Vietnam Hall Of Fame Sniper Ed Eaton | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 280

Connor, when you used nicotine in the past, what have been your biggest frustrations? Turns out you can't get as much of a pump going when you've got a cig in your mouth at the gym that I go to all the time. Was your recovery time worse on nicotine? Oh, and how! It narrows your blood vessels and restricts oxygen to your muscles. It makes it hard to breathe. Your blood doesn't work. Counteracts the pump. Ultra pouches are perfect for athletes, runners, or health-conscious people because they're 100% nicotine-free. You pop one of those bitches five minutes before your workout or your workday, and bam! You're gonna be on fire. A lot of this shit is just actually just good for you, like L-theanine, vitamin B6, vitamin B12. Also, they help quit your cravings and they suppress your appetite. When do you recommend taking Ultra? I'm gonna do this before the gym. Before I'm pumping it. Crazy style. It's got nootropics. Nootropics. Nootropics. What's your favorite flavor, Brandon? Mine's tropical. I like cool mint. Ultra is the ultimate guilt-free pouch. Delivering instant focus and mental clarity, all without nicotine or caffeine. New customers can use the code UNSUB to get 15% off at TakeUltra.com. That's 15% off at TakeUltra.com when you use code UNSUB. They started calling in my kills as our sniper. I didn't tell anybody I'd flunked or passed sniper school. I just went back to my outfit. It's the f***ing corn sweat, and I'm like, the what? The colon sweat. This time of year. My balls are sweating. Oh, good. Yeah, I want a circumcision on a boat. Hold still! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I always figured out I'm gonna be fine by about s***ing my pants. Say hi to Eli. He's racially ambiguous. Brandon, his hair is f***ing fabulous. Donut, a dark joke disposition. And there's a fat election. Trishan, welcome to Unsubscribe. We have hit a million subs. One million subs. Thank you. Show brought this from Ireland. Thank you. Cheers. We have a liftoff. Oh, my God. I know that is not a shooting whiskey, and that was a sin, but dear God, that is delicious. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. A million times thank you. We have hit a giant milestone. In a million years, I would have never thought possible, but it's possible because of all of you. So, thank you guys so, so freaking much. Y'all are amazing humans, and I truly, truly appreciate this opportunity. I am f***ing stoked. Also, just randomly enough, our video game releases Friday at noon. Scavlands. Go check it out on Steam. Codes down below. Leave a review. I cannot tell you officially to leave. A good review on Steam, but if you leave a good one, I'm a love you. We'll all love you. And if you leave a bad one, I'll also love you. And then on top of that, we, all of us, you can go check us out on Twitch and watch a stream. Enjoy the episode. Oh, yeah. We got to pop the cans. Everyone ready? Beautiful. I'll pop this guy. Okay. On the count of three. One, two, one, two, three. You know, that's good s***. You don't have to lie. No, it really is. That's good s***. I never drank it. My wife drinks it, but I never took a sip until just now. Welcome to the Unsubscribed Podcast. I am joined today by my co-hosts, Eli Doubletap, the one and only Ed Eaton, Nick, the Fat Electrician, and myself, Bro Nut Bobberator. Thank you for joining us. You're very welcome. Everyone's changed that seat so much. It's like, man, Donut has many faces. You're the only one that people will confuse, though. Yeah. What do you mean? I am Donut. I know. It's nice to meet you, Donut. He's my Tyler Durden. One of these days, I'll come to realize that. And now we got Mr. Ed on. Ed, what's up, brother? Nick set this one up, and I am. I mean, we're all stoked for this one. Nick was very, very stoked, especially if you read our text messages. That was just a very funny text thread. Well, to be honest with you, I had never heard of you guys. But I had two guys I served in Vietnam with called me up and emailed me, whatever, and said, hey, I saw that the Fat Electrician's talking about you. I'm like, who the fuck is that guy? And he's not even fat. That's what the weird thing is. But yeah, anyhow, so. And then he calls me up months later, and by that time, I'd watched your podcast, and thought, hell, you guys are my kind of people. So, yeah. Perfect. And I love Texas, so this is a piece of cake for me. Hell yeah. And it sounded like it was. You're our kind of people, just from, again. Oh, you have bad taste. You have bad taste. Well, you're a fellow grunt. All of us grunts have bad taste. A hundred percent. Dude. Well, thank you for coming down. We're super stoked for this. I know we have. I mean, you have. If you want to go to. I mean. Where do we even start? You have, like, a crazy story, but then just even leading up to that. Well, I mean, I guess, you know, what? Sniper Hall of Fame? Yeah. It was quite the honor. It surprised me. It happened a couple years ago. First time I ever had a general want me to sit next to him. So, yeah. The Army named the sniper classroom after me, and then at the same time, I did a nice little. In fact, I'll give you. I'll give you. I'll give you. I'll give you guys pictures if you ever. And some of that stuff. Well, you might. Yeah. You probably got it on my website. Anyhow. Yeah. Pretty cool. And I think there's a lot. People a whole lot more deserving than myself, but nevertheless, I was the one. So, first Hall of Fame inductee into the Army Sniper Hall of Fame. No. Yeah. Yeah. Then what we got. You've been. You had a special on History Channel about you? History Channel did a story on me. Unfortunately, they didn't. They didn't finish the story, but. Well, they had to make way for ancient aliens. Yeah. There you go. Right. NRA TV did a. It's actually better than History Channel one, I think, but it did the rest of the story, and it was a very well-done film, even though it was done in my home as opposed to Hollywood was for the. I did the first one, but. Well, I mean, like, if we rewind, you started with. Well, your dad served in World War II. He was a Marine vet. Correct. And Korea, yeah. Oh, I didn't realize he did both. Yeah. Dang. So, you had that leadership and that. How was your pops at that age? Just like. Well, you know, I had. I couldn't go to school until my gig line was straight, and I had to stand inspection for dinner every night, but. No, it's not. Having rules is not a bad thing, you know? It makes life easier for you. I mean, as you get older. I didn't mean to set you up. This is the time during the draft, and you signed up. Well, I had actually joined the National Guard as a high school half-lunchtime vet. Four of us walked across the street. You said as a vet? Directly across the street from the high school to the National Guard outfit, and even though we all needed our parents' signature, my mother was more than happy to do it. She was afraid I was going to. She was afraid I was going to join the Marine Corps or something else kind of stupid, so. So, anyhow, I did that, but, you know, and then I had never really even heard of Vietnam in 65 to speak of, but people are going. Now people are dying that I know, and I. People are starting to get divided. Should we be there? Shouldn't we be there? And I just really felt that I needed to go and see for myself, and so I went active and hoping to be a. You know, I was a. I was a combat medic. Yeah, how did you end up being 11 Bravo? Well, in order to be a combat medic, I would have had to have re-upped, and I thought, you know, I might. Nah. I might. I just only have to survive one year of infantry, and then I'll have my GA bill, and I'll have served. It'll all be good. So that's kind of what went down there, so. Soldiers don't change every time. It's always. It's like, oh, re-up's a big ask. Wars change. The guys that fight them don't. I love those old photos. Soldiers don't. That is one of the most. I mean, even with Iraq, it's how they would hook you. It's like, oh, you'll get a $20,000 re-up bonus, and you're in Iraq, so it's non-taxed. You get it all right now, five years. And I watched my buddies. They signed up for it. They did that, and then they're like, I f***ed up. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, yeah, homie, why did you do that? I really wanted to be a pilot, and I passed all my warrant officer stuff, and my dad, being the ex-Marine, he fed the Marine Corps all my info, and I had the scores high enough to get into the Marine Corps Air Program, but that's six more years, you know, and I just. I didn't know if. Whatever. So I decided I could survive one year, rather erroneously. We said this on a podcast. We filmed previously this week, and I brought it up again. It's every time there's an Army guy with a crazy. story that did incredible things it always starts with i almost went into the marine corps but then i went army instead and then they proceed to just go do a bunch of crazy stuff anyways a little that sammy said was like yeah the line was too long yeah yeah that was what sammy said he showed up the line was shorter for the army so he went there instead my dad and i he didn't write me for six months he's pissed off that i joined the army but i like his knife it's like my son's going to war it's like we got along pretty good we go out to the bar and go hey this is my doggy son and i'd go yeah this is my short-haired father what uh did your father teach you to like shoot everything absolutely they were mountain people so my great-grandfather got killed in the uh the battle of the prelim to the battle of nashville forget the name of it now but yeah the battle of nashville is a wild sense but anyway it was part of the battle of nashville but it's the early part down in franklin i think but uh so from so uh uh dude you're throwing a flashbang at us yeah you have my history nick over here so my whole family moved to state of washington right on the oregon border uh and they were mountain people that was about the only land that was really left a homestead that was worth a shit and and so my dad was raised on the mountains and it raised in a tough manner uh 14 miles to school literally so you had to do well my grandmother was a school of more or many a long story all that crap but uh so uh my dad and cousin joined the marine corps right after pearl harbor and uh that's kind of how that went down but uh but yeah shooting was a big part of we never ate beef or at least in the house until i don't know maybe senior year or later high school it's a venison or yeah venison and elk yeah yeah yeah so you literally lived out like true mountain people where it's yeah when back then you could get four or five deer uh family you know i mean you could get a doe and then you get a buck and so it was all good but yeah i i can remember him getting me in the backyard with a piece of shit 22 and and had buck sites and the only way to adjust the buck sites was uh he's a heavy smoker he'd bring out a little match piece of match and stick it under there and move it around and so whatever so going into lost my zero my match stick moved yeah that's a wild statement i mean when we when we said we wanted match grade sites i don't think that's what we were thinking exactly yeah so what was uh going in basic training like for you well a piece of cake actually because i i played six years football the way then gotcha and uh uh humped up every goddamn mountain you can imagine so i was immediately made a squad leader that kind of crap and um yeah so that wasn't a big deal uh infantry training surprised me it was pretty good tough uh the 26 mile march with two weeks of shit on your back after spending two weeks in boonies was um it was almost asking too much because we're humping seven ten miles a day anyhow playing war and now all of a sudden you gotta throw everything on your back and go home for 26 miles but uh it's a good question with basic because i think a lot of us our basic was very different even like yeah next month like and you get to see a debt every decade it just got softer is what i say yours you're it's wild to hear it's like oh isn't bad i'm like how was your childhood if you looked at like vietnam basic training well the crazy part is like not only did the standards get lower because like you know the basically the biggest march i had to do between medic and basic i think was 10 miles oh my god it was like it was like eight or ten but the other part of that is my gear is way better than yours was too like the the rucksack i had is way better than the rucksack you had and i only had to go half as far mine was half full of water being out of port lewis so i had an extra whatever pounds added to that oh you oh dude for it oh you you still call fort lewis it's it's not called that anymore what's the name no mccoy uh joint base fuck them it's port lewis this episode is brought to you by chat gpt hey it's bill simmons from the bill simmons podcast have you guys heard about chat gpt work it's the new way to use chat gpt for bigger multi-step projects and when you need more than just answers give chat gpt work access to your apps and files and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets slides and structured reports get started at chat gpt.com by selecting work mode available on port lewis plus and pro plans for that's what it was for me it was the year after i got out because i was stationed at fort lewis and then it switched and i was like what the you know i have an interesting story about what is done then so my old unit is now a basic training unit in fort jackson's south carolina so we go down there for a union and the army is just really treated as good they sent buses took us out and took us to each and every range you know and which was really important to me was my best friend had a range named after him and uh roniger in my book is who i wrote anyhow so here they are like oh come on jack come on jill let's get over the hill you know like oh you don't feel okay go ahead and stand off to the side i'm going like what the fuck man you know so so you're heckling the current recruits so we invited the cadre and uh bravo third of the 60th to our dinner and they also brought their colonel the battalion commander and i asked him i says you know how how come basic training so long it's longer than it wasn't well it takes about two or three weeks for us to get him in shape for basic training i'm going okay so these guys are all infantrymen all the cadre were all head combat infantry badges and uh i said so how long is infantry infantry training i said how come it's so much longer well it takes us a couple weeks to get him in shape for infantry training so i said you guys so you're telling me that people of today's era are a month to five six weeks behind where you guys were just 40 years or you know just 20 some years ago and that's that's the truth that's that's how soft we as americans got i spent a lot of time in fort benning right now and and trust me americans were in good hands men still have to testosterone and there are men that want to be men and they they're the ones that want to be infantrymen they're the ones that want to be rangers warfighters special forces anything they can be other than a regular guy so yeah it's it's all good i'm i'm pretty proud of our military right now so i mean going into that because i i did read your book one of the things that was really cool for me to see is that a lot of other war memoirs don't really talk about a lot is you spent quite a bit of the book talking about how just the elements of vietnam kind of kicked your ass when you first got there of the climate i mean you were selling you're a pretty in-shape guy and you were still having a miserable time when you first got there what was the hot season to begin with so every day is 95 to 105 and 100 humidity it's the and you'd wake up in the morning you'd think it's a fog no it's just it's just the the water and the rice patties warming up is a little further you know well it was really steam more than anything you know i i found that out last time when we were in iowa that you guys deal with that what is it called uh the corn sweat yeah yeah i had never heard of this before yeah uh it's a word it's not evaporation it's uh transpiration oh okay transpiration all the corn in iowa when it's tall when it gets hot out the corn sucks groundwater up into the stock which causes condensation on the corn because the groundwater is cooler than the atmosphere and then it sweats out and turns into humidity so it's like above 100 humidity it's it's like you're getting punched in the face with hot water it was miserable it's aggressive what the fuck's going on here you got to feel it because you were in iowa yeah they were they were like it's the corn sweat and i'm like the uh the what that's a weird i thought nick was with me i had never heard of it i'm like what ah the colon's sweating this time of year oh of course the corn sweat what the fuck is corn sweat the corn is sweating i'm not i'm not kidding my balls were sweating gone are you missing it on a business idea oh i've got so many business ideas eli my newest one is that i'm going to sell pants to slugs well brandon tell him what he can do about that i'm gonna sell salt washed jeans to slugs with my customer base man well either way you can find your customer base and sell to them on shopify i don't know how many slugs are on shopify more than you'd think are you saying shopify will make the business easier for connor to make it happen as easy as it can be from the moment the first slug's ready to pay Shopify also powers millions of businesses worldwide. - I do know that because the first couple of businesses I started, I actually used Shopify and it made it actually manageable to do. - We actually all use Shopify with Bunker and everything we do. All our businesses actually do operate under Shopify. - When Snail Trail Jeans finally takes off, I will be using Shopify. - With Shopify, nothing stands between your idea and making it a real business. - Except Slug's ability to use the internet. But go make one. - Start your free trial at shopify.com/unsubpod. - Start your trial at shopify, S-H-O-P-I-F-Y.com/unsubpod. - Unsubpod, U-N-S-U-B-P-O-D. - You know, my first mission might've been my worst mission in that I had never dealt with that kind of heat and dah, dah, dah. But part of it was because I was a new guy and I wasn't quite in shape. We dusted off, I think, I forget how many guys, but a bunch of them didn't come back. They were permanently, had brain damage from heat exhaustion. - Oh, they were full on heat stroke. - And they did, yeah, heat stroke. And they did not get us water for a couple days. We were literally going to the rain. All the hoochies had a rain barrel where the rain would come and down off the, well, it's full of mosquitoes is what it's full of. So you'd like spread mosquitoes away and suck up some water, you know. And like, if no one's full well, you're probably going to get malaria at some point or another, you keep on doing that. But yeah, from that standpoint, it was brutal. And then of course you're first time actually having somebody shoot at you. It's not as cool as they make it out to be. - That is like a God fear. I always figured out I'm going to be fine. I'll be fine. The rest of these are going to have a problem. I about shit my pants, man. This is God fearing stuff, you know. I literally had rockets flying over my head that far. The sad thing about it was I actually saw the son of a bitch that sat up in front of me, but I'd never seen the enemy before. And I'm thinking, well, I need to call somebody to see me. Make sure it's not somebody from my element, you know. And so I tear the radio away from the Prick 25. I tore the handset away from, so I couldn't call anybody. And then they laid into us, but yeah, it's anyhow, I just, but as far as element wise, we literally finally got to the Mito River, which is, probably the largest arm of the Mekong Delta. We're drinking out of it. We're that thirsty. And I literally, honest to God, 'cause everybody shits on the Mekong all the way from Laos, all the way down to where we're at. But somebody up the river, not very far, had a nice fresh turd floating right by me. Not long after I'd taken a drink. - A life straw. Hey, at least it was after. Silver linings. - Yeah. - Anyhow. So that kind of went downhill from there. - Downstream, so it's like. - Downstream. - Great bunch of guys. We looked out after each other and. - What was like, if we can go back just to basic for one quick question, it's like you're saying, hey, it wasn't that bad. It was easy, especially going through what you went through afterwards. Were the drill sergeants, this is the time period where they could hit you, right? - They wouldn't hit you. They would have you, other people hit you. IE, here's how they did it. Here's how they did it. - Battle bullies. - Here's how, no, no, here's how they did it. - Battle bullies won. - Here's how they did it, happened to me. So I'm the squad leader, right? So my drill sergeant comes to me, he goes, Eaton, I want to make sure, I can't remember his name now, but I want to make sure he knows. He knows what? I want to make sure he knows. I want to make sure he's learned his lesson. When we show up for formation tomorrow, I want to look at him and know that he has learned his lesson. Going like, what the fuck are you talking about? Didn't take me long when I realized, shit, I got to go guys head up, you know? So me and another squad leader pulled a blanket party on the guy and dumped him up a little bit. So that's how they did it. - Damn, I just imagine this being like an error of communication. He shows up all fucked up the next day, you're like, what the fuck did you do? I just wanted you to talk to him. I wouldn't even say, it's like, hey, I learned my mistake drill sergeant. Why is it black and blue right now? - We had a real interesting situation in basic training. We had a entire platoon of guys that all came from the Idaho boys home. All 60 of them, every frigging one of them they put together, which was probably a mistake because those guys already had their own pecking order, you know? Well, the army realized that right off the bat. So they doubled up on NCOs at night and during the day. But they had one kid, Pee-wee, a little redheaded dude. Pee-wee loved to get his ass kicked, you know? He loved to be this center of attention by just, you know. - Crazy pastime. He would do it on purpose. - Yeah, I mean, he literally would. And so I happened to be going to the CQ, charge of quarters, late at night as a squad leader, I could do that. The rest of us, nobody else could leave the area. But here's this goddamn drill sergeant. He's like, he has Pee-wee on the front porch. And it's only that wide and it's concrete. Pee-wee, get on that stop at the top of the porch and get in a dying cockroach. And you stay there until I tell you to quit. So he's there in that dying cockroach, which is your arms and legs sticking up in the air is all it is. And then you're going to angle 45 degree angle, which does get tiresome after a while. - Anything gets tiresome because in your brain it's like, oh, they made him do it for 30 seconds. It's like, no drill sergeants will make you hold that for hours at a time. - Until I get tired. - So the drill sergeant goes to the back of the barracks, catches somebody fucking up. And he says, okay, gentlemen, here's the deal. If you're not outside and in formation within 20 seconds, you're all going through, we had these sand, low crawl sand pits next door, 40 yards of sand. You're going to have to crawl through those, which that wasn't so bad, but now you have sand all over you, all over the barrack. You got to clean it up everywhere you're going. - Making sugar cookies. - Yeah, so he kicks, so what happens, what happens? You got 59 guys kicking the door open, charging as hard as they can. And here's Pee-wee, you know, just trampled. Shit out of that poor guy. - This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at ChatGPT.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro plans. - Oh, but he realized right then and there that he needed to straighten up. - Did you guys ever have to do Superman's? - Yeah. - Superman drills for a punishment? - Will you do that? - No, no, no, no. You fall into formation and then the drill instructor's like, all right, three minutes. I want you back here in formation wearing the bottoms from your dress uniform, a combat top, your beret. Your rubber boots and your cold weather gloves, go. And you had to, everybody had to be wearing the exact same uniform. And you would just do it over and over and over again. And if anybody was fucked up, he'd just smoke the dog shit out of you while you're wearing like your cold weather gear in July. Like, they call it Superman's 'cause you had to change really fast like Superman, yeah. - Dude, all the, it's crazy when you hear all the different stories. It's like, oh, this is what they're going to do to you. We had learned one mistake where, I was really good at Fluttercase. I could, I could always max my PT. - Yeah, you got these tiny legs. - Dude, exactly. It's moving two inches, like. And great for that, bad for running and road marching. Drill Sergeant Maynard was like, this, he had me doing it for like three minutes. He's like, how you feeling, Quavis? I was like, I'm fine. I was like, you can't smoke a rock, Drill Sergeant. Worst mistake I could have ever said was that. And he's like. - It was at this moment. I was like, oh, I'm fucking down real hard right now. - How you doing now, Quavis? Rock's real fucking tired, sir. - Rock hurts. - Speaking of the turd in the river and almost shitting your pants. I think there was a story where you did shit your pants and you needed a new pair for a particular reason. - You know, the funny thing about this story is, well, let me tell you how I wrote my book. First of all, I started hiding things from my friends. mother and my wife. And then I started, well, I don't want to call this son of a bitch out. So I had a list of things I couldn't say more than anything. So I thought, I can't write that way. I just got to tell the story, tell the way it is. I did send it to three of the guys that I served with so they could help me with the timeline and the names and accuracy and so forth. And one of them happened to be an ex-writer for Hearst Newspapers, had a master's degree in writing and happened to be our FO and it was Zeke. I wrote a lot about Zeke. But anyhow, he just demanded that I keep in all the whorehouse, the other shit in there, the reality of it all. I mean, because I've read your book, obviously. Well, speaking of shitting his pants, it is genuinely one of my favorite war memoirs I've ever read. And I've read a lot. And I told him in the car, it reminds me a lot of, I've talked about it before, John Lewis Barkley's book, Scarlet Fields, No Hard Feelings. And it's for the same reason of like, he didn't try to like paint himself as like Superman, super tough guy. He told, he highlights all the mistakes that he makes. And he's like, yeah, got lucky. I screwed that up and got lucky anyway. So it's, I don't know. It's a very humanizing, humanizing, real perspective of like, nah, I was a kid. You know, the biggest reward I've received writing that book is I've gotten so many emails, letters from infantrymen, Army and Marine Corps, both. Thanks for just being honest about your fears, you know, but back to what the hell you're at. Oh, the, well, I will say just, so there, so there's a, the chapter in my book, I think it's called Shit in the Pants. What's the chapter's name? What's it about? So I'm a platoon sergeant at this time. And I have, you know, we're, we're set up, we're set up in a canal and it's actually a coconut grove. And I got to take a dump, which, you know, really we hardly ever ate or drank out in the field. So you hardly ever, you, you probably would never pee for days on end. And so anyhow, so I, I go a couple, three dykes away from everybody to take my dump. And I'm, I'm squatting there. That's a very different unit of measurement in Austin. I'm getting ready to pull my pants up. Here comes these two VC running along. I, I just poof, poof, see them between the trees there. And they're just, they're unloading both their 30 round magazines right at us, you know? And so I jumped backwards, you know, grab my pants, put them on, jump back to my, where my rifle was. And, and, uh, I get back there and pretty soon my, my men are going, Oh man, that's the hell, you know? So I realized, Oh, I scooped it all up in my pants. So, so, so I went and, uh, took a mud bath and, um, threw my trousers away and figured I'll just grab a pair of trousers in the morning when we got a resupply chopper. So in the morning I called in for a pair of new trousers. And about that time I get a radio from my company commander. He says, Eaton, he says, uh, when that resupply ships come, comes in, he says, you need to be here because Colonel Pete's coming in also. And he wants to award you a bronze star in the field, which we had never heard of such a thing, you know, how they just usually. gave you one. Nobody ever handed it to you. Never made a big deal out of it, you know? So are you just Winnie the Pooh-ing it at the moment? Was that? Yeah, definitely. Yeah. Well, I, I had a strange week. I, I, I'd killed a lot of people that week just from, just by being there and happen chance. I think I attribute it to the fact I hunted a lot when I was young, you know, I had good eyes for movement, but, um, so now I'm freaking out. I'm going like, so, but I mean, you're out in the field in your underwear at this point. No, I don't know. You don't wear underwear. They didn't even know you're Winnie the Pooh-ing it. The literal translation. It looks like a ringworm ringworm would just double up if you had underwear. But so anyhow, uh, so I said, okay, which one of you guys want to, uh, give me your pants? You're not one of my men would says, you guys are going to make me order you to give me your pants. Yeah. We're going to, you're going to have to order. So, and about that time I found an out because we needed to do a clover leaf to protect the area for the incoming choppers. And I just made sure that I, uh, uh, wasn't around, you know, to, uh, be there. So it'll work that fine. Did you just walking around with your like Brown top on and boots? Yeah. Yeah. It was balls of swinging. I, I was, I was actually in a can't remember where his restaurant one time. And this guy introduces me to this day to his, and, uh, never meant to go for my life. And she says, are you Sergeant Mudcock? True story. Well, one of my men called me Sergeant Mudcock and that was kind of what, you know, it's stuck. Yeah. You know, if I do a fat electrician video, that's going to be the title. Yeah. Yeah. Big star. If you've tried quitting smoking or vaping and you keep going back, well, you'll have to try our new sponsor fume. Your willpower. Isn't the problem. How you're trying to quit is nicotine pouches, patches, or gum only address the nicotine. We'll still keeping you reliant. On it and going cold Turkey is kind of hard. It makes you focus on everything and be reliant on willpower and vaping and smoking. Aren't just a nicotine problem. They're a habit. The fidgeting aspect. I love most if you're having problems with oral fixation, then this is a good, uh, habit to replace the other habit with. It modifies it and then get you off the nicotine, which is your overall goal. Plus, oh, see now with the flavors. It's not as strong as vape, but it's pretty good for something that doesn't have electronics. Fume is a flavored air device made out of real wood and metal that gives your hands, mouth, and brain something better to reach for when that craving hits from August 15th, tell September 15th, get 30% off with the good habit pack with everything you need to kick back into gear after summer, get your habits back on track. Use our code on sub to get a free fume topper. More than one. 1 million people have already chose fume to quit differently. The only question is, are you ready to take the first step? Remember addiction is really good at saying later, don't let it head to try fume.com. That is T R Y F U M.com to get 30% off the good habit pack and use code on sub at checkout to get the free topper. Another part of your book that was crazy to me was, um, we're kind of jumping around a little bit, but when you were on the hospital ship, you said that they had. Literally announced over the loudspeakers offering anybody on the hospital ship circumcisions. Yeah. I was, I, uh, it was after I had gotten wounded, uh, well, the helicopter crash slash, excuse me. He's like, I have all these things in front of me. Um, any up boiled down, there's just two of us in the whole damn little, it's only 20 man hospital and, uh, doctor got bored, I guess. So he announced on the morning, you know, every morning. I ship, they go, they blow their whistles, sweepers, sweepers, man, your brooms, give the ship a clean sweep for and after all those wishing a circumcision report to the ship's hospital. They're talking about it. Like it's a fucking flu shot. Well, it's anyhow, a shitload of people showed up. They wanted their, their, uh, circumcision. So, so we had a lot of fun with that. So made sure playboys were hanging around, you know, made sure they. We talked about sex after there. So they do the circumcision and they gave these guys little spray bottles, you know, to spray on their dick when it tried to get hard. You know, we had them spraying all night long to remember the point that some of them even ran out of spray. They're like, just, just dudes being bros trying to get their guys hard. It's like, I thought that was really weird. So then I looked into like, why, why would they even do that? Yeah. Apparently it turned into like a fairly common thing where the army was in Marine Corps, I guess we're like offering circumcisions to people that were already in the hospital because the hygiene conditions were so bad in the field that they were having so many soldiers get, I think it's called ballen Titus. Basically you get like an infection on the head of your dick and the head of your dick swells up and it's taken guys out of the field weaponized dick cheese. So they were, yeah, exactly. So they were literally like, if you're already there, they're like, Hey, do you want this done? So this isn't an issue later. Kind of like getting your wisdom teeth removed before deployment by the army though. Yeah. Yeah. The last people I trusted, like I got to go off. I didn't think about that. This is the army doing it. that's what i'm like no no it was the navy doing i was on a navy ship yeah i want a circumcision on a boat yeah hold still it's a wave pattern for her pleasure now yeah but to be all to be fair i think most of the guys were in there because they thought they could get a day or two out of the field wait you didn't get time well you can't go out to the field with a sewing up dick i know but how much time did you get off from dick a couple three days we miss them at least you at least miss one mission you know three days doesn't seem like enough time to heal from that yeah i don't know i i didn't keep track that's uh it'd be such a weird call to hear especially like when i was in or anything it's like hey do you want circumcision come on in we're gonna take care of that for you but i wonder what percentage of the people who are circumcised are circumcised and they're circumcised and they're not circumcised at that time because americans that's like a fairly a huge percentage yeah my era my era there were actually as i recall more people that weren't circumcised than there were you know and the argument against that was you're restricting your penis from getting larger by trimming down the skin you know you if you have extra skin your penis can be extra large like when my mom got me clothes i'll grow into it yeah approximately 20 to 30 percent of american men to this day are still uncircumcised yeah i didn't know that yeah i would have thought like i culturally i just thought that what about back in the day though it might how was it in 1960s yeah i'd assume quite now america's the one place that does it well i mean it's worldwide it's a lot less common to be circumcised well they used to ask you do you want your son circumcised now they ask you if you don't want him circumcised in the 1960s so well this would be people born in the 60s in the 1960s newborn male circumcision rates in the united states reach an all-time peak of approximately 83 to 85 percent this means that roughly 15 to 17 percent of american baby boys born during that decade were uncircumcised what about 1940s but the 40s is yeah yeah yeah that's where i'm like i wonder about that yeah 40s approximately 20 percent still this episode is brought to you by chat gpt hey it's bill simmons from the bill simmons podcast have you guys heard about chat gpt work it's the new way to use chat gpt for bigger multi-step projects and when you need more than just answers give chat gpt work access to your apps and files and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets slides and structured reports get started at chat gpt.com by selecting work mode available on plus and pro plans just get your pp cut is again by the military it's the last place if anyone that doesn't know this the you do not have them work on you for anything the army does any wisdom teeth pulling i got lucky with any of my dental they're like do you want us to do or do you want to go off base to a doctor to get any dental it's like fucking what that's an option it's like send me off base i think one of the funniest things about that i just remembered so that little surgery room with portholes and it could be in the navy ship right you just had to stick it through a porthole so so the head the worst glory hole ever the head corpsman there and and us so we would look corpsman we're doing it no the head corpsman at that point he was yeah yeah anyhow so we looked through his little portholes and and of course the patient could see us and we go oh my god like it just cut something off and he'd go well and he'd act like oh fuck you know we screwed with him so it was fun jesus that is so uh you're going man i want to get how long were you in before uh your big event because i want to i want to talk about that because you already talked we're talking about like injury cycle yeah so i but i know the people would love to hear especially you were you telling that nick does a fantastic job the one for lack of better words made me famous if you will yeah uh the history channel yeah can we before we get there can we can we talk about your experience leading up to it because i think that's that's the coolest part to me is a lot of people are probably a lot of people probably don't realize that you technically weren't a sniper when that event unfolded and so i mean just kind of more about your experiences so i was one of the first 30 people trained through fruition of a sniper school and i was the first one that flunked and what they what they did was they started with 35 40 of you and they uh we did open sites for like a week and then they just took the 10 best shots and so then they'd put us through the school and uh and i was the top shot at open sites 300 meters man but 900 meters i had somebody else calling wind for me and i only got two out of them five in the into the soap so i flunked by one shot they didn't let you bring your matchsticks so yeah so they're in light an argument i mean the instructors were arguing well you know this guy called that kind of wind that guy called that kind of wind and maybe that was the issue and there's no rules of rules so so anyhow uh so i went back to my unit and uh uh what i had learned so i started mounting starlight scopes on him 16s and using it at night and this is a brand new thing yeah can you kind of tell the audience what a starlight scope is yeah it's the first nighttime scope really you know it's um there's some bitch was huge you know it was like that big around it was like by the time i i regressed anyhow um so they started calling in my kills as our sniper they didn't realize i'd i didn't tell anybody i'd flunked or passed sniper school i just went back to my outfit so every time they call in a kill like oh yeah our sniper ed he so the common of the sniper school he has me on the board ed ed eaton here well actually my i was black eye is what i was so uh or bad eye excuse me so uh great that was your call sign so he's keeping trying so the instructors they know what's going on though so they realize but i always came by the school every time i was in the base camp just to say hi and and uh so one time i did uh senior nco says hey ed we've been thinking about this and we need to get you a goddamn rifle that's worth a shit so they gave me a an xm21 that extra that they had and uh and uh and that's what i was carrying as a platoon sergeant and carrying the night of the helicopter crash so xm21 is just sniper sniper fight yeah m14 okay yeah so i had went through that's funny because it the it's the m21 but back in the day it would being the xm21 still experimental at the time that's kind of that's a cool note yeah yeah it was it was the cutting edge yeah yeah i mean it was the only automatic weapon that could shoot inside a minute you know inside a minute is a minute angle so i mean right one inch one inch over 100 yards yeah yes sir so yeah so i went in and i was like oh my man i was a rto at first which was a good experience i hated it uh wasn't able to move very fast you know i want to be able to defend myself and shoot back instead of following i had a crazy ass goddamn squad leader rto radio guy right yeah okay you're trying to find oh i could not if you put me in front of a radio right now i would not be able to do anything yeah because people don't realize you have to like reset it oh yeah yeah communicate to each other yeah but we had schooling in the at on that so then i i got rid of that so then i was an art or a grenadier m79 man which was really nothing more than a learning position to be point man so then i was point man and then uh and so we voted for who who is to be the next squad leader and who is to be the next platoon sergeant didn't have anything to do with rank so i was voted to be the next squad leader and i i literally had a sergeant underneath me that was this e4 he didn't like that so anyhow uh so that's kind of how all that started that's how i got up to that rank so i was a a platoon sergeant uh the night of april 3rd and uh company commander came to me one night and said colonel pete needs uh uh you know he we need two choppers full of guys to check out some radio transmissions in a certain area so uh i really didn't to be honest with you didn't want to go i just got off a mission we're beat up and tired and and uh the only guys that were volunteering with people that really didn't know what they were getting into but i felt i needed to be there for them you know so so yeah so anyhow uh you are a sniper at this point so i You're saying it's like, Hey, they, they can't, I'm still not a sniper. but i have my sniper rifle no okay so like okay he was a non-sniper doing sniper yeah yeah yeah yeah after i get out of the hospital and i get that that rifle back from which was beat up how the stock was split in two and the mount was all skew and and uh they decided how it was so i was the first guy to be able to take the sniper test over again so that was out pretty good oh yeah so from that point on i was full-time sniper i have to ask too how'd you like the thumper the m79 you know the cool thing it reminds me of shooting a bow yeah you don't need sights you just need to shoot often enough so the little computer up here understands the distance and i mean i can remember dumping rounds in 150 yards inside little one-man they they like to make bunkers only big enough for vietnamese not as americans so um big enough for a 40. yeah yeah most amazing shot i actually ever made was we're sitting on a riverbank waiting for boats to extract us and here comes this vc military age plying down the river he doesn't see us to the last minute and we're going late day late day and he's he's not coming over and so i shoot a parachute willie peter round up in the air it lands in his boat bad day talk about lucky here's what it really amounted to you know he was probably that was the lucky trying to get around this it's just like no no no no no no no no it's burning a hole in the bottom of that wood sandpan right away yeah damn yeah no that's been my experience too with the uh the m79 it's just like point shooting is just it's just easier the sights i don't know if the sites are just wrong i tried the sights in fact i raised hell because they didn't have sights they found them for me i first wood line i came in to i didn't have a sight i didn't have a sight i found them for me i first wood line i came in to i didn't have a sight i didn't have a sight i didn't have a sight i i first wood line i came into oh that's about 200 yards let me see okay oh i missed you know it's just you just need to be you need to be able to go mine's going to correct immediately and there's so much variation on the ammo too like the weights and the distances and everything that's why you saw like a lot of those guys uh you've seen pictures and things like that of guys that just carry the uh the m79 like on their their rig and especially a lot of the uh uh like the special operations guys where they would just cut the stock off and they'd cut the barrel off so like they would cut it right before the sights turn into a big pistol yeah it's just a giant it looks like a pirate literally like a pirate gun it's just a sawn off m79 don't know to what effectiveness they were used sure but i know they used them yeah yeah hey you ever just wake up and felt like your mattress sucks and it beat your ass punched you in the face that's crazy does the mattress also your mom you ever wake up feeling like you slept in a swamp because you're disgusting nasty ball sweat i see most of you on reddit so i know you have time to break up with that mattress get divorced from your mattress get a ghost bed that home you're worth more you're so strong well guess what ghost bed just launched their new mattress line it's designed to keep you cool supported in all the right areas if you catch my drift your giant hog and help you 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on that's ghost bed dot com slash unsubscribe use code on subscribe sleep better stay cooler this is a threat oh now going back to that night so everything's you felt the need to be there you're like okay i just got to be there yeah so anyhow what the deal was is there was some unusual radio transformations coming out of this area and it was actually a fairly long distance from where we're at we were already the southernmost element in vietnam in the mekong delta which wasn't a in vietnam in the mekong delta which wasn't a in vietnam in the mekong delta which wasn't a good deal because which wasn't a good deal because which wasn't a good deal because those guys would come all the way down those guys would come all the way down those guys would come all the way down through laos cambodia and then they'd use through laos cambodia and then they'd use through laos cambodia and then they'd use that river to that river to that river to so we constantly got into brand new so we constantly got into brand new so we constantly got into brand new troops it wasn't like they walked all troops it wasn't like they walked all troops it wasn't like they walked all the way down from hanoi to the way down from hanoi to the way down from hanoi to the mekong you know i mean we literally the mekong you know i mean we literally the mekong you know i mean we literally got guys that would be in country a day got guys that would be in country a day got guys that would be in country a day or two or two or two so anyhow so we fly in it's this night so anyhow so we fly in it's this night so anyhow so we fly in it's this night and uh and uh and uh it's a unusual rice patty and that it's it's a unusual rice patty and that it's it's a unusual rice patty and that it's has a good foot of water has a good foot of water has a good foot of water and a and a and a she had a good six inches of absolute she had a good six inches of absolute she had a good six inches of absolute peanut buttered mud peanut buttered mud peanut buttered mud you know you just you know immediately you know you just you know immediately your feet are wearing 10 pounds and your feet are wearing 10 pounds and your feet are wearing 10 pounds and extra and extra and extra and so so so we're clearing the we're clearing the we're clearing the i'm clear my team is we're clearing the i'm clear my team is we're clearing the i'm clear my team is we're clearing the hoochers on one side and hoochers on one side and hoochers on one side and camp perkins he's clearing them on the camp perkins he's clearing them on the camp perkins he's clearing them on the underside and underside and underside and we never do meat and uh it's just slow we never do meat and uh it's just slow we never do meat and uh it's just slow going going going and we got a problem in that the and we got a problem in that the helicopters are telling us that they're helicopters are telling us that they're helicopters are telling us that they're running low on fuel and we need to running low on fuel and we need to running low on fuel and we need to configure so we go up to the rice paddy but along with that i'm i'm stuck in this along with that i'm i'm stuck in this along with that i'm i'm stuck in this hooch hooch hooch has a huge bunker bigger you can tell has a huge bunker bigger you can tell has a huge bunker bigger you can tell it's more than a it's more than a it's more than a personal bunker for the family you know personal bunker for the family you know personal bunker for the family you know i'm trying to get them to come out of i'm trying to get them to come out of i'm trying to get them to come out of the bunker and they're making the bunker and they're making the bunker and they're making crying baby sounds and don't want to kill no babies so we let don't want to kill no babies so we let don't want to kill no babies so we let them go them go them go i didn't want to you know i didn't want to you know i didn't want to you know didn't have the time to deal with it didn't have the time to deal with it didn't have the time to deal with it any longer and so uh any longer and so uh any longer and so uh so we get out into the rice paddy and so we get out into the rice paddy and so we get out into the rice paddy and i'm talking to i'm talking to i'm talking to captain perkins because now we're hearing captain perkins because now we're hearing captain perkins because now we're hearing voices behind us voices behind us voices behind us and uh so i don't fly out with my own and uh so i don't fly out with my own and uh so i don't fly out with my own bird bird bird i don't fly out with my man it doesn't i don't fly out with my man it doesn't i don't fly out with my man it doesn't matter because all this end of the matter because all this end of the matter because all this end of the mission right mission right mission right they don't need me so uh we fly off and they don't need me so uh we fly off and they don't need me so uh we fly off and then we start taking a body count then we start taking a body count then we start taking a body count and we're short a man and we're short a man and we're short a man so we fly back and sure enough here's this so we fly back and sure enough here's this so we fly back and sure enough here's this dumb son of a dumb son of a dumb son of a fng fng fng new guy you guys call them pogues right cherries you guys call them pogues right cherries you guys call them pogues right cherries now now now fng is the right one this episode is brought to you by chat this episode is brought to you by chat this episode is brought to you by chat gpt gpt gpt hey it's bill simmons from the bill hey it's bill simmons from the bill hey it's bill simmons from the bill simmons podcast have you guys heard about simmons podcast have you guys heard about simmons podcast have you guys heard about chat gpt work it's the new way to use chat gpt work it's the new way to use chat gpt work it's the new way to use chat gpt for bigger multi-step projects chat gpt for bigger multi-step projects chat gpt for bigger multi-step projects and when you need more than just answers and when you need more than just answers and when you need more than just answers give chat gpt work access to your apps give chat gpt work access to your apps give chat gpt work access to your apps and files and it can create and files and it can create and files and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets real work documents like spreadsheets real work documents like spreadsheets slides and structured reports get slides and structured reports get slides and structured reports get started at chat gpt.com by selecting started at chat gpt.com by selecting started at chat gpt.com by selecting work mode available on plus and pro work mode available on plus and pro work mode available on plus and pro plants plants plants so uh so uh so uh uh the next chopper comes in to pick him up the next chopper comes in to pick him up the next chopper comes in to pick him up and and and and you know and then the guy on the and you know and then the guy on the and you know and then the guy on the other side jumps off other side jumps off other side jumps off it's just like one it's just like one it's just like one yeah just stupid but yeah just stupid but yeah just stupid but so anyhow we're running between that so anyhow we're running between that so anyhow we're running between that chopper and chopper and chopper and the enemy and the enemy and the enemy and oh as we're leaving to begin with oh as we're leaving to begin with oh as we're leaving to begin with they lay into us they lay into us they lay into us but we have two cobras but we have two cobras but we have two cobras and these cobras just blow the out and these cobras just blow the out and these cobras just blow the out of everything of everything of everything but they don't have the kind of rockets but they don't have the kind of rockets but they don't have the kind of rockets needed to blow these bunkers up that needed to blow these bunkers up that needed to blow these bunkers up that were in there were in there were in there in fact for the very first time we found in fact for the very first time we found in fact for the very first time we found concrete concrete concrete which is unusual down there so that which is unusual down there so that which is unusual down there so that means it's established it's not these means it's established it's not these means it's established it's not these dirt holes this is like an actual dirt holes this is like an actual dirt holes this is like an actual yeah yeah compound yeah so yeah yeah compound yeah so yeah yeah compound yeah so so anyhow they pretty well expend most so anyhow they pretty well expend most so anyhow they pretty well expend most of their we all fly away so the colonel of their we all fly away so the colonel of their we all fly away so the colonel he's going home and he's going home and he's going home and and the in the and the in the and the in the uh cobras are going home and the only people that are in the only people that are in the only people that are in communications are us two hueys and communications are us two hueys and communications are us two hueys and so we go back down and so we go back down and so we go back down and we got our ass shot down and we got our ass shot down and we got our ass shot down and so so so the chopper rolls and the chopper rolls and the chopper rolls and most all of our weaponry was thrown out most all of our weaponry was thrown out most all of our weaponry was thrown out into the rice paddy into the rice paddy into the rice paddy over the mud you couldn't see it you know over the mud you couldn't see it you know over the mud you couldn't see it you know there's a complete roll there's a complete roll there's a complete roll oh yeah oh wow yeah we're probably oh yeah oh wow yeah we're probably oh yeah oh wow yeah we're probably going 60 knots going 60 knots going 60 knots just it was dark at this point in time just it was dark at this point in time just it was dark at this point in time too it's midnight too it's midnight too it's midnight so uh And, you know, it beat the dog shit out of every one of us, of course. And a few of us had bullet holes in us. I didn't have one at that point. But anyhow, so I'm stuck underneath the helicopter. I finally get out. Captain Perkins, he's stuck. And so I realize there's still guys in the helicopter. So I jump back up in the helicopter. It's laying on its side now. And they try to help people out. And I get everybody out of the helicopter. And we're still receiving fire. These guys are still wanting our ass is what it amounts to. So I try using the M60 on the side of the chopper. But it's not working. In fact, most all the ammo had already been ripped off and thrown out into the rice paddies somewhere while the chopper was running. The helicopter pinned you down? And you crawled out from under it? Yeah, when it finally rolled, I was underneath. In fact, I actually remember, I dared to get my chin above the water. And just a little bit surely, I worked my way out of it. Captain Perkins, he was under there even worse. In fact, his hips were broken out of that deal. So here I am up there anyhow. And finally, they find two rifles. One's the M16 and one's my M14. And which is good. I have ammo for my M14, but I didn't have any ammo for my M16. So I think it was a door gunner. He threw me up the M16. I'd rattle it off. And then I'd throw it back at him. He'd put it back up. He'd throw it back up. And this is midnight, sir. Are you just shooting at muzzle flashes, basically? Yeah, yeah. On tracers, you know. They quit using tracers right away. Well, they really quit using tracers once I figured. I figured out where they were at. So I have my rifle, and I'm shooting, and it's not having any effect at all. And not surprisingly, the scope was askew. But I did catch one round splash in the water that reflected enough for my starlight scope to pick it up. And I realized it was down to the left, so I just started shooting up and to the right. And then I started hitting the little bastards. And so anyhow, that was working out pretty good. And then he's throwing up the M16 still, and so I'm trying to act like I'm more than one person, you know. But it's kind of a lonely deal. I mean, here you are. It's a shitty place to be on top of a helicopter. You don't have any cover, you know. But it's the only place I felt that I could be of effect. You know, I needed to have that feel of the fire. So that went on for some time. Finally, you can read a whole story about it in my book. It was 30 on one. Like, that's what they're saying. It's like, yeah, I have no idea what it is. Some of the guys I was with say more, some say less. But it's still enough where you were the individual on. Outnumbered. Yeah. Easily to say outnumbered. And as an infantry dude, you have, like, cover or concealment. And you're like, I need this vertical superiority. So I can just. Well, I really wanted to be in the woodland behind me. Because the chopper by that time was smoking and fuel all over hell. So I was kind of worrying about it burning, catching fire at any minute. Anyhow, so finally they figured out that we weren't going home. And so here came Colonel Pete. This guy was great. We called him Pistol Pete. He gets off that helicopter, and he's. With a 1911? Yeah. With tracers. 1911 with tracers. Good God. Literally Han Solo. I didn't know they had tracers in 1911. So anyhow, he's a great man. And I ended up being his platoon sergeant of snipers later on. But so we got some guys aboard and another helicopter. And the helicopter comes in, and we get some guys. And here I am, I'm all by myself still. I'm going like, how in the fuck am I ever going to get out of here? You know, now here and here comes the Cobras back that they don't really have any ammo. They fired what they did have, which was minimal. And so I got a ride on the outside of a Cobra in the middle of the night. That's what I do. I was that part of the story. I was like, wait, he was on a Cobra. What were you holding on to? How the fuck did he get on? I was like, I don't know. I'm going to have to ask this question. Because again, Cobras are not passenger vehicles. No, they aren't. Well, they have a little ammo door, which is about that wide. And then the struts right there. And then, of course, then you've got the rocket pod aiming that in. There's still one rocket in that son of a bitch that he couldn't get to go off. So in fact, I remember knocking on the canopy and pointing at it. He goes, eh, that'll be all right. Anyhow. So you were-- Don't worry about it. You had your back to a dud rocket that, theoretically, could have gone off at any time. I have no idea what it could have done. Don't fire. It shoots him back on back to where he was like, no. I had a right out of that hell hole is all I cared about. So we're flying along at treetop, which is what those guys like to do. Because that does give the enemy much time to really get shot at you. I'm sure you appreciated that as well at the time. Just a dark, dark night. And my skin on my chin's flapping. It's flapping around. And I have rigor mortis now. I can't even move. How much can you see? Because it's still dark out. And you're sitting on the rail of an assault helicopter going right over the canopy of the jungle. Well, you couldn't see a whole lot. Because as a pilot, I was looking inside that-- I knew the theory of flight on a Huey and any helicopter. So I'm watching the gauges. I'm just really interested in what-- what the hell these guys are doing. What are the RPMs and that shit? So anyhow, finally he slows down. You can feel it because my chin quits flapping and it's settling down. But we're hovering. And he goes, knocks on the canopy, get off, get off. you, I ain't getting off. I can't even see the horizon, number one, let alone the ground. I don't know if I'm one foot or 10 feet up. Apparently, he pops the canopy up and goes, get the fuck off. You know? So I mean, so there's one other guy in the helicopter by then, Mike Regressa. Pistol Pete had asked his Tiger Scout to stay with me. So there was actually two of us. He was on the other side of the Cobra. So anyhow, we're laying there and going, what the fuck, man? There's nobody around here. It's dark. Pretty soon, we hear Vietnamese talking. I'm going, oh. Oh, shit, man. Nice not over with. I'm still going to die. But we figured out, they dropped us next to an Arvin compound, is what it was. So the next best thing. A what now? Arvin, Army of Republic of Vietnam. The good guys. Good Vietnamese. The good Vietnamese. With going back to like-- But I couldn't walk by then. I mean, I literally had to push myself. I had to get away from the helicopter. I had no action or anything to-- And you didn't feel that during it? Because adrenaline, a lot of people don't realize that level of adrenaline. It's just, you're just going. Like, you don't notice anything at all. You're just, oh. Well, I had gotten shot in the finger. I had shrapnel in my chin. I didn't notice any of it till-- and my back was broken. And I found out later, my neck was broken. Yeah. So-- And at that time-- At that time, it was just-- And that was from the crash, the initial crash. Yeah. Yeah. And how bad during the engagement, would your stock on your XM21, 24? 21. 21 broke. Yeah. So you had all these little things. Well, imagine the stock having a split all the way from the butt to the pistol grip. Yeah. So instead of being a 6-inch stock, it was like a 8-inch stock or something like that. You know? It was hanging there. But that really didn't have any effect. It was the scope being a skew that was screwing me up at first. But once I figured that out-- And now through that-- As far as I'm concerned, that saved my day, you know? Through that scope, even with it being supposedly night vision, how well could you see through it? A whole lot better than you can see with the naked eye. Fair enough. It depends on the night. You needed, quote, a starlight. You need some kind of light. You need some kind of light in order for things to be reflective, you know? So in the darkest of nights, I might be able to see an extra 50 feet at the most, you know? And then they-- because of what you're doing, though, they had-- you downplay. You are a true infantryman. And it explains how you wrote that book, where you don't want the silly stuff you did. You want to-- you don't want to glorify that side because, again, gun battles, movies make it sound awesome. until you get in one, and then you're like, this sucks. well, oh, that's not as cool as it sounded like or looked like on the movies. I don't like that. And then you're experiencing it. But your action made it seem there was a whole bunch of people, way more U.S. soldiers there than there was, right? They're meaning at the chopper wreck? Yeah, because the enemy thought there was probably more than just. I was going to ask about that, too. How did you present yourself as it appearing to be a larger force? I had two rifles. Well, that doesn't get started. I was appearing to be two guys. That was it. Oh, okay. Yeah. But I never knew what I was going to get from that M16. It might have been fucking magazine filled with tracers, which would have got shit in my pants because that just told them right where I was at again, you know. Thanks, Clyde. Listen up, fellas. Fall is here. That means football's in season. What the fuck does that have to do with a pan? I don't know. Game day meals. Sunday hosting. Friday night lights. CTE. And a lot more time in the kitchen. For your wife. Whether you're making burgers before kickoff, wings for the guys, or breakfast for dinner, game day cooking should be simple. Good gear. Solid gear. Good sear. Solid heat. I can't fucking read. An easy cleanup. Plus, no baby. I'm making those pans. You don't gotta treat nothin' like a baby. Also, use Hex-Clad for damn near everything, 'cause they do an amazing job. And I have the giant wok, so it makes my Asian side happy. They even have a 12-piece set, so you can get everything you need to cook those delicious dinners I love cooking all the time. They also have a six-piece set. Perfect if you want to upgrade the everyday essentials you're using anyway. The laser-etched hexagonal surface is what makes Hex-Clad different. This has got a little hexagons on it. Don't go into football season with cookware that's gonna make the game day meals harder than they need to be. Upgrade your kitchen with Hex-Clad and make game day cooking easy as it can possibly be, all season long. And more than that, we've got a deal for ya! From August 20th to September 8th, you can get up to 52% off your Hex-Clad order, which is a very specific number. Don't know why, but it's a great deal. And upgrade your kitchen for the new season. Just head to hexclad.com/unsub. That's H-E-X-C-L-A-D. H-E-X-C-L-A-D.com/U-N-S-U-B. Support our show and let 'em know who sent you, us, that we sent you. Unsub sends their regards. We them you to this. Hex-Clad. Hex-Clad. What was your experience with the M16? 'Cause I know, at least for a good chunk of the Vietnam War, it was not seen as a reliable weapon. Well, the early ones, thanks to the United States Navy giving the Marine Corps shit, they were the only problems they had. The Army recognized it already. What they did was they slowed down the action from, like, 750 rounds a minute to 600. And Teflon coated some stuff and chrome coated some other stuff, you know. And it was a phenomenal rifle. It was better than the AK. The AK would -- I don't know how many AKs we ran into over there that were left in the field. They have a little cable inside of 'em. And that cable would rot out so fast down there in the delta from the humidity and the heat. Like the recoil spring? Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. So -- I know the chromelight barrel came because it was -- the M16s were having that issue at that first wave of them. It was, like, rusting, having pieces -- And that's why the Marines preferred to go back -- a lot of 'em went back to the M14 and stayed that way as long as they could. And I don't blame them a damn bit. The ones I had in training sucked. They had the same shit they gave the Marine Corps. You could hardly get through qualifying without it jamming, you know. Yeah. My great-grandfather was a combat engineer. He, like, did a -- operated, like, a combat dozer in the Pacific in World War II. Yeah. And then he was in Korea. And to some degree, he was in Vietnam. Yeah. And so, man had a bit of a career. But he loved the grease gun. No matter where he was, he would always try to pick up a grease gun. Yeah. We were an interesting unit. The 3rd of the 60th was kind of a test unit. So we got test clothing, different kinds of clothing that nobody else got. We got different kinds of boots nobody else got and stupid little things they'd give us, including weapons. Automatic shotguns and grease guns and shit. And we'd try 'em out. And if we liked 'em, we'd keep 'em. But -- That's kind of cool. The grease guns was, you know, just -- they weren't good. You know, it's just -- they were nothing but 9 millimeters or.45s that -- Yeah. They weren't accurate. They -- you know, from -- but, you know, for a jungle situation, not a bad deal. But -- When you were -- was anybody else in your unit -- 'cause I've heard a lot of, like, guys, especially point guys, would actually have their parents back home mail 'em, like, their Mossberg or their Winchester shotgun from back home. And they'd carry that on point over the M16. We didn't have a problem with that. It was -- we had access to all that we wanted. And we had one guy, I remember, he carried a shotgun for quite a while. But -- yeah, you know. I did not know they did that. That is a wild thing to be in combat. And then you're like, "Hey, can you send me -- me being over in Iraq." And then I'm like, "Brandon, can you send me the AK-50, please, just for, like, two weeks?" I get it. I'm like, "Cool, there." It just -- It has check marks on it. The idea -- like, this time in our country, where, like, you could just mail a gun to a combat zone, like, for -- Yeah. -- fucking Harry Potter getting the -- Yeah. -- fucking new broom or some shit. It's like -- Yeah. Yeah. -- just, here's a shotgun, not only across state lines, no transfer, but just, like, also, like -- Yeah. -- into a different fucking country that we're currently in a -- in a war. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The funny thing is -- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, to a lesser degree, not, like, mailing it from home, but, like, it's kind of crazy, because now everything's so uniform, especially NATO standards. Yeah. There's, like, just the shit that you use, this is what you were issued, this is what you will use. Yeah. Back in the day, it was just kind of -- the further you go back, the more it was just kind of no man's land. Yeah. Yeah. Like, with Teddy Roosevelt and the Rough Riders, like, buying Colt potato diggers, like, the machine guns. He's like, "Nope. Nope. I've got money. My guys are going to have the best shit." Yeah. Yeah. And there was also a platoon sergeant right before me. He got killed. And so, as a result, I was awarded all his goodies that weren't able to go back home. And one of them was a.357/38 pistol that was sent to him by his parents. And so -- That's still wild, like, the idea of just getting that in the mail. You're like, "Cool. I'm going to try a new firearm over during the war." Did you take it home? You know, I did feel comfortable with it. Him and I were really, really close. I just didn't feel comfortable with it. So I gave it to another platoon sergeant. Yeah. So -- In your book, you talk about -- I don't know if you developed the tactic or if somebody else -- and you adopted it. But I'd never heard of anybody doing it before. Once you were kind of working that sniper role, you would actually use tracers to tell attack helicopters where the enemies were at. Yeah, yeah. I thought that was really interesting. Did you develop that or did you learn it from somewhere? Did you pick it up? No, it wasn't me. I think it actually came out of a different battalion, but we called them hunter-killer teams. What we did was -- so we'd have a team of snipers, and one guy would lay out port door and one guy would lay out the starboard door. That's left and right in Army terms. You go down the rivers, and if you saw -- first of all, anything at night was -- down the river was free kill because they knew. Everybody in that whole war knew you don't move after dark or we're going to shoot at you. The United States put out so goddamn many little fliers, and they all knew what the rules were. And then stacked right behind us would be two Cobras. And we all didn't run lights. Had a little light on the very top that could kind of tell -- the chopper bubs could tell where you were at at least. Anyhow, I'd shoot around and tracer around. Then I'd get onto my radio, and I would start talking to the Cobras. And I'd tell them what I saw. And how far away my round was from the actual target. And so these guys would just fall out of the sky following that tracer. And they -- Beauty about to -- got caught in the mouth. Smoked dope. Anyhow, they would fall in on that tracer. And then I'd tell them what I saw. Yeah. in the middle of darkness, you kick those on. It's crazy, yeah. You were in the bathroom, but basically they had a tactic where the snipers would use tracer rounds to tell the attack helicopters where the enemy was at. At night, yeah. At night. On the rivers. I'm just thinking like being VC on the other side, like, ha, he missed. And there again was one of my lucky shots. I targeted this lone little dude on a sandpan, and they peeled off on it. And, of course, we kind of peel off to the other side, and you kind of have to turn your head around and watch, see what they're doing. But anyhow, we broke for lunch and refueling, which is midnight. And I went up to the Cobra pilots. I says, why didn't you guys lay into that dude? He goes, we didn't need to. You shot him. So I went, well, that was bad. Ah, yes, the final one round. So here I am in a helicopter shooting at a moving sandpan on a moving river. Like, how lucky can you get, you know? Yeah, task failed successfully. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But that was my fun. And as a platoon sergeant of snipers, I chose that. We had a night hunter-killer team. That was where I was going, you know. Every time. Now, did you have, since you were in that special, or that unit that did get to test stuff for your camouflage, was it still just, like, basic greens, or did you actually get to use Tiger Stripe? The only people that had camouflage, or allowed to even have camouflage, were snipers and the LURPs. That was it. Dude, LURPing is also, like, unusual. You and LURP, like, those two jobs are absolutely outstanding. LURPs, Long Range Reconnaissance Patrol. These are the guys that would go hump 15. 20, 30 miles out in enemy territory doing reconnaissance missions. That's one way. That is one way. Yeah. Yeah. Those guys were crazy. And also, I mean, you guys. Yeah, yeah. All of the guys, yeah. No, years later, excuse me, years later in the Vietnam War, they started issuing camouflage to the infantry. But I'm talking 68, 69. Yeah, towards the end of it. It's, like, well before, like, drones or anything like that. Just like, hey, Timmy. So, after the helicopter, obviously, you're jacked up. You've got to go to the hospital. You've got to recover. Circumcision thing happens. And then, yeah. I didn't get a circumcision. Well, fair. You've got to make fun of people. I still have a full-blown dick. My anteater is proud. You recover. And then, how does that lead up to you going back to sniper school and actually graduating? Well, you know, I would go back. Sniper school was pretty close to the port where we would. So, on the ships, you would, if you got close to your area and you had some time off, there's usually about three or four hours off. But that's all you needed to go get drunk. So, you know, so we'd go into the base camp. And one of the very first places we'd hit would be. So, I'd stop and say hi. And they had cheap beer. There was dime beer. So, I had to pay 20 cents in the NCO club. So, but anyhow, I rolled in there after that. And they says, hey, you know, we've been talking and we're going to let you take the test over. So, you didn't have to go through the whole program again. No, I just. Just retake the test. Yeah, they gave me three days to sharpen up and then a test day. And you had all the kills. Like, as you're saying, that guy had that on that board and you're probably leading it. That was the funny part of it because once he found out, he had to wipe all those numbers off and start all over again. Oh, no. It's kind of funny, like, having on the professional scoreboard some guy who's not even, like, part of your crew. Yeah. It's like a stock car racer getting smoked by a casual in a Honda Civic. Like. Wait a minute. Because I guarantee you weren't on the bottom of that board. Were you at the top? Oh, no, no, no. I mean, those guys have been there longer than I had as snipers. But I, by no way or means, was a top sniper. I was only a sniper for a few months. I was mostly straight infantryman in Vietnam. But imagine the shit that the guys at the bottom got blown. It's like, you're getting smoked. You're getting blown out of the water by an 11 Bravo. He's not even a sniper. Oh, yeah, that guy is definitely just pretty cool. We don't have to erase it, which another interesting part of the story. I mean, how did you end up with the XM 21? I mean, there's got to be a story there. You were homies with a buddy that hooked you up or oh, yeah, yeah. So the one I had on night of the helicopter crash, because I mean, you weren't a sniper yet, but you had the new experimental sniper rifle. There's a story there. Yeah. So I'm in once again, taking advantage of the 10 cent beer at the sniper school and these guys go, Hey, you know, we've been talking and, and, um, the armor says he has an extra rifle that really has no, you know, so we're thinking we can give it to you. And so then they go, Oh, let's go see if major pal is coming up sniper. So major pal, so they had to go make sure he wasn't anywhere around when they did. That's okay. Here you go. Don't show up here with that rifle though. Dude, there, your war was so much cooler when it comes to that. It's like coming back and be like, let's get some beers. I got absolutely insane to me. I cannot wrap my head around that. Like mid combat or coming back from a gunfight and drinking. Well, he also, he also stole a bunch of ice cream from the Navy at one point. That was a great story. Hey man, go for it. Go for it. I want to hear it, but brand it. Look what I got you. I got you your own poncho shirt. Cause you don't own one. I've never had one editor play any clip of unsubscribe. You do always wear them. Why? That's because poncho makes shirts for guys that actually go the outside. That's right. You will touch grass when you wear a poncho. You don't have to, if that scares you. But if you do like touching grass, these are a great shirt for you. They have an inner mesh to like, yeah, dude, that's what, that's why it breathes so well. Like actually like in, in West Texas summer, like I'm on the road in West Texas. All the time, ponchos are like the uniform because they, they look good. You know, the Pearl snaps, everything like that, but they also actually breathe. So you can be outside and just kind of roll the sleeves up and like, you look good and you feel good. The boys and the Pearl snaps and ladies love them for the record. It's probably the best shirt he's ever worn. I'm not even kidding on my daily attire. A poncho is like 75% of it. I think everyone wears ponchos. Yeah. Cause it's great. Like it's, it's comfy. You, if you need to be professional, it can look professional, but otherwise, just like going around, it breathes well. You could be outside doing sporty. Like it's just, it's all around just good for anything. And they do have a little bit of stretch, but I didn't have to worry about the cost of refilling my wardrobe with ponchos because we had the code unsub. How much do you save with that code? Well, I'm glad you asked. If you go to poncho outdoors.com/unsub, you'll get $10 off your first order. It's a hell of a deal. Brandon to make it even better. You get free shipping on top of it. By God, I'm going to start wearing poncho. You'd be crazy. Not to. So the Navy was. With us, uh, they would feed first started. They would look at you and say your army and they'd give you a hamburger or your Navy. I'll give you a kind of a steak, you know, I'll give you better food. Then they finally get that. We called them on that. So then we all got to eat the same. Only when we were in the minute we left, they, they had ice cream. They had all kinds of cool shit, you know, that we didn't get, they were saving it for themselves when we weren't aboard ship to see, we were only aboard ship at one. Ever four or five days and only for 12 hours at a time. Anyhow, just long enough to get some ringworm off of us and go back out is what it amounted to. It was shit, shower, shave, and then you're back out on mission. So this one day we all, we have a, we can all go to town, the ship, everybody on the ships go into town. So are we, you know, and, and I can't remember why, but there is a handful of us. I think it was four or five of us. We, we missed the boat. And so we had to wait for a half hour for the next boat to take us to the base camp. And so we start talking about, you know, those sons of bitches are eating ice cream, but we're not around, you know? So we went up to the gallop, we broke into the, into the freezer and here's all these big five gallon cartons, paper, you know how they did in paper, you know? Yep, brown paper. Five gallon. So we all grabbed a five gallon, five gallons of ice cream each of different flavors. We took it all the way down to the bottom of the ship where our berthing area was, and we're like eating this ice cream pretty soon. You know, you got shit, we didn't need a gallon, but you know, maybe at the most. So here's this 20, 25 gallons of ice cream is melting as we leave. It's hot down there. The Navy didn't like giving us air conditioning. So we come back and those cardboard sides had broken. And dude, the ice cream was all over hell. We didn't give a, we're walking through it. We're going to, we couldn't, now we have ice cream all over the ship. And the Navy was, the Navy was never happy with us anyhow, because we were, we were muddy and we didn't know there was something starboard and port, you know? I knew you left with just ice cream in Vietnam, which is. It's funny, ever since the Pacific, like that story you were telling. Like how much the, the logistics, like the supply train or the supply chain of the US military, we just flex on our enemies with shit like ice cream. ships yeah you know that's that's a sad thing about what's happened to our military and it's all because of fucking congressman from what i know but so not only did the usmj have different rules and regs when it came to law from combat to stateside for example uh combat as an nco i was god i could put you in jail for six months no questions asked you know oh uh you can't do that now no that's a news to me yeah and uh and the same thing with logistics they didn't give a if the form was filled out or not they needed a truckload of this shit or a boatload or what any hell they just got it to the front i swear to god i could have probably got on the radio and said tomorrow mornings i don't need some pink underwear this sons of bitches would either dieted or fattened you know they it was amazing but these guys were good at the logistics in vietnam were amazing what they did uh so they got it they got it to us you know well it's the it's the paperwork and it was that wave of oh i i've talked about it about like when the peak surge is happening in iraq that's what i experienced that was it and then my guys went back two years later and they were like oh man we had to fill out paperwork for the one gun fight we got into and there was paperwork and all this dumb shit i was like wait what you had to do how many rounds did i shoot all that crap you know and it's wild to think to have to do that especially after a gun fight because again during the peak it was they were throwing at-4s they were just throwing his ammo and they gave but yeah have fun yeah i didn't realize though also nco's having that level of command well i didn't i didn't know i did i didn't know i had that kind of power i remember thank god i got i got rid of two guys uh i just and the way i would do it is i wouldn't even confront him i just say hey you're supposed to get on the next chopper then i didn't want the confrontation to uh to piggyback what he was saying about being able to order anything i this isn't verified with like official documentation but there's this recurring story in the navy that apparently a on a ship a boiler technician ordered a fuel valve and it was like important so it was labeled priority like we need this right right now and there was a typo with the clerk or this technician and whatever the part number just happened to line up with like a portion of the top turret of an abrams tank so they delivered the top portion of an abrams tank on accident to a u.s navy ship like what priority okay here it comes don't know what you're doing with it but here you go i would be also very concerned like the fuck do they need an abrams turret for it doesn't matter priority hurry yes actually they were they're using tank turrets in vietnam on navy boats really the river see down where we're at they we didn't have the plastic boats that you see on tv because they would last one day i mean they're plastic they're not gonna last so the boats we used had like three foot walls on them and they still wouldn't keep a anti-tank round from coming through but at least they kept rpgs and small arms fire and that was our landing craft you know like world war ii but yep then the gunboats literally had sherman tank turrets on them with sawed off barrels it was great man right yeah i guess like riverines right no the navy came up with some cool shit they had they had we called it the zippo boat which had like 25 minutes of nothing but napalm why'd they call it the zippo bro i'm sure that's not a racist term like a lighter oh okay yeah yeah yeah that's your head out of the racism eli the the funniest one was they came up with this boat that shot water and it worked out really good because it shut this stream of water about 100 meters and it would like just level a coconut tree and if you hit a bunker it would blow the bunker up you know so they had a regular what they call a tango boat with the empty so they put two big cat engines in there one squirted to the left one to the right so swabbies would say harbor and port and uh they ran into some mud one day so those things were sucking up water so hard they one of them started sucking some mud up killed the engine they didn't have a think about kill switches and so the other ones still weren't going to just flip the boat upside down so now here you are stuck in this little canal that's so small you can't even turn around on you know but so it's kind of interesting what they used on it but yeah you couldn't plastic boats weren't and swift boats that john kerry type they didn't last the day down there did you ever have any experience with like i know the the gun trucks of vietnam are famous the where they were just basically building mad max vehicles no we i mean we had we had a lot our most of our ammo came from saigon down that's pretty fairly secure road down to our major base camp and dong tam was the name of it but south of dong tam is there's a whole different story but um yeah pretty crazy stuff on the logistics side of things it reminds me of that movie have you seen it the uh i forget the actual name it's like the world's greatest beer run oh yeah yeah that was pretty good just the guy who just like wants to go like link up with all of his buddies that are deployed they thought he was a cia asset so they let him through yeah he just kept going with it because he's the failing up looks like a cia dude and he's wearing a hawaiian shirt in country with no orders it's like oh we're going to take him wherever he needs to go yeah and his friends are like what the are you doing here it's like donnie or whatever is this chip so i what what happens when uh your tour comes to an end because i think you wind up in australia for a period of time and have some fun you know i wanted to go to australia oh i ran sorry drinking with australians yeah i met them in saigon that was funny and so i i run into this lerp medic from my unit and we both have camouflage fatigues on which was rare and these two aussies they wanted our fatigues bad so i'm going like here i don't know my buddy you're like i just got these pants yeah yeah so the the medic he wanted one of those aussie hats you know they had that nice big old fold over aussie hat and and uh anyhow one thing led to another after mass quantities of alcohol and we all just switched uniforms so we went around partying in saigon they knew saigon in and out that's where they were stationed and uh so they decided we all decided we're going to a whorehouse so so we go to this whorehouse but the goddamn aussies are now in american uniforms and they go through there these guys go crazy american gee i know you know can't come you can't come oh no and then finally they pull a goddamn pistol on us so we finally said okay i guess we don't come so no one's coming that day but we know more than god outside of that building and here is a jeep full of koi chans vietnamese police australian police military police and american mps we don't get 50 feet outside that building and we're grabbed so the americans grabbed the australians and the guardians grabbed me they're trying to figure out what the hell the axe going on here you know because they're about to get hanged as spies so finally this bird colonel he he's okay here's the deal you guys just get the out of here he says we don't want to see you again it's like what's the big deal then he goes we've been across the street watching this place for ages these guys are printing mpc military payment currency in the basement but it's off limits to americans probably the president of south vietnam was in on that who knows but but the aussies could go in there and have fun but the americans couldn't so and were you like i'll go undercover so so anyhow i'll do my research you know all these the aussies decide that we should go home with them we means we needed a bed and our bed was 50 miles away so anyhow so next thing i remember i'm i'm hung over like crazy and and um i remember somebody kicking me in the butt on my feet get these bloody and americans out of here and they go he goes who the hell are you man anyhow so we had to give back the uniforms you had a really yeah nick what was your text about oh yeah we can see if we can keep it or not okay it was just cracking me up he's like my god the whorehouse i was like oh ed had good times all over whorehouse is god we literally had full bird kernels well i shouldn't say that lieutenant colonels that battalion commanders that would send teams of people to go to another battalion's whorehouse and steal their horse they'd offer more money talking about them like cattle oh they need a new tap they need a new talent it's like a draft they're just thinking of their troops man they needed new talents and second battalion and the second pick of the draft drafts kwan ling you know uh colonel hackworth he he talks about that in his book uh i can't remember which book it was he wrote but i'm in one of his books i think still by soldier's horse but he writes about stealing whores from other from other units you know it was such a different war anything i experienced sorry your whores were livestock in that war it's crazy to hear just that yeah he'd send them with a goddamn three-quarter ton and a pocket full of money and they'd come back with a bunch of women you know it's a colonel a light colonel oh thank god no he wouldn't go himself got a job for you brother nowadays morale boost looks like a pizza party yeah it's falling totally they're gonna have mandatory fun day one of the first times i ever went to her house was right outside of dong tam and it was all off they were all off limits you weren't but you know so i decided to go down there and jesus christ i'm not there like one minute and this drunken son of a bitch in e7 is he's just tearing the place up raising hell throwing shit around you know it's all bamboo walls and tearing the place up in here so i got the hell out of there it was just nothing but trouble so i go back the next time and i'll be damned if there isn't an mp raid on the place so here's like two jeeps of mps with a three-quarter ton paddy wagon and they're hauling all of us gi's off i look and it's that same son of the the nco in charge of that raid is the same son of a bitch that was in there tearing the place up drunk on his ass you know i was hoping you pull the grandpa simpson you walk in you see the mps you turn around like you put your hand down you come back in you go back out so as they're hauling me off to the paddy wagon i i see him and i uh i i grabbed him oh i put that guy in my jeep would you so he put me in his jeep so we get inside the base camp he goes get the hell out of here that's the whisper i know so spider-man meme how about we don't talk about this bygones be bygones i'm shocked and appalled to find gambling in this establishment here you're winning sir the best whore houses i ran into were in northern part of them this this goddamn outfit had two whore houses and one of them you could get a mom only lets us have one oh yeah yeah you guys were lucky you got to watch a phone shit again it's just wrong how they treated you guys you're right in your congressman yeah yeah exactly not enough that can't be right okay fuck it while we're on the topic one of the funniest parts is i was actually on the topic one of the funniest parts is i was actually laughing last night reading it laughing last night reading it laughing last night reading it is when you were talking about how you got is when you were talking about how you got is when you were talking about how you got given a couple of days of leave after given a couple of days of leave after given a couple of days of leave after graduating sniper school graduating sniper school graduating sniper school he's passing the test yeah but you were he's passing the test yeah but you were he's passing the test yeah but you were out of money out of money out of money yeah you didn't have enough money for a yeah you didn't have enough money for a yeah you didn't have enough money for a whorehouse so you're like can i take it whorehouse so you're like can i take it whorehouse so you're like can i take it later later later well put it on my tab well put it on my tab well put it on my tab it wasn't too bad of a deal because you it wasn't too bad of a deal because you it wasn't too bad of a deal because you had a place to stay free food and free had a place to stay free food and free had a place to stay free food and free beer beer beer it was a r r center kind of deal and it was a r r center kind of deal and it was a r r center kind of deal and right next door of course is a whorehouse right next door of course is a whorehouse right next door of course is a whorehouse and i did have enough money for and i did have enough money for and i did have enough money for one hour one hour one hour i just like it's like i just like it's like i just like it's like wait till the rest of the three days i wait till the rest of the three days i wait till the rest of the three days i had to sit there drinking my beer had to sit there drinking my beer had to sit there drinking my beer watching these other guys come and go i'm watching these other guys come and go i'm watching these other guys come and go i'm going like jesus you know going like jesus you know going like jesus you know god god god ed what it is ed what it is ed what it is it has been an absolute pleasure having it has been an absolute pleasure having it has been an absolute pleasure having you on first off uh you on first off uh you on first off uh top top top explain your book or where where can the explain your book or where where can the explain your book or where where can the people find your book and you oh it's on people find your book and you oh it's on people find your book and you oh it's on amazon kindle amazon kindle amazon kindle audible and uh audible and uh audible and uh paperback and soon to be another paperback and soon to be another paperback and soon to be another probably 60 days uh probably 60 days uh probably 60 days uh hardcover revised edition with hardcover revised edition with hardcover revised edition with some more accurate stuff but uh some more accurate stuff but uh some more accurate stuff but uh how it actually came to be was that so how it actually came to be was that so how it actually came to be was that so i'd already been in like i'd already been in like i'd already been in like five books and six magazines and uh five books and six magazines and uh then history channel did the gig on me then history channel did the gig on me then history channel did the gig on me and this hollywood uh and this hollywood uh and this hollywood uh scriptwriter gets a hold of me and scriptwriter gets a hold of me and scriptwriter gets a hold of me and i fight him off for like a month or so i fight him off for like a month or so i fight him off for like a month or so and every week he called me up and and every week he called me up and and every week he called me up and finally he says well you know i'm just finally he says well you know i'm just finally he says well you know i'm just going to get your story from the guys going to get your story from the guys going to get your story from the guys you served with and i you served with and i you served with and i at the same time i thought i need to at the same time i thought i need to at the same time i thought i need to make this accurate so i sent it to three make this accurate so i sent it to three make this accurate so i sent it to three guys i was in vietnam with and one of guys i was in vietnam with and one of guys i was in vietnam with and one of them happened to be a them happened to be a them happened to be a or forward observer ed zeke and he was or forward observer ed zeke and he was or forward observer ed zeke and he was a uh a uh a uh a writer for hearst newspapers had a a writer for hearst newspapers had a a writer for hearst newspapers had a after vietnam he played football for after vietnam he played football for after vietnam he played football for michigan and got a master's degree in michigan and got a master's degree in michigan and got a master's degree in english and english and english and so he's helping me along with this and so he's helping me along with this and so he's helping me along with this and just just just not as much as i was hoping not as much as i was hoping not as much as i was hoping he just let me go at it but anyhow so i he just let me go at it but anyhow so i he just let me go at it but anyhow so i get through but i'm just talking i just get through but i'm just talking i just get through but i'm just talking i just talked about the day i got there until talked about the day i got there until talked about the day i got there until the day i left and the day i left and he's demanding i talk about who i was he's demanding i talk about who i was he's demanding i talk about who i was how did i get there how did i get there how did i get there you know what it was like to come home you know what it was like to come home you know what it was like to come home so so so he ragged on me and ragged on me and he ragged on me and ragged on me and he ragged on me and ragged on me and and uh and uh and uh finally i uh i decided what the hell so finally i uh i decided what the hell so finally i uh i decided what the hell so uh uh uh strangely enough this never happens strangely enough this never happens strangely enough this never happens so i sent the memoirs to one so i sent the memoirs to one so i sent the memoirs to one publisher this guy meets me at shot publisher this guy meets me at shot publisher this guy meets me at shot show with a ten thousand dollar check show with a ten thousand dollar check show with a ten thousand dollar check i mean how many authors get that happen i mean how many authors get that happen i mean how many authors get that happen to him you know to him you know to him you know so uh so uh so uh we start talking and i said well you we start talking and i said well you we start talking and i said well you know i want the disbursement it wasn't know i want the disbursement it wasn't know i want the disbursement it wasn't causing him any more money it's just causing him any more money it's just causing him any more money it's just we're going to have to change the way we're going to have to change the way the contract was written the contract was written the contract was written he said no problem i'll um he said no problem i'll um he said no problem i'll um go back to new york we'll finish it i'll go back to new york we'll finish it i'll go back to new york we'll finish it i'll send it to you sign it and i'll send send it to you sign it and i'll send send it to you sign it and i'll send you the money you the money you the money i'll get back to my booth at the shot i'll get back to my booth at the shot i'll get back to my booth at the shot show i'm there with americansnipers.org show i'm there with americansnipers.org show i'm there with americansnipers.org and we are raising funds for and we are raising funds for and we are raising funds for active duty snipers because the army doesn't know how to because the army doesn't know how to because the army doesn't know how to provide snipers with the provide snipers with the provide snipers with the with what they need with what they need with what they need supply sergeants don't have a clue what supply sergeants don't have a clue what supply sergeants don't have a clue what they're talking about so anyhow we do a they're talking about so anyhow we do a they're talking about so anyhow we do a better job than the army does better job than the army does better job than the army does really announced too really announced too really announced too but anyhow uh so i go back to my booth but anyhow uh so i go back to my booth but anyhow uh so i go back to my booth and there's this card from this dude and and there's this card from this dude and and there's this card from this dude and i i i call him up and yeah what is he and he call him up and yeah what is he and he call him up and yeah what is he and he says well says well says well one of the snipers that you guys one of the snipers that you guys one of the snipers that you guys supported over in afghanistan supported over in afghanistan supported over in afghanistan you personally supported you personally supported you personally supported sergeant sergeant sergeant reese uh reese uh reese uh he says uh he says uh he says uh he tells me you're writing this book and he tells me you're writing this book and and that you're a little bummed out because you're going to have to probably sign with somebody and you'd really rather self-publish. And he says, so have you thought about self-publishing? And I said, well, I have, but I really don't want to spend the $8,000 it costs to do it right. This dude writes out a check for $8,000, and then he writes that one out for $10,000 for American snipers. He says, I can't take this money. I need to know what the hell you want. He says, I just want a book. That was all he wanted. No shit. So he allowed me to be editor, you know, the whole route. And I think therein lies why that book is so good, too, especially my brothers. And, you know, I've even had Marines write me and say, man, thanks for just being honest about your fears and, you know, how things went down. And that kind of stuff. That you're not going to have some woke publisher tell you you can't talk about whorehouses. Yeah. I'm serious. I was worried about my mother more than anybody else. She already knew I was kind of a whoremonger. I'm telling you, it's one of the best memoirs I've ever read. Really? I'm excited to read it. I've read a lot. It's one of the best ones. I get this email from this professor. That's the best goddamn Vietnam memoir I've ever read. And I've read over 150 of them. He says, I've read every goddamn thing I can read on Vietnam. And so I says, well, obviously you weren't an English professor. He writes back. He goes, I sure as hell am. He says, it's not about the editing when it comes to punctuation and spelling and this and that. It's like how it flows, how it gets the point across. So that was my biggest academic kudo. I'm not going to brag any further on what he had to say. I will. As a history professor, Nick vouches for you. It's fantastic. This is the most text we've got about a book. Really? Yeah, Nick texting us about the book. That and another guy that self-published it. It was Ed and the Pied Piper of Saipan were the two books. I was texting you guys crazy about it. And he also self-published. You guys get to tell the story as you want to, and especially individuals like yourself. Well, some of the stuff. I mean, I was interviewed a little. I was interviewed a little bit by a guy by the name of Lanning. He wrote the book, Inside the Crosshairs. And I told him, I said, you know, my kills were all under 100 meters, or 600 meters, excuse me. And he goes, oh, Ed's kills were all over 600 meters. I'm like, hey, fucker. There's not a sniper in the world that would believe that crap, you know. So those things were embarrassing. So that was kind of my will to. And I tried to correct things just by telling the frigging truth. If you like it or you don't, I don't give a shit, to be honest with you. Just wanting to tell the story right. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. It's a true soldier that doesn't want. You don't want to glorify anything. You're just like, hey, this is what actually happened. Because it is embarrassing if one of your guys, like if any of my friends seen what I did. Just by telling the truth, I'm glorifying myself, I thought. By just being proud that I went from a stupid-ass country boy to a platoon sergeant. To one of the first 55 snipers in the history of the Army, you know, I mean, like, that was enough. I might as well tell the truth while you're at it, you know, so. Ed, holy shit, it has been an absolute pleasure having you on. We are. A great podcast. So thankful for you coming out, hanging out. How long have we been doing this shit so far? Two plus hours? Almost two hours. Yeah, we're almost about to creep up to two hours. Pretty cool. Brandon, if you want to close this out. Absolutely. Thank you for joining us on this episode of the Unsubscribe Podcast. I am joined today by Eli Doubletap, Ed Eaton, Nick the Fat Electrician, and myself, Bro-Nup Operator. Thank you so much. We love you. Bye. Adios, amigos. This episode is brought to you by chat GPT. Have you guys heard about chat GPT work? 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