We admire dimes and Aasif Mandvi gives breakup advice

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm the voice so hot, the mic drops itself. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Oh, thank you, everybody. Great to see you. Thank you so much. Later on today, we're going to be talking to former Daily Show correspondent Asif Manvi, who left that show in 2017 to star in TV shows and movies and plays in which he didn't have to talk at all about the news. The man has timing. So, give us a call before we figure out a way out. The number to call is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. It's time to welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, Peter. This is Grace, and I'm calling from Peacham, Vermont. Peacham, Vermont. I'm going to say that if I wrote like a TV show set in a fictional but charming Vermont town, I'd probably call it Peacham. Is it what I imagine? Is it beautiful and verdant and filled with interesting people, Grace? You bet it is. It's a beautiful place. It's a hill town about an hour south of Quebec and 20 miles. It's from the nearest Starbucks. Whoa. Whoa. Well, Grace, let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, it's the comedian you can see April 9th at Tulalip Casino in Seattle and April 27th through May 3rd at the Comedy Cellar at the Rio in Las Vegas. It's Alonzo Bowden. Hello, Grace. Oh, hello, Alonzo. Next, she's a comedian you can see in Frederick, Maryland on April 17th at the Weinberg Center for the Arts and host of the podcast, Nobody Listens to Paula. Poundstone, it's Paula Poundstone. Hey, Grace. Hey, Paula. Love you, girl. Oh, thanks so much. And finally making his debut on our show, it's a comedian whose podcast, Coastal Idiots, can be heard every Tuesday on all the platforms. And you can catch him at the Den Theater here in Chicago as part of the Windy City Comedy Festival on August 6th. It's Shane Torres. Hi, Grace. How are you? Hi, Shane. Nice to meet you. So, Grace, you're going to play whose bill this time? Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to go? Oh, yeah, I'm ready. Here we go. Your first quote is about the new trend of people gambling on reality TV. Is it legal to take a boat to Fiji and watch the finalists on the beach with binoculars? That was a question the New York Times asked after news that people are now betting on the outcome of what reality show? Oh, gosh. I need a hint. Well, you can also bet on things like how many times Jeff Probst says, come on in, guys. Oh, Survivor? Survivor, yes. The prediction markets like Polymarket and Kalshi, they're now taking bets on the outcome of reality shows, meaning someday you might hear a small child say, Daddy had to sell the house because Kayla won The Bachelor. So, this is. So, Peter, let me ask you. Yes. Can I put a bet down? Can I put a bet down now on this show? Sure. Why not? Because I'm all in on Paula Poundstone. I think, really. Everybody. The odds, man. You can't get good odds on Paula. Yeah. If there's some sort of reality show theme during this show, I'm definitely going to be the winner. Exactly. I'm just going to say, as an experienced gambler from way back, betting on reality shows, reality shows, that's for amateurs. I put $40,000 on Youngstown. Young Sheldon dying in a fire. So, thanks to these new prediction markets, you can now bet on almost literally anything. The opening box office of the new Avengers movie, you can bet on that. The highest temperature in Des Moines, Iowa, next month. There is, this is true, a big bet on Polymarket right now on whether or not Jesus will return by the end of this year. Wow. You can bet on that. Wow. I mean, they supposedly, it's all legit, but it's a little suspicious. It's a little suspicious that a guy with the screen name Papa Leo 14 has half a million on no. You know, if we were culling, you know, if we were, you know, like the. Trying to remove the less, shall we say, productive members of society. Then I say, you just find whoever made a bet on that at all. Yeah. And that's the first bet. That's the first batch. You need to go. And, you know, it's not a popularity contest. We will, you know. We know we do. We round them up. Yeah. We put them on an island, and then we bet on that. Here's your next quote. Why are we wasting money making these? Two nickels work just fine. That was a commenter in the ABC News affiliate talking about the new what being made by the U.S. Mint. Dimes? Yes, dimes. Dimes, yes. In honor of the nation's 250th anniversary, the U.S. Mint has begun shipping out shiny new dimes. And on the front of the new dime is a profile of Lady Liberty that has replaced the old profile of FDR. It turns out we are allowed to have women on currency as long as the woman is imaginary. Sad but true. Yeah. He's just stating a fact. People. It's a little controversial because the eagle on the back used to hold arrows in an olive branch, but they have now gotten rid of the olive branch, so it's more warlike, and people are like, ah, this is Trump again. He's doing this. But no, it was actually designed under Joe Biden. In fact, Joe Biden unveiled the new dime by pulling it from behind your ear and telling you not to spend it all in one place. I think it's funny that the dime is controversial because I suspect they could have rolled out the new dimes and not said anything, and no one would have noticed. That's true. Nobody would have liked that. When have you last looked at a dime? When's the last time you used a dime? Well, now they're going to have to bring back pay phones, so we have something to do with it. That's true. I loved pay phones. Like in an airport, when you could get the kind that had the seat in it. Oh, yeah. You could close the door. Lap of luxury in there. It was, yeah, it was like a refuge. I was, I'd get in there with my phone book and just have at it. What's a pay phone? Yeah. Yeah, all the. I'm a little younger. All the Gen Z listeners just, oh, there they go again. Yeah, there they are. Talking about how good it used to be. Pay phones. Yeah. Well, even mentioning a phone book to a Gen Z-er, you have to explain, it's a book that darks to everyone. All right, we have one more quote for you. This is from the spokesperson for a mysterious artist who, until now, we've known only by his pseudonym. The artist has decided to say nothing. That artist was staying silent after his identity was finally revealed this week. Who is it? Another one? DJ Khaled? Oh, somebody help me. I have another hint. I have another hint. He was, he is famous for the paintings he puts up on the sides of buildings, including, appropriately. Banksy. Banksy, yes. Banksy. An investigation by Reuters has finally revealed the real identity of Banksy. His real name is Robin Gunningham, which I guess explains why he calls himself Banksy. It's going to be so weird now. He was this mysterious figure. Now he's just a guy. He'll be taking out the trash, and his neighbors will be like, Hey, Robin Gunningham, saw your devastating social commentary last week. Nicely done. You think his neighbors are like, so that's why there were so many spray cans. Yeah, I wonder. Every week in the trash. We just thought he was huffing it. Yeah. So does this, how does this affect the value of his work? That is a good question. Art collectors have wondered if this revelation might negatively affect the prices of Banksy's work. He's no longer that mysterious. Yeah, did with Rembrandt. Yeah, true. One Banksy dealer doesn't think so. Quote, my clients buy Banksy's art because of the art itself, he said. Lying. It's disappointing. It's just some random guy. It would have been so fun if they were like, we can finally reveal the real identity of famed street artist Banksy, and it is Shaquille O'Neal? Bill, how did Grace do on our quiz, ultimately? Grace? Grace, you got there eventually. You are a winner. Yay. Thank you, Grace. Thank you guys so much. Take care. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about the week's news. Shane Clavicular is the now famous looks maxing influencer. He's done everything to improve his appearance, up to and including smacking. smashing the bones in his face, According to a report we saw this week, he had a very surprising fan. Who was it? Oh, my God. Please. Yeah. Somebody yell, Paul the Poundstone. That would be arguably even more surprising, but it's not Paul. I would love any kind of fan, please. I will give you a hint. We don't know if his son has inherited this enthusiasm along with the leadership of Iran's Revolutionary Council. Oh, the new leader. The new president. No, actually, the old one. Oh. Yes, the now late supreme leader of Iran. According to a website called Tehran Dispatch, which seems to offer otherwise very serious reports about things going on in Iran, the late Ayatollah watched 300 hours of content from online insane person, Clavicular. This is very surprising because the Ayatollah wasn't even that hot. According to one of the Ayatollah's associates. He is familiar with the discovery, quote, there are aspects of a man's private life that are between him and God. According to God, quote, please don't drag me into this. I bet God says that a lot. Probably. Particularly now. Yeah. God wears a T-shirt that says that. I wonder if he was watching it or was his wife like, hey, look at this. Yeah. Hey, look at this. Have you ever considered shaving? Shaving the beard, maybe. Could you put the hat askew? Yeah, a little bit. A little cocky kind of thing. Yeah. Anyway, meanwhile, when asked for a comment on this, Clavicular said, quote, what's Iran? You're so pretty. Oh, so pretty. You really knock me off my feet. Coming up, our panelists take a bite out of the Big Apple in our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Shane Torres, Alonzo Bowden, and the one and only Paula Poundstone. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. Right now, it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY, our game on the air. Hi, Peter. This is Dimitri from Elon, North Carolina. Elon, North Carolina. How many signatures does the petition to change the town's name have at this point? Trust me, the school definitely has done a little bit of a rebrand. Yeah. Oh, yes, Elon University, right? Yes. Yes. Are you a student there? I just graduated from their law school back in December. Oh, really? That's awesome. Congratulations. Thank you. Yeah. And what kind of law do you anticipate doing? If I was to practice, I would want to do. Like civil rights or try to work for government agencies to make sure that, you know, things work well and work the way they're supposed to. I'm glad, I'm glad at least one person wants that to happen. I hope you get that job. Dimitri, it's nice to have you with us. You're going to play the game in which you have to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Dimitri's topic? Give my regards to Broadway. You never know what might happen on a trip to New York City. You could run into a celebrity. You could step in any number of mystery puddles. Our panelists are going to tell you about one tourist trip to the Big Apple that was so memorable that made the news. Pick the one who's telling the truth. You'll win our prize, the weight-waiter of your choice in your voicemail. You ready to play? Sure am. All right. First, let's hear from Alonzo Bowden. When Conor Langley from Dalzell, South Carolina, told his friends and neighbors he was going to New York for the first time, he was warned New York was a dangerous town where nothing was green and everyone was dangerous. Scared for the worst, Conor hit New York, and immediately he was struck by how aggressive the city was. Aggressively nice. When lost at a train station, an older lady helped him get to his hostel in Brooklyn. When staring up the Empire State Building, he realized he was in someone's way when a man yelled, hey, I'm walking here. Step aside and enjoy the beauty of our city, my friend. At Central Park, he asked a lady why New York had such a reputation. She said it was a weird thing about New York. The people are nice, but to protect that, they act mean. Conor just nodded and asked where to get some bad pizza because he was told even the bad pizza was actually pretty good. A man is stunned to find New Yorkers are filled with kind, helpful people who give you the time of day. Your next New York Minute comes from Shane Torres. This is the hardest dream of making it big in New York City. This is no different for fledgling Swedish metal band Donderkot, roughly translated to Death Breath, who this week ended their three-week American tour with a show in New York. As the band pulled up to the venue for a soundcheck, they could not believe the enormity of it. After playing 200, 300 capacity rooms the whole tour, they were now pulling up to the Javits Center, an enormous convention center in Manhattan. But no, Donderkot did not hit it big overnight. This was all a result of mistaken identity, as the band had been booked to play eight years ago at a dental convention. Because Donderkot translates to Death Breath, the slang term dentists use for halitosis, one organizer wrongly assumed the band was Dental Metal, not Death Metal. But they went ahead and played a signature song like Mouth of Hell and You Are the Cavity of My Soul to over 3,000 dentists, a.k.a. new fans. When asked by the website Metal Injection what he thought about the gig, frontman Jan Skarsgård said, I loved it. These dentists are way more disturbing. than any of our regular fans. A Swedish death metal band ends up entertaining 3,000 dentists at the Javits Center. Your last story from the city that never sleeps comes from Paula Poundstone. Faisal Mons of Schemmerhofen, Germany, came to New York City on holiday in August of 2024 to take his bite out of the Big Apple. By the time he left, he was seeking 20 million in damages. Quite a bite. In fact, Mr. Mons' alleged out-of-towner odyssey of mistreatment began when he took a bite of a taco from Los Tacos No. 1 on 43rd Street, where he says his tongue and mouth were burning and immediately worsening to gastrointestinal and emotional distress. So he sued. Days later, he tried to use his phone inside the Walmart Supercenter in Seacock, it's New Jersey, probably to buy some Pepto-Bismol. His phone wouldn't work. His phone wouldn't work inside the Walmart. So he sued. This week, all of Mr. Mons' cases were dismissed, but with international tourism at such a dismal low, the possibility of luring foreigners back to the Big Apple with a sue the crap out of New York City tour shouldn't be tossed aside. All right. Here are your choices. Somebody had a memorable trip to New York. Was it from Alonzo, a person who came expecting the worst? But received the best, so much so that he told the news about it. From Shane Torres, a Swedish death metal band found itself at the Javits Center, an enormous place filled with dentists, but was a hit anyway. Or from Paula, a German tourist who came to New York City and Secaucus, New Jersey, for the sights at such a terrible time, he sued everybody for $20 million. Which of these was the real story we found in the news about a trip to New York City? I'm not saying this is the real one, but Paula's story sounded like a tort hypothetical that, I know a lot of the 1Ls went through a couple months ago, but I think Alonzo's story is the true one. All right. Well, to bring you the correct answer, we talked to someone who reported on it. The green salsa at Los Tacos number one is not out of this world spicy. But it did cause this German tourist intestinal distress. That was Christopher Mogg, a journalist on the Metro desk at the New York Times. Talking about that German tourist's tour of the American legal system. So what I have to tell you, sir, is that Paula's story was not a hypothetical. So you didn't win, but you earned a point for Alonzo for telling a charming story about his own native city. Thank you so much for playing, and good luck as you navigate the even weirder things that happen in real life. Thank you. Take care. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. And now the game where we ask people who've done a lot to do something else. We call it Not My Job. Now, if you're like me, you first became a fan of Asif Manvi during his long run as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. But again, if you're like me, you may not have known that he's also a longtime working. actor with roles in TV, film, and theater. Right now, he is starring in a new comedy on Peacock called The Miniature Wife, and he's rehearsing for a revival of Noel Coward's Fallen Angels on Broadway. Asif Manvi, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. It's great to finally talk to you after watching you for so many years. Like I said, I always love hearing stories about like actors who were at it for a while and paid their dues. I heard this remarkable story after starting at a Disney theme park, which I love. You ended up in New York, and you did a whole bunch of jobs, and I love this, including you worked for a company that put on like murder mystery parties. Yeah, yeah. I used to perform in murder mysteries where we would go sort of incognito into these parties, and then someone would get killed, and one of the most infamous ones that I ever did. It was at an Orthodox Jewish meet. They were trying to meet people to get married. Like a singles meetup. A singles meetup thing, right? And we go in there, and. I just want to pause and say somebody organized a singles meetup for Orthodox Jews and said to themselves, you know what would make this a really great evening? Yeah, exactly. If somebody were murdered. Yeah. All right, you go in there. And so I just remember that I was, one of the other actors who I used to work with at the time was Connie Britton, and she was sort of chatting up this guy who I just remember was wearing a yellow suit, so that'll tell you everything about him. Yeah. And he thought he had, and she was really chatting him up, and he thought he had hit the jackpot. Right. It's like, this is like, this beautiful woman is talking to me, and then about 20 minutes into it, he, she was killed by that. I've had dates like that. I'm just a little sympathetic. You are, you are going on Broadway in this revival of the, the Noel Coward play with the great Rose Byrne, among many others. The other thing you have coming out is a TV show on Peacock, a comedy called The Miniature Wife. Yeah. And I heard the title, and I said to myself, oh, that must be like a metaphor. It's about a wife. She's maybe in the shadow of her husband. She feels small. That's not what it's about, is it? No, no, no. It's about a man who has, he's a scientist who has designed a, a sort of, a serum that can miniaturize crops to combat climate change. So, you know, Matthew McFadden, who I love from Succession. Yeah. And, and Elizabeth Banks, who I worked with many years ago, and is literally six inches tall. Yes. And lives in the dollhouse. Yes. For much, but they hate each other and they're constantly trying to kill each other. So it's Honey, I Shrunk the Kids meets Tom and Jerry. Did you, did you have to spend any time on set, like crouching down and pretending you're talking to a six inch high Elizabeth Banks? Yes. The, the, later in the season, I do, Matthew hides the whole storyline of his wife from me for a long time until he finally can't. And then there is a moment where he and I are both on the floor talking to a, a small cardboard cutout of Elizabeth Banks. Right. And they would sort of move her around and sort of pretend like she was walking. I have one more question for you. Like I said, at the beginning, I first knew you and became a big fan when you were on The Daily Show, but I heard a story. I don't know. I don't know how this could be true that you ended up appearing on The Daily Show the same day you auditioned for it. Yeah. How is that even possible? That is true. A couple of days earlier, I had found out that my ex-girlfriend had gotten engaged. And so I was very upset. And I was writing one of those letters. No. You know, that you write to your ex-girlfriend saying how you f***ed up, you know, you, and, and I can't say that. Can I say that? You just did. It's all right. You'll figure it out. Anyway, so I'm writing this and I get this call, uh, to come on audition for The Daily Show. And I, and I, I was in such a bad, bad place, uh, that I said, I can't come in today. I don't feel that. Can I come in tomorrow? And they said, no, if you don't come in today, then it's done. So I literally just like put on a suit and I went in and, um, I honestly just had this like attitude of like, I'm never going to get this. This is ridiculous. Like I I'm in the wrong frame of mind. And John, uh, met me and he said, uh, and I was a little bit surly. And I said, and he, cause he said to me, he said, have you, uh, uh, you know, have you ever performed in front of a live audience? And I'm, I'm looking at him and just being like, dude, I've been on Broadway. And I, I had such, but I just did my best Stephen Colbert impression. Cause that's all I needed to do. And I was a fan of the show. And, uh, and he hired me right there on the spot. And I was on the show that night. Um, and I didn't even get a chance to tell anybody. And suddenly it was just, I was on the show and people were calling me. We were like, there's a guy on The Daily Show tonight. And, uh, so I didn't even get to tell my family, uh, until after it was on. Did it comfort you? Maybe given the circumstances of the day to know that maybe your ex-girlfriend would see you on this hit, incredibly culturally significant TV show and think to herself, my God, what have I done? Um, you know, it's so funny. Uh, like the minute I got The Daily Show, um, I didn't really care about my ex-girlfriend that much. There you go. Lesson for you all. Asif Mandvi, it's a pleasure to talk to you. We have asked you here today to play a game we're calling Miniature Wife Meet Miniature Groom. So your new series is The Miniature Wife. And we're going to ask you about a place you usually find miniature brides and grooms on top of wedding cakes. Uh, answer two to three questions correctly. You'll win our prize for one of our listeners. The voice is. The voice of their choice on their voicemail. Bill, who is Asif Mandvi playing for? Linda Evers of Collinsville, Illinois. All right. Ready to play? Sure. Here's your first question. Wedding cakes have been around since at least ancient Roman times, but the tradition back then was a little different. Instead of the bride and groom cutting the cake together, what would happen? A, the bride would throw the cake as far as she could and the groom would go find it and bring it back. B, they would break the cake over the bride's head. Or C, they would put a live squirrel inside it and wait for it to eat its way out, thus cutting the cake. I'm going to go with B. Yes, you're right. They would break the cake over the bride's head. Oh, they lost a lot of good brides back then. And, um, all right, here's your next question. Wedding cakes, of course, are a tradition now, but if you were getting married in 17th century Europe, you and your guests, what would you do? Would most likely be cutting into what at the wedding celebration? Would it be A, what was known as the bride's pie, a savory pie filled with oysters, lamb testicles, and occasionally live snakes? B, potatoes, basically just dozens and dozens of potatoes. Or C, just the air or as wedding planners of the time called it a cake of the mind. I'm going to say that they would just cut into what at the wedding celebration would be A, what was known as the bride's pie, a savory pie filled with oysters, lamb testicles, and occasionally live snakes. I'm going to say that they would just cut into potatoes because they just had a lot of potatoes at the time no it was actually a the bride's pie according to wikipedia in addition to the other tasty things they would occasionally put a live snake there to quote help guests to pass the time in a wedding i guess they did that because at the time they needed entertainment and they had no djs right that's true that is true so these didn't come around until about the 1800s exactly true yeah uh you have one more chance if you get this right you win uh the one the one tradition today that every wedding expert tells you just skip it don't do it is when the groom smashes the cake into the bride's face right the bride does it to the groom one couple went so hard in the cake smashing bit uh that after they cleaned up this just happened in january they did what uh a they did it again smashing each other in the faces with the entree from dinner and then all the side dishes b they handed out cupcakes for their guests to smash on each other to join the fun or see they got divorced i'm gonna go with the cupcakes you're gonna go with the cupcakes the audience you think they got divorced the audience thinks they got divorced all right i'll go with the audience and they're right you have to listen to the audience bill how did us if mom be doing our quiz us have got two right and that makes him a winner with a little help we're all here to help each other it's a community asif manvi is an actor that soon you can see on broadway and noel coward's fallen angels starring april 19th and also if you don't want to go out on peacocks the miniature wife which starts streaming april 9th asif manvi what a pleasure to talk to you thank you so much for joining us take care break legs on broadway thank you take care bye-bye in just a minute bill heads to space with his tonic and lime in our listener limber challenge call one triple eight wait wait to join us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Alonzo Bowden, Shane Torres, and Paula Poundstone. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Stegall. Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, Bill gets all hopped up on limericks. It's our listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. Right now, a panel of some more questions for you from the week's news. Shane, appropriately for St. Patrick's Day, etiquette experts said this week that doing what at a party is actually fine. Pinching people? Uh, no. And also, what would, what would, uh, what would pinching have to do with St. Patrick's Day? If you don't wear green, you get pinched. Yeah. Ah, I see. Am I, that, that's not a thing that just happened at my house. Right. No. That would be awful if that was like. I was very panicked. If that was a terrible prank pulled on you by a mean older brother. Oh yeah, I got to pinch you. Yeah. No, no, this is, there's another. What else could be done at a party? No, something, something related to the Irish. Oh, Irish goodbyes? Yes, Irish goodbyes, it turns out, are fine. For those who don't know, an Irish goodbye is when you quietly leave a party without telling anyone, you just disappear. Some say that's bad manners, but some say it's good, but everybody can agree that the Irish goodbye is better than the nowhere else to go, last one to leave. So people have said, well, the Irish goodbye is very poor, poor manners, you should say goodbye to your host. But now a group of etiquette experts have agreed that in the right circumstances, it's actually the correct thing to do. I would think if you had a bunch of etiquette experts at your party, you would say, well, I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to Yes. As long as they left, you wouldn't care how they did it. That's true. Do you guys do the Irish goodbye at a party? Do you guys like seek out the host or do you like, I'm out. I've gone both ways, but as a host, I prefer people say goodbye. Okay. It's on the record now. If you're going to a party at Paula's house, let her know you're leaving. Yeah. Otherwise you just turn around. People are gone. It's a little creepy. But on the other hand, I have slipped out of other parties before. We've all done it. I mean, I think it depends on the size of the party. Exactly right. If it's a big party, why bother trying to find the person? It's okay. You can write them later, but if it's too small, you can't go. So like holiday party, somebody's house, totally fine. Anniversary dinner with your wife. She'll notice. Yeah. Well, you write the letter. She might. She might be glad you left. That's true. Depending how the dinner's going. Shane, a new study has found that birds around the world are picking up a fun new habit. Birds, it turns out, really like what? I mean, yodeling. Yodeling? I'm thinking, don't birds already yodel? They sing. Yeah. They don't yodel. Do it, Shane. Yodel. I'll give you a hint. Turns out it's not a coincidence that bird nests are shaped like ashtrays. They love smoking? They love cigarettes. Yes. Yeah. Have you ever seen a bird with a cigarette in its mouth and thought, where am I, Paris? Researchers in Poland have studied songbirds, and they found that some have intentionally started building cigarette butts into their nests because the chemicals in tobacco repel parasites. The birds have figured that out. It works. It's a property. What do you mean the birds have figured that out? They have. I mean, this has always been true. It's why my great uncle never had to deal with head lice until the day he died of emphysema. So this is like a. What is it, like an avian asbestos situation? It's like keeping things warm? The insulation from the cigarette butts would make their nests. No, no, no. They've actually. It turns out that they have figured out that the. They haven't figured out. They're doing it. They're all doing it. This is happening all over the world. Okay, just because they're doing it doesn't mean they figured it out. Yeah. Birds are succumbing to peer pressure. That's what's happening. That's what it is. The birds are like other birds are smoking, and like the crows are smoking, and the finches are like, well, I want to look cool, too. Yeah. And they're like, yeah. No, it's keeping up with the Red Wings Joneses. Yes. I actually go with you on this one, Peter. Yeah. I think the birds have figured it out. I'm sorry, Paula. They haven't figured it out. I think the birds figured. They said, you know what? They fly into windows. The birds, they saw the birds with the cigarette butts. They were like, those are some prettier birds than us. Right. They talk to each other. They say, you having a problem with parasites? Try, you know, Marlboro. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know where they go. 9 out of 10. The Terminators recommend Marlboros. Exactly. It's just a stupid story. No, I mean, this has actually been going on for years. I remember, I'm old enough to remember when birds actually had cigarettes inside restaurants. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. You can catch us most weeks here at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, and you can come see us on the road. For example, we will be in Savannah, Georgia on March 26th. That's next week. Come out and see us, Savannah. For tickets and information to all our live events, go to nprpresents.org. Hi, this is Sarah from Percocet, Pennsylvania. Percocet, Pennsylvania? Is that where the phrase perky came from? Because you sound excited. No, I think it's supposed to mean, like, the one who cracks hickory nuts or something. Oh, yeah, sure. Percocet, yeah. Everybody knows that. Sarah, welcome to the show. Bill Curtis right here is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two limericks, you'll be a winner. Ready to play? Yep. Let's do it. Here is your first limerick. There's a comment in outer space ooze. That's a bit of a party boat cruise. You better not snitch that it's alcohol rich. The comet is filled up with booze. Booze, yes. Scientists who are studying the interstellar comet 3I Atlas, which is currently zooming through our solar system, have discovered that it is full of alcohol. Finally, a comet that has the sense to bring a bottle of wine when it pops by. Astronomers knew something was up when they saw it weaving all over the place on its way toward the sun. But for a comet like this to rise, it's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a really work it has to be followed by another comet made up entirely of mixed nuts how do they know that the comet's filled with alcohol they went and had a sip no they find that as the as the show gets towards the end the facts become a little iffy no it's like i think it's just easy the birds are smoking the the comet is drinking everybody's stressed here's your next limerick in the evenings my mind starts to scurry and my focus on calm thoughts gets blurry but i heed sage's advice and put bad thoughts on ice until morning i postpone my worry worry yes according to a writer in the guardian to combat anxiety and stress all we need to do is stop worrying at exactly 6 30 p.m and don't start worrying till the next morning yeah it's easy because when 6 30 comes around you just stop worrying a thing you do willingly and have total control over uh now , this advice came from a therapist who said he needed to have no worry time to give his brain a rest he admits it's not easy and it takes practice and you have to go gradually right but after a couple of months of concentration and focus he was able to get all the way to 6 45 without starting to whimper i i think that's logical i understand that it's easier said than done but it does sound logical to me there are times even you know if you're if you're worrying a lot drink some water you'd be amazed how hydration changes your brain this is like when i broke my ankle playing football and i was told to walk it off here is your last limerick on the surface we bull sharks pretend that we're tough and alone till the end but i hang with shark bros where the seawater flows i get quality time with a shark bros friend friend yes researchers were stunned when they discovered that bull sharks have rich social lives and make friends they made this discovery after observing a shark take another shark to the airport uh scientists had thought that sharks lived mostly in isolation except when you know feeding on prey they observed sharks engaged in social interactions with each other like parallel swimming or lead follow behavior that's what it's called and these bonds between the sharks remain strong unless of course they start a band together i think that these researchers were watching one shark and they thought he was by himself and that shark's buddy swam up behind him and shared the researcher really and the researcher Which his last thought was, I'm glad they're friends. Bill, how did Sarah do in our quiz? Sarah will sleep well tonight. She got all three right. Congratulations, Sarah. Thank you. Well done. Thank you. Take care. Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many Fill in the Blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Paula has two. Shane and Alonzo each have three. Oh, my goodness. Paula, you're in third place. You're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question, Fill in the Blank. On Thursday, the U.K. said they were ready to join efforts to ensure safe passage through the Strait of Blank. Hormuz. Right, Hormuz. On Monday, Hormuz. Hormuz. Federal judge temporarily blocked RFK Jr.'s changes to U.S. Blank policy. Vexi. Right. This week, the confirmation hearings for DHA secretary Blank began. Mark Wayne Mullen. Right. For the ninth year in a row, Finland was named the world's blankest country. Happiest. Right. Good news for people who love the worst part of a pizza. Pizza Hut is hiring their first ever Blank expert. Crust. Right. On Thursday, NASA said they were hoping to launch the Artemis II mission to the Blank on April 1st. The moon, right. On Wednesday. Jesse Holmes and his pack of dogs won their second Blank race in Alaska. I did it right. Right. This week, pedestrians in Japan were shocked when they spotted Blank at a construction site. They spotted a Blank at a. Uh, uh, uh, uh, smoking birds. No, a mysterious. That's fine. The birds were on break. It was okay. No, they saw a mysterious 30-foot steel cylinder rising from the ground. Oh, yes. How did I. Residents of Osaka, Japan, were baffled when in the middle of a busy road, a 30-foot metal cylinder suddenly rose. It moved from the ground, halting traffic and prompting a citywide investigation. Since then, crews have managed to get most of the cylinder back underground, which means when it comes back up, it's going to be even angrier. Bill, I think Paula did rather well. Did she not? I can hardly get it out. Seven, right? 14 more points. Total of 16 puts Paula in the lead. There you are. Well, that's. So, uh. Because the others haven't gone yet. Yeah. Shane and Alonzo were tied. I'll pick Alonzo to go next. Here we go. On Wednesday, the Federal Reserve said they would keep Blank rates unchanged. Interest. Right. On Monday, President Trump suggested that Gavin Newsom couldn't be president because he is Blank. What did he say? Um, he's dyslexic? That's right. That's right. This week, Americans were concerned when the federal government registered the new domain name Blank.gov. Trump? No. Aliens.gov. According to a new study, a diet low in Blank can slow cognitive decline. Well, obviously, I haven't been eating. Yeah, exactly. Peter, I don't know if you're aware that the NCAA tournament started this week. Yeah. Well, you've been busy. You're bugging me with all these questions. I know. Sorry. It was a diet low in salt can slow cognitive decline. On Tuesday, Venezuela beat the U.S. to win their first World Blank title. Ah, World Baseball. Yeah, World Baseball Classic. Classic. Classic. This week, a large bear walking into Hershey's. The shot interrupted an L.A. TV reporter's story about Blank. Bears. Yes, bear attacks in the neighborhood. KTLA's Erin Myers was reporting live from Monrovia, California, on a series of bear attacks when suddenly a bear wandered right into frame behind her as if to say, oh, my God, are you guys talking about me? Not only did Myers keep her cool, she also told viewers, quote, this is the second time a bear has shown up on live TV with me, which is probably a sign she should stop filling her pockets with salmon. Bill, how did Alonzo do in our quiz? Four. All right. Eight more points, total of 11, and he trails Paula with 16. All right. So how many, then, does Shane need to win on his debut appearance on our show? Only seven to win. Here you go, Shane. You can do this. Oh, yeah. You got this. Sure, it'll be a breeze. Rookie luck. Here we go. This is for the game, Shane. All right. On Wednesday, Israeli officials pushed back on Trump's claim that he did not know about a strike on an oil field in Blank. Iran. Right. According to a new study, smoking Blank does not ease anxiety. Weed. Right. On Thursday, 12th seed High Point beat 5th seed Wisconsin in the first upset of the Blank tournament. March Madness, right? Yeah. NCAA. On Monday. Off to go cut down the nets? On Monday, thousands of workers at a meatpacking plant walked off the job as part of the industry's first Blank in 40 years. Strike. Strike. This week, Florida lawmakers voted to keep it legal in that state for Blanks to marry. First cousins. Yeah. According to new guidelines, experts suggest that people as young as 30 start taking drugs to lower Blank. Blood pressure? No cholesterol on Sunday. Sinners and one battle after another with the big winners at the 2026 Blank Awards. Oscar. Right. This week, a passenger browsing the plush kangaroos at a Tasmanian airport was surprised to find Blank. Blush? A real kangaroo? I don't know. Oh, so close. A real live possum. The passenger says he was delighted when he caught the possum cuddled up among the stuffed animals at the airport and that the staff was equally excited when they caught the wild animal and got him safely out of the airport. Meanwhile, the possum was like, damn, I'm never going to make my flight now. Bill, Shane did well. Did he do well enough to win? Well, he got six right, 12 more points, and his 15 comes one short. Oh. Of Paula. Great showing. There you are, Paula. Good job. Coming up, our panelists predict, now that his identity has been revealed, what will the artist Banksy do next? But first, let me tell you that Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Aircraft Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord, Philip Godica writes our limericks, our public address announcer is Paul Friedman, thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre, B.J. Lederman. Composed, our theme, our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Nurnbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Blythe Robertson and Monica Hickey. If you say Peter Gwynn's name three times, he will appear. Peter Gwynn, Peter Gwynn, Peter Gwynn. Our vibe curator is Emma Choi. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilog, and the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Michael Danforth. Now, panel, what will Banksy do next? Alonzo Bowden. Start a podcast. Why not? Shane Torres. He'll be the next Bachelorette. And Paula Poundstone. He's going to offer his services to elementary school children for their visual aids in their reports. Well, if any of that happens, panel, we're going to ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you so much, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Paula Poundstone and Alonzo Bowden. A big thanks to Shane Torres for making a great debut on our show. Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Studebaker Theatre. Thanks to all of you out there, wherever you might be. Thank you for listening. We're grateful for you. I'm Peter Sagan. We'll see you next week in Savannah, Georgia. This is NPR.