77. Understanding Biblical FEMININITY: Breaking Free From Cultural Confusion (Pt 2)

All right guys, welcome back to part two of this powerful and very important series. Today we are diving into the second equation of this conversation, which is biblical femininity. So without further ado, buckle up, especially if you're a woman because I pray that this episode will bless you and help you align more with how God beautifully and perfectly designed you to be. Let's jump in. Hey friend, I'm Nick and I'm Haley and we're here to help you build a fulfilling God-centered relationship that lasts through having real, authentic and truth-filled conversations. We believe that by breaking destructive patterns, understanding our differences and boldly stepping into our unique roles as men and women, couples will be able to thrive as a unified team, producing good fruit and becoming a powerful platform for God's glory that will impact the family unit for generations to come. Whether you're married, dating or single with the desire of being married one day, we're excited to hear how this information blesses your life. This is The Forest Kingdom Podcast. Welcome to the conversation. This is the other half of the coin. So if you listened to last week, you are probably very excited to hear what your role is or what your spouse's role is to complete this beautiful dynamic that God's created. Absolutely. And if you haven't yet listened to last week's episode, definitely go do that. In the beginning of that one, we kind of set the tone for the entire conversation and it was a super powerful one. So definitely start there. If this is your first time joining us, welcome Nick and Haley here. We're honored to be able to pour into your life and to help you thrive in your relationship God's way. Yes, I love it. And also if you have listened to last weeks or after you listened to this one, please let us know. We want to hear from you guys, whether it's via DMs on Instagram @forhiskingdomcoaching or directly wherever you're listening via Spotify or Apple Podcast. We want to hear your biggest takeaways from these episodes. We want to hear what's been standing out to you, what's been helping you, what's been a blessing to you. So definitely leave a review if you have not already. It blesses us and it gets this podcast into the hands of so many other people just like you who it also might bless. So we thank you for that. Thank you for your support guys. And with that said, why don't we dive into this thing babe. Today, I'm going to be allowing you to kind of take the lead as the woman. We're big believers here that men should teach men, women should teach women. And that's how it should be unless you are the husband and you're the spiritual head of your household, then you're also the teacher of your wife. But you're not teaching her how to be a woman. You teach her God's way and you're being the exemplary husband and masculine godly men that we spoke about last week. And that's how you teach. But in this conversation, I'm going to take a little bit of a backseat and ask some questions, share some perspective. But really let the Lord use you so you can flow. Yes, which is a perfect segue. So just like last week's episode, we started out by really breaking down what is last week, last week masculinity. But this week, femininity. So that's what we're going to do. We're going to follow the same kind of structure to this conversation. And talk about what is the feminine essence? What makes femininity, femininity? What, what that word such tongue tongue twistera. And so there's three, we've broken it down into three characteristics or three traits that really make a female a female. And so the first one I'm just going to dive in here is being being an emotional presence. And as if you've listened last week, you're going to notice there's contrast to the masculine and the feminine. So probably start picking up on that. So last week men were doing an action, right? Now females, we are being an emotional presence. So what does this mean? Masculinity is more goal oriented. They have more goal oriented nature. Femininity can feel at ease by simply just being. If you're a woman, have you ever noticed if your man gets a little antsy? Like, what the heck? Like, why am I just sitting here? I feel like I need to be doing something. That's because he's a man. But why do we just relax and enjoy space? Because we're female. And that's how we were wired. So do you want to jump in? Very quickly. I think that is beautiful that you're starting on this note. I think that is that is what healthy femininity looks like, right? Obviously, this doesn't negate the power or responsibility for the man to be able to slow down and be present for his woman. Absolutely. There's time for that, right? Or the woman to step up and do things. Absolutely. So we spoke about that last week, right? But but the focus of the conversation is the power and the beauty of a woman that is restful and she's able to be at peace and just be before she does. And it is just a very beautiful thing. So I'm going to keep my thoughts actually as we until we go a little bit deeper because I do have I think where I can probably help most men, but specifically women listening to this is sharing how we view things from the male side, from the masculine for the man side, how we view the feminine woman. But I'm going to let that come as we start going deeper. So go ahead. I love it. Yeah. So the female feminine energy were more tuned to emotional nuances. We tend to prioritize connection and nurturing which is why we're okay just being a lot of times because that is when you're able to connect with one another. And so we are more grounded. The feminine and well, should be more grounded and receptive. So we can let others feel and be themselves. And then we can feel and be ourselves. We really create the space for that, I think, as women because men are not driven by connection and naturally relationship as much as us women are. So we kind of set the tone for that. And it starts with just being you can't do a relationship. You have to be in one. So good. So good. I love that. Absolutely. And so with this being said by the female kind of starting that, we allow others actually feel understood and be themselves, which brings warmth, empathy and comfort. It fosters closeness and relationships, which is super important, especially in marriage. So I think this is almost like a superpower for us women. We often think, oh, why is my man not taking the initiative to just be with me or sit and talk? It's because he's a man not saying, again, like Nick mentioned, not saying he doesn't have any responsibility to meet our need in that way. But that's why he's not naturally drawn towards that. And that's why we naturally are. And there's purpose in that. And so I think, I mean, at least just for me learning about this, I'm like, oh, wow, there's purpose and how God created me. And it becomes less frustrating, I think, with yourself and also with your significant other. Yes. I love that, babe. I think that's so good. I love that just a highlight. You mentioned the word. You think it's a superpower for the woman. And I will totally agree with that. That is one of the natural, it's the first essence of the woman of the female woman or the feminine woman, excuse me. And it is something that truly creates a blessing of an environment that can bring so much peace to the stressors of life. And it is something that it takes, we do it in a different way as men. But you ladies are able to do it so beautifully when you're in tune with that part of, you know, of yourselves. And you've been a wonderful example of that. And it's something that comes natural to the woman. But a lot of times you have to unlearn some things to be able to get there. Yep. I was going to touch on that next. Go ahead. Which I guess we'll dive a little bit more. Right. But just briefly, yeah, I think what you're referring to is the being aspect. Yes. Because I think a lot of us women, we are again, more emotional in a good way, like driven by that, driven by the connection, excuse me. But at the same time, we can, if you're anyone like myself who grew up learning to be more of a doer and just do things and take action, my father was in the military. And so very structured, very order. And I'm the oldest daughter. And so I got influenced by that. A lot of good characteristics come from that. And I'm so grateful. But also the other side of that, which it made me a little more masculine in the way that I just approached things. And so then when it comes to relationships, I tended to bring that masculine energy, the more boss lady, yeah, head, hauncho, you know, like I remember honestly growing up, my teacher saying, oh, she's going to, she's going to be leading men. And I'm just like, okay, like I always, I was like, okay, that sounds like a compliment, right? But now I realize that is great if you're woman leading, but there's nothing, you know, nothing wrong with being wrong with the role. We are all the heads and not the tail, right? That goes for women as well. But yeah, in a work environment, not in a church, we definitely believe a pastor needs to be a man. That's just biblical. But anyways, not saying we can't lead men in general, if that's where the Lord leads us. But now I realize, wow, like I don't think that's really where I fully fit. Because to that extent, sure, I could lead men, but what was not what I grew up not really understanding and didn't really have a view of was this nurturing conversation of a wife and a mother. And so I was very wired to be more of the masculine. And I, you start to get okay with that. Like, yeah, that's good. And you start to become more of a doer instead of a beer. Yes. And so just tying this all back to wrap this point up and we, we'll move on. It does take time to unlearn. If that's where you find yourself, it took me time to unlearn, shoot. I'm still unlearning. We're obviously, we're always in process, right? To unlearn what, how, how it was before we're on this healing journey. And how it was before we were walking with the Lord. And as a woman, now I can honestly say, I am most at peace when I am being. Yes. And taking the breaths, doing somatic work, things to get more in tune with how I'm feeling in the moment, not letting my emotions run the show. But being in tune with my body, am I, am I tense right now? Well, that's probably because I'm, I'm forcing my feminine self to be in a more masculine structure environment over long periods of time. And it doesn't serve your body well as a woman, your hormones. I could go off on a tangent. But I'm for the sake of time. I'm going to pull it back. Well, I think it's beautiful. And just a quick note before we dive deeper, I know maybe this is a newer concept to a lot of the listeners. You know, I know we're speaking to believers. And, you know, I know you just mentioned somatic work and being in tune with your body or where you've been speaking about feminine, feminine and masculinity. These are concepts and words and types of studies that are a lot of times, well, majority of the times are not mentioned or explain in a church setting. And so don't be alarmed. They were saying these things. We are totally anti-woke, anti-new age agenda. We're not, you know, we're not cool. We're not okay. And we stand boldly against all of these things. At the same time, we have the wisdom and the discernment and understanding that there are studies of the body and we're able to, that's the natural study. We're speaking of the natural, but it always the root of that is spiritual. So we're always keep the foundation of the word as the basis of it. And if anything that we're learning in the natural secular world goes against the word, that's when we eliminate it. But if it doesn't go against it or or and you don't lean into it as your ultimate truth, you're able to subtract good from it. And then it aligns with scripture. And then God will give you the revelation that he's really the source of all of it. So I just wanted to drop that in there in case anyone is like, wait, I don't understand it. So I don't make that clear to you guys. And if you have any questions, messages on IG will be happy to answer any questions that you have. Yeah. I love that. Thank you, babe. Yeah. Just like going to the doctor. Yes, correct. It's kind of like that, right? Yes. But anyways, so with that being said, let's move on to the second trait of femininity. And this is adaptability and flow. Flow. So again, the new age distorts everything, right? But let's just remove the lies just like last week's episode and focus on in general, as women, we are a lot more flexible than men. Yes. Why do you think we can multitask? We can be holding a baby on our hip while we're cooking something while we're talking on the phone while we're bubble, bubble, but like for us, it's fine. We can shift from this conversation to that conversation and completely different. A male's brain is like, well, whoa, like, yes, I'm not in a place to talk about your your grandma right now or whatever. Or you lost. You completely lost me there. I thought we're talking about X. Now we're talking about Z. How did they connect? And women, we can do that. Yes. Our brains are very, very different. And so this, this is, this is why we're more adaptable and we can flow. So we can respond to life's challenges with more grace and the changes that come up often more than mix. We're again, men are the structure. So that's where the, the complimentary roles really come into play, right? And we need the structure, but we also need the flow and thinking of this. And I remember early on in our relationship, things would happen. I think throughout the day where we have a schedule and it didn't, we didn't follow it or whatever we've been working together for a while. Now, since we met, Nick and I, and so I came up with a saying, hey, let's like, and I would like put my hand in my back pocket and like, I would say it like this. Let's whip out the flexibility card. And it just became this thing in our, in our relationship and it served as well, right? And this is why now I understand why I'm like, I came up with that because I'm like, hey, babe, all as well. Yes. You know, yeah, I would be so rigid with like the schedule and how things are supposed to go and, and what we had written down. And I would, I would want to just do that no matter what? Forset, make it which, which there, they're there definitely times to be more stern and like, no, absolutely not the answers, no discipline, which is a very masculine trait. And that all of us should have, obviously the Bible speaks about self discipline. So that, see that applies to everyone, right? But, but, but in its essence is a more masculine boundaries limits. That's a masculine trait. And so I would definitely be like hardcore and then Haley will bring this up about the flexibility card. And, and then out, it got to the point where I started to receive it and accept it because I knew that grace was the right answer. And so, yes, see that this is a perfect example of the female impacting the male in a positive way and helping being the helper. But let me stop myself because I know we're getting get there. So for sure, I love that. Yeah, we, we, we have the structure, but then we're also flexible. Yes. So that's the key with that. Okay. So moving on, last one, essence of femininity is expression and creativity. Yes. This is a really big one, just like order is good for men and women. Well, creativity, there's a lot of male creators, you know what I mean? You are, you, when we met, Nick was more of the creator than me. I was more structured. And so our journey has been to level out this conversation. Yes. Of masculine and feminine. But in essence, yeah, that's a feminine trait. So the masculine will seek to build the feminine will seek to enhance or to beautify. And so just an example for this one is why do us ladies like going shopping and making not only our wardrobe, right, getting accessories, making ourselves feel good, look better, even shopping for our husbands, right? Like making them getting them that nice belt, you know, like, honey, you need some new shoes. Like it's time. Yep. You name it. But even that our homes, we are called to be home makers. Hello, this is why the, the feminine energy is a more creative and expressive energy. And there's nothing wrong with that. That is why we make a home a home. You've heard a man makes, makes the house, builds a house. The woman makes it a home, though. And so that's why we, as women really are the heart of it, is because we express, we bring value, we enhance everything. And that includes obviously relationships, right? Yes. Bringing that, that kind of spark and that's just the flexibility and the intricacies of their romance and all of that. Like we kind of, hey, babe, like what's happening? Let me light a candle. You think the man's going to naturally light a candle. Most men probably won't. I mean, maybe some. Yeah, if you're super intentional, you think about it ahead of time, but it's not a natural for most, for most men. Maybe there's something out there that, that do that. And there's no problem with that. But yes, um, I would love if you just started light and candles. Yeah. Maybe I could work on that. Yeah. It is. I get the light. I usually get the light. True. Very true. But, but, but so real quick, I think the, the, the point here with the essence, and we're about to dive into the, the, the modern cultural definition of what femininity is, and we're going to expose some lies and then get to the biblical point. So definitely stick around. But I think the point of the essence is that this is a, this is a, an observation of what a feminine woman or a woman that has who is embracing the healthy femininity of who God created her to be in the essence, the essence. See, the essence that we're not saying the only way a woman should be. Otherwise, she's not a woman. See, we didn't use these words. No, because not based on doing it. That's not facts. It's not based on doing. Yes. But because it describes, yes, it describes the essence, the natural essence of the beauty, the feminine flow. It's like the flower that blooms, it's gentle, yet powerful and impactful. It embraces and harnesses and makes it better from within. And it relaxes and rests and it invites people into that rest, invites her man into that rest. Yeah. And that I'll just quickly share from a male standpoint, it brings super natural peace to the man, especially when it's his wife. And his wife is embracing this and practicing it perhaps if it's not a learned, if it's not something that she used to embrace or she was taught otherwise, she's learning some things and now she's embracing this new reality of who she is and the identity of the fact that she is a woman with a womb for a reason. And her brain is intricately connected and different wired and different ways than the man is. And her hormonal, chemical changes are different than the man. And she's learning and embracing these things. It brings a level of peace to the man that is so incredible because the man is facing a lot of other stressors in life, a lot of pressures as men, we spoke about last week, all the pressures that the man is facing, a woman and a wife, specifically that is in this place, it makes life so much more enjoyable for the man. I'm saying from personal experience and it is and I'm so grateful for that. So thank you, honey, for not only being that, but continuing to learn how to become more of that, not to do more of it to become more of that. And you're doing a great job at it and I'm very proud of you. Thank you, baby. Yeah, it's it's truly freeing when we learn to live within God's design of who we are. It's so freeing. Like even like I said, taking deep breaths, being more relaxed. Like I prefer that now that I've experienced both. But a lot of times we are we've only lived one way and so we don't really understand, you know, it starts with the awareness and then the learning. And then we can just implement and God God's grace will help us shift and make the proper changes. So thank you, babe. Absolutely. And if you do want to learn more about some of these stress responses, you just make you just reminded me of that. It could be a lot of stress responses. You are learned because of your upbringing in your past. You were taught to be a certain way. You have a certain stress response that makes you make maybe more uptight or rigid as a woman and you and you want to learn more about that episode 71. We spoke about the four basic stress responses. So you can understand understand yourself and your spouse better. So that will be a good follow up episode. Perhaps if you like to dive deeper. But with that said, babe, let's go into the part two. I'm excited to get into the meat of this thing of what is the the cultural modern definition of femininity and maybe some of some of the truth mixed with lies there inside of that so that we can kind of see it all for what it is. And then we can dive into and and and put a mirror that with biblical realities. What is up guys? I have some exciting news for you. If you haven't yet joined our free Facebook group now is the time to do so. Why? Because we are going to be going live once a month doing free hot seat coaching Q&A style inside the Facebook group. What that looks like is we're going live. You get to jump on for 30 minutes plus you get to ask us questions about your relational life. Whether you're single dating or married, this is a chance to get a few of what it's like to work with us. Absolutely free. The first one is going to be this coming Tuesday November the 12th and is going to be powerful. So use the link below join the group and we can't wait to see you there. Now let's get back to the episode. Yeah, absolutely. Let's do it. So this is big. So beauty and physical appearance. I'm just going to dive right in. This is the biggest one for us women. Just like it was the success and the work for the men. There's purpose in that. But then when you tie it to your identity and that becomes the source, then that's where the lie becomes mixed in. So for us, it's beauty and physical appearance. I mean, we see this all over our culture. You know, there's this push that if you don't, you know, you're not wearing this size. If you don't look like this, if your face isn't this, your skin isn't this smooth or X, Y, and Z, you know, if you're not done up every single day, I mean, I shoot, I bought into this big time, especially when I was in college. You know, like this, that was like the climax of me. Yeah, getting to this point and then right after is when I came to the Lord and he's just changed everything since. Yeah, he wrecked me. And now I'm finding more beauty and just my natural beauty. I used to never, I was, I used to think I can never go to the house without like a full face of makeup or if I am, I'm just like, you know, unless it's the gem or something. But like if I'm going in any setting, I have to be wearing makeup. I have to wearing eyelashes. Otherwise, otherwise, I'm not beautiful. And it's we do this to ourselves. I mean, the culture does it, but as women, we, we choose whether we buy into this or not. Same as the men. We choose whether we buy into it or not. We know what the word says or beautifully, wonderfully, wonderfully, fearfully made. We are perfectly made in his side. And so we have to, we have to wrestle with this, right? Yes. What the culture says versus what God says. Yes. And so yeah, for the cultural definition of femininity, it's a beautiful woman. If you look beautiful on the outside, then you're a female. And when you take just the external things, just like with the men, just the external things, this is why we have men thinking that they are women just because they're wearing a dress or a wig or tights or heels. Like, that's not, you're not a woman. I'm sorry, but, but you're not. You're still a man and you're a very confused man. And I feel so sorry for you. I really hate that. You know, God created you perfectly to be a man. Yes. And he has such a beautiful intention and purpose for your life. But as long as we believe the lies, and this is one of them, that physical appearance equals a woman equals a feminine, what like, no, that's not the case. And the media and advertising, of course, promote this. And there's certain beauty standards out in the world. That again, if you're looking at the world, we're always going to think what we're not making the mark. And so you really have to shift as a woman. I think what you're focusing on, even on social media, unfollow. Oh, she's so pretty and she's so popular. How does she make you feel? Does she make you feel good about yourself? Or does she make you feel like you're not making the mark, meeting the mark? Are you comparing? Are you comparing? If you're comparing, you need to unfollow her sister. I don't care how beautiful, how whatever. You need to unfollow her. If you're following anyone for that matter, that's not calling you to be embracing who you are as a woman, who God has called you to be or adding value to your life, pointing you to the Lord. Yes. Then they're pointing you somewhere else and the enemy is using that to compare. And he will use that a thousand percent. And so yeah, I think that's the, I think that's the big thing that we tie to our identity is, hey, if I'm not beautiful on the outside, I'm not beautiful period. Yes. And that is a lie. It is a lie from a pit of hell. And if I may jump in here, I mean, it is, it is so sad that that is how culture pushes and supposedly tells women that they need to be as like the marker of whether they're worthy of being loved and whether they're worthy of being appreciated and loved and cared for because that is such a worldly superficial superficial point of view. It is not godly. And it and the biggest detrimental piece of that is that it completely ignores qualities like wisdom, compassion, relational strength, making it makes the appearance that primary and the primary identifier of the value of the woman. And you hear even in all the, we spoke about it last week, but all the quote unquote cultural modern alpha male podcast and pages. You even see a lot of that. The worldly view of how quote unquote high value men only see women and they want the most beautiful woman. And that's at the end of the day, all that they want and they want a lot of them because it's all focused on self and it's all selfish and it's all demonic at its root. Yeah. Not saying you can't be pretty ladies. Absolutely. Take care of yourselves men. Absolutely. Take care of yourselves. But it's not the sole identifier of your value and your worth. Why? Because once you're born again, that means you died to your old self. You were, you were raised. You can have a new life. You were birth again by the Holy Spirit. Now your identity is found in Christ. Yeah. That is the foundation of your life. And if no, no one told you this, you heard it here. This is what, and I invite you to take this to the father and ask to ask him to reveal your identity to you of how he sees you. Beautiful and wise ladies. I love it. Yeah. Absolutely. And I'll say once I became a mother, a wife, and then a mother, especially it helps me with this makeup conversation because it's like, wait a second. You view become a wife. You become a mom. You're like, wait, all that, like it really starts shedding the lies. Yeah. So quickly of late, that doesn't matter. And I think that's why marriage is so beautiful. You get married to a godly man. He will point out your natural beauty. I remember so many times, Nick saying, baby, you don't need to put eyelashes on. You don't need it. You know, like, yeah, I love your. Yeah. And he would just speak life into me and little by little, I actually started to believe it. And now I literally never wear eye makeup. I mean, I maybe wear makeup light, light makeup, you know, sometimes, like just powders, eyebrows. That's it. And then lipgloss, but like, full on makeup, like I couldn't tell you the last time, just going out to a big event or something. Nothing crazy. And it's so freeing. I mean, not only it's way quicker to get ready in the morning. And when you're a mama, that's important. But also, it's just more freeing. And I feel freer. Like now when I do wear a lot of makeup, I'm excited to take it off. Instead of, oh, I need a hurry and put the mask on. I'm excited. Okay, let me just be literally, let me just, let me just be in my own skin for once. And the confidence really does come from the Lord. So come on. So there's a glow. Once you have the Holy Spirit, you have a new glow and you have you literally have the light of God in you. So that makes you beautiful and vital. Yep. You gain vitality. So okay. But that's second second thing in the modern cultural definition of femininity. And we see this a lot. It's empowerment through independence. So modern femininity emphasizes independence, autonomy, sometimes elevating career, most times, over traditional roles like motherhood or caring for your family or being a wife. It elevates personal achievements. AKA trying to get us to be like men. Just a very skewed version of even, they try to get us to be like men, but even just a worldly man. Like that's the worst part. Like the world tries to get us women to be men, but not even a godly man. They try to get us to be a worldly man. That's just crazy, right? Over. Like I said, just caring for your family and actually having a family. I mean, shoot every time I meet a woman that's like, ah, you know, I don't want to have kids. My heart hurts for her because I know that she's bought into a lie that that's going to take away from her life. Don't get me wrong motherhood. It's challenging. It will stretch you just like marriage well. It will sanctify you and that is such a blessing, but it exposes your selfishness in the process and that is worth, that's worth doing. But not only that, you get to have a beautiful child and just get to view the world from a different perspective. You get to view the world based on how God sees us and that is priceless. And so as a woman, I'll do a separate episode on motherhood specifically. That's been really stirring in my heart. But yeah, that's the opposite of this is independence. You don't need that. It's going to take away. If you have kids, it's going to take away your freedom. All those lies. That's that's through the modern, the modern definition of femininity. Yep. Those women are fed that. And it's really sad because it takes away from who we were created to be. Amen. Amen to that. And it is. There's definitely an agenda towards that. We don't need to go too deep into this. I just want to make a quick comment because I did mention last week that I would mention it. But yes, the, the, and there's a long history. I encourage all of you to go research and learn about the feminist movement and what are the roots and where they started and why. And it, it, it, it's, it's all demonic. Yes. It encouraged the woman to feel lesser than and to feel like a victim. Yeah. And then to compare with the man and try to fight and compete with men. Yeah. To be the alpha, be cut and for a lot of different reasons. I guarantee you that lady that started. No, there's a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of hurt, a lot of mother and father wounds. They didn't use it. That's what he does. Unhealed and she became very toxic. And now she started to promote this ideology that is totally ungodly. And, and that it once again, this is not to diminish the responsibility and accountability that men have for the responsibility of leading by example and, and, and leading and loving sacrificially like Christ loves the church we spoke about that last week. But at the same time, there's a responsibility on the woman side to reject that theology, that thinking process that is not just secular. It is, it is ungodly. It's literally demonic. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's, it's that, that is the belief that uproots the traditional family that God created. I mean, right there. Yes. Because I just said it. The woman wants to be independent. She wants to feel empowered. She doesn't have time for a family. Boom. Yep. She goes, she gets, she gets, she gets abortions. She doesn't even, you know, like that she's on birth control, preventing controlling. She wants to do her own thing. She's like, she's being the God of her life. That's where it starts. And so, I don't need, I don't need anybody. I'm good. Even though I don't need a man. Like, right there, like how are you going to have children? Like it just completely flips it on its head. Yep. And so we need to recognize that and also recognize the lie that being a wife and a mother is not lesser. It's a thousand percent not. If not, in my opinion, it's arguably even more important because you're the one raising the next generations. Like hello, that's big. I know it's hard for us to wrap our minds around, but so good. That's so big. You know, like that was literally lie that we have bought. So if you are in a motherhood role right now, and then I'll pass it to Nick because he's like he's on fire over here. He's ready to share something. He's moving. If you are a mother right now or a wife and you're just struggling, especially I want to speak to the moms actually. If you are struggling and and you think, wow, like hubby gets to go work and he gets to have real conversations with grownups and actually gets rest for himself and go out of the house and have a life. It's so it seems right. And I'm stuck at home with all these babies or blah blah blah blah. And I'm just, you know, and then PJs or sweatpants or not picking up care of myself. Let me just tell you the what number one, it's time to step up and actually take care of yourself because when we don't take care of ourselves, then the enemy gets to lie to us. And then we do fall into the trap of self pity. And then we start saying, Hey, this feminine feminism sounds sounds good. It's a shiny object, right? And so you got to recognize the lie that you are valuable in the work you're doing in the home. It's truly invaluable. Yes. You are you are shaping lives of human being souls. You are literally pointing your children to the Lord. Hopefully you're modeling for them. You're taking time to understand their lives. And like I said, motherhood teaches you so much. The Lord has taught me so much, even just about myself relationship with him. So please, please, please, I'm going to jump off this tangent. But I just want to just point out that what you're doing, it's not overlooked. Even if hubby overlooks it sometimes, it's not overlooked. The Lord sees it and we serve him first and foremost. So keep that in mind. Amen. So good. That's so good. So what are you going to say? Well, you kind of were touching on it. You know, I think you hit it. I mean, I'll just say that your family is your first ministry. And it is legacy work that you're doing, legacy work. You're shaping the future of you're literally teaching your kids. If you are, if you're, if you're a mom, naturally, if you will be one day, got willing with your husband, then you, I mean, that calling in is such a beautiful opportunity for you to literally change generations to come. And as a man, I will be speaking for all men right now, to let you know that you are so appreciated. And that even even if you're not getting financially compensated for the work that you're doing, you may have a job that's fine. I'm speaking about your work at home and your work with your family, right? Even if you're not being financially compensated for that, the return on investment is much higher than working a job because you're impacting lives. And yeah, it's just, you know, I just, we honor you and we thank you. And I, I've been saying this for ever since we became parents that the work, the job that my wife has when she's with our daughter and future kids, God willing, the work that you have is way harder than the work that I have doing any type of work. You're working harder. There's more at stake. And I'm grateful. And so don't buy into the lies. Yeah, they're not real. Yeah. Amen. Amen. And we're kind of, we're kind of, we're kind of jumping ahead, which is good. That's how you know this conversation is just so fluid. So I hope you guys are enjoying just the laid back of this. However, let's just wrap up the modern day. As you can tell, we're ready to jump into the biblical. We already kind of are a modern day. It kind of goes with the independence assertiveness, having it all as if the modern, the modern cultural definition encourages women to be again, more independent that they can have a career. They can't have this. They can't have the family. They can kind of do everything, which is not completely wrong. I think the wrong thing about it is it's emphasizing like Nick already mentioned the equality, trying to get us to compete with men. Yes. And also sometimes it can put pressure. I mean, I'm a business woman, but I'm also a mother and a wife and a homemaker. And it is a lot, you know what I mean? But I rejecting the cultural norm saying that I have to do it all or I'm not worthy. Yes. So like if there's a season where the Lord is like, I mean, I'll tell you the end of my pregnancy, I felt very cold as I was shifting into nesting mode, very cold to slow down in our work setting. And I leaned into that. I knew it was going to be a seasonal thing. Obviously, I knew, you know, this is our mission. We're going to be here long term. But I was at peace and I didn't buy into the lie that I have to do everything at all times or else I'm not worthy or I'm not valuable. You let the Lord lead in what this looks like, not the culture. Amen. Because this also will lead to burnout in a lot of women saying that, oh, you have, you have a family, great. Well, you have to also go have a career. And I think it's important that you just spoke in life into the ladies Bay, because I think a lot of husbands don't recognize their power in this conversation. Like they just don't speak life into their wife. And so she's thinking all this and this is why she's more susceptible to buy into the lives of enemy because he's also not countering it. Yeah. By saying, hey, what you're doing, what you just mentioned, what you're doing is valuable. And if this is what you're feeling called to do, I support you. Yes. Because that'll lead the woman to, oh, I have to go get a job because my hubby said, I have to like hubby needs to support wife. If she's feeling burnt out, she's bought into the cultural and you can be emphasizing that even if you don't mean to. So consciously. Yeah. Well, let me just take 30 seconds in and say, if you're a husband listening to me right now, if you're a lady listening, send it to your man. So I can speak to him. So if you're a husband and you're not speaking life into your wife and everything that she's doing in your home and potentially with your kids, if you guys have kids, then then I want to call you up to the standard of a godly man and speak life into your wife and be grateful for everything that she does in how it empowers your life and your future family's life. And you give honor where honor is due. You show respect and you show appreciation and you care for her and you let her know that what she's doing is valuable. And if you're not doing, I'm going to call you out and say that you're not really rising up to the standard of God is calling you to be as a husband. Okay. Now it's okay. You can hear from that. You can make a change. Right. I'm not, I'm not rebuking you. I'm just, I'm just challenging you to step up to the plate because your words mean a lot to you and how your words and what's in your heart that's coming out towards your wife means a lot to her. And if you're not going to do it, who's going to do it, bro? And I do want to jump in on that note because I think a lot of times, I mean, if the woman is desiring to have a career as well, that's amazing. But I think a lot of times the men because of last week, they're still believing the success driven of the financial and so they're like, oh, let me, let me, maybe you, you met and you both had two jobs and then you became parents, she just kept the job, right? And you guys didn't really talk about it. Whatever the case may be. Maybe this isn't applied to you at all. Maybe you're already at home as a woman. But maybe you're still in the job. And the hub, hubby's like, oh, I like the second income. So I'm not going to say anything. Even though wifey is not happy and she's getting burnt out because she also is taking care of the home as well. And so I think, I think to your point is check in with your wife, is she happy at work? Correct. So if she works outside of the home as well, is she feeling burnt out? Where are your priorities? Because our priority should be as a family. And I think that's the beauty of husband and wife is the husband is supposed to be the provider and the leader. The wife is the nurture, which is where I'm about to bring some verses up. But she can't really do that job successfully and well and take care of the home if she's torn, which is, which is my point here, having it all, that is the lie of the enemy. And so sometimes the husband you could either be kind of just feeding into that or you can call it out and be like, no, if you're burnt out, if you're feeling the pressure of doing all the things, honey, I care for you. And we will make this work. I will step up. I will get a second job. I will do it. It takes I will get creative. You know what I mean? So you can have what you need, whether it's just in the season or permanently, if you want to be home full time, you need to make that known as a wife. You have a voice too. Absolutely. You guys need to have definitely a conversation. I know we're going to kind of a side point here, but I think that is good. It's the perfect time to have that. You guys need to get to have that conversation and figure out the vision that you see for your future and what is your mission as a family and how you're going to work together because yeah, like I'll just and that's for you guys to figure out right that we're not here to tell you exactly what you got to do. There's room and grace and God will empower you and confirm to you. Absolutely. However, I'll also share it from our experience and our perspective and just our values. We value raising kids and our parents. Well, guess what? Someone's got to be home with our child because for us, I'm not saying we're never going to do that. We will never do that. I'm not going super hardcore extremist here, but just for us and our values, we rather not pay for daycare to leave the baby out all day with someone else being taught by someone else, even if it's God in the absolutely. We don't know their values. Well, correct. Right. But even if it is a Christian or a biblical center, which that would be ideal. If we were to do that, that's what we would choose. However, we would prefer to have one person, ideally the nurturer, in essence, wink, wink. The one who's equipped, the one who created the baby to begin with. Correct. To be involved and let let demand take care of the finances. And if that means it reduces our income, that's okay. We I'd rather you rather have one income. Yes. And and be able to pour into the family in that way by someone being involved and having two weak incomes and then one and then the child is always with someone else all day long. That's just us. That's for you guys to wrestle with. Take it to the Lord, have a conversation, but definitely don't make a decision out of love and not out of fear either. Because to me, it's pretty obvious. You know, but but anyways, that's just us. That's just where we're at. Just to share it as an example in case in case anyone is interested or no. Yeah, absolutely. I think just having the freedom to even talk about this is important. And so hopefully if you're a woman, you're like, wow, I feel that way. I've never talked about that. Hopefully this just encourages you to do so because this stuff is important. You need to work as a team. And so moving on to the biblical definition of femininity. And we're going to go through this a little quicker. I think I'm just going to dive into our Bible verses because we've kind of been talking about it. Number one is nurturing and caregiving. Hello, we've just been talking about it. So in the Bible, the Lord, He celebrates our nurturing spirit. And I'm going to read in Proverbs and Titus here shortly. But it speaks about motherhood a lot. And it speaks about raising children a lot. And being a wife, a lot, and building community a lot, nurturing community. This, this includes emotional support, spiritual support, not only just physically nurturing your children, but also people around doing community. That is, that is a character trait of a woman of a feminine woman is the nurturing in the caretaking. We want to do that naturally, especially if we're in tune with our feminine side, we're like, okay, yes, this is how I want to do. If it hasn't been kind of pushed out by the masculine, right? Okay, so here is Titus 2, 3 through 5. Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good. These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children to live wisely and be pure to work in their homes to do good and to be submissive to their husbands. Then, they will not bring shame on the Word of God. Okay, I love this. I mean, right there to work in their homes. This is how you know, you guys, this was over 2000 years ago. Like, that's how you know, this isn't just a cultural thing. The culture changes. It says, one, one year, women are going to do this next year. Oh, now we're changing. This is, this is in style now. Like, no. What the Bible is speaking about is rock solid set in stone because he created us intricately to be nurturers, to want to work in our homes to manage multiple things at once. Like we already mentioned. So I just love that scripture. Amen. Do you want to read Proverbs? Sure. Proverbs 31, 26 through 27. She opens her mouth with wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Love that one too. So this is very clearly showing that we take care of our homes that includes the children, but that also includes all the other things in the home. Am I perfect at this? Most definitely not. And some days, I'm like, you know, again, flexibility card. Leave the pile of laundry right there. Leave it in the drawer. It's fine. You know, get me there tomorrow, right? Family is always number and priority because they're human beings, right? So if someone's having a meltdown, if it's Elena, or even if Nick needs my help, I'm going to leave the laundry there and go support my husband. Why? Because we are nurturers and caregiving so good as women. That's who we are. Amen to that. Okay. Now let's shift to the second trait for the biblical definition of a female or femininity. And that is wisdom and discernment. So we see this in scripture a lot with Esther and Ruth. There's many different examples, but where us as females, we have more natural, I'd say, intuition and wisdom comes through that from the Lord. And so that is, that's a, that's a big, I think, trait for females because they're sometimes, I mean, just how to describe it. I just don't have a good feeling about that. Yes. Or honey, I think this or hey, have you prayed about that? Like we just have that natural ability to discern situations. I don't want to say more than men, but I think it's more natural because of our more emotional and tune with our intuition, that essence of course. Correct. Yeah. I mean, the Lord clearly gave you ladies something unique in that sense. And especially when the woman is able to further strengthen her spirit of discernment. Now that becomes literally a superpower. And in a marriage, she becomes the helper of the man. Yeah. See for many reasons. And so I'll totally. Yes. Absolutely. I mean, you are one of my greatest wise counsel. And I tell this to you and I'll tell it to all of you guys because it's the truth. And you are a blessing in my life. And so, yes, it's something that is there and sometimes goes unnoticed. If it's not, if you don't recognize it and you point a finger to it, you can overlook it and not recognize the value of that, but it totally is there. Yeah. So I love that. It's beautiful. Yeah. And this, this encourages us women to also just, like you just mentioned, build up our husbands, but also build up sisters in Christ, other people, family and making decisions as well. And so this wisdom really comes into play. So some verses with this would be Proverbs 31, 25 through 26. She's clothed in with strength and dignity. She can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue. That's powerful. So beautiful. Proverbs 31 woman. She's not fearful. She trusts the Lord. Yes. She speaks with, she's an alignment with his will and his words. That's powerful. That means she has far sideness, right? She's able to see very, very far. She sees beyond the trivial matters that seem to be big that the enemy wants to scream and say it's the end of the world. She's able to laugh at them. There's wisdom. There's deep spiritual wisdom there available. And not to say that men don't have that because we do have that as well. We're able to have more of that as we are closer to the Lord and have his his spirit in us fully alive. But there's something unique and special about the woman having that because that is in nature. I love it. So Proverbs 14 one says, the wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands, the foolish one tears hers down. So this is key even with home making and supporting your, your children, your husband taking care of your home, managing all the things that it takes wisdom to know when to do what? I mean, so good wisdom is just key key key for life in general. And you see what happens when we don't have that foolishness. I was just going to say that this is kind of a warning as well that even though it's there, you can be that woman. But if you're not, if you don't intentionally focus on pray for embrace lean into the wisdom that is available to you in the way that you've been precisely, complexly and uniquely made as a woman, then you can miss that gift. And this is what happens when when that's there. And so there's always two sides of that coin, right? So, but I think that's a beautiful imagery of what is available. And last verse. So first, Peter, three, three, through four, your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. Yeah, I love that one too. I put that one here because it really emphasizes the the character of the woman, right? And so talking about wisdom, that is far more important than our outward appearances. We're not going to go back to that. And we already touched on that. Yes. This verse kind of covers a lot of what we're speaking about here. Yes. And real quick, it doesn't say that your outward appearance and your beauty is of no value. It just says that your beauty should not be coming from your outward appearance. See, there's a difference. The root. It shouldn't be. That shouldn't be your identity once again, right? That shouldn't be how you view yourself as a beauty because of what's on the outside, focus on the inside. It's that. Go deeper. Correct. Don't be superficial. Yes. Get caught up in that that lot, that trap. Correct. That keeps us just a surface gentle and quiet spirit. Wow. That's powerful. That's incredible. Okay. And just to wrap us up, this is the last trait of biblical femininity. It is being a supportive partner. So having a supportive partnership. So good. So the Bible talks a lot as we've already spoken about as femininity being relational. And in Genesis 2 18, of course, the Lord says, I will create a helper for Adam. And this is talking about marriage. Okay. Praise God. Thank you, Lord. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Primarily in marriage, also in other relationships, right? But this specifically marriage, because that's what that's where it all started, right? Supportive partnership. We were meant to be together and and be equals. Like we're not we're not under our husbands and value. We are under them in submission because there's an order. God's a God of order, but we are a partner, which means like Nick just mentioned, he sees me as wise counsel, praise the Lord. I don't take that lightly. And I'm so grateful because I feel very seen, very loved in my marriage and why it's because he knows it's a partnership and I know it's a partnership. Absolutely. We don't view it otherwise. And so I think when you think of being a wife in that way and you get to experience it like that, you become so grateful for being a wife. You're like, I want this partnership. You know, today we went to the gym this morning and I took a little real of us just cheersing our protein shakes because we got to work out together and started some work. And I was just had a moment. I was like, I'm so grateful for marriage. And I posted that on our Instagram and it's like, man, I'm so grateful for this partnership that I have with my best friend. Yeah, absolutely. Who in the world else would I want to be doing life with? Correct. So yeah, this is, this is a big one too. So here are a couple of verses to wrap us up. So Proverbs 124, a wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones. So this is clearly saying that again, what's underneath matters a lot more because as his women, we have a big pool on her husband's, this partnership, how it goes, we lift them up or we're tearing them down. And this is we are the crown. Again, we spoke about this before. We're not the neck. We are the crown scripture says. That's the glory. Think about that. That's the glory. Think about this or second. We beautify him. Correct. The crown does the crown, does the physical crown make a king a king? Or does the physical crown make the king glorious? And he's shining in his glory. And you can see from wherever you look at him, the splendor and the royalty, the royalty. It makes him his full version of a king of them makes sense. But it doesn't make him the king, but it glorifies him as king. That's what the wife does. She doesn't make him the husband. The wife doesn't make him the man. The wife glorifies the man and the husband. It's a powerful and beautiful thing. Makes him more of who he's called to be. Yeah. I love it. We have that power for sure. Yep. Okay. And in Proverbs, I can read this one. Proverbs 31 11 through 12. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. Wow. So good. I'm living this right now and I'm just so grateful for that. Praise the Lord. Yeah. This is amazing. This is the goal. Right. Yeah. Thank you, Lord. This is a big part of what makes us a female. Are we actually being supportive, right? We talked about the modern view, views it as, oh, you have to be independent, right? You don't need the man. All of those, you know, ideologies and beliefs that are just very twisted and very sad because there's such beauty with a true biblical partnership that God has ordained, that God has created from the beginning. Amen. And so we just pray that this whole episode and last episode, of course, about the men that it encourages you, that you just recognize where you're at, if you're a woman listening to this, and you say, wow, these are the areas that I want to work on. Wow, here are the areas that I'm still buying into the modern beliefs. And I don't want to, right? So we need to start by having awareness. And then here are the areas of, oh, wow, like, I'm doing good at this. Let me lean more into it or let me give myself credit. Like my husband just gave me credit. Thank you, babe. Like, wow, I am, you know, being the crown of my husband or maybe I need to lift him up more, you know? And so figure out where you're at. And then the next two episodes, we're going to do part three and four and give you guys some practicals of how to make this shift because at some point, most of us, we're all coming out of the world's way of viewing masculinity and femininity because we've all been influenced whether a little bit or a lot. We are all surrounded by the culture every single day. And we're swimming upstream. So yeah, we want to, we want to equip you guys so good. Yeah, we have a lot more to come on this topic for sure. And I just want to say last couple of thoughts here. Everything that we shared this episode and last episode, maybe if this is new information for you or if you know that there's a lot that you can still work on to be that person that God has made you to be. Listen to it again, maybe take notes, study this information, take some of the things that really stood out to you to your prayer closet, as God to review more of that to you to point out ways that you can change or ask him to bring healing into certain areas of your life that may be blocking that from happening. This type of work, you can try to do it all on your own, but you don't have to do it all on your own. And as a matter of fact, you shouldn't because there's going to be more breakthroughs in your life as a man and as a woman, when you take it to God. Okay. So I just want to encourage you guys to do that. And remember that these qualities and essences that we spoke about the both sides, they are complimentary. Like you just said, there's no competition. There's no need to compete because we're not the same. And we don't need to be the same. That's why we are able to be together and we compliment because we're not the same. We're two pieces that can come together and fit well with one another. And so it's literally the best way that I can put it. It's like it's the structure and action of the man, the male, and the flow and flexibility of the woman is just like the river flowing waters through the river bank. The river bank creates the boundaries and structures. And then the the glory of the river flowing is able to go do its thing. And that's the picture of what it's like to for a biblical feminine man in a biblical excuse me. Not that. Not that. A feminine woman and a biblical masculine man coming together. It's just works. It just works. Yes. And it's so beautiful. So yeah, when both the masculine and the feminine qualities are honored, then they do create a beautiful dynamic. Amen. It's balanced. Amen to that. And we're both able to flourish. So that's it guys. We pray that over you. We just thank you guys for giving us your ears and your time and we're excited to hopefully equip you in episode three and four. Absolutely. We bless you guys. We love you. Have a good one and we'll see you in the next episode.