Trying To Pass An 8th Grade Test!

welcome back ladies and gentlemen parents faculty today i'm in a graduation gown i don't really know why but i know the tv says ken joe passed the eighth grade so i can assume i'm about to embarrass myself on the internet for the one hundredth time but here we go let's see if i could pass eighth grade all right beautiful little presentation here i will say so myself great uh first question how many stripes are on the american flag i'm being disrespected here i'm being disrespected okay fifty stars thirteen stripes for the thirteen colonies put that in your pipe and smoke it okay originally the flag here's why am i embarrassed myself the Betsy Ross version had thirteen stars in a circle for the colonies i don't know how many stripes there were that could be wrong i don't know the point is i got this question right let's see the answer thirteen earning the hat multiple choice the Shakespeare quote to be or not to be comes from which play othello macbeth or hamlet fuck me man it's not othello it's either macbeth or hamlet i'm gonna say it's from hamlet show me hamlet yeah let's hamlet oh my god dude i'm a fucking genius okay you put me in eighth grade class and i'm gonna wow some people who discovered the laws of motion if it says alberty Einstein alberty Einstein Isaac newy Galileo Galilei as i say his name first of all i thought Galileo was like seal you know i'm saying like prince it was just like Galileo or usher like usher Raymond it wasn't usher Raymond even though he does sometimes defy the laws of motion was it alberty Isaac Newton was physics but maybe that was motion wait motion is physics is it Isaac Newton i'm going Isaac Newton Isaac Newton oh my god i'm a gene i'm a gene i'm a pair of genes what are the three main rock types if at any point this is where i would have cashed in my multiple choice uh fuck me oh man it's metamorphic sedientary some shit like that and then the third one is fuck if i know i have no idea metamorphic how do you set it's uh forgot how to say the word sedenitary fuck me and then the third one i couldn't even think of the third one at all damn i might i don't know i don't know it i don't know it what are they sedimentary metamorphic and igneous rock oh fuck i knew that bro this was the only science growing up that i like aced and i can't fucking remember the three types of rocks earth science was the only science that i crushed chemistry forget it forget if there's chemistry on here you could we can turn the video off now name the 13 colonies get at least 10 that's a lot okay fuck Virginia i like to know them like once i can get a few then i'll be on the i'll be on a roll here i'm just trying to remember Virginia Maryland i think Georgia was one oh my god north Carolina that's probably wrong uh new york yeah new york her new answer damn whatever the fuck um vermont new ham sure uh Pennsylvania that's not right and south Carolina i don't know those are all correct so far damn i just need to i'm gonna say new jersey in main i don't know i can't even think of another state i know it wasn't like road island maybe it was i'll just say road island then road island all right i'm stopping at there new ham sure oh Massachusetts you dumbass that's probably the easiest one road island is there Connecticut new york new jersey Pennsylvania delaware delaware was the one i wanted to say damn did i kind of get that i think i got that main was wrong but the last road island that i snuck in there bang got it wow i know more than i think i do the fact that i didn't get Massachusetts is so stupid one of the oldest places probably in this country is that where plimuth rock is what gas makes up the majority of the earth's atmospheric give me a fucking break here okay show me hydrogen bang nitrogen i got my rhodians all fucked up that's what it was hydrogen no i meant nitrogen not hydrogen fuck oh damn now i'm failing oh my god you're throwing algebra at me here i don't even know how to properly read this i mean i don't know how to actually solve these like but i can figure this out i can figure this out but i don't know how to solve them like actually like how to solve for it like yeah like i wouldn't be able to do that all right let's say we throw two in there right oh oh wait oh now i get it the answer is x equals four i'm a genius mathematician bro because when when there's a number next to a letter obviously that's multiplication and then you have to do the inside of the parentheses first before you multiply by two and then i was just going through a numbers i mean that should be way easier i didn't have the formula i don't remember it but i know you just got to get that bang bang bang i wouldn't be able to show work it would be disgusting to show work but got to four nailed it let's go name the planets in order from the sun you know what i always i always mess this up i always mess it up mercury venus earth Mars Jupiter Saturn Uranus Neptune and it comes down to Pluto i'm to i'm gonna leave Pluto off no wait no yeah i'll leave it off fuck it yeah Pluto's gone let's go let's go yeah my very my very educated mother just served us nine and then used to be pizzas or something um but now you just take the pizza boom when you got Neptune i'm nice you guys didn't have an acronym of the planets growing up you just memorized them for no reason wow that's crazy that was the only reason why i was able to do that all right before we get to the rest of this video we do have some sponsors the first one being aura frames this is a digital frame it's a really cool gift from father's day is coming up and this is a great gift for your father or for anybody honestly it's not just your father but it's good for your father because of father's day but you can get it for anybody but basically it's a digital frame that you could upload pictures and videos too there's like a little slide show so it's like a bunch of pictures in one frame it's very nice okay and there's free unlimited 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Frame and orframe is spelled a-u-r-a-frames.com in the in the promo code is Joe all right so support the show by mention us i check out terms and conditions do apply but let them know that I sent you it's a great gift orframes.com use that promo code Joe and we have Seakeek Seakeek is a ticketing app okay so if you're getting out there this summer and you're going to a concert or you're going to a baseball game or maybe football season you go to a football game or whatever whatever it is that you need tickets to they got it there's over 70,000 events on there at any given time and they have all of them they're the number one rated ticketing app on the app store. I've been using them for years and we've had a relationship for years and I love their transparency you know you go on the app and then you see a ticket for whatever it is and then it's like this is dark red though they'll label it dark red and it's like I say if this is too expensive and then the dark green ones those are good bang for your buck ticket so usually those are the ones I go for all right let's get let's get a good price here let's not just over pay for the sake of overpaying let's get a good price here so I like the transparency there but like I said summer's coming up go to something take yourself into a nice little concert or whatever you know what I mean I'm going to know a con I bought my tickets through Seakeek okay he's going to be at Cityfield it's going to be nice and you guys can come too or you can go to another show and if you're going to go to another show you might as well save some money so download Seakeek and when you use the code Joe 2026 at checkout you will save 10% off of your tickets all right so that has code Joe 2026 for 10% off of your next set of tickets on Seakeek if you're going out you might as well save that 10% use that code Joe 2026 and enjoy what is the largest organ of the human body please I've been down this road so many times show me skin thank you technically in organ technically I don't like the answer I think that it's very you know what I mean when I'm thinking of organs I'm thinking about indoors I'm thinking inside which I would probably go large intestine don't know if that's true or not but the answer is skin answer the question Joe saying the Taylor Swift song beautifully. What is the ad verb? Adverb. So I'm gonna do some here for you guys just so you know anyone who's confused. A verb, obviously. Verb, it's what you do, okay? It's so that is sing or sang would be I sang. Joe sang, he sang. Ad before the verb, adjective verb. How did he do the verb? He sang beautifully, okay? The ad verb is beautifully. I sang beautifully, show me beautifully, bang! I'm pretty smart, dude. I know something. I should be passing 100% this in eighth grade test. Also, I'm just glad some of this has been retained. I've learned some of this and I can remember it, which is nice. The only reason why I know that by the way is 'cause I've played so much madlibs over the years that I had to know what they were. Five hockey pucks cost, whoa, I hate these questions, dude. Now we're taking the LSATs. Five hockey pucks and three hockey sticks cost 23 dollars. Fuck my face. Five hockey pucks and one hockey stick cost 20. How much does one hockey puck cost? Five pucks, one stick is 20, five pucks and one stick. Five pucks and three sticks cost 23. Wait, how? Five pucks in both of these things. So that's an equal amount. Three hockey sticks gets the cost up to 23. One hockey stick goes to 20, fuck. Five hockey pucks, let's say they're two dollars. That would make that 10. No, we're not gonna do that. Honestly, 23 sucks. I wish it was like 25. Something divisible, something easy. I hate this shit. Oh, no, that's not it, fuck. Yeah, you know who would be amazing at these Keith? He's like so math, phone a friend. I'm calling Keith right now. Bro, if he picks up a piece of paper, it's a wrap for this question. Yo, I am taking an eighth grade quiz and I need your help. Listen, ready? Five hockey pucks and one hockey stick cost 20 dollars. What? Yeah. Five hockey pucks, five hockey pucks and three hockey sticks. Okay. That's 23 bucks. Okay. And then five hockey pucks and one hockey stick is 20 dollars. Okay. And we need to know the cost of one hockey puck. (crickets chirping) So two were taken away and that's what, three dollars off? Yeah. So that's a dollar 50 per hockey stick. So then you gotta do that again. And then that comes to what, 18 dollars and 50 cents. And then there's, how many did you say it was? There's five. Five hockey pucks, one hockey stick, cost 20 dollars. Five hockey pucks, three hockey sticks, 23 dollars. I mean, I'm probably wrong, but it was like $3 and 70 cents. Is it $3 and 70 cents? We're gonna figure out $3 and 70 cents. I fucking told you. I told you Keith would get this dude. Outside chilling with birds and he got it. Let's fucking go. All in my head, 'cause I am, uh, that's all I know. (laughing) Yo, let's go. Keith, thank you so much. You may have just gotten me an eighth grade education with that. What's going on, dude? Thank you so much, sir. $3.70. Keith, the birdman, absolutely killing it. Thank you so much. Bro, I know my brother. $3.70, I wasn't sniffing that. Okay, I was assuming this was going to be a fixed dollar amount and I would have never gone to cents. $3.70, unbelievable, dude. That was unreal. I would have never guessed that. What's the process called when a caterpillar turns into a butterfly? Wow. Metamorphosis, that feels wrong. But it's right! Yeah, let's go. You think I don't know caterpillars either? Okay, what do you think me and Keith did all day when we were younger? Okay, he'd be inside doing math. I'd be doing nothing. Then we go outside and we play in the dirt. Play with caterpillars, play with Rolly Pollyoles, little bugs, dig in the sand, touch worms. I know bugs, okay? I don't like 'em, but I know 'em. Last one. Who invented the light bulb? Ooh, trick question. Hmm, is it a trick question? I mean, I have an answer. If it's not the person I'm thinking of then, this is no longer an eighth grade quiz. But I'm going to say, Mr. Thomas Con Edison. You understand what I'm saying? Or maybe that's just electricity as a whole. Nope. I'm going to Tom Edison. That's the only person I know involved with electricity. Tom Edison. It's not Tesla. It's Thomas Edison. Oh my God, I might see the thousands for it. (singing) Thank you so much for coming, ladies and gentlemen. I'm the smartest eighth grade in the world at age 34, by the way. So thank you so much for sticking around. We appreciate the love. This is not saying I'm ahead. I'm sorry, it's too small. It's probably for an eighth grader. But thank you so much. Don't forget to subscribe. We'll see you next time.