We become friends and neighbors with Olivia Munn

[MUSIC] From NPR, and that would be easy, Chicago. This is, wait, wait, don't tell me the NPR news quiz. Hey, Easter Bunny, fill those giant ears with my voice. [APPLAUSE] I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker, Theater at the Fine Arts, Building in Chicago, Illinois. And the game, for side. [APPLAUSE] Thank you, Bill. And thanks, everyone. I'm filling in for Peter Segel, who's on Spring Break, where instead of a wet t-shirt, he's doing a dip turtleneck contest. But don't worry, we have a great show for you today. We're going to be joined by Olivia Munn, who you can catch on the Apple TV series, Your Friends and Neighbors, a show that makes the suburbs way sexier than they actually are. But first, it's your turn to make some friends. Give us a call to play our games. The number is 1-888, wait, wait, wait. That's 1-888-924, 8-924. Now let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on, wait, wait, don't tell me. I'm Niki. My name's Hannah. I'm calling from New York City. Hi, Hannah. What do you do in New York? I am a Marine Geophysicist. I mean, me too, like-- Well, that's great to me. So what does a Marine Geophysicist do for fun? For fun? On the weekends, I like to go out and play Irish fiddle. I do some quilting. Oh, my god, yeah, yeah, yeah, same, same, same, same. Well, Hannah, let's introduce you to our panel. First up, she's a comedian and a host of the TikTok series, Boy Room. It's Rachel Custer. Hi, Hannah. You sound like the pivot girl. Next up, she's a comedian who runs the bi-monthly stand-up show, Frankenstein's Baby, at Union Hall in Brooklyn. It's Joy-El, Nicole Johnson. Hey, Hannah. Come on down to our show. Where you in the whole, baby? And finally, an actor and writer. You can see with John Lutz in the improv show 2Square at the UCB Theater in New York City on April 15. It's Peter Gross. Hello, Hannah. I'll feed it. All right, Hannah, we're excited to have you here. You're going to play Who's Bill This Time. Now, Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotes from this week's news. If you can identify two of them, you'll win our prize, which is any voice from our show on your voicemail, are you ready? Sure. OK. All right. Your first quote is a headline from Astronomy magazine. "Artibus 2 Crew fixes toilet can now pee in it." So that toilet will come in handy for the crew who took off for "Where on Wednesday Night." Out of the moon. That's right, the moon. [APPLAUSE] So this week, "Artibus 2" took off on its first mission to the moon in decades. That's right. Little known fact, this whole time, we haven't been going to the moon. The launch was actually delayed because the lines at Cape Carnival TSA were so long. Oh my god. It's kind of a sign of how bad things are going on, Earth, that people are like, yeah. Can we figure out what's going on in the moon? Is that like free? Yeah, I'll take that really wet. [LAUGHTER] Oh, believe it. [APPLAUSE] Kim Kardashian over here. Yeah. I love a good conspiracy theory. It's one of my favorites that we didn't go to the moon. Well, so this is actually true. So every single previous moon mission, they just left their poop in bags on the lunar surface. It turns out the moon operates by dog owner everybody hates rules. Yeah, and it sounds like my block, like when the snow melts. And you're like, oh, come on. You can't poop in the snow and be like, oh, I bet it won't be there when the snow melts. We have to be grateful that the poop on the ground is on the ground. I mean, we can talk our smack about it, but at least it's where it belongs. That's true. Why do we want to live on the moon when dog poop would be like hitting us in the face? Yeah, in the face, all the time. Well, not with this special toilet. And actually, this mission that they're on is a test run before NASA establishes a base there to mine resources from the moon. But honestly, we can't change the moon. It'll completely mess up my period. [LAUGHTER] All right, well, here's your next quote from someone visiting the Supreme Court on Wednesday. Dumb judges and justices. Who sat in on Supreme Court arguments this week? The president. That's right. [APPLAUSE] Yeah, that is. Technically, you're booing Hannah for getting the question right. So you're allowed to talk for her. Well, you're right. This week, Donald Trump became the first sitting president to attend oral arguments at the Supreme Court. And we assumed the first president to fall asleep during oral arguments at the Supreme Court. He was just like, I love the Socratic method. I want to hear a lot of people asking questions and peppering somebody with intellectual queries. He called them dumb justices. Didn't he nominate most of them? I do that with my friends, too. I chose them, and I think they're idiots. You said that like at your birthday party. Like, look at all these idiots. I think he went probably to intimidate them. Like, oh, they won't be able to talk smack about me and my dumb ideas if I'm actually sitting in the courtroom. And then all the people that he nominated were like, this is ideas, were we stupid? Yeah, no, no, no. He probably thought Brett Kavanaugh would go, oh, Trump is here, or better be more conservative today. Kavanaugh was like, the president's here. Hide your beers, guys. We're not allowed to drink in the Supreme Court if the president's here. Honestly, I think he should have done this undercover boss style, where he's just like wearing a mustache, mopping in the corner like, don't mind me. Do you like working here? (audience laughing) All right, your last quote is a zookeeper at the National Zoo, observing some animal behavior. They should just get down the business. That zookeeper, that zookeeper was noting that for the first time ever, to what's actually seem to want to mate? I have no idea. It's not, it's not zoo employees. Yeah, although, yeah, I'm sure they all want to mate, but you're all give you a hint. It's all right there in black and white. Oh, is it the panda? That's right, the pandas. Two of the National Zoo's pandas were spotted flirting this week. This is huge news because pandas are historically lazy and don't care about sex. They're essentially the opposite of dolphins, the absolute freaks of the animal kingdom. (audience laughing) It was interesting because when you said to what, Hannah was like, I don't want to get canceled. (audience laughing) She's like, no answer to what? Being in danger of species must be so hot. (audience laughing) But it's just something like a lot of pressure though. I was in a pressure? Yeah. You thrive under those circumstances. I like it. (audience laughing) Sorry, sorry. I love it. That's what I do my best work. People are watching me. And I have to propagate my species, yeah. No, but I love the thinking of the pandas kinks. You know what I mean? We have to. One of them might have the same kink as Brian Nome. Yeah. (audience laughing) We don't know. (audience laughing) That was, was that true? Yeah. I don't know. I love that they ain't even anything. Famously no, yeah. The zookeeper do sound like a bit of a creep though. I'm just gonna put that out there. Well, I'm gonna give you a little bit of insight into how Panda business is going on right now. The pandas are actually in separate enclosures with a window connecting them. They actually flirt the exact same way human, humans do. She ignores him while he rubs his giant panda ass on the window. (audience laughing) Wait, there it's two different blinds. Yeah, I was gonna sit there. It's two different glass enclosures. It sounds like love is blind. Yeah, so this is, this is actually true. The window connecting them is called a howdy window. (audience laughing) And it honestly, it sounds like my personal nightmare. Like you're saying that my crush lives next door and can look at me at any time. I like that, then you can make sure that he's never talking to other girls. Yeah, there's actually no other girl in all of America for talk to, so. (audience laughing) But he's like, I don't know, I feel like I'm, I just wanna like shop around a little bit, you know? I don't wanna get like pinned down to one panda. Like you gotta go to China then, dude. Yeah, you also might be into koalas and brown bears, polar bears, that's all the bears I know. (audience laughing) It was like a really impressive list to go out. Thank you. Well the panda's actually won't be allowed to share an enclosure for a couple of years. At which point they will presumably pounce on each other and start going at it ruining multiple field trips. (audience laughing) All right, Bill, how did Hannah do? She knows her pandas, and they got a perfect score. Three of them. (audience cheering) All right, Hannah, great job, thanks so much for playing the game. Thank you. Bye. (upbeat music) Now, panel, I have some questions for you about this week's news. Peter, TNZ is broadening its horizons by no longer just taking pictures of celebrities. Now they're sending paparazzi to capture photos of who? Lindsey Graham at Disney World. That's right. Politicians? - Politicians, members. - Yeah. Congress, TMZ is taking a break from saying a size six woman has let herself go by pivoting to politics. This week, TMZ published a bunch of photos calling out Senator Lindsey Graham for going to Disney World during the government shutdown, even worse, in the photo, he's punching Moana. (laughing) - That's what I saw, I don't know. - Did he have one of Princess Dress? (laughing) - Also, I really was wearing a blazer. He was, and also the thing is, yes, he's unmarried so it doesn't have kids. But he was stone cold alone, which I wanna know, like, did you ask anybody to go with you? Like, would see, like, hey, Mark Warner, Democrat from Virginia, wanna reach across the aisle? Like, go to Disney World with me? Or did he ask some Republicans and they were like, - He could have been like, "Pam, I hear you have some time. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. (laughing) Yeah. And they would be like, yeah, our woman playing Maleficent is sick, he would just like to be an evil person. - I didn't realize there was something more concerning that a Disney adult is in a lone Disney adult. (laughing) - But Disney Senator is the one. - Oh, jeez. (laughing) (upbeat music) - Coming up, our panelists get freaky Monday through Thursday and our bluff, the listener game called 180, wait, wait, to play, we'll be back in a minute with more of way, way, don't tell me, from NPR. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - From NPR, and nobody be easy, Chicago, this is, wait, wait, don't tell me, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Curtis, we are playing this week with Peter Gross, Joy Elnick, Old Johnson, and Rachel Custer. And here we get as your host at the Stoodabaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Nagin, far south. - Thanks Bill. (audience cheering) - Now it's time for the way, way, don't tell me, bluff the listener game, call 1-888, wait, wait, to play our game on air, or check out the pinned post on our Instagram page at way, way, then PR. Hi, you're on way, way, don't tell me. - Hi, this is Eli from Houghton, Michigan. - Hi, Eli, what do you do in Michigan? - I am studying human factors at Michigan Tech. - Human factors. - Human factors. (audience laughing) - What does that mean? - Yeah, it's kind of how to understand how people think and then how you can design, make systems easier for people to use. - Oh, okay, so are you gonna be the reason like I don't lose my mind scrolling on something that I need to log into? - Yeah, exactly, just like that. - Thank you in advance. - So it's so nice to have you with us, Eli. You're gonna play the game where you tell truth from fiction. What's the topic, Bill? - I had a weird four days. - A whole lot can happen in just four days. This week, we came across an incredible story that unfolded over the course of four sevenths of a week. Our panelists are going, our panelists are gonna tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth, and you'll win the weight weight or of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play? - Yeah, I am. - Okay, first up, it's Rachel Koster. When Kimberly Whitney arrived at her four day silent meditation retreat in the Swiss Alps, she looked forward to the time away from her phone. Until right before check-in, she received an incredibly salacious text from her friend Kathy. The text read, "Girl, you will not believe what happened last night, voicemail incoming." But before the voicemail came, her phone was taken. Kimberly tried to clear her mind, but it was impossible. She snuck out to get her phone and listen to the voicemail. It when it's follows. Hey, Queen, I know you're like in Russia or something, but I ran into Martha who told me I can't tell anyone, but like anyway, she found out Justin secretly has 10, just when Kimberly was about to find out what Justin has 10 of. A beautiful and scary staffer found her. What have we here? She said, like Dracula or something. Kimberly's phone was taken again. Instead of enjoying the four day retreat, she paid $5,000 for. She spent every second trying to find her phone. When reflecting on her time to see an end, Kimberly said, "God forbid a woman loves gossip." And for those wondering, Justin secretly has 10 beta fish. Not worth it. [LAUGHTER] All right. [APPLAUSE] All right, a woman on a four day long retreat who can't stop looking for her phone from Rachel Koster. Your next story of 96 hours to remember comes from Joyel Nicole Johnson. You can do a lot in four days. You can go to La La Paloza, enjoy a cruise, or have sex with identical twin brothers. That's what one woman who shall remain anonymous did, in a miraculous feat that I would describe as the MVP of hoe phases. [LAUGHTER] Nameless, mic nameless sin, slept with identical twin brothers in four days, and the kicker a child came from this union. Not much is knowing about these four days and how they went down, but boy, did they? All we know is that she likes one twin more than the other. And now this iconic queen of sexual expression is in court suing to change which twin is listed as the father of the child's birth certificate. However, law, justice, Stuart Smith ruled this week that the paternity is not possible to determine because she slept with the brothers in such quick succession. Laura Parkwa added, it would be for a lower court to determine which twin should now be granted parental responsibility. And to that, I say, you ask Queen, yolo, enjoy every twin family gathering going forward. Who knows? They might have a hot cousin. [LAUGHTER] [APPLAUSE] All right, so a woman who spent four days getting it on with twins and can't tell who the baby daddy is from Joyel Nicole Johnson, your last story of a quartet of crazy days comes from Peter Gross. 22-year-old Lyla Robin was excited on Monday this week when she got her first job out of college at a marketing firm called B-squared. On Tuesday, Lyla's second day, she walked into work and found people changing the name on the front door to Harmon Marketing after that company had bought out B-squared that very morning. Lyla was a little thrown but determined to make the best out of her first work experience. On Wednesday, her third day, however, Lyla showed up to discover the Harmon Marketing Building and be converted to a combination pizza hot taco bell. But Lyla pivoted, put on her best face and attended the training session on how to make Crunchwrap Supremes. On Thursday, the fourth day, things really changed when Lyla arrived at a workplace transformed into a Lockheed Martin factory that made AI weapons systems. It's been a little confusing, said Lyla, especially since I went to school for marketing and not manufacturing AI weapons systems. But honestly, I'm just glad to have a job. On her way out of work, Thursday night, she saw a truck unloading video games, bad pizza, and giant mouse costumes. No word if she will be working at Chuck E. Cheese tomorrow. [LAUGHTER] OK. [APPLAUSE] OK, Eli. So here are your choices from Rachel Coster, a woman on a four day long silent meditation who's unable to spend a single second not looking for her phone when they hit it on her. From Peter Gross, a new graduate goes from working in marketing to pizza to weapons all in four days. And from Joyel Nicole Johnson, a woman who spent four days getting freaky with twins is unable to tell who's the father of her child, which one is real? I think it's the twins. All right. [APPLAUSE] And to find out which story is true, we spoke with someone who had some insight into the real story. While you don't know who the father is right now, you know for sure who the grandmother is. Who the grandmother is? [LAUGHTER] [APPLAUSE] That was Dr. Nancy Siegel, a psychologist and the director of the Twin Studies Center at California State University, Fullerton. Congratulations, Eli. You got it right. You earned a point for Joyel, and you've won our prize, the voice of your choice on your voice now. [APPLAUSE] Thank you so much. Thank you so much for playing with us, Eli. [MUSIC PLAYING] Now, we know your inbox is full of receipts and promotional emails you need to unsubscribe to, so we have a crazy idea. Let's put something good in there. The Pod Club newsletter is a hand-picked guide to NPR podcast. It shows up once a week and might just make you want to open your inbox for a change. Join the club and subscribe at npr.org/podclub. And now, the game where we ask people who've done a lot of things to do one more thing. We call it not my job. I'm always curious about an actor's origin story. And today's guest, Olivia Munn, started as a local news reporter in Oklahoma, went on to host a nerdy gaming show, then became a daily show correspondent, and can now be seen in your friends and neighbors on Apple TV plus. Olivia Munn, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. [APPLAUSE] So like we said, unlike a lot of actors, you got your start as a local news anchor. How did that happen? You've made my life. That sounds a lot cooler than what I did to you. This is your chance to say that that's what happened. Yeah. You don't know where you're at the Wikipedia page, in real time. I'm going to read that. I'm fluent in 18 languages. [LAUGHTER] So I graduated college, I majored in journalism. And I always wanted to get to LA, and I wanted to be an actor. But my mother's an immigrant. And so when I told her I wanted to be an actor, it was like, that's insane. We're not doing that. You're going to be a doctoral lawyer. And then I was like, I just love storytelling. So I was like, what about a journalist? And she's like, well, what exactly is that? So I pointed to the people on the news. She's like, oh, OK, OK, that's OK. And so I go there. And then she made me a deal. She was like, I'll support you if you want to go to LA. Only if you use your degree for one year. So I worked at this NBC affiliate in Tulsa, and I did the assignment desk. And people who have done journalism, have been in the newsroom, be assignment desk, is where you get all the calls, you get people calling in, with complaints, or nice things, it's just everything. But there's also all of these police scanners, which is the most important thing for you to do. There's police and fire department paramedics, and you're supposed to listen to all of them at once, and people that call it out. And I was the absolute worst person at that job. I'd be sitting there at this close to me. I'm sitting at the desk, and I hear nothing. And then you just hear a report over there and be like, there's a school bus on fire at 83rd Street. And I was like, there is. [LAUGHTER] You're probably all sowing away. It truck tipped over off the highway on 49th, and I'm like, really? Where? [LAUGHTER] And then a year to the day I went in, and I was like, I'm leaving. I'm not going to be staying here anymore. And they go, great. [LAUGHTER] But-- And they're like, woman who's bad at the assignment desk, leaves town, really? [LAUGHTER] Where'd you go that? I'm going to live in. Why do you do that? Oh my gosh, she sounds great. So you are famously in the show newsroom. What was it like to do that kind of like Aaron Sorkin dialogue? And can you say it while walking? Yeah. Was there a lot of, like, answer while walking, please? I could, one second. [LAUGHTER] My first scene that you've seen, it's a big, long walk-in talk. I remember my first take. And I speak fast, normally I just-- and then you can make me nervous, and I'm really, really fast-talking. And then they cut, and the AD came over, and was like, a director just wants you to just talk a little slower. And then I was like, oh, OK, and then Sorkin pops up. And he was like, no, no, no, no, no. He's like, talk faster, talk faster. This is great. Yeah. Like, too slow for Aaron Sorkin. I know, the baby said so. And I was like, and he was like, no, he's like, it means like I can get her to say more things. This is great. Like, he didn't realize in that moment to like that I could talk really fast. And then I was like, am I the only person in the history of Sorkin to be told to slow down Sorkin? And he was like, yes. [LAUGHTER] Well, you're now on Friends and Neighbors. And John Hans character takes to robbing his friends on that show, which made me question, which of your friends or neighbors would you like to rob? Ooh, yes. Yeah. So such a good question. [LAUGHTER] You know, when I'm in New York, there are so many more cool, rich artsy people around. And I mean, he's not-- he's my friend through my husband. So I just have to say that when I say. But don't be like, oh, he's just name dropping. Because he's not my friend. But I've picked it his house. And Steve Martin has like the best art that you can imagine. And when I go around in his place, I'm like, looking, he's explaining stuff. And I'm like, I only know like a few phrases to sound smart, or with art. And I go, like, oh, I love the use of negative space. [LAUGHTER] In fact, there's only one other thing I say go. It's really interesting how they collapse three dimensions into two. And the goal, what that means, I've heard somebody say it one. No, but you're an actor. So I really bought it. I mean, yeah. I also love how you immediately had an answer because you have scoped out that joint. Steve Martin better look out. You are right. Because we are over there for New Year's Eve party. I was like, said in my husband, let's go into the office. I was like, he's got really cool stuff on the journal. And he was like, OK, we go in there. But it's just like the coolest stuff. Like, it's really-- he's just as cool as you think he would be. Everything's cool and curated in this. And the stuff is right there. And I'm like, I have that thing where I'm just like, when I have to go to church and I was a kid, I really want to just get up and be like, ah! And so like, oh, whoa. I'm eating a kebab right next to some ridiculously expensive painting. And I just want to go back. Do you want to touch it with your kebabs? It's great. I want to feel what it feels like, like that, something else. It's something-- you know what I should go? You're like-- you're not asking you about that. And I'm just literally like, oh, shoot! Well, Olivia, we've asked you here to play a game. We're calling. Our friends and neighbors. You star in the show, your friends and neighbors. But what do you know about the NBC sitcom Friends and the Australian soap opera, Neighbors? Answer two out of three questions correctly, and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of their choice on their voicemail. Bill, who is Olivia playing for? Melissa Hosey of Greetings, Barrel North Carolina. All right. [APPLAUSE] All right, well, we'll start with friends. Here's your first question. The barista at Central Perk where the friends hung out was Gunther, played by James Michael Tyler. Gunther was only supposed to appear in a single episode. But the producers kept him around. Why? Was it A? Because Tyler was a huge nix fan, so the writers would ask him how to make Joey sounds like a real nix fan. Is it B? A network executive thought the way Tyler answered the phone was the funniest thing in the show? Or was it C? Tyler was the only one who knew how to use the espresso machine. [LAUGHTER] Just so you guys know, B and C sound a lot of like-- They're saying E. I knew. And you should say banana or cat. [LAUGHTER] I just think no. [LAUGHTER] I do believe they said cat. Nana and cat sound a lot-- I'm very sorry. Keep going. They were saying C. Yeah, I feel like that's what they were saying. That's right. The answer is C. I don't know why he wasn't miming using the espresso machine. But anyway, there it was. He actually knew how to use the espresso machine. All right, let's jump over to neighbors. Here's your next question. In a 2013 episode of neighbors, Bad Boy Kyle Channing became temporarily blind after staring directly at an eclipse. What circumstance led him to look straight at the sun? Was it A? His kidnappers held his eyes open and pointed them at the sun. Was it B? A dog stole his eclipse glasses and ran away with them. Or was it C? He was trying to win $10,000 in an eclipse staring contest. OK, the neighbors is a soap opera, right? Yeah. I'm going to guess it's B. That's right. It's B. How did you know? [APPLAUSE] The dog stole his glasses and he just looked anyway. So-- All right, back to friends. Lisa Kudrow won an Emmy for playing Phoebe on Friends, but she always had a backup plan ready. In the same year that the show premiered, Kudrow also did what? Was it A, published a study in a neurological journal testing if left-handed people are more likely to get migraines? Was it B, completed an internship at the three Michelin star restaurant, The French Laundry? Or was it C, received a patent for a leash that lets you walk five dogs at once? It's A. I call that one. It's A. That's right. It was A. [APPLAUSE] Bill, how did Olivia do on our quiz? Olivia was perfect. Three, right. [APPLAUSE] Olivia Mon is an actor who you can see on Apple TV pluses your friends and neighbors. Season two premiered this week. Olivia Mon, thanks so much for joining us. Thank you so much for having me. [MUSIC PLAYING] In just a minute, Bill tricks out his new car in the grossest way possible, it's the Listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-8, wait, wait, to join us on air. We'll be back in a minute with more of, Wait, wait, don't tell me, from NPR. [MUSIC PLAYING] From NPR and WBEC, Chicago, this is Wait, wait, wait. Don't tell me the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Rachel Custer, Peter Gross, and Joy Eln, Nicole Johnson. And here we get as your host at the Studevaker Theatre in Chicago, Illinois, the Yead Farsat. Thanks Bill. [Applause] In just a minute, we're going to absolutely blow your mind with a huge curveball, our listener, Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-8, wait, wait, that's 1-888-9248-924. But now, panel, I have more questions from this week's news. Rachel, researchers at Cornell have announced that by manipulating low-frequency sound waves, they have found a revolutionary way to do what? Um, um, telling by getting, um, yeah. Can you, can I have a hint please? Yes. Banan appeals really respond to the sound of Al Green. A sexy music makes plants grow. [Laughter] Just answer it, actually. Okay, I'll just tell you, the sound waves can wash fruit. So, we've all been praying for a new way to wash fruit. Obviously, a complicated process that can take up to 10 seconds. These researchers found that if you drunk the fruit in water, inject bubbles in the water and then add sound, the fruit gets 90% cleaner than just rinsing it. And 100% cleaner than just rubbing it on your shirt. Yeah. Honestly, who are we all kidding with that, you know? I feel like it's probably good to get all the minerals from the outside of fruits. Minerals. It's good for, it's good for your immune system to just be ingesting stuff all the time, even if it's not like necessarily what you meant to. I'm con. You wear your shoes on the bed? No, no. [Laughter] No, no. [Laughter] But they're okay on the couch, right? Right. How do you inject the bubbles like with a soda string? No, what I'm picturing is that if you want to get yourself extra clean in a, you know, you run a nice bubble bath and then you dunk your head underwater and you just start screaming and then you're just so clean. I understand why like the left and the right don't get along. The right is probably like the left is putting music in the water. [Laughter] And apparently we are. Yeah, of course. Peter. Patreon is an online platform where you can support struggling artists by paying a monthly subscription for exclusive content. So it makes sense that who started a Patreon this week? I would assume the government or Donald Trump? Here's a hint. Here's a hint, don't think twice about this answer. Wait, is that a reference to it? It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it It's Bob Dylan, don't think twice about this answer. So for just $5 a month, Dylan is offering fans the exclusive content that the legendary songwriter knows they want from him. This is true, a 70-minute essay about Aaron Burr, read by an AI voice. I'm sorry. I mean, right? I mean, just checking here, but can the Nobel committee take away someone's prize to ask him, he write it, and then AI's reading it out loud for 70 minutes. But he's always been like that. He's always been like that. I saw him as a coughing man. All right, I'll try to make this quick. I saw Bob Dylan with some friends, July 4, 1989 at Tango Wood, and it was four. I was at camp, we went to go see him on a day off when we were a counselor. We were writing down the list of songs he was playing, and we were kind of far away, but not that far away. And we didn't know the name of one of the songs. And based on what he was saying, we wrote down Chubba Chubba Sa-Sa. That's the name of the song. So he's not the clearest singer, I would like to back up right now. Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you want to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-8, wait, wait, that's 1-888-9248-924, you can see us most weeks here at the Studebaker Theatre in downtown Chicago, and catch us on the road. We'll be in Austin, Texas on June 4th. And let me tell you about something we have, cooking up our comedy grab bag stand-up show at the Bell House in Brooklyn on April 24th. It's stand-up in games, our panelists, Josh Gammel and his hosting, and he'll be joined by our very own Peter Gross and other special guests. I've been there, it's so fun, for tickets and info to all of our live events, go to nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on a way, way, don't tell me. Hi there, this is Ivan from Cherry Hill, New Jersey. Hey, Ivan, what are you doing, Cherry Hill? Well, I'm a retired lawyer and now I'm a full-time musician. Oh, all right, I didn't see that coming, but what's your instrument? Clarenette and saxophone, depending on the group I'm playing in. Oh, were you in the marching band, Ivan? I was in the marching band. Need some baby? Yeah, Clarenette and marching band. Nice, well, I love that. Welcome to the show Ivan Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limits with the last word of phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word of phrase correctly on two limits, you're a winner. Okay, let's go. All right, here's your first limit. My smartphone, I frequently check. So from chin to my chest, I'm a wreck. Crags and deep wrinkles are scattered, not sprinkled. All my tech use is aging my neck. Yes. That's right. That's it is. There's a new part of your body to feel weird about. Your neck, according to beauty experts, the more you look at your phone, the worse your neck looks, and all for the love of God, just let me live. You're where you're supposed to find out how to fix your neck if not looking down at your phone. Have you guys ever tried like reading, like laying down and reading like with your hand held up? That's supposedly one of the positions you're supposed to do. That's how you lose a tooth. All right, here's your next limit. Because I'm not a natural jack, I give muscles a jolt till I squawk. To lift weights, I'm unable. So I strap on some cables. My muscles will get a quick shock. Shock indeed. That's right. The latest fitness trend is a workout where you do body weight exercises while electricity quotes zaps your major muscle groups simultaneously for 20 minutes. Ooh, I wonder if when you look in the mirror, you can see your skeleton like in a cartoon. But also, for the love of God, just let me live. The shocks are delivered via a quote, "dap suit covered in electrodes." And by the way, you had me at "dap suit." Yeah. What if we already wear a "dap suit" to the gym? Can we just strap some of our own homemade electrodes to it? It's unbearable. Well, and if you don't want to go to the gym, you can get the same workout at home by doing one squat thrust and putting a fork in the socks. Here's your last limit. As cars creepy, don't make me get in. The seats have a sunburn built in. I really abhor the hair and the pores. I am sitting on fake human. Yeah. Skin, that's right. In order to raise awareness about the importance of wearing sunscreen while driving, an Australian company re-apholstered the seats of a Toyota Camry with simulated human skin that gets sunburned and also, for some reason, has hair. So yeah, this simulated skin burns when exposed to too much sun, which is a good reminder to take care of yourself, I guess. But it doesn't matter how great your skin is. Nobody's talking to you when you drive a human skin car. Yeah. Or if they are, they're not people that you want to talk back to. Hey, I got a car like that. Made it myself. Nice. Nice to see another person with a skin car driving around. It was a cover-up. A guy who already had a skin car was like, "Oh, it's for science." I had a plan for this, actually. Simply lady. Yeah, yeah. It's big stuff. It's all big. Yeah, no, no, no. It's to warn people about skin cancer. It's definitely why I made it. It's town without mailmen anymore. Sorry. Sorry. Bill, how did Ivan do? Ivan got them all right. Congratulations. Good job, Ivan. Thank you, Ivan. Thanks much. Bye, Ivan. Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill and the Blind. Each player will have 60 seconds to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? - You know, we have a three-way tie. - Oh, three-way. - Everybody has two. Anyway, we'll have to fight it out to the end. - All right, I'm gonna randomly select Joy L to go first. So Joy L, the clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill-in-the-blank. On Wednesday, President Trump gave a prime time address to talk about the war in blank. - Iran. - Right, on Monday, airport wait times dropped significantly as many blank workers received their first paycheck in over a month. - TSA. - Right, on Thursday, Trump fired his attorney general blank. - Pamela Bungee. - Right, this week, Connecticut was the only school whose men and women's teams both made it to the final four of the blank. - Oh, um, March Madness NCAA somebody, sports ball. - Right. This week, a group of thieves in Europe who stole 12 tons of KitKats were publicly praised by blank. Donald Trump? - No, by KitKat who said the thieves had excellent taste. - Nice. - This week, police and Michigan are facing criticism after a woman they arrested handcuffed and placed in the back of a cruiser was able to blank. - Oh, get out of the handcuffs? - She was able to wiggle out of the half open car window and escape without any of the cops noticing. - My girl. - The woman who was being arrested for a parole violation was caught on camera squeezing herself through the cruiser's half open window, wiggling her way to the ground and making a run for it as four cops stood nearby and not a single one of them noticed. It's just one of those rare cases where I'm like, "Yeah, you guys should definitely delete the body "cam footage 'cause this is embarrassing." - Yeah, fun fact about me, y'all. I got the only thing dainty about me is my wrists and I could get out of handcuffs. - What? - Yeah, listen. - Hey, Bill, how did our favorite little criminal do? (laughing) - For right, eight more points. Stuttle to 10 and Joyelle is leading. (audience cheering) - All right, so that means Rachel, you're up next. - Yes. - Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, a federal judge halted construction on Trump's proposed addition to the blank. - Ballroom. - Right, White House. This week, average blank prices in the US rose above $4 a gallon. - Right. - On Wednesday, Russia said it would continue trying to provide blank with oil despite the US blockade. - I'm not sure. - Cuba. - Cuba. (bell dings) - Thanks to a hacker, people who called the White House this week noticed that it came up as blank on their caller ID, Yonks. (laughing) Epstein's Island. (laughing) Following years of health setbacks, beloved Canadian diva, blank announced her return to the stage. - Cholindion. - Right, oh my God. - This week, a town in Missouri complained of a quote unforgettable odor after a truck spilled 40,000 pounds of blank nearby. - Fish. - 40,000 pounds of tofu. The spilled tofu sat for three weeks before cleanup began, blanking the town with an unforgettable and unavoidable stink. According to the local fire chief quote, "It was probably one of the worst smells I've ever smelled in my life and I've smelled some nasty stuff." (laughing) - Okay, brag. (laughing) Bill, how did Rachel do? - We're stuck in the loop. Rachel had got exactly the same score as Royale. - Really? - Yeah, both of them have a tab. - Yeah. - So that leaves you, Peter, fill in the blank. On Tuesday, this Supreme Court ruled that Colorado's ban on blank therapy likely violates the First Amendment. - Conversion therapy. - Right. On Wednesday, sources reported that private space company blank had filed papers to go public. - The, yes, SpaceX? - Right. On Tuesday, the FDA approved the second blank pill for weight loss. - Like, uh, was it impact or something? - The GLP blank pill. - GLP that category, yeah, okay. - This week, auctioneers estimated that one of Bob Marley's blanks would sell for over $30,000. - Old joints. (laughing) - One of his dreadlocks. - Oh, yeah, yeah. - Following a rollover crash, golf legend blank pled not guilty to driving under the influence. - Tiger Woods. - Right. This week, a new study proved that blank could be classified as a musical instrument. - The recorder. (laughing) - So great. - It's already real. (laughing) It's already really real. So close. - I don't know. - Manays. Manays is a musical instrument. According to a study by Northumbria University, Manays fits the official definition of a musical instrument. It's something that can produce or modify sound in a controlled and intentional way. This is revolutionary news for musicians, and marks the first time that you can get sick from listening to music that's been left out too long in the side. (laughing) All right, Bill, how did Peter do? - Well, in my 12 years here, we have never had a three-way tie. (audience cheering) - Oh, you guys are just equally mediocre at this day. (laughing) - Equally old. - It's really hard. - Coming up, our panelists predict after his visit to the Supreme Court this week, what'll be the next surprising place Donald Trump will show up? But first, let me tell you that. Wait, wait, don't tell me. It's a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with urgent haircut productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Gaudica writes, "Our Limericks, our public address announcer "is Paul Friedman, thanks to the staff "and crew at the Studebaker Theater, "B.J. Leaderman composed our theme, "our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, "Miles, Dornboss, and Lillian King. "Special thanks to Blythe Robertson, "Monika Hickey, and Travis Hagen. "It's been one week since Peter Gwynn looked at me. (laughing) I have a choice, our vibe curator, technical direction, Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller, our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilag. The executive producer of Wayway Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth. Now panel, where will Trump show up next, Joy L? A gold plate, a platinum line, dominated, crusted, prison cell. (audience laughing) Rachel, in his children's lives. (audience laughing) And Peter Gross. - Driving down Pennsylvania Avenue and a car made of human skin. (audience laughing) - All right, if any of those show up, you're gonna hear about 'em on "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me." (audience laughing) - Thank you, Phil Curtis. By the way, you can see me doing stand-up at the Lost Church in San Francisco in April 29th, and the Muslims are coming with equally threatening friends. Hope to see you there. In the meantime, thanks to Joy L Nicole Johnson, Peter Gross and Rachel Coster. I'm Nekin Farsad, and we'll see you next week. (audience cheering) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - This is NPR.