympathy. It's another medicine I'm on. Boring. Two tablets in the morning. My doctor said boring. I overdosed. He wasn't giving you medicine. He was trying to get you out of the office. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've been diagnosed with boring. That sucks, man. My cousin Pat had that shit. What, boring? No. No, it's fine. I see it's contagious. Yeah, I think it runs in the family. No, you're gout. And I remember him telling me he couldn't even put a sheet on his toe. Yes. And when he said that, it scared the fuck out of me. I still kept eating, though. Middle of the night. I would turn, wake up screaming, awful, Terrible, yeah. You put a sheet on it. Anything that touches hurts. You couldn't wear a shoe. I'm walking barefoot in the apartment. I'm not moving in with you, then. Why? I think, listen. Think of the fun we'll have. This was just this idea. We'll hang out all the time. Can I say, honestly, when we were in L.A., you guys had the nice Airbnb. A lot of B's in there. Airbnb and B&B. B's in the trap. B, B's in the trap. Yeah, I don't think so. Man, this cane turned you into an old man. I know. Uncle Randy over here. Isn't it crazy you just can't find thin corned beef anymore? It's horrible. I've been writing my congressman. My assemblyman's tired of hearing from me. I want thin corned beef. I want a nice phosphate. It's not happening. That's not brown mustard. No, but when we were in L.A. You guys should move in together. Hanging out at the- Are you fucking kidding me? And this is why I want a You Don't Perfect Foil TV show coming this fall. Let's move to L.A. We all live in a house. Content house. Are you garbage? With the gout man. This sounds expensive for me. If I'm being honest with you. I gotta move in with two psychopaths. Leave my family behind and pay for it. That is the perfect log line for the show. They can cut the elevator pitch. Are you kidding me? Yeah, it's great. As Ian holds the door to the elevator open. No, you gotta listen. It's closing. We've got more. They pull the alarm. Mr. Romano, just one more minute, please. It's called Everybody Loves Gout. Okay, what the fuck? Hanging out with Foley and Ian. That's pretty good. I feel a spin-off podcast. I feel like that could affect our relation. First of all, I don't have to pay rent, right? No. I got you. That's what that was like. No, no, I got you. But the cable bill is $8,000. I'll pay you. I have all the packages. Just give me cash. I'll never- You'll never see a bill. You got the cats running around in there. Oh, they're the best. Do I have my separate bathroom? We share a bathroom upstairs. No, no, no. You have a bathroom downstairs. We share a shower upstairs. Then I got Jensen running in and out of there. And the producer and shit. You got a lot. I mean, we need the studio for a certain amount of time. Then you'll be asking- Wait, is the bedroom the studio or there's another bedroom? No, there's a studio in the next door. If I was sleeping on the set of V and Ian with Jordan, I'd blow my brains out. That's perfect. Dude, amazing. Amazing. Don't mind Henry. Your brains will be a nice set design. I mean, really, I think that'd be a great show. Listeners at home, let us know what you think. Pop off in the comments. This is how you lose me. What? He'll suck me in. Yeah. I'll be the co-host over there. That's all my play. Gibby. I'm calling you to pick me up. I got Stavros on the line. It's been trying to get rid of this tumor for years. Call me chemo. I'm going to bore him. They'll be taking you to the doctor. You're the doctor at Urgent Care. This is my friend, Henry. Check him out. Henry, come with me. I got Meals on Wheels coming. You're joking. No. Yeah. You'd be shopping at Salvation Army and shit. Let me tell you. I'm getting sponsored by Factor for the travel show and the podcast, free meals, whenever you want. Got a whole fridge full of them. Free breakfast for life. Shout out to Factor. Shout out to Factor. Yeah. And you and me. He's telling you on Factor promotion to move in with him like we also don't have Factor promotion. We love Factor. Yeah. Factor's great. Promo code Scott. Is that what your promo code is? Thank you. Stink. Yeah. Promo code Kane. Look, when you- I save an extra 10%. When you move in, we will spitball promo codes. How big of a room? If I had a separate bathroom and a separate entrance and it wasn't your place, I'd think about it. It was in Manhattan. You do have a separate entrance. You have a separate bathroom. So this is below ground, right? Yeah. It's a two bedroom duplex. I'm not living downstairs. You're not living downstairs, asshole. But that's where you belong. No. Fuck that. I'm not moving into your place and living down in a basement. You're a bottom dweller. You ship it out down there. If you'll live with me, I'll do it. That's a guy looking for a friend. Yeah. If you live with me, I'll do anything. I'll move out. I thought there was two or three bedrooms upstairs. I'll be honest. Can I tell you something seriously? I do not have the free breakfast for life from Factor's. I will make you breakfast for life. Okay? Those I have to pay for. You got a film crew phone? Film crew follow you around? All right. I got a little bit over my skis with that whole free breakfast for life thing. Okay. Set a couple of ground rules. I just had to get my cane in the door. Man. Oh, man. We stink. Your squad stinks, dude. I have to be honest with you. I don't have a lease. This is your team, buddy. Oh, dude. You picked them unwell. I know. I picked it. I got a kooky squad. I attract. It's the true dirtbag in me. It's your pheromones. Doritos. I attract fucking derelicts, addicts, losers. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Bottom of the barrel. I'm not a loser. I'm a tiny dick. I don't have a tiny dick either. I got a nice piece. Yeah. Look. What are you talking about? L.A. was great. Amazing. L.A. wasn't great? It was great. Shut up. We had so much fun. Swimming, hanging out. You missed a date, but sure. Those hot dogs were great. The column was making, you know. We got a good team. I say we capitalize. Let's move out there. We are not a team. You are a guest on the program, which we are regretting. And I have my feelings hurt. These jokes are a little too tart for me. You know what's not tart? Factor meals. If you could throw me free breakfast for life, I'd appreciate it. Can you stop throwing me under the bus? Me? Yeah. That's where you're going to live if you move in with me. We got to do scams every day. You guys are hanging on the back of the bus. It's free. Henry and she're turning it hip by the livery cab. Dude, I'm telling you. You and me, if we live together, filmed it. Top of the pops. Number one show in town. That's a small town. Bend, Oregon. That's where we're living. We're huge in Bend. No, I think that's great. I think it's great for both of you. You can help each other. We have been helping each other. We've been great for each other. I think getting that any closer could cause some problems. Well, the best thing about problems is you solve them. Dude, that's a guy who's caused a bunch of issues. What if we end up sleeping together and I got to get married to you? Don't flatter yourself. Please. Please don't act like you've been throwing it at me. Am I tight? Well, you know, why do you think I'm trying to help you? So he's over at the house swimming in his underwear. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's right. Letting the peace hang out. Now, let me tell you this. When we were in L.A. and we were hanging out, early mornings and then breakfast, hanging, that could be our life. Just eating nice foods. He really wants to move out to L.A. I would only do it if I had people. You see what you're sitting in? This is in New York. We're here. Are you garbage? Yeah. Moving out to L.A.? Are you nuts? Me and him are hanging out. We're driving around. We should move out here. This is a real good town. That was in another life. Another life? It was three weeks ago, fat ass. No, I meant in another life. Oh, I apologize for the fat ass. I'm sorry. And we had just made love. No, I don't know. It was fun. It was great. I was going to say three weeks is a lifetime ago for a fat guy. Ooh, happy to be here. We're sitting on a gold mine, fellas. Or a guy trying to shake away a couple of months in his head. Yes, weeks ago. So, Ian. So, Ian, you have gout. We should do the whole thing like fucking Comics Unleashed. Ian, why you got that crazy ass cane with you? Kip, you know Mudwater. Oh, I know Mudwater. You know, I've been trying to lay, you know, I've been trying to lay, you know, I've been trying to lay off the coffee a little bit. I know. You know. It's one of your crosses to bear. I get a little jittery. Ooh. You know. Tried that Mudwater. Uh-huh. You know. Yeah. Love it. It's great. I dig it. Yeah. A little different energy. Sure. Feels good. You feel a little more tuned in, a little dialed in. Yes. You know what I mean? Do yourself a favor. If you're trying to lay off the caffeine a little bit, you know what I mean? You want a little alternative, keep you focused, get you woken up in the morning, try that Mudwater. Yeah, Mudwater is a coffee alternative made with mushrooms and adaptogens with about one-seventh of the caffeine of a cup of coffee, so you get the focus and the energy without the jitters, the crash, the anxiety. The cop's looking for you. I was introduced to this, I think, during the pandemic. My wife got a hold of it. We started trying it. She's big on it. I dig when I'm having too much coffee or I want to feel a little more sad, I'll dabble with it. It also comes with the frother that's real nice. It's real nice. Nice froth going. There are actually four flavors. They have the OG, original chai, chocolate blend, coffee, matcha, and turmeric. So if you're a coffee person, a matcha person, a chai person, there's something in between. They got you covered. Ready to make the switch to cleaner energy? Go to mudwater.com. That's M-U-D-W-T-R dot com slash garbage and grab the starter kit. Use code garbage and you'll get 43% off. Holy heck. The frother alone is worth it, like I said. That's right. You get up to 43% off with the code garbage at M-U-D-W-T-R dot com. After you purchase, they're going to ask you how you found about them. Please support the show and tell them the boy sent you. Mudwater. Hey, dog. Man, I love hollow socks. Hollow socks, hollow socks, hollow socks. Yeah, that baby alpaca, ultra soft fiber. Where was that my whole life? I don't know. That thermoregulating that they do. They're cool when it's hot outside. They're warm when it's cold outside. Your feet stay dry. It's just like a daily wear sock that, man. It's like some things are just, you're like, oh, this is so much better than a regular sock. Yeah. If you haven't tried hollow socks, do yourself a favor. Yes, they're synthetic fibers, cotton, and even wool. Regular socks never seem to hold up to the promises. Whether you're on the job, doing yard work, tailgates, hiking, camping, travel days, which we got a lot of. 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That's hollowsocks.com for up to 50% off your order. After you purchase, they're going to ask you where you heard about them. You can support our show and tell them the boy sent you. Do it. How long does it take to heal? We got to also get to some questions at some point. How long is, what's the prognosis negative on this? It takes, it can last anywhere from a week to two weeks. Thankfully, I've had it for a week. Dude, initially, I thought it was a sprained toe because we ran the 5K. I wore my Vans. The next weekend, I went wrestling with AEW, wore the Vans again, getting slammed, taking bumps, running the ropes. So I'm thinking I agitated it. And have a lawsuit against Vans. And then I, actually, it'd be nice to get sponsored. And I ended up- Not with your fucking gout feet. I don't want that. Are you kidding me? I stopped wearing the Vans and that's how I got the gout. That's a lie. And I- Thought I sprained my toe in the middle of the night. Free Vans for life. I got that. I refused to get help. I called my doctor and he was like, you have gout. The kid that works at Wendy's. I go, no, I'm not. No, I'm not. I don't have, I don't have gout. And then- No manners either. I am, sorry, it's tart cherry juice. It's getting me. And I said, no, I don't have gout. The next day, I was in such bad pain. He's like, I told you, you had gout. Send me medicine. Didn't get it till the next day. If I got the medicine the first day, it would have stopped the first day. Why didn't you get it the first day? Why didn't you get it the next day? Because I was in gout denial. Did he mail it to you? No, he got it, sent me a prescription in Albany. And I didn't get the medicine until Saturday. Why Albany? Oh, you were in Albany. Were you in Albany? Or that's where your pharmacist is? I was in Albany this weekend. I feel like you're in Albany a lot. I feel like you're performing. I don't know, but he got defensive like a guy who's spent too much time in Albany. I play it every year and I stay there. I could have swore you were just there. And I live there every night. Shout out Albany Funny Bone. Shout out. But dude, if I had gotten the medicine the first day, it would have stopped the flare up. But I was stubborn. I didn't get the medicine until Saturday. I got hit with it Wednesday into Thursday. I had to cancel my spots. I was in such bad pain. I was supposed to shoot a man on the street TV show Sunday. You were going to shoot a guy? I was going to shoot a guy. Did you cancel those spots on Sunday? No, I went. Good. But I was supposed to shoot a man on the street. I was angling for him. I was supposed to walk around the city show. I had to cancel. I couldn't walk. And then I was supposed to go to a wrestling event with AEW. I was going to be a guest. Could not go. Nightmare. What was that look for? Are you talking to us this whole time? Long story short, Ian's still annoying. I told you. I'm on boredom. And thank God, Foley, he and I talked and he goes, well, are you at the cellar tonight? I go, oh, fuck. I forgot. I had two cellar spots. Thank God I got him. Killed those things. Killed him. Killed him. He didn't have them. I just wanted to see him hobble on the cellar. Get over there. Yeah. And then I see this guy. He's fucking, you know, I'm hobbles. He's head wobbles. And bobblehead Ryan. Why is everything going to rhyme with you? I don't know. When I feel good, I speak in limericks. I told you to do the fucking Willy Wonka thing where you do the flip. I can't. I got the gal. They can't get back up. I did a whole thing on the phone. It was funny. It was funny on the phone five days ago. Let's get to some cues. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Wait, what the fuck? What step in recovery do you pull the e-brake? All right. But that was, I mean, that was a gear shift of all gear shifts. Yeah, really? Thanks, Byron. All right. Is there anything else about the gal? Or is that the end? I want you going on their podcast. It's an exclusive. This is an exclusive. So you can't talk about it. Well, I shot the travel show this weekend with Equal Vision Records on Friday. And then Prism Glassworks Saturday. I did talk about gal, but those episodes are not coming out till later. Do you like anything anybody knows? What? What are you? My favorite band's Metallica. What are you talking? I've stayed to black. Now, wait. The travel shows I go and I do interesting jobs. Everything's so obscure with you. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, man. You're getting mean, Mildy. This is a good one. This is like today's episode that just came out. YouTube.com slash Ian Finance Comedy. I was an oyster farmer. That's good. That's good. Whisper the name of the page. Oh, I thought I heard someone go, shh. I think it was one of my voices. I think it was every listener. Nothing on that. Oh, oysters. Yeah. Did you eat them? So many. That's what it is. This was back in February. I was an oyster farmer in Pemiquid, Maine. Shout out John's River Oyster. It was great, but could I have gotten the gal from eating too many oysters? Yeah. Maybe. Right, Luke? Is that a thing? Will I do it again? Yeah. Didn't you have any cocktail sauce or anything? I love, dude, we were taking them right out of the river. Ugh, fuck. The river? Delicious. John's River. You were eating river oysters? I mean, where else are you going to get them? You get them from the ocean, so the briny flavor. I don't like fresh water oysters. These were good brine. Brine. Brine. Ah, look at that. We're all out of brine. Trying to give me a brine. Can you keep me around? For a little while. What do you got, Luke? Stretch. I mean, they're river oysters, yeah. Ugh. Yeah. Do they cause gout? Yeah, I mean, I don't think it would cause gout two months later. Yeah. No. Wow. But, dude, I'm telling you, John's River Oysters, I mean, these were, I mean, well back select. You guys know my doctor, Dr. Luke? What? Dr. Luke, shout out to live crew. That was Uncle Luke. Was it? Yeah. I've been calling my doctor wrong the whole time. Ian's becoming an old lady. Dr. Luke. Dr. Luke, can you help me out? I thought you were looking for workers' comp from the paintball video. Oh, dude. Oh, is this your first time with suit? Yes. Oh, yeah. You guys lit me up, and I didn't like it. I mean, that was an all, I mean, an actual embarrassment showing by you. I don't care. I'm not good in war. If I'm in a street fight, I win by throwing the first punch. You hit one in on me first, I'm done. Wait, what? I'm just trying to. I thought you had your knife. You stabbed everybody. No, I didn't. No, I got arrested for it. I can't carry it around anymore. Oh, really? I thought having two paintball guns would help. Turns out, it's just more things for me to drop and curl up into a ball. I mean, you guys were great. I folded under pressure. I would not be good in war. You got me fucked up that last round. Yeah, well, somebody shot me in the fucking nutsack, and then the top of the head, and then I thought you shot me. Yeah, dude. I snuck up on him one time, and he had no clue where I was. I shot him, and he yelled at you, who was on his team, for shooting him. Oh, yeah. I'm still shot. Did you shoot him once? Yeah, I shot him once. Dude, war is hell. It aged me. Why do you think I got the gal? Nobody shot anybody once that day. Oh, no. I remember him screaming, I'm out. You got me back. You shot me 35 times. After the second round, I was like, I'm done. I'm done. I don't want to play. This isn't fun. I mean, you guys are STR operators, and I'm just, you know, like a field medic. Huh? Jesus. You're hearing he's going through. STP, great band. Great band. Yeah, now, I'll tell you this. I don't ever want to do paintball ever again. Are you getting paid by the word? What? He said, are you getting paid by the word? Ian, Kevin and I are going to run. You keep talking. We're going to run out, and we're going to grab some lunch. We'll be back. By that time, you might be finished with whatever the story is. Well, don't get me shellfish. I am the gal. No cheese, for God's sakes. I am the gal. It says you can get it for meat and too much red meat, and more than anything, I've just wanted a steak. But all I've been doing is lentils. When life gives you lemon. How long have you been Nathan Lane? Oh, my whole life. More like Nathan Lame. Why? No! Sculpture. Fucking crushes me. Sorry, it's the side effects of Borum. He's going on all outrage. Oh, God. I'm just a rat in a cage. Stop doing that. Doing what? Fucking your little limericks or whatever the fuck they are. - Sorry, I'm in a good mood. - You're free to sell me beans in a minute. Lentils, actually. I was just going to say, the lentils, they're making me mental. Oh, my God. I'm going to kill myself. Is that a promise? I like to feel. Oh, the cane gives me power. I think we're at an hour. Oh, I was just going to say. Whoa, that rhymed, too. That was the joke. Oh, my God. Oh, really? This guy's pretty good. What are you putting your hands in your head for? Yeah. Moving in with Ian. I think that would be very good for everybody involved. I do, too. Mm-hmm. Tell me pros and cons right now. You're crazy? Give me a con. So are you. Touche. What did I have to say? Give me more. We can share meds. I don't love the place. Give me whatever you got. Swapping meds. I'm having a headache. I'm having a head-free day. He just takes whatever you're prescribed to. I'm having a foley weekend. He's up in Albany screaming at people. He's dressed in your clothes. Doing your bits. I got the couch. You're garbage. You're just yelling at people. You're just at home petting a cat maniacally. I love you. What do you take? You take a Fexor? Take a Fexor. He needs to take a breath. Is that it? I didn't know you had so much depth. Oh, man. The mustache wrote that joke. Did you shave or something, too? Yeah, I had my beard. Yeah, the beard's gone. When I wrestled, I put on the costume and I shaved into a Hulk Hogan mustache. You know, to play the part. Can't wait for that episode to come out. It's going to be great. He's dead. When do you play that part? A little tart. Is that organic cherry juice? It's going to make me short. Organic tart cherry juice, yes. It's really, really helped. Really? It shrinks up the crystals. Now, if you drink that weekly, will that help preventative? That doesn't do shit. You need the hard stuff. That stuff on the commercial where the guy's carrying the uric acid bottle around. That's what you need. I don't know what it's called. That's crazy. I've never seen that. It's some medicine. He carries the uric acid around. What paid programming are you watching? It's a fucking drug commercial. I've never seen it. The guy has a huge thing of uric acid. He has uric acid, and he can't carry it. And then all of a sudden, he takes his medicine, and it's down. Luke's going to hit you with it right now. What's it called, Luke? Allopurinol. Oh, yeah. I've got to be on that. Give me a name brand. That don't go in a song. No, no, no. That's what I've got to. The guy's giving it to me. Sky Rizzy. Sky Rizzy. Maybe that's it. No, I'm not on Sky Rizzy. I'm on the Rizzler. I put the Rizz. I don't want to be on Sky Rizzy. I put the Rizz in Sky Rizzy. Luke. Armistead. No. Come on. Name brand. I was following his nickname in high school. Name brand gout medicine. No, it's abuprenol. There's no way. What was the thing you just said? I've got to take that. I'm getting a prescription on Thursday. Are you only allowed to pick up prescriptions on Thursday? In Albany? Thursday's a big day for me. So I've got to take that to stop flare-ups in the future. Why is Thursday a big day for me? It can't be. He's got to do all this stuff on Thursday. Well, the gout will be cleared up. I've got to get my tests. I've got to get my medicine, you know? Old age. What can I say? What medicine? My abuprenol. Abuprenol? That's what I've got to take. Abuprenol. God bless you. There's some dude wipes in the bathroom for that abuprenol. I've got to take abuprenol, my chloroquine, my clocosine. You get that grilled or fried, huh? That's what got me here in the first place. Too much fried. Luke! The albuprenol is the. I'll be sure. That's the generic. Xyloprim or aloprim? Same thing. It's like Sertoline and Zoloft. Same thing. Sertoline? Yeah. I'm Sertoline about it. It's Sertoline crazy. Oh, God. Well, everything seems like it's going great. Yeah. Professionally, yes. Is it? Yeah. What? Holy, I sold out two or three in Albany. Shout out. Why do you think I keep going there? I sold out two or three in Albany. Man, what a brag. Woo! That goddamn big showroom's up there. Yeah. I don't think we sold that joint out. 350 Cedar. Come on now. What do you want from me? Big in Albany. Why are you looking at me like that? I got nowhere else to look. Why are you snorkeling? Just looking for something. Got Cleveland hilarities coming up. Shout out to it. Hey, us too. Yeah, when? When are you there? You want to bring me? June 5th to 6th. Cleveland hilarities. We're there right after you, I think. Are you? I'll leave you a note in the green. I was just going to say that. Yeah? Yeah. That's why we're living together. We are on the same wavelength. It's a prescription for albruvenol. It's a four-year lease. Sign right here. It's pretty much your standard lease renewal agreement. No, I would not make you sign the lease. I would ask for a first month's last month in security. How much is rent? How much would the rent go for? I thought you said you weren't going to charge me, you son of a bitch. No, I'm not. It's $2,000 a month. I'm not. But I got to buy all the cat food. I'm not. He will charge to the LLC. You do have to change the litter. No. You got to contribute. What is this, a free ride? Why are you screaming? I get so mad. It's also his face gets so serious. I just want to get everything out there in the open so there's no questions later. So there's no disputes when I hamstring you later. We have house meetings Monday night. We go over chores. He's the boss and you're not allowed to speak. No more you raise your hand. No questions at this time. You clean kitchen and bathroom Tuesdays, Thursdays. It's him and the cat staring at you. You're sitting there. Hey, Ian. You'll be working under Bucky. What's your cat's name? Glenn and Samson. Yeah. You just farted. Oh, my God. It's a cherry juice. I don't know what to tell you. It's the guy pooping all. I pooped in all your bathrooms. No, but it'll be nice. It's not happening. Why? Okay, hold on. How much would rent be? I wouldn't charge you. If you were going to charge a random person. I would never have anyone live there ever again. You see what I'm doing? Why are you putting up roadblocks? I would give him. What is the market? Okay. I would give him a deal. Okay. What is the market rate for that room? I mean. If we're talking free markets and with the way the war is in Iraq. We're talking prime time location. Is this pre or post straight on moves? I don't know. What's Bitcoin currently trade at? It is a famous podcast studio. I'll tell you. I would not charge you full price, but I don't want to discuss finance. I could get a lot for down there. Okay. I'm not living in the basement. Fifteen hundred. Sold. Kippy. Screwed. What are you paying for your kitchen, bedroom, bathroom? One space right now. That's a nice studio. Yeah. So is this. Now, what are you paying? It's actually the studio where a guy is about to shoot himself. That's pretty good. That's not true. The best I've ever been, believe it or not. Your teeth just fall off. I got Chipotle stuck in my teeth. Poor Chipotle. What? Chipotle barbecue chicken, right? What's it called? Chipotle honey chicken? Isn't it weird? Chipotle is Chipotle? Like, they call it Chipotle, but then there's a spice called Chipotle. Thanks, Seinfeld. Now, how much is your room for rent? That is pretty good. What? His or mine? Mine. You thought I was going to co-sign the Chipotle bit? Like, we were going to ask it stuff, dude. Yeah. What? I said something before you said it was really funny, but I should make it into a bit. Oh, yeah. What was it? I'm not saying it on air. No. What was it? No, you don't steal it. No, I won't. Why do you look like a sad horse? I keep doing it because it gets so bad. No, I won't. If there are any directors out there, I'm ready to act. Unhand me. A lovely meal. A succulent Chinese meal. That's you. Get your hand back on my penis. That shitty car they're putting him in. Are those guys cops? This is Democracy Manifest. He was like a bank robber or something, right? Oh, he had like five identities. Yeah, he was a bad hombre. Depends who you ask. Cool story, though. All right, let's get to some questions. We rarely get to questions when Mr. Finance is here. I know. Uh-huh. I know. I'm going to try to derail it as much as I can. Sure, that's fair enough. That's your prerogative. Yeah. It's also a Madison Amon derail-a-thing. A derail-a-pod? I'm on two scoops of derail-a-pod. Two scoops. I get the powder. I get the powder for him. They need that much. It's like the Raisin Bran scoops. Mmm. I put mine in my milk. He's crazy. How about that, dickhead? If you. Step back from that ledge, my friend. If you moved in. What? No. If you moved in, you know what would be cool? Cutting a hole in the floor, putting a fireball in. Put my dick in there and having you suck it. What? That is crazy. We just do glory old back and forth. We're the only two in there. Hey, is that some guy? I'm going to suck my dick. Hold on. You're faking phone calls to go to the other roof. Hold on. I think I hear the cat. It's just the two of us fucking blowing each other down. Also just a scream door. You can see each other. It's a good idea. I like it. Buddy, I'm all for it. Buddy, I appreciate it. I love you so much. We'll talk about it. He's already got the room set up. He's got balloons that are slowly starting to fall. Welcome home, Foley. Free breakfast. I have to go on the record. I do not have that breakfast yet, but they have mentioned it's a possibility. I'll go to the store on Sunday. Start cooking. I'm cooking Mondays. I am meal prepping. Just a three-month sketeers bar. Got up into a bunch of little pieces one a day. Oh, shit. Yeah, my one a days. Tim, let's talk about Cash App. Cash App, Cash App, Cash App. And let me tell you another thing, my friend, about the new rewards program. Talking about Cash App Green Baby. Cash App just released a new status program for the way people actually spend their money. Actually spend called Cash App Green. 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You got to pay me to be over there. I do very well. Who's going to fund this? You. Yeah. Patreon, the best website around. Come on. Not with that attitude. Patreon.com slash B&E and Pod. You really got to sign up. Been losing a lot of people. I don't know how. I'm putting out quality stuff. That clucking hen over there, she's a rocker. What's that deal? What do you do? One a week? Bonus episode or early episode. We were doing adventure episodes. I just love that glory home material up there. You get stoned, man. I got to say, this is probably your, what, 10th time doing the show? Oh, more than that. Can't get rid of me. Gout's not going to keep me away. Nothing will. How did you get here? Did you take the subway? I did take a car. Or did you float over in a house with balloons on top of it? Are you kidding me? Fuck you guys. What reference is that? From up. You're like the old man. Tone it down. I took a car. I hate doing it, but I can't really walk around. Why are you saying that like you're Brad Pitt and you're embarrassed that you're. All right. I did. You got me. I did take a car. Everybody knows I'm a public transportation bike rider guy. Not today. Not today. This is taking me out. I'm hating it. I'm just laid up. I can't move. I haven't left my apartment's a mess because I just can't move things around. I keep getting stuff ordered in. I can't wait for this to get better. Clean up. Oh, yeah. I'll definitely move in now. Well, it'll be all fixed up by the time you get in. Tonight at midnight? Close to the end of the month. Oh, is it charging? That doesn't matter if you're not charging them, though, right? No, I'm getting them in there. What do you have? Do you have other suitors? There is a line. What's that do? That's what we do for our personal lives. Help each other out. What do you mean? We're waking you up in the morning. Let's go. Come on, Henry. We've got to start the day. I mean, if we. He's under your covers. Peek-a-boo. He's climbing up from the bottom. I mean, if we have company. Am I allowed to have guests over? Yes. There is a sound issue, but. Oh, God. I hear you. You hear me. You know, dueling fucks. Bing-a-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding. You can sleep apnea with each other out. Do you have sleep apnea? Yeah, it's untreated. Undiagnosed, untreated. My doctor at Pep Boys said I have a bit of a problem. You got a machine, right? And I need an air filter. I don't have a machine. He's going to be cutting your hose open while you're sleeping and fucking jumping into it. Like he's stealing power. I'm going to be siphoning your apnea machine. I got a whole tube going up the stairs. It'll be good. He's just blowing it on his face and stuff, wasting it. Now, I will be honest. Oh, thanks. Recently, the AC has broken. I do have a unit in there. It's fine, but it gets a little hot in the basement. I will give you my box fan. Okay? Buddy, you're telling me. You're throwing some of that kitty litter. You got a deal. Yeah. I can really change the camera. Dude, you love the camera. The cats will love you. The cats will brighten up your day. What's the dew point in the basement? The dew point? Ian Dew? Available. The point of it is for me to go to different towns. People teach you how to do your job. Yeah, a Brooklyn basement, the humidity down there with the heat. Come on. You're nuts. By the time you get over here, the AC will be fixed. It's a thermostat issue. It's fine. That's totally. Dude, you're like a bad landlord. Now, I should say. It's really your fault. Yeah. I should tell you. There's about 4,000 to 5,000 roaches. Sure. You shouldn't have tinkered around, but it's fine. Do you have roaches in your house? No, ants. You have ants? It's the season. No, it's not. Yeah, it is. I got traps around there. They're dying out. It's not Coachella. You have ants? You don't get ants? No, ants. They show up. Why are you yelling? Well, it's a. They show up. He looks like a goat. They want coffee. What can you do? I got traps. They're fine. Ant traps? There's ant traps? Yes. You've never been to a hardware store? What's the matter with you? You get ant traps. They die out. They kill the colony. Then you move on. Colony. Do that. Is there an ant season? Yes. Somebody who has ants, I think, would know that. That's what I'm saying. The ant season is upon us. And ask the queen, Aunt Tutty. Stop. Pretty good, though. Luke, you're next. Stop hitting me with that cane. That one came in so slow, it bothered the shit out of me. You should be Mr. Gadget. You could be Mr. Gadget. I love that show. Oh, it was great. I'm going to kill everyone in class. I got a bad case of ants, I do, yeah. Go, go, freak out. Go, go, Ian, crash out. Go, go, Ian. and gout ah this is the show folks yeah stop wearing that outfit you're freaking me out you look like Tony Soprano when he left is that what's about a little bit I don't like it he's gonna wear that outfit because he's a documentarian documenting us living together yeah yeah yeah uh he's a Werner Herzog Antonis the two men will fight their homosexual tendencies I'm like that guy as long as they can and then they will keep patching me I'm crawling on top of the couch let's stay out of your way I'm like that guy that lived with the bears who eventually the guys just mauled me I make one too many jokes and you guys just fucking look at each other except you're gonna be living with a bear and a twink you got one of those big parkas on you know what we're talking about even though it's a tiny apartment hey man we can see it he's got a ghillie suit on in my kitchen slash living room we're just watching tv the large one and the small one scooting closer together is it because there's a divot in the couch or are they finally giving in to their carnal desires that's pretty good I can do I can do a tank a pod I can do a Werner Herzog voice I just wasn't doing let's hear it narrate us narrate us living together bounty hunting is it I can only do what what the fuck was that I'm old I gotta let him rip I'm sorry no you don't I've been at a diner all day what do you want what are you doing at a diner all day that was a joke I don't think it was I think he told the truth realize how crazy it sounded he got nervous did you get me to get the back on the lease they are they are shutting down a diner on 23rd and 10th and it's a shame all the diners are dying in the city that's why I like LA diners I know that one I love swingers I love canters I'm there every night that's why LA is great well yeah so you're eating all that fucking salted meat I haven't been there since LA but you were there every night this yes but but I I get uh I get either breakfast oh I did get sausage but then at swingers I get a chicken breast yes I think people go with me no you think people don't go with me no I don't think people go with me no I don't think people go with me no don't want to hang out with me what's the matter with you I ask people I don't sometimes they go but they don't sit what can you do sometimes they say they're gonna come and they don't show up wait there a while it's 24 hours thank god jesus christ no but I I the the diner situation in New York is terrible that's why LA is great nice weather you would move coast for the diner I wouldn't move I would stay there for like three or four months but I'd move there if I had some friends with me was that the little guy making a sandcastle there are you talking to me yeah yeah probably thought I saw him a cute little kid all right let's get to a couple of questions here let's talk some business here hold on as you know what with the tart why couldn't you sip that I gotta take more derail a pot that's pretty good I mean it did derail the pot but it was pretty good that's the point of the meds uh do you have a hanky yeah we have a handkerchief for guests I have one I'm surprised it wasn't one of those really long ones he just keeps pulling it out ghost of pop-up's past come out of that thing when's the last time you washed that be honest last time I did longer when was that October I don't care who you are that was funny someone took his rips apart today all right let's see here uh this one's pretty funny this is from Cody ten dollar homie here never had one read are you garbage if the most famous person you ever met was buddy the cake boss whoa that's really good fondant that's not bad I gotta be honest with you I've said it once I said it a million times I've been over to that Carlos bakery and it's fucking the one in Hoboken I've been I've been to the one in Hoboken one on 42nd street I've been there too and I tell you what they're banging he's got the best cannolis I ever had so why would it be garbage to meet the guy well the I mean I think multi-seasons of the show hey that's not like it's not like he was meeting bagel boss what do you want buddy the cake guy are you on literal off no really I didn't get it literal off dude can I tell you honestly why off because I wanted to change the name because it's getting hacked okay never mind the end of it I had one lined up but yeah but you rolled a pot of all I get you know you do it off like a Zoloft so literal off literal off it's Zoloft like in the place you live a Zoloft I'm feeling I'm at the end of a pharmaceutical dad I'm getting something that doesn't work okay I could see I'd be trashing me buddy I'm he's saying the most not he's first of all I think both of you forgot the idea of the show it's not today all right that's all let's all relax and have a have a good old laugh at this uh I gotta I gotta tag for that you don't yeah I do ready uh-huh all right I I have not been far I have a clicker in my pocket that does the noise that's in your asshole sorry I was taking liar off oh my god liarful liar I wish I would have taken the day off didn't hit you can't sue me didn't touch it it's that kind of stuff that makes me fucking go crazy what that whatever you're doing you should take a pill called take a load off if you're experiencing bombing on a podcast or loneliness nothing kill yourself off oh my god cut his mic off bang and we're back question buddy the elf yeah it's trash buddy the elf buddy the elf oh my god not an elf at all six foot two you grow man okay after the cake boss I wouldn't mind having him on here yeah for sure uh is he still around would you wake up and take your pills jerk off oh shooting pain to my left arm um fingers crossed save money on rent you need someone to live with you to check on your health see I'm worried you're the kind of person you you would like put Lysol in my soup to keep me sick yeah Munchausen syndrome by proxy yeah like the chicken fucking six cents you know it's so fucked up my mom always told me she loved me more when I was sick because then I would let her like love on me and touch me and stuff this one's from uh Ashley is it from Ashley what the question yeah Ashley for real I love the name Ashley Ashley furniture I'm more of a Bob's guy but yeah was there really a Bob I think there wasn't anyway what does Ashley have to say Bob Evans let's go to Ashley thank god for Ashley I love how like in Ian's head he's like I'll save it no nevermind let's do uh let's jump to Ashley real quick Ashley in Shemokin Ashley I was just gonna do that give a pound of the cane get out of here that thing eschieves me I washed the hanky in October this never Ashley in Sheboygan isn't this the second time you've needed a cane yeah so many times I'm banged up man I I got hit by a car in 2020 I slipped my L4 L5 separated my sacrum from my pelvis uh I've had chronic back pain I got hit by a car two summers ago I think I'm picking up on the problem car rolled three times I get it the god the big man's got it out for me I'm like a cat why you gotta move into it who would you who would you who would shoot the car a guy in 2020 and then another guy in 2024 I was in a car in 2024 it rolled three times laying on the roof yeah it was terrible uh but what what can you do you know I fall down I keep going I'm a cat I got nine lives Ashley everybody uh okay his legs go in a mile a minute I'm aware it's the new metal model at a roll a little bit I am going to start taking dexatrim for my weight I hope you're kidding why you're gonna take 80s diet pills should dexatrim that mustache hey dexatrim the fat on that one it was a good one come on uh what's so bad about dexatrim I was gonna say that was lean as yeah I was trying to think of what that was lean as veal well what what's so bad about dexatrim he sours so quick on you huh what's so bad about dexatrim what do you think so bad about dexatrim dumbass I don't know what's gonna show up I don't know either I'm gonna get it but it sounds bad how am I gonna shed my little belly I can't get rid of it what are you talking about I think I body dysmorphia all the wrestlers told me I had a hot little bod that felt good yeah That's Ian Dew An odd guy doing odd jobs The episode hasn't come out yet We have to get approval from AEW Is that the one Billy Corgan owns? Hey guys Be a little lenient on me Huh? Is that the one Billy Corgan owns? Billy Corgan owns a wrestling company It's Corgan Billy Corgan Billy Corgy Billy Corgan It's not Corgan It's Corgan Billy Corgan Okay You know he had like a weird birthmark On like his whole entire right arm That made his arm red He has it, yeah Isn't that weird? Why is that weird? Because I learned about it recently I remember it happening To me What did you say you are? Cool I What were you saying? Trying to get to a question I think I just overdosed on Fidance It's like fentanyl A little dab will do ya Dexatrim's not bad Is it? I haven't started taking it yet It's over the counter It's over the counter It's gonna help me shed my little belly Dude it's fucking It's like speed Yeah Is it? Yes As a drug addict You shouldn't do it Yes Unless I'm See if you guys were living together You would catch this Yeah And we'd both be taking it I need you And you'd both be freebasing it I need it And I'd be taking pictures You don't need it Stop Just stop Dude I've changed my diet I work out I just can't get rid of this little Belly man You're 40 something years old 41 Just shut up Yeah You're not taking drugs I won't let you As your roommate Say it again That's illegal That's a legal contract right there That's a verbal handshake Verbal handshake Shake the cane if you will Honestly if you don't move in I'll do drugs Jesus Christ I like your style That is That is very good I've been telling everybody I want to kill my gout Oh my gout Oh my gout Oh my Oh my god Yeah I got you Yeah You know what Gout bless You get a little bit of a toot I do Yeah And it's the middle of the summer You're wearing a jacket By the way Back to the outfit Love the hat though Yeah what is up with How are you wearing So much clothes right now It's like 90 degrees out It's crazy I don't think it's 90 degrees out Are you trying to lose weight It's high 70s It's high 70s Are you worried about tics Is that what it is I know my pants Tucked into my socks I'm gonna do Somebody at school They were like This is how You gotta tuck your pants Into your socks I said You can't get no pussy Walking around I've gotten pussy In the woods or otherwise Yeah Don't Hanging around at the bar Looking like a fucking Schmendrick How are you You're not hot man No man Dude first of all Are you trying to shed some LBs Using the Lord's decks of trim I wish we could shed A couple of minutes Off this conversation Dude Dude What's the matter with you Fabio Why are you fucking Doing your hair so much Flabio Somebody did that Did what I think he did it Me There's a good chance There's a good chance I've made that joke before I'm checked in I was adjusting my hair Your hair's fine It's good I know Yeah Psych Doesn't it feel good To hear that You can hear it every day At my house At our house At our house Our house In the middle of the street Our house I'll make sure we always eat Our house Keep going Till you hit funny Our house I had a good one there What was it So you're not much of a Two way street guy You know Dude You have to stop farting Guys I'm sorry Can I be honest They're not smelling They're just noise I will give you that Thank you But I don't want to give you that To encourage it Well dude I'm on You know Different yogurts And the tarts You're not supposed to be eating yogurt Why Cause that's what gives you gout No The yogurts are the probiotics No dude It's all Yogurt doesn't give you gout Yes it does Look it up Luke What happened Hey Don't boss Luke around Please Please Luke Yogurt does not give you gout Yogurt seems good Thank you Alright I made it up What do you think I don't know What do you think I don't know What's going on I've researched It's top to bottom Bottom Uh huh How you doing Done some research With some tops and bottoms He's good Ashley says Yes Is it garbage If as a teenager Your blanket was an unzipped sleeping bag That's a tough look That is Yeah Although That's great We were at Cassidy's house And their Their couch cover was an unzipped Jaws sleeping bag And I was like Well he's got a kid That's like different No it's not his family's house That's Pretty bad It was their shore house Oh that's Which has been all remodeled I heard it's beautiful Jeannie Yeah let's go down there You fucking sandbagging Son of a bitch Hey Anytime you want Uncle Hank To come down there And do a couple minutes I'd be happy to come down Take you out Show you the town What A couple of minutes Are you hitting on his mom No Not in that way You gonna do stand up At Cassidy's beach house What are you talking about Doing a couple of minutes Yeah big gig Look at that I'm sorry Albany Whoa Listen This is a roommate From love in Albany Lover's quarrel Yes On that Shout out Albany Shout out Troy Shout out Rotterdam All good people Shout out Rochester Rochester Great I love that Rochester Awful town Good people Love Rochester Do you I would move up there In a heartbeat Instead of LA Really Yeah Why Rochester I don't know I like it up there I like the It's just Why I like the architecture You got fucked up At a bar one night That's not true It was a really good We always have great shows Up there It's a great place It's a good town You're right You're just telling me You just In all these things You're listening You didn't list the bar That you won't shut The fuck up about I got fucked up Yeah see At the Rochester hotel Whatever the hotel is They got a bar up there Ian I painted my masterpiece How'd you paint your What I was like all fucked up Bunch of different liquors So why do you want To go back there You guys stay away From that Just move in Take Dexatrum Rochester The people there Are like human zombies That's not true He's farting again Human zombies You look like you just Walked off fucking Kensington and whatever Allegheny Yeah K&A Yeah Rochester's good Oh okay thanks Stay away from the bar His underpants Oh wait don't they Isn't there like a really Good wing place Up in Rochester It's Buffalo Yeah Buffalo's alright too What's Ashley thank you Are you really just Move anywhere By the way Anywhere fully You'll go with it I'm gonna be at JFL Montreal In July Check me out there I keep New faces Horse faces Nothing Horse faces He was just laughing Yeah yeah yeah I got a horse face Dude you became Six different people In the last one Try to figure out Who I am You doing horse Faces up at JFL Yeah I'm doing the Nasty show In a couple showcases Check it out Nice I am supposed to Keep promoting it And I keep forgetting So you're in Montreal Head on out there There you go Check out Ian Yeah check out Ian Take that to the bank You can take that To the Walgreens To get a weird cane Yeah it was a good cane Does your mother know You're on a cane Yeah She's on a cane too She just got her knee done I mean her and I She wanted to give me Her walker She and I are just You know two peas And a fucking She be ready for preseason A blue foot Oh football Got her knee done Yeah like She got it done For this season Oh Oh What the hell What you thinking I'm not much of a sports guy I like baseball You said Tommy John I know what you mean Tommy John again Great guy Great guy Very funny comic Very funny Tommy John surgery Not so funny That makes you A lot of times Pictures come back stronger They do Yeah that's on your elbow Not your knee I know But we were talking sports You know I ate a seed it You ate a seed it Yeah it's something You do in a problem That's another pill he's on A seeded Ate a seed of me Ate a seed of me Yeah Gail's got Her knees Her knees I gotta wrap it up This is Prairie Hump Well it's been a quiet week In crazy town The rain comes from the ground He forgets we can talk So he'll start slowing down And go I can't not talk Yeah Gail Well you know what they say Finish it What's wrong with her Is she alright That's Gail She's got a de-sert Somebody Some cable Some power company He's fucking her up Well you know Everything hasn't been the same Since Asplund came into town Gail Shout out to her Shout out Gail We love you Shout out to you Ian We love you buddy We hope you feel better I love you guys Thank you Kippy what do you got for him Guys we're all over the road Get your tickets We're gonna be in Maine Cleveland Pittsburgh Atlantic City Down the shore And Denver And Denver Then we'll be announcing a fall tour I believe pretty soon Whoa No shit I don't know Just fucking roll with it What the fuck Fall tour Ian what do you got Here we go Oh boy June 56 Cleveland, Ohio And then I'm in Detroit, Michigan Syracuse, New York Appleton, Wisconsin Greenville, South Carolina Richmond, Virginia Grand Rapids Winnipeg Brookfield Saratoga Charlotte Dallas Albany again I'm going everywhere December 31st to January 2nd Pittsburgh Improv Let's sell it out New Year's Eve My birthday Come on hang out with your old pal uncle ian and i'm also playing philly helium november 5th to 7th ianfidance.com for all my tickets and dates ian do an odd guy doing odd jobs youtube.com slash ian finance comedy new episodes every other tuesday with ymh being ian with jordan is the podcast ianimal69 on instagram and shout out to the army of i'm talking shout out to the army of garbage for always coming out yes showing up and showing out you guys are the best and thank you guys too i appreciate the love you guys are two of my best shut up and uh end of a fucking pharmaceutical lab well i don't know if i'm gonna live through this i don't know the gal might get me so we love you to death and we'll see you next week bye