Valentine's Day Special | Reading Reddit Stories

Hello and welcome to Smoshreads Reddit Stories. I'm Shane and today is a very special Valentine's Day episode It's extra long. So enjoy that and I'm joined by two people who Love Valentine's Day Courtney and Angela. I don't know if that was true or not. I just said it gets your sweet tarts out Yeah, Valentine's Day pancakes and dildos out whoops We knew it was gonna happen I'm gonna say something else. We don't get demonetized. Get your pancakes and vibrators out Get your pancake and tinder out. It's Valentine's Day. I wonder what's take things It's your pancakes and condoms out nice get your pancakes and intentional conversations Yeah, whoa gets your pancakes and your dental damn. Oh damn get your pancakes, and it's not me It's you out. Oh Wow, do you have one ten options? Do you like Valentine's Day Depends on the year I like it though because it's like yeah, how sweet? What a Friday feels like a Friday Yeah, it does feel like a Friday. Well, look at that Luke Warpink. All right I love it. I love it. I used to love it as a kid when everybody would give you candy and you just had so much candy Yeah, and I wish people seized the day more of Valentine's that was secret admirers would do their thing I think people should bring that back Yeah, as a reason. Yeah, sometimes people just need a reason we're making this episode extra long so that you can have sex 100 times Video if you have sex during Smoshreads Reddit stories, please put yourself in the comments. I am the silent majority We want to get into some of these stories. We must Mass is the season Okay, let's hop into these stories. First one. Ooh, there's an old school one. This is from 11 years ago November 30th, 2014. This was posted in the relationship subreddit I a 27 year old man and concerned that my semi-girlfriend 23 of a couple of months is with me for my celebrity status. I've worried about this in the past This is obviously a throwaway for a good reason without going into much detail I am an actor on a sitcom and have been for a few years I am a supporting actor and most of you would not know my name But many would be familiar with my character. I'm certainly far from a big deal I am not famous enough to be followed by paparazzi thankfully, but I'm recognized regularly on the streets I do find financially, but I'm not Brad Pitt. I wish exclamation mark And I don't live a very high-profile celebrity lifestyle. I'm happy just staying in on the weekend I recently met someone at a coffee shop. I sat next to her and we started chatting She was down to earth and when she asked what I did, I told her I did some acting Nothing uncommon around these parts. She didn't seem to recognize me and I didn't go into more detail I got her number and we texted a few times Then we met for lunch and she said something that made it clear she recognized me We've hung out since then several times. She wanted to introduce me to one of her friends who is a killer fan of the show That made me nervous. Apparently, she is just a big fan I didn't really like to be paraded in that way But it was fine. That's part of my job to some extent The thing that is getting to me is that she often refers to me as though I am my character For example, I might say something sarcastic and she'll say okay character name I'm not on Facebook, but one of my friends is and he friended her He showed me her page and she wrote a few months ago. Oh my god. I met my name I think he is into me #Selebgirlfriend Whoa, okay Okay, it's all laid out Okay, where there's look at the hashtag Use of hashtags on Facebook aside. It started making me think she was into me for my character or to show off and not into me This is obviously a problem in my life I have dated two actresses neither who are all that famous both had their sites on bigger things I know for a fact that at least one was using me as a way to get her name out there It worked. I'm very happy for her Otherwise, I am attracted to students bartenders, baristas, etc I tend to date around rarely in serious relationships because I am concerned that they don't like me for me I play a very extroverted, confident character, but that isn't me in real life My self-esteem is fine, but I guess I'm a bit paranoid I feel like this girl likes me, but would she if I wasn't a minor celebrity? Is there some way to know? Am I doomed to dating within the industry? Do most people realize that who we are as characters is not really how we are as people? Any advice is appreciated. Oh, and yes, I am a regular redditor I lurk on the sub-a-lot, and I appreciate the advice of those not in the industry Thank you Dang Well, okay 2014 Oh well, no? 2014 I'm so curious who it is I was having fun picturing it as what's his name? George Costanza Fully George Costanza Jason Alexander is writing this, like yeah, I think I think she's dating me for this Oh my god, I'm dating George Costanza My initial thought was Gunther from Friends Wow Funny But this, this is, I mean, there's not even a question Of course, she's, she's posting on Facebook about it You saw the group Yeah, I thought, I think I was thinking about that too But there's no like extroverted side character that I can think of You know Look up the top sitcom in 2014 Please I think, I think there's, it's not just that he's an actor Right, I think seeing a Facebook post from when you first started dating someone And they're posting publicly about you in some way And like putting your name out there It's uncomfortable, right? Yeah I mean, this person is using them Because of the Facebook game Totally Yeah But like on the larger scale talking about their dating life, that does suck Yeah And like, to be when you're speaking and that person going okay And then calling you a character you played is like so parasocial and strange Really? To, to, to, to, you're just not treating them like a person You're treating them like a character and that's Yeah, I think that's a little ridiculous I, um, I mean, I would have told this So this guy in 2014, it's the same now is like He's just happens to be dating A, the wrong person Yeah So I'm like, I've lived in LA for a long time I've been in the industry a long time So many of my friends are in the industry There are tons of non-industry people Who really don't care Like, tons Yeah, tons, countless It's a big city Yeah It feels like, yeah Once my friend went to a bar, I will never forget this We were, it was like my best friend And we were, we were hanging out and then she was like dancing with some guy And I was over there and I was like, oh my god, they're hitting it off And then she was like, they, they started asking each other what they do And he was like, I'm in a band and she asked what band And he went, do you mind if I just get to know you first a little bit And then she came and told me that and then they kept dancing And then we left and I always wanted to know Oh my god, imagine if it was like Paramore or something Like literally, I think you only say like, do you mind if I get to know you a little bit more before? Yeah, it's, it's a tricky thing I think it's something that transcends just our industry now though with the internet Because there's tons of people who are big online all over the world now So it's just a thing but it's a matter of finding someone I get that you don't want to be dating someone who's into you solely because of something like that Yeah, it just puts you on edge, that kind of stuff can put you on edge And if you're not feeling like safe Even it's not like this person isn't a threat But when you feel like you're being perceived as your profession Even in like your home and in settings where you're wanting to be private Like that just isn't a safe feeling I feel like this person, it sounds like it's happened to them a couple times But I feel like the more they date, the more they'll be able to look out for the signs Like, I just watched the four-hour Billy Joel documentary And he has four, he's had four marriages And his last marriage he's with now He like, on their first date started playing piano for her and she didn't give a shit And he really liked that And then they got they like started to fall in love over their love for motorcycles and other things And he was like that was the first time I was kind of like I'm going to follow that because I've never followed that before Where it's like following the signs of connection that aren't based off of your success But based off of something you enjoy Well because your job and it's so many things, right? Your job, your looks, your even to some degree like your skills Those are all like external things And if those are the only thing that the person you're seeing is into You're like, well, what if I don't have that? Yeah There's a possible future where I don't have that Totally Or what if I can't play the piano anymore Or what if I, as I get older, my looks fade What if like, what if my career goes downhill And so it's like, oh, is the attraction only built on that? And what's something not about me, but about something we could share together? Exactly Because then there's a power dynamic there But if we're both just like, we love anime How fun and we can connect on that Totally How fun And the loves anime Obsessed So I think this is extremely valid And she's painted it very clearly for him Yeah, I mean posting on Facebook and media And you know, maybe there are certain circumstances Where maybe it started that way for her And then she's like, oh my gosh, I'm actually getting to know this person beyond that True And I know it's 2014 But I don't trust people who use hashtags on Facebook - Yeah. - I want to really look at that, huh? - Comments, I live in West Hollywood, so I've seen a lot of this. I think the key is time, simply getting to know her better and her getting to know you better. If she is in the industry and using you, you are already learning how to recognize this. But if she is not in the industry and just a little dazzled and excited, I wouldn't take this as a death blow. She's young and our culture has become really obsessed by this sort of thing. As she gets to know you, it will gradually become obvious whether she likes the real you or not. What you are asking for, if you think about it, is what we all want, a guarantee, does she or he really like me or just my looks, my money, my status, the fantasy in his or her head, you don't have to be a celebrity to worry if the person you're with is really seeing you clearly. We all struggle with this. Your situation just has a more easily identifiable element to it. But this is why celebrities hook up with celebrities, ex-patriots with other ex-patriots. Thank you, pretzel. Millionaires marrying other millionaires, you try to find someone whose life cancels out the extraneous factors. I can see why, but it doesn't really address the ultimate problem we all face. Does the person I am with really see me? And to add to that, we seldom show our real selves because we are convinced deep down that we aren't all that lovable. LOL, so dating becomes a test. I'll hide who I am and you come and find me. - I love this comment, you're going, you made me famous for this to be relatable. - No, everybody deals with this. Also, I live in West Hollywood. (laughs) - Someone said, just admit it, you're Al from Home Improvement. - Oh my God. - I was thinking like according to Jammer Home Improvement. - Oh, he said, LOL, I'm more like the guy behind the fence. - Okay. - So that's the level. - So I am right on like a Gunther. - Yeah. - Someone said, as a non-famous redditor, this is somewhat outside of my wheelhouse, but I don't really think this is totally unique to the show business world. Personally, as a lawyer, just starting out and not rich notable by any means, but still, I definitely get the feeling that women are interested in me for the wrong slash financial status reasons sometimes. I haven't really figured out how to deal with it either, but I'd say you should trust your instincts if you think she's using you. Otherwise, I am attracted to students, bartenders, baristas, et cetera. That said, I think this is the problem, really. These are probably the last types of people you want to date. You need to find someone who is more established in a legit career, so you're more or less equals and who isn't interested in ingratiating themselves in the world of showbiz. - Okay, this makes me think, I liked hearing it from the other perspective, like thinking about it that's not an actor, it makes it less fame focused, and now makes me think of my inherent stereotypes about people. Like, I have had crushes on three different painters, because for some reason I think they're so cool, and that's the same thing that this person's doing, but like-- - Interesting. - But is there a job like a lawyer that you would be like, whoa, this person inherently cool, and it's actually just a stereotype you have? - Yeah, I mean, I love, I think doctors, the doctors in my life are awesome, and I just like, they, 'cause they see so much shit all the time, and they just know so much. - Yeah. - But, yeah, but even then, I'm like, I'm sure they deal, we know people, we know doctors, who it's like, people come up and they're like, I got a mole on my back, can you look at it right now? Even though your homework, taking care of your kids? Like, yeah. - Yeah. - Oh, he responded to that saying, I saw someone else just wrote that I date down. I understand that, but not too many years ago, I was a student and barista. I grew up in a small town. I think being a lawyer is something you earned through your education, et cetera. I don't know what my equals would be as I don't wanna date anyone in the entertainment industry. She is going to graduate in May in engineering, if that matters. These are just the people I've been attracted to. I've dated professionals as well, but I keep coming back to the person I meet at quiet places. You've given me something to consider, however. - Yeah, I don't know if I fully agree with that of like, oh, you shouldn't date baristas, bartenders, all of that. So she has an actor because as an actor, you'll have a job and then you won't have a job. And then you are back to being a barista like. - And if people don't know you, they don't view you as that. You know, it's like you are inherently that. Like, we've met people in our lives before when the dynamic is set based on how you acknowledge the situation, like where is she came in as being like, I'm a fan, I do this, oh my gosh, I'm a fan. Creates that now dynamic that didn't have to be there before. - Right. - It puts OP on a pedestal, which is uncomfortable. - I think also, like he clearly is not someone who views someone's career as like who they are. And so he needs to find someone who views the same way and he's worried she doesn't. 'Cause she's making it very clear she doesn't. - Update. - Oh. - I am. - I am. - Jim Parsons. (laughing) - I'm Michael Scott. - Your kindness and sage advice was overwhelming and I apologize for not commenting more in that thread. I did however read all of the comments. I also apologize if I did not respond to the many private messages I received. Several wanted to know who I was, sorry. Some wanted to know about other famous people on Reddit, probably quite a few. And I especially appreciated the messages from those of you who have been in similar positions, same with comments to that effect. Anyway, after thinking and reading, I decided that maybe I was blowing the situation out of proportion, but also that I needed to be honest about my feelings. She and I talked for a long time. I more or less told her everything that I said here. I debated about just showing her the post but decided against it. It was a great conversation and brought us much closer together. I'm happy to say that this conversation also led to the exclusivity talk. We are officially a couple now. Oh, a few things. Did didn't see that coming. She apologized about the Facebook post but also explained it. She said that she assumed I was just a womanizing celebrity who got numbers just for the sake of doing so. The celeb girlfriend thing was sarcasm as she figured I would never contact her. I did laugh at her use of hashtags on Facebook. She admitted to me that it was a bit overwhelming for a while because she figured I would just date within the industry. I guess she also googled me and saw who I have dated in the past. I assured her I don't make comparisons like that. She told me that the shock of things has worn off and now she just sees me as a person. She did joke about the character thing and she said that she could never date the character I play. When she brings it up, it is just some gentle ribbing. That made me feel kind of silly. She said what many of you said me being in a sitcom is who I am, she can't just ignore that but she said she is much more excited about the production work than any of the acting. She wants to know how things work. Me being an actor to her is not all that different from anything else but she warned me that many of her friends might see it differently. Some already want to know if I'll introduce them to celebrities I've never met and probably will never meet. If I did, I'd probably be in shock. When they realize how little of a deal I am, then I think we can easily blend our friend groups and whatnot. A couple of you mentioned dating down, et cetera. She also informed me that she has two job offers for when she graduates at large firms. One is here and the other is in Portland. As of right now, her plan is to stay here and I factor into that. I am not looking at her as the person I'm going to marry. Could she be? Yes. Then again, so could a lot of people in my past and my future. Instead, I'm going to enjoy the ride. She was mature and did a lot to assuage my concerns. She even told me she thought I was using her for access to the university's library. Ah, she's beautiful and so it seems she does like me for me. Who knows where this will lead, but I sincerely appreciate all the comments. They help me to organize my thoughts and to just say, to hell with it and to actually talk to her. Nice. I'm-- And-- And I am-- Her story is like, I don't want people to judge me for who I am, and I'm like, who isn't? And I am the dog with a blog. [LAUGHTER] Well, I'm glad it worked out. It's kind of what I was hoping. No. Yeah, she chilled out. Yeah. I do think the ribbing, I'm still like-- I would be like, hey, do some else. Yeah, but stop that. Just do some else. Yeah. All right, our next story. This comes from "Am I overreacting?" And we're back to "Current Times." We're back to "Current Times." It's posted in 25. We're back. We're off of Facebook. July of 2025. Oh, boy. What's it say? What's it say? Jane. Those stories were chill. Now it's time to start getting into it. OK. Uh-oh. "Am I overreacting? One of my partners keeps trying to make me lactate." Ah! So many questions. So recently, I, a 19-year-old woman, have run into an issue with my partner, a 20-year-old man. While cuddling and other things, he starts sucking and rubbing my nipples. At first, I thought it was a one-time normal sexual thing, but he kept doing it for a couple days. Then things turned interesting when he started playing baby crying sounds while he was doing it. I asked him why, and he said, because I want to save money since I drink so much milk. He goes to the gym and is anal about his protein. Somehow, I doubt this is the only reason as he is obviously into my breasts. I told him to stop playing the baby audio noises, but now he was like a baby trying to simulate lactation. I told him to stop doing it. I told him to stop doing it because men can lactate, and I'd rather he does it himself. He got angry and said it was easier for women and that I wasn't being frugal, and that prices were high enough. Oh, my God! I'm so happy we're together for this story. Am I overreacting? I'm so happy we're together. At it, he also bought me lactate. Tation crackers from Target. - Look, Tation, crackers. (laughing) - What a gentleman, eh? - What a smart job of ending machine. (laughing) - And it's not only just for milk, it's for fucking protein. - Hustle milk. - Huh? - It wants to build up. Tiny little piece of shit. - Oh, my God. (laughing) - He's like, "Come on, give it up." (laughing) - Oh, sorry, baby, it's expensive. - Wait, what? - Did you imagine, wait, is he playing like, baby sounds like on his phone? - Yeah, he was playing audio of baby. - What a fucking scary guy. - She's 19. (laughing) - Hey Siri, pull up, baby's crying. (laughing) - Time for sexy time with my girlfriend. - Oh. - Do you imagine making out with somebody and they're playing babies crying so they can save money on protein? - That is so fucking weird. - Yeah. - Not much else to say. - We gotta get some sauce too now. - Oh my God. - This guy's a character, huh? - Yeah, he really is. - Well, verdict, not overreacting. Comments, the amount of ewes that came out of my mouth before reading the whole post. Sorry, I shouldn't have laughed, but it's rather weird. Breast play during sex is an unusual, however, turning it into a feeding/baby situation is strange. I feel like he's using the cost of milk as an excuse because why would he be making baby sounds otherwise? Also, what does he think you are, a cow? This is just icky. I don't know what else to say. Has he shown other weird behaviors in the past suggesting he is into kinky stuff like this, but you just didn't pick up on it? Someone else said this is a known bodybuilder thing. There's a misguided belief that the trace amounts of human growth hormone help with gaining muscle, but it's not true. Either that or it's a fetish. Neither is okay. - Dude, just bulk up on your own. I don't know how to explain it. - Just ate some Parmesan. - OP responded, that makes sense. He takes a bunch of supplements like ashwaganda, creatine, and a bunch of other stuff. The other stuff being steroids and meth. [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER] - She's this is rich. - Someone said, dude, it's gross behavior without discussing it first, and not only did you not consent to this kink of his, he told him to stop, and he's still doing it. That's not okay. Not in the slightest, I would be sitting him down in a serious fashion, not all in the moment of being intimate or him trying to initiate, and tell him he needs to cut it out or he will be cut out. It's not all right to impose kinks on someone when they explicitly tell someone to stop. Yes. - Oh, my God. - Also just, yeah, it's so creepy that in the beginning. He just started trying that without talking to her about it. Like, literally, she's the coke machine at the AMC. Like, I'm blown away by this. - Yeah, he's at the movie theater pressing all the buttons. - Can I get Galinda Sprite out of here? [LAUGHTER] - Which not that good, by the way. - Pink Sprite, I thought I would change my life. - It did it. - Can you make a wicked margarine? Okay, lastly, someone said, how many partners do you have? Maybe you just don't need this one. - Yeah. - Lower the roster, just because you eat the cookies doesn't mean you automatically lactate. What the fuck? O.P. responded, "Three, but he is my nesting partner." Producer note, a nesting partner is someone you live with sharing a home and daily life, common in polyamorous or ethical non-monogamy relationships. So, likely living with this person, according to O.P., I agree, if. - This is insane. They're going to use your body on an insane level that is not okay up to them ever. - Massive red flag. - Massive. - Past the red flag, it's the thing. - And just because they're your nesting partner, it doesn't give them a free, get out of jail, free card for doing stuff without your permission or consent. - No, no. - Okay. - All right, let's please move on. - That's the end of it. - There's no update? - No update. - Okay, well, here's my update for you, girl, run. - Yeah. - Run. - Update, she ran. - Yeah. - Update, she ran. That's in my, she ran. - Update, she ran. - Our next story comes from true off my chest. This was posted in October of 2022. This is a 31-year-old woman. My husband, who's 33, of four years, has a weird relationship with his pregnant coworker, 23-year-old woman. I'm not sure if I should be worried or not. It already sounds like you should be. - Yeah. - My husband has worked with Kelsey for the last two years, and I never thought anything about their relationship was strange until now. For the past five months, the amount of time that has lapsed since my husband found out that Kelsey was pregnant, he has gone out of his way to support her in a way that makes me uncomfortable. I might be able to understand his actions if they weren't so extreme, but they mostly strike me as downright strange and out of character for him. For one, when he found out she was pregnant, he came to me and asked if he could give her a thousand dollars to help her with some of her expenses. He said that Kelsey's baby's father was out of the picture and she was struggling. I don't know Kelsey personally, but I can sympathize with her situation. I agreed to let him write her a check for $250. I did think this was odd though, because my husband has never been all that charitable. I've never known him to be the type of person that goes out of his way to help a coworker or a stranger, but whatever. A few weeks later, my husband came to me and asked again, if we could help Kelsey out. This time, he wanted to buy a pram for Kelsey. The one he had picked out was quite expensive, so I wasn't comfortable with just giving him the okay. We spent about a week discussing it before we finally agreed to purchase a cheaper one for her. This came after he asked her if the second one would be okay. I took this opportunity to ask him how much more money he wanted to spend on Kelsey and her baby. We had already spent $500 on them at this point, and I was starting to get concerned. We had a fight about this where he accused me of being selfish. He said that he was trying to do a good deed for someone, and that he thought I would be happy to support a young mother to be like Kelsey and her baby. I didn't feel a little guilty afterwards, so I backed off. Fast forward to last week, I found out after the fact that my husband had bought a $150 gift card to babies R Us for Kelsey as a Christmas present. We had another fight about how much money he's spending on her and her baby, and again, he accused me of being stingy. I asked him how much more he planned to spend and he told me that he didn't know. I asked him if he could see how this situation could make me uncomfortable and how it might lead to me thinking something was going on between them. He said that he was disappointed that I would think his good deed was anything other than him trying to help a coworker. He has been giving me the silent treatment since that fight and making passive aggressive comments, which is frustrating. I can't get him to understand that my concerns are legitimate. Besides, it's not like we have the ability to keep spending this kind of money on Kelsey. In addition to spending the money, my husband also has spent a lot of time helping Kelsey in other ways. He spent time fixing up things around her apartment before the baby comes and doing other odd jobs for her. Like kissing her? (laughing) All of this makes me extremely uncomfortable, but anytime I bring it up, he accuses me of trying to stop him from helping someone in need of assistance or being greedy. He won't acknowledge what I think is very worrisome behavior. At this point, I wonder what I'm supposed to do. I think he really is trying to do a good deed, but part of me worries that something else is happening. I don't wanna believe he would cheat on me. He's never given me a reason to suspect this, but I can't help but wonder sometimes, especially when he's gone with Kelsey to her OB/GYN appointment on two occasions, though he claimed it was because she needed a ride. Does he have a point? Am I being selfish for hassling him over helping Kelsey? How should I try to get him to understand his behavior is making me uncomfortable? I'm not sure how I should handle this situation. Nothing seems to be working. - Ma'am, you gotta talk to Kelsey. - This is your husband, they're married? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Oh my God. - This is rough. - This is real rough. - This is rough. Is there a world in which he thinks he's like getting away with this? - The audacity of some people who do shit. - 'Cause he's the father. He's clearly the father. The fact that Kelsey is agreeing to him coming over, agreeing to all these things. 'Cause like if I was a pregnant person who had somebody wanting to help, who wasn't the father, who was a coworker, I'd be like, this isn't appropriate. - Yeah. - Or they're in love, he's not the father, but they're recently in love. Like there's no way, that's such an intimate place to be at the OBGYN. - Yeah. - That's not like, let me help her carry her groceries up the stairs. This is like, let's go get her vagina checked. Getting the pram is a big gift that comes from people in close proximity to the person who's pregnant. Like, the prams a big one. - He's helping out around her apartment. - And going to OBGYN appointments. That's his kid. - It appears so. - And guilt tripping her for being concerned, because money like that, kind of you want, it needs to be a group decision, a team decision. - Totally. - According to another person, is OP looking to have a child one day? We don't know, but it's like, that's a lot of money going to someone that she doesn't know. - And gaslighting your partner when they're like, I don't want to spend all that money on that. And they're like, well, you're being stingy, is what I heard. - That's kind of wild. - It's also not. - They give the money to an orphanage. - Yeah. - Other people. - Yeah, literally. - I was going to say, based on her writing this and posting this post, this is clearly not like typical behavior from him, right? If he was a type who's always like, oh my gosh, like, I want to give to this person. I want to help these people out. Like, let's volunteer here. it's a good day. Suddenly, out of nowhere, he's like, no, I wanna give thousands of dollars to this person, dedicate tons of time, and you're selfish for not thinking we should do that. Like, this is out of nowhere from him, it seems. There are people who I feel like it would be in line with the behavior to be like, oh, they go out of their way for everyone, but she's not making that seem like that's the case. And it is a very weird, specific case where it's like, he should recognize like, hey, oh, this would clearly be uncomfortable, not only for my wife, but possibly the coworker too. Or like, is there any part of him that's like, this is gonna give my wife the idea that I'm maybe the father. - Yeah. - Come on. - I'm acting like the father, I'm supporting the child, is any part of her gonna worry that I fuck her? - His response to her is what gives me the most suspicion. - Yeah. - The way that people who cheat, like guilt trip, their partners is usually the biggest sign. - I'll be shocked if he's not the father. - And that Kelsey, the fact that Kelsey is accepting all of this, tells, it kind of furthers my assumption. - Yeah. - She's okay with it because. - It's one of those where if we get an update, I feel like she's gonna be like, oh yeah, and this one time, he did this. And of course, yeah, he did cheat on me in the past. Like, it's always leads to that. - Yeah, I'm not saying that. And this one, I think she needs to talk to Kelsey. - Is he the father, Reddit? - Well, we have comments. - Okay. - And they write, sounds like she's pregnant with his child, to be honest. OP said, it does seem like that could be true. The only thing is he's never given me reason to suspect him of cheating. No late nights at work, no business trips, no- - Just going to the OBGYN. - Just everything I wrote down. - Not like sexy stuff, just like father, the child stuff. - Someone said, that's his baby. Someone said, does Kelsey even know you exist? She's definitely pregnant with your husband's child. The only questions are, has he been lying to her about his marital status? And are you going to make him truthful when he tells women 10 plus years younger than him? He's single. OP said, I don't know. I always assumed she knew I existed. Oh boy. - Okay. - Update. - Yeah! Since many of you asked for an update and you were kind enough to offer advice, I have decided to give one. The first thing I did after making my initial post was to confront my husband directly again. I asked him point blank, if he was so involved with Kelsey's pregnancy, because he was the father of her child. He denied it. I then asked him to introduce me to Kelsey since he had given her money that belonged to both of us. When I mentioned this, he got very defensive and accused me of being insecure. I responded by saying that I at least had a right to know the person I was helping and that he shouldn't have a problem with me meeting Kelsey if nothing was going on between them. He then told me that he wasn't going to introduce us and that I needed to work on my jealousy issues. I decided to contact Kelsey the next day. - Yeah, yeah, yeah! - Gather! - I found her or at least the woman I thought was her through a Mutual Friends Facebook page. I sent her a message telling her who I was. I explained to her why I was concerned about her relationship with my husband and requested that she please let me know if she was having my husband's baby. She sent me a very nasty message back. I will spare you many of the details. The basic gist was that I was old and unattractive and unable to satisfy my husband. So he found someone better. - Oh my God! - Kelsey, no, not my Kelsey. - Among other things, she claimed that the baby was my husband's and that he was planning to leave me but felt sorry for me and couldn't bring himself to do it. She ended the message by telling me that I should let him go so they could be together. It hurt a lot to read that message. It still hurts for me to think about it. I confronted my husband that same night. I showed him the message. He got really quiet and admitted that she was telling the truth but denied telling her all of the horrible things she said about me. He said it, getting her pregnant was a mistake and he was only trying to do the right thing by her and the baby. - Oh, right thing by her! Oh, oh, right thing by her. - Why? - He denied that they were still sleeping together and said he wanted to stay with me and have a baby with me. I have no idea if either of these things are true. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. Everything has happened so fast. A couple of days have passed now and I'm still thinking things over. He wants us to go to counseling to try and to work through this but I don't think I'm interested in working on our marriage. It would be hard for me to get past this if he had cheated but the fact that he may be having a child with this woman makes it harder. If I stay with him, she's always going to be in our lives. I have thought about waiting until we can do a paternity test to make a final decision but I don't know if I want to do that either now. It may be easier if I just make the change now. I have started looking for divorce attorneys. Most of my family and friends have told me I need to get out of this marriage and each day I get closer to making that move. I just need a bit more time before I'm ready to make a decision. - Support comes from wise. The smart way to manage the currencies you need around the world. Your life is global. Your money should be two. Some providers promise no fees on overseas transfers. Don't be fooled. Extra costs often hide and bloated exchange rates. Choose wise. You can send, spend, and receive money in over 40 currencies. Count on the exchange rate that you'd usually see on Google. That's how millions save billions on hidden fees. Be smart. Get wise. Visit wise.com. T's and C's apply. - Update number two. - Oh, she ran. - Oh, she ran. - Update, she ran. - I'm not going to stay with him. As soon as I'm able, I'll file for divorce. - She ran. Update, she ran. - She literally has all the material, adultery. There's physical proof of it. - There's cat lot in, there's manipulation. The DMs, it's all there. - She's got a frickin' baby, man. - No, man. - She's got a frickin' baby. - Give me one of them. - Cotton dry? - She's calling you nasty things. - Hey. - You know, he's saying nasty things if she's saying nasty things to me. - It's simple, but it's also heartbreaking. I feel bad for her. - But it's like, cut dry, like he was gaslighting her hardcore up until she had to show him the DM. And then he's still trying to lie to her. I don't believe a word, he says where he goes. But I didn't say anything, that stuff out. No, I don't care, I don't care. It's all true now. - It's mind blowing. - You want to meet her? You're so messed up with jealousy issues. It's crazy. - Yeah. - Also, I can't stop so dumb. - I can't believe he thought he would get away with this, being like, I'm just gonna ask her if she'll just make some donations to this random woman. - Yeah, wow. - Yeah, I mean, every time it's like how dumb do you think people are? - Yeah. - This is making me think of something I just want to put in as a request. It'd be so cool to have a little button that's like, or like a bell. And it's a, ladies and gentlemen, we got 'em. - Oh, that's good. That's good. - That's good. - And then lights go off and we go, wow! - A disco ball coming out. - And it's like, ladies and gentlemen, we got 'em. - I like it. - For audio listeners, they're like, I'm done with the show. - They're like, I like this 'cause it's conversational, please don't make this full of bits. (laughing) - All right, and that's the end of that. - I hope she told everything you was like. - All right, our next story comes from Am I overreacting? This was posted earlier in 2025. Is there a logical reason for my girlfriend to say stuff like this? And there's a screenshot of a conversation. - I love text threads. - Me too, me too. - I read it. - It's one message. A friend sent OP a text. I'm so mad Mr. Beast is engaged. Like how the fuck did he have no girlfriend when I first watched him? Got one. I got lucky enough they broke up. He shortly got another one later, then quickly proposed, crying emoji. Okay. - Does she think she has a chance with Mr. Beast? - I, a 24-year-old man and my girlfriend, 23-year-old woman, will go from some of the sweetest convos to her saying stuff like this out of the blue. (laughing) - I'm sure I'm not the only person that has dealt with something like this, but honestly, just trying to get an answer from both sides. Have you done this before and why? And if it's happened to you, how did you go about the issue? It feels disrespectful to hear from somebody that states they want to be married to me one day. Her reasoning is that it's somebody famous and there's nothing to worry about. But I don't see that as a reason to be able to tell my partner that I wished I could be with somebody else. Am I overreacting? I think it's 'cause it's Mr. Beast. - Yeah, I think that's the best. - Like if she was writing this to you, she was like, "Oh, Chris Hemsworth is married." - Yeah, you'd be like, "Oh yeah." - You'd be like, "All right, ha ha." - Mr. Beast. - Anybody. - Maybe she's being funny. - Maybe she's hilarious. - What? But okay, so getting what you're right to highlight that part because that part is so unusual and it made me scared that maybe there's a potential feature that we're living in that Mr. Beast gets sexiest man alive. - No. - No. - Nope, I will not let that happen. - Courtney will not let that happen. - I will not let that happen. - Don't let that happen. - But it is interesting like when people in relationships out loud will talk about like other people. But then there's like celebrity crushes versus like God, our waiter is so hot. I wish I was with our waiter, right? - Versus like I get it when it's a celebrity 'cause it's like, oh, you're just kind of like sipping after them in a parasocial way, right? I don't know. - Yeah, like you're almost talking about it, like a fictional character. I get it. - Like a hall pass. - I get it, but it's also something like with your partner to like, no, like to read the room a little bit. And he's talking also about just like in the middle of a genuine conversation she just throws things out. - Yeah. - I think it's something worth talking to her about. Definitely. The verdict was not overreacting comments. I have never seen a Mr. Beast sent before, that's new. Someone said, I got lucky enough they broke up. LMAO, what? Lastly, someone said, who wishes they were married to Mr. Beast is concerning. I mean, sure, obviously he is rich, but as long as we're dreaming, think of all the famous rich people you could pick from. I'm wondering if this is an inept attempt at making OP jealous in the hopes that it'll push him to propose. Maybe what a weird way to communicate. Yeah, at first when I heard the text, I was like, oh, maybe she's mad that Mr. Beast went from single to engaged before she did. Like, you know what I mean? We're just like, oh, even Mr. Beast can get engaged before me and I'm like, same girl, same. Yeah. But it doesn't sound like that. Sounds like there's nothing sexy about playing with people's livelihood. I'm sorry. There you go. Mr. Beast, there you go. Those three. Yeah, I don't know what to say to this story other than he just needs to follow up and be like, hey, what's what, what? What was that back there? Yeah, what, what was that? Yeah, it sounds like he's been kind of okay with it up until this point. And like, he hasn't really voiced. Doesn't sound like he's really voiced that he's kind of weirded out by it. Like, because, you know, I think couples joke all the time like, oh, you see that, wow, that person's hot. It's not crazy. It's like, anyways, moving on. But not like a, oh, it's only my, my, my hero. Mr. Beast. Mr. Beast, come for me. It's only I met you before him before you. Yeah, yeah, that's where I'm weird. I mean, this is such a weird text that it's like, it could be interpreted multiple ways. Is it, you're talking about it in like a hypothetical or talking about it just in like a fun, fictional way or are you talking about it like, oh, this, if only, this was-- Like, I would jump at the chance. This is a possible thing for me and I would, yeah. There is like ways that I think couples talk about other people in, in, you know, crushes, like celebrity crushes and stuff. That is fine. And then there are people who take it like to that next level of like, really talking about like, oh, I wish I was with them. Or like, that's disrespectful. Yeah, she's not single. Yeah. What a crazy thing. I also just think it's strange. It is, it can be in a, in a, in a pair of social light where it's like, you don't know this person. Like, you think you, you want to date the idea of this person, but you're currently, you're currently in a happy relationship. But the idea of this person, you do not know who has heavily edited all of this content. You do not, who that guy is. We do not know who that guy is. Yeah. It's like acting like she has a shot, which is even more harmful than OP. Yeah. Yeah, like, what am I, what am I? What am I? What am I? Chop, level. Hey. All right. Moving on. No, update or anything? No update. I wish OP had like a second example. I know, it's just one text. Like one text. I'm like, yeah, I don't know what to say. Yeah, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're text we got. Oh boy. Yeah. We'd be a six hour special. Yeah, it'd be as long as possible. Absolutely. All right. Our next story. This comes from relationships. This was posted in 2016. This is a 26 year old woman writing in about her boyfriend who's 28 and her sister-in-law who's 25. My boyfriend's sister-in-law gave him a plushie for Christmas and didn't make one for anyone else, okay? I just want to start by saying that I realize I might be totally wrong and insecure in this situation. I just really want another perspective or something because I just can't help the fact that this bothers me and I am admittedly feeling jealousy. I have been with my boyfriend for six months at this point. He has four siblings, three brothers and one sister, and we are the shortest relationship in the family. Three of his siblings are married and another isn't a very long term relationship. I think the shortest relationship in the bunch is five and a half years, so I will admit I am a bit intimidated and insecure there. For Christmas this year, his sister-in-law made him a homemade plushie of this little blue baby dinosaur-looking character from his favorite game, Guild Wars. The plushie is amazing quality and he absolutely loved it. But she didn't make one for any of the other boys who also loved the game just as much. Not even her husband. In fact, she went out of her way to give it to him without his other brothers around except for her husband. Her husband was just as excited for her to give his brother the gift as she was, but it just felt off to me and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Why would she work so hard on something for my boyfriend and no one else? And it just felt like such a personal gift that I could never match and I just feel like she totally took away from what I gave him. I did try talking to my boyfriend about it and how I thought it was weird. He said he didn't think it was weird at all because she has always been closer to him than the other brothers. Well, shouldn't she be closer to her husband than him? He didn't get one. I don't know. He'd give it back to her saying he can't accept it and he refused and said I'm being ridiculous. I just feel like a woman doesn't make such a personal gift for a guy unless they see them as something more. It was just how I was raised and I hate feeling this way about something like this. I talked to my mom and sister and they both agreed that it wasn't right and that this was most likely the beginning of her trying to push me out. I just can't help but feel like she was trying to make him like her more than me because he said she has never given him anything before. And this is our first Christmas together. I just don't know what to think or if I'm overthinking this completely. Okay. Because the sister-in-law gave him this gift along with her husband and her husband was just as excited to give him the gift. Oh, they gave it to them as a couple? The couple gave it to him. She just happened to make it. Oh. So it feels like a couple giving him a gift more so than just. Yeah. I don't know. There's a lot of missing details. Like what's the overall culture of gifting? Yes. At the holidays for you guys. Does everyone give something to everybody or is it like because I have a big family, sometimes we kind of secrets Santa it in a way because there's so much money, it's that knitting knitted sweater. Yeah. When you gift something that's handmade from the heart, it always stirs up some drama. And that might be what's happening here. It might have blinded OP or just like altered their vision to tad in terms of like adding a lot of thought to something that was kind of not meant to have too much like weight. Yeah. I think the ask of give it back to her is a lot. Yeah. That's really intense. I just wish OP like expressed how they felt to this person instead of telling them what to do. Just told them how they felt and made their partner decide what their actions were off of that. I would have asked the sister in law like so what inspired you to like make this like what what gave you guys this this like I don't know if I agree with the sentiment that like when the gendered part of this being like it if opposite genders give each other a gift and it means a lot whatever that sentence was in there. It was like then it means more or something like that. It just seemed. Yeah. She said I just feel like a woman doesn't make such a personal gift for a guy unless they see them as something more. Yeah. I don't agree with that whatsoever. Yeah. Once my best friend him and I were like on an improv team together forever you see like he was one of my roommates and also two other girls and this was right when like big t-shirts were in and I was getting some good ones and he would take my t-shirts and this is like a brother to me. He would take my t-shirts constant and he would wear them. So then I started to take his because I was like okay I'm out of shirts because I took his ones and his girlfriend saw me in his shirt. Oh. She was one of my closest friends at the time and she went what is that? Why are you in that? And I was like I can't express enough. Yeah. The sight of him makes me disgusted. I am not in love. He's just my roommate. He's taking all my shirts and this is she probably didn't know that he was taking your shirts. Yeah. It was just one of those things. I don't know why that made me think of this. There's the added layer of this is a sister-in-law and the husband was well aware of the gift. Yeah. And to me is like hey man, you're making it weird. Yeah. I also wonder sometimes, sometimes you make something cool and then you're like alright I don't really want it anymore. Hey this person might really like it. Take it. Yeah. Like there's so many reasons why. And I also, I forgot my whole point to my story was that I didn't realize that my friend was triggered from past relationship of her, you know what I mean? And like the second I was like oh he steals all my shirts, I'm out of shirts. This was a protest. And she was like honestly I think I was just triggered. I thought my ex cheated on me. I was just like what is this? You know? Yeah. So I wonder if this OP's adding some other, I don't know, like trauma to this. Yeah. It feels like just a plushie. Yeah, she's clearly like you don't care about something. Comments, you're reading way too much into this. As someone else said, there may be a backstory on Injoke there that you don't know about. Also, it's entirely possible that she's working on gifts for everyone else. If it says nice as you say, it probably takes a while to make so maybe she ran out of time. She's happily married to his brother and gave him the gift in front of her husband. And you think she's trying to push you out? That's some master level insecurity there. Well, he responded saying, I guess the time thing is a good way to look at it. It does look very professional. I don't so, so I really don't know how long something like that takes. And that's just how my mom has raised us. She has always been very protective of our father. I try not to be her because I know she can be a bit much at times, but this situation just completely threw me off. And it's honestly hard to see his other siblings and significant others fitting into the family units so well while I'm just the outcast. I think she's being really insecure there. I'm like, you're, you've been dating this guy for six months, like, you're just not integrated into the family. I don't know what's going on. Yeah, man. Like, give it some time. You're making something about you that has nothing to do with it. Yeah. Her insecurity is going to be what pushes her out. Yeah. Yeah. You are overreacting. [BLANK_AUDIO] and controlling girlfriend will drive him away. You've been together six months, and you're already trying to determine what presence he's allowed to receive from his family. Yeah. That's crazy. You're the one making up a wedge to drive between you and his family, not her. Calm down. It's a stuffed animal, not a blow job, which is probably what her husband got and why she didn't gift it in front of you. OP said, "It wouldn't have bothered me if it was from his actual family. It's just that it's the significant other of his brother that bothered me. If his actual sister made it for him, I would never in a million years have asked him to return the gift." All right, she's losing even more. Yeah, she's really got to let go. This is internalized massage and being pretty hard, core. Lastly, someone said, "I think you really are looking too deeply into it." You commented that his brother was also really excited to see him get it, so there's maybe some kind of backstory here. You are coming in on half a decade to the other relationships, which can be totally daunting. They have five plus years of fights inside jokes and experiences together. Good luck. Yeah. Update. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. What do you think the chances are that the sister-in-law and him are? Well, what's the worst? What do you think the chances are? Sister-in-law bought my boyfriend a pram. Update, he ran. My first post wasn't popular by any means, but it got a decent amount of comments, so I figured I'd update. I went a few weeks without saying anything else about the subject because everyone on here seemed to disagree with my side of things. Then last Saturday, he told me he was going to be spending the day at his brother's just to hang out. We generally make plans on Saturdays, but I hadn't had the chance to make plans official with him yet. I just figured it was implied at this point. So I asked him if I would be allowed to go over there with him. That's when he told me that it was just going to be a day with him and his brother. So I reminded him that since it is his brother's house, then most likely his wife will be present too. Ultimately, it blew up and I told him everything. Brought up the gift again and just how I feel intimidated by everyone and feel like his sister-in-law is on some pedestal or something because she gets to be there and I don't. I also mentioned how I just feel like I was being pushed out by her and that the gift made me uneasy. He was frustrated and told me that he was going to his brothers and that he would talk to me later. So I spent all morning Saturday on edge and just completely jealous. Then around 1pm, his sister-in-law called me. I guess he gave her my number and asked me if I was free to meet her for coffee. I was confused but agreed to have coffee with her. I expected it to be awkward. At the coffee shop, she wasted no time to tell me that my boyfriend had told her everything. She said she wanted to meet for dinner because she wanted me to see her face and see that she was genuine in everything she had to say. She went on to explain that she had no feelings for him in the way I was implying to him and no intention of pushing me out. She said her original plan was to make the plushie for all the boys since they all play the game. But it took her way too much time to make no one so she wanted to give it to her favorite brother-in-law. I questioned why not her husband and she said that she lives with him and he knew she was making it in the first place and that she could make him one anytime and just wanted that one to be a surprise, Christmas present. I told her that I still kind of thought it was inappropriate since he was in a relationship now. And she just paused and didn't say anything for a few seconds. >> You can't get plushies when you're in a relationship. >> Yeah. >> It's a rule. >> You're not allowed to stuff animals when you're in a relationship. Then she asked me if there was anything else that was bothering me. I used to day as an example and said it bothered me that he went to her house and told me I couldn't come because it was a day with his brother even though she would obviously be there. She told me that it is a day with his brother and that just because she lives in the house doesn't change that. She said that she kept to herself doing her own things while the boys played video games with each other and that my boyfriend came to her when she was in the kitchen to talk to her about me briefly. I didn't say anything. I still felt a bit jealous but I just didn't know what to say. She then asked me if I had anything else I wanted to get out and I declined. She said that she didn't want to part ways without giving me some advice. She went on to say that she thinks I'm a very nice girl and that the entire family feels that way and wanted to remind me that all of the spouses and significant others were new to the family at one point in time. She went on about how it takes time to feel a closeness with everyone and that she went through it too. She then said that she didn't want to come across the wrong way but that I needed to work hard on my insecurities or else I would lose my boyfriend. She just went on and on at saying how I am so nice and that I am ruining a good thing by letting myself overthink these things and by being so insecure. She told me to really think about how I am acting over his own sister-in-law interacting with him. That's when my stupid brain made me say, "Well, if you were to get a divorce, then you wouldn't be a sister-in-law and you would just be another woman in his life." Hello? Hello? That was the moment it finally hit me just how crazy I was being. Whoa. She gave me this look and said, "Well, we aren't getting a divorce so and I just felt completely embarrassed and apologize." She then very nicely told me that on second thought she thinks I might not be ready for a relationship at all and that I really need to work on myself. That was pretty much the end of it and we parted ways. I spent the rest of the weekend crying and hating myself. My boyfriend didn't call me or text me at all. Finally on Monday he asked if he could come over so he came over and asked how it went with my sister-in-law and I had figured he knew everything. But he said that all she said was that he needed to talk to me. Turns out he didn't talk to me all weekend because he was angry with how I acted about him going to his brother's house, then bringing up the gift again and he just needed some space. He told me that he wasn't going to put up with this type of behavior and that it is putting way too much unnecessary drama into his life. As I'm sure you're probably guessing, he proceeded to break up with me. He told me he really cared about me, but he just can't imagine how bad it will get in the future if I'm already acting like this with people who are his family. I begged him not to leave and that I would do everything to change and he just wouldn't budge. I haven't heard from him since and I feel like I had my heart ripped out and stomped on. It hurts so bad and I know this is all my fault. I have my mom and sister telling me how it's good, Rins, and how he broke up with me so that he wouldn't have anything holding him back from his sister-in-law. And this just broke. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I am so done with my family and the way they put these toxic ideas in my head. Wow. I'm just done. Happy update. From here I am planning on working on myself and hope to someday maybe convince him to give me another chance. I don't know why I wrote this update. It just feels good to get it out, I guess, and further convinces me I need to change. Wow. Wow. Wow. Okay. Hot take. Her not knowing why she's writing this update. She's writing this update because the people she's looking for for advice are not helping her. From that one sentence, it sounds like her community is not building her up and is actually traumatizing. Really where she got those things from. And I love when we see these people on Reddit that are like, I don't really know what I'm doing here. And you're like, oh no, that's your human instinct to need connection and community because you need help right now. And you're not getting it from, it sounds like your parent, your mom or your sister. No. It almost sounds, and this is reaching, but it almost sounds like her mom and sister are so toxic in the way that they almost don't want her to be in a relationship where they're convincing her that this relationship is bad. Yeah. He just broke up with you. He'd go be with his sister-in-law. Yeah. It's going to cheat on you. She had the sister-in-law in front of her telling her, hey, I am no threat. I've been where you've been. It's hard. So maybe your feelings of being the only, the new person are clouding you and making you feel jealous or something, but I'm letting you know, don't act this way. I mean, she still was like, well, you're my way. Her relationship with her boyfriend was over before she went and met with the sister-in-law, though. No. I think he had already made his decision. Well, yeah, I mean, that argument just sounded so messy to accuse of that. Like, do you have known each other for five plus years? Also, sister-in-law, that is a girl's girl and someone who everyone deserves to have someone like that in their life that is so compassionate and willing to tell you something like that. Yeah. We don't have, not everybody has those people in their lives. Yeah. And it's that conversation sounded really tough and it sucks that the relationship had to end, but OP needed to experience this to change for the better, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I wish OP heard the sister-in-law out and reached out to her boyfriend and was like, I was so wrong, I'm so sorry, instead of, like, hiding and being like, oh, no. Gosh. But you know what? Also, I do want to say I also understand when you are the new person to a dynamic, sometimes feeling like so lonely and insecure that you think everyone's out to get you. And you, like, you kind of mess with your own narrative and you're like, and that's why you need people that are going to be like, like the sister-in-law and not like her family. Sure. Hey, you're in your head, just like how the comments were like, hey, respectfully, you're in your head. Get out because you're going to ruin this for yourself. Right. They didn't predict that. It took a lot for her to finally register for her. Yeah. Because having insecurities is one thing, but when people are telling you something. Yes. How much you fight back and let those insecurities win is a big deal. Yes. And it took her to reach a certain point to then hear herself. Gosh, that sucks. Oh my god. But she's young. She's learning this now, like she's going to be grateful for this moment eventually. I really believe because she's, she's 26. There's a lot of time to change how she handles these things. And in her next relationship, not let her insecurities win. Yeah. you're in a situation like that, you have like I think you said this to me once and it hit me forever or in my therapist's soul. So similarly where it's like emotions are not facts. Yeah. And to set the feelings aside and the fact is like there is so much beyond her these relationships that have been around longer than she has five and a half years, this sister-in-law had five and a half years to go after this brother. I'm glad she like almost woke herself up by being like if you weren't married, if you guys were getting a divorce, you would just be another woman. And she was like, well, we're not. She was like, whoa. Yeah. She really in that moment disconnected with her ego. Yes. Like, oh, I'm not even saying this stuff. This is some other part of me. Just any woman is a threat. Yeah. She had a breakthrough. Yeah, I think. Just a little too late. A little too late. But she's young. But also never too late because when you have one, it's like great. Great. You're there. Yeah. Anyways, our next story. This comes from today I fucked up. This was posted December 2025 as of post as of filming this. It's like a couple days ago. Whoa. Today I fucked up by telling my wife how hot she looked in a shirt. Boo. Boo. Bad. Can't believe we did that. You fucked up. This happened not even a half hour ago. We are going out for my mother-in-law's birthday this evening and my wife came out and asked if the shirt she was wearing looked okay on her. It wasn't anything special but she looked damn good in it. Really good and I told her so. It fit great and was just the perfect amount of tight in the right places. I joked about looking forward to getting it off of her later. Making the lame dad joke about the only way the shirt would look better is if it was on our bedroom floor. She laughed and said I was going to regret saying that. Turns out my mom gave it to her. It wasn't new. My mom had it for a while but hadn't worn it for years. Oh, oh, oh. When we visited her over Thanksgiving weekend, my mom and my wife went through her closet to see what she might want before donating the rest to a shelter. My wife started to tease me asking if I thought it looked that hot when my mother wore it. Then our kids started piling on. No. Doing extra with it after being icked out by my earlier. The kids were in ear shots. Kids were there. No. There were children. A few minutes later, my phone started blowing up. My wife took no time to share this with my mom and my sisters. Now I'm getting shit from every side. I'm the ammunition. I have no doubt whatsoever that my wife will make sure to wear the shirt the next time we get together with my family. I love to think like he's like, no, everyone knows he like leaves and it's cut to him in time square and it's like. You want to fuck your mom and you're served. And you're served. Whoa, this is silly. This one's silly. There's no breast milk for protein here. No. No, not here. No. Comments. Next time she asks about her outfit, just say, it would look better on my mom. Someone said, no, that's not a fuck up. It's rarely a bad idea to tell your SO how hot you find them. Someone said, my wife wants surprising with some lingerie. We were getting into it and she let me know that it was something that my mother bought for her. Needless to say, this immediately killed my erection and started a conversation about why on earth would my mother buy lingerie for her to wear for me. Needless to say that it ruined lingerie for me for the rest of my life. Someone said, Sigmund Freud is smiling in his grave. Nice comment. How many upboats is that one guy? Theater kids. Anyways, this is silly and this is funny. I agree. I have a picture of my mom in the 80s looking like really hot and cool in my apartment. And I'm like, if someone never walks in, who's that hot woman? I would be like, Lee. Good barf and jump out the window. I love it. When I hit me down or I gifted like a second-hand item, fits you like a glove. Oh yeah. Totally. And it was made for you. It didn't get you on the floor. At places. Totally. And usually this stuff, yeah, I wear a lot of my old grandma stuff and it's nice and chunky big. It's like big chunky cardigans. People were like, where'd you get that? I'm like like from the 50s. Yeah. Yeah. But I ain't doing sexy stuff in that. No. No. It's like I'm picturing this top as like a crop top or like a leather shirt. I thought it was like a t-shirt for some. I was just truly picturing normal t-shirt. He just liked her in it. Yeah. And that's sweet. Yeah. And she goes, "Ha ha, this is your mom's." Ha ha. Yeah. He didn't know. He didn't know. He didn't know. Kids around. Jesus. But the kids around is crazy. It's a lot. It's a whole lot. Like let him compliment you honey. Yeah. Like one. Hey, never compliment her again. Yeah. Never say any nice thing ever again, pal. That's the lesson. Moving on. You know the. Okay. Okay. The last thing. The craziest prank back. We buying something for his dad to nice something for his dad to wear for his mom. Whoa. Wait, I was just like, "You guys can find a story." Okay. Okay. So my brother and his girlfriend, they both got, they got my dad and her dad the same shirt. Oh, hell yeah. And for Thanksgiving this year, we're all meeting up and my brother looks at my dad and he goes, "Hey, it would mean a lot if you wore the shirt, Liza got you." And then he texts the blaza and was like, "Have your dad wear the shirt." They walk in and they're like, "Hey, it's for both of you wearing the same shirt." I love that TikTok trend. That's really good. That's awesome. That's really funny. That's really good. Damn. Clever. All right. I loved it. I loved it. Nice. Very cool. Next story. It is time for our final story. He believe it's been so long. Yeah. Can't believe it. Our last story comes from the relationships subreddit. It was posted in 2015. Weird years. It's a 21-year-old woman. My boyfriend, who's 21, of seven months just threw me out of his apartment because I sent him a poop sticker on Facebook. Is he being immature or am I? Remember the days of Facebook? Crazy. A poop sticker? A poop? Oh, yeah. You have a poke and then you could send stickers in the messenger? Yeah. Or can you send stickers on the wall? I don't know. There's a little wall. I'm embarrassed by how childish and petty this sounds, especially compared to the other stuff on this subreddit. However, this is my first relationship and I honestly don't know what to think about what just happened. First of all, my boyfriend, Greg and I, have pretty immature senses of humor and always have. We like to tease each other a lot and commonly partake in body humor. Like, we'll joke around if one of us farted or after a night out at dinner. We'll drive home and pretend to be in labor and call dibs on the bathroom to deliver our food babies, aka poop. It's the worst thing I've ever heard in my life. It sounds so challenging to type it out, but we have a lot of fun and are very comfortable with each other. Also, we have never had a fight before and communicate openly about things, but have never had a real problem to communicate about. Tonight, I was at his place to marathon Netflix. Greg got up to go to the bathroom and I asked him if I should pause at aka would he be taking a long time? He answered no so I figured he was just going to go pee. However, 15 minutes later, he still wasn't back from the bathroom. No problem, I got up to make myself a snack. On the way to the kitchen, I walked past the bathroom and heard the sounds of an app that Greg and I commonly play on our phones. I thought this was pretty funny. On Facebook, there are sticker sets to use in the chat feature which are basically like unique emojis. One of the sets features an anime looking poop character and his toilet paper friend. No idea why someone made this, but I think it's funny and kind of cute. One of the stickers is of the poop character sitting on a toilet looking intently at his phone, so I playfully sent this to Greg. Me, poop sticker of playing on a phone. Me with an arrow pointing to the poop sticker. You right now faced with a tongue out. Him. Wow. I laughed to myself, put my phone away, made my snack and went back to the living room. Greg came out and we continued to watch Netflix. However, I noticed he was being physically distant, not putting his arm around me, not sitting close to me on the couch. However, I gave him his space. He was quiet for about 20 minutes, then said, "Do you have a friend that you could get to take you home?" I literally did not know what he was talking about. I said, "What?" And he repeated what he'd said. I asked him what was wrong, but he wouldn't answer for a while. I asked him if he was upset with me and he said, "I just can't believe you did that." That was just really upsetting. I said, "What are you talking about?" You mean the sticker? Him, obviously. I was stunned. I had no idea why he was so offended or what exactly I had done wrong, but I immediately apologized. I said, "I am so sorry that I offended you. I had no idea." That was not my intent at all. I was just joking. Could you just tell me what upset you so I don't do it again in the future? He said there was something wrong with me and that I had the mentality of a fucking child. I was really hurt by this and asked if he seriously wanted me to leave. He said, "Yes." And I asked if he was going to drive me home. I had ridden with him and didn't have my car. He said, "No, because why would he after what I just did?" I was so pissed off that I stormed out of the house. Keep in mind that this was 11 p.m. in a crappy part of town. None of the buses were running and I felt too ashamed to call my friends. So I walked all the way home. Nothing happened, but I'm so mad he would force me to walk home by myself in a shady area just because of this. And he showed no concern for me whatsoever. So now I'm I'm sitting here fuming. I'm actually considering ending things over his huge overreaction. because he refuses to talk to me and explain what's going on. He keeps saying, "You should know." Then he said, "Whatever, I'm going to bed and cut me off." Reddit, "What is going on? Can anyone shed light on this? Is this even worth trying to salvage?" I find his rage at this and refusal to communicate very immature to the point where I almost don't want to be in a relationship with him anymore. Like, if he'll send me out in the cold for this, is he going to leave me on the side of the road next time we disagree on something? I'm so confused. He has never reacted like this or gotten mad at anything before. I just don't think I did anything really bad. However, this is my first relationship. So if I'm in the wrong, let me know. Thanks. What in the world? What the. Does he think she called him a piece of shit? This is you, dude. You're a huge piece of shit, who's on his phone. I like that she's opened the story with being like, "We do potty humor." Yes, giving us context. Yeah. Even without potty humor, this reaction is absolutely absurd. Also, such a vintage story about the stickers and the ubers. It's like, "Whoa!" Also, girl, your life is worth being embarrassed to call your friends, okay? Yeah. Call your friends, be safe. I'm surprised you don't call your friends. You're like, clearly confused. I hope you have good friends that you feel like you can talk to. Yeah. Because this is so scary. When someone flips out on a dime like that, and the way he spoke to her. Yeah, that's concerning. It's like, who is this guy? I wonder if he was having a little bit of a moment and was very embarrassed. Why? Because Toltery wouldn't be in there that long, and then he just was really. You know, sometimes you'll see people that are not a little bit emotionally sunted, and then when they get embarrassed, it's like zero to a hundred. Sure. This feels a little bit like that. I see that. A small little thing happened and he went, like, really hardcore. What if he was joking it? Ooh. But then she's wrong. Her sticker makes no sense. And then he's like, "How dare you?" Yeah. How dare you? I'm not taking a shit. I'm joking. I'm not poop. I'm not poop. I'm ham. What? I'm not poop. I'm bone. I'm bone. [laughter] All right. I'm not poop. I'm bone. Whoa! Let's read some comments here. Do you think there were maybe some other issues, and he immediately just pinned it on the first thing he could blame it on, the poop sticker? Sounds like an asshole for making you walk home so late. Oh, he said, "I've been wondering this myself if this is really because of some other underlying issue. But for the life of me, I 100% can't think of anything that would be bothering him. He's acted totally normal, and we've had a great last couple of weeks. Lots of fun dates went partying with friends, et cetera. This is totally out of the blue for me, and I just want to know if he's really upset about something else. But he just won't talk to me." Someone said, "I'm not sure what the fuck his deal is, but when he finally tells you what, you already know, please come back and tell me. Also, everyone shits. I sing songs about my boyfriend shitting while he shits, and at other inappropriate times of the day, dude needs a serious attitude adjustment." Oh, he said, "Yeah, I do this too. We both joke about pooping and stinking up the bathroom, so don't go in there." So I don't know what his problem is. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks he's overreacting. I'll update if I ever get an explanation for his behavior. Thanks." Sounds like he was looking for a way out, sorry. Oh, comes out of nowhere. Like the text like, "Wow." The text wow back, being like, "Okay, what does that even mean?" And then needing to immediately remove her. I know. This place. So that's just being like, "Hey, I'm kind of shutting down right now. Do you mind if tomorrow we reset?" Like just something. Just a little bit of a something. Something. We did read another story one time where like a small little thing like this happened. And the guy like, "God in his car." No, the duck. Yeah, oh, Mr.-- A finger duck. Lotion man. This is like lotion man. Why did I think duck? Duck. Lotion man. Maybe because I heard the duck in that episode. Remember I thought we heard it. Oh yeah. But yeah, this lady was like, "Lotion man." And he was like, "We're done." He was, "We're done." He got in his car and he left. And it was really bad. Because they clearly are holding on to a bunch of stuff. And then they just go. Update. Okay. Let's go, let's go, let's go. Get the bell out. After taking today to think about it and talking it over with my best friend, I decided to follow my instinct and the advice of everyone here and break up with Greg. He didn't contact me at all since he abruptly cut me off last night. And after he posted a picture of having a grand old brunch with his buddies on Facebook, I decided enough was enough. He didn't seem to have any remorse and it really stung to see how few shits he gave about me. Yeah. Unintended. I messaged him, "You're a shitty person. We're over. Don't contact me again." And blocked him on Facebook. Sorry, I wasn't brave enough to use the brilliant response. Some people suggested the dump and turd puns were great, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I was too mad. After I changed my relationship status and deleted our couple picks, I got several calls from Greg. I debated just blocking his number as well, but my curiosity got the best of me so I picked up. I was met with dead silence. He was really pissed at me. I said, "Hello." In an impatient way, and he said, "This is really how you're going to do this?" We had an argument where we were basically just shouting and blaming each other, with me mostly defending my decision to break up with him, saying I was a bitch for throwing away a good relationship on a whim. I pointed out that I'd been willing to work it out with him and try to fix whatever it was that I'd done wrong, but it was his unwillingness that made me think it wasn't worth it. After about 40 minutes of arguing, Greg started to realize that I was really serious and this wasn't just a tactic to get his attention, and he started getting genuinely upset. He said, "Please don't break up. We are so good together." Which was actually hard for me to hear because up until this point, we have had a really great relationship, so I started to feel really bad. However, I kept thinking about how I'd never trust him with my safety again, and how galling it was that he hadn't been concerned about me or my well-being until he noticed we were now broken up. Also, how surprised I'd been by his anger and name calling. I'd never seen that side of him before and no longer trusted who I thought he was. So I tried to stand firm. Long story short, we talked/ argued for a while longer, Greg thought that talking about the problem would be enough to get me to stay with him, so he confessed. And it was really stupid, in my opinion. Basically, about a week ago, I hung out with Greg and his buddies. We are both gamers, and they were having a game night and asked me to come along. The attitude of that whole group is to trash talk each other and playfully rip each other, especially while gaming. So that night, when we were playing games, I joined in on the trash talk. None of it was mean-spirited. To me, it was just take some of that, eat shit, type stuff, but apparently Greg felt embarrassed because I beat him a few times in front of his friends and gloated about it. This was my bad, but everybody was making a huge show of gloating and peacocking after every victory, so I thought this wasn't out of the ordinary if I also did it. I thought it was just part of the fun, but in hindsight, it was probably weird and I probably should have acted differently. Also, they kept making comments like, wow, you're basically dating a dude. And you know your girlfriend is basically just like a girl version of "Name of Dude" in their group to Greg, because they were surprised that I was willing to have frank discussions about certain topics, like poop, sex, etc. I got the vibe they didn't spend that much time around girls because they were acting so surprised every time something like that came up. Whoa, she said something! I knew it was going to be something that his friends or something swayed his opinion on how they normally act around poop. Whoa, I can't believe you beat me in video games. I guess I just don't hang up with about many girls. It was like that mentality of, whoa, girls don't fart or acknowledge farting. This is weird. I brushed it off, but I guess afterwards, Greg's friends kept teasing him about that night and made some assertions that I was too manly and that I didn't or wouldn't respect him. Is that was manly or the hell? His friends sound like a great bucket time. Yeah, and remember, it's 2015 in this story. Oh, you're so right. But remember, these men have not learned. And also, because I'd been beating him/p-talking about it, I'm not entirely clear, but he made it clear that a lot of the mocking was going on. So I guess this has been festering inside Greg ever since then and making him insecure. The poop sticker thing sent him overboard because he thought I was making fun of him because I didn't respect him. He interpreted it as me calling him a fat pile of shit and thinking I couldn't get away with that. His words. It's still not entirely clear to me. He didn't do a great job of explaining it and was very frustrated that he had to articulate his feelings. I wasn't impressed. I will probably get flack for this, but I didn't feel very much empathy about his problem and thought it was kind of ridiculous and stupid. If Greg had brought this up to me at any point, we could have had a discussion about it and I would have toned it down, though I disagree that my behavior being manly was somehow something for him to get insecure about. Unattractive, okay, I could see it, but it seemed like it was being turned into an emasculation thing by his friends, and it's hard for me to wrap my head around that. It feels almost red-pilly, but I don't know enough about it to really say that. I don't really know how I feel. Anyway, I personally didn't think it was something for him to have such a strong reaction about, and it was a problem that could have easily been talked over if it had bothered him so much. I still didn't think it was anything worth kicking me out and ignoring me for or name calling. Nothing is worth that in my opinion, but again, this is my first relationship. I'm probably just being selfish and pissed off. Regardless, it's over now. I told Greg he needed to grow up, but it wasn't going to be with me. His reaction was extremely immature and irrational. He acknowledged that, but was still angry at me for one, insulting him with the sticker and not showing him respect. Even though we always tease each other, I guess this goes back to the trash talking, and two, for wanting to break up. He said, "Give it a few days and think about it." I didn't want to date him anymore. He said his friends were right and I was actually a cunt who didn't care about him or respect him. I hung up. He's been calling me some more, but I'm going to go see inside out with my friends and feel some feels and not worry about him again. - 2015. - It's 2015. I guess we both did some things wrong and we both need to do some maturing, but for now I don't feel too bad. I'm still pretty pissed off, but surprisingly not that sad for my first breakup. Maybe it will hit tomorrow or maybe I'll find a debonair professional type at the movies who will teach me how to have an adult relationship and let me send him poop stickers. Anyway, thanks for the support, Reddit. I feel better. - Great. Oh my goodness, update she ran. - Update she ran? - Yeah, well that was very 2015. I can't believe the term red pill was arrived. - I know, I remember that too. - Yeah, I mean I know it's a matrix term, but still. - That's why it pissed her off that he went to the grand old brunch the next day 'cause it was a bunch of guys who don't hang out with girls. Who think it's manly if a girl talks about poop? - And they're at brunch, the most feminine amazing thing. - I know, shocking. - No, that's cool. - I'm so glad she got out. - In fact she's there being like, "Hey, we both did things wrong." It's like, "I'm not really so much on your hands." - Charlie really did nothing wrong. No, it's the emotions are not packed. Like everybody in this friend group was shit talking each other and playing and winning why should she not be allowed to do that? - Yeah. - It's pure insecurity. - Yeah. - Or just bad friends. Like it's like he was fine with it until they got in his ear and they were like, "Oh no, your girl's kind of like a man." - Yeah. - Jesus. - What a limiting belief to only hang out with one type of person. And then people who differ from you are a threat to you. - Yeah. - They're like, "Dude, if your girl farted, run, dude." - Run like far away. - They're not supposed to do that. - They're not automatically built. They're supposed to just make us milk for protein. - They're supposed to make me out, she's supposed to. - Yeah, they're just saying for milk, dude. - Dude, that's literally it, that's literally it. - Yeah, don't even, she talked to, she played video games. - You're kidding. - Her hands aren't supposed to anatomically work that way. - But was she just like bleeding out milk? (laughing) - What happened to her milk jug? (laughing) - Oh, Jesus. Well, that's all of her stories today. - Thank you so much. She did a great job reading them. - Thank you. - You did a great job reacting to them. - I know we have a lot of couples who listen to our show together. So hopefully this strengthened some relationships and if it broke some, I'm sorry. - I'm sorry. - But they hopefully for the best. - Updates you ran. - Updates you ran. - Well anyways, I hope you all enjoyed this, no matter how you're spending your Valentine's Day. And yeah, we'll see you next time. - Yeah, and if you're doing Valentine's Day and it's just you, I hope you're tweeting yourself and having a lovely day, I love you. - Yeah, buy some chocolates either for yourself or for someone else who cares. Or if you don't like chocolate, I don't know. - Get some milk. - Some else, yeah. - It's a milk or something when I'm plushy. There you go. - Yeah, there you go. - There you go. - Love you. - Love you. - Love you guys. - Bye. - Bye.