We Crashed a Wedding

(upbeat music) - What's up guys? We're back to "Views". We are back with a brand new episode. How is everybody feeling in the room? - Oh my God. - Woo. - Yeah. - Yeah, I got something right off the top. - I have so much off the top. This actually probably the podcast I've come in prepared with the most things. - Wow. - So you guys may not be even able to talk this episode. - Really? - Yeah. - I'll step out. - Yeah. Go ahead. Just do an outro for yourself. - Did you know that in "Woodle" you can't use the word "queef"? - Oh. - Oh fuck. - Yeah. - No, I didn't know that. - I didn't know that. - And I find that very sexist, David. - Wait, why? - I really do. - There's only women in "queef". - Wait, what is "queef"? It's a far out of your vagina. - Yep. That's what it is. - What is "queef"? - Whoa, did you hear it? And at least silent ellipsis just made. It was damn near "queef". - Kind of like "queepy". - I tried it the other night. - A "queef"? - Yeah. - And "Woodle". - I'm sorry, it breaks right now. - Crazy. - And then I looked it up, it's in the dictionary. - Well, actually speaking about vaginas. - Yeah. - I was, I woke up. - Is your charting here right now? - No, I woke up and I sort of like scratching my balls. This isn't where I wanted, this was like eighth on my list of things to talk about, by the way. It was my penis. - Okay. - But I was just thinking about like how bizarre is it that like, this is here right now, hanging for my body? Just between my legs. - I don't think that's that weird. - Your fingers are so fucking weird. - It's totally weird. - It's so weird Natalie. It's like, if I had an umbellical chord and it was hanging for my belly button still and it was still like about eight inches long, wouldn't you be like, that's fucking weird? - I agree, I think it's disgusting. I think it's so gross. - Your penis is so gross. - And the fact that I'm like so normal with it, and I like, I touch it multiple times a day. - Yeah, and it changes. - And I use it and it changes. - Yeah, it's, it's disgusting. And like, you look at girls and that's the, even part that majority of women are into them. Hmm, isn't that crazy? Majority of women like penis. - It's so weird, yeah. - Do you like penis? - No. - Actually, I'm being serious, do you, like when you're hooking up with that guy, you're like, I can't wait for that specific thing. - Yeah, I mean, yeah, that is kind of like the point, right? - It's so crazy to me. 'Cause like when I'm hooking up with a girl, I'm not looking for penis, obviously. (laughing) - What are you looking for? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, against popular belief. So I actually don't know her penis. - That's good. - Yeah, but that's, that's the one thing. Are you looking for more of like a chiseled ab? Are you looking for, are you excited about wrapping your hands around his arm or around his penis? Again, this is not what I wanted to talk about right away. I hate this, I hate that we're into this right away, but I think we're in the pocket. - His arm or his penis? I mean, I would say the body is definitely more important than the penis. - Well, you'd love hooking up with me. I've been the same body. - You're a little doughboy body. - Dude, Natalie, yesterday grabbed me 'cause she was mad at me and she squeezed my fat and she goes, ew, it's so fucking fat. - And I was like, that's, that was actually one of the most hurtful things she's ever said. 'Cause she didn't let go of us. - Oh, good. - And she was like, I'm glad you were hurt. - Are you getting fat? - Yeah, it's dude. It's fucking, he's-- - You never know with him. - I can't believe he saw it. - I saw it. - I didn't see it in my face. - No. I'm like chunkier, for sure. - Yeah, he doesn't have like, there's no, the chin to the neck is fully connected right now. - You're not doing the three hours of pickle ball anymore. - No, you need to, you need to start moving your body. - I've been doing this thing with Natalie where any time she calls me overweight, I go, I know, listen, we need to lose weight. - Which is never, I already said that the other day. - I love it, it's my favorite insult. We need to lose weight now. I know, we need to get on this. Don't worry, we'll start soon. - I'm perfectly fine. - Yeah, well, stop fucking calling me fat, squeezing my fucking tits dude. Stop worrying little ceasers. - Yo, you did the weirdest shit on the airplane. This is at the top of my list, to fucking. - Yeah. - All right. - You were a fucking weirder. You're such a weirder. - When I took the headphones up. - How did you know? - I actually thought that was like really considerate. What are you talking about? It was like so nice. - Let me set it up, let me set it up. I woke up from my nap and I was just like to myself. I'm like, you see me. - Yeah, and I'm like, I'm gonna stare at Jason for a little 'cause I feel like he's gonna do something fucking weird and like clockwork. He's, we're at the beginning of the plane. There's a woman sitting in aisle, he's window. And I see Jason get up, doesn't address the lady at all, pulls her headphones out of the TV in front of her and then walks around and then puts the headphones back in. And I was like, I was like, either this is his fifth time doing this, where they're like not even looking at each other anymore, or he's a maniac. Did you, have you, did you do that before? - Like two other times. - I did it twice during the flight. - But did you, it's so funny 'cause what you saw, you didn't see everything. Now I know why you think it was weird. She was knocked out. - Yeah, she was asleep. - A sleep. - Oh, she was? - Yeah. - She was dead the whole flight and had to get up twice. And what was it, a four hour flight? - Yeah, yeah. - So I had to get up to be twice. So I did it once and I was like, okay, I'm just gonna unplug her headphones. - The headphones are going from the TV to her ear, so it's blocking Jason's way out. - Yeah. - It's so funny. - I thought that was crazy. And she did sit completely still. - Oh, that's really funny. - But for my angle, it looked like her eyes were open. So I was like, wow, they're like really sink this up to where they're just, she didn't even fucking smile. Like you think she cracked a smile, like, oh, this is funny. He's doing it again. She didn't smile, she looked like she was still directly staring at the TV. - It's really funny. - Okay, okay, okay. So that, that was not that bizarre. - Yeah. - It was so mad on that flight, man. You were so nice. You bought me first class, which was like so fucking nice. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And so. - Well, yeah, I've made it a mental note. Whenever we travel, you're like, come on, you know, you're like 10 year, like when a teacher. Is it 10 year or 10? - No, no, no, no, no. I don't need to go first class all the time. - Oh, okay, good. - But anyways, we were getting on the plane. We were getting on-- - Matt, do you make that mental note? - Like we were getting on the plane. And I was like, all right, I'll be back in economy with John. Maybe I'll be sitting next to John, that'll be fun. And then like, right as we were getting on the plane, you told me I was in first class. I was like, oh, I was in first class. I was like, so excited. I'm like walking on the plane. I'm like, fuck, yes. And you're like right in front of me. And then in my mind, I'm like, ooh, deep in air, can we sit together? - Oh, funny. - Right, and that's where you cut it off. You're like, I'm gonna be nice to Jason. But I can't, I can't possibly sit next to him. No, if it was just me, you had to sit next to you. It's also just so nice to sit next to girls. - Why would you sit next to him? - You always sit next to Natalie. You travel with Natalie all the time. We could have hung out. - It's actually the only time I get Natalie like to listen to me. She has no choice. - Oh, she's, yeah. She's hostage. - It's actually the only time you listen to me. - Yeah, I do listen to you. I like getting work stuff done. I actually like when you talk to me about work stuff, like when it's like fun stuff, when it's like boring work stuff and you're like, you owe two posts in this fucking cup and I'm like, suck my dick, dude. I'm not fucking supposed to know. What's up big fun that she's brought up that you're excited to talk to her about? That's the best part of our job, is 80% of things that come through are like fun. Check, someone who's up today was like, do you wanna walk the stage in Shakira in Spain? And I'm like, absolutely not. But I would love to watch Shakira or meet Shakira. Like, I don't wanna walk the stage with her in Spain. - Wow. - What would that look like? - No idea. - What would that look like, Natalie? - Have you called them yet? - Yeah. - He's looking into it. - Yeah, yeah. - How does that come in? Well, they're promoting her torches on tour right now. So she wanted to like, or maybe her team, I don't know who, but they wanted to get like a couple influencers out to like make some sort of viral piece of content. So their idea of that is like, you know, going out and having a stage moment with her. - Oh, he's not like walking like a fashion show. - No, I think he's just maybe going on stage. - Yeah, I think she's probably dancing in like, for a certain song and she brings out like, 10 people to dance. - Yeah, yeah. - I don't know. And your immediate reaction is, no. - 1,000% I would never go on stage. - No, never, never, even if it was Robert Downey. - Yeah. - And he was like, come stay next to me. - Yeah. - Well, I'm an amateur. I'm like, absolutely not. That's like my least favorite kind of attention. - Really? - Yeah. - But what if you get a good bit out of it? - No. - No. - I draw the line there. - Yeah. - Stage is tough. - But Shakira, I'm a huge fan of. So I'd love to go see her. - Sure. - I'd love to go watch a show. But yeah, so usually it's fun stuff. But then a lot of times it'll be like work work stuff. You know what, you know. - I know you're talking about. - Yeah, I know. - Some of those businesses you get going. - I know. - Thank you. (laughing) - Some of those Natalie. - I'm not good at posting about my own businesses. I've talked about this before. I love my businesses. - Sure. - I genuinely think our pizza is incredible. I stand by that. - Yeah. - I think our chips are fucking great. It's actually the. (humming) I'm trying to think where it falls. 'Cause my hot cheeto is my favorite chip. But like, you can't beat a hot cheeto. No one will ever be able to buy a hot cheeto. - Why don't you make a hot cheeto? - I was trying to think if it's almost beating hot cheetos for me. I think it's waivers is really getting there. 'Cause it's like, it's a lot less heavy than a hot cheeto. Hot cheetos like, are we sure we're doing this tonight? Wavres is like, I want to snack. So I do really love it. I just, I really hate posting about 'em. - Yeah. - 'Cause I just like feel like, I just feel like, people are looking at it like why does he shut up? Why does he shut up? We know he owns this. Just, I'll fucking get out of my own business. I don't know if people even know that though. I don't feel like you're so obnoxious about your product. - No, I know. I definitely should be. - You know what you should do is you should take some time and create some awesome piece of content for waivers. - Yeah. - Yeah. I've been sitting on this fucking Dobrik's TikTok forever where you're dressed as Squidward. - Oh, fuck. - Oh. - Yeah. - The hell? - No. I really got a lock in it's like an audio where it's like who would want a crappy patty at 3 30 in the morning And then it like cuts an edit of well one day you guys will see it Mmm, and then I get my favorite comment that is I love listening to the podcast and getting to hear about this before I see it But oh do it goes up before I dies maybe we'll get it up in the next couple months We not we but me. I didn't know that your iPhone had a partner if you look up subscriptions. Yeah You could see What you're subscribed like what you're paying for mm-hmm, which is fucking incredible. Yes, because like I am really bad at like if I need to transfer something And I need to buy like we transfer or whatever. Mm-hmm. I'll buy a new membership Mm-hmm under my Apple ID and I fucking forget it. Yeah. Yeah, so I went through it and I had no idea dude. I canceled 15 subscriptions. Wow 15 subscriptions. You don't much money. I'm fucking saving. I that's Jay. Jay. I canceled my My hinge. Yeah, and you're my bumble. Oh, how much is that per month each of them? Yeah, $50 I haven't had either of those apps in over five years. Oh wow isn't that crazy? I think $50 I've been paying a hundred dollars for both of them together a month Five years is $1200 first five six thousand dollars. Yeah, it's a little over $6,600. I spent on those. Wow Crazy. How fucking dumb is that? I'm gonna see if I can like hit him up and be like yo I know that's he was like nah Do you think you could like just ask him if they could refund us like it's kind of fucked up like I didn't know Like no brother. That's exactly what they fucking hope for You probably could call and be like hey, I feel like I could be like my kid downloaded this or something Yeah, your kid my kid. They go brother. You don't have a kid. We saw your matches on bubble You're far away. You're matching with nobody brother Yeah, so guys, that's a big that's that's a big thing. I really highly recommend you go and look at your subscriptions. Yeah Also speaking of being on the phone. I saw this was interesting if an 18 year old lives to 75 Mm-hmm. If you spend eight and a half hours on the phone a day which everyone Well, not everyone most likely they do right like it's time. Yeah Eight hours a day. Yeah, it's like pretty average. That actually may be extremely low for like younger people I think it's really I think it's just right for people that work. Yeah, but if you spend eight and a half hours on the phone a day Um at the age of 75 you'll spend 19 years looking at your phone Wow. Oh my god. That's like sickening So gross. That's a fucking a wild dog. I've been trying to get rid of my phone. Put it down nine 10 years I find myself at dinners now, but I won't I don't look at it. I really try and I notice that when you were at your dinner I was I was texting the group chat. Yeah, that you were in and you didn't respond till after dinner. Mm-hmm good for you Everyone else was responding. That was that. I know you and ignoring me But except you out wow, that's that's really impressive. Uh, yeah, that's actually pretty good Do you where do you put your phone in your pocket or you put it on the table? Oh, face down. Mm-hmm The only time I check it is just check if Charlie's okay. All right, you also have those loud fucking ringtones So you'd know if something's going on. Okay, I'm working on that. I'm trying I said I saw a guy on the plane last night And he's a AI master Yeah, and he was telling me all kinds of cool stuff last night where the fuck were you? I went to a phoenix last night to that wedding. Which surprised those girls. Oh shit that couple. Sorry Congrats Bailey and Nicholas. Wait, you crashed away. We crashed a wedding. Yeah, so she had she had reached out She really wanted you to go and I told her you couldn't when we got there, but um So yeah, we just flew down to phoenix so fun Got really hold on slow down. Yeah, she DMed you. She was like it'd be great if you came to the wedding She wrote an email like a really really well-crafted email with like so many bullet points Why should come blah blah blah blah? And I was like Okay, I don't know if I can go and then she wrote a follow-up email. She's like, I'm not letting this go She's like I she's like I know you got to come. Please. Please. Oh, that's really sick. And then she DM Naveen Even and so um and so then we were just like okay. We'll just go. How old were they like 30s 25 whoa And that was really funny David. Do you remember when we went to like Iowa state or Iowa? Yeah You sat outside and you tried to throw the dart at the can for like three hours. Yes It was one of them were you with us? Yeah, it was one of them It was one of my favorite fucking moments ever because it was like I was Iowa, right? Yeah, I was state It started with literally just David and like two guys. Yeah on like an old college house There was like a beer bottle. Yeah a beer can that was on the porch It was nailed to the top of the porch and I was trying to hit it with a dart from like the sidewalk Yeah, and so we were out there for like three four hours But it started with like four people and then eventually there was like 500 people there Mm-hmm, and then you hit it and so the girl she goes oh my god She's like my phone my phone you gotta see this and she had it on her phone and her memories. Oh, that's never believe in a cheap Huh believe in a cheap believe in a cheap? Where is that the kid the kid was like drinking beers or drunk or something? Oh, and he said believe in a chick. You got to believe in a cheap And then you're like yes today. I believed and chatted cheap That's really funny. So so how did you how did you appear at the wedding? So we got there and it was really difficult because it was like Like you don't want to steal their thunder. Oh, you don't want to be in the way. Yeah, so we sat and we watched the ceremony like a hundred degree He were like could they know you were there. No, they didn't know we're there shut the fuck up Yeah, yeah, so you didn't even you're not even like we're pulling up. No Oh, that's so funny and then they and then I was like okay Navine. I know what I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it after they say I do and after they walk out. You should have objected. Oh my god That'd be so funny Well, okay, so they're walking out and yeah, so they're walking out and I'm like they're gonna walk right by us like let's do it Let's do it. Let's do it and they take like a left turn and they go up to the stairs and they start taking pictures and I'm like Fuck So then we're like waiting waiting waiting waiting. Do you think they saw you when they were walking out the the groom told me later That he did see me, but he wasn't sure if it was me. Yeah, okay, cuz there is like There's also like protocol for for walking out so everyone got the shot right. Yeah, so maybe they didn't want to stop But yeah, so then I just went over and I was like Bailey congratulations and she was like so shocked and then there was this moment wait wait wait talk about that how shocked was she? She was just like blow my mind if you shut up in my wedding in Arizona She's just like John the floor shocked and then but then there was also a moment where I was like Oh, maybe I shouldn't have come You know like I felt like that too cuz I was like She wasn't saying anything. She's just like Oh, hey, hey, whoa, okay, you're gonna be two different things John the floor She was shocked And then and then it was just like a little awkward But then I then we started to make friends with everybody and everybody was really nice And then by the end of the night she was like she was I think she was drinking and stuff and she was so happy and What was it was it uh young crowd? Yeah, it was a there was a lot of older people there too like I talked to like a lot of the dads and so I talked to her dad for a while Um, but it was everybody was like 25 everybody was from Iowa Um, and it was just fun. It was just like it was just there was a there was a A guy who's on tiktok who I really like named Jericho who was just like randomly there a guy who's like tiktok's I watch was really funny But he was like yo, what's up? Oh my god, what the hell did you did you like talk did you get so did you get like a moment with her later? Yeah, yeah, we did and then she was like what did she say? She we tried to call you. She's like can you call David and I was like yeah, yeah, I'll call him right now Fuck I didn't I called you back. That's what it was and and she's like she's like she's like that mother fuckers Like what's he doing? What's he doing and I'm like he's playing cod He's playing cod. I mean, were you were you playing cod? I was playing cod But I told you you had to surprise Taylor like you couldn't come I didn't pick I didn't I saw the call Yeah, and then I called back and I know I was playing cod because I called back and I put the phone Like right on my desktop. Yeah, so you could see me with my controller with my headset That's crazy that you guys said I was playing cod. What time was it at? Oh, we left it like nine to get that plane. So nine. Yeah, we were right when we were leaving Oh, yeah, yeah, and they were just like a really great couple and you know I thought that that was like pretty impressive of her to like You know get us there. Yeah, that's you know like that's like she's like someone who gets shit done Wow, that's really fucking was the groom like into you or was he like he was he was he was like pretty into me But it was pretty clear that she was the I mean sure tiktok is um David's sugar momma or something like that wait, what? Sugar momma or that was her tiktok or oh She was like yeah, she's like really really. Oh fuck I wish I had all your hair all past Yeah, what the fuck I didn't know that's like what there I told you to come I know but like dude the way you first said it to me was like yeah, we're crushing his wedding in Arizona And then bit by bit I started to get more information. Yeah, but you don't listen when I pitch you things you don't listen anyway So I know that's pretty and most of the time when I pitch you say I do If someone named Dobrik Sugar mom or whatever, I would have fucking gone. - Really funny. - And there was just like so many great moments, like I don't just getting out there in the world is nice. We ran into Esther's, some guy who went to Brahms with Esther. - Oh yeah, yeah. - Our waiter, that was crazy. - They just sent me a video and I was like, and I sent him to the family group chat. - Oh my god, it was funny. - And you know, Phoenix is fun. I'm trying to think what else. - I don't know if I've ever even been to Arizona. Have I? - I'm sure you've been to Arizona. - Really? No, I don't think so. - It's so nice. - Yeah. - Really? - It's such a vibe. - Fuck, just chilling. - All right, well, what were their names? - Bailey and Nicholas. - Bailey and Nicholas, congratulations. I'm so sorry. - Hmm. - Fuck, I'll be there at the next one. Bailey and Nicholas. - No, no. - No. - Bailey, whoever you marry next. (laughing) Sorry, Nicholas. It sounds like it's Bailey the one I'm coming to see. (laughing) I don't know, I'm kidding. Congratulations, guys. Hope it's the best. Wow, that's sick. - I was thinking, this is, I'm pivoting here, so don't get scared. But do you think, if you went up to somebody like a, a few other time machine, and you went up to Elton John? - Okay. - And you started humming Rocket Man. A year before he made it, he'd be able to piece it together right then and there. (laughing) - No. - Like if you walk up to him and go, ♪ I think it's gonna be a long, long time ♪ And you just like haven't listened to you and hear you. Do you think he'd be like, what the fuck are you saying? Do you think he'd like slowly be like? - He'd be like, I might, this is a genius song. - What is that? - But do you think he'd like have some sort of like, like is it, is it in him? Or did it come at a time for him? Must have came at a time, right? Like it's not like encoded in his DNA. I'm so curious and I hate that we'll never be able to get the answer to that. - Wow. - That's a deep one that that's your time travel movie. - I can't believe it. - Do you only gotta ask that question too? - Chris Martin, that's a good one. Chris Martin once told me, dude, I referenced this man, I've talked him for eight minutes. I've talked him like I grew up, like he's my father. Chris Martin once told me when he was talking about his songs, it's like how do you come up with the ideas? And he's like, more or less, I don't remember exactly because it was a long time ago, but he was like, they basically feel like they fall from the sky and they're a gift to me. Like it doesn't feel like I've come up with the songs. - Yeah. - That's fucking sick. - He's like, it just feels like I get to like be the messenger firm and I'm really lucky that I get to be that. But like when they do come out of me, I'm like, well, I love this song. And that actually makes pretty good sense. - Yeah, a lot of the greats say that. - 'Cause like yeah, that just feels like with anything that happens when you create. You know, you could shock yourself and be like, oh wow, that was pretty fucking cool. - Yeah, there's a great clip of Bob Dylan. And it's like an older interview and they were like, you wrote all these songs in the '60s and he was like, he's like, yeah, he's like, they just, they don't come to me anymore. - Yeah. - He's like, he's like, he's like, they're like, what do you mean? And he's like, I just, I'm not the same. I'm the same guy. - But that makes complete sense. - Does it? - 1,000%. - Why? - Why would creativity just leave someone? 'Cause I do, I relate to that. Like I feel that way in my mother. - 'Cause that's like, I bless creative. - I feel that with like vlogs, like dude, I hate comparing vlogs to like an incredible singer. - Sure. - Right, that's made like world-changing songs, but like when we were in it, it was genuinely, it felt like really weird. And I never wanted to bring it up. I would never want to talk about it. - Huh. - 'Cause I was like, something's happening here that like, I mean, from like vlog, from like vlog 100 something, I was kind of like, whoa, something's weird. Like I'm getting a vlog done every couple days. And my mom, I remember my parents asked me like, what are you gonna do when they stop being funny? And I didn't even have a response to that. 'Cause I was like, I can't jinx this. And I'm not bringing it up and like, - Well. - I knew they'd always get done, but I was like, I don't know how. And I was in the back of my head. I know they'd get done. But I could never address that with myself. - Mm. - And it felt like we would like, literally step and shit every day. I mean, it was fucking weird dude. Like I like to think about as being at the apartment and like all of a sudden there's someone being held hostage next door. (laughing) And you're like, what? (screaming) Like right before posting day, this is happening. And I guess it was also like, you invite that energy. - Yeah. - Well, you're operating that way. - But that's what I was trying to get at with, like a songwriter, you're inviting that energy. - Yeah. - When you're like young and ambitious and like you want to do something like really special. I think that energy finds you. Especially if you like turn those like creative wheels enough. I think you like create your own little gravity and then things start coming to you. And then when you get really good at it, things start coming to you in a less magical way. People start like really pitching you things. Do you know, it's even more obvious. It's not even serendipitous anymore. It's kind of just like, you're like a business that people are like, oh, this is the guy to go to. - And right. - Do you know what I mean? Like this, yeah, I wanna do a funny bit. This is the guy to go to. I'm gonna pitch him this. And that's when it gets really good. So yeah, I could see that. I could see like being a singer-songwriter and they're like having a moment. And then I don't know. - I think it's hard. - What singers have had multiple moments? - What do you mean? So many. They have had like big albums, like 10 years later, have another big album. - Yeah, yeah. So many Madonna, Bob Dylan. - Madonna. Had an album 10 years apart. And it like begs me. - Like Madonna was huge in like 1983, but then like-- - But again, like did it happen in like the '90s. - In the 2000s, yeah. - You know, in the 2000s, like shit. I mean, a lot of them. I mean Taylor Swift. - Yeah, Taylor Swift. - That's how the crazy career is. - She's really good at it. Yeah, I mean, I get it. Yeah, it's definitely a mindset. It's really funny. I was trying to explain to, speaking of mindset, I was playing this guy who's really good at pickle. - Yeah. - And I scream like no other ad-john. 'Cause like, I pick up on John's habits, what he's doing off court, like all I'm zeroed in on John the entire time when I'm playing. And the second I hear his voice, I'm like, John, can you please shut the fuck up? And he's got like money on me on the side. And then he'll like, be like, I got a hundred bucks on this one. And I'll hear every single word. And I'll also be like, why the fuck, why are you doing this? Like, it's just don't, like, that can't possibly be a thing. Like, and I'm trying to explain to him like, it doesn't, like, yes, my mind's broken. Like, that's why I could never be a professional tennis player 'cause I have a horrible mindset when I'm on the court. - Really? - And I get distracted by little things. And like, maybe it doesn't seem real, but the fact that it's bothering me makes it real. Like, no matter what. And I'd compare it to my mom telling me I wasn't sick when I just had allergies. And like, my throat hurts regardless. This is the same thing. I'm distracted regardless. It's costing me points regardless. What am I, where am I fucking trying to go with this? What was I talking about? - You're talking about-- - Oh, mindset, I have a bad mindset. - Have you heard that? Did you hear this thing? It's like all over to talk. It's like, they're talking about artists. And I think it's true for like social media people too. It's like how big you're, it's how famous you are is how much your nervous system can handle. - Oh, wait, yeah, where did I see that? - It's like Joe Biden read that on his podcast. And I thought that was really interesting. - Oh, I said this to Natalie. - Yeah. - I said, the most popular people are fucking insane. (all laughing) - Right, they don't have that. - No. - Thing of like, oh no, I just posted that, I feel weird. - Oh, no. - No. - No? - Yeah, I'm agreeing with you. Like, it's impossible, impossible to be removed from the internet. - Yeah. - Or the starlight, impossible unless you let yourself do it, to your, unless you do it to yourself. Anybody can power through anything. I'm, I'm saying like fucking murder and people can, you know what I mean? - Yeah. - Like anything, if you have the strong will and you're like, don't give a fuck about anything, you could be bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger after everything. That's why I like was literally talking, I was talking about a specific person. I didn't want to say who, but I'm like this person is fucking batshit insane. But there's still some of the shit that they're posting. I'm like, what the fuck is going on like this person? And I'm like, that's why they keep coming back. 'Cause it's like they just really, just don't have that part and I'm like, make some feel uncomfortable, make some feel weird, make some feel like some things. Oh yeah, yeah, that's really interesting. But it's so fucking. - Or like to be able to, too factual. - To be able to like do your thing and not be successful at it and keep at it. That's like fucking really strong will. Like that's the hard part. - Yeah. Like guys, I'm trying to get a vlog up this week, like Friday or Saturday, it's just like, we've been really behind on things. Why'd you laugh, Jay? - 'Cause I was thinking of something else. - Well, it's a different topic, but I was thinking about how you do that fake conversation thing in public. - What? - And it throws me in Natalie Off. - What a fake conversation. - David will do this thing like, if somebody's like acting weird, like let's say, let's say you're at the airport. - Oh, so funny. - And some guys like throwing like a shit fit. It has nothing to do with us, right? And then David will, go ahead. And then David will, he'll turn to like me in line and granted, I'm not as aware as he is, like I'm kind of in my own world. And he'll go, so yeah, anyways, the battery that I found at the store. - Yeah. - And I'm like, what? I'm like, well, the (mimics sound) I'm like, what do you say? And that you did it. You did it. We did it when we went to our last trip. - Yeah, okay, so we were going to Tennessee. - Yeah. - And John had my carry on bag. - Right. - And-- - Because David likes to bring technically three bags when you're only allowed to bring two. - Yeah, John had my carry on bag ahead of me. And the guys like the front door guy, whatever, the gate TSA agent is like, we're gonna have to check that. And I'm like, we're not checking bags right now because we're gonna have to wait when we get to our destination. Like, we're all carrying on for a reason. So just tell him, no, we're just gonna take it a hunt. The guys like, nope, sorry, you're gonna have to check in. And John, I could see John pointing to me like, that's his bag. Like, he doesn't have another bag. What about making some stuff up? He's like, nope, sorry, we're tagging it. So he tags it, puts the tag on it. And now we're like down the walkway of the plane. John gives me back my bag, I take the tag off. 'Cause you could take the tag off. It doesn't like fuck up anything. - Yeah. - 'Cause nobody's looking for your bags. But unless you're looking for it, but you're not. 'Cause you have it. So I take the tag off and now I have it as my carry on. And then, we're the last to board. So the fucking gate agent comes down. And now he's directly standing right behind me. And I could see, I could feel him. First of all, looking at my bag. And then John, who's about seven people ahead of me, he's trying to see if John still has his bag. Still has my bag with the tag on it. But he doesn't, 'cause I have my bag now, without the tag. And then he walks over to John and I'm like, fuck. And I'm like, Natalie, do you think that we'll be able to meet him when we land? And now he's like, what? Yeah, that's what we're doing. I'm like, okay, well, I feel like if we don't get a chance, we should probably get some food. Like, I'm not even really making any sense. But now, and then Natalie gets louder. She's like, what are you saying? What are you saying? Natalie's getting mad. And I'm like, shut the fuck up bitch. And then I turn to, turn to Jason. 'Cause I'm like, fuck, I've exhausted Natalie. This gate agent's still around us. So I'm like, yeah, Jason, I don't know if I'll be able to return it in time. And he goes, what? (laughing) How I'm just like bringing so much more attention to myself. 'Cause like-- Bro, you're the crazy one. No, for sure. You're the crazy one. Like yesterday. We need to start having a code word for when I do shit. 'Cause I, I had done that a couple times. It's always when I'm like trying to like speak something onto my flight. Or even when we were trying to plan Natalie's surprise the other day. He calls me and he's like, you're doing a bit with Natalie. Natalie thinks, you're doing, it's a bit for your vlog. And I was like, okay, okay. And he's like, okay, so call Natalie and tell her, you're text Natalie and tell her to go to Natalie's house. Not here. And I'm like, I haven't been talking to Natalie. I haven't, I haven't set up anything with her all day. No, yeah, he does that. And then I stopped. 'Cause I knew I didn't want to get yelled at. So I was like, you should just text Natalie. Yeah, and then I was like, you're telling Natalie. (laughing) 'Cause you gotta slow down. Yeah. We can't, we can't like, we can't get into your brain. Yeah, that was my fault. (laughing) That was my fault. But the point is, what do you think of seeing Heath? Oh yeah. It's not wild. It'll be in the vlog. We weren't to go see Heath. We did a lot of things this weekend. Yeah. This weekend we vlogged every day. Which is kind of crazy. And it wasn't like, it was chill vlogging. Like when now, surprise Taylor, surprise Natalie with something. Yeah. And yeah, one day we went to go see Heath. Yeah. Lives out in Tennessee. What did you think about like, that him having a baby and like, okay, yeah. Just chillin. Well, first of all. Do you see yourself in that? Yes. No. No? No. You didn't, you didn't think to yourself, oh, I'm gonna have a baby, so. I actually went out, I actually had a, so first of all, they're a kid, Tony. I'm not just saying this 'cause he's my friend. Yeah. No, I'll say it too. I never, I never talk up babies. Yeah. I'll talk this baby up. Yeah, that's fucking cool. Yeah. Does it, the babies, the babies got something. Anybody can pick them up. Yeah. Anybody. Yeah, anyone can hold them. Anyone can hold them. Almost to a point where it's dangerous. Like, Natalie was holding him and then Mariah and we were outside in the backyard. Yeah. And I was like, oh, like can we come through the front for the video? I'm like, yeah, we'll meet you out there. Yeah. And I'm like, well, take Tony's and start crying. And I'm like, no, no, he's fine. And now he just walks from the backyard around to the front door with Tony, Tony's never met any of us. No. The baby doesn't fucking peep. But it is like, it's just incredible. Didn't cry the entire time we were there. And he's what? Nine months. Nine months? And sturdy as hell. He should be. Yeah, bro, heavy little guy. That dude kind of felt like he was like five years old now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, back to him. He's substantial. Yeah, if I didn't know when he was like born, I'd ballpark him around five. Good aura. Very good aura. He really holds his own. And he's just gonna stare and you down and shit. Anyway, cool baby. Fuck with him a lot. But yeah, there was a moment where I walked out onto their deck. And I went out by myself and I was like, I'm just gonna pretend this is my place. And I'm here with my wife. It's so cute. And yeah, I just wanted to kind of figure it out. And I was like, remember, my wife was sitting there. It was just me. There's nobody there. And I'm just, this is actually how it went down. If you had a camera out in the fucking trees, it'd be this. Nope. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. No, I tried. I played it out. That nope was what that was time elapsed in my head. So I was going through weeks of living there. Right? Yeah, sure. And I'm probably my 15th day. I was kind of like, I don't think I'm gonna do this. Yeah, having a kid is tough. Yeah, it's a lot. But he is really, really fucking happy. Mariah is really happy. And they are in the exact spot they need to be and they want to be. So that's like super, super exciting. Yeah, and they spend like every minute with them, which is I think is the right way to do it. No, no, no. Remember you asked them, you guys get sitters, they're like, no, no, we just hang the Tony. Yeah, and they're like, you asked them what they do. And they're just like, we're just hanging out with Tony. Pretty fucking crazy. It is really crazy. I can't imagine like, like being a mom and then have, like just you have to be with your kid every day all day. Yep. It's crazy. Yeah, it's really, really fucking cool. It's even crazier to like, like I've known heath for a good amount of time now. Is that my first friend? Yeah, that's like my first friend that I've known for the longest to have a kid. So that was like, that was a crazy experience too. But that's what like holding heath's kid, what was so crazy is, I even told him this, I was like, this is your sperm. Yeah, that was weird when you said that. But it's just like so crazy. Just like a thing that was swimming around in heath. And now it's like out here alive. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's gross when you think about it. But like it really is impressive that him and Mariah made this thing out of nothing. Do you think when you have a baby with your wife, you'll still have like, friends living with you? Um, no. I would say probably at least one. No. Plus or minus one? No, I get, no. Like when I'm dating someone, like that becomes my best friend. And that's kind of, I don't need, I don't need my best friends there every day anymore. And if he gets mad at me because I call my friend Jeff, my best friend, she gets so mad. And I'll be like, well, I'm like, he was my best friend from college, like he is my best friend. She's like, I'm your best friend. And I'm like, OK, well, how about, you're my best friend. So what do you want me to say? You want me to say my best guy friend? Which sounds kind of. That is interesting. Sounds kind of lame. Yeah. He's my best guy friend. Fuck him. I couldn't even tell you like from an outside perspective who should take, um, seniority in that friendship because, um, yeah, it's kind of a toss up. But I think one you're having sex with, the other that's just been rumours that you've had sex with. Is this the guy that you fucked in New York? No. Oh. I need to keep saying that. Wasn't that your friend? But that was your friend Jeff, no, no, that was me and Jeff's other friend. That you fucked. Yeah, I fucked. Yeah, but I mean, like, I like saying my best friend because it's like, no, no, no, it's easy. He has like some tenure. You know what? I'm excited for most tenure. We've used that twice. I copied it. I copied your word. Fuck shit. I'm really excited for the moments like right now when I go out, a lot of it is, is like, kind of like find a girl I like. That's like a lot of the motivation for going out. Yeah. And I'm really excited to get to the point where I'm just like going out with my like, you know, Ilya, John Alex, like with my other married friends and just being like finally away from the wives and just like having the most ultimate boys night. Like just like, you know, we don't have to go to a club because we're all married. Right. Like drinking, like around poker, yeah, I don't know how to play poker. So I can't say, but yes, that vibe, like that's what I'm so excited for, but like I'm just so happy to go away. I love my favorite TikToks are the ones where I have you ever seen, like the husbands away on their golf retreats. Yeah. It's so fun watching like all the guys, they pretend like they're having a bad time. Yes. In the TikTok. Yes. Yeah. That's the TikTok. The like, oh, we have to, what was it? What was it? What was it? It's not fun at all. I miss you so much. Yeah. I miss you so much. I said I'd be back. Yeah. Yeah. We haven't been having a blast at all. Yeah. I'm really excited for it to be my fourth year. I got really jealous of Cod the other day because I thought about it. I say this to you guys all the time. You guys got to get on it. I got really jealous of it because you can spend time with your buds. You don't have to leave your house. That's crazy. That's really nice. Yeah. I know it's incredible and video games are so fucking weird that when you're in them, it feels like you're standing next to your friends I think I've said this before but I don't it's such an in it's such a weird feeling because then when I the second I step back from my laptop and go pee I'm like I'm not in there, but when you're playing it does actually feel like you It's really fucking weird it feels like I'm next to Mike and when Mike dies, I'm like oh Mike's no longer in the game like it's not it doesn't feel like it's like it's character or anything it feels really real to me I don't know it's really fucking bizarre you are in the game though I have a new Doomsday theory okay sorry sorry pivot here but I some I said character I know you don't want to hear this Jay but there I have some people out there I like when you talk about Marvel okay I like when you talk about things you're passionate about so this is what's Marvel staring at you This is my theory in the show is turning at my cock in the bath actually getting the reflection of your cock this is this is this is this is a theory I heard from someone else and I think it's really fucking good okay so basically all of the superheroes have messed with time travel from Deadpool to the original X-Men to all the Avengers everyone has used time travel to make their lives better have you did you hear when I said this yeah so it's really cool so I think Dr. Doom was affected by them using time travel to change oh how to change how things in his life played out and I think he either lost his mother or he lost his kid or he lost somebody and now he's coming back to get revenge on all these people that are fucked with time and a big theme in Avengers is when you mess with time time tends to mess back so I think that's what's going on and then in the trailer Doom says you you're all living stolen lives which I think is what they're they were supposed to be dead but they mess with time and they've like kind of cheated it so that it's they're not they're not there a lot like they basically they get to live their own life and they're stealing it from someone else because they're a mess of time did you follow that yeah did you follow it really I have trouble with time travel because the because the time was altered so somebody else's life got changed yeah okay no I got that part okay yeah do you think it's possible what is this theory coming from huh it's just something you came up with or something you saw straight off the dome no no I saw I saw you saw it yeah do you think that well if you could time travel anywhere yeah where do you think where where where where would you where was your first stop be I think we talked about this before I think I said 9/11 or the crucifix crucifixification crucifix circumference of Christ where would you go actually no that's like I'd go back I'm like in 30 seconds and so you wouldn't just put your 10 words that's a dark moment I'd be there hmm I mean I'm going back in time I don't think about that stuff you were thinking about Moses and Noah's Ark sorry two different people you were thinking about Noah's Ark yeah and what animals he didn't live on the ship yeah exactly because he got two of each right and then they got onto the ship and but like there's some animals that could have been a two headed horse no that that's what wait wait wait do I tell you to watch this before sorry I'm like being really sporadic and weird but I watched Noah's Ark or Noah the movie with Russell Crowe I think yeah and in the movie the bad guy sneaks onto the ship onto Noah onto Noah's ship the Ark and stabs one of the animals and one of the animals is like a weird fucking looking dinosaur and I thought that was like a really interesting oh really interesting addition I felt like that dinosaur never made it so I was very after life for a trick I wonder if that happened I wonder if some like animals died on the ship and the the animals also must have had like some really good like restraint there to not eat each other because the animals then had to go into the wild yeah reproduce and then the bears had to make sure not to eat certain animals before yeah yeah you guys don't give a fuckable what I have to say I mean yeah I'll go fuck myself is this is this okay we're saying that this this actually happened that he got every every animal well you know that they they've into a ship they've been speculating for the last ten years that they found Noah's Ark right have you seen that yeah it's like carved into this rock formation where the Bible actually says Noah's Ark is and like inside it now they're doing like scans of the inside and they're picking up more biological biological data inside I'm so stupid I know I'm so stupid I know I should have stayed in school is the money worth it why did I drop out of college just to be a dumb influencer a couple words together I want my old life I do feel that way at this at this point in my life I'm like I should have fucking learned something I should have just been smart you're much more well spent an average income what am I doing my friend went back to school like read a book or two I don't know how to read I wish he like just tried a little bit harder to like sound a little bit more intelligence sometimes do you want to do you want to get up with me in the morning and meet at Pete's coffee and read the paper together are you on fucking crack I'd love that no serious we'll go down we'll get two L.A. times we'll sit there like two old guys do people think we're doing a bit now that we don't know no one at Pete's coffee thinks you're doing a bit that's really funny reading a newspaper yeah you can't get the one who's papers huh people people people sit and still read newspapers no but we're gonna that's where I'm saying it anybody doing that it feels like they're doing it like you're no no all guys are in there like you know how well guys get up at like five eight papers yeah shut the fuck up yeah yeah you're going there's a guy reading the paper wow it's amazing it's not that often but so we get two papers we get to do these papers we get a couple of coffees we don't talk we just sit there and read and then I bet the podcast will be so much better because we'll be like well read is that an interest to you I think I could do that with you really yeah I'm pretty down you'll never show up no no no no no no but I will go crash more weddings with you so you let me know it with the next one I'm done crashing weddings it's too nerve-wracking don't worry I'll hold your hand the next the next one I'm excited I actually would prefer a random person's wedding over like somebody I know it was really cool to like just get out there and everybody felt like home it was like interesting they're all Midwest Midwest yeah yeah maybe that's what it was dude if you all these little tiny details if you told me Iowa they're from Iowa I would have jumped on that shit my brother I don't think he knew anything until he got there I love the Midwest I love a Midwestern wedding yeah I thought I was just like an Arizonaian thing but no this is the real fucking deal this is real love then we sat down at the table when they did this thing everyone they had they had team captain arm bands at the wedding yeah so everybody everyone like got assigned team captain I was so upset I didn't get assigned did you see that that TikTok of that couple they didn't decide yet who gets whose last name and they had each of their family members play a game of like it was like the Olympics oh wow and whatever family won that was the last name they took which is kind why I don't know it was like the groom's side or the bride's side yeah I don't know who won but I'm just saying I thought that was a really like they like take a war they played bago there's a family's all against each other kind of any imagine your I don't know how I feel about that it's bullshit because it's like kind of like eternal shame if you lose I mean yeah but that's like isn't that like that's like probably the highest level prize to play for you ever yeah I don't even I don't even think there's more I think that's more pressure than being the fucking Olympics like especially if you're the you're the father of the bride or the father of the groom yeah you just lost your like lineage that's huge and all the comments were like oh my god I can't wait to do this and I was like whoa that's crazy like I agree maybe the woman you know you should take the woman's last name so that whatever who cares but I just think it's easy to default to tradition and just take the take the guys last name rather than like people go head to head and someone fucking dot I think I was fair and love and war I don't know now you should jump in here but I think there's something nice about all fair and love and war all is fair and love and war yeah have you never heard that before oh it's pretty cool he just told you he's an idiot it's I'm not from here jump found it every time would you would you take someone's last would you want someone to take your last name um marijuana no no I'm not like particularly tied to my last name you got to let the guy have his name it's like it's a male ego thing I think right I honestly haven't really thought about it really I'd love to be David jolly David Lawrence all right guys listen that's all time we have for today I'm gonna read a book um it's been a real vibe hanging with you guys please show us for the next episode it's probably gonna be a banger once again Thursday get ready Natalie will probably be back see you then