Update from New York! Ellie's Vulva Photoshoot

If I can change anything about my body, I'll have wings because I can fly to Mac Donalds. I would change my legs into a mermaid tail so I can swim like a mermaid. I would change my legs like my thighs make them bit slimmer. I thought Lebia were like fingernails, like you could just, they had no sensation. So I tried to cut them off with kitchen scissors when I was 12. At what age do we start wishing for magical things for our body and start wishing to change body parts that function perfectly well to fit society's idea of beauty? We all look completely different and we shouldn't feel shame because media or society has given us this idea of what we should look like. What started off as a vulva gallery has turned into a global movement helping people open up communication with sexual health and sexual education. I don't want to change anything. I'm Ellie Sedwick and welcome to Comfortable in My Skin. New York! Concrete jungle where dreams are made of. I am pulling in reporting from the Big Apple, the big city of New York, baby. And my guest for today who's also going to be interviewing me though, is Lindsay Bennett. Hi! And Lindsay here, who I have. We just wanted to give an update on what's been happening in New York. A little bit of a book update, just a live check-in. There's been so many beautiful synchronicities happening in my life right now. I know that that is a sign that I am on the right path and well, I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. So we wanted to share the story of how Lindsay's suddenly come into Comfortable in My Skin. So I'm just sort of taking over. I keep being like, "Our book! Our project! Our Comfortable in My Skin!" And you've only been part of the team for a month? A month. I was there when it all started though. So maybe we can say I was here the whole seven years just in spirit. In spirit, yes. So Lindsay and I actually lived together when this whole journey began. And everybody knows that my bus is called the Pussy Palace. But what people maybe don't know is that the house we lived in in Manley, Northern Beaches, Sydney, Australia, was the OG Pussy Palace. It was. And yes, that's when I started shooting. Yeah, it was funny. I moved in. We had a mutual friend that brought me into the house, honey, eastward. And I was actually originally subletting your room without you. And then we all moved in together. And I moved in with this wild woman, Ellie. She's calm down a lot, I will say. But she was in her party girl wild era at that time. And one day she was like, I'm doing this coffee table book of Volvo's and I'm going to be shooting 500 women's Volvo's. And I remember saying to my friends, I'm living with this woman. And then we have photos of Volvo's on the wall and it's wild. And you know, it was pretty outrageous for me back then. I was a bit of a prude, I will admit. And it really opened my eyes seven years ago to the diversity of female bodies. It's something I've always struggled with and just seeing some of the original images. Mainly of women's bodies, their thighs, their bellies, things like that. Really helped me and kicked off a little bit of my own journey for sure. But there were so many hilarious moments, as you can imagine, living with Ellie over the years. One of my favorite ones is when I started dating my now husband and we'd gone to the beach. And Ellie said we could come back by 2pm. She would be done with one of her photo shoots. And we walked in the door and there was just a bunch of women running around the apartment naked, legs spread open on the table. You were using McDonald's as props and my adorable husband being a little awkward. I was like, how's it going ladies? And started having a full conversation with them while they were nude. And I was telling him to go to the bedroom and give them their space. But yeah, it's just so wild to think I was there from the conception. And now I've been here for the finale of the ball. Yeah. And one thing about Jake is he's like this gorgeous, gentle, beautiful, socially, really good socially, but sweet as guy. And I remember like he would just be sitting down like at the dinner table eating. And I would come up with like all my photos and be like, okay, Jake, like what do you think of this? Like how do I do this? And I'd ask him so many questions. And then he would just like engage in the conversation, but he was so it was so new to him. And I just go, I always go on and on and on and on about things to do with comfortable with my skin. Because I'm so passionate. But he just would sit there and listen and listen and be like, wow, Ellie, right. That's awesome. I'll never forget. I was I'd gone to bed and he was doing university work next to you at the table. And I heard you go, look at this one. This is discharge. And he was like, oh, great being so polite. And isn't that the beauty of it? You know, it's the beauty of your work. Just giving him that exposure. And I'd love to know his perspective on all these is like, I'll have to ask him. But he probably would have never seen, you know, as many well, hopefully not as many up and close as personal as he did through your work. Yes. Yes. I feel that's like my little brother, you know, they just get like a Lana. His partner, who says to me, like, I'm so lucky to be dating your brother because he knows everything. So then seven years later, you called me. Yeah, I called you. So I've been on a bit of my own healing journey this year. And I had worked with a healer and through that healer, I had come up that I had quite a big block around my sexuality and was really struggling with embodiment. So being not connected to my body and therefore not connected to any of my desires. So sexually, but also around food, not understanding signs of desire or hunger, things like that. And a lot of that stems from shame that I had from a young age. And that shame eventually manifested in an eating disorder in my later teens. And because of that, because of shame, I experienced around sex in my teens, it led to this big disconnect in my life. And yeah, through this healing experience, I didn't realize I had an issue around sexuality. I knew that I had food issues and body image issues. And I've dealt with my eating disorder and body dysmorphia. And just of my life, it's come and gone. I would say it's been back a little bit in the last year. But I had no idea about this sort of sexual block that I was experiencing. And it really bubbled up through this work I was doing. And I was thinking about people in my life that I could speak to about it. Because as you know, it's such a hard topic to discuss with just the average, you know, the average dough on the street. And I was like, I know exactly how to call that. It's my old friend Ellie. So I called Ellie. And as per usual, she's just the absolute best. And you just knew exactly what to say and advice and, you know, recommending, you're only mapping. And just giving me someone to talk to about something that's so personal and a little embarrassing in some ways. And I don't really know how we started talking about it. But you. Yeah. Well, Lindsay, for those who are listening that don't know her, you're very in your masculine, you're the best in your field in. I work for an advertising agency in New York. She's climbed the corporate ladder and you're very successful. So I think Ellie doesn't know what I actually do. But she knows they used to be a journalist. I sort of know how to work in PR. She doesn't quite know how to describe it. You know how you just think all your friends work in offices and you're like, I have no idea when I'm close. You put on makeup, you go to work. And that's all I know. And I like using the term she's the best in her field. She's a big dog on LinkedIn. So that's all that I know. I've sent you a glass wand, a mirror, and I said, I want you to deep dive into this world of connecting with your body and listen to every single podcast episode I've ever brought out, which you did in about two or three days. Yeah. And I looked at the podcast and was like, Ellie, there's so many typos. Give me your logins for your podcast, which is just hilarious that we're doing your podcast right now. And I started editing the typos and was just so passionate about what you were doing and wanting to help as well. And then through realizing how many typos though on the podcast, I think that's how I ended up asking you who's editing the book. Yes. And then in classic me style, I was like, I have no idea. I said, doesn't it go to print in a few weeks? And I was like, yes. So Lindsay offered to do it. And it's a very much so yeah, it's been incredible. I wake up every single day with a to do list. And I have to take everything off. And it's so long. But it's just a beautiful synchronicity of how like right this is that we've just fallen into each other's lives at the perfect. time like my mum gets quite emotional because I went and helped my sister when she was at rock bottom a few months ago and went and lived with her for three months and I after three months have been there was like Nikki this book is supposed to be coming out in December I haven't worked once on the book I have to go and work on the book and you know I don't think I would have been able to time manage and get this book out by Christmas if you hadn't have come in and kicked me out the butt with your corporate ways so it's just a beautiful thing to explain to you guys that yeah when life is like everything happens for a reason and I truly believe you are supposed to be exactly where you are in that moment yeah you did a good deed I did a good deed and that did and this is your reward yeah you are my reward so tell me about how you ended up coming to New York so everybody that has been following this journey knows how much I've struggled with getting diversity so I often do call out some social media but after seven years of asking for cultural diversity to come forward and no one coming forward I sort of realized I was talking to an audience where there wasn't diversity so I needed to find it somewhere else I realized that I needed to complete leave go somewhere else so I tried Melbourne I'd gone on the national tour all the whole way around Australia and no one seemed to be able to help me I can't explain how many people I asked so when you were here in New York you've been here working for three years I just decided well I asked you about the diversity over here and you said I it's just an incredibly diverse place and I think Australia we lack some of that diversity and it's also a very sexually open place and the conversation around you know sex and race and you know things that are typically taboo like sex parties and squirting and all the things that you've been invited to for parties this week and there's just a more open environment so I did think you were going to have more luck here recruiting additional women for the book yeah so I came over I pretty much slid into every black woman's DMs in the whole of New York and through beautiful connections with a few people they messaged all their friends and so many of the interactions I've had from the second I got off the plane in Dallas I sat at the bar with a black woman who was the best person to be my first experience with I showed her the whole book on my computer and she just was saying to me you're going to change the world like the world needs your voice and I soon as I left that conversation Lindsay I called you and said wow I've already had some really empowering conversations with people and you explained to me something about America how everybody is really supportive compared to the tall poppy syndrome of Australia so can you explain that a little bit yeah I think here from a young age everyone is taught that they can do anything right you're in the epicenter you're you're in the you know biggest economy in the world the biggest country in the world and there's a lot of power that America has and therefore in schools kids are taught that they can do anything and it's such a big population as well whereas I think because we are a small country in Australia we have this tall poppy syndrome where we like to cut each other down and I'm not sure we have the same sort of you know you you can do it mentality and the same confidence I don't think is instilled from us I'm not sure what it is I mean there's a lot of patriotism in this country I don't think is Australia where particularly patriotic either you know we love Australia but we don't have that same belief that we can do whatever we want because we're not taught it from such young ages they are here yes that's something I've really noticed the people that I've crossed paths that have been like and this is amazing you know yeah they're they're really really strongly like you are changing the world do not stop do this grow go girl and that's been very cool and obviously the reason I came over here was for diversity but I remember speaking to my printer and I was not upset because selling 400 books is incredible but in pre-order I remember saying to him holy shit like we need to sell 800 because I'm printing in Australia and it's expensive and I'm self-publishing so I'm self-funding the printing and I was like I'm a bit scared that we're actually not going to get enough and I've completely gone out on a whim here and been like you know I think I had that tax bill before so I had like not no money in my account before I went from pre-order and I've needed to get a huge amount of money so I did call him being like I'm a little bit concerned and he said to me you need to tap into the American market because the market's a lot bigger over there I forgot about it came over here and it has just been door open after door open I've gone to this museum of sex saw the Andy Warhol coffee table book there it's the only coffee table book in there and it's a book full of male drawings like drawings of males naked which is beautiful I love that but I visioned my book next to it so I emailed them they're like yes like they haven't completely confirmed but they're like this is so a great idea emailed there's blah blah blah the whole stuff like we can vision it here then I've been to the most amazing bookshop in New York and the owner happened to be in there when I walked in I just think again the universe is like opening doors and being like yes we had the best conversations because he has been in the book industry for 20 years I still the book goes to printed two weeks I still don't have a cover and he just fed me all his knowledge on like what should be on the cover what shouldn't from like a graphic point point of view of like a bookstore or a point of view of what he thinks would sell will be appropriate and he's like look it's a lot of nudity inside the book it's a lot of like shock like the cover needs to be something he's like we have kids come in here you know we would love to stock your book but it can't be anything that's too graphic and he went so deep into like printing paper and I've just been like this little girl walking around New York City going into little book shops and I had so many good moments with that conversation with that man where my face was bright red because I'd ask him a question and I I have that thing where I blush everyone knows that but like for like 10 minutes I just had this red face and he was like it's so cute how excited you are you know like it's felt I felt like really little in a big city and like my little girl dreams are coming true and I just kept now thinking back to the printer being like oh my god everything has led me here to America because yeah the market is so much bigger over here and I mean I've heard things in the past like Hillary Holmes who has home beauty she's moving to America for the brand to grow because she's like yes and I've sort of like catch these things at the back of my mind but I never thought I would have to come to America to like take over the world you know I'm really comfortable with my skin but also I should have laid the other day who works in the Italy media for example and she's like I'm going to get you in the media in Italy and you know I can just I can just see it now growing to this global movement and it's happened so organically and naturally which sort of most of my work in the past has like people always ask me what's your tricks for growing Instagram and I'm like there's no tips and tricks it's so organic and I feel that's happening with the book now it's like it's just so it just shows how like needed and wanted and and right it is that I'm doing this so that's why I came to New York City was for diversity but it's ended up being I think a whole lot more than that and then obviously being with you every day and everyone also knows I've got crazy ADHD and I can't sit still and it's I often have to people pay people to sit next to me just while I work to tell me to stay there yeah I've got you on a tight schedule something else really big happened for you in New York though do you want to talk about finally getting photographed yourself yes I've only like just okay and I'm like don't make me cry again for the 20 thousandth time in New York so this has been hard for me because I'm supposed to be like the face of comfortable in my skin and I'm like the vulva queen people call me that vagina girl you know I'm supposed to be this iconic confident woman and during shoots in the past people have said to me like get naked with us and I my whole body is like no no no no no don't ask me I held a retreat at my mum and dad's house and they were supposed to be doing naked yoga and I had said to the chef like I sat her down and I was like make sure you tell everybody at the retreat that you need me to help you cook because I don't want to go out there and be naked in front of everyone and she was like bro I got you but that is really sad like are you okay and and I'm like I don't want to talk about it it's just I don't want to be naked in front of anyone and it's sort of all these moments at retreats and workshops and everything I feel like I want to join in but I feel there's this new narrative now that people are like well you should be a certain way because of the seven years of work you've done but I'm just not and And I've, I mean, I wanted you to shoot me Lindsay. I wanted Hannah, the graphic designer doing the book to shoot me. And every time I've sort of like gone to do an all-planet, I completely have a panic attack. And I just can't take my pants off and get to that stage where I'm like, so, but you did it. I did it. I did it. I went out to lunch with Ellie McGor, who is the best in her field of, she's a creative director. She's also one of our great friends back from back in the day, to which she's always been our most stylish friend by far. So she wasn't as far in her career as she is now. Like she just shot, I'm created Pamela Anderson's look like a few weeks ago, that's where she's at. But seven years ago, I said to her, look, I'm starting this book. Can you help me? Can you teach me how to like stand a model, put a model? I actually shot her in her backyard in Narabin. And I was like, just show me how to shoot really. And coincidentally, we went out to lunch in New York and we're sitting in the park with our legs crossed, like holding each other's like knees. And she just said, are you in the book? Which everybody does at the moment. Everybody asks me, like, you're in there, right? And I honestly cry inside every time because I'm like, not yet, you know? And Ellie's like, just looking me deeply in the art. She's like, why are you not in the book? And I, again, just started crying. And I was like, I'm not ready. And she's like, Elle is going to print in like three weeks. You got to get in the book. And she was, she held space for me in such a beautiful way. She's like, what do you need? Like, what part of the, is it the shoot? Is it the thought of being identifiable? And I just from start to finish, explained everything to her. And she's like, I'm going to shoot you. And she did and it happened. So, and I couldn't have asked for it to happen in a better way. Like you were there, Lindsay just also holding space for me. There was another girl, Ash, who's just a big old vibe. She's like this beautiful black woman with a big afro. And she holds naked dinner party. So she was bringing like the laws. And you two were bringing the safety. And, you know, reminding me, we did the vulva meditation that I've started every single photo shoot with. And we did it all together. And then, yeah, it just got shot. And it was such a beautiful, sacred, special moment with, yeah, you and Ellie that were there from the very beginning. And then it feels perfect that you were both on the journey from the beginning and then now at the air at the very end. Yeah. And just holding space for me. And maybe it actually really vulnerable being like, look, this actually is huge for me. And I can say that, like I'm not exactly okay, but I'm on my journey still. And I think for those listening at home, like I don't ever want to stop shooting even after this book comes out. And if one day you think that you want to come to a vulva shoot, but you are scared, like just know that I was too. You were so scared. Yeah, it was a really emotional moment. And I think for you, El, it's like almost become a little bit of a phobia because you were always behind the camera. And then it built and built and built over seven years. So actually, I think compared to the average person, you probably had more fear, which it is really crazy. But I can see that how it's built over the years for you and seeing you have a little bit of a breakdown. But also relax into it was so beautiful. And I was so honored. I didn't know that you were in the book until recently. Everyone just assumes that you would be the most open person. Yeah. But it's actually really interesting. And adds another layer to the book that you are still on your journey. And what was also really amazing was how we were able to use the book in your photo shoot. So when Ellie shot, when, yeah, Ellie shot, Ellie, we were able to then show her compared to the other photos in the book that she was completely normal. She is completely normal and that her vulva looks like so many others in the book because we had a printed draft. So we were actually able to see it in real time being used out in the world for the first time on yourself. Ellie's crying. For those that can't see. I'd never thought of that until that exact moment. But how did I feel looking at your own book and using it as a. OK, so. Harrison. This part that I was pointing out on my body was, I'm going to try and explain it. So around the Fajrinal opening, I have this. Like to me, it's just like skin that's so. And it feels. I mean, yeah, I was showing you that being like, "What is this?" Like this is like dangling and like, "It's whatever." And then Lindsay, you were like, "I've seen that all through the book." And then you grabbed the book and you were like, "Look at this, look at this." And I was like, "But what about this labio?" It's like all like an oyster. It's just all wrinkly and wavy and you were like, opening the book, you were like, "Look at this, look at this." And then I. I once had a doctor say to me that they thought I had body dysmorphia with my vulva. And I just brushed it off and I truly was like, "That's fucking not right." Because I. With the rest of my body, body dysmorphia is not something at all. But also, I think the universe has brought us together because Lindsay, I know that's body dysmorphia is something that you've quite heavily struggled with. And you sat down with me and you said to me, like I actually think you could have body dysmorphia and I explained to you that a doctor had said that to me before. And I. It felt really real in that moment because you were like, "If you saw your vulva amongst all of these, would you point it out?" And I was like, "No." Yeah. Using the example of myself, I can show how crazy it is what our minds are able to make us see and we definitely need to sink with a body dysmorphia expert in the next podcast because I know a lot of women's struggle with it and it really does warp your perception of what you're seeing in the mirror. So yeah, it's something we both struggle with. It's something we both confronted through the photo shoots because I also had my own photo shoot and was able to look at my body and be like, "I would never think that that woman is overweight or big." So yeah, it is a crazy healing experience, your photo shoots, which obviously you've had so many women tell you. Yeah. But we were able to experience it firsthand. Yeah, and I was. I sort of thought I would. No matter who shot me, I would never be able to quite give them the experience that I give other people, but I do feel like I got that. And I. It was very unexpected and just. It was so emotional and moving and I was so held. And I went on the full journey and we all did. Yeah. It was perfect. Yeah. So, Elle, that was the first shoot. Do you want to talk about the second time that we decided to photograph you? Yeah. So during the first shoot, when I was standing up, that's always been the really hard part for me. It's like standing naked in front of a partner and letting them fully see me and standing naked in front of Ellie and you. I. You girls sincerely looked at me and you were like, "I don't want to devalue." You know, your past experience had been self-conscious, but there is nothing. You do have a beautiful vulva. And I kept saying things like, "Oh, it's my bush." Like, it's my bush that covers the labia. And that's why I love having the bush because you can't see all of it. Then you both listened and were like, "Okay, and then I lay down and Lindsay, that's when you stepped in more and you had the camera." And I mean, I can still vision your eyes so clearly. They were almost like glassy. And you were looking very deep into my soul. And you quietly whispered again. Like, again, said the same thing. Ellie said, "I don't want to take away your experience of having like really nasty comments said to you throughout high school." And that, you know, but you said, "I've seen the book and I've had a look through all of them." And I think that yours is just like so many others in the book. And again, I said to you, "It's my bush. You can't see through the bush." But if you could, you'd understand what I was talking about. So we sort of came home. We're staying together at the moment. And we discussed, well, you know, maybe to like completely break through these insecurities I needed to shave. And the "save the bush." "Save the bush." And I sort of said, "You'll understand once I show you underneath the hair." So I did. I did this huge shave, a parking hack. I got a chainsaw, I had it. Took a while, clogged some drains. And yeah, I shaved my vulva and you and me reshot me in your bed. dream. And I stood up and I showed you and again you were like, "El, I want to go get this book and show you. Your vulva is a vulva and your labia is your labia. It's beautiful and then I laid down and I sort of grabbed the camera from you, was zooming in and then ran straight away and put it on the computer and I spent probably two to three days with it up on my screen on my computer. The book next to it and I looked back and forth and back and forth. I looked at my vulva and I went through all the pages and I looked at my vulva, went through all the pages and I found a vulva who belongs to one of my very best friends who I shot at the very beginning and I've always sort of thought, "I wish I had a vulva like hers" and I don't know how to explain this and I can't work out the science behind it or anything but I opened up on her page and I had my vulva and I screen shot at it and I screen shot at hers. I went to, yeah, and I put them right next to each other and when I tell you they're identical, they are identical and I've just been to be really honest with you. It's been a very confusing experience for me because I feel firstly like deeply sad that I couldn't see this until now, until seven years later and I feel I have wasted so many beautiful sexual experiences. I've wasted so many moments where I could have stood naked with a sexual partner and let them in on such a deeper level and I've wasted so much pleasure that I could have had if I wasn't so stuck in my head and just like allowed those beautiful like pleasure gates to open and just dropped into my body and felt more safe instead of remembering these silly remarks that teenage boys said and yeah, I just look, I keep looking at these pictures and being like, holy shit, there is nothing wrong with my vulva and it's, yeah, it's been a really emotional and sort of like awakening and beautiful experience and something that I found so special is that I'm having these moments a week now, two weeks now before the book goes to print and I mean, you mentioned it before but we have quite literally created what I needed and I've used it to get to this point in my own self-love journey with my vulva. So there is proof in the in the work and the beauty, it's so beautiful. It's a real full circle moment and you know, I could easily sit here or anyone could say, you should have just done this shoot, you know, the week you started this project and you would have been healed but what an amazing story actually and adds it up another layer to the story that it took you seven years and now you've been able to use your own finished product on yourself. I just think there's something so beautiful about that and your story is going to be so powerful to women who are struggling because you've been open about your own struggles and despite all the work that you've done over seven years, it's still talked to this very moment to completely heal yourself which just shows other people that any moment they are on their journey, even if they're so stuck, even if they're finding it so hard, they can eventually conquer it. Yes, yes, I hope that my story reaches millions of people out there and it really does feel like a full circle moment. I've moved, I've been confused, I've been like laughing, crying, learning but it's yeah, it's I'm about to fly home and I just feel like, whoa, what an experience New York has been. So glad you came. You came, you saw and you came again actually. So do you want to tell us about your sexual experience the last couple of days and how this experience with your vulva has now changed the last sexual experience that you just had? Yes, well, I mean, it's no secret that in the past I used alcohol to fuel confidence in the bedroom. I do speak a lot that in the past I had so many nonverbal nose that I did having sex. That really, to me, showed that I wasn't in a place where I should be sleeping with someone and I truly believe that being comfortable in your skin is the key to pleasure, like really being able to leave your head and let go and have full body orgasms. That's how you unlock it is by truly being comfortable in your skin. And so since the second photo shoot, I've actually sent my vulva to some friends and I sort of like said, I sent it to the girl whose vulva is really similar and she's, yeah, she's like, I'm so excited for you to get out there and sleep with someone and I was sort of asking you like, oh, who can I send these to because I'm like, I want to see their reaction. And so I decided I'm leaving New York. I want to go out with a bang. Literally. Literally. And so I had been to a squirting masterclass and I just messaged him and I suggested that I come over and we fuck and then I fly. And yeah, I was sort of like when I got there, I mean, there's a podcast that's going to come out this week and it goes much more into the detail, but of like the podcast with him to be clear. Yeah, after they've had sex. So it's going to be one of my favorites. No doubt. No doubt, but it was beautiful because when I got there, I sat down and I sort of explained to him the journey that I had had like this week with being photographed. And he actually started crying. Like we were looking into each other's eyes and I sort of like he was like, I can just see the depth of the hurt that this has caused you and I explained him like the liberation I felt of being photographed. And I said, I really, really want to sleep with someone and I want to show you my vault art and I want to be like, I'm proud of it and it's beautiful. And yeah, I want that experience of being like comfortable my skin in the bedroom. And I really find so much beauty in in just like the rawness and the vulnerability and just being completely open. And I think if you are sleeping with a new sexual partner, even if it's a one night stand, just communicating everything and being like, this is where I'm at right now. And this is like my past experiences. And that's what we did and we went through like all of our so you know, we discuss like our sexual health, anything to communicate that boundaries yes, knows blah blah blah. And I said to him, I'm going to like, I am at a very emotional stage in my life and I'm going to like completely be present here and and we worked upstairs and holy fuck how many orgasms did you have? Well, I was saying Alunzi actually, I've he he was just like you unlocked. He was like, I can't believe I got to witness what you unlocked. It was orgasm, orgasm, cry, like unbelievable amounts of tears like from those one like final orgasm when I was on my knees and my head was down and I was in a arch back like a little bit like do you style that I had the vibrator on my client. And then you know, he was penetrating me from behind and I came and it was the definition of a whole body orgasm. My these roaring tears came from it within and and I you know, not a single thing was in my brain. I really so many noises and it was funny because I actually said to him before just so you know, I'm quite quiet when I have sex with someone. So I don't I hope you don't think not in that instance and I was like, it was basically and I'm like, fuck I I've sobbed and I sobbed and I came and I squirted like I joked really and be like, so about the pool that I left in your bed because it was just like this flood gates were open like through my eyes and through my and through my vagina and he held me so well. He just held my pussy with his hand and he was like, you're so beautiful and he was like hugging me. He was like, just cry baby cry cry cry and I I just soft and I think it was a mix from the photo shoot and then this like release of so many things and like this like I he'd set up this safe space where I could just let go and I mean yeah and I did absolutely did and he's been so beautiful ever since just like wow I can't believe what I got to witness and he was saying you're so responsive like he's a porn star and you know he's like I've slept with a lot of people and the way your body is is so responsive and you're so sensitive to touch and I think that that is because I was so present and I was so allowing an open and I felt so safe and I felt I had no insecurities. I had no insecurities. It's another full circle moment really. It's seven years of being deep into the sexuality space and the work that you do sort of in the sexual health, sexual wellness reclaiming a sexuality or pleasure. All of that work you've done, you are able to really channel into your session with him and he's an expert as well. So it's really two experts coming together and doing what they do best. I mean, yes, anyone listening from Australia, he's the co-founder of Haseyanda, which is a very, very famous, it's the biggest sex club and sex positive community in America. And he's an absolute nerd and he is what he's nerdy now on his sex. He's studied it. So it's funny because I actually didn't know that about him and we later realized I'd fucked like, yeah, I Googled it and I was like, "Elly, this is a big deal." I'm kind of glad we didn't Google him before. Yeah, it took the pressure off and I just was attracted to him. I knew that he was a square coach obviously, but I didn't realize he was like the co-founder of Haseyanda and I didn't quite realize the depth of his courses. They're amazing. I'm actually an affiliate. So yeah, I was like, I want to sell you. I'm like, I really want you to fuck my friends and give them this pleasure and he was like, yeah, it's not just like, it was the two of us in this exact moment that was like a fireworks and yeah, it was a full circle moment because I was smiling and glowing from head to toe for the rest of the day. Just like, I feel, yeah, I feel it's the perfect fuck before the book comes out and another moment of synchronicity really. Really, truly. I said that to him. I'm like, what led us together was like, one of the black girls I photographed over here introduced me to him and yeah, that's pretty wild. I think it's another beautiful moment of synchronicity for sure. Well, I can't wait to listen to your full episode with Kenneth. Yeah, I'm excited. If anyone wants to check out a free tutorial on this squirting technique that Kenneth has used on me, then please head to canethplay.com/ellie and you can learn how to make someone else or yourself have the squirting experience that I did. Let me tell you now, it's joyous and you can learn it. That's the beauty of it really. It's like writing a like, Kenneth says something that we can all learn. So go check it out now. Okay, so last question. The book. A book. Coming out soon. It goes to print October the 1st. That'll be available in November. How many of you sold? How many do you need to sell? Why should people buy it? So it goes for print in two weeks and two days. So I've ended up going with this Australian company. The guy is called Josh and the printing company is called BGS printing. And I just, from the moment we had the conversation, he said he's got three daughters, a wife and you know, he really told me his story how he built this printing company from just him. And he's like, I'm still very hands on, which I love, like a family man who believes in the project that I'm doing. He even went so far as to call the printers that are all the people that are actually going to be like sorting through the pages, making sure there's no incorrect upside down pages or anything. And he was like, I've checked with them to see if any of the staff are like, religious or it might be shocking. And if they can have a day off on the day that your book goes to print and I just loved that. In the words he said, I can't wait for my daughters to see this book. And it would be a really great tool to show them in the future of like what a normal body looks like, you know, with social media these days. It's really, we went deep into that conversation. And I just like, after that call just said, it's going to be you no matter what. I love, I love everything that you've said. So yeah, I chose them and we've sold 660 and we have to sell 800 to get the printing money. So I think we have, yeah, we're very close. We've got two weeks and yeah, I can sort of see it coming all together. Why should people buy the book? Well, I think I mean to me, it's so, it's so obvious. But to someone, you know, we've had a lot of press lately, which is a bit hilarious because Lindsay stayed up to like 2am so many nights trying to make these like media press packages. Hold on, I was about to go to bed and I've already put together a beautiful press plan. And Ellie had posted in a Byron Bay community chat about the need for more diverse models and a potential, a little bit about the book and how it was going to potentially go in schools. Of which obviously kicked off a little bit of controversy, then it got picked up by a local Byron Bay publication that was syndicated through the Daily Telly. And I just say up till 2am trying to formulate our response, working with Ellie to make sure that we use it as an opportunity to share your perspective on having the book in schools. And yes, our favourite comment within the article was critical Facebook user says, "Elise, Miss Sedgwick has lost the plot." Which, you know, we already knew that about you to be honest. But tell me about how you dealt with the controversy but also used as an opportunity to educate. Okay, well, I mean, there was a lot of comments saying like, I was sick like that. I mean, there's some horrific ones saying that, you know, the book's going to be stuck together from teenage boys. Like they sexualised everything all my work. They made me like, they showed their opinion that they thought I was, you know, this creepy person, I don't know. But obviously like I've built thick skin and I'm totally okay with it. And do you know what? They got us a lot of repress attention around the book launch. So in the end, I actually messaged the journalist and said, "Thank you." But it was really a great conversation starter about why my book is so needed. And I think that the comments only re-enhanced that and showed that people still don't understand how serious the rise of labia plastic is. Like, I mean, the government, women's health of Victoria just did a paper on 18 to 24-year-olds and a quarter of them said that they have anxiety about their volvers and the report also found, which we did know already, but that labia plastic is the fastest growing surgery in Australia. Yeah, so that was really interesting and I mean, I have, I have, per my leave for seven years been trying to educate people on this, but it's great when it hits mainstream media because it, it starts the conversation on a bigger scale. So yeah, it was really cool to see what the public thought of it. There's obviously also the people that are like sliding into my DM saying they found me. I mean, I photographed a girl yesterday who flew in from Boston just purely to be shot by me because she saw the article in the Daily Mail. It went fucking global. It was all over America. It was worldwide. So I am grateful for that. That that conversation has been brought up. But yeah, it is really sad to hear what some people feel about the book, but I mean, if you don't, you're not really doing a big change in the world if you don't get some haters, I like total it. You got to have the haters. Any press is good press at this point. Yeah. Look, you know, I think one of the questions I asked you was why should people buy the book? You're a bit biased, but I can share my personal experience with it. So having edited this book, I think what people don't realize is that the book is not just images. It's not just vulva shots as well. It's beautiful, powerful stories from vulva owners that will make you gasp. They will make you laugh out loud. They will make you soar at your desk as I have many times editing these. They touch on herpes. They touch on thrush. They touch on childbirth. They touch on, you know, our insecurities and having read it for the first time end to end. And any of the stories when Ellie was originally working on it, only seen the images. Having read the stories, it completely impacted the way that I experience my body insecurities because I'm like, wow, everyone feels this way. I'm not alone in feeling this. And if we all just spoke about it, then we would all realize we all feel insecurity, shame, Barrett's out. And if we're all feeling like that, then why do we feel that way? It's such a normal experience. So while Ellie can't continue to plug her book, I'll plug it for her because I've described as a meditative experience for me, a therapeutic experience, a healing experience. So yeah, it's the images are beautiful, but I don't think a lot of people realize the depth and the power of the stories. And that's what I'm really excited for people to get to experience in November. It's actually amazing that all the people that have written in are just people I photographed and they obviously come from all different walks of life. And I've heckled them to get their stories, which most of them say was a healing experience to write, but it's pretty impressive some of these stories that are written so beautifully from people that wouldn't call themselves a poet or an author. They're truly moving. I mean, I cry almost every time I go through the book. So yeah, I think it's a beautiful experience having the book and then also just having the book in your house for anyone to come in and find that that maybe wouldn't buy it for themselves. It's a great conversation starter and it's great, I think for kids to just, well, actually, somebody bought their kid to the comfort and their skin meetup. We did a bike ride in New York and I have met this person traveling around Australia and her daughter, she works in the DV sector for the government and is now going into sex education in America and has also worked in sexual assault prevention. And the way she was around her daughter, right, Lindsey, like it is the perfect description of how having these open conversations where your daughter feels safe to come to you is just the best form of sex education. Like we were all sitting there in front of her going through the book and she's 12 and she knew so much about the anatomy. She knew she didn't change our conversation because she was in the room. We spoke about absolutely everything and she knows about how your breast can be different sizes. She was talking about her pubic hair and she said she was talking to all of her friends about the menstrual cycle. And like, I mean, who didn't, if you're listening then you're 30, did you just learn how to track your cycle or have you still not learned? The next generation are so lucky that we actually now are learning all of this stuff ourselves and how beautiful to share that with these kids that get to gift them the education that we weren't given. And it doesn't have to be that hard, it doesn't have to be awkward. I do believe that for schools, there needs to be a professional that comes in and teaches people sex education. Not the PE teacher, the male that is a little bit uncomfortable doesn't even know it himself. Can't even communicate to his partner in the bedroom, which is because of the way we were brought up and that's totally fine. He shouldn't be expected to. We should be having like trained professionals and I would love to chuck on that 2025 poster. Like, write a fucking curriculum for the schools that teaches vulva diversity, like, trucking your menstrual cycle. And all of these topics got bought up in the press and people are like, why should I have the book? Well, because it's a fucking epic resource and education tool that can change their lives and give them this gift that, yeah, we weren't given. - Hmm. Hallelujah. - Hallelujah. (singing) Oh, I don't know you live. But, well, if we hit the USA market, I'll be popping over like a true little business lady that I am, just letting around. And yeah, like, let's fucking take this shit global. Let's do it. I love to sort out my, my bogan accent. (laughing) Let's take this shit global. - Let's do a global baby. And everybody who has already purchased the book, I know that, you know, you guys purchased it what two months before it was gonna be in your hands and that's putting so much trust like, even the app, the platform that I've used to Shopify, they're holding 10% of the money because they're like, this is risky for your clients. So, I just wanna say thank you for those who are putting trust in me that I will get this book on your shelf. I will get this book in your hands. I'm doing it for you. I'm doing it for, you know, anyone who thought that they evolved or wasn't normal. I'm making sure that you know that it is and I just, from the bottom of my heart, I wanna say thank you and I love you and I couldn't do this without you. (laughing) - Oh, crying again. (laughing) - Love you. - So, I now want everyone to repeat after me. I am unique. I am worthy of pleasure. My body is mine. I am comfortable in my skin. And remember that I love you.