UC LIVE: Mikko Rantasesta playoff-etsintäkuulutus? Patrik Laine lopettaa uransa kokonaan? SM-liigan finaaliennakko ja ennusteet, Mestarien liiga

When Congress eliminated funding for public media last year, we saw a groundswell of support for NPR. America bears from planet money, and it is not too late to be part of this movement. If you missed making a donation during public media giving days, do it right now. Show your support for public radio that is by the people for the people. At donate.npr.org and thanks. You see Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me The NPR News Quiz. I am the anchor man, the anchor myth, the anchor legend, Bill Curves. And here is your host at the San Diego Civic Theater in San Diego, California, Pierce San Diego. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, San Diego. We have a great show for you today because later on we are going to be talking to a true icon, the man who not only made San Diego great, he kept it classy. That's right, later on we are going to be joined by the anchor man himself, Ron Burgundy. Right now, it's your chance to join our action news team. Give us a call. The number is 1-triple-8, wait, wait. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Ben Johnson from Torrance, California. Hey, Ben, in Torrance, up the coast in the L.A. area. What do you do there? I am a municipal planner. A municipal planner. You plan out municipalities. I know, it's very exciting work. Yeah. Well, Ben, let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, a Peabody and an Emmy award-winning journalist and comedian. It's Alzo Slade. What's up, Ben? How you doing, buddy? How you doing, yourself? So far so good. Next, you've seen a man hurt him in the good place. Loki, Star Trek, Lower Decks, and currently in man on the inside. It's Eugene Cordero. Hey, Ben. How you doing, man? How you doing? And you can see her in Beverly Hills, California, at the Wallace N. in Berg Center for the Performing Arts on June 12th. Her podcast is "Nobody listens to Paula Boundstone." It's Paula Boundstone. Hey, Ben. How you doing, Paula? So Ben, welcome to the show. As is our practice, we're going to start with whose bill this time. Bill Curtis is going to read for you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain, just two of them. You know you'll win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose in your voice mail. Are you ready to go? Ready. Our first quote is about somebody who made a state visit this last week. People have switched them from no kings to, okay, one king. So that was a journalist quoted in the New Yorker about the reception to whose state visit. King Charles. King Charles, yes. Charles III. The president of the United States was absolutely thrilled to host the king for a state visit. They have so much in common. They're both old white men who loved cheating on their wives. You know that's what the fist bump was about, right? At the state dinner that Trump threw for the king, the king gave Trump a, this is true, a giant gold bell that said Trump on it to signify that his British friends were only a bell ring away. And it was excited. The president loved it. Melania was thrilled. She tied to the bell around the president's neck so she knows when he's wandering here. I wonder when they come over from, from across the pond, I wonder if they ask like, how long are y'all going to call this New York and New Jersey? Like it's been around for quite a long time. I think you just call it, you know. Well, if we just called it New York and Jersey, they'd have to call their places Old York and Old Jersey. Well, I think that's very American. Yeah. [laughter] The only part of the whole thing that I saw really, I heard about this speech, but I saw the clip on the internet of Trump pushing, cutting in the receiving line between the Queen and King Charles, and they seemed surprised. Because apparently the King's mother hadn't told him that Trump does that. Yeah. Normally you have to be out on the streets to get that kind of rude stuff. That's true. You know, when you're in the roped-off section, you're generally safe. Yeah. But. Well, it is true that Queen Elizabeth's presence was there at the dinner. I mean, he's only been King for a short while. Trump even took a moment to ask King Charles, remind me, was the dead lady your wife or your mom? Wow. [laughter] Whoa. [laughter] San Diego Lucicity. Yeah. Lucicity, yeah. Alright. And what was the answer? [laughter] Apparently, the King, who knew, was very funny. When his remarks at the state dinner, he was great. He spared nobody. He was like, "I see. We're having the classic British dessert tonight, spotted dick." Oh, wait. That's just Stephen Miller. [laughter] [applause] You do a good King Charles there, too. Thank you. Yeah. Alright. Your next quote is from a Los Angeles real estate agent. It was designed so you don't ever have to leave if you don't want to. He was talking about one of his new listings with a price of $400 million. It is the most expensive what ever put on the market in America. It's like a home or a mansion. Yes, it is a mansion. Yes, at that price it would be better being. Oh, yeah. No. I will say that is not a home. No. It's just one more sign that our revolution is overdue. The journal says that the house is listed at a price that is more than $100 million over the current record for an American home. The mansion has six family bedrooms, ten staff bedrooms, a gym, a chef's kitchen, and a pool. Oh, wait. That's the guest house. Wow. The main house, this is all true, has its own chef's kitchen and gym plus a spa, a beauty salon, ten family bedrooms, and thirteen staff bedrooms, which is a lot of staff bedrooms. I don't know if you're the kind of person who can buy a place like this, you should be careful about letting the staff outnumber you. I mean, $400 million. That's typical for LA. You know? That's about right. That's about right. I mean, doesn't it just seem a little tone deaf with everything, you know, with people, you know, housing costs are. Really, you think $400 million is tone deaf? No. I kind of, I just feel like everybody is struggling to pay their rent, to pay their mortgage and some, you know, if they were a little bit more respectful of the trouble the rest of us in, they would have listed it at $3.9999. Thank you. That's what I think. It has every possible amenity, including, and this is true, a working X-ray suite. Wow! Totally unnecessary. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Read it, it's working? Yes. Oh, okay. Okay, because in my house, I have a non-working, just a worst. And I'm just like, what am I doing here? It's weird. I mean, it's unnecessary. If you have that much money, you should be able to replace your bones with something that doesn't break. I don't have an X-ray suite, but I have a guy who just guesses what's on your inside and sketches it. Yeah. Now, that's been enough so far. Can you imagine being a guest at this place and you have such high expectations and you get into the shower and the water pressure is trash. All right. Then your last quote is the Wall Street Journal again. This time, they're writing about a new innovation in cars. It increases the risk of backing over something or someone. So apparently, we're going to enjoy an increased risk of backing over something because what standard feature are the newest cars getting rid of? You want to get ahead? You get ahead. Yeah, automakers are all about looking forward, right? Not looking behind you. Oh, are they getting rid of rearview cameras? No, we need those. In fact, this car will entirely rely on rearview cameras because it will not have a-- It won't have a back window. It will not have a rear window. Yes, it's gone. Gone by the way, the hand crank on the front of the car. It's all obsolete. The 2026 Polestar 4 EV has sitting for five, a 300 mile range, and no rear window. This is crazy. Actually, it's not that crazy. I just realized my own car doesn't ever rear window. It's just focused on my phone while driving. I didn't notice. So you cannot see out of the back of the car if you turn around as nothing. Well, pink. Instead, there are, of course, rear-facing cameras. And instead of a rear-view mirror, it is a rear-view mirror-shaped video display, right? It gives you all the advantages of a window. And it could stop working at any moment. They have a little sign on it that says objects are less important than they appear. (audience applauding) - Bill, how did Ben do in our quiz? - Three, up. Kind of soft too, a good start. - Congratulations, Ben. - Nice, Ben. - Thank you. (upbeat music) - Right now, a panel time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Also, there's a new app for fans of scary movies. It warns you just before what happens. - You get scared. - Exactly, something scary happens or jump scares. - I was just joking. - No, it was true. The app is called Benz, and you just tell it what you're watching, and when you start the movie, it'll warn you about the jump scares before they happen. It's a great idea, but why is the notification sound someone yelling, "Boom!" (audience laughing) - It truly does ruin the whole movie for them. - Yeah, well, I mean, apparently this is something that people want as a popular app, but I'm not a fan of horror movies myself, but isn't the point for those who do that they want to be scared? - Yeah, this is like watching the movie with somebody that's seen the movie already, and they say, "Watch this." I was watching before you said, "Watch this." - Yeah. (audience laughing) - I could have used this when I was dating. (audience laughing) - How so? - They jumped out of you. - Because I would have my phone by my side, and when I know what scares about the happen, I just put my arm around the young lady. - Oh! - Morning, man. - And then so when she gets scared, I'm already there to support her. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I'm that kind of nice guy. - No, I thought what you meant was, you're like, you're at the date, you're talking, and the phone lights up and says, "She's about to tell you she's a Scientologist." (audience laughing) - Yes. - I mean, that would be a great app. - Yeah, that would be a good app. - Raise yourself. (upbeat music) - Coming up, things are looking up. In our Bluff the Listerer game, call one AAA Weight Weight to Play. We'll be back in a minute with more. Weight, don't tell me? From NPO. - Hey, before we get back to the show, a quick plug for a very special event. Now, you may have heard Bill Curtis, our judge and scorekeeper, is retiring from Weight Weight. I still have problems dealing with it, but in Bill's honor, we are hosting a live virtual event on Monday, May 11th, and you can join us. Bill and I will talk about his time on Weight Weight, his career as a legendary anchor man, and we'll be answering your questions about Bill and the show. So to get your invitation, just sign up for NPR Plus, and we'll send you a registration link. Signing up is also a great way to support the show and NPR. So just go to plus.npr.org and watch your email. Again, that's plus.npr.org. (upbeat music) From NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is Weight Weight Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis, we are playing this week with Pollypun Stone, Eugene Cordero at Alzo Slade. And here I get as your host at the Send the Ego Civic Theater and send the Ego California Peter Segal. - Thank you, Bill. And thank you everybody. Right now, it is time for the Weight Weight Don't Tell Me, bluff the listener game called One Triple Eight, Weight Weight to Play Our Game in the Air. Hi, you are on Weight Weight Don't Tell Me. - Hi Peter, this is Tim Borden from Gallup, New Mexico. - Gallup, New Mexico. - That works for the National Forest Foundation. I do forest restoration and I do forest restoration. - Oh right. - I just got on the Mexico. And in my spare time, I travel around and I sing with a C-Shanty band called The Strong Back. - You sing in a C-Shanty band? (audience laughing) - I help with this known for its flash flooding, so you need to be right. - That's true, I see your point, very good. Well, welcome to the show, Tim. You're gonna play our game in which you have to tell truth from fiction, Bill, what is Tim's topic? - A terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. - We all have bad days. You get dumped, you lose your job. You're in the Epstein files, telling him how you got dumped and lost your job. (audience laughing) But sometimes something bad can turn into a good thing. This week we heard about somebody whose bad day ended up with a surprising silver lining. Our panelists are gonna tell you about it. Pick the one that's telling the truth and you'll win the weight, weight, or of your choice on your voice smell. Are you ready to play? - I am, let's do it. - All right, first let's hear from Eugene Cordero. - In December, New York Giants Kicker, Young Ho Co, ran up to kick a field goal at the Monday night football game against the New England Patriots and instead of the ball kicked the turf right in front of it. It was instantly deemed one of the most embarrassing kicks in NFL history and Co was cut from the team a few weeks later. So it was pretty bad for him, but ultimately good for a fan. One, Mark Tooth-Acker, watching from home, he replayed the slapstick kick multiple times and laughed so hard he had a seizure. A feat, every comedian dreams of. Luckily, Mr. Tooth-Acker's wife is a nurse and rushed him to the ER where they discovered a tumor on the left side of his brain. The tumor was swiftly removed and turned out to be benign. So a terrible kick turned out to be a life-saving catch. (audience applauding) One of the worst kicks in NFL history leads to a fan's tumor getting discovered and removed. Your next story of a silk purse from a sauseur comes from Paula Poundstone. - After an hour long standoff with a passenger who commandeered her drink card and food service tongs before being subdued and duct taped to their seat, flight attendant Phoebe Whalen used her incident recovery time provided by American Airlines to prepare and pitch a reality show to the television networks. We just got the green light from ABC after a huge bidding war says an overjoyed Whalen. It's like below deck but higher. (audience laughing) Each episode, the audience sees the struggles between the flight crew and the passengers they have to deal with. There are bloody fights over passengers putting their seat back. There are passengers claiming their steam or trunks or carry on luggage. There's one episode where famous violinist is forced to put their violin in the overhead compartment and another passenger releases termites into the compartment. And by the time the plane lands, there are termite mounds and violin strings in the overhead compartment but no violin. Plus the purse has a thing for the guy in 3F. (audience laughing) A flight attendant's terrible day at work inspires her to create a new reality show about all the terrible days that flight attendants endure. Your last story of a bad day, turning good comes from alzo slayed. This story begins the day that the rapper actor, L. L. Kooj, woke up to his girlfriend frustrated with him over a constant problem. His ass he lives. His girlfriend looks at him and says, are you gonna do something about your lips? Every time we kiss, I need a bad day. (audience laughing) He laughs, she does it. She breaks up with him because of his dry lips. He grabs a cheap corner store lip balm, applies it. Thick chalky, it's like his lips are wearing a sweater. He wipes it off and it gets worse. So he does what most of us do. He licks his lips again and again and again. He goes to do an on camera interview. Every question, lick. Every pause, lick. Every close up, lick. But instead of nervous, it looks intentional. Instead of a problem, it looks like a move. And the next week, he has a product meeting. They ask him, you know what people associate you with, right? He pauses, licks his lips and says, yes. (audience laughing) So he introduces L. L. Kooj's take a lick lip balm. A flavored lip balm that inspires users to constantly lick their lips just like he does. This week, it officially became a billion dollar business, which is why he's on the cover of this month's Fortune magazine on his yacht that he named from Ash to Cash. (audience laughing) All right. Somebody's bad day, turned into something good. Was it from Eugene Cordero, how they famously flubbed the kick in the NFL, let a man to laugh at it so hard that he ended up getting a tumor discovered? From Paula Poundstone, a flight attendant who's terrible day at work inspired her to become a reality TV mogul or from Alzo Slade, L. L. Kooj, turns his dry lips ending a relationship into a brand and a business. Which of these was the real story of good coming from bad? Well, I'm not surprised that the giant are gonna be given people seizures from how they were playing last year. So I'm gonna go with Eugene's story about the football family tumor. You're gonna go with Eugene's story about the football kick leading to a used fan getting checked out when you needed to be. Well, to find out the correct answer, we spoke to that real person who benefited from a bad day. I hate laughs when his kickers expense, but you know, what might have been an embarrassing moment to him, it literally saved my life. That was Mark Toothacker who laughed so hard at that muffed kick it ended up saving his life. Congratulations, Tim. You got it right. You're in the point for Eugene and you've won our prize, the voice of your choice and your voice note. Congratulations. Thank you so much for playing. Thank you, everybody. (upbeat music) And now the game we call not my job. There is perhaps nobody who represents the city of San Diego better than the legendary local news anchor Ron Burgundy. They agree whose story was told in two hit documentaries, Anchorman and Anchorman 2, both narrated by our own legendary newsman Bill Curtis. We are delighted that Mr. Burgundy could join us here on stage. Ron Burgundy, welcome to "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me." Thank you, Peter. Thank you so much for having me. It was great to be back here. I imagine, and I think our audience has proved it, that when you come back to San Diego where you started your career, you get quite a response. People must be very excited to see you. People, well, I still live down here. OK. Yeah, everyone. Condo and Pacific Beach. Sure. [LAUGHTER] I got evicted from my townhome in Rancho Panesquitas. [LAUGHTER] So I'm now, you know, walking around the beach with my metal detector. I still work with my charity, which is we're rehabbing dolphins. We're trying to keep dolphins to stay in high school. Right. [LAUGHTER] Because guess what the dropout rate for dolphins are in high school? I wouldn't know. 100%. Really? Yes. Wow. That's why I see so many dolphins hanging out in the street corners. No. And then on weekends, I have my C. Shanti group. You do? Yes. Yes. How do that going around? We go back and forth from here to New Mexico. Sure. And we have competitions and things like that. So it's a very full, rich, busy life. Yeah. Bill here, your colleague in TV news, he famously got his start as a young man when he went on the air in Topeka and warned thousands of people saving their lives about impending tornado. That's right. Yeah. I'm sure your start as a newsman was something like that? Can I just say something? I admire Bill Curtis so much. Sure. You are the gold standard. Your legendary baritone voice is what I tried to emulate. And yet I couldn't hate someone more. I've always been so jealous of your task. But Bill and I, we have had some times together. Really? Yes. Yeah. Don't get Bill going on this story of Bill and I, Walter Cronkite, Angie Dickinson. And a flame thrower down at the dog track in Tijuana. Oh, wow. That's all I'm going to give you. Yeah. I remember when Bill did that, all he said was, "I'm on assignment." I'm on assignment. Now, Bill here, I know, having recently read his memoir, it covered some amazing stories. He was at Chernobyl, one of the first American journalists to go there. He covered the fall of Iran. Were you covering those stories as well? Yes. Well, I would wait for Bill to file his report. And then I'd embellish. I didn't get the biggest assignments. No. When I was a younger man, I remember I reported the Vietnam War was over after one month. So they didn't give me the biggest assignments at that time. Yeah. You went over there, came back and said, "It's going great." It's going great. Yeah. Now they're looking for you to report on our Rand War. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. That one should be over any day now. That's OK. Two weeks. Two weeks. Two weeks. The TV news business has changed. Have you had to adapt from your early days here as an anchor man? It really has. Network news is really down the old toilet. Yeah. So an applause for network through the device. I'm assuming that's what that's all about. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Well, I'm possibly for toilets. Look, I've still-- there could be a lot of people who just enjoy a good toilet. Who doesn't? Yeah. Who doesn't? I mean, when you walk into a bathroom, you see a finely sculpted piece of porcelain. Sure. You're like, that's a good-looking toilet. Yeah. What were we talking about? We were talking about it. You were talking about how you, Ron Burgundy, legendary anchor man, has adapted to the changes in television video news. I have-- I pretty much broadcast my weekly report from my garage. Sure. I have a satellite link up with my good buddy, Elon, Starlink. Except he didn't give me-- I have StarDink. Yeah. Which only broadcasts about 500 yards inside of my place. The one you bought on Timo. The one I bought on Timo. Yeah, I love Timo. I'm a big Timo guy. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Just is good. Eighth of the price. Right. And I think that's their jingle. Just is good. Eighth of the price. [LAUGHTER] But-- So the Burgundy report is out there. The Burgundy report's out there. I'm still submitting my resumes to local news stations. Really? Not getting any nibbles. I find that hard to believe. Given your talent, given your-- You would think so. Yeah. You would think so. Well, isn't independent news the thing anyways? Don't you want to be on that train? Yes. What you said. Yeah. Well, I do. I want to be an independent journalist. I don't want to be told what to think or what to do. Well, Ron, have you given any thought to the-- using the TikToks and the Instagrams? For example. That's a trend that's going nowhere. So-- [LAUGHTER] Well, Ron Burgundy, maybe you can consider this a job interview because we have, in fact, invited you here to play a game we're calling. Anchorman, meat, the Anchorman. You are, of course, the second most iconic Anchorman. In America, so we thought we'd ask you about Anchorman. That is Sailors and Seaman. Answer two or three questions correctly. You'll want to surprise one of our listeners, the voice of the weight waiter of their choice for their voice mail. Bill, who is your protege, Ron Burgundy playing for? David Dennis of San Diego, California. All right. David Dennis of viewer. All right. Here's your first question. We'll start with Ernest Shackleton. He was the famed captain who kept his entire crew alive for 18 months after their ship got trapped in ice. And Antarctica turns out, among other things, he was great at keeping up his crew's morale. They held debates, and they held singalongs. And he let the crew do what? Was it A, hold a weekly vote to update the rankings of who would be eaten first if they ran out of food? Being think up fun new names for the constellations or see Bill the big sexy lady snowman. Well, I have been stranded before. And with a large group, and we knew we weren't going to be rescued for a while, off the Aleutian Islands. What we didn't realize was that we were literally five minutes away from an army base. Yeah. But anyway, so we had to have that discussion of who we would-- I wouldn't say it's A. They made a list. It's a good say. They made a list of who would be eaten first. Yes. It was actually the big sexy snowman. Here's your next question. We're Admiral John D. Bulkley was a celebrated naval officer. He even has a destroyer named after him today. But he had an odd habit while he was in command of a naval base back in 1966. What was it? Was it A? He would dress up like a ninja and sneak around the base to test security. B, he would get around the base on a robot mounted on wheels that he would row or see since the Navy banned alcohol. He would drink fruit juice and then just act drunk. Well, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of. I don't know why. I always started every newscast with a stiff scotch. I would guzzle it down like there was the last drop of alcohol I was ever going to have. And I was ready to go. Yeah, sure. I'm going to say he rode around on a robot. He rode around on a robot. No, actually, he would dress up like a ninja and sneak around. And he never got shot. Either security was terrible or more likely, the security guards were like, oh, geez, the admiral's a ninja again. Just play along. Let him do it. Damn, we can't see him. Yeah. All right. We're getting at one right here. Capping crunch of serial fame has been sailing the seas of breakfast since the 1960s. Oh, yes. Always delicious. But in 2013, he faced a scandal. People accused Captain Crunch of what? A, using child labor to pick crunch berries. B, violating the embargo on Cuba. Or C, not actually holding the rank of Captain. [LAUGHTER] Wow. Yeah. D? Are you saying D? [LAUGHTER] I'm going to say, if you look on the box, it looks like a guy who's willing to cut corners. So you-- You're going to go for C. I'm going to go for C. That's right. He's guilty of stolen honor. Yes. Stolen honor indeed. According to the number of stripes on his uniform, he'd been an ensign, a lieutenant, and a commander. But he never wore the four stripes appropriate to a captain until 2024. He'd never get away with that in San Diego. Never. No, that's right. Bill, how did Ron Burgundy do in our quiz? Well, he did really well. He got one. Yeah. He did. [LAUGHTER] Hey. (audience applauding) - Ron Burgundy was the legendary anchor man on San Diego's award winning KVWN news team. Ron Burgundy, thank you so much for joining us on Weight Weight Don't Tell Me. (upbeat music) In just a minute, why you better leave your umbrella at home, that's our listener limbic challenge. Call one, Triple Eight Weight, Weight Dejones, and the air will be back in a minute with more of Weight Weight Don't Tell Me. From NPO. (upbeat music) - From NPR and WDB Easy Chicago, this is Weight Weight Don't Tell Me. The NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis, we are playing this week with also Slade, Paula Poundstone, Eugene Cordero, and Ron Burgundy. And here I give us your host at the San Diego Civic Theater in San Diego, California. Peter Tango. - Thank you, Bill. In just a minute. - Well, whispers, poems in your ear. Unfortunately, they're lemmrics. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-Triple Eight Weight, that's 1-888-924-892-4. Right now, panel though. Some more questions for you from the week's news. Also, there's a new amenity for travelers. Starting soon, you'll now be able to do what at the airport? - Hmm. Sleep. - Oh, people have been doing that for a long time. - Can I have a hint, please. - Yeah, you can have your hint. Good luck getting your personal bottle of body wash through security, though. - Oh, wow. - Shower? - Yes, you can shower at the airport. - That is gross. - That is great. There's a lot of mostly people at the airport. - Yeah, exactly. That's just gross. Some airports, mostly at this point in Europe, are offering a new amenity for arriving passengers. You've land, you go to the arrival lounge, where you can freshen up and take a shower. They've just started installing these. Congratulations to that one passenger, whoever it was, who smelled so bad, he inspired. (laughing) A whole new advance in the travel industry. - Well, that's the thing. It should be before they depart. 'Cause that's when you're gonna be sitting close next. - Exactly. - Yeah. - They should require it. - Require it. - They should make us all go through the shower on a belt like a car wash. - Or you know what? Where the light and the ACR are the buttons up there? - No. - There should be, you're just right. Exactly, you push. - You get a little pssss. - And they'll be part of the security thing. Make sure you wash your own hair and rinse before washing the hair and rinsing. (laughing) - Can you imagine going through TSA and the thing beeps and they tell you, excuse me Mr. Slay, can you come inside, you've been randomized and they just hand you a bottle of soap. (laughing) - I'm pointing to the shower. - It's like the airline equivalent of like a friend just offering you a breath. - Yeah. - Yeah, right, yeah. Eugene, this week the Washington Post reported on a bold and effective new idea in conservation. You can save endangered species like gorillas if we simply give them what? - What do they offer? - Endangered species. - Yes. - Other than hope? (laughing) We can't do that. Oh, we can't do that. I'll give you a hint. The hard part is teaching the gorillas to sign their name on the checks. Giving gorillas jobs? - No, not jobs. - Oh. - Are you signing a check to draw money from your bank account? - Yes. Give gorillas bank accounts. - What? - What? - So a man named Jonathan Ledgard runs a nonprofit that sets up bank accounts for individual animals. - I would so like to hit up a gorilla for five days. - Exactly. (laughing) - You know what's gonna happen? People are gonna like go out to lunch with gorillas and when the check comes they're all gonna be like, "Oh wow, I forgot." (laughing) - So here's our words. They set up the accounts for the animals and then like when someone provides a gorilla a service like say clearing a path to gorilla pays that person. But don't get too excited, gorillas are horrible tippers. (laughing) - I don't know about like this. - Why not? (laughing) - It's discriminatory. You have to be endangered to get a bank account. (laughing) Imagine the species that are not endangered like this is messed up. - Yeah. (laughing) - Yeah, giraffes have been making millions. - You know what I'm saying? - And they've just been putting it under a mattress. - Yeah, mosquitoes have a Venmo thing now. (laughing) - When you check their Venmo it's just dropple blood, dropple blood, dropple blood. (laughing) - I'm not even sure I understand it but I don't want my cats to find out about it. I know that. (laughing) (upbeat music) ♪ Give me this money before you go ♪ ♪ I believe that you might have no one ♪ ♪ Just give me the money ♪ - Coming up it's lightning filled the blank but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call me or leave a message at 1-888-8-8-924-8-924. You can catch us most weeks back at the Studebecker Theater at our home in Chicago where you can catch us on the road. We will be in Austin, Texas at the Bass Concert Hall in June 4th for tickets and information to all our live events go to nprpresents.org. Hi, everyone, wait, wait, don't tell me. - Hi, this is Marisa, calling in from Bellevue, Washington. - Bellevue, Washington, up there in your Seattle, right? What are you doing? - Right. - What do you do there? - I'm a lawyer but right now I'm enjoying my daughter's senior year, I'm on a sabbatical and she's enjoying her senior year before I become an empty nester. - Really? So you took off a year of work, a sabbatical, just to be with your 17, 18 year old daughter. - That is correct. - Did her should grin some days. - You know what I was about to say, when you told your daughter, is it your last year of high school, your senior, you can relax enough fun and I've decided to stop going to work so I can be here with you all the time. (laughing) How did she react? - She immediately lobbied for a pet or maybe a hobby for me. - For you, yeah, it's not for her, I understand. - Well, welcome to the show where as a Bill Curtis is gonna read you three news related lemurics with a last word of phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word of phrase correctly and two of the lemurics will be a winner. You ready to play? - Absolutely. - All right, here's your first lemuric. - This Egyptian found Greek stories yummy. That's how Homer wound up in his tummy and this corpse inspector found traces of hector on fragments embalmed in a. - Mummy. - Yes, remarkable discovery. (audience applauding) A page from the Iliad was found in the abdomen of an Egyptian mummy, meaning that either it was stuffed inside this mummy during the mummification process or this man died from eating the Iliad. (audience laughing) Now Papyrus has been found inside mummies before but it's always like religious texts. This is like the first time it's been a page just taken from a book but of all the books to be buried with, the Iliad is pretty cool, right? Yeah, it's a sophisticated guy wherever this guy was. How embarrassing would it be, for example, to be dug up 2,000 years from now with a copy of the Da Vinci code inside you? (audience laughing) - I was thinking more like green eggs than ham or something like that. - Don't mock green eggs in ham, that's a classic. - Yes, see I went with the Hardy boys. - Yeah, exactly. All right, here is your next lemuric. - This thunderstorm resets your brain. Get umbrellas and walk down the lane. Emotional pain will just wash down the drain when you take a calm walk in the rain. - In the rain, yes. You know this living in Washington according to experts getting rained on is good for you and not just because it's literally the most romantic thing that can happen to someone. That also apparently chemically boosts serotonin in your brain, that feeling you have and your jeans are soaked through and everything is chafing. (laughing) That's happiness. I also heard that if you run in the rain, you'll get more wet than if you just walk. - All right, that's like a physics convent. - That's a physics convent. - Because you're moving more, you're moving through like more volume of water or something. - Yes, 'cause I try to run through it and I'm not having fun. - No. - And if I walk through it, I feel like I'm really gonna have a blast. I can't wait for the next time it rains so I can have a blast being soaking wet. It's the best. Here is your last limbic. - For my workout, I need a fresh spark. - I'll run faster if dogs chase and bark. To avoid indoor stench, I'll do dips on a bench. No more gym, I work out in the. - Hard. - Yes, if you don't want to pay for a gym membership, don't worry. The New York Times says a public park has all the workout equipment you need. They publish the list of exercises you can do using a park bench like step ups, tricep dips, and jump ups when you realize what you just sat in. (laughing) And if there's a monkey bar, you know, monkey bars or a pull-up bar, you can be the guy who says, "Mind if I work in to a six-year-old." (laughing) - I've seen some adults working out at a park while I'm there with my children, really, and it looks terrible. (laughing) - How so? - Just because the kids are just having fun and then there's just a grown man sweating very close to us. - Yeah. - And we don't need that. One of the exercises that the time suggests is resting if you can picture it. You're up or back on the seat of a park bench and just doing upward hip thrusts. (laughing) (laughing) - Ow, in a public park. - In New York City. - You're just, you just, you walk in your dog and you just want to sit down. (laughing) We're like, "Hey buddy, can you move that pelvis "thrust somewhere else?" (laughing) - Bill, how did Marissa do in our quiz? - Marissa was perfect. Congratulations on your sabbatical. - Well done. - Thank you. Bye. - Bye-bye. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - Now it's time to our final game, lightning film the blank, each of our players will have 60 seconds of which to answer as many film the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now with two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? - Eugene and Alzo each have three and Paula has two. - Oh, come on. - How does that happen? - Don't ask silly questions, Paula. (laughing) - I'll take a poll with it. So Paula, you're our second place behind the two gentlemen. So you'll be up first. The clock will start when they begin your first question, fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the Pentagon reported that the US had spent over $25 billion on the war with blank. - Iran. - So for sure. - On Monday, Cole Allen was charged with attempting to assassinate the president last week at the blank. - At the White House Correspondence dinner. - Right, this week Jerome Powell helped his final meeting as chair of the blank. - Of the Fed. - Right, Federal Reserve. This week Chanel's newest shoe drew mixed reactions because it's literally just blank. - It's a, I don't know. - It's just a heel. - Or just a heel. - Just the heel of a shoe, nothing else. On Tuesday, UPS and FedEx said they would return refunded blank payments to their customers. - Uh, uh, Tara. - Yel, Tara. - Yes. - This week the chief of NASA started to push to make a blank, a planet again. - A Pluto. - Yes, a Pluto. - Yes, this week authorities in Sri Lanka arrested blank for trying to smuggle 200 pounds of weed into that country. - Elon Musk. - No, 22. (audience laughs) 22 Buddhist monks. The monks were just getting back from a weekend holiday in Bangkok. Monks go to Bangkok for the weekend apparently and they told the officers that arrested them that the $2.5 million worth of weed was a quote to donation to the temple. (audience laughs) You know what it is, you're in the temple, the donation plane comes around, you're like, oh man, I don't have any cash on me. All I've got is this enormous bail here. Bill, how did Paula do on our quiz? - Five right, good start, 10 more points, 12. Is there a total? She's in first place. - All right. Eugene, I'm gonna pick you up a trip early to go next. So I've fallen to blank. - According to new data, blank prices are the highest they've been in four years. - Oh, yeah, gas, oil prices. This week a Taco Bell employee in Florida was accused of pulling a gun on the customers who blanked. Didn't pay. No, who asked for a cup for free water, then went over to the machine and put soda in it. (audience laughs) Whoa, we're all feeling a little guilty, aren't we? (laughs) On Wednesday, health officials warned of a blank outbreak tied to chicken in 13 states. - Oh, Seminole? - Right. On Wednesday, the flyers beat the penguins to move into round two of the blank playoffs. The Stanley Cup playoffs. - Stanley Cup, yes. This week after a 31 day winning streak came to an end, Jeopardy champion Jamie Dings, and that he may have finally lost because blank. He got tired? No, because he forgot to pack fresh socks and underwear for the taping. (audience laughs) Jamie Dings said that he knew his losing game of Jeopardy was gonna be a tough one because he forgot to pack socks and underwear when he flew out to LA for the taping. - Dings still had an amazing run but it must have been even harder for him because the guy he lost to was only wearing socks and underwear. - Wow, man. (audience laughs) Bill, how did Eugene do in our quiz? - Three rights, six more points, settled in nine, still trails Paula. - Oh, all right. - Mmm, and how many then does Alzo need to take it? - Five to win. - All right, Alzo, this is for the game, here we go. On Wednesday, the Justice Department, and once again, indicted former FBI chief blank. - Come here. - Come here. - On Monday, the Mexican government arrested another high profile blank member. - Cartel. - Right, this week the United Arab Emirates announced he was planning to leave blank on May 1st. - The LAV, the South of California. - Not the Gulf tournament, no. - Yeah. - Oh, back, they're gonna leave oh, back on Monday, the White House, once again put pressure on ABC to fire late night host blank. - Jimmy Kimmel. - Right, this week a French teenager faced jail time for blanking in a public place. - Pean. - No, licking a straw, then putting it back in the dispenser. - Yeah. (audience laughing) - You're like, to do away for life, all right? - That'll do it. - On Wednesday, Jay Craig Venter, the man who decoded the human blank passed away at the age of 79. - Genome. - Yeah, after losing Saudi Arabia as an investor, PGA competitor blank, is that the risk of shutting down? - Yeah, I see I was ahead of you. - You were. - You were. - Yeah. - It lived, right? - Live, live, live, live, live. - LIV Gulf, yes. This week a woman in Massachusetts was convicted for sicking her blank on a group of police trying to perform an eviction. - Her pet rabbit. - No, her swarm of bees. - Whoa! - Oh! - 2022, housing out of a good Rory Woods pulled up in her truck to try to stop Sheriff's deputies from carrying out an eviction. When they wouldn't listen to reason, she went to her truck, selected one of her hives and released the bees. - Wow. - One of her hives. - Yeah, what a. - Sadly, she was then arrested for assault with a hilarious weapon. (laughing) Bill did also do well enough to win. - He needed five. He got five. - There you go! - There you go! - We're the days winner. (audience applauding) Congratulations. In just a minute, we're gonna ask our panelists to predict what will be King Charles' favorite souvenir from his trip to America. Wait, wait, don't tell me. He's a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago and association with urgent haircut productions, Doug Berman, benevolent overlord. Phillip Gota Carrazzar, Limerix, our public address announcer, is Paul Friedman. B.J. Leader, been composed, our theme, our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornboss, and Lily and King. Special thanks to Blythe, Robert Sinimonica, Hickey, Peter Gwynn is the controller of the city of San Diego. Emma Choi is our vibe curator, technical direction of some Lorna Whiter, CFO is Colin Miller, and with this show, we are delighted to welcome to our crew our new operations manager, Jisira Fardak. Our production manager is Robert Nuhasa, our senior producer is Ian Chilock and the executive producer of Weight Weight Don't Tell Me. Is Mr. Michael Danforth. Now panel, what will be King Charles' favorite souvenir from his trip? Also Slate, paper crown from Burger King. (audience laughs) Eugene Cardero, Doggy Bag from the Virginia Potluck, (audience laughs) and Paul LaFoundstone. He got one of the last cracker barrel t-shirts with the new canceled logo. (audience laughs) The LaFetti of that happens. We're gonna ask you about it. So thank you to Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Alzo Slate, Eugene Cardero, and Paul LaFoundstone. Thanks to Carolyn Sauer and the staff and crew at the San Diego Civic Theater, special thanks to Heather Milnbarger and everybody at KPBS here in San Diego. And thanks to all of you for listening wherever you might be. I'm Peter Sagole and Bill State Classy, San Diego. (audience cheers) (upbeat music) This is NPR.