2. Twins - Part 2

This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the UK. Fall tastes better with better ingredients from Whole Foods Market. No added growth hormones are antibiotics in their meat department. Means slow braised short ribs are even more satisfying. All-sea food is well caught, like their vibrant sockeye salmon, or verified responsibly farmed. And all sweets, including fall-themed cookies, are made without high fructose corn syrup. Spice up far at Whole Foods Market. Is World War Two back up for debate? I'm Tristan Redmond, host of the Global Story Podcast from the BBC. If you live in Europe or the US, the chances are you thought the rights and wrongs of World War Two were mostly settled, which is why some of us were surprised to find out that the podcast of Tucker Carlson not only disagreed, but he's been podcasting about it with a British politician. Today on the show, we explore why. Listen to the Global Story on BBC.com or wherever you listen. The whole magic of super funk, the nation or some, the type of twins that we are. Hetro paternal, super for foundation. I looked it up. It's not easy to say. It's crazy, even that as a concept. It's biologically possible for non-identical twins to have different fathers, but it's extremely rare. Fewer than 20 cases have ever been recorded worldwide. From what I can tell from my research, Michel and Levinia are the only known case in British history. They chose to share their story with me and we're documenting it for the first time here on the gift. Though they grew together in their mother's womb, they have different fathers. They are twins, but half sisters. And they only found out because they both took an at-home DNA test. What usually happens is that when a egg is generally fertilised, it stops another egg from being fertilised. So the fact that me and Michel survived, whatever this process was, and we're here to tell the tale, it just says we're miracles and we are special. And our mother's special as well, you know? It's the perfect gift for the person who already has everything. It promises to tell you who you really are and how you're connected to the world. It's like this impulse you have to just connect, a present that will reveal your genetic past, but could also disrupt your future. I felt shocked, but I also felt angry. In the gift, I've always looked at the extraordinary truth that can unravel when people take at-home DNA tests like ancestry and 23 and me. I have this saying, all that's done in the dark will come to light. Now I'm asking what it truly means to belong, after technology, genealogy and identity collide. That DNA test and taking it. Hugs! Families reconnected and ruptured. Identities are brooted, long buried secrets brought to light. The global DNA database keeps expanding. How do we find our place in it? I've forgiven my mom for everything. Do I regret doing the test now? I knew this was a new reality. Even though there were still question marks. I'm Jenny Cleeman and from BBC Radio 4, this is Series 3 of The Gift. Episode 2, Twins Part 2. Everyone was waiting for everyone to turn up and all the people that we'd seen and heard about. In December 2022, a few weeks after discovering they have different fathers, Michelle and Lavigneur are at a memorial service for a relative of Michelle's father, Alex. She's about to meet him for the first time in her life. Alex had a family at the same time we were conceived. So I've got siblings that are our age, but all around all shape, 49. New half-siblings? Yes, new half-siblings and cousins and aunties and uncles and Alex hadn't turned up yet. So they were doing a speech at the front and then I saw this man kind of like sculpt into the room. And he was clearly under the influence of drugs because he was sweating profusely. He didn't have any teeth, but the family members were kind of propping him up, like fixing his codes and making him presentable like, you know, obviously his family love him very, very much and have taken care of him and seen his weaknesses and compensated for that for him. But all I saw was a very broken man. A very broken man, Michelle's dad. We already knew that Alex had a substance issue. Levinia is there to support Michelle as her twin sister meets her father for the first time. It was easy to make someone like that into the villain. You know, what did you do to my mom? And I'm not saying that he did because we don't know. We don't know what their interaction was, just so many question marks. So there was anger, but also there was a bit of like, I don't want to say pity, because that's not the right word. But I can't hate or dislike someone like that, do you know what I mean? There wasn't that. I don't know. I had some empathy towards him because of his situation. And I also was looking at him because whatever the case may be, this was Michelle's father. And he also just drove home again that Michelle and I have different fathers. I could feel the whole room was looking at us like they knew. They did know. I went and gave him a hug and Levinia gave him a hug. And then she started crying. And she started crying because there's obviously the whispers in the back of my head about this negative connection him when mom could have had. I can't put it into words. It was huge meeting him and so many levels. But it was also a level of disappointment as well because he's so broken. There's no relationship to have. I think we both was just crying and just breaking down. And the sisters of the cousin who had passed, they were pissed and I can understand that. Because it kind of felt like we were taking away from what that occasion was. But it just so happened to be that situation or fortunately. You know, and it was a lot. It was a lot. As well as disappointment, Michelle feels instant recognition. He's dark like me and yet my long face from him and I'm a combination of my mom and him. Like if you put the maths together like two plus two, I'm the four. Because I can see me in him. He's mine, I'm his. But I didn't feel like he's someone I need to take forward in my future with me. I just needed to know. I needed to know. Michelle needed to know. But what about Levinia? After she learned that her twin was not her full sister and James was not her dad, Levinia put her DNA test results to one side. Michelle had other ideas. Alongside Mark, one of her ten new found half siblings, she decides that the next logical step is for Levinia to find her father. A name had come up in Levinia's test results. Something to go on. But Levinia didn't want to know. I kind of wasn't interested. I was just like, this is who Michelle's family is and they accept me so we'll just move forward with that. I'm happy for this. I'm good here. This is just safe to me. I don't need to find out anything more. But then Michelle and her brother, Mark, they were digging up. Is there so many unanswered questions you can turn to? Why aren't there any photographs of us as babies? And why mommy was so reluctant to entertain any other idea other than James being her father? Why does she dig that secret so deep? You had a situation where you had identified Alex and Levinia had this new name. Right. But Levinia wasn't going to do anything with it. Levinia was stewing and not a great soup. She was just like, I'm quite happy not even looking at who these people are. She wasn't willing to open another can of worms. It was already traumatic because it was. But Mark's kind of like me. He was going to be like, what? What? Michelle and Mark were determined that Michelle knew the search had to be handled with great care. I wasn't willing to share the information with lots of people because I don't want people to make judgments on my mother because even though my mother, the relationship I had with her, we have her to pieces. And I don't want people to think that she was promiscuous and she was out there. And even if she was so odd, but I don't want people to have the wrong idea of my mother because my mother went through a lot and despite all that, she did her best and in actual fact, her best was good enough. But she was very young at that time. She's nice. Yeah. And her life by the sound of it was very unstable, very chaotic. Yeah. And so sharing this information, oh, by the way, we have different fathers, speaks to my mother's moral kind of compass. But then I just this is still bigger than all of us and this is why I speak today because we're all born right and we're all walking around and how we get here is just details. We're here now on the live and well and I'm fine and so is my sister. You were saying she didn't seem interested in investigating who her father was but you were yeah and Mark was my brother so Mark he'd already been on the like private eye kind of path and he like worked out what families where Alex was kind of dead end there so then he's like show me her ancestry so I got looking his login went through the windows login page then we went down through the maze I was totally clueless absolutely clueless did you want them to be doing this right did you know they were doing this right Michelle had said to me she wants me to find my dad and she had your login details because you gave them to her so that she could see the results and I was just very nonchalant so I never said to her I don't want you doing this I was just like I just I had my head in the sand and I just wasn't interested so Mark and I were like staying up until two three o'clock in the morning just slew thing Michelle and Mark disappear down rabbit holes cross referencing names on ancestry with social media profiles they find a woman called Nadine who looks like she might be closely related to Levinia they leave messages for Nadine and finally get to speak to her on the phone Michelle has questions lots of questions how are you who are you how many brothers and sisters your dad oh he's got a b c d e it was extensive but then we came down to names that's like it's a time of their names one by one Nadine lists all the names in her father's family but it's Nadine's father's name Arthur that catches Michelle's ear that's just kind of like Arthur Arthur Arthur Arthur the name transports Michelle back to her mother's funeral and a conversation she'd had there with her mom's best friend I said to her that we'd receive results from ancestry and James isn't our dad and she said yeah I know I think what this is the daughter of the lady we call grandma mom's best friend at the time oh yes I know I know I know and I said so you know she says yes yes yes um so who do you think could be our dad he was mommy seeing at the time she went oh well it could be the skinny farskin guy called da da da da or it could be this guy called meanfoot meanfoot what does meanfoot she says Arthur Arthur meanfoot so I'm okay like how could you be so nonchalant with our fatherhood and that information we've known you all our lives and you've let us believe this man James is our father that you had this information you were the keeper of this and you chose to just keep it from us and then just nonchalantly spitted out in mom's funeral so this brings us back to the conversation with Nadine so I said Arthur I said yeah and I said meanfoot from the phone went signing and then I heard this noise he said how was it in the background and then she came back on the phone she said Arthur meanfoot tell me again I said yeah someone called meanfoot and he could be living his father and had to tell her that living year and I've got different fathers and I'm doing the investigation work for her and then she said let me call you back she called someone that she called me back then she says we're coming down tomorrow we're coming down from needs and notting them tomorrow like no pause and it's that thing of when you find your kin nothing can hold you back Nadine is Lavigne's half sister Michelle has found her and Lavigne's dad who lives in London so when I called Lavigne and I said I found your sister and I found your dad Lavigne's response was I didn't ask you to though I didn't ask you why have you done that fall tastes better with better ingredients from whole foods market no added growth hormones or antibiotics in their meat department means slow braised short ribs are even more satisfying all see food is well caught like their vibrant sockeye salmon or verified responsibly farmed and all sweets including fall themed cookies are made without high fructose corn syrup spice up fall at whole foods market is world war two back up for debate I'm Tristan Redmond host of the global story podcast from the BBC if you live in Europe or the US the chances are you thought the rights and wrongs of world war two were mostly settled which is why some of us were surprised to find out that the podcast at Tucker Carlson not only disagreed but he's been podcasting about it with a British politician today on the show we explore why listen to the global story on bvc.com or wherever you listen she calls me just a doll living out think I found your dad and I said I don't I don't want this you know I know where I belong I know who's who in my family and I just don't need to be making efforts and making whatever with new people who are probably not even going to be interested in me because look how many years have gone by do you think she was trying to make it up to you that she had gained this extra family you had lost being her her full sister and she was trying to find you that other family that she had found for herself I felt like she felt like I needed to do this and unfortunately you're going to be part of the fallout and I'm sorry that it's hurt you I'm sorry that you have felt like a loss but I never felt that she felt guilty do you think she was doing it because she wanted to know the truth about you even if you didn't get to know the truth yes yes definitely tell me about meeting your dad so yeah so then Michelle called me again and she's like oh your sister wants to talk to you and I'm like what they've come down to London they want to meet you I'm just like why are you pushing this Michelle and she was like I'm not pushing it I never told them to come down Levinia wants to belong to Michelle not some new biological family but then she agrees to have a phone call with her new found half sister after I calm down I called my sister and she was like we really want to meet you we're down after what if they've made that effort I can make the effort and I met up with Michelle we drove there and I remember the elevator door opening and my sister was standing there and I was just like looking at her and I could see I could see me in her and she was really kind and she gave me a hug and she was really sensitive but I was just okay let's just do this let's just get it over and don't move that's how I felt and we go in and my niece was there no I met my dad on the 29th of December 2022 at the end of a year in which she had lost her mother and her claim to be a full sister to her twin Levinia is finally face-to-face with Arthur her father he was so real he was so real and I let Michelle do a lot of the talking because I just was in a little bit of shock to be quite honest that I was meeting my real dad and then I learned that my dad has a glaucoma so he's blind you know 9% no vision so he's never even seen me and he was a little bit nervous but he's exuberant he's got a new exuberant character like me and I was talking but listening calm and my sister my younger sister she had caught so yeah so then we're talking and I don't know why but after the dinner and just talking and everything comes I got up I gave my dad a kiss on his cheek I just felt compelled drawn to do it like in my head I was like it's not his fault Levinia he didn't know he didn't know about you he couldn't see you but you could see him yeah and does he look like you? and my first impression of him no I didn't feel so well as time has gone by I look at my dad and my dad's child he's got serious he's loud he's unapologetic he's name is Moonford because he was framed in the community for being smooth on his feet like Michael Jackson during the moonwalk he was the best dancer my twin sister and I we attended the brit school I studied sound engineering craft design technology Levinia studied performing arts Levinia has always been I went to be a dancer I went to be gymnast she's always been outgoing and extrovert that is Arthur she's entrepreneurial he's a go getter he's larger than life and like even my friends who have met him and like spoken to him then I'm a god Levinia you just like him do you have a relationship with him now? yeah I've always said if I had grown up with a dad I would have been a daddy's girl and my dad has 100% embraced me, I have five new brothers and sisters, so two brothers, three sisters and 15 nieces in the future. Through the different siblings, you can see the similarities and it's all around the mouth in like their mouths are all the same, like Levinne has a big teeth and she's very smiley and very, you know, and all of them have it and they've all got like a gap in the middle of their teeth and Levinne is like the female version of Arthur that is undeniably his child given that it's so obvious to you, was so obvious that Levinne is undeniably Arthur's child, would it have been obvious to your mother, do you think your mother knew that you had different fathers? I think so, but sometimes your own delusion and wishful thinking, you can blind yourself to the truth, this element of cognitive dissonance, like she used to say things about Levinne yet, you're just like your dad and I was being like, but aren't I like him and I wonder whether that was it. So the Levinne has this thing, I think she puts sugar in her to eat and she stirs it and then she eats the sugar or she does something weird and when my mom used to always say, you're just like your dad, you're just like your dad and I asked James, could you do that? I used to observe James, he doesn't do that. So I think in the bath of the head, in mom's head, she knew that she was in great denial. Michelle and Levinne's mother is the missing piece of the puzzle, they managed to solve it without her, but they still don't have the full picture. She's not here for me to ask her what happened or what she knew. She probably was like, but how is that possible? That's not possible. I think it must have drove her crazy, so I think it was easy for her to just go with the narrative, but I think deep down she must have seen something, felt something, but she just dismissed it because it was just like how? She must have been going through a very difficult time in her life when she was 19 and she had you. I mean, now that you're a fully grown woman, do you look back on her life with this sort of different lens knowing what you know now? Oh yeah, 100%. Everyone's life is different, but we know at 17, 18, 19, sometimes you're finding yourself, things happen. I don't know what happened and I just pray, I don't know what happened and I can't even, there's no point focus on learning it because I will never really know. But I know she was in foster care. I know that she had the tumultuous relationship with her mother, my grandmother. I know getting pregnant at 19 would have been well and, you know, she brought up in the church so you don't have an abortion. It just doesn't happen. And she just felt overwhelmed. When your father, we asked him about his relationship, how do you know mummy? And he said, your mother, she knocked on my door. She was very upset, she was crying. She said that something about it happened. Come on, coming, please. Something bad had happened to their mother. We don't know what, but Arthur says she turned to him in her time of need. She went to him because of the only place she could go because she wasn't saying and she was in shock. Michelle took that first DNA test because she wanted answers after a childhood where the only thing she and Levinion knew for certain was that they had each other. In the space of a year, they had learned so much. But today, questions still remain. They have gained brand new families, but they became half sisters. Their lives, once lived in parallel, are diverging. I'm not going to lie, it's been a traumatic experience journey. It really has. And the saving grace, the only saving grace really, that's made it worth it, which is the key thing, is that I feel like I found a place to belong. And that place is, you know, my dad, he is just so accepting of me. He never breaks me or makes me feel small. He's just happy that he's had this opportunity to get to know his daughter. And, you know, he accepts Michelle 100%. He said to her, call me dad, like, I'm more than comfortable for you to call me dad. And that's not me pushing. And he's not pushing either, but that's from him. And it's genuine. And I love that about my dad. Like, he's a genuine person. And he loves to cook. So he cooks for me all the time. And I love that. I absolutely love it. So when I think about my dad, I feel like I found a place that I belong. And I feel comfortable and I feel safe. And I'm so grateful for that. Yes, it's been hard. And yes, it's been traumatic. And sometimes when I think about it, it still feels like a fresh blow. But he is the reason that makes it okay. As Levinia continues to build a relationship with Arthur, Michelle sees her dad regularly too, but in very different circumstances because my business is based in Brixton. And he's one of the men that beg in Brixton down in the market looking for money to pay for drugs. So I see my father all the time, but he doesn't recognise me. And I said it to one of my cousins. It's kind of like your family members and your family groups and things in your life like bags. And they've all got to label on it mum, dad, cousins, nieces. And there were all these bags on the floor. And you can choose to take some of the bags forward with you, but I'm not willing to carry the bag. That's named my dad. But I know that Levinia now has a father. She always brought it. He don't somehow. I've decided to call him dad. And I don't care what the other siblings say, because if he'd married my mum, I'd still be his stepchild. So I call him dad, but I won't ever go and visit him every weekend like in Twinders, because I'm quite happy to just notice there. Do you think that you've both gained as much as each other in taking these tests or has one of you lost more than the other and the others gained more? I think living in I have both equally gained more than we could ever ever have thought of or conceived ever. I myself don't think I've lost anything living here does. Michelle is an introvert, quieter, a mother to a teenage son. Levinia is exuberant, outgoing. She doesn't have kids. The differences between them somehow feel more stark now. Levinia says, it's nice to be with the family and be with my nieces and my nephews, but sometimes I just want to be with my sister. I just want that time with me and my sister. But my sister, she's got more responsibilities. And so sometimes I feel like she doesn't have the time or she doesn't see it as important or as important as it is for me. And so that has caused some friction between us. However, this situation we know is very unique. And because of that uniqueness and what we went through and the fact that we are twins, we're always going to have a closeness that is that's unbreakable. I love my twin. I love her. Mark, I love her from the minute that I knew she was there. She's my twin sister. Nothing gates away from that. We are fascinated by twins, what they share, how they differ. There are few more fascinating than Michelle and Levinia, twins and half sisters. It is that shared experience of being so extraordinary and the almost inconceivable circumstances that brought them into the world that makes their bond unbreakable. Even though they just had a big argument before I met them, they'll always have each other and they'll always share a birthday. I already visited my twin sister on the school run and I dropped her off at cars and a gift and I gave her a hug and I said, "Happy birthday." My dad's cooking for me this weekend and it's nice. It's nice to have someone want to celebrate me. Michelle's invited, of course. Michelle's always invited, the door's always open to her. Levinia has asked for us to dedicate this programme to the memory of her and Michelle's mum and the difficult life she led. Even if she had the inkling, we could have maybe found our fathers and had more clarity about who we were earlier in life, but I forgive my mum for everything. Next time, technology catches up with sperm donors in ways they could never have imagined. The whole DNA testing thing is thwarted. Most people's desire for the whole thing to be anonymous and thwarted it against their will. The gift is written and presented by me, Jenny Cleeman. The producer is Connor Garrett. You can listen to the whole series now on BBC Sounds, where you can also subscribe to make sure you don't miss an episode. my life in a way I didn't anticipate. A new series of astonishing true stories. It felt like I was part of a gangster movie. I was beaten up in a gangster movie and it suddenly hits you. My goodness, I might not survive this. Transformative experiences and extraordinary consequences. I just thought I can do absolutely anything. You just feel invincible. Join me, Dr. Sean Williams, for Life Changing from BBC Radio 4. Listen now on BBC Sounds. Is World War 2 back up for debate? If you live in Europe or the US, the chances are you thought the rights and wrongs of World War 2 were mostly settled, which is why some of us were surprised to find out that the podcast at Tucker Carlson not only disagreed but he's been podcasting about it with a British politician. Today on the show we explore why. Listen to the Global Story on BBC.com or wherever you listen.