WD-40 feat. Dana Beers | Son of a Boy Dad #416

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Basically, it rewards a lot of things that I'm already spending money on anyway. To learn more about the Chase Sapphire Preferred card, go to chase.com slash sapphirepreferred. That's chase.com slash sapphirepreferred. Cards issued by JPMorgan Chase Bank, N.A. member FDIC. Subject to credit approval. Terms apply. Terms apply. Terms apply. Terms apply. - But it does still have mental anxiety. It doesn't do anything for your brain. - Just slows your heart rate down? - It just slows down your heart rate. it does well that would help me i mean yeah i remember in my most sort of fearful moments on the golf course where i thought like oh my god i'm not gonna hit this well i could feel my heart pounding in my chest definitely yeah it does help in that way but i'm just saying like mentally it does nothing boys let's experiment let's experiment with drugs like let's try these all together you would take different activities yeah honestly you'd probably feel shitty let's piss and let's have sex yeah and let's just see and just see if we uh if that shit works because it probably works for some people some people swear by it nothing works better than a good old benzo if we're being honest that's the cure i've never indulged yeah maybe that'll help the golf game i'm afraid i would like it too much i don't think yeah i mean i definitely wouldn't be doing it are you a high anxiety person in general yeah i have anxiety i'm like uh i have very general anxiety i've had i've had bouts with like panic attacks i've been on medication pretty much since i was in high school but uh you know just pretty general shit what's going on good over there i've never seen a mic stand with so many knobs i've never seen it there's this thing telescopes in 14 different ways who's who needs it to bend this much seriously i don't know look at look at how many different ways it is bending in ways i've never seen and then and then as a result there's no structural integrity whatsoever yeah these things there's there's gotta be a way to do it there's gotta be a knob i can't figure out which knob to tighten in order to get it to stop i think it's just the big one the lat the one with the knob this no no the one above that this that there we go now it's working look it's fine and i feel bad tyler you're doing a great job this is not on you obviously the angle that you've got there we go and now we're cooking so we think and then it starts doing what dana does 10 minutes 10 pumps in yeah yeah yeah yeah wilting wilting under the pressure you need to get some beta lockers for that mic stand drooping and then being like i promise this isn't about you it's me i'm stressed at work yeah are you watching uh summer house are you watching shows like that uh yeah yeah my wife loves that shit so i i it's pretty addicting by the way i love every guy that answers that question it's always like yeah my wife loves all that fucking shit shit trash shit you know dude so i'll like tune in it's never like yes i personally enjoy it and we together watch it because i've found an emotional stakes that i can if i had to guess i would say roan is leading the charge in the house to watch summer house i know all of it yeah you're definitely the one like turning it on sometimes i'll toss i'll be like why don't you toss the housewives on yeah yeah it should be on at like five o'clock except for they're they're giving you below deck at five o'clock if it was on at five o'clock i don't fuck with below deck yeah below deck what's that dude it's drama it's some bullshit it's some absolute bullshit it's just like they're on a it's the staff of a personal yacht and it's just they don't really have that much drama it's just i mean it's cool i guess as like a travel show but like the levels of what they could be doing in front of all these guests is way lower it's not as salacious yeah so it's some bullshit like we need to have the is it just like benzo it out housewives we're having public fights and like throwing glasses on and stuff like that it's just like at each other and like actually getting divorced and like stealing each other's man you've been watching rory i i was talking a little bit about it yesterday that's good shit what's rory wrote real housewives of rhode island oh okay honestly i think that like uh guys get into watching bravo shows because of sports guilt and like you watch enough sports where it's like okay like i've had uh thursday friday saturday sunday yeah like you take you take a bunch of days and we're buying but my wife doesn't quid pro quo it and like sports in return like i'm liking the shit out of her shows but she doesn't she still doesn't give a fuck about about sports oh no i my wife likes football but she i watch basketball pretty much every night and she's she hates it absolutely too diverse for her yeah basketball is boring as hell what slow the last four minutes of the game are great that's such like a old that's the lowest part though i know but that's when that's the only entertaining part no that's such an old dude take that's that sucks it's just not really for me that's all i'll leave it at that i'll leave it at that chris clemmer was talking about how uh boring the world cup is how boring soccer is and he's like it's nothing compared to baseball like baseball is awesome i was like are you fucking kidding me there's a non-stop movement in action during the world cup in baseball it's only stops and they've sped up the game baseball's that's a crazy one i didn't check the final score did you guys over end up hitting last night or no oh i didn't check either actually i didn't check either wow must be nice place a bet don't even care if it hits i would assume no must be nice it's for it was for the it's really the thrill of the chase i would never bet if i if i needed to win that tell you right bush fuck you money yeah let's see um it doesn't look like it was five to two it stayed the same yeah no it did since you've been here i've been to a couple my my uh my new number one goal in life is to catch a ball at a game but like off the bat not in warm-ups not like some dude throws it to you from the outfield i want to catch a ball while with a beer in my hand that's my number one goal in life we're talking home run are we talking foul ball and home run but you want it to be a home run you don't want home run to be so sick but foul ball is sick though either because the angle of a foul ball like a home run comes to you like like tracking a foul ball yeah it's true but you could kind of cheat the foul ball system and go to the spots where there's a lot of foul balls like you go on the on the third baseline or the first baseline but home run would be so have you have you like got tickets to like position yourself i've gone to like three or four games yeah and one of them was so close to me dude really yeah how close like 10 you're gonna get one i know you are gonna get one i told i think you have to just start speaking into existence i know it's been i've caught one at a minor league game and it was the most electrifying thing that's ever happened i caught one at a minor league game but it rolled and then i caught it i caught it off the ceiling and i caught with one hand and i gave it to a kid behind me coolest thing ever i took it like a girl wanted it and i took and i got it now in my defense this was when i was in middle school so i myself was probably only like 12 yeah yeah you take if you're the girl was like seven you take that ball she was pretty young if she's younger than you you got to give it to her now but that wasn't the rule then correct i feel like i i feel like that you take you keep that yeah i did i would now wouldn't be giving that shit up i wouldn't be i don't know if i'll be giving it up now to be honest i'm telling my kids that they have to give up the ball at any age you'll always look like a g giving up the ball i would like to get one and give it to them but if they catch a ball giving it to someone they don't have to do it it's not the rule but you'll look like a stud you find any woman and give them the ball or any little little a kid younger than you i think we got a reverse five seconds of gratification there's no lasting benefit if it gets caught on camera you're viral forever i think we gotta i think we gotta reverse that like i completely agree the trend of of you catch the ball and then you got to give it to the closest girl or child there's an entitlement children grow up thinking that they deserve souvenir home run balls will just be handed to them on a silver ball for some reason you're saying if they're if we're gonna pay equal wages to women and children we need to have them fight for the fucking ball equal rights you know where they're not giving balls to kids korea yeah yeah damn straight those kids are in school how do you know they're the ones that have balls they caught because they have the highest teenage suicide rate in the world because the pressure is so high yeah but they that doesn't mean maybe if they got a couple balls yeah you could still catch a ball and kill yourself you're less likely to do so i think i would agree i think it's like if you if i think if there's probably some sort of statistic where you could find it where it's like anyone who has caught a baseball at a game like your suicide chances go down by like 90 percent yeah because you're always going back to that but caught a ball right yeah not handed a ball oh handed a ball that's doing nothing handed a ball means like oh i need to be on pills yes yes and then one day you abuse them to try to forget about the ball that you lost correct they're really they're really doing it out there like that yeah korea is really bad south korea by the way well isn't that the less bad one it is well it's also north korea nothing is they don't really publicize anything yeah we don't know anything that's coming out of north korea so they could be it's probably much worse it's probably not allowed in north in south korea uh the academic schedule and expectations of kids is so high and so strenuous that they buckle under the pressure and end up killing themselves there was an article written about this apparently like these kids they go to school starting at 7 a.m till 3 p.m and then they like have this after school you know we would go to like soccer practice like they have english learning after school from you know 3 30 to 5 30 and then they go to like soccer practice like they have english learning after school from you 30 and then there are these like american prep programs for standardized test prep or college application essay teaching or like whatever it is to try to get get into colleges in the west and those go to like 8 30 and then they have homework until two in the morning and then at two in the morning they have not tying and gun maintenance that's right shoe polishing rifle spinning and then uh they wake up at 7 a.m start over and they can't they can't keep up but what's like the what's what's the upside what's the upside of being a south korean they have the best skin care in the world that's no there is a lot and i'm glad you asked one they a huge export for them is uh uh boy bands so it's like there's a really high chance that you wind up in a k-pop group and can harmonize brilliantly and make billions and make billions yeah k-pop k-pop and skin care okay really good skin care unbelievable skin care the best skin care products cheap yeah that's also good barbecue they also have great barbecue they have good barbecue there is upside there's really high upside but also really low downside really low massages great films yeah films good pants great films great films the koreans are the second best in the world at making films behind the nigerians behind us yeah i don't know if you're fucking with not at all parasite oh yeah old boy no yeah they got a bunch of movies man pretty much like every movie that you see that's korean i don't really watch most of them because i don't like doing the subtitles and all that but i don't really watch most of them because i don't like but like if you look on imdb there are always like 8.9 out of 10 like crazy high ratings i have a lot of respect for south koreans i love that really why why is that where that comes from so that's new yeah new risk oh i had a new found i said i would say i would i had medium respect for them before because i didn't know much about them but now i'm at a high respect level good good we wanted that would you bring it would you bring a glove to a baseball game to catch a ball oh have that soft shit that's soft as shit dude that's lame yeah are you gonna i hate foul ball guy or home run guy whatever a lot of people don't like that guy he's a pussy i hope he sees this or fight him i think that guy rules no i want to fight the man do you know who this dude is francis yeah of course what do you got there doesn't he have like a big ass i think this is a i think this is a cologne oh here why don't you open that thing up take a little whack of that yeah pass that get that get this room stinking like that cologne while we talk about who foul ball guy i'm sure this is someone's sponsor right yeah there's a there's a cooler full of cologne they literally have an igloo yeah they're keeping those uh heart transplants smelling good yeah it's not going to save your life but it's going to have your chest smelling incredible dana we have a policy of no looking at cell phones when you're on son of a boy i'm just making sure if tyler can tell me when 12 o'clock hits that's all that's all i need to know i'm sorry you got a hard out i have to do a brand shoot at 12 he's doing a cuervo commercial yeah dude always on the clock always on the clock stop he won't touch the stuff on the golf course never stopped what would you say are your big uh that's probably good for the whole room it's two spritzes yeah but that's gonna be strong all right that's good that's good smells good i want to throw it over here i want to no no no no no don't throw it to me i'm not gonna throw it to you i'm not gonna throw it to you don't because you know he's gonna like a hail mary between his fingertips as you know rome was definitely the kid in high school with like doing the axe bombs and shit you ever do that you ever see people do that what is it when you get the portable you got the little mini axe and you throw a rubber band around and you just like throw it into a locker room it's just spraying everything everywhere i've never heard of that everyone has to walk around reeking like axe the whole day i've never seen that i've never heard of that in my life but i would have loved to have done that yeah yeah i wasn't that mischievous oh wait i knew some i knew axe bomb differently i knew it to be a thing where people would like light them on fire and throw them and they'd explode oh no yeah we weren't doing that this was like in school so that probably would have been i mean i like the axe bomb version better it's a little less harmful yeah because this kid that i used to tutor he was he one day showed up with a lesson in shorts and he had horrible burns all up and down his leg and uh i was like what happened and he was like wow we were playing with axe bombs that's great and he threw one down on the ground kind of and it exploded and lit his whole leg on fire jesus we used to do uh we used to have a basketball camp back on the south shore and they would have like themed days and one of the days was call it college shirt day so people would show up in their favorite colleges this kid sanchez showed up in a collared shirt in a collared shirt dude shirt day when you first said it i was like is he saying college or college playing basketball in a polo dude like our usc and boston college that's hilarious college shirt that sanchez i think he wasn't in the marines shout out to sanchez oh hell yeah that's the worst place to like say it in boston and makes it it's like college college shirt day college shirt day yeah i could see that mix college shirt like it's kind of hard to keep track i don't blame sanchez well me neither was he local to boston he was actually a new kid yeah so even oh it was like his first third like a third day as a guy from our high school so he didn't know the tradition of college shirt day you guys ever do like uh like spirit week and all that oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah like dress up every day yeah yeah that was fun i liked that yeah i don't think anything has given me more like stress and anxiety than that just breaking down i remember we my man like me and my buddies did it and we went as like uh we did like tropic thunder and i remember like our our costumes were dog like really who is the who played the guy that does blackface because that's one of the biggest characters in traffic yeah i didn't mean tropic thunder i meant uh the back basketball one oh about ricky by uh jackie moon yeah yeah yeah yeah tropic what is it the tropic is that the name of the movie semi-pro semi-pro yeah yeah yeah oh they are flip tropics so we all wore like tropic uniforms and like we all like made them like they were really bad and i remember like second like you go we still did blackface yeah yeah one of us was andre 3000. yeah you like you like we would all like meet up in the morning and like go to school together like hang out and then we like you have to go to class and i remember like being in the outfit the whole class and then like second period like going to my next class and like seeing beau and he's just got like shorts and a t-shirt on like totally bailed and now i'm just walking around solo with this tropics uniform and no one knows what it is how many people did it just two of you i think it was i think it was three of us and peters yeah i think so too they all bailed everyone ends up bailing we all ended up bailing you're just the last to bail yeah that's we didn't bail you guys stayed strong brian ertz and i went to goodwill and we wore all kinds of nonsense that's for twin day oh hell yeah because he was a six foot three ginger as well you did twin day twin day so you have to pick a twin yeah basically and what do you wear the same clothes correct imagine getting twinned with the fat girl yeah i know and you're like now i'm a fat girl yeah not fun that would be devastating there's got to be some people that weren't appropriate twins yeah uh i was always in the dance-off what'd you hit him with in one year me and hannah wasilewski won it together what is the dance-off what's the dance-off hey son of a boy dad listeners we'll be right back but first a quick message from one of our partners football is back and with draftkings sportsbook september comes with a boost all september long opt-in and get a 50 profit boost every game day with the draftkings game day boost pass new draftkings sportsbook customers sign up with the code bss and get 50 profit boost every game day that's code bss in partnership with draftkings the crown is yours gambling problem call 1-800 gambler 1-800-my-reset connecticut call 888-789-777 visit ccpg.org on behalf of boot hill casino in kansas wage your tax pass-through may apply in illinois 21 plus in most states void in canada one football boost per customer maximum bet limits and wagering restrictions apply tokens are single use and expire at the end of the final select game each day when offered terms at sportsbook.draftkings.com slash promos all right now back to the episode it's a dance-off well i know that but you said like i was always in the dance-off well you picked two people from your class to represent the class in the dance-off oh so it was just you and one other person correct and then in the first year i didn't dance with hannah wasilewski even though she took dance and was very good dancer and they tapped us and eliminated us because we would learn later that the the group the the pairs that would actually dance together would always win so the next year hannah wasilewski and i did a lot of swing dancing stuff and we won did you guys practice no we were just kind of knew how to way around all of that is she hot uh i don't know now not back then i haven't seen hannah wasilewski in many years it would be okay if she was hot at the same age yeah true it's not like you're looking back and being like i didn't realize she's hot asking if she was hot when she was 12 or whatever yeah that's what you asked was that 12 year old hot i'm trying to picture her it's more that he's trying to picture your emotions of like we're dancing with the hot girl did you win any superlatives yeah most outspoken that's sick it's it's not as cool as it sounds actually that might be an insult kind of it's close yeah like you were known to just be that kind of sounds like you were just a dick no i think it was mostly because i i raised a stink about the fact that our biology teacher wouldn't teach evolution because she was devoutly christian really yeah and it was a public school yeah yeah and it was like evolution's one of the core blocks of biology yeah of course and she was like kind of offered it as like extra credit she was like if you guys want to research this on your own you can she would like she like straight up refused to talk about it yeah she didn't cover it yeah so what did you do how did you even know about uh well i didn't like the teacher yeah um because she was a terrible teacher sounds like it terrible yeah it sounds like she should probably not be teaching biology and uh i i wanted to i wanted to switch out of the class to the other bio teacher who was good so i had to talk to the assistant professor principal about it and i was like yeah i don't i want to switch the other teacher because this is this is a terrible class yeah these are the things that have gone wrong so far and they were like okay well we don't really have room or whatever and then i was like well how about the fact that she won't teach she won't teach evolution yeah and it's a public school and what they say they're like well technically they've she's presented the material they created some bullshit thing and then there was an article written in the like local newspaper about her and about the fact that she didn't teach evolution and they like the the journalists like took her side and then my buddy's parents who were also furious about the fact that she didn't do this wrote a letter to the journalist it was like you got fleeced that story was completely untrue damn that's crazy are you sure your superlative wasn't most likely to not be able to keep his little fucking mouth shut that's another way to put it that might be the subtext to talk about evolution get our school in hot water with the newspapers i had a teacher my sophomore year of high school and our assignment it was like our end of the year assignment it was to like write a story about i don't know some you have to like write a book pretty much like a short story and mine was about this kid named jerome who wanted to like make it to the nba why is that funny dude because you named a kid you named the kid all right so you ready for this kid with cornrows and he was just wanting to make it to the league she gave she failed me because i named him jerome really she called me racist dude that's crazy she was like you should have named him something else i was like why you're a racist and i fucking failed dude you're right i failed my end and then i never like made a stink of it or anything but like i got i failed the class because of that that's pretty crazy like there's not black kids named jerome dude yeah that's the that's the i mean i would love to see what it is racist but it's also not at the same time no question did you really fail the class i don't know if i failed the class i failed the end of the end of the year like big project did you ever fail any classes in high school no because you named a black kid jerome you should have hit her with the i'm egyptian they're true yeah i am african-american yeah let's get out of jail free right there do you think that she would have cared if you had given jerome a different aspiration like let's say jerome aspires to be a drug dealer a nasa engineer i don't know dude is jerome you would probably be like there's never going to be an astronaut to name jerome be realistic draw him should i call my mom no my mom would know better than me but that's crazy i mean she was like jerome jerome could be a white guy tyrone maybe would have been more appropriate yeah i mean i feel like it's only racist because she thought it was racist yeah she's the right i agree she is the racist you should have just been like no it's not jerome it's pronounced jerome yeah jerome yeah it's j-rome or you should have been like yeah this is my like my cousin's name yeah no i don't know but i don't even know if jerome like what kind of name is jerome right there's white jerome's historically is there i can't name one but they're out there i don't think there are any i think that isn't there like uh i thought it's like an ancient name like it's like a like an ancient greek you don't see a lot of jeromes these days no jerry seinfeld's real name is jerome his legal first name is jerome jerome seinfeld so you were being anti-semitic uh that's really jerome seinfeld jerome alan seinfeld did he spell real g or j j wow are you serious and he's it says he had cornrows growing up no but it really is jerome seinfeld this is real name wow that's great so you oh man i i wish your teacher knew this i hope she watches this bitch have you guys seen those videos of seinfeld from the what was the next game the next game with the palestine stuff yeah which is like i get like whatever it's like who i don't give a fuck about what he thinks but it's like he's pretty fucking insane about it he is pretty gleeful like it's not like he's just like i'm not gonna talk about that he's like i fucking hate palestine it's like whoa all right it's like pretty sure like you're like the only guy with that take he's walking you know he goes he goes it doesn't exist yeah that's what he said like that's crazy there's another video where he's like he he just triples down yeah it's not just like i'm not gonna like he used to do that he'd be like i'm not gonna talk about that i'm not gonna talk about palestine and now he's just like laughing in the camera i think he's been pretty he's been pretty outspoken the whole time about that issue yeah but i remember like there was wife is literally like a thought leader on it oh really yeah i've met her before fun fact really yeah you met jerome's wife what was she doing uh she was doing i was doing a cooking video for her that's a weird long story you shot it yeah that's cool yeah we're 450 episodes in we have nothing else to talk about if you want to well it was uh it wasn't that cool i was just in her apartment beautiful was her apartment or his apartment or both like was he a good question is it his wife her last name was seinfeld hold on it's got to be his wife yeah it doesn't matter but yeah it was it's a shitty story i went and filmed her name is uh shaniqua seinfeld making fucking brownies or something and i filmed it it's stupid it sucks yeah it's like the easiest thing in the world getting out of the box i was sweating balls dude so hot how did you end up in this situation i don't know is this for barstool no this is like a little side side project you're doing side projects wife it was one video for uh that dude with what's that guy's name ben oh yeah through him ben soffer yeah because you and i did the cooking video so this was after that yeah he like hit me up he's like hey i just need a camera guy for something oh you filmed it yeah yeah oh i thought you were on camera took like half an hour francis thought you betrayed him and did a cooking video you replaced francis in a video with ebony seinfeld i thought you were a nice lady yeah very nice yeah um i'm sweating balls dude unless you're living in palestine probably not the nicest lady you know the reason that you know the reason why he said it doesn't exist no well that's like the debate is that neither side recognizes each other as like a country i thought he meant because it's palestine that i don't understand it's it's actually a long debate it's really long it's too fucking toxic to like i'm not listening i'm not gonna get into it 60 years yeah yeah so nice to bring on dana beers to talk palestine well i am middle eastern and african-american oh egypt ironically yeah is hey you're pretty involved i'm in that bitch ironically i'm in it let my people go when dana wasn't egypt does have some great history oh yeah is egypt are they in like are they any any shit they're all shit right now but i don't think it's anything crazy like i think a lot of refugees are going to egypt i think that they're taking in a lot of middle eastern refugees yeah and people want them a lot of them to go to egypt i also heard that they're like pushy about tourism if you want to get a uh if you want to go to the pyramids someone's going to make you take a tour or something like that - Have you ever gone back? - I've never been. has been and i tell the story but a monkey jumped on his shoulder stole his hat that's the story that's pretty crazy i mean that's pretty crazy story yeah i know like if i saw that i would be like holy shit i know very efficiently it's also funny that you started that by saying i told this story i've told it many times i'd imagine it's pretty quick my dad went and that happened that's my egypt story i mean you could tell that story a hundred times a day i know i don't have old that's my only egypt story my grandfather was 100 egyptian i only know him i was a doctor but i don't really know him moses that i i never knew him i don't know why i'm saying i don't really know him i don't know him i've never known him his name was ibrahim did you uh did you have any cats um cats get a pool oh that doesn't really have a sphinx did he have a sphinx that he asked him riddles or anything no dude but my grandma wrote a book called in the in the shadow of the sphinx really yeah what kind of book like a book oh shit like a real book damn what good i think i don't think he meant like was it a physical book or a in her head i think he meant like was it a novel was it a children's book was it a was it like a history book or like a story a story like made up like a non or a fiction tale i have i can't lie i never took the time to read it true my grandma wrote a book that i didn't it's a long book i guess that's true i don't know why i'm laughing your grandma wrote a book about what are you yeah bookworm polish what are you yeah i tried to play like the the card of like you didn't read a book that your grandma wrote but then i was like my grandma lives in the same city as me and we don't see each other no my my grandparents are smart and i'm like the dumbest fucking guy no i was gonna start the episode with this you're the fakest dumb guy i'm not i am i play it up in certain situations but there i am i'm pretty fucking dumb watch any trivia competition and you know sports dude i know sports so what if you have the ability to know all that you could know a lot of other things yeah probably but i don't want the ability to like process information well being a smart guy who presents as dumb is infinitely better than being a dumb guy that presents as smart oh yeah for sure that's what i do that's what i do and then knows a lot of people yeah presenting smart but i'm actually fucking retarded it's so nice to to finally acknowledge that though whenever you can yeah like i'm actually i definitely play it up a little bit especially with francis like in our show but 90 of the time it's a real me yeah people always that's the thing over and always asks me is he really that dumb but he's actually smart athletic and handsome it's actually fucking annoying yeah you are handsome uh the problem is the problem is though at my peak i'd be the hottest guy here my peak was in 2011 like 15 fucking years ago that dude it was me and me and timmy driscoll at hingham high school holy shit i was the hottest fucking guy and then i got fat and now i'm like right now i'm like i'm 30 pounds away from my peak but if i'm peak i'm dude i'm hot i'm not hot let's see a picture of you at cha-ching oh no you got great i'm talking about how hot he is it's like god's way of being like shut up that's crazy yeah it's a bad one too you can tell his legs vibrating get it pushes pushes toe towards his that is i'm not touching that fucking doughy foot of his you need more water dana no i went on a run last night that's why i'm okay well i would still say drink more water i definitely would say more water yeah what does that have anything that's more of a reason to drink water yeah i need you need water no i went on a run yesterday yeah no when i'm hydrated when i'm at my peak i'm the hottest guy in this fucking office right no i just it's because i sat out in the hot sun all day i don't need this has nothing to do with water that was one of the craziest things i've ever seen i'm just hung over and that was what we needed that might take us to the next level under quenched talking about being at your peak and then getting a charlie horse mid-sentence sitting still sitting still and getting a fucking injury i can relate but i need to see the chichingum pictures i need to see how hot you truly were hot dude you went who charlie who me and timmy driscoll timmy driscoll now it's al pompio al pompio's fucking wrong charlie horse charlie horse you ever go to the charlie horse in plymouth no i used to work in plymouth's great restaurant would you work at a little south shore talk dude yeah why not for all our social listeners we have a lot it's probably a good amount charlie's from the the nice part oh i know so sure so no i'm not a real guy i'm not a real dude i'm not a real hingham guy that's what they call it that's what they call it that's what they call it yeah this is the thing all these guys they all say deluxe bear they're all from cohasset and hingham i'm not okay here's the thing though i'm from the fucking hood dude i grew up on cape cod where'd you grow up hyannis uh sandwich which is i know it's not the hood i'm kidding my grandma that's where my mom's from is sandwich all right so sandwich is not a country store it's not like overly nice and then we moved to hang on one of the nicest places i've ever been we used to spend our whole summer there it's like a drug capital fucking world dude um we grew up on the cape and like you know middle class home and then my mom remarried to a guy in hingham my stepdad and he and then we moved from hingham after four years because we're like we don't fit in here yeah yeah so it's like we're not hingham people they're way richer than us and you're fucking you're a deluxe dude cape uh the cape does have crazy drug problems it does very especially that like that general like hyannis yeah hyannis is fucking hyannis is worse than like most like states like west virginia it's really bad it's really bad is it like heroin yeah everyone's on heroin to school with or in heroin kids i went i didn't go to school in hyannis but my uh my sister's husband did and my mom did and like they both have like crazy stories about like teachers getting just carried out midday what yeah yeah dude so next time you want to fucking say to ching them i'm from the streets bro of sandwich did you ever go to the dead end street store no the cul-de-sacs of hingham my dad still lives in barnstable barnstable is a great area it is these sound really nice all of them six hours a day six hours a day six hours a day six for sandwich no no it sounds like ass no sandwich is really nice i know but they have to rename it from the rough parts of uncrustable isn't that where that shark attack was where that guy died like a couple years ago probably i'm from the cuban part of sandwich you know sandwiches sandwiches hey son of a boy dad listeners we'll be right back but first a quick message from one of our partners it's fran from chicks in the office the weather is getting cooler and abercrombie's fall drop has everything i need for the season the best-selling anf sloan tailor pant is a closet staple for me i'm always wearing it to work events happy hour anytime i want to be a bit more dressed up and the viral dylan dress is easy one and done perfection but my fall uniform will always be denim paired with a henley sweater a bra free top it's comfortable effortless it just never fails find your fall capsule at abercrombie shop in the app online and in stores all right now back to the episode would you say uh do you think you like chicago more than than you like to new york or you were you were always kind of in jersey though i was i lived in new york for three years and then i went to jersey for two years and then long island i i like chicago i think the people are nicer just in terms like the actual city yeah not the people in the offices it's just i never loved new york i don't know i never like i'm more of a boston massachusetts guy and i never like fit in in new york city but i feel like it's a little it's a little cleaner here definitely um slower paced i don't know what that means no i would agree it's definitely buzzwords but i i don't know if i like that about people walk slower on the sidewalk yeah i i never like found an like a a neighborhood that i love in new york city so i don't know maybe i didn't give it a good chance but it is there's a lot of neighborhoods it's like you can't like try living in all the neighborhoods you kind of have to be like this is my best guess of a neighborhood that might be decent yeah i was wrong it's like okay i'll try another one in one year yeah i was in astoria and then i was in west village which i didn't hate west this is sass and stomping grounds i'm i was in west village now i'm in astoria really yeah yeah and when i was in the story i lived with um a kid and his girlfriend i've told this story the johnny the that's okay Okay, we tell a lot of stories a few times on this podcast. Fucking the monkey and the lizard. So I live with this kid that I went to high school with, but I didn't really know him. He was just kind of like two years below me and his girlfriend, and then he moved out in the middle of the fucking lease. It was just me and the girl. They broke up? Yeah, he just moved to France. France? Yeah, it was me and the girl. That's crazy. What'd you do? I don't know. She had a little lizard, dude. Remember the lizard? Johnny. Johnny? And I don't know. We just chilled. Did you hook up with her? No, no. Was it awkward? Did you try? No. Why not? She was super nice, but like. It would have been uncomfortable. That would have been. We just didn't really cross paths much. I would get home from work, and she'd be. I think she had a weird work schedule, so we just didn't really see each other. Was she really sad when the boyfriend left? Or did she break up with him? I don't know. I don't want to be careful what I'm saying here, but. That's not what this podcast is about. I feel like neither of these people will ever listen to this show, ever. The French dude? There's a guy, one in France. Astoria girlfriend? And a girl with a lizard in Astoria. That's not the demographic that we're recording for right now. There's no Astoria lizard girls that listen to this show, for sure. And that is a demographic. Yeah. I want to say, like. Well, cut it. Well, don't go crazy. No, no, no. This isn't even crazy. What do you mean, go crazy? This isn't crazy. I want to say, like, there'd be times where there'd be, like, a little bit of. Sexual tension. Sexual tension. Yeah. Maybe I was like, oh, she looks horny. But I don't think that ever actually happens. What? She looks horny? It's not even just, like, I want to fuck her. Like, it's like, wow, she looks like she needs me to fuck her. I can see the swelling of her outer labia through her pants. I'm doing something right. The more I think of it, I don't think. No, it might have been a one-way street. I've never in my life seen a woman that looked horny. Oh, my God. I've suspected through actions and words and body language, maybe, but never been like, whoa. Was she rubbing her nipples on the big chair? Like, whoa. What are you talking about? She come home with a tongue piercing? What are you fucking talking about? Looked horny. My God, she looks horny. Not even, like, nothing about you or being like, I'm attracted to her. I was probably just horny, dude. Yeah, it sounds like it. No, no, no. Oh, my God. Look at her over there begging for it. Disgusting. If I didn't know any better. Completely not horny. I'd have to protect myself here. No, there's never any, there's never any, like, even close to. Probably for the best. Like, touch it. There's not even a touch, dude. Was it, like, like, was it weird? Weird living with just a girl, though? Like, were you, like. It was at first, but she was super cool, so it was just, like, it was kind of chill. Did you guys ever get in, like, arguments about, like, dishes and. Rent. Rent? No. Who's feeding the lizard? Yeah. Can you feed Johnny? Johnny, uh. No. Johnny would cheat crickets, dude, and he'd just fucking. Oh, that's brutal. She had to bring home live crickets or would she order them? I don't know. Or would she get them from PetSmart? Oh, she just kind of did her thing with Johnny and. That's good. You never even had to see the crickets? No. Keeping crickets in your house to feed to your lizard later is fucking barbaric. I mean, it's better than the people that have to, like, feed their fucking, like, snakes mice. Yeah. That shit's just. They have, like, it's, like, in the freezer. They just got a bag of mice. I fed my snake live mice. Really? Yeah. Yeah, see, that's, like. That's the best part. It was the whole reason I had the snake. Once every two weeks, bring open a box. I don't know if there's anything on Earth that I've ever had. That I would hate less than that. Oh, it was awesome. Or hate more than that. It was the violence of nature in real time. And I had a front row. Mice, I hate. Snakes, I fucking hate. Snakes terrify me. I would bring. I'd have my friends over for feedings. Yeah. How often were the feedings? Once every two weeks. It only eats once every two weeks? Yeah. How many mice? Mice. The mouse was huge. So it would eat one big mice every. One big mouse every two weeks? Mm-hmm. Oh, my fucking God. That's actually. The mice weren't that big. They were just. In comparison to the snake's body, it was. Were they alive? Uh-huh. Fuck that, dude. How did you get. How did you get the mice? You buy them at the pet store. Alive? Yeah. So you went to a pet store to buy a mouse that someone would typically buy as a pet? No, they wouldn't buy these. They wouldn't buy these mice as pets. That makes sense. Because I thought you were just going to the pet store and be like. Well, what's the difference? They have, like, mice and rats as. People have. But I'm saying, like, is it bred differently? I think so. They're bred to be fucking food. They had some kind of a name for it. Were they dumber? Like a feeder mouse or something. They're just, like, little and. They don't matter. But not like the big mice that are fucking worthy of a home. These mice had no prospects. They weren't, like. They weren't athletic. They weren't. They're undocumented. aspiring. They weren't. Yeah, they're, like. They didn't know their parents. These were wayward teens. Who were just getting snapped up and put into a cage. They rolled out of the system. There wasn't room for them. That's, like, a Mayan, like, sacrifice ritual. Yeah. Like, just, like, rounding up local people running around and fucking bringing them for their blood sacrifice. Well, if the. If you don't feed the mice to the snake, then the snake dies. And the snake. The mouse. The snake needed the live mice. It wouldn't have eaten a dead one. It needs the hunt. Yeah, and it was a. It was a. It was a constrictor. It choked him? I had a ball python. So you take the mouse, then they're nocturnal, right? We would not have been friends. Yeah, I know. I hate this. Like, that is, like, my worst nightmare. It sounds. It sounds. Psycho, dude. Well, it was. Here's the thing. My fourth and fifth grade teacher, Bob Olney, he was my homeroom guy. So it was, like, in his. He was, like, my guy. So he was also the science teacher. And he would. He had snakes. And every two weeks, they would do the feedings. And we would watch it at school. And I thought that was cool. Oh, that makes sense. So then I wanted my own snake. And I got a ball python and would go to the pet store and get the mice. And you drop it into the sort of tank. And it's asleep. The mouse. The snake is asleep. It's the middle of the day. But it sort of starts to sense some sort of change in the animal. The atmosphere. Meanwhile, the mouse thinks, oh, this is my new home. Yeah. And it starts to explore. It's never seen a snake in its life. No. And it thinks, okay, this is where I live. Let me check out my new digs. And it starts to go to the corners and get bolder. Oh, what's that cool little rope toy curled up? Maybe that's for me to play on. And now the snake is uncurling and it's sensing and the mouse is kind of coming closer. And then all of a sudden, wham! And it wraps all of its coils around its neck in a blink of an eye, by the way, and squeezes the life out of it. And you can see its little paws just twitching, trying to get away. This is insane. It's jujitsu method of trying to tap out. But it can't. There's no referee. This is not Royce Gracie. You know, this is fucking violence 101. And then once it's dead, it starts to swallow it whole. And then you see it pass through its body. Yeah, that's nasty. Good God. No, the only nasty part was the shit of the, because then it comes out the other end. It's like a pellet. That was gross. And also, like, when it sheds its skin, that was kind of gross, too. Yeah, that's nasty. I don't like it. Yeah. No, it wasn't pellets. It was like a gooey mass. That's even grosser. Yeah. What once was a mouse now is destroyed plasma. And that year, you were like, we're voted most likely to kill a fucking mouse by hand of a snake. Yeah. Dana, you got it. Yeah, you got to go. I'm going to go, boys. That was so much fun. I wish I didn't have to leave. Should we just keep going for a couple of minutes? We got a couple of minutes after Dana. See you, fellas. After Dana dips. That's okay. You can go. Thanks for doing it, man. That was a lot of laughs. Yeah, this is longer than last time. Still not a full episode, but longer than last time. I had tears in my eyes. A couple points. Griffin, you're a good man. All right. See you, boys. It's a pleasure. Check out Dana and Francis' series that they have coming up. All right. Unbelievable stuff. What a week out here. Yeah, it's been a fun week. What an absolute blitz of a week. We work with some really funny, great people. We really do. Yeah. Yeah, that is nice. It's just they're never around us. What do you think? What do you think about this flight, Francis? You guys are not. I'm hoping for the best, man. I really am. I'm just going to hope for the best. Rental downpour outside. We're just going to try to hope for the best. I just wish that they would tell us before we go to the airport because if we have to go all the way to O'Hare and it gets canceled, you just stay. Well, then we're going to just stay at an airport hotel out there. We're not going to come back. True. Unless you want to come back. We still have our rooms is the thing. Oh. I forgot about that. Well, that would be convenient. Whatever. We'll figure it out. I'm not worried about it. - It's pouring outside and Francis was like, And Frank the Tank was like, do you think there's a poncho or a trash bag in here? Because he was just about to go do his 30,000 steps in the rain, and I got him a trash bag. Wait a minute. Is it actually 30,000 steps? Last week, he did 30,000 steps for three days in a row. Now he's, like, getting towards 30,000 steps. Do you know how many fucking steps 30,000 steps is? It's a half marathon. It's over a half marathon every day of walking. That is so preposterous, that amount of walking. No shine. He's getting fucking. Getting it in. Getting it in no matter what. Someone's got to. Good for him, man. How fucking nuts is that? Dude, I've gone on 14-mile hikes and not had 30,000 steps at the end of the day. I've played 36 holes of walking golf and not had 30,000 steps. 30,000 is nuts. Yeah, it's crazy. Maybe I've had 30,000 steps if I've done 36 holes. Do you remember what it was going tip to tip of Manhattan? I feel like that was, like, 60,000 or something. Maybe not. 42. 42. Which is a lot. It's hefty. What are you boys doing over the 4th of July? I'm going to Wyoming. Well, actually, I'm going to Wyoming after the 4th of July. True. What are you going to do for America's 250th birthday? I don't know, to be honest. I got no plans. Probably see some fireworks. My plan is to not forget the men who died and gave this life to me. Exactly. Francis, are you doing anything? I'm doing a Gettysburg reenactment. Oh, very nice. That's actually a great way to, you know, celebrate. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Beers is back. Well, unfortunately, the same is true for us. What? You don't need me anymore? We were on to other things. Shit. We're talking about what we're doing over the 4th of July. Surely you have plans to celebrate America's 250th. Yeah, we were talking about healthy eating habits, so. Not for you. Come on, dude. You going back to Hingham? I'm actually going to good old Cape Cod. Oh, hell yeah. Dude, let's talk Cape more. Come on, Cape boys. It's a great place to celebrate the 4th. It is. Unbelievable place. Cape Cod? More like cake cob for you. Eating your cake in the form of a cob of corn. Cake on the cob. A cob salad with cake in it. What the fuck is a cob salad, by the way? It's a delicious salad. It's great. Probably my favorite salad. It's the most hearty salad, I would say. What is it? It's a hard-boiled egg, bacon for you. Oh. Tomatoes. My number nine food. Blue cheese crumble. You say that's your number nine food? Yeah. Bacon is. Here we go. Is that from Big Boys Club? That's just my number nine food, yeah. Can you give us the top 10? Yeah. 10 is chicken tikka masala. 9 is bacon. 8 is jambalaya. 7 is bagel and cream cheese. 6 is Spongebob mac and cheese. 5 is. French onion soup. 4 is pizza. 3 is shit. What is 3? Chinese? No. Cheeseburger? No, I don't love cheeseburgers. Steak? 2. I know 2 is buffalo chicken calzone from like a Greek-style place in Massachusetts. And number 1 is cinnamon buns. What is number 3? Chicken parm. Wow. What an unbelievable list. Good for you. And that's known. And that's public knowledge. That's off the top. Yeah. You guys ever have a buffalo chicken? Chicken calzone from Massachusetts? Bro. I actually have. They're phenomenal. I actually have. We had a. There was a fucking great pizza place. What do you mean from Massachusetts? Like the Greek-Greek style. Like the New York style is they put like ricotta cheese in it. Get that shit out of here. Yeah. It's. I don't know how to explain it, but. Is that it? No. It's just mozzarella on top. You put the ingredients inside. It's basically like a. It's like a sub. It's like a pizza like sub. Interesting. Yeah. It's so good. What makes it Greek and what makes it like New England style? I don't know. I don't know. All I know is that there was one. There was like two pizza places in my town growing up and one of them was a Greek pizza place and we used to get buffalo chicken calzones from there like every day. There was an amazing pizza place up by the quad in Cambridge that we would order from and I can't remember. Maybe it was in Somerville. Regina's? No. Geno's? No. It's kind of like a roll in New York. You know? Oh. Like a pepperoni roll or something. It's kind of like that. Where it's all baked in but it's like a smaller part of the. Yeah. But it's pizza dough. Yeah. Yeah. That's like cooked in a pizza oven. Yep. Exactly. It is like that. It's fucking amazing. That's your number three? Number two. Cinnamon buns are so fucking good too. If you get a good bun. I mean, cinnabun is good. Cinnabun's unbelievable. Yeah. Cinnabun is really good. Even from the cinnabun trucks, which are like a problem in New York. The cinnabun trucks. I've never seen them. They're fucking every. Once you start seeing them, you won't stop. Really? They're fucking everywhere. Are you talking about that from the chain? Yes. But it's like cinnabun trucks, they'll just post up somewhere and there's just like tons of them. I've never seen that in my life. There's one in Dumbo on Washington Street. Really? Every Saturday and Sunday. Parked right by the aloe. Wow. Have you ever seen the episode of Louie where he's getting the cinnabun and they're like the little. The lady's like, what do you want for your icing? We can give you one pump, two pumps, and if you pay $5, you can just put your mouth under the pump and we'll just hold it down. And he's like, I guess I'll do the third one. And she's like, I was kidding. We don't do that. Was it he who had the standup bit about getting cinnabun when he landed at the airport? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what it is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's got a new special coming out on Netflix. I heard it's dark. I saw the trailer. It looked funny. It was as good as Hinchcliffe's? It might be. I guess we'll never know. We'll never know. Damn. A nice cinnamon bun. There are trash cinnamon buns, but anytime you get to the center of a cinnamon bun. Oh my God. My cinnamon bun intake has gone up so much since having kids because it's just, I buy one under the guise of sharing it with them. But then I just. I take the best parts for myself. It's the artichoke heart of cholesterol. It really is. Yeah. So nice. I think my favorite food is shrimp cocktail. Airy shrimp cocktail. Yeah, exactly. I forgot we call them that. It's just so good. It's interesting because it's like, there's nothing to it. Well, it's the sauce. It's the shrimp. It's just perfect. I'm going to be honest with you. That's a shitty fucking number one food. No, no, no, no. It is. There's nothing to it. It's just the sauce. It's the shrimp. It's just perfect. No, no, no, no. It is. It's not like prepared a certain way. There's nothing. I like the sauce and I like shrimp. You know what mine is, Dana? What if there was no sauce? Then no. Okay. I still like shrimp, but it wouldn't be my number one. I think mine is. Quinoa? Pussy? Sorry. I don't know why I said that. That's okay. I say things like that to you all the time. Quinoa? Pussy? No, it's. Sorry. That was mean. You don't have to apologize. Yeah, but I don't usually do that to you. What do you mean? I got caught up in the podcast. In the podcast, you're allowed. That's totally fine. This is international waters. I don't usually. I've never called you a pussy. That's for sure. It's hilarious. He says it's grain bowls that I eat, but that's usually what the quinoa is in. Bird seed. He calls it. Bird seed. Yeah. He calls it bird seed. What's your favorite food? Strawberry rhubarb pie. It's a solid pick. I don't know if I've ever had it. I'm a big pie guy. We kind of got a strawberry rhubarb thing the other night. We did. Yeah. And you didn't order that. I ordered that. Cheesecake. I just don't. I don't assume that anyone else likes rhubarb as much as I do. What is rhubarb? I think rhubarb is underrated for sure. Rhubarb is a. I think it's a root. It's this long red stalk that's. You can't eat it unless you cook it and add a ton of sugar. It's also poisonous to dogs. Did you know that? No, I didn't. No, I didn't. It's good to know. I'm scared to give my dog anything. I think it's poisonous to the dogs, the leaves. Now I'm not sure, but something like that. Yeah. We have a bunch growing on our property in Maine. Yeah. Nice. You got to get up to Maine and try his barb. As a New Englander, I've never been to Maine. I named my dog Rhubarb. Really? Ruby for short. Wow. And then she was taken in the divorce. That's nice. So now I don't think about her. And you named her. Because it makes me too sad. How was that? I'm sorry. Not the divorce. Specifically the dog part. How was that? Losing the dog? Yeah. I'm not trying to be funny. In truth, I'm being ridiculous. I let my ex-wife have the dog, and she wanted her because I can't have a dog by myself. I travel endlessly for work. Yeah. That's true. What was that? I didn't mean the divorce. How was getting divorced? Was that good? Oh, I meant to ask you about that. Two years later. Is that fun? Yeah. Yeah. All right. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Legal zoom is calling me the fuck could a legal zoom want with me mmm Who knows the last thing I need is a legal zoom on my ass Bro, do you feel like you should I spray this yeah? I don't know it reeks. You don't still smell it no All I can smell is that I'm sure that's a sponsor No, I'm saying it reeks as in it not in a bad way. I'm saying all I don't think anything has ever reeked well I Guess boy is that is that cooking it reeks in here. Yeah, I guess the love and I fucking cheese it smells very potent is what i meant as in i think all you need is one to two sprays don't wave it on me why i don't want it this is your sponsor it's not my sponsor i haven't no do you ever think about getting a food sponsor i would i would love our podcast has a couple but no i mean in like the aa sense someone that you can kind of someone to hold you account to keep you honest i mean who's been through what if that was a thing yeah like oh i'm sure there is eaters anonymous overeaters anonymous i i yeah i eat too much francis i don't want to tell you dude well i'll be your sponsor i don't want to eat your fucking bullshit though yeah it's true francis eats pretty good i know he does what's the fun of that no i don't want to eat your fucking bullshit though it's true francis eats pretty good i know he does like he eats a lot fun fun not just healthy i know i went to dinner with you in chicago like two months ago that was really fun one of the best dinners i've ever had and it's things i would never order there you go and it was all wonderful food yeah yeah that's what it was when we went we went out i could literally didn't know what i was looking at on the menu like fish it's a lot of like different fish not the standard fish red fish fish is like the stuff called fish that ancient food that is in the bible it's fish that you've never seen or heard of ever sea bass and shit yeah oh no that's another common one yeah you're you're almost there you've got the right idea we had we had unusual fish red fish fucking one fish two fish red fish blue fish salmon the shit that was on the menu of the place that we went was like deep sea i've never heard of it any of it yeah like shit that's not here yeah it's cool it was cool we have to go yeah we gotta get going okay good luck boys thank you dana thanks dana thanks guys